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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,922 --> 00:00:03,792 OH, THAT'S GREAT! 2 00:00:03,794 --> 00:00:06,224 ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS? 3 00:00:06,217 --> 00:00:08,677 OH, WELL, WE WISH WE COULD HAVE YOU LONGER. 4 00:00:08,679 --> 00:00:09,839 [ LAUGHS ] 5 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,340 OH, OKAY. 6 00:00:11,342 --> 00:00:13,222 ALL RIGHT. WELL, I'LL SEE YOU THEN, SIS. 7 00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,604 OKAY. 8 00:00:14,595 --> 00:00:16,805 OH, MY GOD. WE HAVE A CRISIS. 9 00:00:18,099 --> 00:00:19,769 U.F.M. -- 10 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,640 "UNINVITED FAMILY MEMBER" COMING OVER -- AUNT KELLY. 11 00:00:21,642 --> 00:00:23,142 OH, NO. 12 00:00:23,144 --> 00:00:25,074 I REMEMBER THE LAST TIME AUNT KELLY CAME OVER. 13 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,646 SHE AND MOM ALMOST GOT INTO A FISTFIGHT. 14 00:00:26,647 --> 00:00:28,857 DOES MOM KNOW SHE'S COMING? NOPE, NOT YET. 15 00:00:28,859 --> 00:00:30,529 OH, GOOD. WE GOT TO KEEP HER FROM FINDING OUT. 16 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,151 AND HOW DO YOU PROPOSE WE DO THAT? 17 00:00:32,153 --> 00:00:34,623 WE COULD GIVE HER A POISON APPLE. 18 00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:37,115 IT'D PUT HER TO SLEEP JUST LIKE THAT. 19 00:00:37,118 --> 00:00:40,158 YOU KNOW, THAT WOULD BE GREAT IF YOUR MOTHER WAS A CARTOON. 20 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,662 I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. 21 00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:45,224 ABOUT THIS OR IN GENERAL? 22 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,716 WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M STUPID? IN GENERAL. 23 00:00:52,223 --> 00:00:55,943 LOOK, I-I GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TELL HER. 24 00:00:55,936 --> 00:00:57,436 CLAIRE, GO TELL YOUR MOTHER. 25 00:00:57,438 --> 00:00:59,228 DO I LOOK STUPID? YOU'RE RIGHT. 26 00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:01,140 JUNIOR, GO TELL YOUR MOTHER. 27 00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:02,442 SURE, DAD, I -- HEY! 28 00:01:02,443 --> 00:01:04,743 HEY, HEY, YOU MARRIED HER. YOU TELL HER. 29 00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:06,525 OKAY, I WILL. 30 00:01:06,527 --> 00:01:08,607 BUT I NEED YOU GUYS TO HELP ME OUT, OKAY? 31 00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:10,989 WE CANNOT HAVE A REPEAT OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST VISIT. 32 00:01:10,991 --> 00:01:12,491 SO, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 33 00:01:12,493 --> 00:01:13,863 POISON APPLE? 34 00:01:15,996 --> 00:01:17,996 ENOUGH WITH THE POISON APPLE. 35 00:01:17,998 --> 00:01:19,458 OKAY? 36 00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:23,000 LOOK, I NEED YOU GUYS, WHEN THEY START TO ARGUE, 37 00:01:23,003 --> 00:01:26,013 TO JUST DISTRACT THEM ANY WAY YOU CAN. 38 00:01:26,006 --> 00:01:27,466 [ LAUGHING ] 39 00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:33,921 [ LAUGHING CONTINUES ] 40 00:01:33,924 --> 00:01:35,724 HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 41 00:01:35,716 --> 00:01:38,556 WHAT? I'M PRACTICING. THAT'S PRETTY DISTRACTING, HUH? 42 00:01:38,559 --> 00:01:40,849 YEAH, AND PRETTY DISTURBING, TOO, BUT KEEP IT. 43 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,221 I LIKE IT. OKAY. 44 00:01:42,223 --> 00:01:44,283 KADY, CAN YOU STILL THROW UP ON CUE? 45 00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:45,605 SURE. WATCH. 46 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,146 NO, NO, SAVE IT. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 47 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,108 SAVE IT. 48 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,609 AND YOU... 49 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,531 WHENEVER THEY START TO GET TENSE, ALL RIGHT, 50 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:55,293 THE TENSION BUILDS, I WANT YOU TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 51 00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:57,406 DON'T YOU THINK I GET PRETTIER EVERY DAY? 52 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,998 HEY, YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS. 53 00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:00,539 GOOD AT WHAT? 54 00:02:05,206 --> 00:02:06,796 ♪ DO-DO DO ♪ 55 00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:09,087 ♪ LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR MY FAVORITE GIRL ♪ 56 00:02:09,089 --> 00:02:10,959 BABY, IS THAT A BANANA SPLIT? 57 00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:12,011 [ GASPS ] 58 00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:13,172 OH! 59 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,604 OH! 60 00:02:14,595 --> 00:02:16,515 OH! OH! 61 00:02:16,517 --> 00:02:19,347 WITH CHOCOLATE MOCHA ICE CREAM, STRAWBERRIES, 62 00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:20,640 AND PISTACHIO NUTS! 63 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,521 WITH BUTTERSCOTCH IN THE MIDDLE. 64 00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:24,613 BABY, YOU PUT BUTTERSCOTCH ON THIS? 65 00:02:24,605 --> 00:02:25,725 YES, I DID. 66 00:02:25,726 --> 00:02:27,476 MM, YOU MADE ME A HAPPY WOMAN! 67 00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:29,108 YOU'RE HAPPY? 68 00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:30,479 YEP! YUMMY! 69 00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:32,271 GOOD, BECAUSE KELLY'S COMING TO VISIT. 70 00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:33,823 I'M NOT HUNGRY. 71 00:02:33,824 --> 00:02:35,954 JAY, COME ON. DON'T BE LIKE THAT. 72 00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:37,536 NO! 73 00:02:37,538 --> 00:02:39,198 COME ON, I THOUGHT MY NOOKUM LIKED THE BUTTERSCOTCH. 74 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,200 TASTE THIS BUTTERSCOTCH. 75 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:41,831 TASTE THE BUTTERSCOTCH. 76 00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:43,492 TASTE THE BUTTERSCOTCH! 77 00:02:43,494 --> 00:02:46,384 MICHAEL, ALL THE BABY TALK AND THE BUTTERSCOTCH IN THE WORLD 78 00:02:46,377 --> 00:02:48,747 ISN'T GONNA MAKE ME LIKE YOUR SISTER ANY MORE. 79 00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:51,709 COME ON, JAY. IT'S ONLY A COUPLE OF NIGHTS. 80 00:02:51,712 --> 00:02:53,252 A COUPLE OF NIGHTS? OKAY. 81 00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:54,974 THEN I'LL BE LEAVING FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHTS. 82 00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:57,175 GOOD! I'LL BOOK YOU AT THE RESIDENCE INN. 83 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,557 NO! WHY SHOULD I LEAVE MY OWN HOUSE?! 84 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,220 GO LET HER FIND A HOTEL! 85 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,302 JAY, IT'S ONLY A COUPLE OF NIGHTS. 86 00:03:03,304 --> 00:03:05,024 WHAT ARE YOU TRIPPING ABOUT? 87 00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:07,105 REMEMBER THE LAST TIME SHE SAID SHE WAS ONLY GONNA BE STAYING 88 00:03:07,107 --> 00:03:08,267 FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHTS? 89 00:03:08,269 --> 00:03:10,069 IT WAS FOURTH OF JULY AND CHRISTMAS. 90 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:11,980 THE PROBLEM IS SHE DIDN'T LEAVE IN BETWEEN. 91 00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:14,322 YEAH, OKAY, SHE OVERSTAYS HER WELCOME SOMETIMES. 92 00:03:14,315 --> 00:03:16,485 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'S GOT GOOD TRAITS. 93 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:18,157 NAME ONE. 94 00:03:18,158 --> 00:03:20,908 SHE'S A GOOD COOK, AND SHE KEEPS YOU OUT OF THAT KITCHEN. 95 00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:22,491 THAT'S BECAUSE SHE LIKES TO RUB 96 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,633 ALL THOSE SECRET INGREDIENTS IN MY FACE -- 97 00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:26,745 SECRET SAUCE, SECRET SPICES, SECRET WATER. 98 00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:28,707 HOW DO YOU GET SECRET WATER, MICHAEL? 99 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,289 OH, THAT'S EASY. 100 00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:31,831 YOU JUST BOIL IT, AND YOU PUT A COUPLE OF DRO-- 101 00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:33,462 I CAN'T TELL YOU. IT'S A SECRET. 102 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:34,934 COME ON, JAY. 103 00:03:34,925 --> 00:03:36,425 YEAH, SHE'S A LITTLE ANNOYING. 104 00:03:36,427 --> 00:03:37,887 A LITTLE ANNOYING? 105 00:03:37,888 --> 00:03:39,508 NO, MICAHEL, SHE'S MORE THAN ANNOYING! 106 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,140 SHE'S A SARCASTIC, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE TROUBLEMAKER, 107 00:03:41,141 --> 00:03:43,011 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DON'T LIKE? 108 00:03:43,013 --> 00:03:45,313 BRINGING UP THAT SHARON! ALWAYS BRINGING UP THAT SHARON! 109 00:03:45,306 --> 00:03:46,346 WHO'S SHARON? 110 00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:48,017 YOU KNOW WHO SHARON IS -- 111 00:03:48,018 --> 00:03:49,188 YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND. 112 00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:50,979 OH, THAT SHARON. 113 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:54,151 YEAH, YEAH. BOY, I FORGOT THE NAME. 114 00:03:54,154 --> 00:03:56,034 I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE -- 115 00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:59,906 SINCE THE LAST TIME YOUR SISTER BROUGHT HER UP IN HERE. 116 00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,820 YEAH, THAT WAS THE LAST TIME. 117 00:04:01,822 --> 00:04:03,122 SHE LOOKED HORRIBLE. 118 00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:04,123 SHE LOOKED GREAT. 119 00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:05,464 YOU KNOW WHAT, MICHAEL? 120 00:04:05,456 --> 00:04:06,826 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, 121 00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:09,037 BUT ME AND YOUR SISTER DO NOT GET ALONG. 122 00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:10,289 IT'S NOT ME! IT'S HER! 123 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:11,711 YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NOT YOU. 124 00:04:11,712 --> 00:04:12,792 THANK YOU. IT'S HER. 125 00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:14,083 IT IS HER! IT'S HER. 126 00:04:14,084 --> 00:04:16,014 BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY? WHY? 127 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,466 SHE'S A SARCASTIC, 128 00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:19,508 PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER. 129 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,010 NOW YOU'RE IN MY HEAD. 130 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,221 RIGHT HERE, BABY. 131 00:04:22,222 --> 00:04:23,472 THANK YOU. 132 00:04:23,474 --> 00:04:25,484 YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING IT. OKAY. 133 00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:27,976 SO, NOW WHAT I NEED FROM YOU 134 00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:30,848 IS FOR YOU TO BE THE BETTER PERSON, THAT'S ALL! 135 00:04:30,851 --> 00:04:32,891 BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT SHE IS -- 136 00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:36,663 PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, SARCASTIC, TROUBLEMAKIN'. 137 00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:39,277 BUT YOU ARE A BIGGER PERSON. 138 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,569 OKAY. 139 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,491 HMM? CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME? 140 00:04:42,493 --> 00:04:43,823 YES, I'LL TRY. 141 00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:46,004 BUT, BABY, THE MINUTE THAT KELLY STARTS IT, 142 00:04:45,996 --> 00:04:47,326 OH, I'M GONNA FINISH IT. 143 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,328 I RESPECT THAT. THANK YOU. 144 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,000 ARE YOU GONNA FINISH THIS, BABE? 145 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:54,251 HELL, YEAH. 146 00:05:01,682 --> 00:05:03,132 HEY! 147 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:05,023 HA HA! BRO-BRO! 148 00:05:05,015 --> 00:05:06,765 [ SQUEALS ] 149 00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:09,267 [ Screeching ] I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU! 150 00:05:09,269 --> 00:05:11,559 [ COUGHING ] 151 00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:12,892 AUNT KELLY! 152 00:05:12,893 --> 00:05:13,353 HEY, KIDS! 153 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,364 WOULD YOU LOOK AT YOU ALL, 154 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:18,066 GROWN UP SO HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL! 155 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,398 SHOOT! YOU ALL GOT KYLE WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU. 156 00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:22,571 I GUESS I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, HUH? 157 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,833 BUT YOU SURE GOT YOUR MAMA'S HAIR, BOY. 158 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,825 UH, KELLY! HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 159 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,327 JAY, I DIDN'T SEE YOU STANDING THERE. 160 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,249 YOU ALWAYS WERE A SNEAKY ONE. HI, GIRL. 161 00:05:32,252 --> 00:05:34,722 Hey, remember the bigger person? 162 00:05:34,715 --> 00:05:36,125 I'm bigger! 163 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:38,046 UH, KELLY, SO HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT? 164 00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:40,458 WELL, THE BEST PART ABOUT IT IS IT'S OVER, 165 00:05:40,461 --> 00:05:44,131 AND I GET TO SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY...AND YOU. 166 00:05:44,134 --> 00:05:45,644 WELL, IT'S ALWAYS GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE. 167 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,056 WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING? 168 00:05:47,057 --> 00:05:49,387 UNFORTUNATELY IN JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS. 169 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,100 AW, ONLY 48 HOURS? DARN! 170 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,232 BUT... 171 00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:56,363 HA HA! I BROUGHT PRESENTS! 172 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,646 YAY! YAY! 173 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:58,858 Stop it. 174 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,319 ALL RIGHT, FOR MY FAVORITE NEPHEW. 175 00:06:01,321 --> 00:06:03,281 TA-DA! 176 00:06:03,283 --> 00:06:05,413 TOILET WATER? 177 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,696 NO, NO, NO. 178 00:06:06,697 --> 00:06:08,657 IT'S EAU DE TOILETTE. 179 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,579 IT'S AN EXPENSIVE FRENCH COLOGNE. 180 00:06:10,581 --> 00:06:12,201 OH, FRENCH! 181 00:06:12,202 --> 00:06:13,452 GRACIAS. 182 00:06:15,546 --> 00:06:17,126 I WANT TO BE NEXT! 183 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,457 OKAY. NOW I WAS GONNA GET YOU ANOTHER MUSIC BOX, 184 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:22,590 BUT I REMEMBERED THAT THE LAST ONE MADE SO MUCH NOISE 185 00:06:22,593 --> 00:06:24,893 THAT IT DROVE YOUR MAMA CRAZY. YES, IT DID. 186 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:29,805 SO, INSTEAD...I GOT YOU THIS FABULOUS COWBELL! 187 00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:32,390 PLAY SOMETHING FOR ME, BABY. 188 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,932 [ BELL CLANGING ] OH, THAT'S IT! 189 00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:36,024 WORK IT OUT! COME ON, GET LOUDER! 190 00:06:36,016 --> 00:06:37,316 COME ON, GIRL! YEAH! 191 00:06:37,317 --> 00:06:38,897 [ CLANGING CONTINUES ] ALL RIGHT! 192 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,729 GO ON, GIRL! THAT'S HOW SHEILA E. GOT STARTED. OW! 193 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,321 HEY, DID YOU GET JAY ANYTHING? 194 00:06:42,322 --> 00:06:44,532 UH, YOU KNOW, I DON'T NEED ANY GIFTS. 195 00:06:44,525 --> 00:06:46,485 YOUR BEING HERE, KELLY, IS MORE THAN ENOUGH. 196 00:06:46,487 --> 00:06:48,697 OF COURSE I BROUGHT A GIFT FOR JAY. 197 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,869 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. I DID. 198 00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:53,241 THEY WERE ON SALE, HONEY, 2-FOR-1 199 00:06:53,243 --> 00:06:57,423 ONE FOR YOU, BABY GIRL, AND ONE FOR YOU. 200 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,127 [ GASPS ] BABY TEES! 201 00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,880 THIS IS VERY SWEET, KELLY, 202 00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:04,382 BUT I DON'T THINK A WOMAN MY AGE COULD REALLY PULL THIS OFF. 203 00:07:04,384 --> 00:07:06,764 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT. RIGHT. 204 00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:08,467 MICHAEL... 205 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:11,049 COULD YOU HANG THIS UP FOR YOUR SISTER? 206 00:07:11,051 --> 00:07:13,471 YEAH, THAT'S A NICE SHIRT. THANK YOU. 207 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:17,364 IT'LL MAKE A NICE LITTLE POCKET -- 208 00:07:17,357 --> 00:07:19,147 JAY. YES, HONEY? 209 00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:20,439 I LOVE THAT OUTFIT. 210 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,060 OH, WELL, THANK YOU. 211 00:07:22,062 --> 00:07:24,952 REMIND ME... I HAVE TO GET ONE FOR MOM. 212 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,195 YOU KNOW WHAT? 213 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,526 HEY, DON'T I LOOK BEAUTIFUL? 214 00:07:27,528 --> 00:07:28,988 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CLAIRE? 215 00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:30,529 [ LAUGHING ] 216 00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:35,995 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! 217 00:07:35,996 --> 00:07:38,536 I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON MY POT ROAST. 218 00:07:38,539 --> 00:07:40,339 YOU STILL TRYING TO COOK? 219 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,040 YES. 220 00:07:42,042 --> 00:07:43,712 HEY, LOOK, GUYS. 221 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,764 WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO GET CLEANED UP FOR DINNER? GO AHEAD. 222 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,426 [ CLANGING ] 223 00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:49,757 THAT'S IT! 224 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,260 SIT ON DOWN. 225 00:07:51,261 --> 00:07:53,431 HEY, KEL, COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? WHAT? 226 00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:56,443 I NEED YOU TO TRY TO GET ALONG WITH JAY WHILE YOU'RE HERE. 227 00:07:56,436 --> 00:07:58,896 [ SCOFFS ] MICHAEL, IT'S NOT ME. IT'S HER. 228 00:07:58,899 --> 00:08:01,689 I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S HER. 229 00:08:01,692 --> 00:08:03,402 YOU KNOW WHAT I FIGURED OUT? 230 00:08:03,403 --> 00:08:04,823 THAT SHE'S A SARCASTIC, 231 00:08:04,815 --> 00:08:06,315 PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER. 232 00:08:06,316 --> 00:08:08,526 NOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 233 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,369 YEAH. SEE, ME AND YOU, WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE. 234 00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:12,660 WE KNOW THAT. 235 00:08:12,663 --> 00:08:14,373 SO I NEED YOU TO TRY TO GET ALONG WITH HER. 236 00:08:14,374 --> 00:08:15,714 BE THE BIGGER PERSON. 237 00:08:15,706 --> 00:08:17,376 I'LL TRY. 238 00:08:17,377 --> 00:08:19,917 BUT THE MINUTE THAT JAY STARTS IT... 239 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,420 Y-YOU'RE GONNA FINISH IT. 240 00:08:21,421 --> 00:08:22,881 GOT THAT RIGHT. 241 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:31,257 WHO WANTS A PLATE OF MAMA KYLE'S HOMEMADE WAFFLES? 242 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,471 MMM! MMM! MMM! 243 00:08:32,472 --> 00:08:34,012 YEAH! 244 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,444 YOU KNOW, THIS IS INTERESTING. 245 00:08:35,435 --> 00:08:36,845 YOU GUYS AREN'T THIS ENTHUSIASTIC 246 00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:38,477 WHEN I MAKE WAFFLES. 247 00:08:38,478 --> 00:08:40,728 THAT'S BECAUSE MY WAFFLES HAVE THE SECRET INGREDIENT. 248 00:08:40,731 --> 00:08:42,481 HERE WE GO. 249 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,272 I KNOW WHAT IT IS! 250 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,784 WHAT IS IT? 251 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:50,316 I CAN'T TELL YOU. YOU HAVE TO BE BLOOD. 252 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,410 HEY, YOU KNOW WHERE I'VE NEVER BEEN? 253 00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:54,282 CANADA -- NEVER BEEN TO CANADA. 254 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,044 A GROWN MAN LIKE ME NEVER VISITED THE NEIGHBOR UP NORTH. 255 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,327 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE NEVER SEEN A MOUNTIE. 256 00:08:59,329 --> 00:09:02,209 I'VE NEVER KILLED A MOOSE. I'VE NEVER EVEN SAID, "EH?" 257 00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:03,582 [ LAUGHTER ] 258 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,054 DAD, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GREAT ABOUT CANADA? 259 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,465 WHAT SON? CANADIAN BACON. 260 00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:07,876 YES! 261 00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:09,428 YOU KNOW WHAT GOES GREAT WITH CANADIAN BACON? 262 00:09:09,429 --> 00:09:11,049 NO. TELL ME, SON. 263 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,341 AUNT KELLY'S WAFFLES WITH THE SECRET INGREDIENT! 264 00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:14,382 OW! 265 00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:17,394 ENJOY YOUR WAFFLES TODAY, BECAUSE UNFORTUNATELY, 266 00:09:17,387 --> 00:09:19,807 "SECRET INGREDIENT" KELLY IS LEAVING TOMORROW. 267 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,480 OH, I'VE GOT ANOTHER SECRET, 268 00:09:21,481 --> 00:09:23,351 AND THIS ONE I CAN TELL YOU, JAY. 269 00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:25,073 REALLY? WELL, LET ME HAVE IT. 270 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,395 MY MEETING IN BOSTON WAS CANCELLED, 271 00:09:27,397 --> 00:09:29,897 SO I CAN STAY FOR ANOTHER WHOLE WEEK. 272 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,610 ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? 273 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,072 [ JUNIOR LAUGHING ] 274 00:09:35,656 --> 00:09:38,746 ANOTHER WEEK, Y'ALL! 275 00:09:44,124 --> 00:09:46,304 IT'S HER OR ME, MICHAEL! 276 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:47,506 IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. OH, YES, IT IS! 277 00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:49,087 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME, 278 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,969 BUT YOU GOT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" 279 00:09:52,973 --> 00:09:54,553 OKAY, SO I THROW MY SISTER OUT, 280 00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:56,274 AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, JAY? 281 00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:57,926 MY MOTHER SHOWS UP. 282 00:09:57,928 --> 00:10:02,178 SO YOU WANT MY MOTHER HERE? DO YOU WANT MAMA HERE? 283 00:10:02,182 --> 00:10:03,852 NOBODY WANTS THAT. 284 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,944 BUT, MICHAEL, AS LONG AS YOUR SISTER'S IN THIS HOUSE, 285 00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:07,606 I'M NOT GONNA BE HAPPY. AND GUESS WHAT. 286 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,777 I'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT HAPPY EITHER! 287 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:11,320 LISTEN, BABY, 288 00:10:11,321 --> 00:10:12,781 INSTEAD OF US THROWING MY FAMILY OUT IN THE STREET, 289 00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:13,823 WHY DON'T WE TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH? 290 00:10:13,824 --> 00:10:15,584 MM-HMM. 291 00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:17,285 WHY DON'T WE JUST TRY TO MAKE THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS 292 00:10:17,287 --> 00:10:19,077 AS FESTIVE AND FUN AS POSSIBLE? 293 00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:21,159 BABE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE WITH HER AROUND! 294 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:23,201 NO, IT'S NOT. KELLY'S A LOT OF FUN. 295 00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:26,253 WHEN WE WAS LITTLE, SHE USED TO PLAY ALL THESE THEATER GAMES. 296 00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:28,746 SHE LIKED TO DO SINGALONGS AND RHYMES AND STUFF. 297 00:10:28,749 --> 00:10:30,549 WE COULD DO SOME OF THAT STUFF. 298 00:10:30,550 --> 00:10:32,510 BABY, I AM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING, 299 00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:35,022 BUT SHE'LL JUST TURN IT INTO SOMETHING NEGATIVE. 300 00:10:35,015 --> 00:10:36,925 NO, SHE'S REALLY TRYING, JAY. 301 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,757 [ SCOFFS ] IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, 302 00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:40,599 SHE HASN'T ONCE MENTIONED SHARON. 303 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,930 HUH? 304 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,472 YES? YES. 305 00:10:43,473 --> 00:10:45,533 ALL RIGHT, SHE HASN'T MENTIONED SHARON. 306 00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:48,435 FINE. I'M WILLING TO RIDE THIS OUT. FINE. 307 00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:50,728 THANK YOU. SEE? NOW YOU'RE THE BIGGER WOMAN. 308 00:10:50,731 --> 00:10:53,071 I MEAN NOT PHYSICALLY. 309 00:10:53,073 --> 00:10:55,663 EMOTIONALLY, LIKE, ROUND -- 310 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,365 NOT ROUND. 311 00:10:57,367 --> 00:10:59,657 GO-- 'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING -- 312 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,409 SHUT UP, MICHAEL! 313 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,791 A MONTH AGO COULDN'T DO THAT "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE." 314 00:11:07,878 --> 00:11:09,878 HEY, SIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 315 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,460 I'M FêNG-SHUIING. 316 00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:14,251 JUST TRYING TO GET THE BAD VIBES OUT OF THIS ROOM. 317 00:11:14,254 --> 00:11:16,354 YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF BAD VIBES, 318 00:11:16,346 --> 00:11:18,756 I REALLY, REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 319 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:20,849 OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY. 320 00:11:20,851 --> 00:11:22,851 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU MARRIED HER EITHER, 321 00:11:22,853 --> 00:11:24,433 BUT YOU GOT TO STICK IN THERE FOR THE KIDS' SAKE, 322 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,074 ESPECIALLY THAT SLOW ONE. 323 00:11:26,066 --> 00:11:29,226 NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS -- SIT DOWN, PLEASE. 324 00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:30,859 LISTEN, KEL. 325 00:11:30,861 --> 00:11:34,651 I AM GETTING MORE AND MORE FRUSTRATED BY THE -- 326 00:11:34,654 --> 00:11:36,624 YES, YOU ARE. 327 00:11:36,616 --> 00:11:39,026 I MEAN YOU FEEL TENSE, TOO, BRO. 328 00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:41,239 TOO BAD JAY'S LITTLE, STUBBY HANDS 329 00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:42,781 CAN'T WORK THESE KINKS OUT. 330 00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:44,793 NO, LISTEN. WAIT. STOP. SEE? 331 00:11:44,785 --> 00:11:46,625 YOU GOT TO STOP DOING THAT. 332 00:11:46,626 --> 00:11:48,036 DOING WHAT? 333 00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:49,668 MAKING CATTY LITTLE REMARKS ABOUT MY WIFE. 334 00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:51,589 I AM NOT BEING CATTY. 335 00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:54,671 IT'S NOT MY FAULT SHE HAS WEBSTER'S HANDS ON SHAQ'S BODY. 336 00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:57,394 SEE? YOU DID IT AGAIN. LOOK, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 337 00:11:57,387 --> 00:12:01,837 KELLY, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, BUT THAT'S MY WIFE, OKAY? 338 00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:03,842 I LOVE HER LITTLE, STUBBY HANDS. 339 00:12:03,844 --> 00:12:05,734 AND YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE 340 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,105 AND DISRESPECT HER IN HER OWN HOUSE. 341 00:12:08,108 --> 00:12:10,058 I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T DO IT FOR HER 342 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,650 CAN YOU DO IT FOR ME? 343 00:12:11,651 --> 00:12:14,611 CAN YOU HELP ME KEEP A LITTLE PEACE IN HERE, PLEASE? 344 00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:16,824 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 345 00:12:16,817 --> 00:12:18,737 JUST LIGHTEN UP. YOU KNOW, LET'S HAVE FUN. 346 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,028 REMEMBER WHEN WE WAS LITTLE, WE USED TO PLAY GAMES? 347 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,621 LET'S DO SOME OF THAT STUFF. 348 00:12:22,622 --> 00:12:24,532 LET'S HAVE A SING-OFF OR SOMETHING. 349 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:26,374 YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT. 350 00:12:26,366 --> 00:12:28,706 COME ON. LET'S GO DOWNSTAIRS AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 351 00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,368 THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN, 352 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:32,330 'CAUSE YOU KNOW I CAN SING. 353 00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:34,462 HEY, HEY, LISTEN. 354 00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:38,554 WHY DON'T MY TWO FAVORITE LADIES SING A DUET? 355 00:12:38,548 --> 00:12:39,758 OOH, YES! MY FAVORITE! 356 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,639 YES. YEAH! 357 00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:43,431 DO YOU KNOW THAT SONG "ENDLESS LOVE" 358 00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:45,063 BY LIONEL RICHIE AND DIANA ROSS? 359 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,055 I SURE DO. GOOD. YOU'RE LIONEL. 360 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,887 YOU START, AND I'LL COME IN A LITTLE LATER, OKAY? 361 00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,310 MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT. 362 00:12:51,311 --> 00:12:53,101 ♪ MY LOVE ♪ 363 00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:57,703 ♪ THERE'S ONLY YOU IN MY LIFE ♪ 364 00:12:57,697 --> 00:13:01,987 ♪ THE ONLY THING THAT'S RIGHT ♪ 365 00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:04,362 ♪ OH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ 366 00:13:04,364 --> 00:13:07,624 [ SINGING OFF-KEY ] ♪ MY FIRST LOVE ♪ 367 00:13:07,617 --> 00:13:13,167 ♪ YOU'RE EVERY BREATH THAT I TAKE ♪ 368 00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:14,623 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT? 369 00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:16,054 SOMEBODY'S A LITTLE OFF. 370 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,716 YEAH, SOMEBODY IS OFF. 371 00:13:17,717 --> 00:13:20,717 WHY DON'T YOU, UM, STICK YOUR HEAD FORWARD? 372 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,420 RELAX YOUR THROAT SO YOU WON'T SOUND SO [SNORTS] NASAL. 373 00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:26,854 [ SNORTING ] 374 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,847 RIGHT, IN THERE. THAT'S WHERE SHE WAS. 375 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:29,929 LET'S TRY IT AGAIN. 376 00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:33,310 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 377 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,993 Y FI-- ♪♪ MY FIRST LOVE ♪ 378 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:36,105 HEY! 379 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,526 WHAT?! 380 00:13:38,528 --> 00:13:39,738 I GOT AN IDEA. 381 00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:41,359 HMM? 382 00:13:41,361 --> 00:13:43,531 WHY DON'T YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, LET ME TAKE IT ON HOME. 383 00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,333 YOU WANNA TAKE IT ON HOME? I'M GONNA TAKE IT HOME. 384 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,575 GOOD. I'M GONNA CALL YOU A CAB. 385 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:54,291 [ Singing off-key ] ♪ I ♪ 386 00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:57,554 ♪ I WANT TO SHARE ♪ 387 00:13:57,547 --> 00:14:01,837 ♪ MY WHOLE LIFE WITH YOU ♪ 388 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,421 UNH-UNH-UNH. 389 00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:08,353 ♪ NO ONE ELSE WILL DO ♪ 390 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,308 ♪ IN YOUR EYES ♪ 391 00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:12,390 ♪ YOUR EYES ♪ 392 00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:14,022 ♪ YOUR EYES ♪ 393 00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:16,284 OH, MY GOD. 394 00:14:16,276 --> 00:14:20,646 ♪ THEY TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU CARE ♪ 395 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,070 OH, LORD! 396 00:14:22,072 --> 00:14:23,152 ♪ OH, YES ♪ 397 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,653 OH, NO. 398 00:14:24,654 --> 00:14:28,664 ♪ YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ♪ 399 00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:30,578 [ GAGGING ] 400 00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:34,372 ♪ MY ♪ 401 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,424 ♪ ENDLESS ♪ 402 00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,996 ♪ LOVE ♪ 403 00:14:38,999 --> 00:14:41,339 OH, MICHAEL. 404 00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:43,591 I DON'T REMEMBER THE SONG BEING THAT LONG. 405 00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:46,433 [ HUMMING ] 406 00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:48,176 [ KELLY SIGHS ] 407 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:51,808 SO, BRO-BRO... 408 00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:54,141 WHO'S GOT THE BETTER VOICE, BRO-BRO? 409 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,694 YES, WHO HAS GOT THE BETTER VOICE, BRO-BRO? 410 00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:59,066 UH, I DO! 411 00:14:59,069 --> 00:15:02,939 ♪ OH, CANADA ♪ 412 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,483 ♪ CANADA ♪ 413 00:15:04,484 --> 00:15:06,374 ♪ MY LAND THAT I LOVE ♪ 414 00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:07,906 MICHAEL! COME ON, MICHAEL! 415 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,617 ♪ YOU GAVE US BACON ♪ 416 00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:12,449 ♪ AND CANADA DRY GINGER ALE ♪ 417 00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:13,792 WHO WON? 418 00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:15,753 CUT IT OUT WITH THE CANADA! WHO WON? 419 00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:18,035 IT WASN'T A CONTEST! 420 00:15:18,038 --> 00:15:21,498 IT WAS -- IF YOU HAVE TO SAY -- IF I HAVE TO SAY -- 421 00:15:21,501 --> 00:15:23,631 YOU'RE GONNA PUT ME ON THE SPOT? 422 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,683 IT WAS A TIE. WHAT?! 423 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,425 [ SCOFFS ] 424 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,097 SORRY, JAY. 425 00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:30,929 BRO-BRO KNOWS THE ONLY GIRL WITH THE BETTER VOICE THAN MINE 426 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,470 IS SHARON. 427 00:15:32,472 --> 00:15:33,552 [ KIDS SHOUTING ] 428 00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,823 SHARON? 429 00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:37,725 NO, SHE MEANT SHARING -- 430 00:15:37,727 --> 00:15:40,147 SHE DON'T MIND SHARING THE PRIZE. 431 00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:43,020 NO, I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND SHARON. 432 00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:44,863 SHA-RON. HOWEVER YOU WANNA CALL HER. 433 00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:46,334 SHARING THE LOVE. 434 00:15:46,326 --> 00:15:48,526 NO, THE GIRL THAT MY BROTHER WAS DESTINED TO MARRY 435 00:15:48,528 --> 00:15:51,448 UNTIL YOU WENT AND GOT YOURSELF IN THE KYLE FAMILY WAY. 436 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,571 OH, SO I GAVE BIRTH TO THREE CHILDREN 437 00:15:53,573 --> 00:15:55,293 JUST TO GET HIM AWAY FROM SHARON? 438 00:15:55,285 --> 00:15:56,625 IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?! 439 00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:57,496 SHE DIDN'T THINK THAT, NO. YES. 440 00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:58,537 NO. 441 00:15:58,538 --> 00:16:00,578 MICHAEL! MICHAEL! 442 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,880 [ SIGHING LOUDLY ] 443 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,724 [ SIGHS ] 444 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,587 HOW DID THE FAINTING GO? 445 00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:11,009 NOT GOOD AT ALL. 446 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,641 THEY REVIVED ME WITH MORE FIGHTING. 447 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,182 [ GROANS ] 448 00:16:14,184 --> 00:16:15,814 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? I DON'T KNOW. 449 00:16:15,805 --> 00:16:17,435 BUT IF YOU CAN GET THIS PIECE OF CAR WORKING, 450 00:16:17,437 --> 00:16:18,857 WE COULD DRIVE UP TO CANADA. 451 00:16:18,858 --> 00:16:20,688 REALLY, DAD. THIS IS CRAZY. 452 00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:22,400 WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. 453 00:16:22,402 --> 00:16:24,362 WELL, I'M OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS. 454 00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,874 WELL, WHEN CLAIRE AND I FIGHT, YOU ALWAYS SIT US DOWN 455 00:16:26,866 --> 00:16:29,156 AND MAKE US SEE THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW. 456 00:16:29,159 --> 00:16:31,569 AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU BEAT US. 457 00:16:31,571 --> 00:16:35,121 YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T TAKE YOUR MOM. 458 00:16:35,115 --> 00:16:36,375 NO. 459 00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,246 SO, MAYBE I'LL JUST TALK TO HER. 460 00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,248 TRY IT. 461 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,499 WISH ME LUCK. 462 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,041 OH, BY THE WAY, 463 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,433 IS CLAIRE GONNA BE LIKE THAT WHEN I GET MARRIED? 464 00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:48,625 NO. KADY'S THE PSYCHO. 465 00:16:48,628 --> 00:16:50,548 WELL, IF YOU HAD A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, 466 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:52,510 YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO MEDDLE IN MINE! 467 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,432 IS THAT A FACT? THAT IS A FACT! 468 00:16:54,434 --> 00:16:55,604 OKAY, HOLD IT! HOLD IT! 469 00:16:55,595 --> 00:16:57,135 [ CLANGING ] 470 00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:59,187 OKAY, I'M TIRED OF YOU TWO GROWN WOMEN BICKERING! 471 00:16:59,189 --> 00:17:00,599 YOU'RE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN, 472 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,400 SO I'M GONNA TREAT YOU LIKE CHILDREN. 473 00:17:02,402 --> 00:17:03,562 SIT DOWN. 474 00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,573 COME ON, SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN! 475 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,107 NOW, LET'S GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, OKAY? 476 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:13,530 I WANT YOU TO TALK TO EACH OTHER, NOT AT EACH OTHER. 477 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,423 I'M NOT TALKING. WELL, I'LL GO FIRST. 478 00:17:15,415 --> 00:17:16,825 WHY SHE GOT TO GO FIRST? 479 00:17:16,826 --> 00:17:19,036 BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO GO FIRST. 480 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,208 YOU SAID -- 481 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,120 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 482 00:17:22,122 --> 00:17:24,042 OKAY, KELLY. 483 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,883 LOOK JAY IN THE EYE AND TELL HER WHAT YOU FEEL. 484 00:17:26,876 --> 00:17:30,256 I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BEST FRIEND, SHARON. 485 00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:33,590 MICHAEL, SHARON, AND I WERE LIKE THE THREE MUSKETEERS 486 00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:36,273 UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG AND RUINED EVERYTHING. 487 00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:37,846 OH, I RUINED EVERYTHING? EVERYTHING! 488 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:41,057 [ CLANGING ] 489 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,400 WHAT KELLY IS TRYING TO SAY IS SHE BLAMES YOU, JAY, 490 00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:49,945 FOR TAKING ME AWAY FROM HER AND HER BEST FRIEND WHAT'S-HER-NAME. 491 00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:54,111 AND THAT WAS VERY PAINFUL TO HER. 492 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,964 IT WAS TOUGH. 493 00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:58,365 LOSING ME TO ANYONE WOULD BE DEVASTATING. 494 00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:03,329 NOW, JAY, I WANT YOU TO LOOK KELLY IN THE EYE 495 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,003 AND EXPRESS YOURSELF. 496 00:18:05,004 --> 00:18:06,714 TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. 497 00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:08,256 ALL RIGHT. 498 00:18:08,258 --> 00:18:10,258 I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU COMING INTO MY HOME 499 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,010 TRYING TO TAKE OVER WITH YOUR SINGING 500 00:18:12,011 --> 00:18:14,211 AND YOUR PRESENTS AND YOUR SECRET INGREDIENTS, 501 00:18:14,214 --> 00:18:19,144 AND LET'S DISCUSS SHARON FOR ONE SECOND. 502 00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,059 SHE LOST! I WON! GET OVER IT! 503 00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:22,600 AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS IS A CANDY BAR, BABY. 504 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,772 IS THAT RIGHT? 505 00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:26,113 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING, CLANGING ] 506 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,435 AIN'T YOU GLAD YOU BOUGHT THE BELL? 507 00:18:29,939 --> 00:18:36,579 WHAT JAY IS TRYING TO SAY WITHOUT ALL THIS... 508 00:18:36,576 --> 00:18:40,906 IS IT'S HARD FOR HER TO SEE ME IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE 509 00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:44,120 THAT PREDATES THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HAVE. 510 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,253 AM I RIGHT? 511 00:18:46,246 --> 00:18:50,166 WELL, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME OR SHARON? 512 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,550 SEE? THERE SHE GOES -- [ CLANGING ] 513 00:18:51,551 --> 00:18:55,091 ♪ OH, CANADA ♪ 514 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:57,524 ♪ THE CAPITAL IS OTTAWA ♪ 515 00:18:57,517 --> 00:18:59,467 ♪ THEY EXPORT WHEAT ♪ 516 00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:00,969 ALL RIGHT! MICHAEL. 517 00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:03,390 ♪ MOOSES ♪ 518 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,943 LISTEN... 519 00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:10,686 I LOVE BOTH OF YOU. 520 00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:12,190 OKAY? 521 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,532 AND THE ONLY THING YOU GUYS HAVE IN COMMON 522 00:19:14,534 --> 00:19:17,874 IS THE FACT THAT YOU BOTH LOVE ME, RIGHT? 523 00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:19,077 RIGHT. 524 00:19:19,078 --> 00:19:20,118 RIGHT? 525 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:21,909 YEAH, YEAH, I LOVE YOU. 526 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,701 OKAY. 527 00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:28,633 SO, CAN YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO STOP HATING EACH OTHER? 528 00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:34,250 I WILL LEAVE YOU TO PONDER THAT. 529 00:19:34,254 --> 00:19:36,974 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, MICHAEL. 530 00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:40,256 JAY, THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL FINISH. 531 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,260 HOW DO YOU HATE EACH OTHER TO LOVE ME TO HATE -- 532 00:19:43,263 --> 00:19:45,063 ALL RIGHT, ONE QUESTION? 533 00:19:45,064 --> 00:19:47,614 I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO TOP THAT FINISH, BUT GO AHEAD. 534 00:19:47,607 --> 00:19:50,107 IF YOUR SISTER AND I WERE BOTH DROWNING, 535 00:19:50,109 --> 00:19:52,479 AND YOU COULD ONLY SAVE ONE OF US, 536 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:54,022 WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE? 537 00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:56,283 YOU GUYS ARE CONSTANTLY MAKING ME CHOOSE. 538 00:19:56,276 --> 00:19:58,946 I CAN'T CHOOSE, OKAY? 539 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:03,238 THE TRUTH IS I'D PROBABLY DIE TRYING TO SAVE BOTH OF YOU. 540 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:09,206 AND I DID TOP IT. 541 00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:12,881 Kelly: ALL RIGHT. 542 00:20:12,882 --> 00:20:14,252 ALL RIGHT, SIS. 543 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:16,144 YOUR CAB IS WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE. 544 00:20:16,135 --> 00:20:18,005 I'LL MISS YOU, AUNT KELLY. 545 00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:20,007 YOU SURE? YES, I'M SURE. 546 00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:22,139 BYE, BABY. I'LL MISS YOU, TOO. 547 00:20:22,141 --> 00:20:23,641 BYE, MISS KADY. 548 00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:25,403 I'LL MISS YOU, AUNT KELLY. 549 00:20:25,395 --> 00:20:27,515 I'LL MISS YOU, TOO. 550 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,187 WELL. WELL. 551 00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:33,018 I KNOW IT WASN'T A FUN-FILLED WEEKEND AT DISNEYLAND -- 552 00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:34,732 YEAH, BUT WE SURVIVED IT. 553 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,284 YEAH. 554 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:39,618 [ LAUGHS ] 555 00:20:39,619 --> 00:20:41,199 [ LAUGHS ] 556 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,070 OKAY. OKAY. 557 00:20:49,329 --> 00:20:50,789 NUTMEG. 558 00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:52,170 WHAT YOU CALL ME? 559 00:20:52,171 --> 00:20:53,581 NO! 560 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,843 THAT'S THE SECRET INGREDIENT. 561 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,927 BYE, JAY. 562 00:20:58,928 --> 00:21:00,178 BYE. 563 00:21:06,185 --> 00:21:08,015 I thought it was cinnamon. 564 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:12,307 Shh! 565 00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:20,567 ♪ OH, CANADA ♪ 566 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,530 ♪ I LOVE YOU, CANADA ♪ 567 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:24,533 COME ON, MICHAEL! 568 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:26,174 ♪ YOU GAVE US BACON ♪ 569 00:21:26,165 --> 00:21:27,905 MICHAEL! 570 00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:30,407 [ LAUGHTER ] 571 00:21:30,410 --> 00:21:32,670 KELLY, I THINK THIS IS VERY SWEET AND ALL, 572 00:21:32,672 --> 00:21:35,082 BUT I DON'T THINK A WOMAN -- WHAT IS THE LINE? 573 00:21:35,084 --> 00:21:36,224 All: MY AGE! 574 00:21:36,215 --> 00:21:37,545 DAMN. MM-HMM. 37411

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