Original subtitles

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12, a 2-11 in progress.

One-Adam-12, handle, code 3.

♪♪

Officer Malloy.

Um...

I was checking these reports and you forgot to sign your 484 PS.

Whatever that is.

Hi, there.

Um, I noticed it while looking through the stuff

that was piled up on my desk.

There you go.

Thank you.

And you're doing a great job whoever you are.

Hey, come on, you guys, I'm serious.

What are these things made out of?

I don't know, Ed. I never had mine stolen.

You see that new girl in records?

No.

Yeah, not bad.

What's her name?

Did you look at her ID card?

Well, no, I couldn't read her handwriting.

It was Marilyn something.

Tate. Marilyn Tate.

Not bad.

Yeah, you better get you radar fixed, buddy.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm just trying to warn you, Pete.

She's from deep freeze Montana.

- You know Philmore over at communications? - Yeah.

Yeah, well, he took at shot at her the first day she was here on vacation relief.

He's still in the intensive care unit at County General.

You're kidding.

I wouldn't kid you, Malloy.

Well, what did Philmore do to get himself so messed up?

Well, this is all second hand.

But the way he tells it, he took her out to dinner.

Spent a fortune.

Then he took her to a play. Spent a fortune.

He took her out for drinks afterwards and spent a fortune.

And on the way home, walking up to the front door,

he reached for her hand and got frost bite.

Oh, yeah, lost his right arm all the way to the elbow.

Yeah, I sent him a nice get well card.

Come on, she can't be that bad.

You better believe she is.

Uncle Ed.

Yeah.

Sergeant McDonald wants to see you as soon as he can.

- Well... - Uncle Ed?

You see your uncle and I are very old, very close friends.

Careful, Malloy, that could disqualify you.

However not such close friends that I couldn't

double-cross him at a moment's notice.

That's better.

- Would hold those for me? - Yeah.

Uncle Ed is really very nice.

But ever since I moved out and started living with him and Eileen,

I've been on two and a half feet of galvanized chain.

He's just a little overenthusiastic, that's all.

Oh, I don't mind that. I just wish he'd stop cleaning his shotgun.

It scares off the competitors.

I'm not intimidated.

It's funny having an uncle who's only a few years older.

My mother has had kind of a nickname for him.

We call him the Late Baby and does he hate it.

Oh, that's beautiful.

I'll just file that away for use at some appropriate time.

You on a coffee break?

Um, no, I was just talking to Pete.

Well, why don't you get back to work?

I told them you were diligent. That's why

they transfered you over from vacation relief.

See you later, Ed.

Hey, it's nothing personal, Pete.

I just want to see Marilyn, here, make a good impression.

If you really cared about her you'd want the same thing.

See you later, Ed.

Hey, listen, Malloy...

Wait a minute you two. I'm going back to work.

Thank you.

About 5:30?

All right, I'll wait for you here.

Good.

Hey, where you taking her, Malloy?

Where you taking her?

There's a good X-rated film on the Freemont.

Oh, yeah? What's it called?

Comics. Nothing but comics.

I wish there was one straight man in this joint.

There is, Ed. You.

A late baby?

It's kind of an old family joke.

You know, if this thing with Marilyn turns into anything

I think I'm gonna have my hands full with it.

Oh, come on, Pete. You got to be kidding. Uncle Ed?

He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Yeah, it's only because

it's so messy using a shotgun to kill flies.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12, see the woman.

A prowler there now. 209 Bethel Street. Code-2.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Did you report a prowler?

Yes, I've been hiding inside shaking like a leaf.

Are you Mrs. Fowler?

How'd you know that?

- I read it on the mailbox. - Oh.

Well, I saw him at the window.

When he saw me looking, he ran out back.

Now, there's no way out of there except by passing these windows.

Now, I've been watching and he's got to still be back there.

There's no sign of him. It's pretty overgrown out there.

Okay, I want you to go back inside your house and stay there.

Partner and I are gonna try something.

Thank you, officers.

A false alarm, Jim. Let's go.

Right.

Lost, mister?

Put your hands on top of your head.

I'll go get Mrs. Fowler for an ID.

Okay.

Why don't you take her to the Hamburg's. Good food.

Nah, I've been around there too much lately.

It's getting kind of old.

Aren't you the one that said their beef Wellington is worth 10 years in Folsom?

Too many old girlfriends hang out there.

I'll think of something.

I need something more romantic, you know?

Soft lights and soft music.

Ths soft sound of shotgun pellets dropping like gentle rain.

Now, you got it.

That one being held together by bailing wire.

Sounds like bearings.

Maybe he stops it by dragging his feet.

This is one-Adam-12 requesting wants and warrants

on Ida 74251.

One-Adam-12, stand by.

We pulled you over 'cause you ran that stop sign.

Could I see your license, please?

Yeah, well, I'm sure that this can all be explained,

because I generally...

This license is expired, Mr. Archer.

You're not supposed to be driving with it.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you see, I got kinda like this special problem.

Would you step out of the truck, please?

Sure. You see, my problem

is that I'm a flower vendor, see?

And I got this little curbside stand over on the corner of Hoover and Vermont.

And I need the truck to get my flowers over there.

And all my money is tied up in them carnations for the weekend.

So I had to take the truck to get them from the florist over to the stand.

Maybe you can see my problem.

That's not your only problem, Mr. Archer.

You talking about them old traffic tickets?

Yes, sir. You got two warrants on you

for failure to appear in court on those two traffic tickets.

Well, I don't have much of a memory for dates.

- Apparently. - I'm afraid we're gonna have to take you in, sir.

Wait a minute. You guys are putting me out of business.

I got 300 bucks tied up in them flowers.

I go to jail, they'll all die.

Is there someone you could call

that could take the flowers over to your stand

and sell them for you?

Maybe I could call Diane.

Who's Diane?

My fiancée. At least, she was till you guys got in the act.

We were gonna use the money from them flowers to get married on.

Now I'll need to sell them to get bail money.

Yeah, well, Mr. Archer,

could you wait in your truck a minute please?

What do you think?

I don't know. I'm afraid to ask him another question.

The whole thing's starting to sound like a soap opera.

Look, why don't we call this Diane, have her meet us at the vending stand?

She can watch the flowers, we can take Archer in and book him.

Sold.

Looks like a real heavy caper.

What'd he do?

Forgot to pay for a few tickets.

Soon as he's finished unloading the truck,

we're gonna take him down and book him.

Listen, Pete, I talked to Eileen.

And she and I would like to treat you and Marilyn

to a barbeque tonight over at our place.

I figure you two are going out anyway,

so why not chow down at our house?

Well, thanks very much, Ed, but why don't we make it some other time?

I've got other plans.

What other plans?

Oh, nothing special, just plans.

Listen, Malloy.

I don't like being the comic heavy in this thing.

But I'm not about to stand around and watch

a lot of blue Dacron cowboys chasing after my niece.

You want to be the good man of the hour,

why don't you take this guy down and book him for me?

If I have to do it, it's gonna make me late for my date with Marilyn.

That's a tough break.

Hey, I sure appreciate this.

You guys saved me 300 bucks.

And Diane ain't even sore. She's gonna spend the weekend trying to sell them.

I'll be your first customer. Let me have a bunch of the white ones.

Okay. Hey, wait a minute. On the house.

Nothing doing. I want to pay for them.

What do you need them for?

Peace offering.

Pete. I'm sorry.

Do you want to know why I wasn't here?

Uncle Ed told you that I'd stood you up,

so you went home with him.

And it took you until 15 minutes ago

to figure out that he may have been giving it to you

with a little English on it.

He told me that you were irresponsible

and crude and you drink too much.

Come on. I know a great place for dinner.

Oh.

You didn't have to do that.

Yeah. I'm helping a guy I know make bail.

How's Ed this morning?

Oh, well, you've played cards with him.

You know how he is when he's got a good hand

and you back him down with a handful of garbage?

- Yeah. - Well, that's the way Ed is this morning.

How you feeling, Pete?

Oh, pretty good. Little tired.

Hear you got her in kinda late last night.

I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

Well, she told me she had all her homework done.

Ed,

she's 25 years old.

Where'd you go, the Homburg?

Yeah, the Homburg.

Wrong. You were nowhere near the Homburg.

Well, how'd you know that?

I got ways of knowing those things.

Ed, why don't you tell him what you did last night?

He spent last night riding around looking for you.

Ah. You didn't cruise around in your car

trying to find us, did you?

Of course not.

Who told you that?

Pete, he's really worried.

How 'bout me? I feel like Jack the Ripper.

Hey, let's look at this.

This is one-Adam-12. We're in pursuit of a green Corvette.

Southbound on Laurel Canyon from Ventura Boulevard.

License number is King Sam Ocean 909.

Suspect vehicle is wanted for speed only at this time.

All units on all frequencies stand by. One-Adam-12 is in pursuit.

One-Adam-12 is in pursuit of a green Corvette.

Southbound on Laurel Canyon from Ventura Boulevard.

We're no longer in visual contact with suspect vehicle.

One-Adam-12, one-Adam-15 is code 100

at Mulholland and Wrightwood.

One-Adam-11 is code 100 at Laurel and Sycamore.

One-Adam-12. We're no longer in pursuit of suspect vehicle.

Shows code 6 in Laurel Canyon.

All units, one-Adam-12 is no longer in pursuit of the suspect vehicle.

Hey, Reed, can I talk to you a minute?

Ed, look, I'm out of it. Don't start on me.

No, seriously, I just thought maybe Malloy

might have told you what happened last night.

Well, how 'bout it?

What?

Where'd Malloy take Marilyn?

I know where I'd take her if she was with me.

Why don't you butt out?

Know what I usually do?

I borrow a sailboat from a friend of mine

and take it out a half mile off shore.

And I got a little red thermos that I fill up with margaritas.

And I take a little transistor radio

and I just let nature

take its course.

That why you've been married three times?

Oh, you got a big mouth.

I'm impatient, Ed.

My ex-wives say that that doesn't wear well.

Loveable, but impatient.

Take a hike.

I'm talking to Reed.

- Shoo. - How old is that stuff?

Six months, Ed. That's why I'm changing it.

Listen, Reed, you and I, we've had a couple of rough spots

in our relationship.

But I figure you're a big enough guy to let bygones be bygones.

- You know what else I figure? - Hm?

I figure you being a family man,

you got a pretty good understanding of my position in this thing.

See, I'm responsible for her.

It's got to be tough.

Well, you know, a little hand-holding, I don't mind that.

That's natural. But as her uncle, I want to know

where she's going and with who.

Ed, you want some advice from a family man?

Well, sure, pal. Anything.

Look, why don't you lay off?

Come on, you're covering for him.

- What'd he tell you? - Nothing.

Come on. Just tell me. I'll never let on you copped out.

- Nothing. - Hey. I know better.

- Nothing. - Let me put it to you another way.

Sit down here, will you?

You know, this thing with Wells,

it used to be funny, but it's beginning to slop over, Pete.

Tell me about it.

You got anything going with Marilyn tonight?

She was booked.

But I gotta hand it to Wells, he's making her look a lot less desirable.

I got an extra ticket to the fights. You want to go?

Yeah, great.

1981 Tacoma. Isn't that on our vacation checklist?

Yeah. That gardener's supposed to be there

between 1 and 3:30 on Thursdays.

He's a day early.

Hi.

Hi. Just getting a little watering done.

Don't want the trees to die.

Nice set of tools.

Yeah, well, it's like they say.

You can always tell a workman by his tools.

Yeah, well, in your case I'd say that's especially true.

What do you mean?

I mean they haven't even been used.

Just what kind of work you doing?

Turn around, put your hands on top of your head.

Check for his partner.

All right, freeze, mister.

Come on, turn around, put your hands on top of your head.

Well, you got me all wrong, officer.

I live here. I was just packing for a vacation.

You wear these often?

What happened to Ted? He was supposed to honk the horn.

He's out hanging around by the truck.

Turn around, put your hands behind your back.

Just take it easy. Don't try to get up.

I had an accident.

I went off the road back there.

Took me all morning to climb up here.

And then nobody would stop.

They just went past.

No one would help me.

I could've died out here.

I'll call you an ambulance. What kind of a car were you driving?

Green Corvette. You can see it down there.

We found our deuce. The 'Vette's off the road down there.

One-Adam-12 requesting a unit for transportation and an ambulance

to Laurel Canyon Boulevard, one mile north of Morse Drive.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Okay, Mr. Archer, your bail's been paid.

Oh, thank you very much. I really appreciate...

Hey, Reed, I want to talk to you. I just want to say thanks again.

Sales must have been pretty good.

Yeah. Me and Diane are off to Vegas to get married.

- Leaving tonight. - Well, congratulations.

Look, I hope you're not gonna try to take that truck all the way to Vegas.

Oh, no, we're using Diane's car.

But don't you worry. She's driving.

Okay.

Boy. I don't know what it is you guys have,

but you better keep it quiet.

The captain's gonna put you in community relations.

Mac, it's all in knowing how to arrest him and have him still like you.

We call it technique.

Pete, the fight starts in an hour.

Yeah, I'm just about finished. I'll meet you in the locker room.

All right.

What time you planning on having her in tonight?

Now, no arguments, Malloy.

I want you to have her in the house by 1:00.

Ed, I'm afraid...

- I'm not fooling around. - Will you shut up

and let me say something?

I don't have a date with Marilyn tonight.

I'm going to the fights with Reed. And I promised Jean

I'd have him home by 12:00.

So see, wherever I can, I try to be cooperative.

Well, she said she was going out tonight.

If not you, who?

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, you gotta be kidding.

Hey, Boyd, come here. Boyd!

I want to talk to you. Come here.

Come here. Hey, I want to talk to you.

Over here. Hold it.

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA