Original subtitles

DO YOU HAVE THE TICKETS?

YEP, I'VE GOT ALL 25 BOARDING PASSES RIGHT HERE.

WE GO NEW YORK TO SCRANTON, RIGHT? YEAH.

SCRANTON TO CHICAGO -- THAT'S THE WINDY CITY.

THEN WE ZIP OVER TO DENVER, SHOOT TO WISCONSIN,

ZIP BACK TO NEW YORK, AND THEN -- BAM!

NEXT DAY, STRAIGHT SHOT -- STRAIGHT SHOT TO HAWAII.

OH, MY GOODNESS. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN HERE.

WHAT?

YEAH, WE GONNA PLAY "HIDE THE MONKEY" IN HERE.

WELCOME TO THE ROYAL HAWAIIAN. MAY I TAKE YOUR LUGGAGE?

YOU CAN DEFINITELY TAKE MINE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME?

I PLANNED ACTIVITIES FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.

I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I WANT TO SLEEP LATE.

THAT'S OUR VACATION -- YOU SLEEPING?!

YEAH!

[ HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]

SO, YOU'RE REALLY NOT COMING WITH US?

NOPE.

YOU'RE REALLY NOT GETTING BACK INTO BED?

N-N-N-NOPE!

COME ON, JAY.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE MY SECOND HONEYMOON

WITHOUT MY HONEY OR HER MOON?

THE SAME WAY I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FAMILY VACATION

WITHOUT MY WHOLE FAMILY.

COME ON, KIDS!

IT'S 6:30 IN THE MORNING! LET'S GO HAVE SOME FUN!

ON DECEMBER 7, 1941, PEARL HARBOR WAS ATTACKED

BY THE JAPANESE IMPERIAL NAVY.

WHY?

BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO SINK OUR BATTLESHIP.

WHY? GOOD QUESTION.

THEY WANTED TO ENGAGE US IN WAR.

WHY?

AND BEHIND ME HERE IS A STATUE OF KING KAMEHAMEHA I,

THE HEAD OF A DYNASTY

THAT RULED HAWAII FOR OVER A CENTURY.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO CONSOLIDATE HIS POWER.

WHY? BECAUSE HE'S A KING, SWEETHEART,

AND THAT'S WHAT KINGS DO.

WHY?

AH, YES, NOW, KIDS,

THE BANYAN TREE, ORIGINALLY FROM INDIA,

IS A STAPLE OF THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS

AND ONE OF THE MOST UNUSUAL TREES IN THE WORLD.

WHY?

UNLIKE MOST TREES, WHICH FEATURE A SINGLE TRUNK,

THE BANYAN TREE CAN SUPPORT MULTIPLE TRUNKS.

WHY? BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY GOD MADE IT.

WHY? ASK GOD.

WHY?

'CAUSE YOU ABOUT TO MEET HIM. NOW BE QUIET.

WHY? BECAUSE I SAID SO, KADY.

WHY?

WILL YOU BOTH PLEASE JUST STOP IT?!

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?

BECAUSE I WAS HOPING YOU'D KILL ME,

AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT KING COCKADOODOO.

[ GASPS ]

WELL, IF YOU AREN'T INTERESTED

IN HAWAIIAN HISTORY, THEN WHY DID YOU COME?

BECAUSE YOU MADE ME.

I WANTED TO SLEEP IN AND GO TO THE BEACH WITH DAD.

AH, YES, YOUR DADDY.

I SEE ONCE AGAIN YOUR FATHER HAS POISONED

YOUR SIMPLE LITTLE MINDS.

IT'S NOT DAD'S FAULT.

WE HATE LEARNING ALL ON OUR OWN.

OKAY. FINE.

WE'LL GO BACK TO THE BEAUTIFUL HOTEL

AND BASK IN THE WARM, SUNNY SUN

AND PLAY ON THE SOFT, WHITE, SANDY BEACHES,

AND YOU ALL CAN BE JUST AS UNINFORMED

AS ALL THE OTHER TOURISTS

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT.

LOOK AT THIS.

WILL YOU STOP TORTURING ME? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

HELLO. HELLO!

HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.

IF SHE FALLS INTO THE OCEAN,

SHE DOESN'T NEED A FLOTATION DEVICE.

RIGHT BACK TO THE TOP.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, MAN.

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO HONK THE HORN ON THAT SUZUKI?

HELLO!

AH-OOGA! AH-OOGA!

HEY, WHOA. LOOK AT THIS BEAST --

THE TROGLODYTE -- COMING OUT OF THAT WATER.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT THERE?

HER VEINS LOOK LIKE A ROAD MAP TO VERMONT.

THAT'S MY WIFE.

YEAH, I DIDN'T SAY WHICH PART OF VERMONT.

I MEAN WHERE THEY MAKE THE MAPLE SYRUP.

THAT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL.

FORGET ABOUT IT. LOOK WHAT'S COMING DOWN THE BEACH.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? OH, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

I'M HER DADDY! THAT'S MY GIRL!

AAH! LOOK AWAY! SHARK!

[ SCREAMING ]

DADDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M COVERING UP WHAT YOU ARE NOT COVERING UP.

IT'S JUST A BIKINI.

IT'S JUST A BIT TOO TEENY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAY?

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT A VOLCANO WITH YOUR MOTHER?

SHE WAS DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY, SO WE BEGGED FOR SOME FREE TIME.

I WANT YOU TO GO INSIDE THAT HOTEL,

AND I WANT YOU TO PUT ON SOME CLOTHES ON YOUR BEHIND.

THIS IS THE ONLY BATHING SUIT I HAVE.

THEN GO TO THE HOTEL GIFT SHOP AND BUY A ONE-PIECE SUIT.

BY THAT I MEAN I DON'T WANT ONE PIECE OF YOU HANGING OUT OF IT.

OKAY. GIVE ME SOME MONEY.

NO. JUST SIGN IT TO THE ROOM.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU BUY

AS LONG AS IT COVERS YOUR BODY.

HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD THIS BEFORE?

[ SIGHS ]

[ BREATHING RAGGEDLY ]

MICHAEL!

MICHAEL!! WILL YOU BE A HUSBAND AND HELP ME OUT HERE?!

MAN!

I GOTTA DO EVERYTHING...

TALKING TO SOME KING COCKADOODOO.

I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE, BAKE IN THE SUN,

AND READ A TRASHY NOVEL SINCE MY HUSBAND DOESN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH

TO DO SOMETHING MENTALLY STIMULATING.

JAY, LOOK AROUND HERE.

YOU CAN'T BE MENTALLY STIMULATED BY THIS VIEW?

JAY? WHAT?

[ RATTLING ]

JAY! WHAT?!

OH, MICHAEL! GOOD FOR YOU!

THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU GET, TOO!

AND DON'T EVEN TRY COMPLAINING, EITHER!

[ GRUNTING ]

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO -- GET THE THING UP.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO STAY HERE,

AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DIDN'T WANT

TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY.

I SHOULD'VE LEFT YOU UNDERNEATH THAT UMBRELLA.

IT WAS QUIET UNDER THAT UMBRELLA, YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE NEXT YEAR, WE'LL GO TO PARIS,

AND WE'LL HAVE A NICE FIGHT UNDERNEATH THE EIFFEL TOWER.

THE WAY YOU BOOK FLIGHTS, WE MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW.

HA HA HA. YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU WANNA SIT HERE AND ARGUE? FINE!

FINE! NO...FINE!

FINE!

FINE, FINE, FINE!

OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

WE'RE IN PARADISE, BABY. I DON'T WANNA FIGHT.

JANET MARIE KYLE, LOVE OF MY LIFE...

WOULD YOU PLEASE JOIN ME TONIGHT

FOR AN EVENING OF FUN, ADVENTURE, AND SOME PEKING DUCK?

REALLY?

YEAH. I'LL BE DOING THE PEEKING, SO YOU BETTER DUCK.

[ LAUGHS ]

JUST BECAUSE I'M LAUGHING

DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK, MICHAEL.

COME ON, BABY, LET'S MAKE THIS A SECOND HONEYMOON.

LET THE KIDS BABYSIT EACH OTHER

AND WE'LL GO OUT, WE'LL HAVE FUN,

AND THEN COME HOME AND GET FREAKY-DEAKY IN THE TIKI-TIKI.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY. OKAY.

INCLUDING THAT BEAUTIFUL DRESS YOU'RE WEARING...

THAT'S $123.50.

UM, IS THERE ANY WAY YOU COULD PUT IT ON THE ROOM? 329?

VERY GOOD, MISS KYLE.

[ Laughs ] THANK YOU!

EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT ELSE CAN I PUT ON THE ROOM?

OH, ANYTHING. FOOD, DRINKS, SURF EQUIPMENT RENTALS...

AND, OF COURSE, THE SPA.

THE SPA? YOU MEAN, LIKE, FACIALS AND MANICURES AND PEDICURES

AND SEAWEED WRAPS AND MASSAGES?

WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES.

[ LAUGHS ] WELL, YOU'VE BEEN VERY HELPFUL.

THANK YOU.

OH, I LIKE THESE. CAN I PUT THESE ON THE ROOM?

VERY GOOD!

OH, AND I NEED ALOE CONDITIONER.

GOT IT.

ON YOUR ROOM?

LET'S DO THAT.

[ LAUGHS ] THIS IS GREAT!

GOD, WHY'D YOU PLAY THIS TRICK ON ME?

[ PANTING ]

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING, SON?

THIS IS CALLED THE TROPICAL SEDUCTION SUIT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S NICE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO SEDUCE A PARROT.

THANKS.

OH. I REALLY LIKE IT --

PLEASE EXTEND MY CURFEW -- HERE IN HAWAII.

YEAH, IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL -- BE HOME BY 10:00 --

PLACE IN THE WORLD.

YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU STAY OUT LATE, SON,

COME HOME AT 2:00?

OH, NO, DAD. I SHOULD BE HOME BY 10:00.

YEAH, WELL, WHATEVER YOU SAY.

I'VE BEEN USING YOUR SUGGESTION OF COMMUNICATING,

AND IT'S ACTUALLY WORKING.

I MET A GIRL AT THE LUAU LAST NIGHT.

GOOD FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN TO HER.

OH, I WILL BE.

I PLAN TO SAY "THANK YOU" AS SOON AS WE'RE FINISHED.

JUNIOR, AS YOUR FATHER,

I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD WAIT TO HAVE SEX,

BUT I CAN'T FOLLOW YOU AROUND THIS ISLAND,

SO I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO AT LEAST BE RESPONSIBLE.

I WILL, DAD. GOOD.

AND REMEMBER, THIS GIRL HAS FEELINGS,

AND YOU CAN'T PUT PROTECTION ON THE HEART.

OKAY, DAD. I'M GONNA GO TRY AND FIND HER.

AND, SON?

AT YOUR AGE, SEX IS OVERRATED.

IT'S A MINUTE OF THIS -- [ BABBLING ]

FOLLOWED BY EIGHT HOURS OF THIS --

[ IMITATES SNORING ]

OKAY, DAD. SEE YOU LATER.

THAT WHOLE "KING KONG" SPEECH FROM "TRAINING DAY"?

THAT WAS MY IDEA.

I SAID, "LOOK, D." -- THAT'S WHAT I CALL HIM --

"WE NEED ANOTHER OSCAR SO I CAN HAVE ONE TO PUT IN MY ROOM."

WOW.

SO, HOW ABOUT YOU? UM, TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF.

LEILANI'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NAME. DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING?

YES. IT MEANS "MOST BEAUTIFUL OF DAUGHTERS

WHO'S BEEN BLESSED BY THE WIND AND KISSED BY THE OCEAN."

REALLY? NO.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

JUST YANKING YOUR CHAIN.

IT'S THE HAWAIIAN VERSION OF BETTY.

OH.

SO, IS YOUR FATHER HERE?

NO, NO. HE'S SHOOTING "TRAINING DAY 2 -- ALL TRAINED UP."

I'LL BET THAT WAS YOUR IDEA, TOO.

YEP. SO, WHAT DOES YOUR FATHER DO?

OH, HE'S KING OF HAWAII.

WOW. DO YOU KNOW QUEEN LATIFAH?

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

OH...I HAVE TO GO.

WHY DON'T WE MEET BACK HERE AT 8:00 TONIGHT?

OKAY. I'LL BE WAITING RIGHT HERE.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M WAITING FOR 8:00.

OH, THAT'S VERY SWEET, LITTLE D., BUT, UM...

WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THE HOTEL AND REST UP?

YOU'VE GOT A LONG NIGHT AHEAD OF YOU, CUTIE.

I'M CUTE! I'M CUTE!

SHE REALLY THINKS I'M CUTE!

BABY, I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D HAVE FINE HABERDASHERY

LIKE THIS ON THE ISLANDS.

WELL?

YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE. GIVE ME THAT CAMERA.

REALLY? YEAH.

STAND OVER THERE.

YEAH, YEAH.

AND NOW, THROW THE BUTT OUT. THROW THE -- AW, YEAH.

[ LAUGHING ]

NOW, COME HERE.

WAIT. YOU EVER NOTICE HOW EVERY TIME WE GO TO KISS,

KADY'S SOMEWHERE AROUND?

WILL YOU STOP BEING RIDICULOUS?

I'M SERIOUS. WATCH.

SEE?

WOW.

GOOD, SHE'S GONE. COME HERE.

OOH! KADY! KADY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CLAIRE! JUNIOR!

LISTEN, YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE GOING OUT.

I WANT YOU GUYS TO ORDER ROOM SERVICE, AND DO NOT GO CRAZY.

SURE, DAD.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY, BABY, WE CAN HAVE DRINKS AT SUNSET,

AND THEN WE'LL HAVE DINNER RIGHT AFTER, OKAY?

GOOD NIGHT, YOU GUYS! I LOVE YOU!

LOVE YOU, TOO, MOM. LOVE YOU, TOO.

ALL RIGHT, I'M OUT OF HERE. SMELL YOU LATER.

OH, NO YOU DON'T.

I'M GOING OUT, TOO.

BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO WATCH KADY.

YOU'RE NOT SADDLING ME WITH LITTLE MISS ITCHY BUTT.

I'VE GOT A DATE. A "DATE" DATE?

YEP. WITH A "GIRL" GIRL?

MM-HMM. THAT'S A "LIE" LIE.

CLAIRE, I'M SERIOUS.

WOW. WELL, I WON'T STAND IN THE WAY OF A MIRACLE.

YOU GO.

OH, BLESS YOU!

DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD AT LEAST BRING HER A PRESENT?

UM...DO YOU THINK SHE'D LIKE THESE MACADAMIA NUTS?

WHY NOT? IF SHE'S GOING OUT WITH YOU, SHE IS NUTS.

KADY...

GET DRESSED. WE'RE GOING OUT.

I DON'T WANNA GET DRESSED AGAIN.

OKAY, FINE. WE'LL GO TO A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE WEARS ROBES.

OKAY, AFTER THE FACIALS, I WANT TO GET SOME NEW CLOTHES,

AND I SAW SOME JEWELRY I WANTED TO PICK UP.

AND THEN YOU AND I CAN GET SOME DINNER.

DADDY MUST HAVE GIVEN YOU A LOT OF MONEY.

WE DON'T NEED MONEY IN HAWAII. WE JUST PUT IT ON THE ROOM.

THIS IS SO GREAT.

LEILANI?

LEILANI?

STORY OF MY LIFE...

ALONE ON A BEACH, HOLDING MY NUTS.

JUNIOR? JUNIOR?

OH, SHE'S HERE! THANK YOU, LORD!

I owe you one! I owe you big!

HEY!

SORRY I'M LATE.

WERE YOU? I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

I HAD TO TAKE A LITTLE EXTRA TIME

TO GET READY FOR MR. WASHINGTON.

WHO'S THAT?

YOU, SILLY.

OH, OH! THAT'S RIGHT!

SO, UM, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

OH, I THOUGHT WE COULD LOOK OUT AT THE WAVES AND TALK

AND, YOU KNOW, JUST GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

OH.

YOU SOUND DISAPPOINTED.

WELL, I WAS JUST HOPING...

WE COULD DO SOMETHING ELSE.

LIKE WHAT?

[ WHISTLING, EXPLOSIONS ]

HEY. TO SECOND HONEYMOONS.

TO SECOND HONEYMOONS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, BABY?

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL ISLAND,

AND THIS BEAUTIFUL HOTEL, AND THIS BEAUTIFUL RESTAURANT.

HEY, WHERE ELSE WOULD I BRING

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD?

OH...

TO US.

YES. TO US.

[ LAUGHS ]

MMM.

OH, BABY, THAT'S GOOD. WHAT IS THIS?

SEX ON THE BEACH, OR,

AS I CALL IT, POKEY-POKEY IN THE SAND.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL GO GET US A PUPU PLATTER, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY?

EXCUSE ME, SIR, COULD WE GET A PUPU PLATTER

FOR THAT TABLE OVER THERE?

RIGHT AWAY, SIR.

Janet: [ Thinking ] LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL MAN --

PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.

OH, LORD, THERE HE IS.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT,

BUT I INADVERTENTLY PUT A MOJO ON THIS MAN,

AND NOW HE WANTS ME.

HE THINKS HE'S GONNA COME OVER HERE AND LAY ON HIS CHARM,

BUT I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO BREAK HIS HEART.

OH, MY GOD. LOOK WHO JUST WALKED IN.

AND LOOK AT ME! I'M LOOKING EXTRA FINE TONIGHT!

THIS WOMAN WANTS ME.

I MEAN, I CAN'T SAY I BLAME HER.

I MEAN, LOOK AT ME! LOOK WHAT I'M WORKING WITH!

I GOT TO PUT AN END TO THIS!

HELLO AGAIN. DON'T YOU "HELLO AGAIN" ME!

HELLO. LOOK, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

LOOK HERE, MR. CHEST AND ABS,

I DON'T WANNA RUIN YOUR VACATION,

AND I KNOW YOU'RE THIS BIG-TIME MODEL AND EVERYTHING,

AND YOU'RE PROBABLY USED TO GETTING EVERY GIRL

YOU SNAP YOUR FINGERS AT,

WELL, I'M DOING THE SNAPPING AROUND HERE,

AND I SNAP FOR MY HUSBAND.

YOU'VE BEEN COMING ON TO ME

STRONGER THAN LISTERINE WITH AN ALTOID CHASER.

ALL THE WAVING AND THE FLIRTING AND THE SMILING

AND THE COMING OUT OF THE WATER ALL WET AND GLISTENING,

YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE BREASTS

HEAVING TO THE RHYTHM OF THE OCEAN.

I SAW IT, BUT I NEVER FLIRTED BACK...EVER.

BUT --

DUT -- DUT -- DUT -- DUT.

PLEASE. I DON'T WANNA HURT YOU ANY MORE THAN YOU ALREADY ARE.

OKAY? NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,

I AM ON A DATE WITH THE ONE AND ONLY MAN I LOVE, MY HUSBAND.

GOODBYE. MAHALO.

OKAY.

OKAY!

HI, HONEY.

HEY, BABY. HOW ARE YOU?

CAN WE EAT SOMEPLACE ELSE TONIGHT?

YEAH. THERE ARE SOME WEIRD PEOPLE IN HERE.

MM-HMM.

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

AHH!

SO...HAVE I TOLD YOU

THAT YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD?

YEAH. GOOD.

TELL ME AGAIN.

YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD TO ME.

AND YOU ARE THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN ALL OF HAWAII.

[ GRUNTS ]

BOY, THE MOON LOOKS BEAUTIFUL ON THE WATER...

BUT NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU.

YOU'RE SO SWEET.

I THINK I LOVE YOU, LEILANI.

WELL, I KNOW I LOVE YOU.

LITTLE D.?

HEY.

IT'S TIME TO GET YOU HOME.

WOW.

WE REALLY DID MAKE TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS, DIDN'T WE?

WE SURE DID. LOOK AT THEM.

THEY LOOK RADIANT.

HAWAII REALLY DOES AGREE WITH THEM, BABY.

CLAIRE AND KADY'S COMPLEXION IS POSITIVELY GLOWING.

HEY. LOOK AT THIS GUY OVER HERE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A BIGGER SMILE ON HIS FACE BEFORE.

I WONDER WHAT HE GOT INTO TONIGHT.

I HAD SUCH A GREAT NIGHT. I REALLY DON'T WANT IT TO END.

WELL, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.

YEAH? OKAY.

SEX ON THE BEACH.

YOU HAD YOUR TWO DRINKS, BABY.

YOU KNOW YOU GOT YOUR DADDY'S ALCOHOLIC TRAIT.

YOU KNOW...

YOU MEAN...

[ LAUGHING ]

[ GROANS ]

WOW.

HEY, BABY, ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR SECOND HONEYMOON?

IF I'D KNOWN HONEYMOONS WERE THIS GOOD,

WE'D HAVE HAD A FIRST ONE.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU KNOW WHAT, MICHAEL? YOU WERE RIGHT.

WE REALLY DID NEED TO RECONNECT.

IT'S SO EASY TO DRIFT APART AFTER YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED

FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.

THANK YOU, BABY.

THANK YOU FOR CARING ENOUGH TO WORK...

AT BRINGING US CLOSER TOGETHER.

MICHAEL?

MICHAEL?

[ SNORING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

HEY, BABE. HMM?

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK I DID, BABE?

WHAT'D MY NOOKUM DO? WHAT'D MY NOOKUM DO?

WE DON'T HAVE A 1:00 FLIGHT.

NOT 1:00?

11:00.

EXCUSE ME! MAHALO! MAHALO! MAHALO!

OHH! YOUR MOTHER READ THE TICKET WRONG!

WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE IN 15 MINUTES!

LET'S GO! MOVE IT! COME ON! LET'S PACK!

NO, DON'T FOLD! STUFF! STUFF! STUFF IT! STUFF IT!!

[ GRUNTING ]

THAT MAN STOLE MY DOLLY!

WAAH!

$400 IN PAY-PER-VIEW FOR "LILO AND STITCH"?

DON'T DO THIS TO ME, SON. WE GOTTA GO.

I'VE DECIDED TO STAY.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO SUPPORT YOURSELF?

I'M GONNA USE MY HEAD. I'LL BE A HUGE TOURIST ATTRACTION.

WATCH THIS.

OW!

THOSE ARE MY CRITICALS!

[ SHOUTING ]

[ SCREAMS ]

CAN I TOUCH YOU?

OW!

OW!

OW!

OW!

OWW!!

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD TO ME.

OH, AND YOU -- OHH!

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

DID I MESS UP?