Original subtitles

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12.

A 211 in progress.

One-Adam-12, handle, code 3.

♪♪

What's with you?

They call them hot pants.

Do you have any other

startling pieces of information for me?

As a matter of fact, I do.

Underneath that shiny badge beats the heart

of a perfectly normal dirty old man.

Thanks, partner.

He's back.

I knew it was too good to last.

Well, there goes my appetite.

Malloy, Reed.

How's the world been treating you boys?

You got yourselves a new car, huh?

Yeah.

Mind if I sit down?

We're just about through, Mr. Thornton.

Well, that's okay. Just wanted to say hello.

Haven't seen you around for a while.

Thought you might have found a new hobby.

Not a chance.

Once a buff, always a buff.

- Right, Malloy? - Kind of looks that way.

The way these girls dress,

don't know what the country's coming to.

I just got back from Miami.

The annual Police Procedure Seminar.

Too bad you boys couldn't have been there.

I picked up some interesting stuff.

Ever seen anything like these before?

Thumb cuffs. Great for undercover work.

Flat as a comb. No bulge at all.

You really enjoy your toys, don't you, Mr. Thornton?

Toys? These cuffs are the real things, Reed.

Yeah, I know. So is the police monitor

and the radio phone in your car.

- And the spotlight. - What's he getting at?

Oh, what my partner's trying to tell you

is no matter how many gadgets you pick up,

you're still not a policeman.

You're liable to get yourself into trouble someday.

We wouldn't want to see that happen.

I had the impression

citizen involvement was a department policy, Malloy.

Involvement, yes. Playing policeman, no.

We don't need vigilantes.

And I don't like your attitude.

Without citizens like me,

your job would be a lot tougher

than it is, remember that.

Time to roll, partner.

Pretty rough on him.

Think any of it penetrated?

Never has before.

Kind of hard to figure a man like Thornton.

Retired, plenty of money.

You'd think he'd have something better to do

than to roll around chasing police calls.

Yeah.

I had a buff over in 77th Division

a few years back.

Jumped a 211 call in progress one night.

Got there before the black and white.

He wound up with a bullet in his stomach.

Kill him?

No. But it sure cured him.

I hope Thornton wises up

before he runs into some hard nose with a gun.

It's a tough way to learn.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

see the security officer. A 484 report.

Summer's Department Store.

12106 Valley Mall.

1-Adam-12, Roger.

Dave Walbrook, store security.

I'm Officer Malloy. This is Officer Reed.

She the suspect?

The victim.

Miss Carson is one of our clerks.

This will all probably be a waste of time,

but we'd better go through the motions

for the insurance company, right?

What happened, Mr. Walbrook?

A palm switch at the jewelry counter.

Thief got away with a $1,500 engagement ring.

Isn't she a little young

to be working the jewelry counter?

I didn't know anything about it

until it was too late.

The regular girl is out sick.

The floor manager pulled Jenny

from the cosmetics department

to fill in for the jewelry clerk

until he took his lunch break.

He spotted the switched ring when he got back.

But it's not a total loss.

He left this in place of the real one...

Worth a buck and a half anyway.

Why don't you see what you can get out of her?

Could you give me a description

of the person you think

might have switched the rings, Miss Carson?

There's only one person I showed that tray to.

It had to be her.

Do you remember what she looked like

or what she was wearing?

Uh, she was tall,

uh, had on a white coat

with, uh, with brown stripes,

and kind of nice-looking, I think.

How old do you think she was?

Middle-aged, I guess.

At least 35.

Uh, kind of tall, I think.

What about her hair?

Uh, was it short, long?

What color?

Uh, sort of reddish, um, not very long.

Is there anything else you remember about her?

Anything at all?

Uh, just her gloves.

She put them on the counter next to the tray.

I remember thinking it was kind of funny...

You know, brown suede gloves in this kind of weather.

Okay.

Okay. Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

There's not much to go on.

Uh, can I leave now, Mr. Walbrook?

Thank you, Jenny.

Jenny, tell your floor manager I want to see him.

Yes, sir.

Well, that about wraps it up

as far as you fellas are concerned.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got some serious chewing out to do.

We'll turn this over to bunco.

They'll be in touch with you.

Would you please sign this, sir?

Just for the record, partner,

I don't want to hear any more cracks about dirty old men.

I saw the smirk you laid on that Carson girl.

Your generation gap's showing, Pete.

What you saw was purely communication.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, citizen holding a 502.

209 Beffle Street.

1-Adam-12, Roger.

Three guesses.

They're all the same... Thornton.

I timed you, Malloy.

Two minutes and 20 seconds from the time you got the call.

What held you up?

Where's the 502 you're supposed to be holding?

Front seat of his car, passed out.

90-35, 90-35, Ambuline sick.

- 149... - You mind?

He went through a half dozen stop signs, doing at least 50.

I was right on his tail, leaning on my horn.

He's hit this, all right.

What's the matter, Malloy? You look disappointed.

Not at all. When it comes to drunk drivers,

we appreciate all the help we can get.

That's more like it.

I'll have to have your address

and phone number, Mr. Thornton.

What for?

We'll need you to testify in court.

Oh, come on, Malloy.

I wouldn't mind if it were something important,

- but this... - Without your testimony,

all we can get him for is plain drunk.

You know that. A small fine,

and he'll be right back behind the wheel of his car.

Is that what you want?

Okay. 9977 Beachwood Drive.

347-1347's the phone.

Sometimes I think you people go out of your way

to make life difficult.

We appreciate your help, Mr. Thornton.

You're sure there isn't anything else I can do for you.

No, sir.

See you in court.

Yeah.

Come on. Better give me a hand with Sleeping Beauty.

Well, he's gone through three pair of shoes

in six months.

I told him when I was a kid,

a pair of shoes better last me a year,

one way or another.

Shall we spread the good word?

Yeah. As good a time as any.

Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

Hey, if it's another collection, Malloy,

why don't you just forget about it?

Nothing that painless, Mac.

We thought you'd all like to know

our favorite buff is back with us... Jennings Thornton.

Oh, boy.

You got any more good news?

Sorry. That's the quota for today.

Funny how Thornton spends all his time trying to be with cops

and he doesn't have a friend on the force.

It's not funny when you read his history.

You know what I mean, Pete. He's a weirdo.

Right.

I just wonder what makes him tick.

Why don't you ask Brinkman?

Why?

About three years ago,

Thornton was rousting a drunk.

He cuffed him around some, put the guy in the hospital.

Brinkman rolled in a few minutes later

in an owl car.

When the sergeant arrived,

Thornton swore out a complaint against Brinkman,

saying he beat up the guy.

Pulled him in front of a review board,

the whole works.

What about the drunk?

He was so boozed up, he didn't know who hit him.

It was Thornton, though. It's his style.

He knew he'd get tagged for it,

so he hung it on Brinkman.

If the review board hadn't believed Brinkman,

he'd have been sent down for it.

Nice guy.

He'd do the same thing to you or me.

He doesn't like cops.

He just likes running around town

with a strong arm, rousting people.

All units in the vicinity

and One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

a 211 in progress.

14101 Delby at the market.

One-Adam-12, handle Phelps Street.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

13800.

Coming up.

That's our boy.

Freeze! You're under arrest!

Go ahead and shoot, cop.

This is your last warning. One more step, and we fire.

Hands above your head now!

He armed!

Get some help down here!

Give it up, Mister! You haven't got a chance!

Not this time, cop.

I'm holding court right here in the street.

All I want to do is take some of you crumbs with me.

Whoever he is, he's a hard case.

He can't take that many units

without some kind of a flak vest.

Thornton! Get back!

- Thornton! - Jim, get down!

It's all over, Mister. Just lay back.

You called it. Flak vest.

Don't bother to thank me, Malloy.

Just a citizen doing his duty.

A citizen doing his duty is one thing,

but you're thrill-happy, Thornton.

You just about got my partner killed

with that last little stunt.

Now I'm warning you.

From now on, stay away from us.

Two stripes and a star

might make you almost a sergeant, Malloy,

but it doesn't give you the right to insult me.

Why don't you shove off?

Three-time loser on parole.

What do you think he'll get, Pete?

The fourth time down, the habitual... life.

Guys like that scare me.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12.

See the manager. A business dispute.

Fairfax and Vine, the parking lot.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

Glad you guys got here.

I'm Joe Rawls, the day man.

What's the trouble, Mr. Rawls?

It's that dame back there.

I got her blocked in so she can't get out.

How come?

Well, she scraped the car next to her.

I heard it, so I went back to see.

She claims she didn't do it.

How'd you know?

Intuition.

Oh. Well, that's what you say.

Anyway, I ask her for her license,

and she said she ain't got it with her.

She gave me the name

of some cockamamie insurance company

I never heard of.

When I said I was going to call the cops,

she offered me 20 bucks to forget the whole thing.

You wait here, Mr. Rawls. We'll talk to her.

Afternoon. I understand you have a problem.

It's really nothing, Officer.

You... You'd hardly notice it

if you weren't really looking for it.

I told the attendant I'd pay for any damage.

I don't know why he had to bother.

It's no bother. It's what we're paid for.

If you're going to ask me for my license,

I haven't got it with me.

But I'm sure he told you that already.

- Pete. - Excuse me.

Come here and take a look at this.

In the back seat of the car,

there's a white coat with stripes

and a brown pair of gloves.

I wonder if she went jewelry shopping

at Summer's Department Store today.

Run her plate. I'll see what I can find out at this end.

I'm going to have to make out a TA report, ma'am.

Save the explanations. Just write it up.

- What's your name, please? - Jean Tomlin.

- Middle name or initial? - Edna.

Address?

1141 Warwick, Encino.

Look, would it be asking too much

for you to hurry it up? I'm late for an appointment.

I'm just about finished.

I'm thrilled.

This is your car, Miss Tomlin?

I already told you it was.

The things in the back seat, the coat and the gloves.

Are they yours, too?

I'm not answering any more questions.

Just give me the ticket. Let me get out of here.

DMV says the car is registered

to Jessica Caldwell at a Burbank address.

Still say it's yours?

So I use a professional name. Is that a crime?

Well, what is your profession, Miss?

What kind of a crack is that?

You better pull in your horns, buster.

I don't take that kind of crack

from any badge-heavy clown.

You're under arrest, lady.

You've got to be kidding. For what?

Suspicion of grand theft.

You have the right to remain silent.

If you give up the right to remain silent...

I don't give up anything, Junior,

but you will when my lawyer gets through with you.

Ho-ho, my lawyer's going to love this.

That car is mine, and I can prove it.

Who said anything about your car?

Get in.

We've got problems.

Seems Miss Carson can't give us a positive I.D.

on the Caldwell woman.

I'm sorry. I'm not trying

to cause you officers any trouble.

You gave us a description, Miss Carson.

We've been through that, Jim.

See, Miss Carson's extremely nearsighted,

and without her glasses,

anything more than a few feet away appears blurred.

She wasn't wearing her glasses at the store.

I knew it was going to be one of those days.

You asked me if I was positive, Sergeant.

Well, I think it was her. I'm almost sure it was.

Almost isn't good enough, Miss Carson.

I said I'm sorry. What more can I do?

Look, uh, Officer Malloy didn't mean that as a criticism.

It's just that when identifying a suspect,

we have to be very sure.

I understand. I...

I wish I could swear it was her,

- but I can't. - I understand.

Thanks very much for coming down, though.

What now?

Well, R and I turned up

an old traffic warrant on Miss Caldwell.

If she's got any record, it's not local.

We'll take her down to the jail.

We'll search her there.

If the ring's not on her,

I'm afraid she gets off.

She's a professional, Mac.

Everything about her spells it out.

The phony name, no I.D. on her person,

using words like badge-heavy.

I've seen a hundred like her.

I agree.

But it's not evidence, Pete.

If we don't find that ring, she walks.

It's almost time to hit the station.

- Dorothy Parker. - Huh?

Dorothy Parker. That's who came up with that saying.

What saying?

Men don't make passes at girls that wear glasses.

- Meaning the Carson girl. - On the nose, Watson.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

citizen holding car strippers.

The service alley

behind the 9700 block, Woodman.

Code 2.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

You don't suppose...

Couldn't be. Fate isn't that cruel.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

1L20 will meet you at the location of your call.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

I wonder what that's all about.

We'll know soon enough.

We think we've been busy.

I've done your job for you, Malloy.

All you got to do is transport and book them.

You put the cuffs on them?

You don't see anybody else around here, do you?

I don't take chances with punks like that.

The key, Thornton.

This better be good, Thornton,

or else you bought yourself a lot of trouble.

All I make are class A busts.

Wait here.

What's it all about, fellas?

I, uh, sold my mag wheels to Jimmy here,

and we were switching them

when the other officer drove up.

We were trying to explain it to him,

but he just kept calling us young punks

and waving that gun around.

Check them out.

One of you fellas got a receipt for the wheels?

You really have a gun, Thornton?

Come on, Malloy, they're punks.

I had to show them I meant business.

So do I. Turn around and put your hands behind your head.

Come on.

What's going on?

Hey. You mean that guy ain't fuzz?

Just relax, fellas, and stay here.

How do you like that? He's a phony.

The kids are clean.

They even have the original receipt for the wheels.

Look, Malloy, we can work this out.

You're under arrest, Thornton,

for carrying a concealed weapon

and possible ADW.

The DA and the boys will decide on that.

Turn around and put your hands behind your back.

You got to be kidding.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Watch your head.

Our buff had one gadget too many.

We had some good luck on that jewelry case.

They found the ring. It was on her.

Thanks, Mac. This isn't such a bad day after all.

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA