Original subtitles

HEY. HEY.

SWEETIE, OOH, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.

WHAT'S UP, BABY?

MMM, HI. [ GIGGLES ]

MMM, WHAT IS THIS?

FILET MIGNON, MASHED POTATOES, AND MIXED VEGETABLES?

OH, WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG?

JUST BECAUSE I'M MAKING YOUR FAVORITE MEAL

DOESN'T MEAN I DID ANYTHING.

OH, NO?

NO.

SO, LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU TO RELAX

AND STOP BEING SO PARANOID.

OKAY. OKAY.

SO HOW MUCH IS IT GONNA COST ME?

I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.

I JUST NEED THREE HOURS OF YOUR TIME.

FOR SEX?

I DIDN'T SAY MINUTES.

I VOLUNTEERED TO DIRECT KADY'S KINDERGARTEN PLAY.

WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR?

TO BE MY ASSISTANT.

YOU MEAN YOUR FLUNKY.

NO, YOU ARE NOT A FLUNKY. YOU'RE A GOFER.

I GOTTA BE A JACKASS

IF I DON'T BELIEVE THAT GOFER MEANS FLUNKY.

YOU'RE THE ONE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT

PLAYING A MORE ACTIVE ROLE IN THE KIDS' EDUCATION.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

MY FATHER ONLY CAME TO SCHOOL ONCE, AND THAT WAS TO BEAT ME,

AND THEN HE LEFT RIGHT AWAY.

I JUST WANT TO STIMULATE AND CHALLENGE

THEIR LITTLE BABY BRAINS.

AND THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RAVE REVIEWS

MISS WIGGINS GOT LAST YEAR FOR "HANSEL AND GRETEL"?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

NOTHING.

OKAY, THEN I'LL HELP.

THANK YOU.

[ GIGGLES ]

HEY, GUYS, I GOT GREAT NEWS.

WE'RE PUTTING ON A SHOW!

IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN!

YOU WANT FAME?

WELL, FAME COSTS.

AND HERE'S WHERE YOU'RE GONNA START PAYING...

IN SWEAT.

ON YOUR FEET!

ON YOUR FEET, ON YOUR FEET.

ALL RIGHT, I HAVE SELECTED FOR US

SHAKESPEARE'S "ROMEO AND JULIET."

WHY "ROMEO AND JULIET"?

BECAUSE I DON'T SEE A MACBETH AMONGST YOU.

MISS WIGGINS DOESN'T MAKE US DO "ROMEO AND GIBLETS."

WELL, I DON'T SEE A MISS WIGGINS HERE.

DO YOU SEE A MISS WIGGINS HERE?

NOW, I THINK THAT ALL OF YOU ARE CAPABLE ENOUGH

TO DO A LITTLE SHAKESPEARE.

WHO'S SHAKESPEARE?

DEVIN, YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT SHAKESPEARE?

UNH-UNH. [ SNEEZES ]

EXCUSE ME.

YOU'RE EXCUSED. [ SNEEZES ]

BUT THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE THE REST OF YOU

FOR NOT KNOWING THE GREATEST PLAYWRIGHT THAT EVER LIVED.

WHAT IS THIS MISS WIGGINS TEACHING YOU?

COLORS.

COLORS.

WELL, I AM TRYING TO TEACH YOU THE COLOR OF THE LANGUAGE,

THE RHYTHM...

OF HIS PROSE.

PLEASE, LISTEN TO THIS.

IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD OF LOVE, PLAY ON.

WHAT DOES THAT SAY TO YOU?

McDONALD'S!

YAY! YAY! YAY!

MICHAEL, WHAT IS IT?

I GOT YOUR SANDWICH WITH THE MUSTARD.

WHERE'S MY SODA?

YOU WANT ME TO HAVE DRY MOUTH?

DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE DRY MOUTH?!

ALL RIGHT, YOU LITTLE GRUNTS!

BABY.

WHA-A-A-T?

DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE TOO HARD ON THE KIDS?

I'M WEEDING OUT THE RIFFRAFF BEFORE THE AUDITIONS.

WHAT HAPPENED TO "LET THEM HAVE FUN"?

WHAT'S ALL OF THAT ABOUT?

I AM LETTING THEM HAVE FUN, MICHAEL.

LOOK AT THEM. THEY'RE HAVING LOTS OF FUN.

BABY, LISTEN. I GOT AN IDEA, HUH? LISTEN TO THIS.

WHAT?

WHY DON'T WE JUST DO "HANSEL AND GRETEL" AGAIN?

THAT WAY, THEY KNOW THE DIALOGUE.

I AM NOT GONNA DO THE SAME PLAY

THAT THAT SMARTY-PANTS MISS WIGGINS DID!

NOW, LOOK, MICHAEL, WILL YOU PLEASE

JUST GO BACKSTAGE AND CHECK ON THE SCENERY, PLEASE?

BABY -- GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

[ SIGHS ] WELL, WELL, WELL.

IF IT ISN'T MISS WIGGINS.

THAT'S MISS WIGGINS? WOW!

SHUT UP, JUNIOR!

HEY, MRS. KYLE, YOU DON'T MIND IF I OBSERVE, DO YOU?

I CERTAINLY DO.

ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN, I WANT YOU TO GO OUTSIDE.

RUN A LAP AROUND THE FOOTBALL FIELD.

MRS. KYLE, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE PUSHING THESE KIDS

A LITTLE TOO HARD,

MAKING THEM A LITTLE TOO COMPETITIVE?

MISS WIGGINS, PARDON ME,

BUT I DON'T TRY TO TELL YOU HOW TO TEACH KINDERGARTEN,

NOW, DO I?

YES, YOU DO.

WELL, THOSE ARE ONLY SUGGESTIONS.

PLUS, HAVING SEEN YOUR "HANSEL AND GRETEL,"

IF I WERE YOU, I WOULDN'T BE GIVING ANYBODY

ANY ADVICE ON DIRECTING, OKAY?

IT'S FUNNY YOU SAY THAT ABOUT A PLAY

THAT RECEIVED A STANDING OVATION.

THEY WERE STANDING TO LEAVE. FOR FIVE MINUTES?

IT WAS A DUMB CROWD. I SAW YOU THERE.

GOOD LUCK TEACHING THESE KIDS SHAKESPEARE,

BECAUSE THEY HAVE DIFFICULTY MEMORIZING THE ALPHABET.

THAT SAYS MORE ABOUT YOUR TEACHING THAN MY DIRECTING.

YOU CALL MAKING THEM RUN LAPS DIRECTING?

HEY, LADIES.

LOOK, BABY, I THINK MAYBE YOU ARE PUSHING THE KIDS

A LITTLE TOO HARD.

MISS WIGGINS IS RIGHT.

WHAT, YOU TAKIN' SIDES NOW?

NO, I'M JUST SAYING --

WHAT, YOU MISS WIGGINS' MAN NOW?

YOU MR. WIGGINS?

NO.

WHAT, YOU WANNA GO HOME WITH MISS WIGGINS?

ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT THIS INSATIABLE DRIVE TO WIN

IS WHAT'S TEARING APART OUR SOCIETY.

COME ON. LET'S GO OUTSIDE.

HEY, WHOA!

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT, BUT, YOU KNOW --

WELL, YOU DONE FOUND ONE! SHE DONE FOUND ONE!

LISTEN, BABY, BABY. CALM DOWN, SLUGGER.

HEY, YOU, PUT THE EARRING AWAY.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET IN A FIGHT

WITH KADY'S KINDERGARTEN TEACHER?

I'M GONNA LET MY PLAY DO THE TALKING.

THE PLAY WILL DO THE TALKING. GO AHEAD, BABY.

WE'RE REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT, MISS WIGGINS.

I'M USED TO DEALING WITH CHILDREN.

SHE DONE STARTED IT NOW.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THE CHILDREN THING.

I AM NOT CHILDLIKE!

DOES SHE SEE A CHILD, MICHAEL?!

YOU BETTER NOT SEE NO CHILD, MR. WIGGINS!

I THINK THAT WENT PRETTY WELL.

WHOA. HEY.

LISTEN, WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED IN YOUR PAST

THAT TURNED YOU INTO DEMON DEBBIE ALLEN TODAY.

LOOK, I CAN'T, OKAY?

BABY, LISTEN -- NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M YOUR LOVER, YOUR CONFIDANT, YOUR FRIEND.

YOU MUST UNBURDEN YOURSELF.

I NEED TO KNOW.

I NEED TO KNOW THIS, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WELL...

WHEN I WAS IN THE SECOND GRADE,

THE CLASS PUT ON "GOLDILOCKS AND" -- OKAY, NO.

NO, NO, NO. THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S GOOD.

YOU GOT IT OUT. "GOLDILOCKS." KEEP GOING.

I MEMORIZED EVERY LINE, MICHAEL.

I KNEW IT. I HAD IT DOWN PAT.

YOU BECAME GOLDILOCKS, DIDN'T YOU?

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID. I SURE DID.

AND THE DAY OF THE AUDITIONS, THE TEACHER ASKED ME,

"WHAT PART ARE YOU AUDITIONING FOR?"

AND I SAID, "GOLDILOCKS," AND SHE LAUGHED AT ME.

MNH-MNH-MNH.

SHE LAUGHED AT ME, AND SHE SAID, "HERE'S A MUSTACHE.

YOU'RE AUDITIONING FOR PAPA BEAR."

THEN SHE LOOKED AT ME REAL CLOSE, SHE SAID,

"MNH-MNH, YOU DON'T EVEN NEED THE MUSTACHE."

BUT I BET YOU WERE A GREAT PAPA BEAR.

BABY, THEY MADE ME THE PAPA BEAR UNDERSTUDY.

SAY WHAT?

THAT'S RIGHT, MICHAEL.

FOR THREE YEARS, I SAT ON THE SIDELINES IN A HOT BEAR SUIT,

AND I SWORE, MICHAEL,

THAT I WOULD NEVER AGAIN COME IN SECOND

TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING EVER.

YOU KNOW, I KNEW YOU HAD SOME DARK STUFF IN YOUR PAST,

BUT NOW I REALIZE YOU'RE JUST PLAIN OLD CRAZY.

LOOK, MICHAEL, I KNOW I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY TODAY,

BUT I REALLY BELIEVE THAT I GOT THIS COMPETITION THING

UNDER CONTROL.

OKAY, WELL, I'M GONNA HELP YOU OUT,

'CAUSE TOMORROW WE HAVE THE AUDITIONS.

SO IF I THINK YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE OVERBOARD,

I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE SIGNAL.

OH, BABY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. LIKE WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW, SOMETHING SUBTLE.

I'LL JUST TAP YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

AND I'LL LEAN IN AND GO, "YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!"

SEE? I'M IN A BOX.

NOW I'M RUNNING IN A BOX.

NOW I'M DANCING IN A BOX.

YOU JUST HURT YOURSELF IN A BOX.

AND I HAVE A PUPPY, AND HIS NAME IS TIMMY.

AND I HAVE A GOLDFISH, AND HIS NAME IS FISHY.

AND MY HAMSTER, BOO-BOO, HE RIDES HIS WHEEL,

AND HE GOES AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND...

NEXT! NEXT!

[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]

OKAY, THANK YOU.

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

I SAID THANK YOU.

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

HEY! HEY!

THANK YOU.

PUT THE PEANUT...

IN THE PEANUT HOLE!

[ LAUGHS ]

♪ HEY, MR. RONSTEIN ♪

♪ HERE I A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM ♪

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

MAN!

STUPID...

[ IRISH MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ GROWLS ]

ARE YOU OKAY?

[ GROWLS ]

YOU ALL RIGHT?

[ GROWLS ]

I THINK THIS KID IS CRAZY.

I'M NOT CRAZY!

[ Together ] PUT THE PEANUT IN THE PEANUT HOLE!

I STILL DON'T GET IT.

I DON'T GET IT.

[ GASPS ] OH, LOOK!

METHINKS I SEE MY COUSIN'S GHOST

SEEKING OUT ROMEO, THAT DID SPIT HIS BODY

ON A RAPIER'S POINT.

STAY, TYBALT! STAY!

ROMEO, I COME.

THIS DO I DRINK TO THEE.

THAT WAS FANTASTIC!

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!

I THINK WE FOUND OUR JULIET.

NOT SO FAST, MICHAEL.

WE STILL HAVE ONE LAST ACTRESS TO GO,

AND I BELIEVE WE'VE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.

OH, LOOK!

ME STINKS I SEE MY COUSIN'S GOATS,

UH, SEEKING OUT LITTLE ROMEO,

WHO SPIT HIS BOOTY ON A RAPPER'S POINT...

...AND NOW I --

NOW I'M GONNA DRINK THIS ORANGE JUICE AND DIE.

I'M DEAD.

THANK GOD, 'CAUSE YOU WERE KILLING ME.

THAT'S OUR JULIET!

[ COUGHING ]

[ MOANING ]

I SAID, "A-CHOO!" AAH! WHAT?

WHAT, BABY? ARE YOU OKAY?

I FEEL AWFUL, MICHAEL.

[ SNEEZES, COUGHS ] OH, BABY...

DAMN THAT DEVIN.

WHO'S DEVIN?

THAT OLD OUTBREAK MONKEY THAT SNEEZED IN MY FACE!

OH.

OH, MICHAEL, I... NOW I'M SICK!

THE PLAY IS FIVE DAYS AWAY!

[ MOANS ]

OH, BABY, YOU GOT TO DIRECT THE PLAY.

ME? I CAN'T DIRECT 6-YEAR-OLDS IN SHAKESPEARE.

OH, MICHAEL, LOOK.

OBVIOUSLY YOU'LL NEVER BE AS GREAT AS I AM,

BUT, BABY, YOU GOT TO DO THIS FOR ME.

YOU GOT TO BEAT MISS WIGGINS. YOU GOT TO DO IT.

COME ON, BABY. [ MOANS, COUGHS ]

OKAY. I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT. DON'T START THE COUGHING.

THANK YOU SO --

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

BUT I NEED A KISS.

OKAY. RIGHT THERE.

THANK YOU. AHH.

BABY... HMM?

MAKE SURE KADY SHINES LIKE THE STAR SHE IS.

OKAY. KADY, YOU'RE OUT.

I'M NOT JULIET?

NO. RACHEL'S GONNA BE JULIET.

YAY! THAT'S THE BEST NEWS I HEARD ALL WEEK!

I GOT A BETTER PART FOR YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA BE THE WIND.

LET ME SEE YOU DO SOME WIND.

P-SHOO! P-SHOO!

SHOO!

OH, HO HO! YOU'RE GONNA BLOW US ALL AWAY WITH THAT.

I DON'T THINK MRS. KYLE IS GONNA LIKE THIS.

WELL, MRS. KYLE IS SICK,

SO I'M GONNA BE TAKING OVER FOR A WHILE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IS SHE DEAD?

NO, SHE'S NOT DEAD.

[ CHILDREN GROANING ]

HEY, HEY, BUT LISTEN -- SHE WILL DIE ONE DAY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

OKAY. NOW, LISTEN, SERIOUSLY.

I WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW THAT JUST BECAUSE MRS. KYLE IS OUT

DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT GONNA HAVE

THE SAME LEVEL OF COMMITMENT TO THIS PRODUCTION.

NOW, RUN ALONG AND PLAY.

YEAH!

I GOT TO FIGURE THIS OUT. COME ON.

MR. KYLE?

HMM?

I'M HAVING TROUBLE MEMORIZING SHAKESPEARE.

THE WORDS DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME.

WHAT ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE WITH?

WELL, FOR INSTANCE,

"HARK. WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS, "YO. THE SUN IS OUT."

LET ME DO A LITTLE DABBLING WITH THE SCRIPT,

AND I'LL MAKE ALL THE WORDS EASIER FOR EVERYBODY, OKAY?

WHY DON'T YOU RUN ALONG AND PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS?

[ SIGHS ]

[ WHISTLING ]

[ WHISTLING STOPS ]

HELLO, RACHEL.

WHAT MAKES YOU QUALIFIED TO BE IN CHARGE?

I MEAN, HAVE YOU GONE TO COLLEGE,

OR ARE YOU JUST A NOVICE?

WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M JUST TAKING OVER FOR MY WIFE

WHILE SHE'S SICK.

OH. I GET IT.

ANOTHER HENPECKED HUSBAND WITH NO BACKBONE.

WELL, I DON'T THINK ASSISTING YOUR WIFE WHILE SHE'S ILL

MAKES YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE.

YOU WOULDN'T. WELL, GOT TO GO.

MY DAD'S GONNA PICK ME UP IN A LITTLE WHILE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO MEET HIM. HE'S A REAL MAN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

AND WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU GENTLEMEN?

MR. KYLE, WE DON'T WANT TO DO "ROMEO AND JULIET."

WHY NOT? "ROMEO AND JULIET" IS A GREAT PLAY.

NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S A GIRL'S PLAY.

AND YOU ALL FEEL THAT WAY?

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

WE WANTED TO DO "JACK AND THE BEANSTALK,"

NOT STUPID OLD "ROMEO AND JULIET."

MY WIFE TOLD ME I CAN TAKE CREATIVE LICENSE.

WHY DON'T WE PUT SOME OF THE STUFF YOU GUYS WANT TO DO

IN THE PLAY?

WE CAN DO ANYTHING?

ANYTHING YOU WANT.

EVEN KARATE?

EVEN KARATE.

WE'LL MAKE IT LIKE "CROUCHING TIGER."

CAN BOYS KISS BOYS?

UH...NO.

BUT YOU CAN HELP CLAIRE OUT IN THE WARDROBE DEPARTMENT.

WARDROBE? YAY!

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

OKAY, GUYS. WE GOT A FULL HOUSE OUT THERE.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO GO OUT THERE, DON'T BE NERVOUS,

JUST FOCUS...AND HAVE FUN, HUH?

[ ALL CHEERING ]

YES!

MR. KYLE? YES, DEVIN?

BILLY HAS THE MUMPS.

OH, MAN!

WELL, WHO'S GONNA PLAY THE CYCLOPS?

WE CAN'T DO "ROMEO AND JULIET" WITHOUT A CYCLOPS.

YOU CAN BE THE CYCLOPS.

ME BE THE CYCLOPS?

WHY...I'M FLATTERED,

BUT I-I'VE NEVER DONE THEATER BEFORE.

I GUESS...IF YOU BEGGED ME.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

OKAY, OKAY.

GROUP HUG. GROUP HUG.

THIS JUST ISN'T WORKING.

WHAT? WHAT ISN'T WORKING?

YOUR LOOK -- IT'S SO SIX YEARS AGO.

YOU WEREN'T EVEN ALIVE SIX YEARS AGO.

IF I WERE, I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THAT OUTFIT.

REALLY?

REALLY.

HEY, WHERE'S MISS WIGGINS?

YOU LIKE HER, HUH?

OH, YEAH.

IF MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER LOOKED LIKE THAT,

I WOULD'VE STAYED FOR THREE YEARS INSTEAD OF TWO.

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU TO BE LUSTING AFTER

KADY'S KINDERGARTEN TEACHER, OKAY?

NOW, GET UP THERE IN THE RAFTERS

AND MOVE THAT SPOTLIGHT AROUND.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS ANY OF YOUR CUES.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE ALPHABET?

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

WELCOME TO THE KINDERGARTEN SCHOOL PLAY.

DESPITE NUMEROUS REQUESTS

FOR LAST YEAR'S SPECTACULAR "HANSEL AND GRETEL"...

OH, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHS ]

SPECTACULAR? WASN'T ALL THAT SPECTACULAR.

TONIGHT WE WILL BE PRESENTING A SELECTION

FROM THAT KINDERGARTEN FAVORITE WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.

SO SIT BACK, RELAX, TRY TO STAY AWAKE,

AS I PRESENT TO YOU "ROMEO AND JULIET --

THE FINAL CONFLICT."

THE FINAL WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

[ APPLAUSE ]

[ MID-TEMPO INTRODUCTION PLAYS ]

[ Rapping ] ♪ LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ♪

♪ ABOUT A DUDE AND DUDETTE ♪

♪ HIS NAME ROMEO, HER NAME JULIET ♪

♪ BOTH THEIR NINJA FAMILIES ♪

♪ WERE AT A WAR ♪

♪ BUT THOSE TWO KIDS IN LOVE FOREVERMORE ♪

♪ ONLY ONES WHO KNEW ♪

♪ WERE THE CAPULET CREW ♪

♪ A CYCLOPS NAMED MARK ♪

♪ AND A BIG, UGLY SHARK ♪

[ APPLAUSE ]

Okay.

[ SNAPS FINGERS ]

AH-CHOO!!

Get in. Get out there. Be the wind.

SHOO! SHOO! SHOO!

MY BABY IS THE WIND?

ROMEO, O ROMEO!

WHEREFORE ART THOU, ROMEO?

HERE I AM.

HYAH!

ROMEO, O ROMEO, WHO SHALL SAVE YOU, MY LOVE?

WHY, IT'S JACKIE CHAN!

[ SHRIEKING ]

[ THUD ]

UH-OH.

I'M GONNA KILL HIM.

Okay, go, Shark! Get in, Shark!

AAAAAAHH!

THIS IS GOING GREAT.

JULIET, MY FAIR MAIDEN,

I CANNOT FIND THEE!

WHERE THE HECK ARE YA?

HYAH!

AAAH!

[ SHRIEKS ]

OHH!

O ROMEO, YOU ARE MY HERO!

NOW WE CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

RRRRR!

AAAHH!

FE, FI-FO-FUGGIE,

I'M GONNA EAT YOU LIKE A BOOGIE!

OH, NO!

THE KILLER CYCLOPS!

AHHHHHHH!

HOW WILL YOU DEFEAT HIM?

[ Foreign accent ] SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!

OHHH! UGH!

I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!

[ GROANS ]

[ GROANS ]

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ ROMEO GOT THAT CYCLOPS ♪

♪ RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYE ♪

♪ THAT'S HOW THE STORY ENDED ♪

♪ AND IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE ♪

Hammer it out! Hammer it out!

AND REMEMBER...

Together: PUT A PEANUT IN THE PEANUT HOLE!

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND WE MUST THANK OUR DIRECTOR, MR. KYLE.

[ CHEERING ]

AND MRS. KYLE.

AND MRS. KYLE, TOO.

You hear that sound? That's the sound of victory --

a sound that you're not familiar with.

You're a twisted puppy, Mrs. Kyle.

HA HA HA HA HA!

Twisted.

YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER.

THANK YOU!

LET THE KIDS TAKE A BOW.

OH, YEAH.

LET THE KIDS TAKE A BOW.

TAKE YOUR BOWS.

WAIT. WAIT. I GET IT.

WHAT? YOU GET WHAT?

YOU PUT THE PEANUT IN THE PEANUT HOLE!

I STILL DON'T GET IT, MICHAEL.

YOU WILL.

HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY TO HAVE A MAN LIKE YOU?

DOTH BE RIGHT, MY FAIR MAIDEN.

BY THE WAY, ARE DOTH IN THE MOOD FOR SOME DOTHING?

UH, I MIGHTETH.

GOOD. I'LL SHARPEN MY SWORD.

AND I WILL SPANK THY UNTIL I CALL THY TALLYHO.

[ LAUGHING ]