Original subtitles

Monday

can Tuesday

break my

heart I don't care if Monday's Black

Tuesday Wednesday heart attack th

Christmas good morning

Casper Christmas what are you doing here

taking a

shower want to join

me I know you've been saving yourself

for that one special person

Casper I'm here to tell

you your way to over

Casper mom Casper honey you almost Rin

there sweetie almost

bumpkins I've made you your favorite

dresses in the whole wide world banana

Walnut

pancakes okay

Mom well hurry up H you don't want your

cigs getting cold oh what was that I

can't hear you love I I said I'm

Casper are you all

right

Casper

Casper

Casper Casper

is time for wake up you be for school

late where's Mom it's gone to meeting

she leaves breakfast for you

waiting gracias Manuela okay mi

Welcome To Paradise

what

lunch on meet me at the office at 1

sharp love Mom P.S here's some gas money

have nice day in your

cpet okay so I'm nicknamed after a

cartoon the Friendly Ghost at least it

beats my real name which is too

phenomenally lame to even

mention my mom bought me this car for my

16th birthday thinking I actually wanted

one I just like the commercials on TV

miles oh the ghosted

what where you been Aaron at 8:30 in the

morning are you wearing perfume can we

St pajam juice no time

choke I had that dream again Christmas

in the shower what do you think it

means I think it means you need to lose

your virginity

bad take it from someone who's been

there

I mean once you park your pink Pontiac

all your lame anks and junk is just gone

like your whole life changes but I don't

want anyone but

christas I mean she's the Center of My

Universe man I live I breathe I exist

for her and her

alone dude you only went out with the

girl two times

hey

r e what's with um guess not Christmas

still ding ding ding ding ding see she

dumpstered you like 3 weeks ago she

didn't dump me okay she said we both

need more

space can we stop for jamaa

juice I know my school could not be

Lamer open wide is one of those hippie

alternative joints for overprivileged

rich kids whose parents are afraid of

gangs cracks census massacres I.E the

real world so we're still on for the

teen trip to W world tomorrow right you

flake you died think you got mine what'

you get mango or go girl why

L they clear path

twer why don't you dols go back to

blowing each other in the locker room

why didn't you remove your skanky lesbo

ass for my sight you J us you being sted

pick on some Godzilla your own SI will

you

flash what' you say rim

job I said what' you say rim job leave

him alone

Flash oh hey babe you know these random

displays of hyper masculinity are the

biggest turnoff

sorry you'll have to excuse him it's a

hormonal thing it's okay hey uh you guys

want to

hey Canim we I'm not to apologize for

acting like a total

cromag

sorry now can we that's the best you can

must see you

now what was that about dude she wants

you good morning you boy are getting

finally see

them so school sucks as usual

what soul highlight of the

morning the zombie caught on

fire major drag of the day driving to

90212 for lunch with

Mom Nicole van dyk's office this is

Bruce hello Andrew from business Affairs

Nicole is still on Safari in Kenya but I

will definitely have her call as soon as

she get

one the

one no I can't set it up I'll tell you

why because it's crap

Casper honey I'm on

overseas that's a signal to wait in the

conference room look it'll be just 1

minute can can I get you something to

drink we've got juices we've got sodas

what what do you

want Casper it'll be just one more

minute can I get you another Coke no

thanks God honey I am so sorry we don't

even have time now to go out to lunch so

I just had Ro get us some tie delivered

hope that's all right so has my main man

today you look a little peon hey got to

see my

herbologist now what is it Bruce I'm

trying to have a little quality time

with my son here can now PL returning

tell those mother hump and sons of

[ __ ] to grab the contract so far up

they recommending a proctologist to read

the fine CR and yes that's what I want

you to tell them forba them thank

you so has school uh you know whatever

that's nice where's the Goddamn fog

we're starving to death in here they

said just 15 more minutes well call them

back tell them to hurry

pleas

sweetie are you sure you're all right

mhm how are things going with that

pretty little girlfriend of yours I

don't have a girlfriend mom

oh why not I mean you do like girls

don't you not that I wouldn't love and

accept you regardless of

course just in

case so how's the screenplay

coming speaking of screenplays the whole

afternoon at openwide is devoted to film

classes you name it film Theory

screenwriting nonlinear editing ever

since the screen thing happened Studio

alerts are always around our brains

screenwriting is taught by this Calvin

Klein underwear model Jared who's

despised by every guy in the school the

hetero ones at least I mean how are we

supposed to compete the guy rides a

motorcycle never gets zit and most

importantly doesn't live with his

parents I find it hard to hate him

though since he wants to option my

semi-autobiographical script in progress

teen Oblivion though of course mom has a

first look she saids she can set it up

for DreamWorks no brainer

congratulations students on another week

of Great accomplishments we'll see you

Monday for more fun and

learning

garino how's our script doing uh good

excellent I can't wait to read

it

soon awesome dude you have an amazing

weekend you

too there's something so not right about

that guy what he's a fraking weirdo

that's what you're just pissed cuz he's

not so into your Dyke Coming of Age

story well who needs him Christine

vashon's already offered me a three

picture

Shark what's up what's that smell D I'm

heading into centry City getting the

tattoo lasered off yeah you want to come

in can't we're working tonight well say

sayara sayara you got to get M remove

too yeah luckily I never fell for that

fat you still have a hole in your ear

from when it was pierced yeah

little upop y oh come on please please

don't touch

you know what take all this

crap don't just stand there loaf go get

her

okay hey Christmas hi what's going on

not much

just deep six

flash yeah it sucks

whatever

next so did you hear about the party

tonight in zuma yeah brother just

spinning have to have to close tonight

you know but but I was I was thinking

about you know swinging by like around

11 or so oh perfect that's what you say

too

um here's

directions cool yeah I I better head I'm

going to be late for my Young Achievers

couns meeting so

um I'll see you tonight

okay score I don't believe

it God does exist

we're out of here hey is Dex Chester's

not working T that is he he's at the

Proctologist getting the stick removed

from his ass Hallelujah do you guys hear

about that party in zuma tonight of

course Chemical Brothers supposed to DJ

every party is always all The Chemical

Brothers get a DJ and it's always Jason

Bentley or somebody equally

local always I take it you're not going

then are you get it wouldn't miss iter

bye which one's Dez and which one's Dex

again it

matters okay so I'll be home kind of

late like 2:30 or 3: that's okay sweetie

I got to date anyway tonight but you

know if you're going to be any later

than that please call me okay I will you

know I worry I will Mom okay I love you

my pumpin get away from me I love you my

pumpkin I really do all right

this is perfect will you get away from

me I'm done go

go uh

slug can

you how much longer to

closing 33 minutes

no let's see

it oh did it hurt like Mama that's worth

it to be decal free no kidding tattoos

are so over so you riding with us to

Zuma tonight

possibly looks like you got a customer

it's your

turn uh welcome to noise may I help you

yeah do you guys have that new Sugar Ray

CD yeah it's in uh rock pop under

so the party I don't know I might be

uh busy no way who's the Unlucky girl

this girl isn't it or uh blow my horn

slug

Meister looks like your friend's

back no is this one that has that song I

just want to

fly put your arm around me baby put your

arms around me

baby uh that's on their uh their last

album

Flor in rock pop under

us

so uh miles of the Mystery Date you're

just jealous cuz you haven't had a date

yet this Century that's cuz I'm choosy I

don't do ugly you don't date your own

kind hey dayon

maybe it's ugly date

Colin later ters give our regards to

ugly date see

you will this be all for tonight uh

yeah she that's uh

1747 okay

hello can you give us any better

description than that he look like a

[ __ ] you know I mean little guy he was

um

short look for a dwarf packing a 45

Magnum I mean how many can there be in

one

city so of course the one night I so

need to get off work on time we get

interrogated by the Gestapo meanwhile

all I can think of is Christmas waiting

for

me I'm afraid you're going to have to

come down to the station and file a

report we're not that late Christmas has

been there for nearly 2 hours by herself

so Christmas

oh well can't this jobi go any

faster you got smt you know I'm as

breath

sensitive oh don't know D do I look okay

Bing

DJs here we

go we

oh zombie sorry man I didn't see that

you okay sorry about

that made it finally dude you would not

believe what happened to us today all

right this [ __ ] walks in right awesome

bro hey have you guys

met [ __ ] cat

yeah hey hi yo what time is it it's

uh

unbelievable oops it it's me sorry oh my

god did I get any on you no I'm

just I'm I'm sorry I should have been

watching where I was going no I'm just

CL

see anyway yeah name is I'm

magenta

really yeah

cool well Sluggo has anyone ever told

you that you're

beautiful

um no I need another

drink want to venture with me to the

bar sure

here we

go hey Casper

um Casper this is blue

blue

Casper how's it

going did you just get here mhm killer

party

huh I mean The Chemical Brothers

wow can we talk a

minute um sure

is is it okay if

we no

problem I'll be right

back

M what are you

doing what are you doing you know what I

mean

okay Casper I why are you cheating on me

with that incredibly lame excuse of

opposer wannabe I am not cheating on you

Casper what are you talking about I'm

talking about you inviting me here

flirting with me leading me on leading

you on cuer I can't help it if you have

a hyperactive imagination so you're

telling me I'm imagining all this you

have no feelings for me at

all of course I have feelings for you

Casper we're friends

well that's

it we're friends that's all you feel for

me

yes you're a liar

okay guess don't touch

me I never want to see you again

out hey I'm going to go what I'm

going why what happened nothing I

just I just I'm going to go okay look

you stay if you

want I'll tell you later

okay is he always like that like what

very very tense

miles tell me something

good Hy call me the second you get this

okay man I really need

to I do not believe this

you have to go past is going to

be just one more

just one

more good night

sexy good night

w

hey Sluggo are you

there if you're screening pick up the

phone please please pick up the phone I

I really need to talk to you

well you can't call me back cuz my

stupid cell's dead

but all right I guess I I'll just keep

trying it

back

yeah that's pretty clever don't you boy

flying on your motorcycle watching

ground the

you kill

yourself kill yourself to never ever

stop you broke another mirror you're

turning into something new

enough don't leave

me don't leave me

try don't leave

me don't leave me

so you're going to go shower change and

meet you in the openway parking lot

in an hour and a

half

cool okay I really got to go now I'll

never make it to that world right

bye see you

want to go get

pancakes I don't want to say I told you

so but Christmas is an indisputable

[ __ ] now magenta on the other hand

first St what the f kind of name is

magenta everyone in her family's named

after a

color where's she from Hermosa she's a

junior at Ocean View Sagittarius just

like

me plus she's the sexiest

kisser second base thank you and she's a

witch

cool I

know so what does you want to tell me

about some weirdness with your mom or

something

Henry what time is it trip us leaves in

20 minutes waitress check please I

promis mageni meet her in the parking

lot chill pill I've had eight cups of

coffee and three notos

waitress

girl and settle down look I know you're

really excited

right okay as your official faculty

chaperon I'm in charge of checking you

out

checking you in I mean you can check me

out anytime

son all right all right okay he hey

chill

pill okay now if we can just get a

single fire line happening right

here so um kids the sooner we get a

single F line going the sooner we'll be

on our way

I told you these things never leave on

time see magent

anywhere look I'm not so sure I want to

go what you can't flake now just you're

going to be all with

ment we've been looking forward to this

trip for

weeks you're going

period okay I got to PE first though fre

oh hey see I've been trying to call you

all night man keep getting the

subscribers out of service area please

try back

later battery

dead I know not really

huh you want to see the inside of our

thighs

you are you

doing Casper what the hell's wrong with

you man d m last night iide my house

I'm sorry man I don't know what to

say I love her

I love

her get out of

here you do not even exist anymore

man miles

what's wrong with

him e is that what's his

name he's so

1997 I know she knows the way she was

here last year for district soccer

finals

all right everybody listen

up now I know this is totally bogus

bogus I'm required by law to read these

team trip rules and

regulations hey come on hey number one

quiet number one absolutely no drugs or

alcohol

loud on the bus or on the premises of

wild world at any time hey yeah all

right number two no disorderly conduct

or foul language what about

sex about

it we got to get through these okay we

got to get through these now if you get

lost go immediately to a wow World

courtesy station where they will contact

me via this trusty

C all right now okay it's 700 p.m.

report the main entrance where I will be

meeting

you if you late I repeat if you late you

will be left

behind okay you got that

finally All Aboard for

what we're ready to

go what time is it

something wrong no kidding genius the

bus won't

start okay people we going to be having

a little technical difficulty here so uh

come on

excuse me I'm on the list star

magenta okay but uh we're having a bit

of trouble with the bus so you it don't

start

now oh I'm so sorry I fell asleep it's

okay you're here now that's all that

matters you know my friend Casper oh

yeah hey you know I thought I wasn't

going to make it so I uh had to what no

way

hey butt

brain it's my stupid brother blue

how much longer

you ever feel like there's this great

big conspiracy going

on like life's not just unfair but

unnecessarily relentlessly

cruel like if the world ended right this

second that might not be such a bad

thingone

the GU the guy

are you okay

down

sexy calm down everyone calm down

everybody okay return to your seat

next up on this is how the world ends

help

me get off me

Genta is starting to freak me out a

little like she's into some really dark

stuff excuse me um sorry for bothering

you but have you ever done any modeling

um yeah you'll have to talk to my

booking agent about that not

you yeah

so you got to talk to your mom about it

give her a chance at

least mom

of control