Original subtitles

BOY, THAT WAS A GREAT FILM.

I AM GETTING TOO OLD FOR THESE ACTION MOVIES,

AND SO ARE SCHWARZENEGGER AND STALLONE.

OH, COME ON. YOU DIDN'T ENJOY THAT?

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME THEY WORKED TOGETHER.

[ Imitating Schwarzenegger ] WE HAVE 3 SECONDS TO SAVE THE WORLD.

I NEED THE SPECIAL CODE TO UNLOCK THE BOMB.

[ Imitating Stallone ] IT'S, UH...

I THINK IT'S 4, 2, AND 7.

[ Imitating Schwarzenegger ] WHAT?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR SPEECH IMPEDIMENT!

[ Imitating Stallone ] HEY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, EITHER.

I DON'T GIVE YOU GRIEF ABOUT IT.

I'M JUST TIRED OF THE SAME OLD DINNER AND A MOVIE,

DINNER AND A MOVIE, DINNER AND A MOVIE.

[ Normal voice ] OKAY, WE'RE GONNA MIX IT UP.

NEXT WEEK -- MOVIE/DINNER, MOVIE/DINNER, MOVIE/DINNER.

IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME THING --

WE GO TO CARMINE'S ITALIAN KITCHEN,

YOU ORDER THE PEPPERONI PIZZA WITH EXTRA CHEESE,

AND THEN YOU TELL THAT SAME OLD STUPID JOKE TO JOE THE WAITER.

NO, I DON'T.

"DO YOU WANT THE SOUP OR SALAD?"

"NO, I DON'T WANT THE SUPER SALAD.

I'LL JUST HAVE THE REGULAR ONE."

YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO IT FUNNY. WHAT?!

[ Italian accent ] "DO YOU WANNA THE SOUP OR THE SALAD?"

[ Normal voice ] "NO, I DON'T WANT THE SUPER SALAD.

I WANT THE REGULAR ONE!"

SEE -- "THE REGULAR ONE!" YOU BACKED OFF THE PUNCH LINE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS WE NEED TO SHAKE IT UP A BIT --

ADD SOME VARIETY LIKE WE USED TO.

REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING?

YOU USED TO LOVE TAKING ME TO MUSEUMS, AND HIKING, PICNICS.

NO, I DIDN'T.

I JUST LIKED WHERE THOSE PLACES WERE GONNA TAKE ME --

"PANTYVILLE."

YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD?

I HEARD "PANTYVILLE" MIGHT BE CLOSING DOWN FOR THE SEASON.

NO, NOT "PANTYVILLE"! NO!

UH, UH, BEARD?

SHAKY HAND?

ABRAHAM LINCOLN WRITING THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS

ON THE BACK OF AN ENVELOPE.

OH, MY GOSH. YOU ARE SO GOOD.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO UP TO?

HOMEWORK. I HAVE TO DO A PAPER ON NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.

KADY'S HELPING ME BY PLAYING CHARADES.

REALLY? I LOVE CHARADES. I GOT ONE FOR YOU.

OKAY.

I...

MM-HMM.

SOUNDS LIKE...

BUTTER...

BUTTER -- MARGARINE!

BUTTER -- BET-- BETTER? BETTER?

I BETTER...

SOUNDS LIKE...

RAKE. CAKE. TAKE.

I BETTER TAKE...

THE GARBAGE -- OKAY.

OUT...

OR -- OR...

OHH. GOT IT.

HEY, KADY, LET ME TRY

SOME REGULAR, OLD VERBAL COMMUNICATION ON YOU.

YOU READY?

IF EVERY TOY IN YOUR ROOM ISN'T PICKED UP IN 5 MINUTES,

IT'S GONNA GET THROWN AWAY.

UH-OH. BETTER HURRY.

WOW. WE'RE GETTING GOOD AT THIS.

GUESS WHAT, MOM? I MADE THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD.

[ SQUEALING ]

[ IMITATES SQUEALING ]

OH, BABY! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

THIS CONTINUES A FAMILY TRADITION, YOU KNOW?

YOU WERE A CHEERLEADER?

GIRLS, GIVE ME SOME ROOM. GIVE ME SOME ROOM.

GO ON, MAMA.

ALL RIGHT, READY?

[ Cheering ] FIRECRACKER! FIRECRACKER! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

FIRECRACKER! FIRECRACKER! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

DADDY IS A MOVIE STAR, MAMA IS A VIXEN!

WE'RE GOING DOWN TO WASHINGTON TO MEET PRESIDENT NIXON!

WHO?!

[ Cheering ] I MEAN CLINTON!

HIP-HIP HOORAY!

YAY! THAT WAS GREAT!

YOU LIKE IT? I GOT ANOTHER ONE.

NO, NO, NO.

YEAH. THAT WAS GREAT, MOM.

COME ON, GIRLS. LET'S GO TO A DIFFERENT ROOM.

IF YOU NEED ANY POINTERS, DON'T HESITATE TO CALL ME.

OH, YEAH, WE WILL --

NOT.

UM, AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

OH. WITH THEM, TO WORK ON MY NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

CAN I STARE? NO.

CAN I JUST LISTEN? NO.

CAN I SNIFF? [ SNIFFING ]

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! EASY, EASY. EASY, EASY.

JUST GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM -- YOUR ROOM.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU SEE, JAY. THAT'S WHAT SCARES ME --

BOYS LIKE THAT SNIFFING AROUND MY DAUGHTER

WHILE SHE'S OUT THERE SHAKING HER POMPOMS.

OH, STOP IT, MICHAEL. SHE'S GROWING UP.

BOYS ARE GONNA SNIFF.

OH, GREAT. THANK YOU. THAT'S COMFORTING.

AND SPEAKING OF SHAKING YOUR POMPOMS,

I'VE DECIDED WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO ON OUR NEXT DATE NIGHT,

AND, REMEMBER, YOU PROMISED TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

THE MIND IS OPEN!

DANCING!

LAP OR BELLY? NEITHER.

MIND'S CLOSED.

NO! MICHAEL, YOU PROMISED!

ANYWAY, I ALREADY SET US UP FOR SOME LESSONS.

I DON'T NEED LESSONS. LOOK -- I CAN ROBOT.

WHY I NEED TO LEARN TO DANCE?

POW. PAM. PAM. PAM. PAM.

PAM. PAM. PAM. PAM. PAM. PAM. PAM. PAM.

AND THAT'S WHY --

I WANT TO DO SOME ROMANTIC DANCING.

JAY, LOOK, I'LL SLOW THE ROBOT DOWN,

PUT A FLOWER IN MY MOUTH.

LOOK AT THIS -- PAM. PAM.

BAM! MICHAEL --

ONE MORE. PAM.

NO.

HEY, IF I DO THIS WITH YOU,

"PANTYVILLE" BETTER HAVE SOME NEW RIDES THIS YEAR.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

BABY, THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN.

WE ARE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO DANCE WITH STYLE.

IT'S SEXY, IT'S HOT...

[ Foreign accent ] IT'S SAMBA!

AHHH...

NO.

OPEN MIND, MICHAEL. OPEN MIND.

MY NAME IS MARCELLO ROCOCO.

I AM YOUR INSTRUCTOR

AND 5-TIME WINNER OF THE BAHIA LIA...

SAMBA CONTEST.

YEAH, WELL, I'M MICHAEL KYLE, 5-TIME WINNER

OF THE MICHAEL JACKSON MOONWALK CONTEST,

AND I'M OUT OF HERE.

NO, NO!

MICHAEL, STOP BEING A JERK. BE SERIOUS.

OKAY.

YOU MUST BE JAY.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN -- YOU REALLY ARE.

AND MAY I SAY...

BINK IS YOUR COLOR.

IT'S PINK!

SAMBA IS THE DANCE OF SENSUALITY.

YOU MUST FEEL YOUR BODY.

GO ON -- FEEL IT.

YES, FEEL IT.

COME ON, MICHAEL! FEEL IT!

OH, I FEEL IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT MY BODY FEELS LIKE?

IT'S FEELS LIKE LEAVING.

LISTEN TO THE RHYTHM OF YOUR HEART.

LET THE HEAT FROM THE FEET MOVE YOUR HIP.

THAT'S A SAMBA JOKE.

[ LAUGHING ]

[somebody] WELL, SAMBA BODY NEEDS ANOTHER WRITER.

COME. WE BEGIN.

FIRST, I WILL DEMONSTRATE THE WOMAN'S PART.

OH, YEAH. I GUESS I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE.

5, 6, 7, 8.

BACKWARDS. FORWARD. YES.

BACKWARDS. OKAY.

FORWARDS.

JUST SOME MORE HIP.

PUT SOME MORE HIP INTO IT -- YES.

OKAY, YOU'RE GONNA HURT SOMEBODY WITH ALL THAT HIP.

BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE A NATURAL... I AM?

OH, YES.

SURELY YOU MUST HAVE SOME BRAZILIAN BLOOD

COURSING THROUGH THIS HOT BODY OF YOURS.

ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I DO HAVE

A GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER ON MY DADDY'S SIDE

THAT HAD A SMIDGEN OF BRAZILIAN IN HER.

WHAT? IF YOU COULD BE PART CHEROKEE,

I COULD BE PART BRAZILIAN.

SPEAKING OF "PART," I'M A PART OF THIS LESSON HERE.

I'M THE PART WHO SIGNS THE CHECK.

SURE.

NOW I WILL SHOW YOU THE MAN'S PART.

IT IS SO SIMPLE -- SO VERY SIMPLE.

I CAN DO SIMPLE. GO AHEAD.

THAT'S EASY. I CAN DO THAT. SIMPLE.

OLé!

[ SQUEALS ] GET DOWN!

SEE? IT'S SIMPLE. NOW YOU TRY IT.

I CAN DO THAT.

I USED TO HAVE ROACHES, TOO.

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

GET AWAY!

GET AWAY!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HEY, BABY, SIT DOWN.

I GOT A LITTLE PREVIEW OF DINNER TONIGHT.

YOU GOT TO TELL ME IF YOU THINK THE KIDS WILL LIKE IT.

I DON'T RECOGNIZE ANYTHING ON THIS PLATE.

OH, THAT'S FEIJOADA, GAZHA, AND BOBO DE CAMARAO.

BOBO DID WHAT TO THE COW?

BOBO DE CAMARAO -- IT'S BRAZILIAN.

OH. BRAZILIAN.

YOU'RE GOING BRAZILIAN CRAZY HERE.

IS THAT WHY YOU'RE WEARING THE PINK --

BECAUSE MR. ROCOCA-COLA SAID THAT WAS YOUR COLOR?

DID HE SAY THAT? [ GIGGLES ]

HE MIGHT HAVE. I DON'T KNOW.

BABY, TASTE THE FOOD BEFORE IT GETS COLD.

LISTEN -- I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THIS MAN LOOKS AT YOU.

AND I DON'T' LIKE HIM TOUCHING YOUR MOVING HIPS --

THE HIPS THAT MOVE.

THOSE ARE MY HIPS. YOU DON'T MOVE THE HIPS.

BABY, THE TEACHER HAS TO BE ATTENTIVE TO THE PUPIL,

AND THE PUPIL HAS TO BE RESPONSIVE TO THE TEACHER.

THIS GUY'S GETTING INTO YOUR HEAD.

YOU'RE BECOMING BRAZILIAN CRAZY.

I'M NOT BRAZILIAN CRAZY.

NOW, SIéNTATE ALLá WHILE I GO WATCH TELEMUNDO.

MI ESPOSA ES MUY LOCA EN LA CABEZA,

PERO EL CULO ES MUY, MUY GRANDE Y LINDA.

LAST WEEK, WE LEARNED A FEW SIMPLE STEPS.

BUT THIS WEEK, I WILL TEACH YOU

THE ESSENCE OF WHAT SAMBA IS ALL ABOUT.

AND MAY I SAY ORANGE...IS YOUR COLOR.

WHAT HAPPENED TO BINK?

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN...

WITH HIPS CONSTRUCTED FOR SAMBA.

YEAH, THAT'S WHY I MARRIED HER.

IN BRAZIL, YOU'D BE CONSIDERED A GODDESS.

WELL, HERE IN AMERICA, SHE'S CONSIDERED MY WIFE!

LET ME SET THE SCENE -- IT'S CARNAVAL IN RIO DE JANEIRO.

THE SUN IS SETTING, AND YOU ARE ON A BEACH --

THE COPACABANA -- WEARING NOTHING BUT A THONG.

YEAH, AND WHERE AM I AT?

YOU'RE AT THE HOTEL TAKING A NAP.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR -- SAMBA!

NOW I MUST ADD ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVES

IN SAMBA DANCING, AND WE CALL IT THE BOUNCE MOVE!

YES, BOUNCE WITH ME! YES, YES!

VERY NICE. TURN, TURN, TURN.

SHAKE. KEEP SHAKING.

OOH! BRING IT OVER!

YES! YES! TURN AROUND AGAIN!

OKAY. LET'S BOUNCE OUT.

BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCE.

BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCE.

BYE, MR. ROCOCO.

BYE, JAY.

BABY, THAT WAS SO INVIGORATING.

I FEEL SO ALIVE! THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!

NOW I WANNA GO UPSTAIRS, AND I WANT TO WATCH YOU

DO THAT BOUNCY-BOUNCY MOVE OVER ME ON THE BED.

UNH-UNH. I'M TOO TIRED FOR ALL THAT.

JAY, LET'S QUIT THIS THING.

LET'S GO BACK TO DOING THE DINNER AND A MOVIE.

NO, BABY. I GOT US THE 10-LESSON PACKAGE.

WE CAN'T DO THAT, 'CAUSE WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN TO SAMBA!

HA HA HA!

[ SQUEALS ]

[ Disguised voice ] YES, IS THIS MR. ROCOCO?

MY NAME IS WALTER JOHNSON

FROM THE, UH, IMMIGRATION AND NATURAL-L-IZATION SERVICES.

THE IMMIGRATION AND NATURAL-L-IZATION SERVICES.

NATURAL-L-IZATION SERVICES.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

LISTEN, I'M CALLING TO SEE IF YOUR PAPERS ARE IN ORDER.

HELLO? HELLO?

HEY, MOM.

HEY. HEY, GIRLS.

IS IT OKAY IF WE PRACTICE IN THE GARAGE TODAY?

OF COURSE.

[ CHEERING ]

OH.

LET'S GO.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING AT SCHOOL ABOUT CLAIRE?

THAT SHE ONLY GOT THE CHEERLEADING SPOT

BECAUSE SHE'S PRETTY, WHICH IS RIDICULOUS,

BECAUSE SHE DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR ME.

SON, GO BACK TO THE NONVERBAL YOU.

DESPITE THAT LAST LITTLE SLIP,

CLAIRE IS AS COORDINATED AND ATHLETIC AS HER MOTHER.

AND AS ANY SAMBA INSTRUCTOR WILL TELL YOU,

HER MOTHER IS A NATURAL.

COME ON. I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.

LET'S GO WATCH THEM PRACTICE.

YAY! [ SNIFFING ]

HEY, BOY! BOY!

COME HERE!

WHOA, WHOA! HEY!

EASY, EASY.

EASY. HEEL, BOY. HEEL.

HEY, YOU GUYS. YOU MIND IF WE WATCH?

OH, NO PROBLEM.

WATCH. WATCH.

LET'S START WITH THE "YEAH, BABY" CHEER.

5, 6, 7, 8.

READY! HIT IT!

[ Cheering ] HEY, KATHY! YEAH, BABY?!

HEY, KATHY! YEAH, BABY?!

INTRODUCE YOURSELF! OKAY!

MY NAME IS KATHY!

MY SIGN IS LIBRA! I CHEER FOR KEVIN!

RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON!

HEY, SHANIKQUA! YEAH!

INTRODUCE YOURSELF! ALL RIGHT.

INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

MY NAME'S SHANIKQUA!

RIGHT ON, RIGHT NOW!

I CHEER FOR CHANCE!

RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON! AND NOW CLAIRE!

COME ON, CLAIRE! SHOW 'EM WHAT MOMMY'S BABY'S MADE OF!

HEY, CLAIRE!

HUH?

IT'S, "YEAH, BABY?"

THAT'S RIGHT. OKAY.

YEAH, BABY?!

INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

MY NAME IS CLAIRE!

RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON!

MY SIGN IS -- WHAT'S MY SIGN, MOM?

PISCES, GIRL!

PISCES, GIRL! RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON!

I CHEER FOR TONY! RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON!

SW-W-O-O-O-O!

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HEY. YOU GOT A SEC?

SURE, DAD. WHAT'S UP?

DID YOU ENJOY WATCHING YOUR LITTLE CHEERLEADER GO?

YEAH, THAT'S ACTUALLY WHAT I CAME TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK?

HONESTLY?

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE QUITE UP TO PAR WITH THE REST OF THE SQUAD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, MAYBE CHEERLEADING IS NOT YOUR FORTE.

WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP SAYING THAT?

WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

BUT IF IT WERE TRUE, WHY AM I ON THE SQUAD?

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY, CLAIRE.

SEE, PRETTY PEOPLE LIKE YOU... AND ME

HAVE CERTAIN DOORS OPENED FOR THEM IN LIFE.

IS THAT WHY JUNIOR STRUGGLES?

YES, EXACTLY.

BUT YOU AND I -- WE CARRY THE BURDEN OF BEAUTY,

AND IT'S A HEAVY LOAD SOMETIMES.

YOU NEVER KNOW IF SOMEBODY LIKES YOU FOR YOU

OR FOR ALL OF THIS.

SO IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NOT TO SLIDE THROUGH LIFE

JUST ON THE LAURELS OF YOUR GOOD LOOKS.

YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR TALENTS AND DEVELOP THEM.

DON'T BE JUST ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

BE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH SOMETHING TO OFFER THE WORLD.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

OKAY.

LOOK, ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION, CLAIRE --

DO I WANT TO BE A CHEERLEADER

EVEN THOUGH THE ONLY REASON WHY I'M THERE

IS BECAUSE I LOOK GOOD?

YEP.

GOOD TALK.

BABY, I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

BABE, I LOVE THIS ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT YOU'VE MADE.

HEY, IF SAMBA'S WHAT YOU WANT, SAMBA'S WHAT YOU GET.

OOH, BOY.

[ SMOOCHES ]

OH, HI. WE HAVE A 7:00 APPOINTMENT WITH MR. ROCOCO.

[ Foreign accent ] I'M SORRY TO INFORM YOU,

BUT MR. ROCOCO IS NO LONGER WITH US.

OH, MAN!

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

HE HAD AN EMERGENCY IN BRAZIL.

OH, HE MUST'VE HAD SOMETHING "DEPORTANT" TO DO.

WE'RE REALLY DISAPPOINTED.

WE WERE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR LESSON.

NOT TO WORRY. I'M SELMA.

I'M HIS REPLACEMENT.

HEY, SELMA.

AND I WOULD BE PLEASED TO BE YOUR NEW INSTRUCTOR.

NO! NO! WE CAN'T DO THAT, RIGHT, BABE?!

WE SHOULD GO HOME.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY INTO THIS, ANYWAY, RIGHT?

A DEAL IS A DEAL, UH, UH...

JAY! JAY -- YEAH, JAY.

I MEAN, WE'VE GOT 7 MORE LESSONS.

LET'S JUST MUDDLE THROUGH WITH SELMA.

YOU CAN GO SIT DOWN. I LIKE TO WORK WITH THE MAN FIRST.

YEAH, SIT DOWN OVER THERE. POR FAVOR, AQUí.

SIéNTATE.

FIRST, LET ME SET THE SCENE.

CARNAVAL.

YEAH, AND YOU'RE LAYING ON THE BEACH IN NOTHING BUT A THONG,

AND SHE'S BACK AT THE HOTEL TAKING A NAP.

YEAH.

NOW, LET ME DEMONSTRATE THE BOUNCE MOVE.

YEAH, LOOK AT THEM BOUNCE.

OH, WAIT!

OH HO HO. HA HA HA.

NO. SEE, WE HAD LEARNED THAT ONE ALREADY.

THAT ONE'S PLAYED OUT.

I DIDN'T LEARN THAT, REMEMBER?

YOU LEARNED IT, AND I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO LEARN.

NO, I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

YOU WILL REMEMBER.

FOLLOW THE RHYTHM OF MY HIPS.

WHOA. THAT'S A WHOLE RHYTHM SECTION RIGHT THERE.

WOW. OOH.

HEY, HEY, BABE.

I'M NOT REALLY FEELING VERY COMFORTABLE ABOUT THIS.

YOU'LL GET YOUR TURN WITH SELMA,

AND I WANT TO WATCH THAT.

MICHAEL!

WHAT?

SHE'S JUST BEING A GOOD TEACHER, AND I'M BEING A GREAT STUDENT.

OH, YOU HAVE A VERY STRONG CHEST.

CHEST?

YES.

YES.

[ GIGGLING ]

♪ DOOM CHA-DAH CHA-CHA CHA-CHA ♪

♪ SHA! LA-DAH DAH-DAH! ♪

♪ DUM DAH-DAH CHA-CHA DAH-DAH ♪

♪ AND BOUNCY, AND BOUNCY, BOUNCY ♪

♪ BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY ♪

♪ BOUNCY, CHA-CHA-CHA ♪

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!

WHAT, THIS OLD THING?

[ Foreign accent ] YOU LIKE, YES OR NO?

YES, I HAVE ONE JUST LIKE IT IN MY CLOSET.

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU LOOKING LIKE THAT!

I GUESS IT'S JUST ME AND SELMA

DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY, HUH?

OVER YOUR DEAD BODY.

JANET MARIE KYLE, IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,

I'D SAY YOU WERE JEALOUS OVER THE NEW DANCE INSTRUCTOR.

I'M NOT JEALOUS. JEALOUS!

I'M NOT JEALOUS!

I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED

IN WATCHING YOU DROOL ALL OVER THAT BRAZILIAN BIMBO.

I WAS NOT DROOLING. MY TONGUE WAS SWEATING.

AND WASN'T IT YOU WHO SAID

THAT THE INSTRUCTOR HAD TO TOUCH YOUR HIPS

IN ORDER TO SHOW YOU THE RIGHT MOVES, HUH?

OR WAS THAT ONLY WHEN YOU WERE FLIRTING

WITH MR. "5-TIME BAHIA-HIA, SAMBA-SAMBA" CHAMPION

MR. ROCOCO?

I WAS NOT FLIRTING.

[ Imitating Ricky Ricardo ] LUCY...

OKAY, OKAY.

I WAS FLIRTING,

BUT IT WAS INNOCENT, AND IT WAS ALL IN FUN.

IT WASN'T FUN FOR ME. IT DROVE ME CRAZY.

I CAN'T STAND TO SEE ANOTHER MAN

TOUCH YOU OR LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAT.

MMM, BABY.

I THINK IT'S VERY SWEET THAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,

WE COULD STILL GET JEALOUS.

YEAH, I'M ALWAYS GONNA BE JEALOUS OF YOU.

REALLY? MM-HMM.

EVEN IN THE NURSING HOME,

I'LL BE JEALOUS OF THE GUY THAT CHANGES YOUR DIAPER.

[ Imitating old man ] DON'T -- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!

THAT'S MINE! OHHH!

[ Laughing ] STOP IT!

[ Italian accent ] WOULD YOU LIKE A SOUP OR SALAD?

I DON'T WANT THE SUPER SALAD. I WANT THE REGULAR ONE!

HA HA HA.

THE REGULAR!

[ No accent ] WHAT A JERK.

HE LOVES WHEN I DO THAT TO HIM.

[ SIGHS ] YEAH.

OH, BOY. EXCUSE ME A SECOND.

MM-HMM.

[ Foreign accent ] MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

[ LAUGHS ]

PHH! PHH!

PHH!

[ LAUGHING ]

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS MOVE MAY JUST HAVE EARNED YOU

A SEASON PASS TO "PANTYVILLE."

OH, I LIKE THAT.

I WANT TO RIDE IN THE BUMPER CARS.

[ LAUGHING ]

YOU KNOW, THE ONLY SHAME ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING

IS THAT WE LOST ALL THAT MONEY

ON THE REST OF THOSE SAMBA LESSONS.

OH, I DON'T THINK WE DID.

[ SNIFFING ]

[ As Schwarzenegger ] WE ONLY HAVE 16 SECONDS TO SAVE THE WORLD.

WE NEED THE FUSE...

AND I'M DOING ARNOLD S.

[ LAUGHING ]

DANCE WITH ME. I CAN'T.

I'M DOING A PAPER ON NONVERBAL COMMUNICA--