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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,218 --> 00:00:08,798 WHAT'S UP? 2 00:00:08,799 --> 00:00:11,089 DON'T "WHAT'S UP?" ME, YOU BIG-HEADED MORON, BOULDERHEAD. 3 00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:13,512 LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO MY SHIRT, DOOFUS. 4 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,484 IT'S GOT OIL STAINS ALL OVER IT. 5 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:17,396 OH, IT'S NOT OIL. THAT'S BRAKE FLUID. 6 00:00:17,398 --> 00:00:19,138 HOW DARE YOU TAKE SOMETHING OF MINE 7 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:22,060 AND USE IT TO CLEAN THAT STUPID BROKEN-DOWN CAR OF YOURS. 8 00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,073 WELL, YOUR SHIRT WAS ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. 9 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,145 DUMMY. I PUT EVERYTHING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. 10 00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:28,147 THEN MOM COMES, PICKS IT UP, AND CLEANS IT. 11 00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:29,609 THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. 12 00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:31,410 YOU SHUT UP. 13 00:00:31,412 --> 00:00:35,212 I DON'T WANT YOU EVER TOUCHING MY STUFF -- EVER, EVER, EVER. 14 00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:36,826 YOU GOT THAT, CHROME DOME? 15 00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:39,037 YEAH? WELL, YOU LEAVE MY STUFF ALONE, TOO. 16 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,249 I NEVER TOUCH YOUR STUFF. 17 00:00:40,251 --> 00:00:41,871 OH, REALLY? 18 00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:43,712 WHAT'S THIS, HUH? 19 00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:46,054 YOU BEDAZZLED MY BASKETBALL JERSEY. 20 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,586 I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH THAT. 21 00:00:47,588 --> 00:00:49,218 DIDN'T THEY THROW YOU OFF THE TEAM? 22 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:51,300 NO, BUT THEY WILL NOW, THANKS TO YOU. 23 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,722 HEY, GUYS, DON'T FIGHT! LISTEN TO MY HAPPY SONG! 24 00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:57,184 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 25 00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:59,228 I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I HATE YOU MORE! 26 00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:00,390 YOU SMELL! 27 00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:02,441 I DON'T CARE! THAT'S MY MAN SCENT! 28 00:01:02,443 --> 00:01:04,743 THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN. THIS IS TORTURE. 29 00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:05,985 I GOT AN IDEA. 30 00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:08,986 WHY DON'T WE TELL THE KIDS THAT WE'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER 31 00:01:08,989 --> 00:01:10,319 AND JUST DON'T COME HOME? 32 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:12,071 YOU MEAN LIKE SPEND THE NIGHT IN A HOTEL? 33 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,242 NO, I MEAN RUN AWAY. 34 00:01:13,244 --> 00:01:15,334 WE GOT MONEY AND A FULL TANK OF GAS. 35 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,786 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 36 00:01:17,788 --> 00:01:19,038 GO DEAL WITH YOUR KIDS. 37 00:01:19,039 --> 00:01:20,539 OH, THEY'RE MY KIDS NOW? 38 00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:22,501 YOU PUT THOSE BURGERS ON THE GRILL. 39 00:01:22,503 --> 00:01:23,793 NOW GO FLIP THEM. 40 00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:25,924 Claire: JUST SHUT UP! Junior: YOU SHUT UP! 41 00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:27,336 YOU SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP! 42 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,168 NO! YOU SHUT UP! 43 00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:31,710 HEY! EVERYBODY SHUT UP. 44 00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:34,012 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 45 00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:36,984 IF YOU PUT HALF THIS ENERGY INTO DOING YOUR CHORES, 46 00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,927 WE'D HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE BY NOW. 47 00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:41,269 I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS FIGHTING. 48 00:01:41,272 --> 00:01:43,562 NOT ME, DADDY. I'M YOUR GOOD BABY. 49 00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:45,404 I WAS DOING MY HAPPY DANCE. 50 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:49,026 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 51 00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:50,439 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, HEY... ♪ 52 00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:52,071 THAT'S VERY CUTE. 53 00:01:52,072 --> 00:01:54,952 ♪ SMILE, LITTLE CRITTER, SMILE, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 54 00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:56,655 ♪ SMILE, LITTLE CRITTER... ♪ 55 00:01:56,657 --> 00:01:58,197 THAT'S VERY SPECIAL. 56 00:01:58,199 --> 00:02:01,039 ♪ ARE YOU HAPPY, LITTLE CRITTER? HAPPY, LI-- ♪ 57 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:02,411 ENOUGH. 58 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,173 OKAY. 59 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,915 YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE DID? 60 00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:08,046 NO. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT ANYONE DID. 61 00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:10,378 YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU GUYS CAN'T SEEM TO FIND 62 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:13,301 ANYTHING YOU LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER, I'M GONNA HELP YOU OUT. 63 00:02:13,304 --> 00:02:15,184 YOU'RE GONNA GET ME MY OWN APARTMENT? 64 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,466 UH...NO. 65 00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:20,888 BUT WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS YOU SIT HERE, AND YOU SIT HERE, 66 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,181 AND I WANT YOU TO STARE AT EACH OTHER 67 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:26,074 AND FIND OUT THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER 68 00:02:26,066 --> 00:02:27,356 AND THEN WRITE THEM DOWN. 69 00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:28,978 WE COULD BE HERE FOREVER. 70 00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:32,269 WELL, JUST TO SPEED THINGS UP, KADY'S GONNA ASSIST YOU 71 00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:35,203 BY SINGING NONSTOP THE HAPPY CRITTER SONG 72 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:38,366 UNTIL YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING YOU LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER. 73 00:02:38,369 --> 00:02:39,989 TAKE IT AWAY, KADY. 74 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:43,330 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 75 00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:46,094 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪ 76 00:02:46,086 --> 00:02:49,166 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 77 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,339 I CAN'T GET THAT STUPID SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. 78 00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,513 WHATEVER YOU DID, THANK YOU FOR SHUTTING THEM UP. 79 00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:55,715 YOU'RE WELCOME. 80 00:02:55,716 --> 00:02:58,136 HEY, YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME REAL FUN? 81 00:02:58,138 --> 00:03:01,218 YEAH. READY. 82 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,232 IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THE TEST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR, 83 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,475 THEN FINE, BE MY GUEST. 84 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:08,016 OKAY, GO AHEAD. [ COUGHS ] 85 00:03:08,018 --> 00:03:09,898 GO AHEAD. 86 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:14,450 I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS TEST -- TESTING YOUR ROMANTIC QUOTIENT. 87 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,115 I THOUGHT IT'D BE A HOOT. 88 00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:17,776 A HOOT, HUH? 89 00:03:17,778 --> 00:03:19,698 AND "HOOT" DO YOU THINK YOU'RE KIDDING WITH THAT? 90 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,080 COME ON, MICHAEL. PLAY ALONG. 91 00:03:21,081 --> 00:03:23,951 UH...NO. 92 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,674 COME ON, BABY! COME ON. JUST FOR A FEW LAUGHS. 93 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:29,127 AND TAKING MY PANTS DOWN WASN'T FUNNY? 94 00:03:29,129 --> 00:03:30,289 A LITTLE BIT. 95 00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:33,881 A LI-- [ LAUGHS MOCKINGLY ] A LITTLE! 96 00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:37,394 WHATEVER. I'M FUNNY. 97 00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:42,098 OKAY. "YOUR SPOUSE'S EYES ARE...?" 98 00:03:42,102 --> 00:03:44,902 CLOSED, BUT HER BRA IS OPEN. 99 00:03:44,895 --> 00:03:46,845 NO! 100 00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:50,807 I'M TALKING ABOUT MY COLOR OF MY EYES. 101 00:03:50,811 --> 00:03:52,191 UM...BROWN. 102 00:03:52,192 --> 00:03:52,982 BROWN?! 103 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,203 ...ISH. ...ISH?! 104 00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:58,485 IN A BLACKISH, KINDA BLUISH, GREENISH SORT OF WAY. 105 00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,859 MY EYES ARE HAZEL. 106 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,120 WELL, THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 107 00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:05,042 YOU MIX BROWNISH, GREENISH, BLUISH, YOU GONNA GET HAZEL. 108 00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:07,575 I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE. NO. WHY NOT? 109 00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:09,328 BECAUSE YOU'RE STARTING TO GET MAD. 110 00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,710 I'M NOT GETTING MAD. COME ON, BABE. 111 00:04:11,712 --> 00:04:14,132 "YOUR MATE'S IDEA OF A PERFECT DATE IS... 112 00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:15,724 "'A' -- A WALK ON THE BEACH, 113 00:04:15,716 --> 00:04:18,466 "'B' -- STARGAZING AT A PRISTINE MOUNTAINTOP, 114 00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:21,759 OR 'C' -- DINNER AND A CARRIAGE RIDE THROUGH A PARK?" 115 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,812 "C" -- BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING YOU LIKE BETTER THAN 116 00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:28,345 A SHRIMP DINNER FOLLOWED BY THE SWEET SMELL OF HORSE ASS. 117 00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:30,939 WILL YOU PLEASE BE SERIOUS? 118 00:04:30,941 --> 00:04:34,781 OKAY, I'M SERIOUS. I'M SERIOUS GEORGE RIGHT NOW. 119 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,195 AND... 120 00:04:36,196 --> 00:04:38,276 WHAT IS THE NEXT QUESTION? 121 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,948 THAT'S NOT SERIOUS, BUT OKAY. 122 00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:43,781 "WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS YOUR PARTNER'S FAVORITE FOOD -- 123 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,584 PIZZA, STEAK, LOBSTER, OR CHEESECAKE?" 124 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:48,787 ALL OF THE ABOVE. 125 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,289 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP ON JOKING. 126 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,721 THAT'S EXACTLY HOW THE MAGAZINE SAID -- 127 00:04:54,715 --> 00:04:58,875 REALLY? DID THIS MAGAZINE SAY THAT I WOULD DO THAT? 128 00:04:58,879 --> 00:05:02,049 BABY, THOSE MAGAZINES ARE SKEWED TO A WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW. 129 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,182 SAME THING WITH MEN'S MAGAZINES. 130 00:05:04,184 --> 00:05:06,394 WATCH THIS. LET'S TAKE A TEST. 131 00:05:06,387 --> 00:05:07,807 HOLD UP. 132 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,268 YOU HAVE A SECRET HIDING PLACE FOR DIRTY MAGAZINES? 133 00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:12,060 ALL MEN DO. 134 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,192 COME ON, DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 135 00:05:14,194 --> 00:05:17,114 LET'S TAKE A LITTLE TEST FROM HETERO MAGAZINE. 136 00:05:17,107 --> 00:05:19,197 FINE. [ SCOFFS ] I'LL PASS IT. 137 00:05:19,199 --> 00:05:21,319 OKAY. NO...DON'T CHEAT. 138 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,491 OKAY, GO! 139 00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:25,043 "YOUR PARTNER'S IDEA OF A ROMANTIC EVENING IS... 140 00:05:25,035 --> 00:05:27,945 "'A' -- A NIGHT AT THE OPERA FOLLOWED BY DINNER AND DANCING, 141 00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:31,328 "'B' -- A MOONLIT PICNIC ON A TROPICAL ISLAND, 142 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:35,011 OR 'C' -- SLOPPY, DRUNKEN SEX?" 143 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:36,835 Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick -- 144 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,337 IT'S BETWEEN "A" AND "B." 145 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,628 [ IMITATES BUZZER ] WRONG ANSWER! 146 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,171 NUMBER-ONE ANSWER IS SLOPPY, DRUNKEN SEX. 147 00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:45,313 NO, NO, NO, NO! GIVE ME THE NEXT QUESTION. 148 00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:47,965 THERE'S NO NEXT QUESTION. THERE'S ONLY ONE QUESTION. 149 00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:49,138 THAT'S ALL MEN WANT TO KNOW, 150 00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:51,179 AND APPARENTLY, YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR MAN. 151 00:05:51,181 --> 00:05:55,651 SO ACCORDING TO THE MAGAZINE, WE ARE ROMANTICALLY INCOMPATIBLE. 152 00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:58,026 WELL, I GUESS WE ARE, THEN. 153 00:05:58,028 --> 00:05:59,898 WANT TO FOOL AROUND? 154 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,860 SURE DO. ME TOO. 155 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,042 Kady: ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 156 00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:07,195 Junior: WILL YOU STOP SINGING THAT STUPID SONG? 157 00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:10,247 ♪ THE SONG AIN'T STUPID, THE SONG AIN'T STUPID ♪ 158 00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,080 Claire: I'M GONNA CHOKE YOU! 159 00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:15,212 DID YOU WRITE DOWN SOMETHING YOU LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER YET? 160 00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:17,295 [ KADY GURGLING ] Together: NOT YET, DAD. 161 00:06:17,297 --> 00:06:21,257 ALL RIGHT. THEN STOP STRANGLING THE BABY AND GET BACK TO WORK. 162 00:06:21,261 --> 00:06:23,001 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH THESE KIDS? 163 00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,343 I DON'T KNOW. 164 00:06:24,344 --> 00:06:26,854 YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM -- 165 00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:29,137 AND THE LAW SUGGESTS YOU DON'T -- 166 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,009 THEN WHY DON'T WE JOIN THEM? 167 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,181 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, PRETEND TO FIGHT? 168 00:06:33,183 --> 00:06:35,403 YEAH. GIVE THEM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. 169 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,015 WE FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE, JUST ARGUE LIKE CATS AND DOGS. 170 00:06:38,018 --> 00:06:40,018 MICHAEL, YOU ARE THE ONLY MAN ON THIS EARTH 171 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,980 THAT WOULD THINK OF SOMETHING SO AWFUL. 172 00:06:41,982 --> 00:06:45,032 I KNOW. 173 00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:46,985 OKAY, I'M IN. YUP, I'M IN. 174 00:06:46,987 --> 00:06:48,987 Junior: I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOU -- 175 00:06:48,989 --> 00:06:50,369 THAT SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE DEAD. 176 00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:53,370 WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT GIVING ME LIP, WOMAN?! 177 00:06:53,373 --> 00:06:55,923 WHO DIED AND MADE YOU THE KING, MAN?! 178 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,086 NOBODY YET, BUT YOU KEEP SASSING ME, 179 00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,748 THERE GONNA BE A BEHEADING UP IN HERE! 180 00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:04,041 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO BLAME ON ME NOW, MICHAEL?! 181 00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:07,054 YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR OWN KIDS! YOU'RE TOO SOFT ON THEM! 182 00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,097 THEY RUN AROUND HERE LIKE WILD BANSHEES! 183 00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:11,809 WELL, THEY GET IT FROM YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY! 184 00:07:11,812 --> 00:07:14,052 YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE WILD-BANSHEE TRAIT! 185 00:07:14,054 --> 00:07:16,364 YEAH, YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT FAMILY -- 186 00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:18,146 WHAT ABOUT YOUR MAMA?! 187 00:07:18,148 --> 00:07:21,358 COME AROUND HERE WITH THAT OLD CROOKED WIG 188 00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:25,831 SMELLING LIKE CORN CHIPS AND LIKE A POCKET FULL OF CHEESE! 189 00:07:25,826 --> 00:07:28,696 AND DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH THE LIVER SPOTS! 190 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,989 SHE GOT SO MANY SPOTS ON HER, SHE LOOK LIKE A DALMATIAN! 191 00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:34,072 TOO REAL? TOO REAL. 192 00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:35,174 OH, I'M SORRY. 193 00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:37,035 I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE -- 194 00:07:37,037 --> 00:07:38,287 YEAH, WHATEVER. 195 00:07:38,288 --> 00:07:40,338 BUT LISTEN TO THAT, BABY. YOU HEAR THAT? 196 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,210 I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING. 197 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,212 IT'S WORKING. SILENCE. 198 00:07:49,259 --> 00:07:51,349 DID YOU HEAR THAT? 199 00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:53,551 EVERYBODY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD HEARD THAT. 200 00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:55,734 DAD ACTUALLY CALLED GRANDMA A DALMATIAN. 201 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:56,936 HE ALWAYS DOES. 202 00:07:56,937 --> 00:07:59,227 NOT TO MOM'S FACE. THIS IS SERIOUS. 203 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,979 WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. 204 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,401 THEY'RE FIGHTING BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS. 205 00:08:03,403 --> 00:08:05,453 LIKE "HEY, LITTLE CRITTER" DOESN'T GET ON THEIR NERVES. 206 00:08:05,445 --> 00:08:07,695 NO. DADDY LIKES IT. NOBODY LIKES IT! 207 00:08:07,698 --> 00:08:09,408 STOP YELLING! YOU STOP YELLING! 208 00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:10,659 YOU STOP YELLING! 209 00:08:10,661 --> 00:08:12,991 LOOK, WE ALL NEED TO STOP YELLING. 210 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,173 THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FIGHTING ABOUT. 211 00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:17,825 YOU KNOW, THIS IS HOW COUPLES BREAK UP. 212 00:08:17,828 --> 00:08:20,498 OH, COME ON. MOM AND DAD'LL NEVER BREAK UP. 213 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,080 THAT'S WHAT WE SAID ABOUT BRITNEY AND JUSTIN. 214 00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:24,293 WHAT SHOULD WE DO? 215 00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:26,094 WELL, I KNOW WHAT WE SHOULDN'T DO. 216 00:08:26,086 --> 00:08:28,256 WE SHOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT WORSE. 217 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,088 WE HAVE TO BE ON OUR BEST BEHAVIOR. 218 00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,050 WE HAVE TO STOP FIGHTING. 219 00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:34,182 THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. WE HATE EACH OTHER. 220 00:08:34,184 --> 00:08:35,944 WE REALLY DO HATE EACH OTHER. 221 00:08:35,936 --> 00:08:39,136 BUT WE COULD PRETEND TO LIKE EACH OTHER WHEN THEY'RE AROUND. 222 00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:42,019 YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE THE JACKSONS DID 223 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,232 FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. 224 00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:44,913 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 225 00:08:44,905 --> 00:08:46,485 DEAL. 226 00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:51,408 HEY, SON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? 227 00:08:51,411 --> 00:08:53,201 NOTHING. JUST A LITTLE HOUSEWORK. 228 00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:56,253 OKAY. SEQUINS TOP, HOUSEWORK, AND -- 229 00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:59,956 AND A COPY OF WOMEN'S CIRCLE MAGAZINE IN YOUR POCKET. 230 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,120 THAT'S A GREAT MAGAZINE, DAD. 231 00:09:02,122 --> 00:09:04,502 OH, YEAH? DO YOU LIKE THE BRA ADS, SON? 232 00:09:04,504 --> 00:09:06,844 DO YOU LIKE THE BRA ADS? 233 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,797 YEAH. Thank God. 234 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,589 AND THIS FABULOUS ARTICLE IN HERE -- 235 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,172 "101 WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR MAN." 236 00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:17,184 OKAY, I'M SCARED AGAIN. 237 00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:19,807 HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO YOU? 238 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:23,060 SEE, I JUST PUT A "WO" IN FRONT OF THE "MAN," 239 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,653 AND IT BECOMES "WO-MAN." 240 00:09:24,645 --> 00:09:26,395 OKAY. 241 00:09:26,396 --> 00:09:28,236 FOR INSTANCE, 242 00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:32,318 "WHEN YOUR 'WO-MAN' COMES HOME FROM A HARD DAY AT THE OFFICE, 243 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:35,122 "GREET YOUR 'WO-MAN' HOLDING A MARTINI 244 00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:37,905 WHILE WRAPPED NAKED IN CELLOPHANE." 245 00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:43,832 HEY, BABY. 246 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,304 HI. 247 00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:46,085 CLAIRE! 248 00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:49,258 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP? 249 00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:51,089 OH, I'M JUST GETTING READY TO GO DO THE LAUNDRY. 250 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,131 OH, NO! I'LL DO IT FOR YOU. 251 00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,063 OH. OKAY. 252 00:09:55,055 --> 00:09:56,975 HOW WONDERFUL IS THIS? 253 00:09:56,977 --> 00:09:58,477 THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. 254 00:09:58,478 --> 00:10:00,848 RIGHT NOW WE HAVE THREE PERFECT CHILDREN! 255 00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:02,931 AS LONG AS WE KEEP ARGUING, WE'RE GONNA BE IN HEAVEN. 256 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,483 YOU'RE A GENIUS. 257 00:10:04,484 --> 00:10:06,494 Claire: HOW DO YOU OPEN THE WASHER? 258 00:10:06,486 --> 00:10:07,816 [ GAGS ] 259 00:10:07,818 --> 00:10:09,608 YOU'RE CHOKING ME, WOMAN! 260 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,189 I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 261 00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:12,781 BABY, I AM SO SORRY. 262 00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:15,793 THAT'S OKAY. I LIKE IT. DO IT AGAIN. 263 00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:18,366 NIBBLE ON MY EAR. NIBBLE ON... 264 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,288 LIKE THAT? LIKE THAT? 265 00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:23,040 NOW SPIT ON MY HEAD AND SMACK IT. 266 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,338 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ARGUE ABOUT NOW? 267 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,090 I THINK THE KIDS HAVE HAD ENOUGH. 268 00:10:32,092 --> 00:10:34,852 COME ON. NOT ONLY HAVE THEY STOPPED FIGHTING, 269 00:10:34,845 --> 00:10:37,055 BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY WORKING TOGETHER NOW. 270 00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,387 WE CAN'T STOP THIS. 271 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,098 OH, BABE, I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED. 272 00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:43,021 OKAY. THEN CONSIDER THIS -- 273 00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,523 IMAGINE A WORLD 274 00:10:44,524 --> 00:10:47,654 WHERE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO DO JUNIOR'S LAUNDRY AGAIN. 275 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,147 I DON'T KNOW. 276 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,819 COME ON, NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND VISUALIZE THE SOCKS. 277 00:10:52,823 --> 00:10:54,233 SEE THOSE SOCKS, JAY. 278 00:10:54,234 --> 00:10:56,994 OKAY, NOW HERE COME THE UNDERWEAR. 279 00:10:56,987 --> 00:10:58,367 OH. OH. 280 00:10:58,368 --> 00:11:00,618 DO YOU SEE THE... [ IMITATES BRAKES SQUEALING ] 281 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:02,740 YOU SEE THAT... [ IMITATES BRAKES SQUEALING ] 282 00:11:02,743 --> 00:11:03,913 I SEE IT. I SEE IT. 283 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,214 OKAY, NOW LISTEN TO THE UNDERWEAR TALK. 284 00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,996 [ GROWLS ] 285 00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:09,878 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! 286 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,090 ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST ARGUE ABOUT COOKING OR SOMETHING. 287 00:11:12,092 --> 00:11:13,792 OKAY, LIKE YOUR FOOD IS SO BAD -- 288 00:11:13,794 --> 00:11:15,264 YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. HERE THEY COME. 289 00:11:15,255 --> 00:11:17,425 I TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE MY EGGS FRIED. 290 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,217 HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU? 291 00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:21,509 I WANT SCRAMBLED EGGS, WOMAN, SCRAMBLED. 292 00:11:21,511 --> 00:11:24,181 YOU WANT SCRAMBLED EGGS?! 293 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,194 THERE YOU GO. 294 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,766 SCRAMBLED EGGS! 295 00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,190 HAPPY? 296 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,702 I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPY SINCE YOU LEARNED TO COOK! 297 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,115 THEN MAYBE THIS'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY, DADDY. 298 00:11:38,118 --> 00:11:42,158 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 299 00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:44,832 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪ 300 00:11:44,825 --> 00:11:46,665 OH, YEAH. THAT CHEERED ME UP. 301 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,956 MY LITTLE ONE-HIT WONDER. THANK YOU, BABY. 302 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,169 HEY, MOM, I FINISHED DOING THE LAUNDRY FOR YOU. 303 00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:52,421 OH, THANK YOU, BABY. 304 00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:54,802 AT LEAST SOMEBODY AROUND HERE HELPS ME OUT! 305 00:11:54,795 --> 00:11:56,925 WHAT? YOU DON'T HELP ME OUT. 306 00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:59,177 WHAT ABOUT MY CAR? IT'S FILTHY. 307 00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,009 THAT'S FUNNY YOU SAID THAT, DAD, 308 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:04,051 BECAUSE JUNIOR WAS TELLING ME THAT HE WAS GONNA WASH YOUR CAR. 309 00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:05,314 I WAS? 310 00:12:05,305 --> 00:12:08,515 REALLY? YOU'D DO THAT FOR YOUR DEAR OLD DAD? 311 00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:10,108 YEP. HE'D BE HAPPY TO. 312 00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:12,440 THAT WOULD SURE MAKE MY STRESS LEVEL GO DOWN. 313 00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:14,232 JUST LIKE CLAIRE WOULD BE HAPPY 314 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,824 TO VACUUM THE WHOLE, ENTIRE HOUSE. 315 00:12:16,817 --> 00:12:18,987 REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID THAT, CLAIRE? 316 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:22,069 YEAH. ANYTHING TO LOWER THOSE STRESS LEVELS. 317 00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:25,792 SHE'LL CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE -- INSIDE AND OUT -- 318 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,286 WON'T YOU, CLAIRE? 319 00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:28,417 YEAH. 320 00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,168 WHAT CAN I DO? 321 00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:32,330 WELL, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOUR MOTHER 322 00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:35,142 TO WASH MY FEET FOR THE PAST MONTH OR SO, 323 00:12:35,135 --> 00:12:38,875 BUT I GUESS IT WOULD BE BETTER WITH THESE LITTLE HANDS 324 00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:41,219 THAT CAN WRAP AROUND THE BUNION 325 00:12:41,221 --> 00:12:43,591 AND MILK OUT ALL THAT EXCESS JUICE. 326 00:12:43,593 --> 00:12:45,483 AND THEN THEM LITTLE FINGERS -- 327 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,685 YOU GOT THE PERFECT SIZE TO REACH UP IN THERE 328 00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:49,437 AND SNATCH THE GOOK OUT. 329 00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:56,775 [ SIGHS ] [ SIGHS ] [ SIGHS ] 330 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,156 OH, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 331 00:12:58,158 --> 00:13:01,158 IF I HAVE TO CLEAN ANOTHER TOILET, I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF. 332 00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:03,491 I FEEL LIKE CINDERELLA. 333 00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:06,213 AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE BUNION CHEESE ON YOUR HANDS. 334 00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:09,286 I'D GIVE ANYTHING FOR BUNION CHEESE AFTER THE SQUISHED BUGS 335 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,909 AND BIRD DOO-DOO I HAD TO SCRAPE OFF THAT CAR. 336 00:13:11,912 --> 00:13:13,502 Michael: WHERE'S MY COMB, WOMAN?! 337 00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:16,263 Jay: WHY, BALDY?! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, REMINISCE?! 338 00:13:16,256 --> 00:13:17,296 THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN. 339 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,087 I'M SICK AND TIRED OF LISTENING TO THIS STUFF. 340 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,010 IT'S TORTURE. 341 00:13:22,012 --> 00:13:23,722 OKAY, WE'VE GOTTA DO SOMETHING 342 00:13:23,723 --> 00:13:25,773 'CAUSE I'M DYING FROM ALL THIS WORK. 343 00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,685 WE'VE GOTTA DO WHAT THEY WOULD DO. 344 00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:30,097 WE HAVE TO TALK TO THEM ON THEIR OWN LEVEL. 345 00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:36,864 HEY, DAD. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 346 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,197 WHOA, THIS SOUNDS SERIOUS. 347 00:13:39,199 --> 00:13:40,649 IT IS. 348 00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:42,030 [ SIGHS ] 349 00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:45,162 HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU, DAD? 350 00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:48,405 UM...HOW OLD ARE YOU? 351 00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:51,998 DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 352 00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:55,842 OKAY, PROBABLY 16, 17 YEARS. 353 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,795 THAT'S A LONG TIME, ALMOST MY WHOLE LIFE. 354 00:13:58,798 --> 00:13:59,958 AND IN THAT TIME, 355 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,760 I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU ACT IN SUCH A CHILDISH MANNER. 356 00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:05,063 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 357 00:14:05,055 --> 00:14:07,925 THIS FIGHTING IS SILLY, AND IT'S IMPACTING EVERYONE. 358 00:14:07,928 --> 00:14:08,888 WELL, SHE STARTED IT. 359 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,679 I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT. 360 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,810 I DON'T HAVE TO -- SIT DOWN! 361 00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:19,316 IT'S UP TO YOU TO FINISH IT. 362 00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:20,439 BUT -- 363 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,820 NO BUTS. 364 00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:24,861 SEE, LOVE IS A FLOWER THAT WILL ONLY BLOOM 365 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,754 IN THE RICH SOIL OF UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. 366 00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:30,948 YOU READING WOMEN'S CIRCLE AGAIN? 367 00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,951 OH, IT'S A GREAT MAGAZINE, DAD! 368 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,593 UH, LOOK, SON, I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, 369 00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:38,335 BUT YOUR MOM AND I -- IT'S KIND OF LIKE YOU AND CLAIRE. 370 00:14:38,338 --> 00:14:40,088 YOU KNOW HOW YOU DON'T LIKE HER, 371 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,710 HOW JUST THE SIGHT OF HER MAKES YOUR SKIN CRAWL? 372 00:14:42,712 --> 00:14:43,882 YEAH. 373 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,473 WELL, THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR MOTHER. 374 00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:47,595 BUT THERE'S SOME GOOD THINGS ABOUT CLAIRE, TOO. 375 00:14:47,597 --> 00:14:48,927 SHE'S NOT ALL BAD. 376 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:49,809 REALLY? LIKE WHAT? 377 00:14:49,809 --> 00:14:51,809 I DON'T KNOW. LOTS OF THINGS. 378 00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:53,721 I CAN'T THINK OF ONE RIGHT NOW, 379 00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:56,903 BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I DON'T HATE HER ALL THE TIME. 380 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,606 WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE IT. YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING. 381 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:01,859 THAT'S BECAUSE IF I LET HER KNOW THAT I LIKE HER -- 382 00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:04,441 EVEN A LITTLE BIT -- SHE'LL WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME. 383 00:15:04,444 --> 00:15:06,244 SHE'LL CRAMP MY STYLE. 384 00:15:06,236 --> 00:15:09,526 WOW, JUNIOR, THIS HAS BEEN A REVELATION FOR ME. 385 00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,869 THANK YOU. YOU'VE OPENED MY EYES. 386 00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,161 I HAVE? 387 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:18,713 YEAH. I REALIZE THAT YOUR MOTHER IS CRAMPING MY STYLE. 388 00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,798 THANKS, SON. 389 00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,013 [ KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS ] 390 00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,005 HEY. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? 391 00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:28,507 YES. 392 00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:30,638 UM, MOM, WHEN PEOPLE ARE TOGETHER FOR A WHILE, 393 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,510 THERE'S A DANGER THAT THEY'LL TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED. 394 00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:38,064 UM, I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW YOU. 395 00:15:38,058 --> 00:15:40,558 HELLO! I'M OVER HERE! 396 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,980 OH. SORRY. 397 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,862 YOU AND DAD HAVE TO STOP THIS STUPID FIGHTING. 398 00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:46,414 WELL, WHY? 399 00:15:46,406 --> 00:15:48,736 YOU AND JUNIOR FIGHT ALL THE TIME. 400 00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:51,568 THAT'S BECAUSE YELLING IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET HIS ATTENTION. 401 00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,411 OH. 402 00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:56,343 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 403 00:15:56,336 --> 00:15:58,666 MOM, THE BOY EATS BEANS WITH HIS HANDS. 404 00:15:58,668 --> 00:16:01,338 I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S TRULY STUPID OR JUST LAZY, 405 00:16:01,341 --> 00:16:03,631 BUT EITHER WAY, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR HIM. 406 00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:05,183 OH, I GET IT. 407 00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,715 YELLING IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET YOUR DADDY'S ATTENTION. 408 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,007 THANKS, CLAIRE. 409 00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:11,589 I'M GLAD SOMEBODY UNDERSTANDS. 410 00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:12,721 [ GIGGLES ] 411 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,852 WAIT, I -- 412 00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:16,524 HOW'D IT GO? 413 00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:18,596 IT'S LIKE TALKING TO A WALL. 414 00:16:18,598 --> 00:16:20,978 YEAH. I DON'T THINK I GOT THROUGH TO DAD, EITHER. 415 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,480 TOLD YOU WE SHOULD TRY THE POWER OF SONG. 416 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,783 UH...NO. 417 00:16:25,775 --> 00:16:27,485 COME ON, JUNIOR, THINK. 418 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,607 [ SIGHS ] OW! 419 00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:31,990 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 420 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,371 I JUST GOT AN IDEA. 421 00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:34,613 HOW CAN YOU TELL? 422 00:16:34,614 --> 00:16:36,004 BECAUSE MY HEAD HURTS. 423 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,785 NOW, Shh! DON'T SAY ANYTHING OR IT WILL GO AWAY. 424 00:16:38,788 --> 00:16:40,958 DANG, I LOST IT! 425 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,500 OW! OKAY, BACK. 426 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,894 OKAY, HERE IT IS -- 427 00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:49,755 NUMBER ONE OF "101 WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR 'WO-MAN'" -- 428 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,929 A CANDLELIGHT DINNER FOR TWO. 429 00:16:51,931 --> 00:16:54,391 THAT IS A GREAT IDEA. 430 00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:57,274 I KNOW. WHAT'D I SAY? 431 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,937 THIS BETTER NOT BE A JOKE. 432 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,062 DAD, MEET MOM. 433 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,994 MOM, SAY HELLO TO DAD. 434 00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:07,525 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 435 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,317 WELL, WE KNOW HOW WE'VE BEEN STRESSING YOU GUYS OUT LATELY, 436 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,990 SO TO MAKE UP FOR IT, WE'VE COOKED YOU A ROMANTIC DINNER. 437 00:17:12,992 --> 00:17:15,542 AND WE HAVE SOME GREAT ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU, TOO. 438 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,075 SO WHILE I GO CHECK ON THE "HORSE DEE OVARIES"... 439 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,829 WHAT? 440 00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:23,250 I THINK HE MEANS HORS D'OEUVRES. 441 00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:24,793 THOSE THINGS. 442 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:29,344 SIT BACK, RELAX, AND ENJOY THE SEDUCTIVE SOUNDS OF LADY KYLE. 443 00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:35,352 [ GIGGLES ] 444 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,805 [ PLAYS NOTE ON HARMONICA ] 445 00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:45,529 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 446 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:52,985 ♪ HE-E-E-Y, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 447 00:17:52,992 --> 00:17:58,372 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪ 448 00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,498 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 449 00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:02,581 ALL RIGHT. 450 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,202 OH, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 451 00:18:04,204 --> 00:18:05,974 THERE'S MORE. 452 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,835 OH. OKAY. 453 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:12,257 ♪ DON'T FIGHT, LITTLE CRITTERS ♪ 454 00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:13,882 ♪ I WON'T FIGHT ♪ 455 00:18:13,883 --> 00:18:17,183 ♪ DON'T FIGHT, LITTLE CRITTERS ♪ 456 00:18:17,177 --> 00:18:19,807 ♪ I WON'T FIGHT ♪ 457 00:18:19,809 --> 00:18:26,319 ♪ DON'T FI-I-I-GHT, LITTLE CRITTERS ♪ 458 00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:29,896 ♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY ♪ 459 00:18:29,899 --> 00:18:32,319 [ Laughing ] OKAY, BABY. 460 00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:34,232 OH, THAT WAS SO SWEET. 461 00:18:34,234 --> 00:18:36,744 EXCUSE ME, LADY KYLE. 462 00:18:36,736 --> 00:18:38,326 THERE YOU GO. 463 00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:40,578 WHAT IS THAT SMELL? 464 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,790 [ GAGGING ] 465 00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,911 HERE WE HAVE DELICIOUS BITS OF SPAM 466 00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:47,133 FESTOONED WITH PUMPKIN SEEDS ON RITZ CRACKERS. 467 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,876 AND -- AND BLACKENED CATFISH. 468 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,959 WE'RE GONNA LET YOU OFF THE HOOK. 469 00:18:51,961 --> 00:18:54,011 HERE, BURY THIS. BURY THIS. 470 00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:55,433 EVERYBODY, SIT DOWN. SIT. 471 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:58,215 OKAY, LISTEN, YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ARGUING. 472 00:18:58,218 --> 00:19:00,178 WE'VE JUST BEEN PRETENDING TO FIGHT 473 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,100 BECAUSE WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS 474 00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:04,021 HOW ANNOYING AND DISRUPTIVE IT IS. 475 00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:06,943 AND YOU GUYS NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS -- WE ARE A FAMILY. 476 00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:08,726 YEAH, AND SOMETIMES FAMILIES FIGHT, 477 00:19:08,728 --> 00:19:11,478 BUT WHEN I HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE YOUR BROTHER 478 00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,481 AND HOW YOU WISH YOUR SISTER WOULD DIE, 479 00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:15,833 YOU'RE CROSSING THE LINE, AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR 480 00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:17,865 THAT KIND OF TALK IN THIS HOUSE ANYMORE. 481 00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:21,907 WELL, ACTUALLY, I DID FIND THREE THINGS ABOUT JUNIOR THAT I LIKE. 482 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,831 WELL, I WANT YOU TO SHARE THAT WITH HIM. 483 00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:27,343 WELL, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, AND I FEEL SAFE AROUND YOU, 484 00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:31,167 BUT MOST OF ALL, I FEEL REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SMART 485 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,670 WHEN I'M AROUND YOU. 486 00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,564 WHY, THANK YOU, CLAIRE. 487 00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:38,256 AND I HAVE MY LIST ABOUT CLAIRE. 488 00:19:38,258 --> 00:19:40,258 OKAY, I WANT YOU TO TELL HER THAT. 489 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,350 I LIKE YOUR CONFIDENCE, YOUR HUMOR, 490 00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:46,863 AND YOUR FRIEND TONYA WITH THE BIG BUTT. 491 00:19:46,856 --> 00:19:48,686 A-HA HA! A-HA HA! HEH! 492 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,268 [ SIGHS ] 493 00:19:51,861 --> 00:19:54,361 WELL, WE MADE SOME KIND OF BREAKTHROUGH. 494 00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:55,784 THIS IS GOOD. 495 00:19:55,775 --> 00:19:57,315 SO EVERYTHING'S OKAY? 496 00:19:57,317 --> 00:19:59,407 YES, BABY, EVERYTHING'S OKAY. 497 00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:00,619 YOU PROMISE? 498 00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,320 PROMISE. PROMISE. 499 00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:03,372 PINKIE SWEAR? 500 00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:05,423 PINKIE SWEAR. PINKIE SWEAR. 501 00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,165 SPIN-AROUND PINKIE SWEAR? 502 00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:10,916 SPIN AROUND... SPIN AROUND AND A PINKIE SWEAR. 503 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,920 HOP ON ONE LEG, SPIN-AROUND PINKIE SWEAR? 504 00:20:12,922 --> 00:20:16,012 OKAY, KID, YOU'RE ANNOYING ME. 505 00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:18,675 BUT YOU TWO HAVE TO KISS TO PROVE IT. 506 00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:20,968 [ SMOOCHES ] 507 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,890 THERE. YOU HAPPY? 508 00:20:22,892 --> 00:20:26,352 NO, A REAL KISS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK. 509 00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:36,073 OKAY. 510 00:20:36,065 --> 00:20:38,315 YOU CAN STOP NOW. 511 00:20:38,318 --> 00:20:41,408 THIS IS GETTING ICKY. 512 00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:42,951 [ SIGHS ] 513 00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:46,372 CLAIRE, JUNIOR, THERE'S GONNA BE A NEW BABY! 514 00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:51,868 HEY, BABE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 515 00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:54,541 I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW STUPID THIS MAGAZINE IS. 516 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:57,054 CHECK OUT THE 58th WAY TO PLEASE YOUR MAN. 517 00:20:57,046 --> 00:21:00,756 GREET HIM AT THE DOOR HOLDING A MARTINI WRAPPED IN CELLOPHANE. 518 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,800 [ LAUGHS ] 519 00:21:02,802 --> 00:21:05,482 YOU STILL THINK IT'S STUPID? 520 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:07,555 [ Laughing ] OH, MY! 521 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,807 COME HERE, WOMAN. 522 00:21:08,808 --> 00:21:10,978 HELP ME FIND THOSE OLIVES. 523 00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:13,730 [ LAUGHS ] 524 00:21:13,733 --> 00:21:15,783 OOH! 525 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,065 THIS IS GONNA BE THE SAFEST SEX WE EVER HAD, HUH? 526 00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:19,897 ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER -- ♪ 527 00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:21,779 DON'T SAY LITTLE. BIG CRITTER. 528 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,951 ♪ HEY, BIG CRITTER ♪ 529 00:21:23,953 --> 00:21:25,283 ♪ HEY, BIG -- ♪ 530 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,834 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 36367

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