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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,755 [ WHISTLING ] 2 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:07,837 GOOD MORNING. 3 00:00:07,838 --> 00:00:09,798 DADDY, STOP IT! 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,220 WHAT? CAN'T I KISS YOU GOOD MORNING? 5 00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:14,312 NO, IT'S GROSS! 6 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:16,095 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO CLAIRE? 7 00:00:16,097 --> 00:00:17,897 I'M JUST BEING A LOVING DAD. 8 00:00:17,898 --> 00:00:20,558 EW. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. SHE'S A TEENAGER. 9 00:00:20,561 --> 00:00:22,141 YOU KNOW WHAT? SOMETHING'S UP WITH THAT GIRL. 10 00:00:22,143 --> 00:00:24,023 I CAN FEEL IT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, 11 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,614 BUT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER. 12 00:00:25,606 --> 00:00:27,406 MAYBE WE SHOULD SIT HER DOWN. HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART. 13 00:00:27,408 --> 00:00:30,068 SHE'LL OPEN UP AND TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON IN HER LIFE. 14 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,781 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 15 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,452 THAT'S FUNNY. 16 00:00:33,454 --> 00:00:35,374 THANK YOU. I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, TOO. 17 00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:36,996 IMAGINE THAT. 18 00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:38,657 YEAH! 19 00:00:38,659 --> 00:00:40,999 HEY, BABY, WHY ARE YOU READING THAT PAPER LIKE THAT? 20 00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:42,921 I DON'T KNOW, I THINK THE PRINT IS SMALLER. 21 00:00:42,923 --> 00:00:45,133 ARE YOU STILL HAVING PROBLEMS WITH YOUR EYES? 22 00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,876 YESTERDAY, YOUR EYES WERE BURNING. 23 00:00:46,877 --> 00:00:48,007 TODAY, YOU CAN'T READ? 24 00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:49,378 YOU KNOW WHAT? 25 00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,720 I CAN STILL SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE. 26 00:00:51,722 --> 00:00:53,302 OH, THANK YOU, 27 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:55,564 BUT I'M MAKING YOU THE EYE APPOINTMENT RIGHT NOW. 28 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,476 AW, COME ON, JAY, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE EYE DOCTOR. 29 00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:00,269 I DON'T LIKE NOBODY POKING AROUND IN MY ORIFICES. 30 00:01:00,271 --> 00:01:01,731 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA GIVE YOU 31 00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:03,812 ONE MORE CHANCE TO PROTECT YOUR ORIFICES. 32 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,364 HOW MANY FINGERS DO I HAVE UP? 33 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:06,566 LET ME SEE. 34 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,897 Uh, how many fingers your mother got up? 35 00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,030 Two. 36 00:01:11,031 --> 00:01:12,071 TWO. 37 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,502 WRONG. 38 00:01:14,495 --> 00:01:16,995 WHAT? TECHNICALLY, A THUMB IS NOT A FINGER. 39 00:01:16,997 --> 00:01:18,287 SEE, THE OPPOSABLE THUMB 40 00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:19,749 IS WHAT SETS US APART FROM OTHER ANIMALS. 41 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,750 REALLY? LET ME SEE THAT THUMB. 42 00:01:21,752 --> 00:01:23,792 AHHH! OWW! HEY! 43 00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:25,424 WHAT'S THE MATTER? "THUMBTHING" THE MATTER? 44 00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,296 SOMETHING HURT -- "THUMBTHING"? 45 00:01:27,298 --> 00:01:29,378 I SWEAR, YOU AS BAD AS KADY, MICHAEL. 46 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,550 YOU KNOW WHAT, AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE IS SHE? 47 00:01:31,552 --> 00:01:32,922 SHE'S HIDING AGAIN. 48 00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:34,093 ISN'T SHE A LITTLE BIT TOO OLD 49 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,644 FOR THIS HIDE-AND-SEEK STUFF? 50 00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:37,596 NO, SHE'S STILL TRYING TO HANG ON TO BEING A BABY. 51 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,978 THEY ALL DO IT. REMEMBER? JUNIOR WAS 15 52 00:01:38,979 --> 00:01:39,979 WHEN WE GOT RID OF MR. BUNNY. 53 00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:41,520 OH, YEAH. 54 00:01:41,522 --> 00:01:43,812 GOT RID OF HIM? YOU TOLD ME HE RAN AWAY. 55 00:01:43,814 --> 00:01:45,824 YOU KNOW WHAT? HE SURE DID RAN AWAY. 56 00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:46,986 YEAH, HE RAN AWAY. 57 00:01:46,987 --> 00:01:48,647 HE HOPPED RIGHT OUT OF HERE. 58 00:01:48,649 --> 00:01:50,729 THE EARS WAS FLYING BACK LIKE THAT. 59 00:01:50,731 --> 00:01:52,731 SO, WHERE'S YOUR SISTER HIDING? 60 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,996 I'LL GET HER. 61 00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:02,199 WHERE IS MY BABY? IS SHE UNDER THE COUCH? 62 00:02:02,203 --> 00:02:03,913 NO, SHE'S NOT UNDER THE COUCH. 63 00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:05,634 IS SHE IN THIS PLANT? 64 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,626 NO, NOT IN THE PLANT EITHER. 65 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,169 THE ONLY THING OVER HERE IS A BUNCH OF COATS. 66 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,882 WAIT A MINUTE. 67 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,223 COATS DON'T HAVE LEGS! 68 00:02:15,216 --> 00:02:18,056 YOU FOUND ME AGAIN! I HATE IT! 69 00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:20,098 I'M SORRY! 70 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,100 DAD? NO. 71 00:02:21,101 --> 00:02:22,101 PLEASE? NO. 72 00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:23,432 COME ON. NO. 73 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,774 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS. 74 00:02:24,765 --> 00:02:27,815 OKAY. NO. 75 00:02:27,818 --> 00:02:30,688 I JUST WANT PERMISSION TO USE MY CAR SATURDAY NIGHT. 76 00:02:30,691 --> 00:02:32,571 I'VE GOT A HOT DATE WITH... 77 00:02:32,573 --> 00:02:34,783 ALICIA. [ CHUCKLES ] 78 00:02:34,775 --> 00:02:36,235 YOU KNOW WHAT? WHEN YOU SAY A GIRL'S NAME 79 00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:38,327 LIKE THAT, IT FRIGHTENS ME. 80 00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:39,489 SAY IT LIKE WHAT? 81 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:43,040 ALICIA. [ CHUCKLES ] 82 00:02:43,043 --> 00:02:44,713 IT SOUNDS LIKE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DATE, 83 00:02:44,705 --> 00:02:46,125 A CURTAIN COMES DOWN, 84 00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:47,746 AND YOU GOTTA INSERT ANOTHER QUARTER TO CONTINUE. 85 00:02:47,748 --> 00:02:49,338 [ CHUCKLES ] 86 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,000 OH, COME ON, DAD, MY CAR'S IN EXCELLENT SHAPE. 87 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,003 OKAY, MAYBE NOT EXCELLENT, 88 00:02:54,004 --> 00:02:55,304 BUT IT'S DRIVABLE. 89 00:02:56,387 --> 00:02:58,507 OKAY, MAYBE NOT DRIVABLE, 90 00:02:58,509 --> 00:03:00,099 BUT WITH A GOOD PUSH AND THE RIGHT WIND, 91 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,060 IT WOULD BE JUST LIKE TAKING A DRIVE. 92 00:03:02,062 --> 00:03:03,892 AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? 93 00:03:03,894 --> 00:03:06,694 SOMEWHERE DOWNHILL. 94 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,357 YOU HAVE NO BRAKES. 95 00:03:08,359 --> 00:03:10,859 EITHER WAY, THE NIGHT COULD END WITH A BANG, HUH? 96 00:03:10,861 --> 00:03:11,861 [ CHUCKLES ] BANG! 97 00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,692 [ Laughing ] A BANG! BOOM! 98 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,244 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 99 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,316 NO. 100 00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:20,029 YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH 101 00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:22,160 TO BE BEHIND THE WHEEL, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. 102 00:03:22,162 --> 00:03:24,542 BUT I PASSED THE "DMV" TEST. 103 00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:27,876 YOU MEAN THE D.M.V.? 104 00:03:27,878 --> 00:03:30,328 YEAH, SHORT FOR "DMV." 105 00:03:33,674 --> 00:03:36,474 OKAY, YOU MAY HAVE PASSED THE "DMV" TEST, 106 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,967 BUT YOU NEED TO PASS THE D.A.D. TEST. 107 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,179 YOU TELL ME WHEN. 108 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:41,890 I WILL DO THAT. OKAY, THANKS. 109 00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:43,342 I JUST MADE THE APPOINTMENT FOR THIS AFTERNOON 110 00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:44,774 AT DR. LING'S. 111 00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:46,145 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S GREAT. 112 00:03:46,146 --> 00:03:49,186 LISTEN, YOU CAN DRIVE ME TO THE EYE DOCTOR, 113 00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:50,649 AND I WILL TEST YOU ON THE WAY. 114 00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:52,651 OH, THANKS, DAD. AND I WON'T LET YOU DOWN. 115 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:02,530 [ GIGGLES ] YOU CAN'T FIND ME, MOMMY! 116 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,203 WHERE IS THAT KADY? 117 00:04:04,204 --> 00:04:07,084 [ SIGHS ] IS SHE UNDER THIS BED? 118 00:04:07,077 --> 00:04:09,867 NO, SHE'S NOT UNDER THE BED. 119 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,420 OKAY, YOU KNOW, 120 00:04:11,422 --> 00:04:13,672 I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO MAKE THIS BED 121 00:04:13,674 --> 00:04:16,264 ALL BY MYSELF. 122 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,136 THAT KADY SURE IS A GOOD HIDER. 123 00:04:19,139 --> 00:04:22,179 [ Yawning ] OH, ALL THIS WORK IS MAKING ME TIRED. 124 00:04:22,182 --> 00:04:25,442 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA LAY DOWN ON THE BED. 125 00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:27,306 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 126 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:30,228 AHH! THIS IS A LUMPY BED! WHAT IS THIS?! 127 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:31,520 AAH! AAH! 128 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,352 THIS LUMP HAS FEET! 129 00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:36,614 EW! [SPITS] P.U. STINKY FEET, TOO! 130 00:04:36,607 --> 00:04:37,987 [ GIGGLES ] 131 00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:39,988 THIS BED DOESN'T HAVE STINKY FEET. 132 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:41,490 THEY'RE MINE. I TRICKED YOU. 133 00:04:41,492 --> 00:04:43,242 YOU SURE DID! 134 00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:45,333 NOW, GET UP AND HELP ME MAKE THE BED, OKAY? 135 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,536 YOU GET THAT SIDE UP THERE... 136 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,788 AND MOMMY WILL DO THIS SIDE... 137 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,910 AND THIS SIDE AND THAT SIDE. 138 00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:53,542 UHH. PULL IT HARDER. 139 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,724 WHY DID YOU STOP, MOMMY? 140 00:04:55,716 --> 00:04:57,796 HUH? UH... 141 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,678 BECAUSE I NEED YOU TO FIND OUT WHAT TIME IT IS FOR ME. 142 00:05:00,681 --> 00:05:02,131 BUT YOU'RE WEARING A WATCH. 143 00:05:02,132 --> 00:05:03,682 THIS IS UPSTAIRS TIME. 144 00:05:03,684 --> 00:05:05,144 I NEED YOU TO GO FIND OUT WHAT TIME IT IS DOWNSTAIRS. 145 00:05:05,135 --> 00:05:06,595 GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD. 146 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,427 DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME, BUT OKAY. 147 00:05:08,429 --> 00:05:09,559 OKAY. 148 00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:16,935 NO, NO, NO, THIS IS CLAIRE'S DIARY. 149 00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:19,317 MY MOTHER DID THAT TO ME. 150 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,699 I'D BE NO BETTER THAN MY MOTHER WHEN SHE DID IT. 151 00:05:21,702 --> 00:05:24,242 BUT I AIN'T MY MOTHER'S CHILD NOW. 152 00:05:24,244 --> 00:05:27,454 AND SHE HAS BEEN ACTING STRANGE LATELY. 153 00:05:27,448 --> 00:05:29,038 I MEAN, YOU KNOW... 154 00:05:29,039 --> 00:05:32,039 I WOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY IF IT JUST... 155 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:36,012 FELL ON THE FLOOR AND OPENED UP BY ITSELF. 156 00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:38,216 COME ON, MAN. [ SIGHS ] 157 00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:41,048 ACCIDENTALLY OPEN. 158 00:05:43,424 --> 00:05:46,354 MAN. OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH. 159 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,136 OOPS, I TRIPPED AND JIMMIED THE LOCK. 160 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,391 [ Sighing ] OKAY, LET'S SEE. 161 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,353 "HATE SCHOOL," "HATE MY LIFE," 162 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,944 "HATE MY BROTHER," 163 00:05:55,936 --> 00:05:57,356 "I LOVE NSYNC." 164 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,477 "HATE MY MOTHER," "HATE MY MOTHER," 165 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,690 "HATE MY MOTHER," "HATE MY MOTHER." 166 00:06:01,692 --> 00:06:03,982 OH, "HATE MY FATHER." 167 00:06:05,536 --> 00:06:07,286 WHAT IS THIS? 168 00:06:08,579 --> 00:06:11,039 NO, YOU ARE NOT. 169 00:06:18,338 --> 00:06:20,298 OKAY, THIS IS THE PLACE. HOP OUT. 170 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,170 ARE YOU GONNA JUST PARK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET? 171 00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:25,223 COME ON, PARK THE CAR RIGHT THERE. 172 00:06:25,215 --> 00:06:27,555 BUT THERE ARE A WHOLE LOT OF OPEN SPACES UP THERE. 173 00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:28,808 YEAH, BUT THIS IS THE TEST. 174 00:06:28,809 --> 00:06:31,099 I WANT TO SEE YOU PARALLEL PARK. 175 00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:32,271 IF YOU SAY SO. 176 00:06:32,272 --> 00:06:35,522 OH, DEAR GOD! 177 00:06:36,777 --> 00:06:38,437 [ SIGHS ] 178 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:41,019 SO, HOW WAS THAT? 179 00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:42,481 I'M FRIGHTENED. 180 00:06:42,483 --> 00:06:44,153 BUT I'M IMPRESSED. 181 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,084 I TOLD YOU I WAS A GOOD DRIVER. 182 00:06:46,076 --> 00:06:47,656 YEAH, I'M SURPRISED. 183 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,488 YOU KNOW, I'M EVEN THINKING OF TAKING IT UP 184 00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,660 AS A PROFESSION. 185 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,491 WELL, THAT WOULD BE GREAT, SON. 186 00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:54,963 YOU COULD BE, LIKE, THE NEXT MARIO ANDRETTI. 187 00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:56,205 WHO? 188 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,126 MARIO ANDR-- HE'S A RACE-CAR DRIVER. 189 00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:00,298 NO, I MEANT BEING A DRIVER LIKE HOKE 190 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,750 FROM "DRIVING MISS DAISY." 191 00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:03,672 I "HOKE" THAT'S A JOKE. 192 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:08,216 LOOK, I'M GOING INSIDE HERE. I'LL BE OUT IN A LITTLE WHILE. 193 00:07:08,218 --> 00:07:09,848 I WANT YOU TO STAY PUT. 194 00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:12,510 DO NOT MOVE THIS CAR UNLESS A METER MAID COME. 195 00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:14,863 THEN YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DRIVE IT. 196 00:07:14,855 --> 00:07:16,395 UH, YES, SIR, MR. KYLE. 197 00:07:16,396 --> 00:07:18,686 WATCH YOUR STEP GETTIN' OUT, SIR. 198 00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:23,061 I'M HANNIBAL LECTER. 199 00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:24,703 HELLO, CLARICE. 200 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:28,695 I'M HAVING SOME COMPANY OVER FOR DINNER. 201 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,699 [ SNORTING, SNIFFING, MUTTERING ] 202 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,084 SO, MR. KYLE... 203 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:38,837 HOW ARE YOU? 204 00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:40,289 GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 205 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,880 GOOD. WHAT MOTIVATED YOUR VISIT TODAY? 206 00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,553 MY WIFE. [ CHUCKLES ] 207 00:07:44,545 --> 00:07:46,045 YOUR EYES AREN'T BOTHERING YOU? 208 00:07:46,046 --> 00:07:49,886 NOT AS MUCH AS MY WIFE. [ LAUGHS ] 209 00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:51,350 WELL, ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN HAVING 210 00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:52,511 A LITTLE TROUBLE READING, THAT'S ALL. 211 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,183 YES, I NOTICED THAT ON YOUR CHART 212 00:07:54,184 --> 00:07:56,274 YOU CHECKED OFF THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT. 213 00:07:56,266 --> 00:07:57,766 OH, REALLY? THAT COULD BE. 214 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,768 I HAVEN'T HAD A PERIOD IN OVER 40 YEARS. 215 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,690 [ LAUGHS ] 216 00:08:01,692 --> 00:08:04,102 HELLO, MR., UH... 217 00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:05,284 KYLE. 218 00:08:05,275 --> 00:08:06,485 KYLE. 219 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,276 KYLE. I'M DR. LING. 220 00:08:08,278 --> 00:08:10,698 DR. LING, WHAT'S THE FIRST NAME -- "DING-A"? 221 00:08:10,701 --> 00:08:11,991 NO. 222 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,782 YOU DON'T GET IT -- "DING-A-LING." 223 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:16,834 OKAY, LET'S JUST DO THE EYES. 224 00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,707 DR. LING, YOUR WIFE IS ON THE PHONE. 225 00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:19,999 EXCUSE ME. 226 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,170 WHAT'S HER NAME -- CAROL...LING? 227 00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:24,502 NO, HER NAME IS CHITTA -- CHITTA LING. 228 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,134 [ LAUGHS ] I LIKE THAT -- CHITTA LING. 229 00:08:28,128 --> 00:08:30,218 WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT CHITTA? THAT'S HER NAME. 230 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,760 OH. 231 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:34,012 OKAY, WELL, GO CHAT WITH CHITTA. 232 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,564 WHEN I GET BACK, WE'LL DO THE EYE CHART. 233 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,227 OKAY. 234 00:08:41,942 --> 00:08:44,442 NO WAY I'M GONNA FAIL THIS ONE. 235 00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:52,240 OKAY, MR. KYLE. 236 00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:55,664 LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE? 237 00:08:55,656 --> 00:08:57,616 THIS IS A GREAT CHAIR HERE, DOC. 238 00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:58,918 THANK YOU. 239 00:08:58,919 --> 00:09:01,369 SO HOW'S YOUR WIFE -- CHITTA? 240 00:09:01,371 --> 00:09:03,581 SHE'S FINE. 241 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:06,594 SHE'S AT HOME TAKING CARE OF MY BOY -- 242 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,587 DUCK...LING. 243 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,429 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 244 00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:12,050 DUCK! 245 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,222 OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 246 00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:20,437 NOW... 247 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,890 PLEASE, MR. KYLE, STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE. 248 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,904 OKAY. SURE. 249 00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:27,526 NOW... 250 00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:32,317 COVER YOUR LEFT EYE AND READ THE THIRD LINE. 251 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:36,702 OKEYDOKEY. NO PROBLEMO. [ LAUGHS ] 252 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,828 UH... 253 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,500 THAT'S, UH, 254 00:09:42,502 --> 00:09:44,922 "G"... 255 00:09:44,915 --> 00:09:47,255 QUESTION MARK, 3... 256 00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:50,879 EXCLAMATION POINT... 257 00:09:52,973 --> 00:09:54,303 "M," "O," "O," 258 00:09:54,304 --> 00:09:55,724 "G." 259 00:09:55,716 --> 00:09:57,926 MR. KYLE, CAN YOU READ THE FIRST LINE? 260 00:09:57,928 --> 00:09:59,598 CERTAINLY. 261 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,679 THAT WOULD BE "S." 262 00:10:02,683 --> 00:10:04,783 PLEASE, COME HAVE A SEAT. 263 00:10:04,775 --> 00:10:06,525 SO HOW ARE MY EYES, DOC? 264 00:10:06,526 --> 00:10:08,026 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DILATE YOUR EYES 265 00:10:08,028 --> 00:10:09,528 AND DO A FEW TESTS ON YOU. 266 00:10:09,529 --> 00:10:12,569 NOW, JUST SIT YOUR HEAD BACK AND RELAX FOR ME, OKAY? 267 00:10:12,572 --> 00:10:14,072 NOW, MR. KYLE, YOUR VISION -- 268 00:10:14,074 --> 00:10:15,504 OW! 269 00:10:15,495 --> 00:10:18,035 IS GONNA BE BLURRY FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. 270 00:10:18,038 --> 00:10:20,198 WHAT ABOUT MY HEARING? 271 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,240 WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH YOUR HEARING? 272 00:10:22,242 --> 00:10:23,912 HUH? 273 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,384 I SAID WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH YOUR HEARING? 274 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,745 COME AGAIN. I CAN'T SEE YOU. [ LAUGHS ] 275 00:10:27,748 --> 00:10:29,048 YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER. 276 00:10:29,049 --> 00:10:30,749 DID YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU A CAB? 277 00:10:30,751 --> 00:10:32,921 ACTUALLY, YOU COULD CALL ME A CABERNET, 278 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:35,433 BECAUSE I GET BETTER WITH TIME. 279 00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:37,255 [ LAUGHS ] 280 00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:38,677 OH, STILL LAUGHING. 281 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,599 WELL, ACTUALLY, I WON'T NEED A CAB. 282 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,430 MY SON IS HERE TO PICK ME UP. 283 00:10:42,432 --> 00:10:45,362 JUST POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF A BLACK LINCOLN. 284 00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:46,525 WHAT BLACK LINCOLN? 285 00:10:46,526 --> 00:10:48,526 THERE'S NO BLACK LINCOLN? 286 00:10:58,278 --> 00:10:59,578 HEY, POP. 287 00:10:59,579 --> 00:11:01,199 DON'T "HEY, POP" ME. I'LL POP YOU! 288 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:02,871 WHAT'S WRONG? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG. 289 00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:04,753 YOU LEFT ME STRANDED AT THE EYE DOCTOR. 290 00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:06,245 I HAD TO TAKE A CAB HOME! 291 00:11:06,246 --> 00:11:07,376 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I TIPPED THE GUY! 292 00:11:07,377 --> 00:11:09,547 OKAY, I KNOW YOU'RE ANGRY. 293 00:11:09,549 --> 00:11:11,589 HELL, YEAH, I'M ANGRY! 294 00:11:11,591 --> 00:11:13,421 I'LL TELL YOU WHY I'M ANGRY! I'M MAD AS HELL! 295 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,263 BUT TECHNICALLY, I'M IN THE RIGHT. 296 00:11:15,255 --> 00:11:18,795 OH, YEAH? WELL, WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN TO ME 297 00:11:18,799 --> 00:11:21,969 HOW YOU CAN BE IN THE RIGHT? 298 00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,982 YOU SAID IF A METER MAID CAME, I COULD MOVE THE CAR. 299 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,475 KEEP TALKING. 300 00:11:26,476 --> 00:11:28,936 SO A METER MAID CAME, 301 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:31,609 AND I MOVED THE CAR... 302 00:11:31,611 --> 00:11:33,021 TO ALICIA'S HOUSE. 303 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:34,653 HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET HOME? 304 00:11:34,654 --> 00:11:36,824 WELL, YOU SAID FOR ME TO DRIVE YOU TO THE DOCTOR. 305 00:11:36,817 --> 00:11:38,697 TECHNICALLY, YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING 306 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,908 ABOUT ME DRIVING YOU BACK FROM THE DOCTOR. 307 00:11:40,911 --> 00:11:43,201 SO, TECHNICALLY, I'M STILL IN THE RIGHT. 308 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,663 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 309 00:11:44,664 --> 00:11:46,424 YOU'RE A VERY TECHNICAL YOUNG MAN THESE DAYS, 310 00:11:46,416 --> 00:11:48,876 SO I'M GONNA BE VERY TECHNICAL ABOUT YOUR PUNISHMENT. 311 00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:51,089 NO DRIVING FOR YOU WHATSOEVER. 312 00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:53,131 I DON'T WANT YOU DRIVING MY CAR, 313 00:11:53,133 --> 00:11:54,893 YOUR CAR, YOUR MOTHER'S CAR. 314 00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:58,255 I DON'T WANT YOU IN A CLOWN CAR, A CABLE CAR, A BOX CAR. 315 00:11:58,258 --> 00:12:01,138 YOU CAN'T WATCH "CARTOONS." 316 00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:04,771 I DON'T WANT YOU DOING ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH DRIVING -- 317 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,765 NO DRIVING GAMES, NO "DRIVING MISS DAISY." 318 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,768 AND YOU KNOW WHAT -- I'M PUNISHING YOU AN EXTRA WEEK 319 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,561 BECAUSE YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY. 320 00:12:12,562 --> 00:12:14,952 BUT WHAT ABOUT MY DATE WITH ALICIA SATURDAY NIGHT? 321 00:12:14,945 --> 00:12:17,565 YOU'RE TALKING SEX DRIVE. THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. 322 00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:18,907 OKAY? 323 00:12:18,909 --> 00:12:20,739 LET ME FEEL YOUR FACE WHEN I SAY THIS. 324 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:25,170 TECHNICALLY, YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A MONTH. 325 00:12:25,165 --> 00:12:28,165 OH, I LIKE THE WAY THAT FEELS. 326 00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:31,668 I LIKE THE WAY THAT FEELS. 327 00:12:31,671 --> 00:12:34,371 NOW BE GONE. 328 00:12:43,343 --> 00:12:46,313 HEY. WHAT DID DR. LING HAVE TO SAY? 329 00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:49,346 HMM. HE SAYS THAT I'M GETTING OLDER. 330 00:12:49,349 --> 00:12:50,849 I GOT PRESBYOPIA. 331 00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:52,231 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 332 00:12:52,232 --> 00:12:54,022 IT MEANS THAT IF I WANT TO READ SOMETHING, 333 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,784 I GOT TO WEAR GLASSES NOW. 334 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,065 WELL, I HAVE SOME NEWS THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY HAPPY 335 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,489 THAT YOU CAN'T READ -- CLAIRE'S DIARY. 336 00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:03,161 UNH-UNH, BABY, LOOK. 337 00:13:03,163 --> 00:13:05,623 WE CAN'T READ OUR DAUGHTER'S PRIVATE THOUGHTS. 338 00:13:05,615 --> 00:13:07,035 I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE SO WRONG. 339 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,327 HUH? 340 00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:12,671 IT WOULD BE WRONG, AND I'M SURPRISED 341 00:13:12,672 --> 00:13:13,912 THAT YOU WOULD DO THAT. 342 00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:15,264 OH. 343 00:13:15,255 --> 00:13:17,045 START ON PAGE ONE. 344 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,507 WELL, THIS IS ALL YOU REALLY HAVE TO HEAR. 345 00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:22,759 "DEAR DIARY, TODAY I REALIZED FOR THE FIRST TIME 346 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:24,302 "THAT TONY IS THE ONE. 347 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,774 "NO OTHER GUY HAS EVER TREATED ME SO WELL 348 00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,426 "AND HAS BEEN SO DESERVING. 349 00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:31,518 I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME TO TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER." 350 00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:37,735 DAMN THAT TONY! 351 00:13:37,737 --> 00:13:39,487 I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH HER. 352 00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,239 THAT'S WHY SHE'S PUSHING ME AWAY, 353 00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:43,241 SO SHE CAN CLOSER TO THAT BIG-HEADED BOY. 354 00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,573 YEAH, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, 355 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,544 IS THAT THE BOY IS VERY, VERY RELIGIOUS. 356 00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:49,446 YEAH, WE ALL KNOW WHAT HE'S PRAYING FOR. 357 00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,291 I JUST HOPE THAT MY BABY 358 00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:56,463 IS SMART ENOUGH TO RESIST HIS TEMPTATION. 359 00:13:56,456 --> 00:13:57,666 WELL, MICHAEL, YOU KNOW, THESE ISSUES 360 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,087 ARE REALLY TOUGH ON TEENAGERS. 361 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,459 YOU KNOW HOW IT WAS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG. 362 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,300 YEAH, BUT YOU WERE EASY. WHAT?! 363 00:14:02,302 --> 00:14:04,632 I MEAN, TO LOVE -- JUST EASY -- 364 00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:07,684 JUST SO VERY EASY TO GET ALONG WITH. 365 00:14:07,677 --> 00:14:09,927 [ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ] 366 00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:26,575 [ DOOR SLAMS, MUSIC STOPS ] 367 00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:27,576 AAAH! 368 00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:29,367 AAAH! WHAT HAPPENED? 369 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,369 NOTHING. 370 00:14:33,793 --> 00:14:35,593 OH, MY GOD. WHAT DID I DO? 371 00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,165 NOTHING YET, WE HOPE. 372 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,797 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 373 00:14:38,798 --> 00:14:40,918 YOUR FATHER READ YOUR DIARY. YOU DID WHAT?! 374 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,131 BABY... 375 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,962 PLEASE FORGIVE HIM. 376 00:14:43,964 --> 00:14:46,474 HE CARES ABOUT YOU SO MUCH, HE JUST COULDN'T STOP HIMSELF. 377 00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:48,676 THIS IS A TOTAL VIOLATION OF MY PRIVACY! 378 00:14:48,678 --> 00:14:50,348 THIS IS A BETRAYAL! 379 00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,850 YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF BETRAYAL GOING AROUND THIS HOUSE. 380 00:14:52,852 --> 00:14:54,182 BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER. 381 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,484 NOW, YOU SIT DOWN, YOUNG LADY. 382 00:14:55,475 --> 00:14:56,515 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT 383 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,896 HOW PRIVACY WORK IN THIS HOUSE. 384 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,318 THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS -- 385 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,780 MICHAEL, SHE'S OVER THERE SITTING DOWN. 386 00:15:02,782 --> 00:15:06,292 WHERE? RIGHT DOWN HERE. 387 00:15:06,286 --> 00:15:09,156 LET ME TELL YOU HOW PRIVACY WORK IN THIS HOUSE. 388 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:11,529 NOBODY HAS NO PRIVACY IN THIS HOUSE. 389 00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:12,871 THIS IS SO NOT FAIR. 390 00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:13,872 YEAH, IT'S NOT FAIR, 391 00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:15,343 BUT IT'S HAPPENING, OKAY? 392 00:15:15,335 --> 00:15:16,875 NOW, YOUR MOTHER GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU 393 00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:20,206 ABOUT WHAT I READ IN YOUR DIARY WHEN I WAS BLIND. 394 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,252 GO AHEAD, BABY, YOU -- YOU... 395 00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:25,644 OKAY. TELL HER. 396 00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:27,045 CLAIRE... 397 00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:29,467 WOW. YOU GOT SOME NICE STUFF IN THIS ROOM -- 398 00:15:29,469 --> 00:15:31,309 SOFT PILLOWS. 399 00:15:35,475 --> 00:15:37,765 CLAIRE, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SEX. 400 00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:39,437 UGH! 401 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,519 WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WERE GONNA TALK ABOUT, MICHAEL? 402 00:15:41,521 --> 00:15:42,981 I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST GONNA YELL AT HER AND PUNISH HER 403 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,273 AND LOCK HER IN HER ROOM OR SOMETHING. 404 00:15:44,274 --> 00:15:45,744 NO, WE'RE ALREADY IN HER ROOM. 405 00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:47,195 OKAY, WELL, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS. 406 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,567 WELL, I'M GETTING READY TO TALK ABOUT SEX. 407 00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:49,568 SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, 408 00:15:49,569 --> 00:15:51,529 SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX! 409 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:55,883 WE'VE ALREADY HAD THE SEX TALK. 410 00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:57,835 NO, BABY, WE HAD THE BIOLOGY TALK. 411 00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:00,877 I NEVER TOLD YOU THE REAL STUFF, AS A WOMAN. 412 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,630 CLAIRE, I KNOW THAT YOU, LIKE MANY OTHER YOUNG GIRLS YOUR AGE, 413 00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,894 HAVE THIS ROMANTIC IDEA ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK 414 00:16:06,886 --> 00:16:08,386 THE FIRST TIME IS GONNA BE LIKE. 415 00:16:08,388 --> 00:16:10,428 BUT TRUST ME -- IT IS NOTHING LIKE THAT. 416 00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:11,800 Michael: THAT'S RIGHT. AIN'T NOTHING LIKE THAT. 417 00:16:11,801 --> 00:16:13,221 MICHAEL! 418 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:16,603 JUST WALKING BY, BABY. JUST WALKING BY. 419 00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:20,016 THE FIRST TIME -- IT'S CLUMSY. 420 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,730 BOYS YOUR AGE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. 421 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,691 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 422 00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:25,493 HALF THE MEN MY AGE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. 423 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,905 HOW THE HELL YOU KNOW WHAT HALF THE MEN YOUR AGE -- 424 00:16:26,906 --> 00:16:28,606 MICHAEL! 425 00:16:28,608 --> 00:16:31,238 JUST CHANGING THE DOOR, POLISHING OFF THE DOOR HANDLE. 426 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,333 THEY'RE FUMBLING AROUND, PUSHING AND PRODDING. 427 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,916 AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, IT'S OVER REALLY QUICK, 428 00:16:38,918 --> 00:16:41,248 REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY QUICK. 429 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,751 COME ON, I WASN'T THAT QUICK. 430 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,092 MICHAEL, I SWEAR -- 431 00:16:45,085 --> 00:16:48,625 JUST BUSTING UP THE CHIFFEROBE, BABY. 432 00:16:48,628 --> 00:16:50,338 WHY ARE YOU GUYS COMING DOWN ON ME LIKE THIS? 433 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,800 YOU GUYS DIDN'T WAIT. 434 00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:54,551 YEAH, AND IT MADE THINGS VERY DIFFICULT, BABY. 435 00:16:54,554 --> 00:16:56,774 I HAD TO RESTRUCTURE MY WHOLE LIFE. 436 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,516 THAT MEANT MISSING OUT ON A LOT OF THINGS. 437 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,188 I MISSED THE PROM. I MISSED HOMECOMING. 438 00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,400 I MISSED OUT ON GOING TO COLLEGE WITH ALL MY FRIENDS. 439 00:17:02,402 --> 00:17:04,442 I'M NOT PLANNING ON GETTING PREGNANT. 440 00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:06,074 WELL, NEITHER DID I. 441 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,946 BUT IT HAPPENED, DIDN'T IT, BABY? 442 00:17:08,948 --> 00:17:10,408 LOOK, JUST BECAUSE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT 443 00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:11,740 DOESN'T MEAN I WAS GONNA DO IT. 444 00:17:11,741 --> 00:17:13,281 IT'S LIKE YOU WITH YOUR DIETS. 445 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,613 HEY, WATCH IT. 446 00:17:14,614 --> 00:17:17,164 [ SIGHS ] SO ARE WE DONE HERE? 447 00:17:17,157 --> 00:17:19,117 NO, WE ARE NOT DONE HERE. 448 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,659 [ SIGHS ] 449 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,330 LOOK. [SIGHS] 450 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:24,332 I WAS A TEENAGE GIRL MYSELF. 451 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,764 THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 452 00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:28,665 I THINK I TOLD YOU TO WATCH IT. 453 00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:31,008 I STILL KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE 454 00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:35,440 TO HAVE MY HORMONES JUMPING AROUND, OUT OF CONTROL. 455 00:17:35,435 --> 00:17:39,595 NOW, HERE'S THE BOTTOM LINE, OKAY? 456 00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:41,479 LOOK AT ME. 457 00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:44,981 I LOVE YOU... AND I WANT YOU TO WAIT 458 00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:48,454 FOR AS LONG AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN, CLAIRE. 459 00:17:48,448 --> 00:17:49,988 [ SIGHS ] 460 00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:51,569 BUT IF THE TIME COMES, 461 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,781 AND YOU DECIDE THAT YOU CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER, 462 00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:57,624 PLEASE, PLEASE COME TO ME. 463 00:17:57,617 --> 00:18:01,997 PROMISE ME THAT, OKAY? 464 00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:03,661 ALL RIGHT, MOM. 465 00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:06,213 BUT YOU AND DAD HAVE TO PROMISE ME SOMETHING. 466 00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:07,796 I NEED TO BE ABLE TO TRUST 467 00:18:07,797 --> 00:18:10,377 THAT MY PRIVACY IS GONNA BE RESPECTED IN THIS HOUSE 468 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,130 AND I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYONE READING MY DIARY. 469 00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:16,925 I'M GOOD WITH THAT. 470 00:18:16,926 --> 00:18:18,176 MICHAEL? 471 00:18:18,178 --> 00:18:20,268 Michael: YEAH, THAT'S COOL. 472 00:18:24,894 --> 00:18:26,784 RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN! 473 00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:29,276 AH HA! HA HA HA! 474 00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:31,939 YES! [ COUGHS ] 475 00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:33,611 YOU ALL RIGHT? 476 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:37,703 OH...BABY, IT IS SO WONDERFUL BEING ABLE TO SEE AGAIN. 477 00:18:37,697 --> 00:18:39,157 OH, YEAH, I BET. 478 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,199 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE 479 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,450 IF YOU COULDN'T SEE THIS GAME. 480 00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:43,001 YEAH, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD. 481 00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:44,502 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? HUH? 482 00:18:44,504 --> 00:18:46,134 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A DISASTER 483 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,745 IF I COULDN'T SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AGAIN. 484 00:18:48,748 --> 00:18:51,208 OH, BABY. 485 00:18:51,211 --> 00:18:52,801 MMM. MMM! 486 00:18:52,802 --> 00:18:54,672 MMM. 487 00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:56,684 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 488 00:18:56,676 --> 00:19:00,216 WE'RE KISSING, AND NOBODY YELLED "MOMMY." 489 00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:02,680 SPANK MY BUTT. I'LL YELL IT. 490 00:19:05,064 --> 00:19:08,614 I'M TALKING ABOUT KADY. WHERE'S KADY? 491 00:19:08,608 --> 00:19:09,818 OH. 492 00:19:09,819 --> 00:19:11,359 "OH" WHAT? 493 00:19:11,361 --> 00:19:13,861 I STARTED A GAME OF HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK WITH HER 494 00:19:13,863 --> 00:19:15,033 ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. 495 00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:16,994 I GUESS I LEFT OUT THE SEEK PART. 496 00:19:16,986 --> 00:19:19,366 BABE! LET'S GO FIND HER. 497 00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:20,909 KADY! KADY! 498 00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:25,633 HEY. 499 00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,495 SHE'S NOT OUTSIDE. 500 00:19:27,497 --> 00:19:29,417 I CAN'T FIND HER. SHE'S GETTING GOOD AT THIS. 501 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:30,709 YEAH, I KNOW. 502 00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:32,420 SHE'S GOTTA BE HERE SOMEWHERE. 503 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,842 I'M GONNA CHECK UPSTAIRS. YOU CHECK THE GARAGE, OKAY? 504 00:19:33,843 --> 00:19:36,103 OKAY, LET ME GET SOME CHIPS FIRST. 505 00:19:36,095 --> 00:19:37,885 THANK YOU. 506 00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:47,475 HEY. 507 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,687 I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN YOUR ROOM. 508 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,689 TECHNICALLY, YOU SAID I WAS GROUNDED, 509 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,441 AND...I'M ON THE GROUND. 510 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,243 YOU KNOW WHAT? 511 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,655 TECHNICALLY, YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE UNDER THE GROUND. 512 00:19:56,656 --> 00:19:58,906 WHY ARE YOU STRESSING ME SO MUCH, DAD?! 513 00:19:58,908 --> 00:19:59,948 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 514 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,409 IT IS A BIG DEAL! 515 00:20:01,411 --> 00:20:03,201 A RIDE HOME FROM THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE?! 516 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,212 NO, IT'S THE FACT THAT I CAN'T COUNT ON YOU! 517 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:10,285 YOU'RE ALMOST 18, JUNIOR. YOU'RE NOT A KID ANYMORE. 518 00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:12,790 LEAVING ME TO GO TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE 519 00:20:12,792 --> 00:20:15,602 IN MY CAR -- THAT'S A MAN'S MOVE, 520 00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:18,175 AND YOU MUST FACE A MAN'S CONSEQUENCES. 521 00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:20,177 ALL RIGHT, I'M GROUNDED. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. 522 00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,969 NO, IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. 523 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:25,481 SEE, WE'RE ENTERING A WHOLE NEW PHASE OF THE DISCIPLINE GAME. 524 00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,645 WHAT YOU DID -- THAT'S STRIKE ONE. 525 00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:30,267 YOU GOT TWO MORE, AND THEN YOU'RE OUT. 526 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,520 OF THE GAME? 527 00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,941 NO, OF MY HOUSE. 528 00:20:32,942 --> 00:20:35,282 [ LAUGHS ] YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? 529 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,945 LOOK AT MY FACE. 530 00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:39,526 DO I LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING? 531 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,569 LISTEN TO ME. 532 00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,821 I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, OKAY? 533 00:20:43,823 --> 00:20:46,673 AND IF, GOD FORBID, SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME, 534 00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:49,576 I COULD ONLY HOPE THAT YOU WOULD BE THERE 535 00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:51,459 FOR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR SISTERS 536 00:20:51,461 --> 00:20:53,171 AND NOT OVER ALICIA'S HOUSE. 537 00:20:53,172 --> 00:20:55,302 I GOT IT, DAD. 538 00:20:58,047 --> 00:21:00,877 JUST BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY 539 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,470 DON'T MAKE YOU A MAN. 540 00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:08,226 I'M MORE OF A MAN THAN YOU ARE. 541 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:11,017 STR-I-I-IKE TWO! 542 00:21:23,993 --> 00:21:27,543 Kady: HELLO. HELLO. 543 00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:30,207 IS ANYBODY LOOKING FOR ME? 544 00:21:30,209 --> 00:21:32,999 I'M STILL HIDING. 545 00:21:33,002 --> 00:21:34,752 [ GIGGLES ] 546 00:21:34,754 --> 00:21:37,424 BOY, I'M GOOD. 35805

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