Original subtitles

HAVE THE TICKETS?

YEP. I GOT ALL 25 BOARDING PASSES RIGHT HERE.

WE GO NEW YORK TO SCRANTON.

SCRANTON TO CHICAGO -- THAT'S THE WINDY CITY.

THEN WE ZIP OVER TO DENVER, SHOOT TO WISCONSIN,

ZIP BACK TO NEW YORK,

AND THEN BAM! NEXT DAY, STRAIGHT SHOT TO HAWAII.

THIS IS INCREDIBLE.

OH, MY GOODNESS. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN HERE.

YEAH. WE GONNA PLAY "HIDE THE MONKEY" IN HERE.

MET A GIRL AT THE LUAU LAST NIGHT.

GOOD FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN TO HER.

I PLAN TO SAY "THANK YOU" AS SOON AS WE'RE FINISHED.

LOOK AWAY! SHARK! SHARK!

[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ]

I WANT YOU TO GO INSIDE THAT HOTEL

AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOUR BEHIND.

THIS IS THE ONLY BATHING SUIT I HAVE.

THEN GO TO THE HOTEL GIFT SHOP

AND BUY A ONE-PIECE SUIT. JUST SIGN IT TO THE ROOM.

I LIKE THESE. CAN I PUT THESE ON THE ROOM?

VERY GOOD.

OH, AND I NEED ALOE CONDITIONER. GOT IT.

ON YOUR ROOM?

LET'S DO THAT.

Kady: AAAAH!

WHAT'S WRONG?! WHAT'S WRONG?!

I GOT SAND IN MY BUTT!

ME TOO.

AND WHO ARE YOU?

I'M RACHEL STONE, OF THE PALM BEACH STONES.

AND DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY,

BECAUSE I'VE GOT A TRACKING DEVICE IMPLANTED IN MY MOLAR.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

SO, ARE YOU HAVING FUN HERE IN OAHU?

I HATE THIS PLACE. IT'S TOO TOURISTY.

WE HAD A MUCH BETTER TIME LAST YEAR

IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE.

OH, BUT HAWAII'S NICE, THOUGH.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE?

NO.

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

KADY, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

I GUESS IT HAPPENED WHEN WE PUT SAND IN OUR BUTTS.

OKAY. LET ME GO HANDLE THIS.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS. WE'RE GONNA HOSE YOU DOWN.

LET'S GO! LET'S GO! COME ON! COME ON!

BABY, YOU LOOK SO HAPPY.

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU SEEMED THIS RELAXED.

HAWAII'S CHANGED ME.

MY WHOLE ATTITUDE IS DIFFERENT HERE.

THIS PLACE HAS GOT TO BE WHERE BOBBY McFERRIN WROTE

"DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY."

NO MORE STRESS, JAY.

TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

OH, THAT'S WHAT THE ISLAND WOULD SAY?

THAT'S MY NEW MANTRA -- TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

I LIKE THAT.

WHOA! SORRY.

HEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?! MICHAEL!

TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

THERE YOU GO. YOU SEE THAT?

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

IT'S JUST AS EASY TO BE LAID-BACK

AS IT IS TO BE ANGRY.

YEAH. LOOK AT THESE POOR, MISERABLE SAPS.

STRESSED OUT 'CAUSE THEY GOT TO WAIT IN LINE.

NOT ME. MY NEW ATTITUDE --

TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

HA HA HA HA.

HEY, YOU TRYING TO CHECK OUT?

NO, I'M RENTING A RAFT.

OH, OH, OH. SAD TO BE YOU.

YEAH, I'M CHECKING OUT.

I GOT AN 11:00 FLIGHT. I'M NEVER GONNA MAKE IT.

HEY, I'M A GOLD PREFERRED BACK HERE, COME ON!

HEY, HEY, RELAX, RELAX.

LISTEN, TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD OF US? WE'RE IN NO RUSH.

YOU SERIOUS? YEAH, GO AHEAD.

HEY, THANKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD'VE DONE?

YOU SHOULD'VE TOOK THE 1:00. THAT'S WHAT WE DID.

THERE IS NO 1:00.

OF COURSE THERE IS. BABY, SHOW HIM THE TICKET.

I GOT THE TICKETS RIGHT HERE.

HEY, BABE.

HOW'S YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR?

IT'S GREAT. TRY ME.

OKAY. UM, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK I DID, BABE?

WHAT MY NOOKUM DO? WHAT MY NOOKUM DO?

I THINK I READ THE TICKET A LITTLE WRONG.

A LITTLE?

WE DON'T HAVE A 1:00 FLIGHT.

1:00?

11:00.

HEE HEE.

THAT'S A CUTE BOO-BOO, HUH?

HEE.

OOH, IT'S SAD TO BE YOU.

HEY, GIVE ME MY PLACE BACK IN LINE. WE'RE IN A RUSH NOW.

YEAH, RIGHT. LIKE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. GOLD MEMBER.

MICHAEL!

OKAY, FINE. A WEEK AGO, THIS WOULD UPSET ME.

I WOULD'VE YELLED AND SCREAMED.

I MIGHT EVEN GIVE HIM A SHOT IN THE HEAD.

BUT THAT'S THE OLD MICHAEL.

THE NEW MICHAEL SAYS, "BABY, HOLD OUR PLACE IN LINE."

I'LL RUN UPSTAIRS AND GET THE KIDS TOGETHER.

WE'LL JUST MOSEY ON OUT HERE.

TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

OH, BABY, THAT'S GREAT!

TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER!

YOU REALLY HAVE CHANGED, BABY!

EXCUSE ME! MAHALO! MAHALO!

OH, MY GOD. I AM SO DEAD.

WHY?

I WAS CLICKING AROUND, AND I HIT THE WRONG CHANNEL,

AND OUR HOTEL BILL CAME UP.

YOU KNOW ALL THAT STUFF WE'VE BEEN PUTTING ON THE ROOM?

WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!

THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS ASK "WHY?"

I SURE HOPE DAD'S NEW MELLOW MOOD LASTS LONG ENOUGH

FOR HIM NOT TO KILL ME. AAAAAAH! OOOH!

YOUR MOTHER READ THE TICKET WRONG.

WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE IN 15 MINUTES! LET'S GO!

DADDY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NICE HAWAIIAN MELLOW MOOD?

IT'S WAITING FOR ME ON THE 11:00 FLIGHT. LET'S GO!

COME ON. LET'S PACK.

NO, DON'T FOLD. STUFF! STUFF IT! STUFF IT!

DAD, CAN YOU NOT YELL AT ME?

I CAN'T STAND BEING YELLED AT.

THE MORE YOU YELL, THE LESS I HEAR YOU. I JUST SHUT DOWN.

OKAY.

I RESPECT THAT, HONEY.

I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.

IF YOU CAN PACK ALL THIS STUFF UP IN 5 MINUTES,

I WON'T YELL AT YOU FOR ANOTHER MONTH.

YOU'RE NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH!! LET'S GO!

[ GRUNTING ]

OKAY. THIS IS THE LAST ONE.

HELP ME GET THIS CLOSED. JUMP UP HERE.

JUMP. COME ON, JUMP.

JUMP, JUMP. JUMP, JUMP.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH --

IT'S LIKE WE'VE ACCUMULATED A WHOLE SUITCASE

IN NEW CLOTHES HERE.

THAT'S CRAZY TALK.

YOU JUST HAVE TO PUT SOME MUSCLE INTO IT.

CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE!

OKAY. GET DOWN.

THIS IS YOUR MOTHER'S FAULT FOR BRINGING ALL THIS STUFF.

YEAH, CURSE MOM AND HER MATERIALISTIC WAYS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR IT,

BECAUSE WHATEVER DOESN'T FIT INTO THIS SUITCASE,

I WANT YOU GUYS TO WEAR IT.

JUNIOR!

HE'S NOT HERE.

THEN WHERE IS HE?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S A GOOD THING HE'S NOT HERE, 'CAUSE I'D KILL HIM.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE'S NOT HERE.

BUT IF HE WERE HERE, HE'D BE HERE.

HA! YOU KNOW WHAT, SMARTY-PANTS?

PUT THIS STUFF IN THE PACK. I GOT TO GET LITTLE LOVER BOY.

DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE NOT IN A --

GOOD MOOD?

OKAY, LET'S START PUTTING ON CLOTHES.

I'LL PUT SOME ON LITTLE PIPPY, TOO.

LITTLE PIPPY!

LITTLE PIPPY!

WHERE ARE YOU?

IF SHE ANSWERS, I CAN GET HER HER OWN TALK SHOW.

OH, NO! I LEFT HER ON THE BEACH!

WELL, SHE'S FISH FOOD NOW. COME ON!

OH, LORDY, THAT'S MY ONLY CHILD!

I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT HER.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S PUT SOME CLOTHES ON,

CLOSE UP THE SUITCASES, AND GO LOOK FOR HER,

BUT HURRY!

MAHALO. MAHALO, MAHALO, MAHALO.

MAHALO OUT OF MY WAY.

JAY.

WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE PICTURES, PLEASE?

IT'S ANNOYING. WE'RE IN A RUSH.

SOME DAY WE ARE GONNA LOOK BACK AT ALL MY PICTURES AND LAUGH.

THAT, OR THEY'LL USE THEM AS EVIDENCE IN MY TRIAL.

ALL RIGHT, I WON'T TAKE ANY MORE. WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

THE GIRLS ARE UPSTAIRS PACKING.

AND WHERE'S JUNIOR?

WE LOST THE BOY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WE LOST THE BOY"?!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS. HE'S PROBABLY OUT ON THE BEACH.

HOW MUCH TIME WE GOT LEFT? NOT MUCH.

HEY, MAN, CAN I GIVE YOU A LITTLE BIT OF ADVICE?

TAKE IT LIGHTLY, BROTHER.

HOO-OHH.

WHAT? YOU LOOK SO CUTE WHEN YOU'RE MAD.

WATCH THIS. HA HA HA.

DO-DO-DO-AH!

COCONUT, MI AMOR?

WOW. THAT'S AMAZING. YOU'RE A MAN OF MANY TALENTS.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU, MY MIKA.

I LOVE MY HAWAIIAN NAME.

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLACE.

LOOK, LEILANI, THERE'S SOMETHING

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU.

I'M NOT REALLY DENZEL WASHINGTON'S SON.

I KNOW. I'VE KNOWN ALL ALONG.

THAT'S WHY I CALL YOU "MIKA."

IT'S HAWAIIAN FOR "MICHAEL."

I SAW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY CHECK IN AT THE HOTEL,

AND I ASKED FOR YOUR NAME AT THE FRONT DESK.

SO WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?

BECAUSE I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE, TOO.

I'M JUST A HOTEL MAID.

SO YOU'RE NOT THE DAUGHTER OF THE KING OF HAWAII?

NO. I'M HIS NIECE.

HIS DAUGHTER RUNS THE SHUTTLE TO THE AIRPORT.

HA HA HA.

THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE --

BECAUSE OF YOU, BECAUSE OF THIS BEAUTIFUL PLACE.

I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE.

JUNIOR! COME ON! WE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH!

DAD, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FRIEND, LEILANI.

HI, LEILANI.

NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL SON.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE HIM THROUGH FRESH EYES,

BECAUSE WE'RE KIND OF SICK OF HIM OURSELVES.

WE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH. COME ON!

COULD YOU GIVE ME A MINUTE, DAD?

OKAY. ONE MINUTE. AND I'M TIMING YOU.

LEILANI, BECAUSE OF YOU,

THIS TRIP HAS BEEN EXTRA, EXTRA, EXTRA SPECIAL,

AND I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU, EITHER.

I LOVE YOU, LEILANI.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

ALL RIGHT, SHUTTLE LEAVES ANY MINUTE.

START GRABBING BAGS, HEAD INTO THE LOBBY.

OKAY, DAD.

WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA MAKE IT ON TIME.

CLAIRE?

KADY?

LITTLE PIPPY!

LITTLE PIPPY!

LORDY, LORDY, WHERE'S MY CHILD?

I LOVES YOU, KADY, BUT I SWEAR I KILLS YOU DEAD

IF YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT THAT DAMN DOLL!

LITTLE PIPPY!

AAH! COME ON, HURRY UP.

Jay: THERE YOU ARE!

WE JUST MIGHT MAKE THE FLIGHT NOW.

THANK GOD YOU FOUND JUNIOR.

YEAH, BUT I LOST THE GIRLS.

YOU LOST THE GIRLS?!

YEAH, BUT I GOT THE BAGS AND THE BOY.

2 OUT OF 3 AIN'T BAD.

MICHAEL, GO GET THE GIRLS.

NO, THINK ABOUT IT. IF WE LEAVE THE GIRLS HERE NOW,

NOT ONLY DO WE MAKE THE PLANE, BUT I GET THE GAME ROOM,

AND YOU GET THAT BATHROOM YOU WANTED WITH THE TURBO-JET BIDET.

WHOO-HOO-HOO!

MICHAEL, GO GET THE GIRLS.

HEY, JAY. SHE GOT MY HAT ON!

MICHAEL. THE GIRLS.

LITTLE PIPPY!

LITTLE PIPPY!

THAT'S IT! I'M GOING BACK TO MY ROOM.

I'M BURNING UP HERE.

YOU CAN'T LEAVE! YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED!

READ MY LIPS --

LITTLE PIPPY IS DEAD!

YOU'RE GONNA BE DEAD, TOO,

BECAUSE I'M GONNA TELL DADDY ABOUT THE BILL

IF YOU DON'T HELP ME FIND HER.

LORDY, LORDY, WHERE'S LITTLE PIPPY?

COME ON, KADY, WHERE'S THE LAST PLACE YOU SAW HER?

OKAY. RACHEL AND I WERE PLAYING ON THE BEACH...

AND?

SHE WANTED TO HOLD HER, BUT I WOULDN'T LET HER.

SO...

SO, I BURIED LITTLE PIPPY.

WHERE? IN THE SAND!

AAAAAAAH!

JAY! I LOOKED EVERYWHERE. I CAN'T FIND THEM.

DID YOU CHECK THE BEACH?

I TELL YOU, EVERYWHERE. I SAW SOME SUNBATHERS

AND A COUPLE OF HOMELESS KIDS DIGGING IN THE SAND.

MICHAEL, GO OUT THERE AND CHECK AGAIN.

LOOK, I WANT TO RUN SOMETHING PAST YOU --

IF WE LEAVE NOW,

WE CAN TAKE THE GIRLS' TICKETS, CASH IT IN,

AND YOU AND I CAN GET BUMPED UP TO FIRST CLASS! HUH?

IT'S BEAUTIFUL UP THERE.

THEY GIVE YOU FREE WINE AND CHEESE AND --

GO.

JUST MULL IT OVER. THINK ABOUT IT.

CLAIRE!

KADY!

CLAIRE!

OVER HERE, DAD!

RAGGEDY ANN AND SANDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH.

DAD, WE HAVE A CRISIS ON OUR HANDS.

SHE BURIED LITTLE PIPPY.

SO WHAT? I'LL BUY HER ANOTHER DOLL.

NO. I WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT HER,

JUST LIKE YOU WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME.

WRONG TWICE. LET'S GO.

IS SHE FOLLOWING US? NOT YET.

I FOUND HER! I FOUND HER!

I FOUND HER!

GOOD. WHERE?

OVER THERE!

SHE KIDNAPPED LITTLE PIPPY. I'M GONNA KILL HER!

NO, NO, NO. LET ME HANDLE THIS.

TAKE YOUR SISTER BACK TO THE LOBBY,

AND I'LL GO GET LITTLE PIPPIN.

PIPPY.

WHATEVER.

HI, RACHEL.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WELL, SWEETIE, IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE MY DAUGHTER'S DOLL.

TELL IT TO JUDGE JUDY.

LOOK, SWEETHEART, I'M JUST TRYING TO BE A NICE MAN.

THAT'S MY LITTLE GIRL'S DOLL YOU HAVE.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF FINDERS KEEPERS?

HA HA. FINDERS KEEPERS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL GIVE YOU A WHOLE $5 FOR THAT DOLL.

$5?! YEAH.

I BET IT'S WORTH $100.

$100?!

OKAY. I'LL GIVE YOU $100 FOR THE DOLL, OKAY?

I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU'RE WILLING TO PAY $100,

YOU'RE PROBABLY WILLING TO PAY $500.

$500?

YOU CERTAINLY DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN THERE, CARROT TOP.

LET ME JUST DIG DOWN HERE AND FIND THE $500.

WAAAA! THE BAD MAN STOLE MY DOLLY!

GO! RUN! RUN!

WAAAA! BAD MAN STOLE MY DOLLY!

HE'S A THIEF!

HEY, TAKE IT LIGHTLY, HUH, BROTHER?

YEAH, MULATTO.

THERE YOU ARE! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

WE HAD TO RUN AROUND THE HOTEL TWICE TO LOSE RACHEL.

WHAT? AND WHY ARE THEY DRESSED LIKE THAT?!

THAT'S A LONG STORY. WE DON'T HAVE TIME.

HI, KYLE FAMILY. WE ARE CHECKING OUT.

VERY GOOD. DID YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY HERE AT THE ROYAL HAWAIIAN?

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

DO YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR BAGS? NO, WE DON'T.

DID YOU FIND -- I SAID WE WERE FINE!

ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST PRINT OUT

ANY ROOM CHARGES YOU MAY HAVE INCURRED.

WELL, IT SHOULDN'T BE MUCH.

OF COURSE. LET'S JUST SEE, SHALL WE?

WOW, 2 PAGES IS A LITTLE MORE THAN I THOUGHT.

SOMETIMES THESE OLD PRINTERS JAM.

THERE WE GO.

[ PRINTER HUMMING ]

[ MICHAEL TAPPING FINGERS ]

CONGRATULATIONS, SIR.

YOU'VE BROKEN THE HOUSE RECORD.

WELL, THIS IS NOT ALL I'M GONNA BREAK.

YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T YELL AT ME, REMEMBER?

IT SHUTS ME DOWN WHEN YOU YELL AT ME.

Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll whisper it to you.

I'm gonna wring your little neck

until you shut down completely. You hear me?

I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN YOU YELLED.

HONEY, WILL YOU PAY THE BILL WHILE I KILL OUR DAUGHTER? OH, SURE.

THAT'S FOR THE MILK CARTON.

IS SHE INSURED?

SHE SURE IS. WE'RE GONNA USE THAT TO PAY THIS BILL.

DADDY, I AM SO SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.

BUT IN MY DEFENSE, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME PERMISSION

TO PUT THAT STUFF ON THE ROOM.

AND YOU SAID, AND I QUOTE,

"YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE ROOM IF IT COVERS YOUR BODY."

SO PLEASE, DADDY, DON'T KILL ME.

I LEARNED MY LESSON. I AM SO SORRY.

MAY I SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE? YES.

YOU ARE SO DEAD!

WELL PUT, SON.

THIS IS GONNA COME OUT OF YOUR ALLOWANCE

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

HA HA!

AND YOU CAN KISS BEAUTY SCHOOL GOODBYE.

HA HA!

$400 IN PAY-PER-VIEW FOR "LILO AND STITCH"?!

UH, I'D LIKE TO TAKE THAT "HA HA" BACK.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN KISS DAYCARE GOODBYE, TOO, MISS.

AND WHAT DID YOU CHARGE?

WHAT DID YOU CHARGE?

WHAT I GOT ON THIS TRIP, YOU CAN'T CHARGE TO A ROOM.

WELL, ACTUALLY IN VEGAS, YOU CAN.

NO, DAD. I MEAN HAPPINESS.

Jay: YOU KNOW WHAT? JUNIOR'S RIGHT.

BESIDES THE LAST HALF HOUR,

THIS TRIP DID GIVE US A LOT OF HAPPINESS.

AND SOME KILLER CLOTHES, TOO, RIGHT, POP? HA HA.

TOO SOON?

YEAH, TOO SOON.

SIR, THE WIKI WIKI SHUTTLE'S

GETTING READY TO GO TO THE AIRPORT,

AND YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE YOUR FLIGHT ON TIME.

GREAT. EVERYBODY, LET'S GO.

LET'S MAKE IT. LET'S GO.

JUNIOR, COME ON.

JUNIOR!

I'M NOT GOING.

LOOK, DON'T DO THIS TO ME, SON.

WE GOT TO GO.

DAD, I'VE DECIDED TO STAY.

I'M IN LOVE, AND I CAN'T --

I WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT LEILANI.

SON, YOU ARE NOT THINKING THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO SUPPORT YOURSELF?

I'M GONNA USE MY HEAD.

I'LL BE A HUGE TOURIST ATTRACTION!

WATCH THIS.

OW!

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT RIPE.

HERE, TRY THIS ONE.

OKAY. YEAH.

OW!

IT'S JUST A BAD BATCH.

HERE, TRY ONE MORE TIME.

OW!

YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? YOU'RE NOT USING YOUR BRAIN.

YOU'RE NOT THINKING STRAIGHT.

DAD, LEILANI'S THE GREATEST GIRL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

I LOVE HER.

HOW CAN I SAY THIS IN LESS THAN 60 SECONDS?

SON, LEILANI IS THE FIRST OF MANY GIRLS IN YOUR LIFE.

I KNOW RIGHT NOW SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S THE ONLY ONE FOR YOU.

BUT THIS IS JUST PUPPY LOVE.

IT'S THE MOST INTENSE, WONDERFUL,

PAINFUL EXPERIENCE IN LIFE.

BUT IT WILL PASS, OKAY?

AND IF IT DOESN'T,

I'LL FLY YOU BACK RIGHT HERE, THIS SAME HOTEL.

BUT RIGHT NOW, THE WIKI WIKI SHUTTLE'S WAITING FOR US.

WAITING TO TAKE ME, YOU, YOUR MOM, AND THE GIRLS HOME.

SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION.

I HOPE YOU CHOOSE WISELY.

I LOVE YOU, SON...

BUT I CAN'T MISS THE WIKI WIKI.

OW!

WAIT UP!

I REALLY ENJOYED MEETING LEILANI.

SHE SEEMED LIKE A REALLY SWEET GIRL.

YEAH, SHE IS. SHE REMINDS ME A LOT OF YOU.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

HEY, SAY GOODBYE TO THE HOTEL, EVERYBODY.

BYE, HOTEL. BYE, HOTEL. BYE, HOTEL.

SO, MICHAEL, DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?

ANY TIME I SPEND WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS IS A GOOD TIME.

BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND GET IN MY BED

AND WEAR MY OWN CLOTHES.

HEY, THERE'S THAT GUY AGAIN!

AND THOSE ARE MY CRITICALS!

TELL ME THAT'S NOT MY CRITICALS.

THOSE ARE YOUR CRITICALS. MICHAEL!

LEAVE IT ALONE!

BABE!

[ INDISTINCT YELLING ]

OKAY, EVERYBODY GET TOGETHER. SMILE.

SAY, "PARADISE!"

PARA -- PARA -- PARA -- PARA --

HA HA HA!

SHUT UP!

HONEY, WILL YOU PAY THE BILL WHILE I KILL OUR DAUGHTER? OH, SURE.

THAT'S FOR THE MILK CARTON.

MAHALO. MAHALO. MAHALO.

MAHALO OUT OF MY WAY.

I SURE HOPE DAD'S NEW MELLOW MOOD

LASTS LONG ENOUGH FOR HIM NOT TO KILL ME.

AAAAAAAAAH! OOH!

YOUR MOTHER LEFT -- HA HA HA HA.

AAAAAAH! OOH!

YOUR MOTHER -- YOUR MOTHER -- HA HA HA!

AAAAAAH! OOH!

[ Laughing ] YOUR MOTHER READ THE TICKET WRONG!

WHY CAN'T I GET THIS?

AH! YOUR MOTHER -- [ BABBLING ]