Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,085 --> 00:00:06,005
BABY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT
WHAT TO GET JUNIOR
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,386
FOR HIS GRADUATION.
3
00:00:07,388 --> 00:00:09,008
IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING
HE NEEDS, BABE.
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,089
YEAH, HOW ABOUT THREE MORE
YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL?
5
00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:13,512
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GIVE
HIM YOUR FATHER'S WATCH.
6
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,814
I WAS, BUT I WAS THINKING
7
00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:16,555
ABOUT GETTING HIM
SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT.
8
00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:18,057
I WAS THINKING
9
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,639
ABOUT MAYBE SENDING HIM
OUT OF THE COUNTRY --
10
00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:21,691
A TRIP TO JAPAN.
11
00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:23,562
WHAT IS HE GONNA DO
IN JAPAN?
12
00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:26,034
GET A JOB TAKING
STUFF OFF OF TOP SHELVES.
13
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,106
JUST KIDDING.
14
00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:28,408
I WAS THINKING
15
00:00:28,409 --> 00:00:32,029
MAYBE HE COULD VISIT SOME
OF THOSE ANIMATION STUDIOS.
16
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,212
HE COLLECTS ALL THAT STUFF.
17
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:35,115
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
18
00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:37,206
AND WHO KNOWS
WHAT KIND OF EFFECT
19
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:40,118
A 3-WEEK VACATION FROM VANESSA
WOULD HAVE ON HIS FUTURE.
20
00:00:40,121 --> 00:00:41,121
COME ON, JAY.
21
00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:43,752
WHAT KIND OF MANIPULATIVE,
DEVIOUS FATHER WOULD I BE
22
00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:46,054
TO SEND MY SON HALFWAY
AROUND THE WORLD
23
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,256
JUST TO GET AWAY
FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND?
24
00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:52,339
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
I'M...EVIL?
25
00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:55,183
NO, NOT YOU. YOU WOULD NEVER
DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
26
00:00:55,176 --> 00:00:56,226
ON THE OTHER HAND,
27
00:00:56,227 --> 00:00:58,057
THERE ARE SOME REALLY CUTE
GIRLS IN JAPAN.
28
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,348
YOU BEEN ON THAT WEBSITE
AGAIN?
29
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,271
[ Japanese accent ]
SO SORRY.
30
00:01:03,184 --> 00:01:04,324
GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
31
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:05,525
GOOD MORNING.
32
00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:07,066
[ Normal voice ]
YOUR MOTHER AND I
33
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,817
WERE JUST DISCUSSING
YOUR FUTURE.
34
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:09,989
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS, SON?
35
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:11,240
I'VE DECIDED TO GO
TO COLLEGE.
36
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,153
BABY!
37
00:01:13,154 --> 00:01:15,294
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!
38
00:01:15,286 --> 00:01:18,286
YEAH, THE SHOCK OF THAT
JUST KNOCKED ME OUT OF MY SEAT.
39
00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:20,119
DID YOU SAY YOU WERE
GONNA GO TO COLLEGE?
40
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,161
YEAH. AND GUESS WHAT?
41
00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:23,502
I'VE ALREADY BEEN ACCEPTED
AT TWO SCHOOLS.
42
00:01:23,504 --> 00:01:24,674
WHOA!
43
00:01:24,665 --> 00:01:27,045
[ METAL CLANGING ]
44
00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:30,297
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE
OF THIS I COULD TAKE.
45
00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:31,631
YOU SAID TWO SCHOOLS?
46
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:34,012
WHAT TWO SCHOOLS
WOULD TAKE YOU?
47
00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:36,104
HAMMERHEAD TECH UNIVERSITY
IN TAMPA, FLORIDA,
48
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,556
AND HAMBURGER UNIVERSITY
IN OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS.
49
00:01:38,559 --> 00:01:39,889
I'M ASTOUNDED.
50
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:40,930
ME TOO.
51
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,391
I'M ASTOUNDED BY THE FACT
52
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,693
THAT THERE ARE COLLEGES THAT
WOULD ACTUALLY ACCEPT JUNIOR.
53
00:01:44,685 --> 00:01:46,685
THEY ARE CALLED
"JUNIOR COLLEGES."
54
00:01:46,687 --> 00:01:48,727
PLUS, I'M WAIT-LISTED
AT A REAL SCHOOL --
55
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:49,819
REDDINGTON.
56
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:50,990
OH-OH-OH-OH.
57
00:01:50,991 --> 00:01:52,941
[ DISHES CLANGING ]
58
00:01:55,236 --> 00:01:58,116
REDDINGTON?
THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD SCHOOL.
59
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,328
YEAH, IT SURE IS.
60
00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:01,500
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE
TO GO TO COLLEGE?
61
00:02:01,502 --> 00:02:03,702
YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING
TO US BEFORE.
62
00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:06,174
VANESSA SUBMITTED
AN APPLICATION FOR ME
63
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,167
'CAUSE THAT'S
WHERE SHE'S GOING.
64
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,459
OH, SO NOW WE GET
TO THE HEART OF IT.
65
00:02:10,461 --> 00:02:13,461
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA MAJOR IN,
SON, VANESSA-OLOGY?
66
00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:15,224
I HEAR IT'S EASY TO GET INTO.
67
00:02:15,216 --> 00:02:16,716
LET'S BE NICE, BABY.
68
00:02:16,717 --> 00:02:19,597
YEAH, WHAT FRATERNITY
ARE YOU GONNA PLEDGE,
69
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,020
"FELT A BIT A THIGH"?
70
00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:28,358
LOOK, WE DIDN'T EVEN THINK
71
00:02:28,359 --> 00:02:30,269
THIS BOY WOULD GET OUT
OF KINDERGARTEN.
72
00:02:30,271 --> 00:02:31,941
THAT WAS A TOUGH
THREE YEARS.
73
00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:34,202
SO, WE CAN'T START
ELIMINATING SCHOOLS
74
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,365
SIMPLY BECAUSE
HIS GIRLFRIEND GOES THERE.
75
00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:38,987
I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ALL THIS
MONEY ON TUITION
76
00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:40,739
WHEN HE'S GONNA SPEND
ALL HIS TIME WITH HER
77
00:02:40,741 --> 00:02:41,741
AND END UP FLUNKING OUT.
78
00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:42,912
NO, MOM, LOOK --
79
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,753
I KNOW THIS MIGHT SOUND
BIZARRE COMING FROM ME,
80
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:46,705
BUT I LOOK AT THIS
AS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY.
81
00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:49,087
BOY, SPELL OPPORTUNITY.
82
00:02:49,089 --> 00:02:52,919
O-P-OR-TUNITY.
83
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:56,473
SEE? THAT'S WHY THIS BOY
NEEDS TO GO TO COLLEGE.
84
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,677
I'M SERIOUS, MOM.
85
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,348
VANESSA HAS INSPIRED ME
TO WANT TO LEARN.
86
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,140
THAT'S ALL WELL
AND GOOD, SON,
87
00:03:01,141 --> 00:03:03,061
AND I WOULD REALLY LOVE
TO SUPPORT YOU,
88
00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:05,313
BUT REALISTICALLY, BABY,
WHAT ARE YOUR CHANCES
89
00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:07,306
OF GETTING INTO A SCHOOL
LIKE REDDINGTON?
90
00:03:07,308 --> 00:03:10,398
SLIM TO NONE, BUT I KNOW
SOMEBODY AT REDDINGTON.
91
00:03:10,401 --> 00:03:11,731
WHO?
92
00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:13,902
I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME,
BUT HE WORKS IN ADMISSIONS.
93
00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:15,874
I REMEMBER WE DELIVERED SOME
FURNITURE THERE.
94
00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:18,116
MAYBE I CAN MAKE SOME CALLS
AND SET UP AN INTERVIEW.
95
00:03:18,118 --> 00:03:20,698
OH, I WOULD REALLY
APPRECIATE THAT, DAD.
96
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,451
THIS OPPORTUNITY HAS MADE ME
SO EXUBERANT.
97
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:24,634
SPELL EXUBERANT.
98
00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:27,165
E-X-U-B-E-R-A-N-T.
99
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:28,247
IS THAT RIGHT?
YEAH.
100
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,379
OH, GOD.
101
00:03:36,136 --> 00:03:38,926
YEAH, MR. BURNS.
UH-HUH.
102
00:03:38,929 --> 00:03:41,099
HE'S A TERRIFIC KID.
103
00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:43,221
OKAY. SO, WEDNESDAY
AFTERNOON, 3:00.
104
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,273
GREAT. TERRIFIC.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE HIM.
105
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:49,146
YEAH, HE'S A NICE KID.
HE'S REALLY SMART.
106
00:03:49,149 --> 00:03:51,979
VERY LEV-- LEVEL-HEADED.
YEAH.
107
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:55,412
GOT ENOUGH BRAINS
FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
108
00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:59,116
OKAY. YEAH.
SEE YOU THEN.
109
00:03:59,119 --> 00:04:01,119
WELL, HE THINKS
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
110
00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,531
YOU HAVE AN INTERVIEW
WITH THE HEAD OF ADMISSIONS
111
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,674
WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON.
112
00:04:04,665 --> 00:04:06,245
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
THANKS, DAD.
113
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,786
YES, IT IS.
114
00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:10,078
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT THERE,
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT,
115
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,750
AND LET ME DO
ALL THE TALKING.
116
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,082
MICHAEL, IT'S HIS INTERVIEW.
117
00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:14,643
THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR
FROM YOU.
118
00:04:14,635 --> 00:04:17,635
I KNOW, JAY, BUT I GOTTA GIVE
THE BOY SOME DIRECTION.
119
00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:20,428
I'M JUST GONNA CALL OUT SOME
PLAYS FROM THE SIDELINES,
120
00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:21,841
LIKE A GOOD COACH.
121
00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,882
I MEAN, WE CAN'T PUT THIS BOY
IN A ROOM
122
00:04:23,884 --> 00:04:26,154
WITH ANYBODY WITH ANY KIND
OF INTELLIGENCE.
123
00:04:26,146 --> 00:04:27,186
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
124
00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:28,687
WHAT?
125
00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:30,849
ALL THE EFFORT
YOU'RE PUTTING INTO THIS.
126
00:04:30,851 --> 00:04:33,351
I'VE BEEN AN "A" STUDENT
MY ENTIRE ACADEMIC CAREER,
127
00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:35,324
I'M GOOD-LOOKING,
HAVE A SMALL HEAD,
128
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,856
AND YET NUMSKULL OVER HERE
GETS ALL THE ATTENTION.
129
00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:39,158
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
130
00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:41,899
CLAIRE, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY
FOR YOUR BROTHER.
131
00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:43,162
WELL, I'M NOT.
132
00:04:43,163 --> 00:04:45,373
I'VE MADE A FUNDAMENTAL
TEENAGE ERROR --
133
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,666
I'VE BEEN TOO GOOD.
134
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,247
NOW IF I DO SOMETHING GOOD,
135
00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:50,998
IT'S LIKE, "HO HUM, CLAIRE
DID SOMETHING GOOD AGAIN."
136
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,211
BUT IF JUNIOR MANAGES
TO TIE HIS SHOES,
137
00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:54,473
YOU PEOPLE THROW A PARADE.
138
00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:55,505
UHHHHHHH!
139
00:04:55,506 --> 00:04:58,336
HEY, LOOK, DADDY, LOOK.
140
00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,969
VERY GOOD.
141
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,840
HERCULES, HERCULES,
HERCULES.
142
00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:04,302
WELL, DAD, THANKS FOR MAKING
THE CALL.
143
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,644
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
144
00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:09,096
VANESSA AND I ARE GONNA GO
PICK UP OUR CAPS AND GOWNS.
145
00:05:09,099 --> 00:05:11,769
WHEN HE GOES TO COLLEGE,
WILL HE EVER COME BACK?
146
00:05:11,772 --> 00:05:14,612
OF COURSE HE WILL, BABY,
A COUPLE OF TIMES A MONTH.
147
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,985
OHH. YOU'RE GONNA MISS
YOUR BIG BROTHER, HUH?
148
00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:19,698
NO, I'M GLAD HE'S GOING.
149
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,490
I CAN'T WAIT TO GO
THROUGH HIS STUFF.
150
00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:25,003
[ GIGGLES ]
151
00:05:24,995 --> 00:05:27,615
UHHHHH!
152
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,118
WOW, BABY, THIS REALLY
FEELS GOOD.
153
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,120
OH, YEAH?
154
00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:33,161
YEAH. JUST THE THOUGHT
THAT MY SON
155
00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:35,673
MAY GET THE DEGREE
THAT I NEVER GOT
156
00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:37,126
REALLY EXCITES ME.
157
00:05:37,127 --> 00:05:39,837
MICHAEL, AS I KEEP POINTING OUT,
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
158
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,260
I KNOW, BABY.
159
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:44,681
BOY, I HOPE I DO GOOD
ON MY INTERVIEW.
160
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:49,969
HEY, I GOT GREAT NEWS.
161
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:52,310
MY DAD SCHEDULED ME AN INTERVIEW
AT REDDINGTON.
162
00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:54,612
NOW WE'RE ONE STEP CLOSER
TO BEING TOGETHER.
163
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:55,815
OH, CONGRATULAT--
164
00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:58,186
I THINK WE HAVE ON
THE WRONG HATS.
165
00:05:58,188 --> 00:05:59,318
I COULDN'T TELL.
166
00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:00,819
ALL MY HATS FIT LIKE THIS.
167
00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:02,821
I'M EXCITED,
BUT I'M ALSO NERVOUS.
168
00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:04,623
I JUST WANT
TO MAKE YOU PROUD.
169
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,115
I'VE BEEN NERVOUS, TOO.
170
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,446
I'VE HAD BUTTERFLIES
IN MY STOMACH ALL WEEK.
171
00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:10,449
YOU ARE GONNA DO REALLY,
REALLY GOOD.
172
00:06:10,451 --> 00:06:12,411
ONCE THE INTERVIEWER
GETS TO KNOW YOU
173
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:13,753
THE WAY THAT I KNOW YOU,
174
00:06:13,754 --> 00:06:15,674
THERE'S NO WAY
HE CAN TURN YOU DOWN.
175
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,086
OOOOOOHH.
176
00:06:18,088 --> 00:06:19,958
MM. MMM.
177
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,420
LET'S HOP IN MY DAD'S TRUCK,
TEST OUT THE HYDRAULICS.
178
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:26,064
I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD GO TOO FAR.
179
00:06:26,056 --> 00:06:28,676
WHAT'S 30 SECONDS
OF UNFOCUSNESS, HUH?
180
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,849
JUNIOR...
181
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,010
HUH?
182
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,101
I KNOW, I KNOW.
NO SEX.
183
00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:34,183
RIGHT.
184
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:35,904
BUT WHEN YOU SAY, "NO SEX,"
185
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,316
DO YOU MEAN NO SEX, NO SEX
OR NO SEX?
186
00:06:38,318 --> 00:06:40,228
NO SEX.
187
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:42,110
WELL, DOES THAT
INCLUDE THINGS
188
00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:44,582
THAT ARE CLOSE TO SEX
BUT REALLY AREN'T SEX?
189
00:06:44,575 --> 00:06:45,865
LIKE WHAT?
190
00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:48,236
LIKE YOU KNOW HOW SOME THINGS
ARE CLOSE TO SPORTS
191
00:06:48,238 --> 00:06:49,658
BUT REALLY AREN'T SPORTS,
192
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,990
LIKE PLAYING FRISBEE
WITH YOUR DOG?
193
00:06:51,992 --> 00:06:53,702
HOW ABOUT THROWING SOMETHING
UP IN THE AIR,
194
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,634
AND I'LL TRY TO CATCH IT
IN MY MOUTH?
195
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:56,796
HA HA HA.
196
00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:57,957
EHH.
197
00:06:57,958 --> 00:07:00,748
I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
TEMPT OURSELVES.
198
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,041
WE SLIPPED ONCE,
199
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:05,102
AND YOU ENDED UP LIVING HERE
IN THE GARAGE.
200
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:07,805
IF YOU PUT HALF AS MUCH EFFORT
INTO GETTING INTO COLLEGE
201
00:07:07,808 --> 00:07:09,808
AS YOU DO TRYING
TO GET ME IN THE BED,
202
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:11,260
YOU'D HAVE GRADUATED
BY NOW.
203
00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:13,351
WITH HONORS?
HA HA HA HA.
204
00:07:13,353 --> 00:07:14,393
NAH?
205
00:07:14,394 --> 00:07:15,484
NAH.
206
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,646
[ SIGHS ]
207
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,979
ALL RIGHT. I WANT TO BE
ON THE ROAD BY 10:30
208
00:07:20,981 --> 00:07:22,901
SO WE CAN GET TO REDDINGTON
WITH TIME TO SPARE.
209
00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:24,193
RELAX, DAD.
210
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,334
MICHAEL, CALM DOWN.
YOU'RE MAKING US ALL NERVOUS.
211
00:07:26,326 --> 00:07:29,026
I JUST WANT THIS TO BE RIGHT.
NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR?
212
00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:30,949
I DON'T KNOW --
JEANS AND A SWEATER.
213
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,951
NO!
214
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,662
YOU DON'T WEAR JEANS
AND A SWEATER
215
00:07:33,664 --> 00:07:35,924
TO THE MOST IMPORTANT
INTERVIEW OF YOUR LIFE.
216
00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:37,126
IT SAYS, "I DON'T CARE."
217
00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:38,377
HOW ABOUT A SUIT?
218
00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:40,128
NO!
219
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,250
YOU DON'T WEAR A SUIT
TO AN INTERVIEW LIKE THIS.
220
00:07:42,252 --> 00:07:44,342
IT SAYS, "I'M DESPERATE,
LIKE ME, LIKE ME.
221
00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:46,014
I'M DESPERATE.
I'M DESPERATE."
222
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:47,046
BUT I AM DESPERATE.
223
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:48,967
WE ALL KNOW
YOU'RE DESPERATE.
224
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,299
LOOK AT YOUR FACE.
IT SAYS HOPELESS.
225
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:53,391
BUT YOU DON'T WANT
TO SHOW THAT.
226
00:07:53,393 --> 00:07:55,363
YOU WANT TO BE COOL
AND CONFIDENT.
227
00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:58,595
WEAR A NICE PAIR OF SLACKS
WITH AN OPEN-COLLAR SHIRT.
228
00:07:58,599 --> 00:08:00,769
THAT'S WHAT SAYS COOL,
CONFIDENT.
229
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,441
I THINK THAT SAYS DORK.
230
00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:03,772
OH, COME ON, BE NICE.
231
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:07,034
YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ME
TO KICK AROUND MUCH LONGER.
232
00:08:07,027 --> 00:08:08,157
YOU PROMISE?
233
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,368
GIVE ME A TIME FRAME.
234
00:08:09,369 --> 00:08:11,529
ONE WEEK, TWO WEEKS,
WHAT? WHAT?
235
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,712
HEY, HEY, VULTURE, YOU CAN PICK
HIS BONES LATER.
236
00:08:14,705 --> 00:08:16,615
IF YOU'RE FINISHED
WITH YOUR BREAKFAST,
237
00:08:16,617 --> 00:08:18,117
THEN GO UPSTAIRS
AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL.
238
00:08:18,118 --> 00:08:19,498
I'M OUTTA HERE.
239
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,919
LET'S GO OVER THE ROUTE WE'RE
GONNA TAKE TO GET TO REDDINGTON.
240
00:08:21,922 --> 00:08:22,922
ALL RIGHT.
241
00:08:22,923 --> 00:08:23,963
HOLLER!
242
00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,224
HI, CLAIRE.
243
00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:27,925
I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE
THE 95 UP TO THE PARKWAY,
244
00:08:27,928 --> 00:08:30,298
THEN TURN OFF
RIGHT OVER HERE.
245
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,300
NO, BABY, NO.
246
00:08:31,301 --> 00:08:34,941
YOU WANT TO AVOID THE FREEWAY.
DON'T TAKE THAT ROUTE.
247
00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:37,095
YOU GO THE SURFACE
STREETS.
248
00:08:37,097 --> 00:08:38,807
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
249
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,519
WE'RE GOING OVER
THIS ROUTE HERE.
250
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,601
WE'RE MAPPING OUT
251
00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:45,783
HOW WE'RE GONNA GET TO THE
REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY.
252
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,026
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
253
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,647
TAKE THIS WAY RIGHT HERE.
254
00:08:48,649 --> 00:08:50,489
AFTER SCHOOL TODAY, I'M THINKING
OF GETTING A TATTOO.
255
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,700
THAT'S GOOD, BABY.
256
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:52,952
OF HITLER.
257
00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,873
THAT'S NICE, CLAIRE.
THAT'S NICE.
258
00:08:54,865 --> 00:08:56,205
THAT'S NICE, BABY.
259
00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,576
ON MY FACE.
260
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,918
OF HITLER!
261
00:08:58,919 --> 00:09:01,539
THAT'S NICE, BABY.
THAT'S NICE.
262
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,421
YOU'LL BE
LIKE TYSON.
263
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:06,473
JUST MAKE SURE THEY DON'T
MESS UP THE MOUSTACHE.
264
00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:08,006
WE'LL TAKE
THE SURFACE STREETS.
265
00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:09,378
THANK YOU.
266
00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:11,009
BUT IF WE'RE LATE,
I'M GONNA BLAME YOU.
267
00:09:11,011 --> 00:09:13,221
HEY, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY
INTERVIEWING TECHNIQUES.
268
00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:14,383
AND I THINK I'VE COME UP
269
00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:15,734
WITH A GREAT WAY
TO BREAK THE ICE --
270
00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:17,056
I'M GONNA OPEN
WITH A JOKE.
271
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,097
THAT'S GOOD.
272
00:09:18,098 --> 00:09:20,138
HERE WE GO.
KNOCK, KNOCK.
273
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,140
WHO'S THERE?
274
00:09:21,141 --> 00:09:22,391
JUNIOR!
275
00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:24,022
NO, WAIT.
THAT'S NOT HOW IT GO.
276
00:09:24,024 --> 00:09:26,034
OKAY. YOU START.
YOU START.
277
00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:27,986
KNOCK, KNOCK.
KNOCK, KNOCK.
278
00:09:27,988 --> 00:09:29,358
WHO'S THERE?
279
00:09:29,359 --> 00:09:31,489
NO, WAIT. THAT'S NOT
HOW IT GO, NEITHER.
280
00:09:31,491 --> 00:09:33,901
UH, I'M GONNA GO WORK
ON THAT.
281
00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:35,464
WOW.
282
00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:38,245
KNOCK, KNOCK.
WHO'S THERE?
283
00:09:38,248 --> 00:09:40,158
JACKASS.
284
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,626
COME ON.
SIT UP STRAIGHT.
285
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,548
DON'T HAVE YOUR KNEES
SO FAR APART.
286
00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:50,669
STOP ROCKING.
287
00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:53,301
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
YOU'RE SLING BLADE?
288
00:09:53,303 --> 00:09:55,313
TAKE YOUR HAND OUT
YOUR MOUTH.
289
00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:56,475
HEE HEE HEE.
290
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,766
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING FOR?
291
00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,518
TAKE THE SMILE
OFF YOUR FACE.
292
00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:00,979
ONLY STUPID PEOPLE SMILE
293
00:10:00,981 --> 00:10:03,141
WHEN THERE'S NOTHING
TO SMILE ABOUT.
294
00:10:03,143 --> 00:10:05,403
DON'T LOOK SO MEAN.
YOU LOOK ANGRY.
295
00:10:05,395 --> 00:10:06,855
YOU LOOK LIKE VING RHAMES.
296
00:10:09,439 --> 00:10:10,649
NO. RIGHT HERE.
297
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,691
THERE IT IS.
JUST KEEP THAT FACE.
298
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:16,504
ALL RIGHT, NOW, IF YOU HAVE
TO BREAK WIND -- DO YOU?
299
00:10:16,496 --> 00:10:17,786
GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
300
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:18,908
NOT HERE.
301
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,289
GO OUT IN THE HALLWAY.
302
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:21,450
OKAY. JEEZ.
303
00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:23,701
MICHAEL KYLE, YOU ARE
COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.
304
00:10:23,704 --> 00:10:26,254
YOU GOTTA LET THIS BOY
REPRESENT HIMSELF.
305
00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:28,126
I'M TRYING TO WHIP HIM
INTO SHAPE
306
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,878
AND GIVE HIM
A LITTLE PEP TALK.
307
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,510
YOU'RE TRYING TO BEAT HIM,
AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
308
00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:34,632
WELL, MAYBE I'M
A LITTLE OVERANXIOUS.
309
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,064
A LITTLE OVERANXIOUS?
310
00:10:36,056 --> 00:10:38,426
NO, MICHAEL, YOU'RE WAY
OVER THE TOP.
311
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:40,678
WHEN YOU GET INTO THAT ROOM,
I WANT YOU TO SIT DOWN.
312
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,391
WHEN JUNIOR GOES IN THERE,
AND HE SAYS SOMETHING STUPID,
313
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,533
I WANT YOU TO NOD YOUR HEAD
AND SUPPORT HIM.
314
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,065
BECAUSE IF HE'S TO GET
INTO THIS COLLEGE,
315
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,227
I WANT IT TO BE BECAUSE OF WHO
HE IS, NOT FOR WHO YOU ARE
316
00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:50,689
OR WHO HE IS PRETENDING
TO BE.
317
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,441
GET YOUR HAND OUT YOUR MOUTH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
318
00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:54,572
SIT UP!
SIT UP STRAIGHT!
319
00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:56,284
UNCROSS YOUR LEGS.
320
00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:58,406
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING FOR?!
321
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,948
I GOTTA BREAK WIND.
322
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,700
GO DO IT.
GO DO IT.
323
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,384
WELL, YOUNG MAN, TELL ME WHY
324
00:11:06,376 --> 00:11:08,286
YOU'D LIKE TO ATTEND
REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY.
325
00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:09,668
WELL, WHO WOULDN'T WANT
326
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,709
TO ATTEND THIS FINE
UNIVERSITY OF REDDINGTON?
327
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,853
FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE THE
HIGHEST ACADEMIC STANDARDS
328
00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:17,386
IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.
329
00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:18,717
EXCUSE ME.
330
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:22,679
MICHAEL, I BELIEVE HE WAS
TALKING TO MICHAEL JUNIOR.
331
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,472
OH. HA HA.
WELL, MY MISTAKE.
332
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:26,734
I'M SURE MICHAEL JUNIOR
WOULD HAVE SAID
333
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,767
IT'S BECAUSE OF THE HIGH
ACADEMIC STANDARDS
334
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,730
AND THE ACHIEVEMENTS
OF THE ALUMNI.
335
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,402
RIGHT, SON, ISN'T THAT
WHAT YOU WOULD SAY?
336
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,664
TELL HIM.
JUST LIKE THAT.
337
00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,866
I LIKE TO ACHIEVE ALUMNIS.
338
00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,463
YOU SEE HOW HE EDITS?
339
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,665
WHAT HE DOES IS HE TAKES IN
INFORMATION, HE DISSECTS IT,
340
00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:53,669
AND THEN HE SPITS IT OUT
IN A VERY UNORTHODOX WAY.
341
00:11:53,673 --> 00:11:56,053
HE'S SORT OF AN IDIOT SAVANT.
342
00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:57,966
I NICKNAMED HIM RAIN MAN.
343
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,258
AND UPID-STA.
344
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,233
SO, WHAT ARE SOME
OF YOUR INTERESTS?
345
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,476
YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S GREAT AT?
ART.
346
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,018
THIS KID CAN DRAW
A CARICATURE OF SOMEONE
347
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,691
IN LESS THAN 30 SECONDS.
348
00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:13,902
HERE, DRAW MR. BURNS.
349
00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:16,784
WHAT ARE YOUR INTERESTS?
WHAT DO YOU LIKE?
350
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,817
I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME
READING.
351
00:12:18,819 --> 00:12:20,319
BOOKS. THAT'S GREAT.
352
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,280
DRAW HIM WITH A BIG BOOK,
A LITTLE HEAD, AND BIG GLASSES.
353
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,793
DON'T MAKE HIM TOO BIG.
354
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,785
DON'T MAKE HIM A HEAVY GUY
BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT SIZE.
355
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,628
PUT THAT WINNING SMILE
ON HIS FACE,
356
00:12:29,629 --> 00:12:30,919
THE LITTLE DIMPLES HE'S GOT.
357
00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:32,921
GO AHEAD, SON.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
358
00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:35,763
OKAY. I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY, MR. BURNS.
359
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,835
HIS FATHER'S
A LITTLE ANXIOUS.
360
00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:39,008
I UNDERSTAND.
361
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,589
MAYBE I SHOULD SEE
MICHAEL ALONE.
362
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,970
MR. AND MRS. KYLE, YOU CAN
WAIT OUT IN THE HALL.
363
00:12:42,973 --> 00:12:44,013
ALONE?
364
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,274
THANK YOU.
365
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,885
JUST YOU AND HIM IN THE --
IN THE SAME ROOM?
366
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,559
OH, BUT --
WE CAN HANDLE THAT.
367
00:12:51,561 --> 00:12:53,851
YOU CAN HANDLE THAT,
RIGHT, SON, HUH?
368
00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:55,994
HA HA.
YOU'RE GONNA HANDLE THAT.
369
00:12:55,986 --> 00:12:58,566
WELL, OKAY. FINE.
370
00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:00,278
WE'LL BE --
371
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,740
IT'S REALLY NICE MEETING YOU.
372
00:13:01,741 --> 00:13:04,071
I'M SURE YOU'LL MAKE
THE RIGHT DECISION.
373
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,964
IN FACT,
I'M CONFIDENT YOU WILL.
374
00:13:07,908 --> 00:13:08,748
UH, MR. KYLE...
375
00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:09,958
YES?
376
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,710
YOU DROPPED SOME MONEY
ON MY DESK.
377
00:13:11,711 --> 00:13:13,501
WELL, LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S NOT MINE.
378
00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:14,753
THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.
379
00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:17,844
WELL, THERE'S A WHOLE PILE
OF HUNDREDS HERE.
380
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:21,008
THAT'S NOT MINE, BUT I'M SURE
THERE'S A LOT MORE
381
00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:22,631
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
382
00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:25,772
I HEAR THE HUNDRED FAIRY
IS VERY, VERY GENEROUS.
383
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,728
HA HA. JUST TAKE
THE MONEY, PLEASE.
384
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:31,890
OKAY, FINE.
385
00:13:31,892 --> 00:13:33,732
I'LL TAKE THE MONEY
THAT'S NOT MINE.
386
00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:37,443
I MEAN, WHO WOULD TURN DOWN FREE
MONEY OTHER THAN YOU, HUH?
387
00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:40,697
I WANT YOU TO KNOW, MR. BURNS,
IF THIS WAS MY MONEY,
388
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:41,860
IF IN FACT IT IS,
389
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,572
IT PROBABLY FELL OUT
THROUGH A HOLE IN MY POCKET.
390
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,294
I DIDN'T DROP IT
INTENTIONALLY.
391
00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:47,326
JUST GO, PLEASE.
392
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,327
WE'RE GOING.
393
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,578
SIR...
394
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,949
HUH?
395
00:13:51,952 --> 00:13:53,212
LOOK AT THAT.
396
00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:56,553
THAT MONEY JUST WON'T
STAY IN MY POCKET.
397
00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:59,086
I'M REALLY A CLUMSY GUY.
WHOOPSIE.
398
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,129
OKAY.
399
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,460
GO, PLEASE.
400
00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:03,511
YEAH. WE'RE GONE.
WE'RE GONE.
401
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,468
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
WILL YOU --
402
00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:11,810
STOP LISTENING AT THE DOOR.
403
00:14:11,811 --> 00:14:12,811
I'M SORRY.
404
00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,982
I JUST WANT THIS SO BADLY
FOR THAT BOY.
405
00:14:14,975 --> 00:14:17,565
I'D DO ANYTHING TO GET JUNIOR
INTO THIS COLLEGE.
406
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:20,147
WELL, YOU CAN'T BRIBE YOUR WAY
INTO THE COLLEGE.
407
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,480
SURE YOU CAN, JAY.
408
00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:23,741
I JUST DIDN'T DROP
ENOUGH CASH.
409
00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:26,043
SEE? HE'S NEGOTIATING
WITH US, JAY.
410
00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,786
THE GUY'S PLAYING HARDBALL.
411
00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:30,867
HE KNOWS THAT ONLY THE TOP
BILL WAS A 100.
412
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,290
BUT I'M WEARING HIM DOWN.
413
00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:35,962
YOU SEE HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM
TO GIVE IT BACK THE LAST TIME?
414
00:14:35,956 --> 00:14:37,416
I KNOW WHAT HE LIKES NOW.
415
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:38,707
AND WHAT'S THAT?
416
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:39,998
STEAK.
417
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,340
SEE? IF I'D HAVE HAD SOME MEAT
BETWEEN THAT $100 BILL,
418
00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:46,643
JUNIOR WOULD HAVE BEEN GOING
TO REDDINGTON BY NOW.
419
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:47,926
YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS.
420
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:51,308
OH, GOD, MICHAEL, I HOPE
WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.
421
00:14:51,311 --> 00:14:52,891
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
422
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,892
I KEEP PICTURING HIM
AND THAT GIRL HERE.
423
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,404
HE'S SO CRAZY ABOUT HER.
424
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,476
HOW LONG WILL IT BE BEFORE
HE GETS INTO TROUBLE?
425
00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:00,688
LOOK, THEY CAN GET INTO
TROUBLE ANYWHERE.
426
00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:01,820
AT LEAST HERE,
427
00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:04,151
THEY'LL BE LEARNING SOMETHING
IN THE PROCESS.
428
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:06,374
I CAN'T HELP BUT WORRY.
I'M A MOTHER.
429
00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:08,736
HEY, I WORRY
ABOUT OUR KIDS, TOO.
430
00:15:08,738 --> 00:15:10,948
DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
ACKNOWLEDGE
431
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,621
THAT CLAIRE'S A BLONDE?
432
00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:15,712
NAH. IT'S TOO MUCH FUN
TORTURING HER RIGHT NOW.
433
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:18,035
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
TO THEM, MICHAEL?
434
00:15:18,038 --> 00:15:19,338
I DON'T KNOW, JAY.
435
00:15:19,339 --> 00:15:21,039
KIDS ARE LIKE BOWLING BALLS.
436
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:23,631
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT
TO LET 'EM GO,
437
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,763
AND THEN KIND OF DO THIS...
438
00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:31,549
AND HOPE THEY DON'T END UP
IN THE GUTTER.
439
00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:34,471
SPEAKING OF BOWLING BALLS,
HEY, HOW'D IT GO IN THERE?
440
00:15:34,474 --> 00:15:36,984
GREAT. WE TALKED ABOUT
ALL KINDS OF STUFF.
441
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,977
OH, BOY, WE'RE DEAD
IN THE WATER.
442
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:41,609
NO, DAD. IT WAS A VERY
STIMULATING CONVERSATION.
443
00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:42,611
WIDE-RANGING.
444
00:15:42,612 --> 00:15:44,992
HE SAID I WAS
A VERY PECULIAR YOUNG MAN.
445
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,235
TRANSLATION --
"WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE."
446
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,527
NO, DAD, HE SAID THAT
447
00:15:48,528 --> 00:15:51,328
IF I'M WILLING TO TAKE A FEW
EXTRA COURSES AND DO WELL,
448
00:15:51,331 --> 00:15:53,831
PLAY ANOTHER SPORT,
LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE,
449
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:55,213
AND GROW A COUPLE OF INCHES,
450
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,745
THERE'S A 25% TO 30% CHANCE
451
00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:59,076
THAT I COULD MOVE UP
ON THE WAITING LIST.
452
00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:02,789
WOW. 25% TO 30% CHANCE.
453
00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:03,882
YOU KNOW WHAT?
454
00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:05,183
IF YOU KEEP GETTING NEWS
LIKE THAT, SON,
455
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,255
YOU'LL BE HALFWAY WHERE
YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE.
456
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,967
THANKS, DAD.
I OWE IT ALL TO YOU.
457
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,928
MAN, YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEEN HIS FACE
458
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:13,970
WHEN I TOLD HIM ABOUT MY COMIC
BOOK ON TOILET PAPER IDEA.
459
00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:18,687
COME ON, LET'S GO.
460
00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:19,728
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
461
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,479
GET A SIDE OF BEEF.
462
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,071
CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?
463
00:16:33,073 --> 00:16:34,113
YEAH, SURE. WHAT'S UP?
464
00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:36,834
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT JUNIOR
LEAVING HOME?
465
00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,996
OH, I'M THRILLED.
I CANNOT BE HAPPIER.
466
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,039
YEAH, ME TOO.
467
00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:42,041
WHO NEEDS HIM?
468
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,122
NOT ME.
469
00:16:43,123 --> 00:16:45,593
I'VE BEEN WEARING A BLOND WIG
FOR TWO DAYS,
470
00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:47,675
AND MOM AND DAD HAVEN'T
EVEN BLINKED.
471
00:16:47,677 --> 00:16:49,547
MAYBE WHEN JUNIOR'S
FINALLY GONE,
472
00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,679
THEY'LL START PAYING
ATTENTION TO US.
473
00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:53,761
I CAN'T WAIT
UNTIL HE LEAVES.
474
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:54,763
ME NEITHER.
475
00:16:56,015 --> 00:17:00,015
OF COURSE, I WILL MISS
THE COOKIES.
476
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,189
WHAT COOKIES?
477
00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:03,521
EVERY NIGHT,
AFTER I GO TO SLEEP,
478
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,993
JUNIOR PUTS
A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE
479
00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:07,065
OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR.
480
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,197
THOSE COOKIES
ARE FROM JUNIOR?
481
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:10,359
YOU GET ONE, TOO?
482
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,150
YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT THEY
WERE FROM MOM OR DAD
483
00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:14,533
OR THE COOKIE FAIRY.
484
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,124
I NEVER THOUGHT
THEY WERE FROM JUNIOR.
485
00:17:17,117 --> 00:17:18,327
YEAH, JUNIOR SAID
486
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,248
AS LONG AS THERE'S A COOKIE
OUTSIDE OF YOUR DOOR,
487
00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:22,961
BAD DREAMS CAN'T GET IN.
488
00:17:22,962 --> 00:17:26,262
HUH. IMAGINE THAT.
489
00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:27,926
JUNIOR?
490
00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:30,627
YEP. JUNIOR.
491
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:33,760
AH, I'M STILL NOT
GONNA MISS HIM.
492
00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:34,973
ME NEITHER.
493
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,768
[ SIGHS ] I'M SO NERVOUS
ABOUT GRADUATION.
494
00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,980
WHAT ARE YOU NERVOUS
ABOUT?
495
00:17:42,982 --> 00:17:45,022
TRIPPING AND FALLING
ON MY FACE.
496
00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:47,784
EVERY YEAR THAT HAPPENS
TO SOME POOR DOOFUS.
497
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,897
DON'T YOU WORRY.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU.
498
00:17:49,899 --> 00:17:51,899
YOU KNOW WHAT, CLAIRE?
I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR.
499
00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,781
FINALLY!
SOMEBODY NOTICES!
500
00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:56,044
NOTICES WHAT?
501
00:17:56,035 --> 00:17:58,405
I'VE BEEN A BLONDE FOR THE
BETTER PART OF A WEEK.
502
00:17:58,408 --> 00:17:59,458
GET OUTTA HERE.
503
00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:00,659
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE,
CLAIRE.
504
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:05,632
WHAT? WILL YOU
LOOK AT THAT?
505
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:08,125
I GUESS I DIDN'T NOTICE BECAUSE
IT HAPPENED SO GRADUALLY.
506
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,878
NOW, WAS THIS
A COSMETIC CHANGE
507
00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:11,549
OR A DESPERATE PLEA
FOR ATTENTION?
508
00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,511
IT WAS A DESPERATE PLEA
FOR ATTENTION
509
00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:14,973
THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WORK.
510
00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:16,314
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY,
CLAIRE.
511
00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:18,096
IN ANOTHER TWO YEARS,
YOU'LL BE GRADUATING,
512
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,767
AND THEN WE'LL BE
IGNORING KADY.
513
00:18:19,769 --> 00:18:21,059
HEY!
514
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,060
Junior: OH, MY GOD.
IT CAME. IT CAME.
515
00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:24,222
WHAT? WHAT?
516
00:18:24,224 --> 00:18:25,284
A LETTER FROM
THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE
517
00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:26,315
AT REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY.
518
00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:27,356
OKAY.
519
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,687
OPEN IT, OPEN IT.
520
00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:31,028
NO, NO, DON'T OPEN IT.
OKAY, OPEN IT.
521
00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:32,110
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
522
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,441
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
523
00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:34,613
I GOTTA DO THE HAPPY DANCE.
524
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,204
♪ YA DA DA-DA,
DA-DA DA ♪
525
00:18:36,196 --> 00:18:38,156
♪ YA DA DA DA DA,
DA-DA DO ♪
526
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,038
♪ YA DE DE DE,
DA DA DA DA DA DA ♪
527
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,620
[ CLUCKS TONGUE ]
528
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,202
GIVE ME THIS.
GIVE IT TO ME.
529
00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,714
I GOTTA KISS IT.
I GOTTA KISS IT.
530
00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:46,705
[ SMOOCHES ]
531
00:18:46,706 --> 00:18:48,166
YEAH, LET ME GET A KISS.
[ SMOOCHING ]
532
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,378
HERE, KISS IT.
THERE YOU GO.
533
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,339
OKAY, OPEN IT.
OPEN IT.
534
00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:54,251
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
AROUND FOR?
535
00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:55,474
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
536
00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:58,425
"DEAR MR. KYLE, I GREATLY
ENJOYED MEETING YOU RECENTLY
537
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,258
"AND WAS IMPRESSED WITH
YOUR PECULIAR LIFE VIEW
538
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,721
"AND YOUR SPECIAL ABILITIES.
539
00:19:02,722 --> 00:19:05,192
"THEREFORE, I WOULD LIKE TO
EXTEND TO YOU
540
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,975
"A PROVISIONAL ACCEPTANCE
TO REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY.
541
00:19:07,977 --> 00:19:10,357
P.S. TELL YOUR FATHER THANK
YOU FOR THE STEAKS."
542
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,400
OH, BABY!
543
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:14,271
I TOLD YOU.
I TOLD YOU HE LIKED STEAK.
544
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:15,874
I KNEW HE LIKED STEAK.
545
00:19:15,865 --> 00:19:18,115
WAIT A MINUTE.
HO, HO, HO, HO.
546
00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:20,157
LET'S NOT
GET ALL WORKED UP.
547
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,699
WHY NOT, BABY?
548
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:24,281
IF I HEARD CORRECTLY, IT SAID
PROVISIONAL ACCEPTANCE.
549
00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,214
ANYTIME THEY SAY
"PROVISIONAL,"
550
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,246
THAT MEANS THEY'RE GONNA
SHOW YOU SOMETHING
551
00:19:28,248 --> 00:19:29,708
THAT YOU REALLY CAN'T HAVE.
552
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,549
YEAH. SO, WHAT ARE
THE PROVISIONS?
553
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:34,051
I HAVE TO COMPLETE TWO
SUMMER-SCHOOL COURSES --
554
00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:35,803
CALCULUS
AND AMERICAN LITERATURE.
555
00:19:35,795 --> 00:19:37,135
WELL, THERE GOES REDDINGTON.
556
00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,006
NO, NO, NO,
THIS IS GOOD NEWS
557
00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:40,928
BECAUSE I LOVE
AMERICAN LITERATURE,
558
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,510
AND I'M PRETTY SURE CALCULUS
WAS A GREAT GLADIATOR.
559
00:19:45,144 --> 00:19:47,234
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL HELP YOU STUDY.
560
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,307
YEAH. WE'LL ALL
HELP YOU STUDY.
561
00:19:49,309 --> 00:19:51,229
YOU KNOW WHAT, SON?
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
562
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,861
THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
563
00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:54,732
THIS IS BETTER THAN GOOD.
THIS IS SENSATIONAL.
564
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:56,374
BECAUSE NOW, WHEN WE GO
AWAY TO COLLEGE,
565
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:58,276
WE CAN MOVE IN TOGETHER,
AND WE CAN GET MARRIED.
566
00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:15,208
Gasp
567
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,014
MICHAEL ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
568
00:20:17,006 --> 00:20:18,256
YEAH, THE SHOCK OF THAT
569
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,798
JUST KNOCKED ME OFF MY SEAT
570
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,680
WHEN DID YOU SAID...
571
00:20:23,303 --> 00:20:26,313
WHAT COLLEGE?
38244
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof