Original subtitles

[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

SEE? IT'S SIMPLE.

NOW YOU TRY IT.

[ DISCORDANT NOTES PLAY ]

♪ DA DA DA ♪

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

OH, HI, MR. AND MRS. KYLE.

ISN'T SHE GREAT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH, SHE'S FANTASTIC. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO?

FRANKLIN IS TEACHING ME HOW TO PLAY BACH.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE -- BACH --

A LITTLE LIKE BLECH AND BLUCH.

YOU GUYS KEEP PRACTICING, AND, FRANKLIN,

YOU KEEP THEM QUICK LITTLE HANDS ON THAT PIANO, OKAY?

YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE WORLD.

COME ON. LET'S LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE.

OKAY, JUST A LITTLE MORE PRACTICE,

AND THEN WE CAN GO ON A ROMANTIC BIKE RIDE.

NO, I STINK.

DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF, ANGEL.

REMEMBER, IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED,

TRY, TRY AGAIN.

I COULDN'T PLAY BACH UNTIL I WAS 2 YEARS OLD.

LET GO!

I HAD IT FIRST!

I REACHED FOR IT FIRST, THEN YOU GRABBED IT!

I'M THE OLDEST!

AND THE MOST DUMB!

IT'S NOT THE MOST DUMB. IT'S "DUMBEST," STUPID.

SAY IT -- "JUNIOR'S THE DUMBEST."

GLADLY -- JUNIOR'S THE DUMBEST.

AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.

ARE YOU GUYS ARGUING OVER THIS LITTLE BIT OF JUICE IN HERE?

HERE. WATCH THIS. LOOK. MMM.

[ GULPING ]

AHH!

PROBLEM SOLVED.

DAD!

YOU WANT IT BACK?

OKAY, IT'LL BE A LITTLE PULPY, MAYBE A LITTLE MINTY.

EW!

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU TWO YELLING.

IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS

OF NOTHING BUT YOU TWO AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS.

WELL, I DIDN'T SAY A WORD UNTIL SHE WAS BORN.

YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU COULDN'T TALK UNTIL YOU WERE 3.

HUH?

THAT WAS YOUR FIRST WORD -- "HUH?"

IF YOU TWO CAN'T FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET ALONG,

I'LL FIND ONE FOR YOU,

AND I GUARANTEE YOU YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT.

WE CAN GET ALONG BY NOT BEING IN THE SAME ROOM,

SO I'M LEAVING.

I'M GONNA GO TO THE GARAGE, WASH YOUR CAR, AND MAKE MY BED.

[ SNIFFS ] OH, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

OH, IT'S TOFURKEY.

THAT'S WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE -- TOES AND TURKEY.

WHAT IN THE HECK IS TOFURKEY?

IT'S TOFU THAT TASTES LIKE TURKEY.

HERE, TRY A PIECE. IT'S GOOD.

UGH.

UGH. YOU'RE SURE THIS ISN'T THE CARDBOARD BOX IT CAME IN?

IT'S A TURKEY SUBSTITUTE. I MADE IT MYSELF.

YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

MAYBE IF I PUT IT ON A BUNLESS BUN WITH CHEESELESS CHEESE

THEN WASH IT DOWN WITH A NEAR BEER,

I COULD APPRECIATE THE TASTELESS TASTE.

WHY ARE YOU EATING THAT, BABY?

OH, BECAUSE I'VE DECIDED TO BECOME A VEGETARIAN.

AND WHAT BROUGHT THAT ON?

TONY.

TONY'S A VEGETARIAN?

YES, BUT HE'S EVEN MORE ADVANCED THAN THAT.

HE'S FASTING NOW. HE HASN'T EATEN FOR 9 DAYS.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO GET CLOSER TO GOD.

IF HE KEEPS ON NOT EATING,

HE'S GONNA BE SHAKING HANDS WITH HIM.

SEE, ALL THESE NEW REALITY SHOWS ARE SO STUPID.

I KNOW. I SAW THIS ONE LAST NIGHT.

AND IT WAS CALLED "TILL DEATH DO US PART."

AND IT WAS, LIKE, ABOUT MARRIED COUPLES

TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER ON SOME ISLAND.

I SAW THAT. IT WAS GOOD.

HEY, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA FOR A REALITY SHOW

CALLED "HAVE A HEART."

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO NEED ORGANS GO ON THERE AND COMPETE,

BUT HERE'S THE TWIST --

YOU NEVER KNOW WHICH ORGAN YOU'RE GONNA GET.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEED A LIVER, YOU MIGHT GET A FOOT.

IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO ON AND GET A BRAIN.

WHO WANTS ANOTHER BRAIN? NOT ME.

I'D GO ON AND TRY TO GET MORE SWEAT GLANDS.

I COULD NEVER MAKE IT ON ONE OF THOSE SHOWS

'CAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING GROSS THAT HAS A FACE.

THAT'S WHY I'M OFFICIALLY A VEGETARIAN.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, CLAIRE.

AND THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME

ON MY JOURNEY TO SPIRITUAL PURIFICATION.

OH, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REALIZE

THAT THE AVERAGE MEAT EATER HAS 10 POUNDS OF PUTRID FLESH

FESTERING IN THEIR COLON.

MM-MMM!

THIS SURE IS GOOD.

CLAIRE, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT

A BIG BITE OF THIS FESTERING IN YOUR COLON?

EW! UGH!

I'M HAPPY WITH MY CELERY.

WHAT? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU

BECAUSE OF THE PARTY GOING ON IN MY MOUTH

FROM THE BEEF, THE BACON, THE BARBECUE,

AND CHEDDAR BURGER WITH PORK SAUCE DANCING ALL AROUND IT.

STOP.

CLAIRE, LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF ME EATING.

[ SMACKS LIPS ]

♪ E-I-E-I-O, THAT'S GOOD ♪

GO AWAY, JUNIOR.

CAN YOU KNOCK IT OFF?

CAN'T YOU BE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR SISTER?

SHE'S TRYING VERY HARD TO LIVE A HEALTHIER LIFE

AND HAVE RESPECT FOR ALL OTHER LIVING THINGS.

I DON'T SAY ANYTHING

ABOUT THE FLOOZY WAY YOUR GIRLFRIEND DRESSES.

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WAY I DRESS?

NOTHING IF YOU LIVE IN SODOM OR GOMORRAH.

[ LAUGHING ]

I MEAN, COME ON, WHAT ARE THOSE --

BABYLONIAN JEANS?

[ SNORTS ]

[ LAUGHING ]

COME ON, MAN. THAT KILLS IN BIBLE CLASS.

NOW I'VE LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT, AND IT WAS IMPORTANT.

OH, YEAH -- YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

OH, SHUT UP.

YOU SHUT UP. I SAID IT FIRST -- YOU SHUT UP.

EVERYBODY, SHUT UP.

IS THERE A TIME OF DAY WHEN YOU GUYS DO NOT ARGUE?

YEAH, WHEN WE'RE ASLEEP.

OH, THAT'S FUNNY -- WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP.

I'M ABOUT TO PUT YOU ALL TO SLEEP IF YOU DON'T STOP IT.

YOU GOT IT?

GOT IT. GOT IT.

OKAY. HELLO, VANESSA. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M GREAT, MR. KYLE. THANK YOU.

AND, TONY, HOW'S THE FAST GOING?

IT'S WONDERFUL.

IT'S BEEN 9 DAYS WITHOUT ANY SOLID FOOD,

AND I FEEL GREAT.

TONY! ARE YOU OKAY?!

MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE HIM OUTSIDE AND GET HIM SOME FRESH AIR.

YEAH, GOOD IDEA.

HONEY, OUR CHILD HAS A REQUEST.

REALLY? WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, PUMPKIN HEAD?

DADDY, WILL YOU TAKE THE TRAINING WHEELS OFF MY BIKE?

WHOA, THAT'S A BIG STEP. YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THAT?

WELL, FRANKLIN RIDES A TWO-WHEELER,

AND IF I WANT TO KEEP UP WITH HIM,

THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO.

I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD MY TRAINING WHEELS TAKEN OFF.

IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. I FELT LIBERATED.

I FELT LIKE THAT WHEN I FIRST TOOK OFF YOUR TRAINING BRA --

GOOD TIMES, LITTLE STUFF.

SHUT UP!

WILL YOU TEACH ME HOW TO RIDE WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS, DADDY?

YEP, I SURE WILL. YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT MAN.

I'M GONNA TEACH YOU JUST LIKE MY FATHER TAUGHT ME.

ALL RIGHT, SWEETIE, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN, ALL RIGHT?

I'M JUST GONNA GET YOU STARTED, THEN I'M GONNA LET YOU GO.

DON'T WORRY. DADDY'S GONNA BE BEHIND YOU THE WHOLE TIME.

SO IF YOU START TO LOSE YOUR BALANCE, DON'T WORRY.

I'M GONNA CATCH YOU, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, I WANT YOU TO RIDE

DOWN TO THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY, OKAY?

AND I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU, OKAY?

LET'S FIX THIS UP.

AAH!

GOOD. OKAY. GO.

GO.

YES, YES!

BABY, WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING AFTER HER, BABE?

WELL, THAT'S THE SAME WAY MY FATHER TAUGHT ME.

LOOK AT HER GO. YOU'RE DOING GOOD, BABY.

GOOD JOB.

YEAH. OKAY, NOW TURN AWAY FROM THOSE TRASH CANS.

NO, YOU WANT TO TURN THE OTHER WAY -- THE OTHER WAY.

[ CRASHING ]

OW!

YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN MY FATHER --

KADY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S JUST A LITTLE GARBAGE.

GARBAGE CAN'T HURT YOU. GARBAGE IS YOUR FRIEND.

COME ON BACK.

NOW, YOU JUST FELL OFF THE HORSE.

NOW IT'S TIME TO GET BACK ON IT, AND GIDDAP-Y, GIDDAP-Y!

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN?

UH...

[ HORN HONKING ]

NO.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

Claire: YOU TOOK WHAT WAS MINE! Junior: I DID NOT!

YES, YOU DID! I FOUND IT! NO, YOU DIDN'T!

NO, HE DIDN'T! I SAW THE WHOLE THING.

I SAW IT, TOO, AND I SAY HE DID.

HEY! HEY! HEY!

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR ARGUING IS DOING?

YOUR DRIVING ME CRAZY.

I'M SORRY, BUT THIS TIME JUNIOR'S GONE TOO FAR!

I FOUND A WALLET WITH $500, AND HE TOOK IT FROM ME!

THAT IS SUCH A LIE!

I FOUND THE WALLET, AND I'M KEEPING IT!

NEITHER ONE OF YOU SHOULD KEEP IT.

YOU SHOULD JUST GIVE IT BACK TO WHOEVER OWNS IT.

WE WOULD HAVE, BUT THERE'S NO I.D.

OKAY. I'LL HELP YOU OUT.

THEN I'LL TAKE IT.

THAT'S NOT FAIR!

YOU WANT FAIR? WE'LL HAVE FAMILY COURT.

OH, NO, NOT FAMILY COURT.

NEVER MIND, DAD.

IT'S TOO LATE. WE'RE GONNA HAVE FAMILY COURT.

I'M GONNA BE THE JUDGE.

YOU GUYS GO GATHER YOUR EVIDENCE AND YOUR WITNESSES.

COURT WILL CONVENE AT 1700 HOURS.

1700 HOURS? THAT'S A MONTH AWAY!

THAT'S 5:00 MILITARY TIME, JUNIOR.

OH. WELL, I CAN'T AFFORD A LAWYER. YOU TOOK THE MONEY.

WELL, SINCE YOU CANNOT AFFORD A LAWYER,

A LAWYER WILL BE APPOINTED TO YOU BY THE COURT.

CLAIRE, YOUR MOTHER WILL REPRESENT YOU.

JUNIOR, KADY WILL REPRESENT YOU.

KADY? SHE CAN'T EVEN READ.

WE'LL THROW IN FRANKLIN. NOW YOU HAVE TWO LAWYERS.

OH, GREAT. I'M JUST AS GOOD AS DEAD.

THERE, THERE, MY GOOD MAN.

I JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE VERY WELL-VERSED IN FAMILY LAW.

I MOVE FOR A CHANGE OF VENUE.

ON WHAT GROUNDS?

MY CLIENT CAN'T GET A FAIR TRIAL HERE.

HE LIVES HERE.

TECHNICALLY, HE LIVES OUT IN THAT GARAGE,

SO MOTION IS DENIED.

OBJECTION! OVERRULED.

I WANT THE RECORD S-- STAND DOWN, COUNSELOR.

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

I SAID STAND DOWN.

YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!

YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER.

THIS WHOLE COURT'S OUT OF ORDER!

YOU ARE TWO SECONDS FROM BEING HELD IN CONTEMPT.

FINE! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT.

HE'S GOOD. HE'S GOOD.

HE'S REALLY GOOD.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

GO AWAY, DAD.

KADY, IT'S ME.

OH, HI, FRANKLIN.

HERE.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE SOME BUTTERSCOTCH SUNDAE.

WHENEVER I'M FEELING DOWN, THEY ALWAYS CHEER ME UP.

THANK YOU.

I THINK I HAVE A SOLUTION TO THE BICYCLE SITUATION.

SO DO I.

I'M NEVER GETTING ON IT AGAIN,

AND I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TRUST MY FATHER.

NOW, NOW, MY PETIT FLEUR...

HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO TEACH YOU THE WAY HE WAS TAUGHT.

WELL, IT'S STUPID.

I KNOW, BUT HE CAN'T HELP HIS IGNORANT WAYS.

I'M SURE HIS FATHER WAS AN IDIOT JUST LIKE HIM.

WELL, I'M STILL NOT GETTING ON THAT STUPID BIKE.

IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

IF I CAN GET YOUR DAD'S PERMISSION TO TEACH YOU,

I'LL HAVE YOU RIDING THAT TWO-WHEELER IN NO TIME.

REALLY? HOW?

SIMPLE...WITH LOVE.

ALL RIGHT, FRANKLIN.

YOU'RE SURE THIS IS GONNA WORK?

JUST TRUST ME, MR. KYLE.

OKAY. I TRUST YOU.

OKAY, KADY! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

JUST GET ON THAT BIKE AND RIDE TO ME!

Kady: I'LL TRY!

THERE'S NO TRY! IT'S DO OR DO NOT!

THAT'S YODA.

YEAH.

YOU KINDA LOOK LIKE HIM, HIM AND THAT OTHER LITTLE THING

FROM "THE LORD OF THE RINGS."

IT'S CALLED A HOBBIT.

OH, A HOBBIT? LIKE SMOKING?

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT, MR. KYLE.

OKAY, KADY! FOCUS!

JUST LOCK ONTO MY EYES, AND RIDE TO ME!

RIDE TO ME!

I'M DOING IT! I'M DOING IT!

YES, YOU ARE!

FLY TO ME, MY LITTLE SONGBIRD!

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT!

OKAY, NOW PUT ON THE BRAKES.

THE WHAT?! THE BRAKES!

THE BRAAAAAA--

AAAAAH!

FRANKLIN, ARE YOU OKAY?!

ISN'T SHE GREAT?

HEY, FRANKLIN, I GUESS YOU GOT A LITTLE RUN DOWN THERE.

NO, JUST "TIRED."

NOW, THAT'S FUNNY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Michael: ALL RISE!

THE HONORABLE --

AND VERY HANDSOME --

JUDGE MICHAEL KYLE PRESIDING.

YOU MAY BE SEATED.

NOW, LET IT BE SAID AND DULY RECORDED

THAT WHILE THIS IS NOT SUPREME COURT,

ALL RULINGS IN THIS COURT SHALL BE AS BINDING

AS ROQUEFORT, GOUDA, AND LIMBURGER CHEESE.

IN OTHER WORDS, WHAT I SAY GOES.

LET'S HEAR OPENING STATEMENTS.

YOUR HONOR?

YES, BEAUTIFUL? [ CHUCKLES ]

I OBJECT!

OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE OPPOSING COUNSEL.

OVERRULED.

IT'S OKAY. HE LOVES ME, TOO.

SO DO I, BEAUTIFUL.

CONTINUE.

THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.

YOUR HONOR, I WILL SHOW THAT MY CLIENT, CLAIRE KYLE,

IS ENTITLED TO THE MONEY IN THE WALLET FOUND BY THAT MAN!

LET THE RECORD SHOW SHE'S POINTING TO

THE MAN WITH THE GIGANTIC HEAD.

I OBJECT!

ARE YOU SAYING THAT THAT HEAD

IS NOT UNUSUALLY LARGE AND OBLONG AND JUST...UNNATURAL?

WITHDRAWN.

THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.

HE TOOK SAID WALLET AND KEPT THE MONEY FOR HIMSELF.

YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO CALL TO THE STAND MY FIRST WITNESS,

HONEST TONY JEFFERS.

YOUR HONOR, CALLING HIM HONEST IS PREJUDICIAL.

UH, NO, REALLY. TONY'S JUST MY MIDDLE NAME.

MY FULL CHRISTIAN NAME IS HONEST TONY JEFFERS.

I CAN SHOW YOU MY DRIVER'S LI--

THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY, HONEST.

PLEASE, TELL THE COURT WHAT YOU SAW, HONEST.

I SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL, CLAIRE KYLE,

FIND THE WALLET IN THE STREET...

THAT WAS LATER SNATCHED UP BY THAT MAN!

LET THE RECORD SHOW --

YES, THAT I HAVE AN OBLONG, UNUSUALLY LARGE,

AND JUST PLAIN OL' UNNATURAL HEAD.

I HAVE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. YOU MAY STEP DOWN, HONEST.

THANK YOU.

YOUR TURN, COUNSELOR.

OUR DEFENSE IS SIMPLE --

FINDERS KEEPERS...

LOSERS WEEPERS.

I REST MY CASE.

ISN'T SHE GREAT?

[ GIGGLES ]

OKAY, COUNSELOR, DO YOU CALL ANY WITNESSES?

YES. I WOULD LIKE TO QUESTION HONEST TONY JEFFERS.

SO, YOU'RE AN HONEST MAN. IS THAT RIGHT, HONEST?

HONESTLY?

YES.

NOW, AS I RECALL,

YOU SAID YOU SAW CLAIRE FIND THE WALLET.

YES.

NOW, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT WHEN, AT THE TIME,

YOU WERE ACTUALLY PASSED OUT IN THE GUTTER?

WELL, WHEN I WAS FALLING, UM, I SAW IT --

AND ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU HAVEN'T HAD

ANY SOLID FOODS IN NINE DAYS, AND YOU'RE HALLUCINATING?

NO, THEY'RE VISIONS --

AND ISN'T IT ALSO TRUE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE PLAINTIFF,

THE SECOND MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THIS FAMILY?

WELL, YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S TRUE,

I HAVE CERTAIN AFFECTIONS FOR HER.

IT SEEMS YOU'RE NOT BEING VERY HONEST WITH US, HONEST.

I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

IT WASN'T LIKE THAT, ALL RIGHT?!

HE'S PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND MAKING ME ALL CONFUSED!

LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING WHAT SHE TOLD ME TO SAY!

TONY!

LOOK, I'M SORRY, CLAIRE,

AND I'M SORRY, MRS. KYLE.

I'M SORRY, MR. KYLE.

I'M JUST SO HUNGRY.

OUR DEFENSE RESTS.

ISN'T HE GREAT?

ALL RIGHT, I'VE HEARD ENOUGH. I'M READY TO RULE.

IT SEEMS THAT CLAIRE SPOTTED A WALLET WHICH JUNIOR PICKED UP,

WHICH MEANS YOU ACTED AS A TEAM,

WHICH YOU SHOULD DO MORE OFTEN,

BECAUSE IT SERVES YOU WELL.

JUDGMENT IS 50/50 FOR BOTH PARTIES.

YAY!

HOWEVER...THERE ARE EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

YOU TWO WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUND THAT MONEY HAD IT NOT BEEN

FOR VANESSA AND TONY.

YOU WOULD'VE BEEN IN YOUR ROOM

INSTEAD OF OUTSIDE WHERE THE WALLET WAS,

SO THEY, TOO, HAVE A CLAIM.

HALLELUJAH!

HOW...EVER...

THERE ARE FURTHER EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

YOU TWO WERE BOTH REPRESENTED BY FINE --

I MEAN FINE -- COUNSEL,

SO THEY, TOO, HAVE AN EQUAL CLAIM.

THAT'S RIGHT, BABY! THAT'S US! WE DID A GOOD JOB!

HOW...EVER...

SINCE I HAD TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS CRAP,

MY FEE IS EXACTLY $500,

WHICH MEANS NO ONE GETS ANYTHING, EXCEPT ME.

COME ON, DAD! THAT'S NOT FAIR! COME ON!

HOWEVER...

I AM WILLING TO TAKE ALL PARTIES INVOLVED IN THIS MATTER

OUT TO A VERY NICE DINNER, ESPECIALLY TONY,

WHO LOOKS LIKE HE COULD USE SOMETHING...

TO EAT RIGHT NOW.

CASE CLOSED.

I LIKE THAT.

YOU DID A GOOD JOB, YOUR HONOR.

I THINK THAT SENTENCE WAS VERY FAIR.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'D LIKE YOU TO REPORT TO MY CHAMBERS

FOR SOME DICTATION I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE.

OH, YEAH? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

I HAVE SOME LEGAL BRIEFS I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO GO THROUGH, TOO.

MMM.

[ PIANO PLAYS ]

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE?

LET'S GO SEE, SHALL WE.

[ Off-key ] ♪ TO LIVE ♪

♪ WHITE LACE AND PROMISES ♪

♪ A KISS FOR LUCK, AND WE'RE ON ♪

♪ OUR WAY ♪

OH, THAT WAS FANTASTIC. THAT WAS REALLY GOOD, BABY!

FRANKLIN AND I DECIDED WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED.

KADY, I WANT TO ASK YOUR DAD'S PERMISSION!

GO AHEAD. WHO'S STOPPING YOU?

MR. KYLE, MAY I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE?

YEP, BUT ONLY UP TO HERE.

YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST GUY ALIVE.

LISTEN, FRANKLIN, IT'S A BAD IDEA.

HOW WOULD YOU GUYS SUPPORT YOURSELVES?

HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF IKE AND TINA,

ASHFORD AND SIMPSON, AND WHITNEY AND BOBBY?

MUSIC WILL SUPPORT US, RIGHT, KADY?

RIGHT, FRANKLIN.

HIT IT, FRANKLIN.

[ INTRODUCTION TO "PROUD MARY" PLAYS ]

♪ LEFT A GOOD JOB IN THE CITY ♪

♪ WORKING FOR THE MAN EVERY NIGHT AND DAY ♪

♪ AND I NEVER LOST ONE MINUTE OF SLEEPING ♪

♪ WORRIED ABOUT THE WAY THINGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN ♪

♪ BIG WHEELS KEEP ON TURNIN' ♪

♪ KEEP TURNIN' ♪

♪ PROUD MARY KEEP ON BURNIN' ♪

♪ BURNIN' AND BURNIN' ♪

♪ AND WE'RE ROLLIN' ♪

WHOO!

♪ ROLLIN' ♪

WHOO!

♪ ROLLIN' ON THE RIVER ♪

♪ AND WE'RE ROLLIN' ♪

♪ ROLLIN' ♪

♪ ROLLIN' ♪ ♪ ROLLIN' ♪

♪ WE ROLLIN' ON THE RIVER ♪

WATCH MOMMY.

[ LAUGHING ] AHH!

WE ROLLIN'!

LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT'S SHE'S POINTING TO THE MAN

WITH THE GIGANTIC HEAD.

I OBJECT!

ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF THAT DOME

IS NOT -- [ LAUGHS ]

HA HA HA!

TONY! ARE YOU OKAY?!

TONY? HERE, HERE. HERE YOU GO.

HERE, SMELL THAT. SMELL THAT.

NO! I CAN'T EAT!

EW!

WHAT IS THAT?

[ LAUGHING ]

NO! I CAN'T EAT! I'M FASTING! [ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHING ]

HERE.

[ LAUGHING ]