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1
00:00:00,625 --> 00:00:02,209
[TV static drones]
2
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,837
[bright tone]
3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,756
[unsettling music]
4
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,717
No one will biopsy my mole,
5
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,552
so I need to upload
myself so I don't die,
6
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,637
but even they require
Proof of Existence,
7
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,389
which I don't want to get,
8
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,058
so instead, I have to become
an exception by being famous.
9
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,435
- Hello?
- Hi.
10
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,936
Hey, how are you?
11
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,813
Okay, so I have an idea
12
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,314
that I'm sure will
make me an exception.
13
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,315
Do you wanna hear it?
14
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,151
- I'm in a meeting.
- Okay.
15
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:30,446
A couple of years ago,
during a really harsh winter,
16
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,448
a dolphin got stuck in a
canal in South Brooklyn.
17
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,782
Uh-huh.
18
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,701
It got trapped and
everyone could see it.
19
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,828
But the environmental
laws meant to protect it
20
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,330
stated that no one could help
it without the proper permit.
21
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,833
Long story short,
it ended up dying.
22
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,919
And, well, I guess
that's where this fun
23
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,881
family movie would end.
24
00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:50,299
What do you think?
25
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,009
Hello? Hello?
26
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,510
Hello, are you there?
Do you like it?
27
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,928
What do you think?
28
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:58,682
What about something
about your story?
29
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,809
That's my story
through metaphor.
30
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,895
No, babe, no metaphors.
31
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,898
Just big, sad speeches.
32
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,193
Call it... Gaytino.
33
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,487
Vanesja, Gaytinx.
34
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,198
Listen, do the credit
card commercial,
35
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:18,869
get what you need out
of it, and move on.
36
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,788
Okay. [bell ringing]
37
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,539
Okay, yeah.
38
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,540
Okay.
39
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:26,043
Roll playback on beach.
40
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:29,380
[soft festive music playing]
41
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,840
And action.
42
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,051
Julio. Hi.
43
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,806
So imagine you're on the
beach and you're happy.
44
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,770
On the beach and you're happy.
45
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,480
Jesus.
46
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,232
His mouth is so tense.
47
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,859
And it's like, you
know, I don't get it.
48
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,403
Does he not love credit cards?
49
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,654
It's a safe and convenient
way to earn miles.
50
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,198
I mean, that's the
brief. It's not... okay.
51
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,908
[exhales]
52
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:01,203
Julio, can we get a smile?
53
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,288
Uh, yeah.
54
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,543
Okay.
55
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,504
Less teeth. Like, uh...
56
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,008
Okay, can you bring
in the green tape?
57
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,300
Amazing. Thank you.
58
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,012
Hi again. Um, do you...
59
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,097
Perfect.
60
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,602
Yes. That. No, it's like, joy.
61
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:29,273
Julio, your eyes
are so, so fantastic
62
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,108
and energized and expressive.
63
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,027
You know, we just wanna
green screen something
64
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,362
that'll match that energy.
65
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,157
From the top.
66
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:42,786
You are on the beach
and you are very happy.
67
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,288
Hold it a little higher.
68
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,498
Yes, great.
69
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,250
Like you're almost surprised.
70
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,460
Like money.
71
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,627
Stunning.
72
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,628
Great.
73
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:52,796
Incredible.
74
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,799
[mysterious music]
75
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,844
♪ ♪
76
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,766
[doorbell rings]
77
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,896
Yeah, hi, Pirulinpinpina.
78
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,983
I... ooh, wasn't
expecting you to be slimy.
79
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,573
Okay, I wanted to talk
to you about this post
80
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,834
that you made on my behalf.
81
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,078
Sure.
82
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,913
It's a picture of me
sleeping and it says,
83
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,415
"Let's get this mondais right."
84
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,166
It was posted
Wednesday at 3:00 a.m.
85
00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:35,714
Okay, I guess I just
don't understand
86
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,384
what the point of
that picture is.
87
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,719
Did you just post this?
88
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,265
"Many apologies for
earlier mispost.
89
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:48,352
"A grave error on my
part, as eyes were closed.
90
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,478
"Please forgive.
91
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,854
"Let's get this Monday right.
92
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:54,775
It's Friday, eight
twenty too pm."
93
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,570
Pirulinpinpina, this doesn't
sound like me at all.
94
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,324
Pirulinpinpina?
95
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,412
I'm not using tone with you.
96
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,454
Don't use tone with her.
97
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,790
I wasn't. I wasn't using tone.
98
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:10,875
Jesus.
99
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:15,254
Vanesja, are you sure
this is gonna make me
100
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,964
an exception to Proof?
101
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,590
I'm not sure about this,
102
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:23,053
but I have high hopes
for the commercial.
103
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,138
[ringtone melody
plays] Hold on.
104
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,432
Another client needs me.
105
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:30,144
Hello, my dark star.
106
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:34,023
I have some big, bad news.
107
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,984
The poster for "Cunty
Little Rich Kids" came out.
108
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,194
They went with the
picture you don't like,
109
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:42,322
and the airline
mishandled your luggage,
110
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:46,578
so you'll have to wear
something of mine.
111
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,914
Oh.
112
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:51,957
Wow.
113
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,250
Red suits you.
114
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,085
Yeah, everything suits me.
115
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:59,423
Dustin, what's going on in
that little head of yours?
116
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,550
I don't know.
117
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,684
Share.
118
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,688
I just feel like the
world is so fucked up.
119
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:18,692
I've been on this show for,
like, 15 fucking seasons
120
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,779
and, yeah, I make a
shit-ton of money, right?
121
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:26,951
And I've got a house
in Bali, PlayStation.
122
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,037
It all kicks ass.
123
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,081
But like, for what?
124
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:35,751
You want another PlayStation?
125
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,546
Yeah, if we could get that
going, that'd be... no, no, no.
126
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,215
Damn it.
127
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,217
I took the subway yesterday.
128
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,927
Dustin, why?
129
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,470
'Cause I don't
wanna be in a car.
130
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,263
I wanna be out in the world.
131
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:51,225
I wanna be living
and experiencing.
132
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,852
Anyway, the train was,
like, super delayed,
133
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,979
and I started talking
to this homeless man.
134
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,316
I said, hey, what's your name?
135
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,984
I'm Dustin.
136
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,820
And he said he had
to take a shit,
137
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,656
and he said he couldn't,
and I asked him why.
138
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:09,660
And he told me that he'd
have to exit the station
139
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,370
in order to do that.
140
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,956
And re-entering, he'd have
to pay money, and he can't.
141
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,624
And, like, in that
moment, I like,
142
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:20,379
went into my, like,
empathic trance.
143
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,840
And so I was just
in his shoes...
144
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,217
[imitates whoosh]
145
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,593
Seeing his perspective.
146
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:30,515
It was like...
[trilling tongue]
147
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:36,812
You know. And, like, I saw it.
148
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,356
I saw it from his point of view.
149
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,859
The world's not fucking fair.
150
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,694
And that's just one dude.
151
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,487
There's so many like him.
152
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,697
And what am I doing?
153
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,115
I should help.
154
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:52,953
'Cause why else... why
else am I an artist
155
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,330
if not to make the
world a better place?
156
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,708
We can use this.
157
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,795
We can do an interview
158
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,714
with "Teen Vogue."
159
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,884
"Teen Vogue." I'm
fucking 39 years old!
160
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,218
The fuck.
161
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,804
Don't share that.
162
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,557
You don't even get it.
163
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,728
You're just a suit.
164
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:22,107
Big, corporate,
powerful suit lady.
165
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:26,445
You don't care about
the problems of people.
166
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,656
[ominous music]
167
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:34,578
The next L train will
arrive in 178 minutes.
168
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,830
Fuck my life.
169
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,208
I hate New York.
170
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,585
- Oh, my God.
- What?
171
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,253
It's my roommate. Don't look.
172
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,381
Oh, like, one of
the little ones?
173
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,840
Yeah.
174
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:47,966
Vibes bad?
175
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,593
Oh, my God.
176
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:50,969
I didn't tell you what happened.
177
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,638
Mm-mm.
178
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,265
Okay, so at first,
179
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,600
things were pretty chill, right?
180
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,686
Yeah.
181
00:07:58,530 --> 00:08:02,439
When she moved in, she
said she had some cousins
182
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,524
that were gonna come.
183
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,733
Not cousins.
184
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,193
Nothing's ever good
when they bring cousins.
185
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,113
- And could they stay with us?
- Ew.
186
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,700
And I was like,
yeah, okay, whatever.
187
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,243
I mean, you're so
tiny. Who cares, right?
188
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,452
Right.
189
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,705
So they come, and there's
like nine of them.
190
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:18,831
Again, no big deal.
191
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,915
Right, 'cause they're so small.
192
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,792
Right. And I don't
know, I figured
193
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,669
they're gonna go see
the Statue of Liberty,
194
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,546
be out and about, whatever.
- Sure.
195
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,048
But then one night
they're like, hey,
196
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,425
what should we do tomorrow?
197
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,969
And I'm like, have you
ever been to the Met?
198
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,096
And they're like...
199
00:08:34,091 --> 00:08:36,099
Wait, what?
200
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,391
I don't know, they're like,
201
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,560
strangely Christian,
like, evangelist.
202
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,644
I don't know, whatever.
203
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,312
It's annoying, but I
figure they'll go soon.
204
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,606
Oh, also, they're
obsessed with pizza?
205
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,066
What, do they, like,
eat your pizza?
206
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,401
Not like that, no.
207
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,819
It's like I bring pizza home,
208
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,320
and they run out
with little cameras
209
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,032
and take pictures of the pizza.
210
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,619
That's horrifying.
211
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,079
Anyway, later,
212
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,291
Pirulinpinpina's like,
hey, can they move in?
213
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,709
- No.
- Yeah.
214
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,127
She's so freaking tacky.
215
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,254
And I'm like, what? Right?
216
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,340
And she's like...
217
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:14,345
So I'm kind of like,
yeah, okay, whatever.
218
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:19,266
But what I didn't know is
that they, uh, multiply.
219
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,809
Do they, like, reproduce?
220
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,436
It's not a sex thing.
221
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,689
It's just like,
more of them arrive.
222
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,441
So anyway, now there's,
like, 50 of them.
223
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,901
- 50?
- Yeah.
224
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,028
There's 50?
225
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,201
And some of them are gay.
226
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,827
Living for that.
227
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,621
Yeah, it's, like,
impossible to get on Grindr
228
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,331
because the whole
grid is little ones.
229
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:45,876
Anyway, one night I'm doing
my go-go shift at Metro.
230
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,879
[pounding dance music playing]
231
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,215
♪ ♪
232
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,342
And I see the
cutie from the gym.
233
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,677
Ooh, the one with the big lips?
234
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,220
- Mm-hmm.
- He's cute.
235
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,388
Mm-hmm. And I'm
making eyes at him.
236
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,556
He's making eyes at me.
We're, like, vibing, right?
237
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:00,724
Mm-hmm.
238
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,519
So I invite him home.
239
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,654
[soft ominous music]
240
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,947
Can I get you anything?
241
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,281
I'm starving.
242
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,032
We should have
grabbed some pizza.
243
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,295
Who are these?
244
00:10:21,296 --> 00:10:24,164
These are the little ones.
They're my roommates.
245
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,250
Uh, they're from Wisconsin.
246
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,335
They love pizza.
247
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,548
Guys, come on. I got company.
248
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,383
- TV!
- Oh, shit.
249
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,427
You guys watch "True
Women of New York"?
250
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:37,886
Guys, come on.
251
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,431
So at this point, we're
having, like, a little party,
252
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,057
like drinks, whatever.
253
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,226
So I decided to take this
time to go and douche.
254
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,520
- Douche for that guy?
- Yeah.
255
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,439
Okay, not the vibes I
was getting, but work.
256
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,108
So anyway, I'm in the
bathroom for a while,
257
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,861
and the party's still going on
outside, so it's no big deal.
258
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:59,450
But then I hear the party
stop, so I go outside.
259
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,618
Diego?
260
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:08,083
[laughing]
261
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:12,172
Diego?
262
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,467
Oh, I see.
263
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,135
Mm. Pizza.
264
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,887
[grunts, laughs]
265
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,681
I walk into the master bedroom.
266
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,516
Diego?
267
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,601
Were they, like...
268
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,269
Hey.
269
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,398
I don't even wanna tell you,
but he's like, come here.
270
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,567
What did you say?
271
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,527
I'm good.
272
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,281
I'm gonna be in the living room.
273
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,950
Call them out on their bullshit.
274
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,160
Yeah, okay. You're right.
275
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,954
Did you say, hey, don't
fuck the guys I bring home?
276
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,164
Yeah.
277
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,500
So what did you say?
278
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,710
Pizza, pizza.
279
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,589
No. No.
280
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,259
Look, I feel like
some of you think
281
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,512
that because we share a space
282
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:05,349
that maybe I'm down
to share everything.
283
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,935
And I guess normally
that's true.
284
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:11,230
It's just that
I... I don't know.
285
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:16,026
It hurts my feelings to feel so
invisible among you sometimes.
286
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,112
And I don't want the
vibe to be toxic.
287
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:21,323
And, you know, I don't
want you guys to feel like
288
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,658
it isn't your safe space,
289
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,159
because it's also my safe space,
290
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:29,248
and I wanna be able to share,
but I can't share everything.
291
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,751
I don't know. I hope
that makes sense.
292
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,754
Are we good?
293
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,382
Babe.
294
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,051
Wait, did you guys get tickets?
295
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,262
Can I still get some?
296
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,640
Oh, Jesus.
297
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,392
Hey.
298
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,060
Hey, man.
299
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,562
Hey.
300
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:54,064
Yeah, I know.
Let's take a cab.
301
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,317
Come on.
- Bye, Diego.
302
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:01,697
Next up, Gina and Bibo.
303
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,074
And you'll do a scene
from "Marriage Story."
304
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,910
"Marriage Story," yes.
305
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,957
Could I get a minute?
- Yeah, take your time.
306
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:13,967
Okay.
307
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,590
Your hair is fine, Gina.
308
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:22,810
[sighs]
309
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,474
You always hated me.
310
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,476
That's not true, dot, dot, dot.
311
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,019
That was never true, dot.
312
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,480
What are you talking
about, question mark.
313
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,857
You are my wife, dot.
314
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,233
Okay, let's stop.
315
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,070
I'm sorry, did you have a note?
316
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,279
Um.
317
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,157
What's the feedback?
318
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,785
I just see robot.
319
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:52,748
I see a robot pretending
to love this woman.
320
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:56,126
And because you are
giving nothing but robot,
321
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:59,005
you are forcing her to overact.
322
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,258
Is everything okay?
323
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,302
[whirring]
324
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,554
- See you later, Bibo.
- Bibo.
325
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,723
Bibo.
326
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:10,808
Do you know about the dress?
327
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,727
The 2017 viral image
featuring a dress
328
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,104
that was blue and black to some,
329
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,231
white and gold to others.
- Yes.
330
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:21,068
The dress isn't one thing
and then another thing.
331
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,862
The dress can be more
than one thing at once.
332
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:28,992
You can be a robot and an actor.
333
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:34,993
Maybe just use your
robotness to be...
334
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,668
an actor.
335
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,921
It's grown. It's
definitely grown.
336
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,132
I bet WebMD is gonna
be really comforting.
337
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,135
[ominous music]
338
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,678
♪ ♪
339
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:50,098
Oh, what is this?
340
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,186
Oh, good, good,
good, good, good.
341
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,188
I bet I'm gonna have
this online doctor's
342
00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,649
undivided attention.
343
00:15:00,642 --> 00:15:02,861
[camera shutter clicks]
344
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:08,862
♪ ♪
345
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,498
[phone chimes]
346
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,877
[groans] What is it?
347
00:15:20,831 --> 00:15:22,797
Fuck.
348
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:27,593
♪ ♪
349
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:31,930
Um, it looks fine.
350
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,849
Hey, lady, you can't
be doing that here.
351
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,268
Get up. Come on.
352
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,063
- Gotta get up.
- No.
353
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,273
[sighs] Fuck.
354
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,360
I pressed the wrong thing.
355
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,528
Whatever. It's just a biopsy.
356
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:52,529
♪ ♪
357
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,507
Oh, Jesus, a scalpel.
Okay, it's gonna hurt.
358
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,425
Please, I'm working on getting
an exception for Proof,
359
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,760
but I don't know that
I have a lot of time.
360
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,845
My doctor's actually worried,
and he ordered a biopsy.
361
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,931
Well, not the doctor,
but the person on the app
362
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,892
who I think are technically
doctors, and I, um...
363
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,895
[soft wondrous music playing]
364
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,314
♪ ♪
365
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,440
What's that sound?
366
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:29,441
♪ ♪
367
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,990
What's this?
368
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,034
This shipwreck on a reef
encrusted with little oysters?
369
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:37,413
[soft chimes]
370
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:40,124
It's missing an oyster.
371
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,584
Yeah, it's an old
family heirloom.
372
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:46,172
Priceless, but worthless
without that missing piece.
373
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,594
I think I know where it is.
374
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,141
If I bring it to you, do you
think you could upload me?
375
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,313
We could pay off Dad's
bills with that money.
376
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,775
- All of them?
- Yeah.
377
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:12,776
♪ ♪
378
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,576
Fine.
379
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,120
You bring the oyster,
you don't need the Proof.
380
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,956
Great. How hard can it be?
381
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:26,171
To find a tiny mini...
382
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,801
[tense music]
383
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,764
♪ ♪
384
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:40,601
Tabitha, those
books are forbidden.
385
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,895
- Hey, slut.
- Not this green wig.
386
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,355
It's not a wig. It's natural.
387
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,940
I'm dead. You're an
icon and I love you.
388
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:47,941
Mwah, mwah.
389
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,485
Meet my friends.
Meet my friends.
390
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,695
It's Tyler, Ryan,
Ryan, and Jason.
391
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,780
Do you want a drink, babe?
392
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,865
Yeah. You know what I like.
393
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,700
Okey dokey.
394
00:17:56,701 --> 00:18:00,120
[upbeat music playing]
395
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,289
Unlock the power of natural...
396
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,667
Ugh, someone made a fake
profile of me again.
397
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,710
Well, that's how you
know that you've made it.
398
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,212
That happens to me all the time.
399
00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:11,215
Oh, are you, like, an
actor or something?
400
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,384
I'm like an actor, yeah.
401
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,177
Yeah, Trish is a whole thing.
402
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:16,345
What have you been in?
403
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,472
"That Time We Were
There" on Amazon,
404
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,057
"Summer's Only Once
a Year" on Netflix,
405
00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:22,059
"The Tooth Fairy"
remake on Zappos.
406
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,770
Lots of stuff.
- I'll have to check it out.
407
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,605
[phone chimes]
408
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,232
Hi, Emily. Luis here.
409
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,692
Here's the fan art
you commissioned.
410
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:33,195
Always available
if you want more.
411
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,530
Thanks, Luis.
412
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:38,158
Kindly, Emily, manager
and publicist for Trish.
413
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:41,161
[mysterious music]
414
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,663
♪ ♪
415
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,289
Trish's number one fan here.
416
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,626
Check out this piece I
made in honor of my muse.
417
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,506
And I admire that
because it's a lifestyle.
418
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:55,509
Wow.
419
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,428
Always so surprised
and honored by my fans.
420
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,929
My life is so crazy.
421
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,515
I can't believe I inspire
real fans unprompted
422
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,184
to make fan art of me.
423
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,187
Oh, my God, Trish, the
thing you just reposted.
424
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:08,605
Let me see.
425
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,608
"The Glenda we all deserve."
426
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,777
Shots fired.
427
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,113
- Who made that?
- @TrishFanboy.
428
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,533
Trish is so famous,
she has fan accounts.
429
00:19:19,445 --> 00:19:23,454
Well, diamonds are a
girl's best friend.
430
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,372
Yeah, if they're
real. [laughter]
431
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,499
She's so stupid.
432
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,294
Yeah, she's stupid.
433
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,671
Ugh, I wanna go there.
434
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,340
That's my dream place.
435
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,009
I've been there.
436
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,428
- Gay icon.
- Gagging for my queen.
437
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,763
Slay.
438
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,306
Oh, my God, Trish is so iconic.
439
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,183
Honey, the queen has arrived.
440
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,101
Hey, @TrishFanboy, this is Luis.
441
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,561
I was commissioned
by Trish's team
442
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:49,188
to make this art for a charity.
443
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,398
Please tag me
whenever you repost.
444
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,733
Thanks.
445
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:58,734
♪ ♪
446
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,576
Hi, Luis, Emily again.
447
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,411
You are not allowed to
promote your services
448
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:05,829
using the work we
commissioned from you.
449
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,331
Those were for charity.
450
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,124
Unfortunately, we
will not be able
451
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,834
to compensate you
for this piece.
452
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,586
I can't think about
this right now.
453
00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,838
I've got a lunch tomorrow
with some of the city's
454
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,674
biggest movers and shakers.
455
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,092
Last night I was thinking...
456
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:19,510
What charity?
457
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,179
They're only posted by
some random fan account.
458
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:27,851
Wait, is she the fan account?
459
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,895
To eavesdrop on personal,
private conversation
460
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,272
between friends.
461
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,983
Wait, so she paid
for her own fan art?
462
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,695
[tense music]
463
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:40,656
Yeah, and I have receipts.
464
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:45,536
♪ ♪
465
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:48,623
[laughter]
466
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:58,299
Bitch.
467
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,550
[laughter]
468
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,051
Oh, my God.
469
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,386
OMG, Trish, you missed it.
470
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,721
Rewind for Trish.
471
00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,055
Hey, rewind it.
472
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:06,766
Derrick, it's live.
473
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,229
[phone chimes]
474
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,856
You can keep blocking me,
475
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,733
but I'll just keep
making new accounts.
476
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,234
[laughs]
477
00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:18,485
Have you guys ever
had an online stalker?
478
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,404
Is someone stalking you?
479
00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:22,573
Oh, no, not me. I'm
helping a friend out.
480
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:24,074
He has this, like,
crazy guy that
481
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,200
keeps making fake accounts.
482
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,994
Some homophobic psycho.
483
00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:28,912
That's so nice of
you to help him out.
484
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:31,165
I mean, he could just
make his account private.
485
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,916
No, he wants to be seen.
486
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,502
How do you get them to
stop making new accounts?
487
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,421
I don't think you can.
488
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,174
It's so toxic.
489
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:43,260
Wait, is she
blocking people now?
490
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:45,179
Hey, Luis, DM me.
491
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:47,806
I knew it. This girl
isn't even famous.
492
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,141
Is she serious?
493
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:50,267
This is actually...
494
00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:53,145
[overlapping voices]
495
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,105
Hey, Derrick, can I talk
to you for a second?
496
00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:57,900
Sure.
497
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,193
BRB.
498
00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:01,070
Let me know what happens.
499
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,529
You okay? What's up?
500
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,573
I need you to help me block
someone, like, permanently.
501
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:05,908
This is for your friend?
502
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:07,117
Yeah, I need you to ask Jeremy.
503
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:09,036
- Jeremy?
- Your fucking boyfriend?
504
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,788
He works at Facebook now.
- Uh-huh.
505
00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:13,082
I need him to block them.
They keep making accounts.
506
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,291
I need to block them from, like,
507
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:15,376
their IP address or something.
I don't fucking know.
508
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,127
What is this about?
509
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:19,296
- I'm this.
- Uh-huh.
510
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,215
No, listen, I'm the fan account.
511
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:22,800
- You drew this?
- No.
512
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,259
My manager commissioned it.
- Why?
513
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:25,552
She fucked up.
514
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:26,720
She found this guy
on I don't know where
515
00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:28,555
to make a fan art of
me for the fan account.
516
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,475
So this fan account
is run by you?
517
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,477
Everyone does it.
Everyone does.
518
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:36,021
I'm iconic. Look at
me. I'm a whole thing.
519
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,356
But this is not a real fan.
520
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,565
But the art inspires
a lot of people.
521
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,109
To make art of you?
522
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:41,944
Yes, but now the artist
is telling people.
523
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:43,237
Now people know.
524
00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:44,363
But not if we
permanently block him.
525
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:45,614
- Who made this?
- Some kid.
526
00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:46,699
I don't know. Emily found him.
527
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,992
- Emily?
- My fucking manager.
528
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,369
She keeps doing this.
529
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,829
She's obsessed.
530
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:53,163
She wants to "Single
White Female" me.
531
00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,373
Emily what?
532
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:56,333
What if all the gays turn on me?
533
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:57,876
- Emily what?
- What?
534
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,921
What is your
manager's last name?
535
00:23:01,673 --> 00:23:05,009
Oh. Trish.
536
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:07,678
And the Red Nose Day issue?
537
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:10,681
The GoFundMe for
that kid? [laughs]
538
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,975
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
539
00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:15,352
No one is posting
fake photos of you.
540
00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,104
No one's catfishing as you.
541
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,148
Baby, are you on crack?
542
00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:22,192
What is wrong with
you? You're not famous.
543
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,111
You're paying people
to make fan art of you.
544
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:26,865
I'm dead. I'm literally
freaking dead.
545
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,996
[eerie music]
546
00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:39,997
♪ ♪
547
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:43,798
I'm iconic.
548
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:47,509
I'm... I'm iconic.
549
00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:49,762
Iconic.
550
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:51,764
Everyone's obsessed with me.
551
00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:54,976
Everyone's obsessed
because I'm iconic.
552
00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:59,105
Thanks.
553
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:07,696
The next L train will
arrive in 248 minutes.
554
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:10,240
Hey, I'm worried about
Derrick's drinking.
555
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:12,409
He was really
sloppy when I left.
556
00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:13,827
He could have
really hurt himself.
557
00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:17,581
[whirring]
558
00:24:17,582 --> 00:24:20,584
[mysterious music]
559
00:24:20,585 --> 00:24:25,882
♪ ♪
560
00:24:28,802 --> 00:24:33,013
Martine.
561
00:24:33,014 --> 00:24:35,516
Martine!
562
00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:38,310
[chuckles] Oh, my God.
563
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:40,020
God, you didn't hear me?
564
00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:42,106
I was just calling your
name, like, three times.
565
00:24:42,107 --> 00:24:43,899
What... gosh. Oh.
566
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,901
Are you still in performance?
567
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:48,654
What was it? Um...
Vanessa, right?
568
00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:53,200
Vanesja with a J.
Like the hotels.
569
00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:55,494
Sure. Right. Gosh.
570
00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:57,705
You took my course years ago.
571
00:24:57,706 --> 00:24:59,832
You know, I was so
riveted when I heard
572
00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:03,460
you were so committed
to your thesis.
573
00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:06,130
But some people are like,
oh, yeah, no, I don't think
574
00:25:06,131 --> 00:25:07,756
she's in performance anymore.
575
00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:10,300
I think she's
genuinely an agent.
576
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,887
But that's not true, is it?
577
00:25:15,557 --> 00:25:17,766
Huh.
578
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:20,436
You're not prolonging
your performance piece
579
00:25:20,437 --> 00:25:23,147
'cause you're scared of
graduating with an arts degree
580
00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:25,899
and not having
money or insurance
581
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:29,445
or qualifying for Proof
of Existence, right?
582
00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:31,613
I mean, you're not
having your cake
583
00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,575
and eating it too, are you?
584
00:25:36,161 --> 00:25:37,828
- I have to go.
- Sure.
585
00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:42,541
Yeah, I have a very
important cli... client.
586
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,543
- Client.
- Waiting.
587
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:45,627
Sure.
588
00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:48,255
[claps] Very nice.
589
00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:51,258
You know, Vanesja,
like the hotels,
590
00:25:51,259 --> 00:25:53,052
the job of the artist
is to make people
591
00:25:53,053 --> 00:25:54,928
see things in a different way.
592
00:25:54,929 --> 00:25:58,807
How does this performance
change anything?
593
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:01,518
Just something for you
to go home and munch on.
594
00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:02,936
All right?
595
00:26:02,937 --> 00:26:04,104
I'm not gonna wait
for the bus anymore.
596
00:26:04,105 --> 00:26:06,315
I think I'm gonna walk.
597
00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:09,109
You can't even walk in
those shoes, can you?
598
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:12,946
You're weak. You're weak.
599
00:26:12,947 --> 00:26:14,365
Excuse me.
600
00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:17,034
[soft pensive music]
601
00:26:17,035 --> 00:26:19,620
I should help.
602
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:21,455
Why else am I an artist
603
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:24,541
if not to make the
world a better place?
604
00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:30,542
♪ ♪
605
00:26:40,558 --> 00:26:41,642
Hey, babe?
606
00:26:41,643 --> 00:26:43,268
Hey. Hi.
607
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:46,271
Sorry, I'm... I'm sort of
in the middle of something.
608
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:48,524
I... I finally got a biopsy,
609
00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:52,778
and the, uh, the... the
doctor seems kind of worried.
610
00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:55,781
Aw, listen, I think
we're gonna have to find
611
00:26:55,782 --> 00:26:58,867
another way to get
you an exception.
612
00:26:58,868 --> 00:27:00,411
Wait, why?
613
00:27:00,412 --> 00:27:04,873
Well, it's just, you look
amazing in the photo,
614
00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:08,210
but, um...
615
00:27:08,211 --> 00:27:10,546
it's just not your face.
616
00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:13,257
So I think our only option
now is to pitch Zappos
617
00:27:13,258 --> 00:27:14,717
that idea of yours.
618
00:27:14,718 --> 00:27:16,719
You know, the how I...
619
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,262
[laughs] No, no.
There is no way.
620
00:27:18,263 --> 00:27:21,099
I will not be selling
out. Thank you.
621
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:23,767
Hello.
622
00:27:23,768 --> 00:27:24,935
I hear you have an
idea for a show for us.
623
00:27:24,936 --> 00:27:26,520
I do, and I am very excited
624
00:27:26,521 --> 00:27:27,688
to be sharing it with you today.
625
00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,857
Okay, so remakes are
very in right now, right?
626
00:27:29,858 --> 00:27:31,775
Right, right, right.
Okay, give it to me.
627
00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:33,569
Feed me. Feed Susana.
628
00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:37,364
Okay, so how about a
remake of "The Lion King"?
629
00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:41,577
Uh, this remake stars a zebra,
just, like, a random zebra
630
00:27:41,578 --> 00:27:42,786
that otherwise
would be considered
631
00:27:42,787 --> 00:27:44,538
an extra in the movie.
632
00:27:44,539 --> 00:27:46,915
But this zebra is like, wait,
why are lions our leaders?
633
00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:48,792
Who elected them the leaders?
634
00:27:48,793 --> 00:27:52,004
Why do we have to bow down to
them and get eaten by them?
635
00:27:52,005 --> 00:27:54,548
So then the zebra
leads the revolution,
636
00:27:54,549 --> 00:27:56,967
but then the zebra does
end up getting eaten.
637
00:27:56,968 --> 00:28:00,929
But as the zebra lays dying,
looking up into the heavens
638
00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:03,557
with, like, maybe, like,
the sun reflected on his eye
639
00:28:03,558 --> 00:28:07,353
and thinking, well, you
know, at least I tried.
640
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,897
Ugh! Cut the bullshit.
641
00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:12,024
- Hmm?
- Huh?
642
00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:14,735
Cut the bullshit.
643
00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:16,653
You know what we want,
and we know what you want.
644
00:28:16,654 --> 00:28:18,989
You need a little piece of
paper that says you don't need
645
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:20,741
another little piece of paper.
646
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:22,159
If you don't sell a show,
647
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,453
you don't get exception
from Proof of Existence,
648
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:26,830
and you don't get
to upload yourself.
649
00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:27,831
That's right.
650
00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:29,833
I got your medical records.
651
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:33,504
Zappos level intel.
652
00:28:33,505 --> 00:28:36,340
I know you're expecting bad
news, and selling a show
653
00:28:36,341 --> 00:28:38,175
is the only way to
become incorporeal,
654
00:28:38,176 --> 00:28:40,594
given that your little oyster
is at the bottom of the sea.
655
00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:44,640
So let's quit
playing games, huh?
656
00:28:44,641 --> 00:28:46,892
Grow up. Give us what we want.
657
00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:48,352
Give us your trauma.
658
00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:49,895
Give it to us funny.
659
00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:54,233
Give it to us en
espanol, por favor.
660
00:28:54,234 --> 00:28:58,612
Okay, well, I do have an
idea in case of emergency.
661
00:28:58,613 --> 00:29:00,072
Mm-hmm. Yes?
662
00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:02,658
I was hoping I would
never have to use.
663
00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:04,952
Mm-hmm. Say it.
664
00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:06,161
[tense music]
665
00:29:06,162 --> 00:29:08,747
It's a script titled...
666
00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:09,874
Well, say it.
667
00:29:19,134 --> 00:29:22,219
[laughs]
668
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,721
That's a show.
669
00:29:23,722 --> 00:29:26,850
[laughing]
670
00:29:28,309 --> 00:29:29,394
Okay.
671
00:29:31,563 --> 00:29:34,523
[mysterious music]
672
00:29:34,524 --> 00:29:40,524
♪ ♪
673
00:31:01,653 --> 00:31:04,030
[bright tone]
674
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:08,630
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