Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,960
The following programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,920
Have you seen this geezer?
Glen Campbell.
3
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,680
He works here.
Are you gonna introduce me?
4
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,760
(BOTH SCREAM)
He's my brother! I was wondering
5
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,600
if we might have that chat today
about the assistant manager-Shh.
6
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,760
Why would you do this?
I wanted to get your attention.
7
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,360
By kidnapping my boss?
Hundred days and thy shall be wed.
8
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,360
Why are you...?I got sent home
from work. There was a gas leak.
9
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,600
I just wanna ask you a question!
What do you want to ask?
10
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,240
You got Steve's number?Steve?
Steve! Your Uncle Steve!
11
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,920
You can stay at mine! Promise me
there's nothing dodgy going on.
12
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,920
I'm gone! So call 'em off!
13
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,880
(CLOCK BEEPS STEADILY)
(SNORING)
14
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,120
# JARVIS COCKER: Aline #
15
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:59,040
(SINGING IN FRENCH)
16
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,000
(SINGING CONTINUES)
17
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,479
(SINGING CONTINUES)
18
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,240
(SINGING STOPS ABRUPTLY)
19
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,680
Fifty years.
You what?
20
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,360
That's how long it takes
for this to biodegrade.
21
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,759
Oh, piss off. Ugh.
22
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,320
(GRIMACES)
23
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,160
Not on my street, son.
24
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,840
Go on.
(ENGINE STARTS)
25
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,080
(TYRES SCREECH)
26
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,160
(MUSIC RESUMES)
27
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,440
Oh, God!
28
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:10,840
(VIA RADIO): # ..people on the
narrow-mind streets. #
29
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,040
PRESENTER: "That Was Try A
Little Kindness..."Morning!
30
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,480
Did you sleep well?
31
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,960
Nah.
Oh, right.
32
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,640
Oh, my God!
Toast there for ya.
33
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,160
Erm, OK, great, thank you.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
34
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,800
Erm, are you... Are you having-
Breakfast of champions.
35
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,040
(RADIO CHATTER)
(DOOR CLOSES)
36
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,200
Morning, love.
Morning.
37
00:02:36,079 --> 00:02:37,800
He seems nice.
38
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,600
Well, did you talk?Er, no, but he's
not massively chatty, is he?
39
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,960
Is that your dressing gown?
Yup.
40
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,040
Oh, God, I'm sorry, Glen, I'm really
trying, but this is a lot.
41
00:02:48,079 --> 00:02:50,160
I-I k-know... I know love,
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
42
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,960
(SIGHS)
You know how I feel about secrets.
43
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,600
There's this massive one in the
garden. What's he even staring at?
44
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,640
I don't care who you are,
nobody's that deep.
45
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,280
Well, I'm just worrying about Ian,
love.Why?
46
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,400
Well, because that's your promotion,
what if he's upset him?Well, yeah.
47
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,560
You know we've got a wedding to pay
for.Yeah, hmm.
48
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,960
I think we need to take some action.
Mm.I think we need
49
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,680
to do something for Ian, really
nice, take him out for dinner.Yes.
50
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,360
Butter him up a bit. We'll take him
to the...Regency...Regency.
51
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,400
We'll show him the...
BOTH: Wantons.Exactly.
52
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,840
So, ask him today if he can do it.
Yeah, yeah. Alright.
53
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,280
Because, love, what I don't want
is for it to come between us.
54
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:24,320
(STUTTERS) Why would it?
Because we've been, you know...
55
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,440
We have been having a bit of a
difficult time recently.(MUMBLES)
56
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,240
No, because he...
I think he's just, like, depressed.
57
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,400
Well my mum was depressed, Glen.
And we couldn't get her off the sofa
58
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,880
for weeks, love.
And then one day, I realised,
59
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,600
"Hmm, no, Mum's not depressed.
Mum just really likes Bargain Hunt."
60
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,760
Cheers! Hi! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
61
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,160
Hmm.
(OLD TUNE PLAYS ON RADIO)
62
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,200
Morning! You sleep alright?
63
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,240
That cunt's got 'em all
on your borders.
64
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,840
Oh? Ah, well. Never mind.
Oi!
65
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,720
Morning, Roger! Hi.
66
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,920
The fuck was that?Tell me.
Alright? Why you're really here.
67
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,800
You in some kind of trouble?I told
ya. I'm looking for Steve Drummond.
68
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,680
(LAWNMOWER WHIRRS NEARBY)
69
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,840
Looks like he runs a tanning place.
70
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,680
Fucking hell. Steve Diamond?
71
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,560
No wonder I couldn't find the cunt.
72
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,000
Alright, well,
reckon I'll pop over there.
73
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,200
What, for a tan?
Behave.
74
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,440
I'm not asking for cancer.
(LIGHTER CLICKS)
75
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,080
He might not be there, Lee. I don't
think he's wiping down the beds.
76
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,080
Well, they'll know where he is,
won't they?
77
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,640
Don't worry.
I'll be out your hair by tonight.
78
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,840
Well, then...
79
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,280
that's it. There's
no other reason...Like what?
80
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,880
Right, then. (CLEARS THROAT)
(SNIFFLES) Well, it's, er...
81
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,960
It's been nice. Yeah...
82
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,120
Yeah. Erm... (CLEARS THROAT)
We'll be off to work.
83
00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:49,920
Post the keys through the letter
box-Will do, and I'll be off.
84
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,360
Alright.
Great.Great.Great.Great.
85
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,000
Look, Lee, I just think that...
86
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,840
That's hers.
Yeah, I didn't know you had it.
87
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,400
Yeah, it's not...
It's not for using.
88
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,120
It's a fucking egg cup, Glen.
Yeah,
89
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,520
you can't ash in that.
She ash-ed in it.
90
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,440
I'd just really...rather you didn't.
91
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,680
# YMA SUMAC: Jungla #
# Bam Babubam bubambam
92
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,000
# Bam Babubam bubambam
93
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,040
# Bam Babubam bubambam... #
94
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,240
Don't... Let it go.
95
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,040
Hey, let it go.
(STRAINING)
96
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,600
Let it go.
Just fucking... Can you stop...?
97
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,320
Well done.
98
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,000
(INHALES SHARPLY)
That was mother's, you prawn.
99
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,920
# MANNY CORCHADO & HIS ORCHESTRA
(FEAT. TITO JIMENEZ): Pow Wow #
100
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,960
(SINGERS VOCALISING)
101
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:09,520
(DOOR SENSOR CHIMES)
Oi. Outside!
102
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,720
(DOOR SENSOR CHIMES)
103
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,560
(TRAFFIC HUMS)
104
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,920
What you get sent out for?
Only one child in at a time.
105
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,280
(INHALES SHARPLY)
I feel ya. (EXHALES SHARPLY)
106
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,320
Good boy.
107
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,400
The tanning shop over the road is
closed.Seems that way, don't it?
108
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,480
Only, I'm looking for Steve.
Steve don't work the shop.
109
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,400
Got an office nearby.
110
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,880
Nearby? Where?
You gonna buy something or what?
111
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,720
I'd love to.
112
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,520
As you were.
113
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,880
Just that, my darling.
114
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,120
So, this office, where is it?
It's right next door. Darling.
115
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,920
(SCOFFS)
116
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,160
(VOMITING)
117
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,120
Oi! You...
Ugh!
118
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,040
Kids, eh?!
119
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,680
Lovely little thing, in't ya, eh?
120
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,120
Hi, Catherine.
121
00:07:45,159 --> 00:07:47,920
Yeah, so if you could just have
those numbers on my desk
122
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,920
by the end of play
then that'd be...
123
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,640
Kirsty!
Jen, hi!
124
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,080
Hello.
Mm, how's things?
125
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,880
Yeah. Great! Really,
126
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,320
yeah, yeah. How are you?
127
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,120
Mm. (CLICKS TONGUE) Look...
128
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,200
about your suspension...
129
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,600
Obviously, people talk.
130
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,120
I mean, a lot of stuff did
go missing. (LAUGHS)
131
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,800
I just hope you're OK.
132
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,320
Thanks, Jen, thank you.
133
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,160
Erm... And look, er,
134
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,960
if by "people" you mean Linda...
135
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,600
then yeah, pinch of salt.
136
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,559
Because she said some pretty
crazy things about you
137
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,679
crying in the ladies loo
every lunch time. So...
138
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,520
Yeah...
(LIPSTICK CLATTERS)
139
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,080
Look after yourself, Kirsty.
140
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,800
(SCOFFS)
141
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,000
(DOOR OPENS)
142
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,720
Glen?
(URINATING)
143
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,760
Oh, hi, Ian.
I wanted a word about last night.
144
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,240
Right. Yes, erm, OK Ian...Ian,
I-I can't apologise enough.
145
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,600
I mean-
What for?Well,
146
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,760
because Lee sort of...
147
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,040
kidnapped you?
No, no, no, no, no,
148
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,560
Glen, water under the bridge that.
No,
149
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,120
the thing is,
I-I just needed to ask,
150
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,360
did he mention me, at all?
(URINATING STOPS)
151
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,400
Hmm?
Afterwards?
152
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,120
Um...
153
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,000
No. No worries. Just wondered.
(URINATING RESUMES)
154
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,200
Well, erm, actually,
Ian, there was something
155
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,160
that I wanted to ask-
This might surprise you,
156
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,360
but I don't have many strong male
friendships.
157
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,520
OK...Sheila's always been my main
emotional outlet.
158
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,120
(ZIP ZIPS)
Well, of course, yeah.
159
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,120
(URINAL FLUSHES)
160
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,440
Mm.
161
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,440
But it feels like that's changing.
162
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,440
Well, yeah, er... So... So,
163
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,720
t-there was something I wanted
to ask you, actually.
164
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,600
(WATER RUNNING)
Er, Kirsty and I were talking
165
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,560
and saying how funny it is we never
see each other outside of work.
166
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,520
Fine.Er, yeah. And... And...
And so, I was wondering if, er,
167
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,040
if you might like to join us,
for, er, for...
168
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,840
for, join us for dinner.(DRYER
WHIRRS)There's a Chinese we like.
169
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,280
They know us there,
the...the Regency.
170
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,160
(DRYER STOPS)
Er, just off of junction 12.
171
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,480
And erm, yeah, well...
172
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,640
And actually, we're free tonight.
173
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,600
If, er...
174
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,480
Will Lee be there?
175
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,840
Absolutely!
Alright, then.
176
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,720
(LAUGHS) Your dick pills, Glen.
177
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,800
Thank you...Brian.
178
00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:34,800
Lee! Hi. It's Glen, er,
179
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,680
listen, mad idea, but i-i-i-if
you're still around if you haven't,
180
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,840
you know, left yet, then
we...we were thinking, erm,
181
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,000
"Let's take Lee out for dinner?"
Proper send-off,
182
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,080
that sort of thing!
We're actually going to...
183
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,720
to The Re...Regency...
"..if...if you could join us.
184
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,920
"you know, table's booked for seven,
so really hope
185
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,000
"that we will see you there."
186
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,400
(PHONE BEEPS)
AUTOMATED VOICE: "Message deleted."
187
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,440
You can go through now.
188
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,440
Cheers, my darling.
189
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,280
(SUN BED HUMS)
(TIMER TICKING)
190
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,200
(GENTLE SONG PLAYS IN ROOM)
191
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,000
(TIMER DINGS)
(GROANS)
192
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,200
(GROANS)
(SUN BED CREAKS)
193
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,440
Fuck me. The mahogany Nosferatu.
194
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:22,680
(LAUGHS) That's a bit of a freaky
outfit, innit?
195
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,560
Speak for yourself.
(BOTH LAUGH)
196
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,200
Look at you.
Oh!(LAUGHS)
197
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,560
BOTH: Oh.
198
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,480
Well, well, well...Lee Campbell.
199
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,680
What brings you all
the way out here?Well,
200
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,120
I saw your little flyer,
and I thought,
201
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,840
"Fuck me!
My dad's old mate, Steve Drummond."
202
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,320
It's Diamond now.
Diamond, yeah. Thought I'd slip over,
203
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,800
come see how the years have treated
ya.You mean, you sat
204
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,960
in
that reception for all this time,
205
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,680
just wanna have a pow-wow with me
about how well life's treating me?
206
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,360
Alright, clever bollocks.
Alright, you got me!
207
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,160
I got a business opportunity
to run by you.Heey!
208
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,720
Always a move, ain't there?
209
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,440
Go on then, hit me.Well,
the haulage business is thriving,
210
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,760
I wanna expand.
New trade routes in Spain.
211
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,440
it's a good time for it, Steve.
212
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,520
I'm looking for investment partners.
Hmm, what we talking?
213
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,600
Twenty, twenty-five...
214
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,760
What, bags?
That's a lump, ain't it?
215
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,720
Fuck me!
It's a sound investment, Steve.
216
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,560
Well, I hope you're not
gonna take my cash
217
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,720
and fuck off to Marbella
and start a new life, eh, Lee?
218
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,000
(BOTH LAUGH)
219
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,520
No! (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
220
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,480
(SLURPS)
I'll be honest,
221
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,560
I'm flattered
that you thought of me, Lee.
222
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,640
I knew I could rely on you.
(MUFFLED LAUGH)
223
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,520
Why? Cos I've done so well
for myself?Yes!
224
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,520
And also because, my old man,
he did look after ya.
225
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,880
And he also said
you was there for him.
226
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,840
Whenever he needed ya, he said you
was as solid as a rock!(LAUGHS)
227
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:57,080
Is that what he said?! (LAUGHS)
228
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,000
Well, I tell you what Lee.
How about this...?
229
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,440
Suck my big, ginger cock.
230
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,960
What?You heard.
You see, your old man was a prick.
231
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,640
And I, for one, am fucking glad
that he's croaked it.
232
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,680
(LAUGHS)
Fucking hell! Steve. Mate...
233
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,240
Oh, well, there's the thing,
you see, Lee.
234
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,120
I'm not your fucking mate.
235
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,160
A toxic manipulator.
236
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,000
That's what your old man was.
237
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,120
Hold up a minute.
So,
238
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:32,600
when I heard the great fucking Lee
Campbell was in my reception,
239
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,520
I thought, "What's that
slippery prick want, eh?"
240
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,440
See I don't know if you know,
I'm a bit of a boat now, Lee,
241
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,800
one of the chaps,
so I made a few phone calls.
242
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,280
Turns out someone's been a naughty
boy,
243
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,760
ain't they?Who've you been talking
to?Does "Bunny" ring a bell?
244
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,720
No.
245
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,440
Look at you.
Come crawling to me!
246
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,640
What would your old fucking
man say to that, eh?!
247
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,480
You fuck-(LAUGHS) Oh, what you gonna
do Lee? You gonna hit me, are ya?!
248
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,800
Go on, then.
No, Steve, I'm not gonna hit ya
249
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,000
cos you're fucking ancient.You know
the only one regret I have, Lee?
250
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,720
That I never give your fucking
old man a good hiding
251
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,680
when he was a-fucking live!
252
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,520
(LAUGHS) Yeah, we're done here.
I'll, er, see you later on Steve.
253
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:18,080
(DOOR RATTLES)
But then I thought, "Hold on,
254
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,640
"we've got the next best thing,
haven't we?"
255
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:25,040
What is this? A wind up?
(LAUGHS)
256
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:30,120
Nah.
I'm fucking trained, my old son.
257
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,960
Give me the fucking keys, Steve.
258
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,600
Krav Maga.
Krav fucking what?
259
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:38,480
I say bring it, cunt! Bring it!
260
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,080
Right, so, how...how... how...
how are we doing this?
261
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,760
We're gonna bring up examples
of your leadership capabilities.
262
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,080
Hmm. Great.OK?Great.
Yeah, w-which particular examples?
263
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,280
Just leave it to me, alright? You
just say something about neighbours,
264
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,720
and then I'm gonna do the rest. OK?
265
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,520
Right. Great, neighbours, yes.
266
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,080
So, how exactly do you want me
to...(DOOR OPENS)There he is!
267
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,960
(LAUGHS)
Here we are! Hiya.
268
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,760
Ian, I was just saying to Kirsty how
you live out by the golf course.
269
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,720
Lovely area.
270
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,720
Mm.Lovely.
Really, all that lovely, erm...
271
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,160
grass.
272
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,720
A-A-And the community there,
must be, you know, all the people...
273
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,080
Yeah.
..who live there...Sorry,
274
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,640
sorry, could I?
Oh, er, yeah.
275
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,600
(CHAIR SCRAPES)
276
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,240
(DOOR CLOSES)
277
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,200
(DINNERS CHATTER)
278
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,440
When's Lee getting here?
279
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,640
Erm...
280
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,840
# SHIRLY BASSEY: This Is My Life #
# This Is My Life...
281
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,920
(BOTH GRUNTING)
282
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,360
Don't be put off by, erm, er,
283
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,400
cos the food is really, er,
yeah, and you...
284
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,040
You've gotta try the wontons.
Doesn't he, Glen?Those wontons!
285
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,400
Oh, my God.(LAUGHS)Do not
get him started on the wontons!
286
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,800
See they're crispy, but
they're also very, very mois...
287
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,560
(TOILET FLUSHES)
288
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:09,079
# ..my life...
289
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,040
Just give me the fucking keys.
290
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:13,359
You're nothing.
(FABRIC RIPS)
291
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,119
Yes!
292
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,640
Just give me the fucking key.
293
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,880
(BOTH GRUNTING)
294
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,480
Mmm.
Mmm.Yummy.
295
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,760
Mmm.
296
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,920
Mmm.
He's not coming, is he?
297
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,640
H-He wanted to.He really wanted to.
He did want to.Yeah.
298
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,040
"I can't believe I'm not
gonna get to go to dinner with Ian."
299
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,160
That's what he said to us.
"I'm livid," he said.
300
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,720
"I'm actually livid," you know.
Yeah, he...he...he couldn't make it.
301
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,640
(GROANING)
302
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,760
Come back here you fucking...
303
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,320
Ugh.
Fuck.
304
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:06,360
Come back here. You're no big man,
Lee Campbell. You're nothing.
305
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,360
Do you hear me? Nothing!
Fucking lunatic!
306
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,800
(CONTINUES SHOUTING)
307
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,600
Fuck!
308
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,800
Sorry.
309
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,720
Just really wanted him to come.
310
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,320
Ah, well.
Yes. Ha ha.
311
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,000
Next time, I'm sure, you know.
Mm.
312
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,200
But you know, since you're here-
He's here!
313
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,680
Glen, I really need to talk to you.
314
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,320
You came! I didn't know
if you'd still be here.
315
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,480
Thank you. Thank you so much.
316
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,760
No, no, no, I-I-I'm not planning on-
Lee,
317
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,240
erm, we were just talking
with Ian about neighbours, actually.
318
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,720
(GLASS SMASHING NEARBY)
319
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,880
(INHALES SHARPLY)
320
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,120
Go on, then. Sit down, you fucker!
Oh...(LAUGHS)(Laughs)Eh?
321
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,320
Can't have you slags mullering
all the prawn crackers, eh, can we?
322
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:07,160
Lee! Sit here, eh? Next to me.
Alright.
323
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,120
Go on, what were you talking about,
neighbours?
324
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,280
It's funny you should say that,
yeah,
325
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,280
because recently Glen,
and he'll hate me saying this,
326
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,960
but he...he got everyone together,
all of our neighbours
327
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,040
to join on a group litter pick!
328
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,080
And there was a bit of reluctance,
wasn't there, at first?
329
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,840
But he banded everybody together,
Ian and he really, he got it done,
330
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:29,080
you see, and we actually
ended up with getting a new, erm,
331
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,800
a dog poo bin.Dog poo bin.
On the grassy verges. Grassy verges
332
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,280
So, that, you know... And if that's
not an example, I think,
333
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,280
of real leadership...
(TOILET FLUSHES)
334
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,240
..erm, capabilities, then...
(DOOR OPENS)
335
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:44,360
Sorry.
(CHAIR SCRAPES)
336
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,680
Hold on a minute.
337
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,280
They've whacked you right
by the khazis?It's fine!
338
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,520
You told me they know you here?It's
fine, Lee, it's absolutely fi...
339
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,600
Are we OK over here?
Yeah.Yes, thank you...
340
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,560
Yeah.(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)Tell
him you want another table.
341
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,840
No, no, Lee, no.
Something wrong with this one?
342
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,600
Yeah, no, it's lovely.
Really lovely.
343
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,400
What I'm really looking
forward to is old Poirot here
344
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,200
dropping his guts five foot
from my head.
345
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,160
I mean, if there were, you
know, another table...
346
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,040
That's not going to be possible,
I'm afraid.Hmm. Really?
347
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,000
Cos I can see one there.
Stop it.Can you see it?
348
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,040
Go on, have a little look.Stop it,
Lee. It's fine, honestly, it's fine.
349
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,840
Enjoy your meal.Will do.
Thank you. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
350
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,880
Thank you.
Yeah.Mm.
351
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,960
(UTENSIL CLATTERS)
Get your plates.
352
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,800
No.What's happening? Oh, no, Ian?
Ian? OK, yup. Get your plate.
353
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,040
Oi, hold up. What are you doing?
354
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,120
This table's reserved.
We're moving or leaving.
355
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,240
But if we're leaving, we're not
fucking paying.No, Lee! Stop it!
356
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,840
Stop it!
What we won't do is stand here
357
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,240
and be treated like utter shit cunts!
358
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,360
(WHISPERS): Sorry.
(VELCRO RIPS)
359
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,880
Glen, put your wallet away
360
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,960
or I'll stick it
up his arsehole Velcro side first.
361
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,040
Ricky!
Oh...
362
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,040
Ricky. (LAUGHS)
363
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,720
Anytime you want, son.
Lee, I'd rather just pay!
364
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,360
For fuck's sake, listen to yourself!
365
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,040
What is wrong with you tonight?
There is nothing wrong with me.
366
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,400
When are you gonna stop letting
people treat you like fucking shit?!
367
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,360
Where's the Old Angry Beaver?
368
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,200
50% off. Or we walk.
369
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,920
That's not going to happen.
370
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,400
Yeah, that's my offer, mate.
Take it or leave it.
371
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,320
You heard him.
372
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,480
Thirty and extra prawn crackers.
373
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,880
Forty and we don't leave you the
worst TripAdvisor rating
374
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,960
you've ever seen
in your goddamn life.(CHUCKLES)
375
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:01,840
Suck that!
(ALL GASP)Dickwad.
376
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,880
(WHISPERS): No.
No? No.No.
377
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,680
(SIREN CHIRPS)
Ugh!
378
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,680
(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
Ian!Be careful.
379
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,200
They're only keeping you overnight!
Don't worry.He'll be OK.
380
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,440
Oh, he, er...
381
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,400
Asked me to give you these.
(KEYS JINGLE)
382
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,000
Wants you to cover for him tomorrow
as acting assistant manager.
383
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,720
Ian! Cheers, Ian!
384
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,560
Thanks.
385
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,040
Congratulations, big man.
(LAUGHS)
386
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,680
Look, Kirst! Assistant manager!
(LAUGHS)
387
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,520
Kirsty!
388
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,280
(CAR DOORS CLOSING)
389
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,160
(PEOPLE CHATTER AND LAUGH)
Oh, here.
390
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,480
I, erm...
391
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,240
You fixed it.
392
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,480
(LAUGHS)
So, er, what do you want to tell me?
393
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,920
(SNIFFLES)
When you got here,
394
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,360
you said you need to tell me
something.Yes, so what it is-
395
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,000
Listen, right, you're my brother.
So, you know,
396
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,680
if I can help you then...
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
397
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,880
Thank you because-Just not...
Just not money, obviously.
398
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,920
You know cos, er,
399
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,200
every penny we've got goes
to the wedding fund! So...
400
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,160
Yeah! Core...
401
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,600
It's not that though, is it?
Don't be so stupid!
402
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,320
Course it ain't. I was gonna ask you
if I could stay for a few more days
403
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:37,040
because...I feel
like we're reconnecting.
404
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,800
I'm gone. Ha ha!
(CROWD GASP)
405
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,320
Liberty! Liberty and freedom!
OFFICER: Hey, stop!
406
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,480
OFFICER 2: Sir, stop, or I will
TASER you.Oh, shit!
407
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,840
Oh, shit! Is that a TASER?
(TASER CRACKLES)IAN: Argh!
408
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,120
Oh, my God...
(CROWD GASP AND MURMUR)
409
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,680
Yeah, it's, er-
Shall we, er...?BOTH: Yeah!
410
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,840
# BETTY CHUNG: Bang Bang #
411
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,920
(SINGING IN MANDARIN)
412
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,320
# Bang bang...
(SINGING IN MANDARIN)
413
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:10,920
# Bang bang...
(SINGS IN MANDARIN)
414
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,960
# Bang bang...
(SINGING IN MANDARIN)
415
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,560
# Bang bang... #
416
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,680
(SINGING IN MANDARIN)
417
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,680
(MUSIC ENDS)
418
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:28,160
Subtitles by Sky Access Services
www.skyaccessibility.sky
30943
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof