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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,719 I have something to say. 2 00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:10,800 - If it's about the lavatory seat... - No, it's not. It's very much not. 3 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,599 - Sven has proposed. - Say no. 4 00:00:14,679 --> 00:00:15,720 And I have said yes. 5 00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:22,280 I adored your father, but I haven't had a gentleman in my life for eight years. 6 00:00:22,359 --> 00:00:26,920 And Sven is resourceful and he's handsome and I love him. 7 00:00:27,399 --> 00:00:29,960 - This is so exciting. - Thank you, darling. 8 00:00:30,039 --> 00:00:32,679 - Morning, everyone. - Morning, Nancy. 9 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,759 - Missed you. - Missed you, too. 10 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:38,880 Anyway, can we talk about me 11 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,039 because I have just told you I'm getting married. 12 00:00:41,119 --> 00:00:42,759 We will need to interview him. 13 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,640 Who is getting married, you or me ? 14 00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:49,159 I'm sure you'll want to run your eyes over our potential spouses. 15 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,719 Fine. 16 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:39,200 THE DURRELLS Episode 6 17 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,640 Why you have them, all of these animals ? 18 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,400 - The same reason you have a family. - My mother make me. 19 00:01:54,799 --> 00:01:57,439 Well, normally, it's to enjoy their company. 20 00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,680 But you're right, Lugaretzia, 21 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,840 I should invite people to come and enjoy them, too. 22 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,239 I might need some more. 23 00:02:11,439 --> 00:02:13,120 Work is so boring. 24 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:16,039 I'm stuck indoors, and she's drawn the shutters now. 25 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,199 It's like I'm working down a mine. 26 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,800 A mine filled with Louis Quinze furniture. 27 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,120 If she didn't have this annoying depression thing, 28 00:02:23,199 --> 00:02:26,960 we'd go travelling and shopping, and I'd chat to Angel. 29 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,080 Can't Dr. Petridis help ? 30 00:02:29,159 --> 00:02:30,520 Oh, I'll get through it. 31 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,520 No, help the Countess ? 32 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,159 No. She blames it on the shock of her husband dying. 33 00:02:36,879 --> 00:02:38,840 Her world's been smaller ever since. 34 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,360 At this rate, she'll end up in a wardrobe. 35 00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:43,840 Money can't buy you happiness, can it ? 36 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,800 But it can buy you some lovely haute couture to be unhappy in. 37 00:02:46,879 --> 00:02:51,199 It's just as well, we don't have any money, really, and neither does Sven. 38 00:02:51,879 --> 00:02:54,000 Are you still wanting to get married ? 39 00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:55,599 Since this morning ? 40 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,000 Yes, I think so. 41 00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:00,680 Well, we'll see. 42 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,800 We'd like your answers down on paper, please. 43 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,319 Sorry, my lawyers advised me not to put anything in writing. 44 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,280 Can I just say, I don't care who my mother marries, I'm enjoying this. 45 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,000 Come on, why do you want to marry Mrs. Durrell ? 46 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,039 - Because I love her. - That's easy to say. 47 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,000 - Yes, it is. - Damn, he's good. 48 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,800 Money isn't everything, of course, but is it true you don't have any ? 49 00:03:29,159 --> 00:03:32,360 I have some land, I am rich in strength and in spirit. 50 00:03:33,879 --> 00:03:36,159 - May I have one of your goats ? - No. 51 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,080 Voltaire said that God created sex and priests created marriage. 52 00:03:40,159 --> 00:03:41,919 - Thoughts ? - None. 53 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,879 I come home late with a handsome boy, 54 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,159 wanting to get to know each other better. 55 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,280 Much better. What do you do ? 56 00:03:49,759 --> 00:03:50,960 I'll have to hurry you. 57 00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:52,919 I ask your mother. 58 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,759 Hello, Sven. So you're getting the full Durrells assault ? 59 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,319 Yes. 60 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,879 Would you leave, please ? You're not one of us. 61 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,199 Are you thinking of having children with our mother ? 62 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,080 Because that would be a bad idea. 63 00:04:05,159 --> 00:04:07,199 I think the joke is over now, don't you ? 64 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,680 - May I borrow a goat ? - I will discuss it with them. 65 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,240 Thank you. 66 00:04:14,199 --> 00:04:16,120 I feel like an intruder in this house. 67 00:04:16,199 --> 00:04:19,800 - Why ? - Your family are fine individually. 68 00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:21,160 Well, not really. 69 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,000 But together, it's like living with bees, 70 00:04:24,439 --> 00:04:28,079 buzzing in my face, little stings the whole time. 71 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,639 And it's really crowded. 72 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,879 Just do what I do, shout at them. 73 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:35,879 - I can't, they're not my family. - You really can. 74 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,279 We'll do it together. 75 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,600 Let's find a place of our own. 76 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:45,959 We're 22, Larry. 77 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,720 Of course. 78 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,240 Sure. I'd love that. 79 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,560 You're worried about what your mother will say, aren't you ? 80 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:00,399 Yes, I am. 81 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,759 - Where are the other two judges ? - Larry and Nancy are canoodling. 82 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,920 And Gerry's opening the Durrell Zoo. 83 00:05:08,399 --> 00:05:10,399 So, may I marry Sven ? 84 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,800 Well, we like him. 85 00:05:13,399 --> 00:05:14,680 He's lovely, isn't he ? 86 00:05:14,759 --> 00:05:17,920 Well, we're worried he's a bit too young and handsome. 87 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,079 - Are we ? - Are we ? 88 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,439 Look, if you marry an old chap 89 00:05:23,519 --> 00:05:26,120 and it goes wrong, he won't be alive that long. 90 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,120 Do bear that in mind. 91 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:30,800 ZOO 92 00:05:30,879 --> 00:05:32,639 You don't have to do this, Mrs. Durrells. 93 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,639 I know. 94 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,560 Tell him your mind was disturbed when you said yes. 95 00:05:36,639 --> 00:05:38,959 - What have you got against Sven ? - Nothing. 96 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,800 Except he's not Greek and he's not British. 97 00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:43,759 Well, a lot of people aren't, Spiros. 98 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:47,120 If you must marry again, have my friend Labros. 99 00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:49,000 You will never run out of bread. 100 00:05:49,639 --> 00:05:51,800 - Is he a baker ? - No, he just likes bread. 101 00:05:51,879 --> 00:05:52,879 Shall we go ? 102 00:05:56,759 --> 00:05:58,639 - Where are we going ? - Sven's house. 103 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,120 No ! 104 00:06:03,879 --> 00:06:07,319 - Well done for passing your audition. - They are good company. 105 00:06:08,079 --> 00:06:11,839 I'm lending Gerry a goat and I am working on Leslie. 106 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,040 So, when do you want to get married ? 107 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,240 There's no rush. 108 00:06:21,959 --> 00:06:23,120 Let's do it soon. 109 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,920 What do you mean by soon ? 110 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,560 A week, two. 111 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,160 Well... shouldn't we get to know each other better first ? 112 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,759 No. It's romantic, fun. 113 00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:41,519 You're revealing hidden shallows, Sven. 114 00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:43,120 I like it. 115 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,839 Also, I don't believe in... 116 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,399 ...you know, before marriage. 117 00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:54,519 Oh. Well, we'd better get married quickly, then. 118 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,839 I've been living for my family for so long. 119 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,639 It's time I started living for myself. 120 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,279 And for you. 121 00:07:12,879 --> 00:07:16,839 So, in two weeks... a wedding. 122 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,560 I do hope Alecko isn't grumpy. 123 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,680 Yes, we must discourage touching the exhibits. 124 00:07:32,759 --> 00:07:36,120 In Athens Zoo, I saw a tapir bite off a visitor's finger. 125 00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:39,399 - How horrible. - And wasteful, as they are herbivores. 126 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,079 Margo, are you discovering an interest in the animal kingdom ? 127 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:49,920 No. Theo, you know everything, why won't my Countess leave her villa ? 128 00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:55,639 This is, of course, agoraphobia, from the Greek agorafovia, hooray ! 129 00:07:57,319 --> 00:07:58,680 Fear of the marketplaces. 130 00:07:59,319 --> 00:08:02,240 That's so odd. I love shopping. 131 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,040 The fear is of the open space, rather than the market. 132 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,519 Oh. So how can I cure her ? 133 00:08:09,079 --> 00:08:11,199 It can stem from feeling out of control, 134 00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:13,600 so reassurance and relaxation may help. 135 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,000 Good. Thank you. 136 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,680 - But the brain is a complex organ... - She's gone. 137 00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:22,199 I don't think Durrell brains are that complex. 138 00:08:27,519 --> 00:08:30,959 Sven and I have decided to get married in two weeks. 139 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,120 Why ? Are you pregnant ? 140 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,639 No ! 141 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,240 We just want to do it soon because, well, it's romantic and fun. 142 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,000 No, you can't, we still have our doubts. 143 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,799 That's not long enough to find a dress. 144 00:08:43,879 --> 00:08:47,000 Oh, I've been married once, Margo, I'll just find something suitable 145 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,600 and stick a carnation on it. 146 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,200 You were talking about your dress, weren't you ? 147 00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:56,480 No. Not entirely. 148 00:08:57,759 --> 00:09:00,559 - Congratulations, Mrs. Durrell. - Thank you, Nancy. 149 00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:03,720 Why wait ? Strike while the iron's hot. 150 00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:06,960 There's no time like the present. 151 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,399 What is this, platitudes day ? 152 00:09:23,759 --> 00:09:26,519 So, why are you and Nancy rowing ? 153 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,519 - I'm glad you brought that up. - Oh, dear. 154 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:35,159 Nancy feels, and, well, I agree with her, but less so... 155 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,240 Oh, bloody hell, Larry. 156 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,320 OK, we... 157 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,039 ...by which I mean Nancy, but a proportion of me... 158 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,039 ...want to find our own place to live. 159 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,639 - No, you don't. - Well... 160 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,840 We have fun here, don't we, the five of us ? 161 00:09:53,919 --> 00:09:54,879 Six. 162 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,759 The six of us, we have fun, 163 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,759 when we're not arguing. Was this Nancy's idea ? 164 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,200 Everything's changing, anyway, with you marrying Sven. 165 00:10:03,279 --> 00:10:07,279 But the important things, the being together, that's not changing. 166 00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:10,080 And you can't afford to move out, Larry, you're broke. 167 00:10:10,159 --> 00:10:11,159 So are you. 168 00:10:12,519 --> 00:10:14,440 I... I can write for money. 169 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:18,720 I'm sad, too. 170 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:26,639 Just in case this helps at all, we think it's fine if Larry leaves. 171 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:27,879 - We do. - Yeah. 172 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,440 Thank you. 173 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:52,960 Morning, Nancy. 174 00:10:53,639 --> 00:10:56,120 - Hello, Mrs. Durrell. - I brought you some tea. 175 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,240 - Nice cup of rosie. - Thank you. 176 00:11:02,759 --> 00:11:08,759 So, I hear you and Larry are thinking about finding a place of your own ? 177 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,600 - Yes. Now, it's not because... - Look, I completely understand. 178 00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:15,919 My concerns are broader. 179 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:22,279 I suppose I'm thinking, does Nancy, a bright young thing, 180 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,600 really want to bury herself away on, let's face it, 181 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:28,000 a primitive Mediterranean island ? 182 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,720 Well, you have. 183 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,000 Larry likes it here. 184 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,279 Yes, and he writes really well on Corfu. 185 00:11:35,919 --> 00:11:38,120 So why are you suggesting I take him away ? 186 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,840 No, I was just talking about you. 187 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,879 See, you're very young to settle down. And this is going to sound horrid, 188 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:54,080 but I don't believe Larry's got other women out of his system. 189 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,440 Mr. Zookeeper ! 190 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,399 - Have a goat. - Thanks, Sven. 191 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,600 And... 192 00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:36,240 ...a tortoise I found on the way. 193 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,120 Slow start, huh ? 194 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,919 Yes, but I cycled round telling people so I'm sure they're on their way. 195 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,039 - Is your mummy here ? - No, she's gone into town. 196 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,840 You're not coming back to work for me, are you ? 197 00:12:57,919 --> 00:13:02,080 No, thanks. I banged my toe on your cretinous shovel. 198 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,200 Look, by the way, I had some of your ouzo. 199 00:13:05,639 --> 00:13:07,759 - It was medicinal. - I noticed. 200 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,120 And congratulations on the emergency wedding thing. 201 00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:12,840 What's the hurry ? 202 00:13:13,279 --> 00:13:14,200 Why wait ? 203 00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:17,639 You can make whoopee outside marriage, you know. 204 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,320 If I'm going to make love to a woman, I want it to be official. 205 00:13:22,399 --> 00:13:24,159 You've never made love to a woman ? 206 00:13:25,399 --> 00:13:27,919 Of course I have. What else would I be doing ? 207 00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:30,200 No, you've got me there. 208 00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:04,879 No. 209 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,759 - What is homosexuality ? - Where have you been all your life ? 210 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,879 - Outside, mainly, shooting. - Is it sex in a home ? 211 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,360 - No. - I give up, then. 212 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,240 - I think I might know. - Of course you do. 213 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,600 Isn't it when two males try to mate ? 214 00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:23,759 Oh, yes, I do know what that is. 215 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,960 It's illegal, and we shouldn't even be talking about it. 216 00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:29,399 - How long has it been going on ? - For ever. 217 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,720 The ancient Greeks couldn't get enough of it. 218 00:14:31,799 --> 00:14:34,879 Wait, how can Sven be homosexual if he's marrying Mother ? 219 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,000 Because he's been hiding it. 220 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,080 But I may be mistaken. 221 00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:42,000 Should I tell Mother ? 222 00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:47,799 What's up with you, Larry ? You're normally so sure of yourself. 223 00:14:47,879 --> 00:14:50,000 Well, life's a bit fraught at the moment. 224 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:54,240 - Nancy isn't talking to me. - Well, that's a good thing, isn't it ? 225 00:14:56,399 --> 00:14:59,600 Oh, there's a postcard for you from Max. 226 00:15:05,519 --> 00:15:07,639 "My dearest Margo, I think of you a lot..." 227 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,120 Oh, thank you, Demetrios. 228 00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:18,440 Dennis. 229 00:15:19,279 --> 00:15:21,399 Look at those. Heart stopping. 230 00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:24,320 My mother's getting married in a week. 231 00:15:24,399 --> 00:15:27,399 - So quick. Is she pregnant ? - No. 232 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,399 - We'd love it if you'd come. - You know I never leave the villa. 233 00:15:37,399 --> 00:15:40,720 A pity, really, cos I do love a wedding. 234 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,879 And it will be hopeless because none of us have a clue about style. 235 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,639 - I may be able to help. - Would you ? 236 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,919 The reception's at home. Come to our house and get some ideas. 237 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,879 Come on, everyone, let's organise this wedding ! 238 00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:11,879 We should serve those little sausages. Everybody loves those. 239 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,360 That's your big plan, is it ? 240 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,000 Well, Sven is Greek Orthodox, 241 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,799 though he likes the confession part, he says, and the hats. 242 00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:20,639 - So it's all planned. - If this wedding does go ahead... 243 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,919 Darling, this wedding is going ahead, 244 00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:27,519 and I would really like it if you could arrange it for me, please. 245 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,840 OK, well, let's form a guard of honour 246 00:16:31,919 --> 00:16:34,240 and fire a shot for every year of your life. 247 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,639 Larry, any ideas ? 248 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,000 - Better ones ? - No. 249 00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:45,519 Lugaretzia, the kitchen is all yours tomorrow, 250 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,519 Sven and I are having a celebratory supper at his house. 251 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,399 - I make wedding cake. - Oh, with white icing ? 252 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,600 No. Brown, with prunes. 253 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,000 Family recipe. 254 00:16:58,639 --> 00:16:59,759 Gerry ! 255 00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:02,879 I bring you enthusiastic visitors to your zoo. 256 00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:05,799 Get out ! 257 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,240 Please come this way. Do ask questions. 258 00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:13,279 Spiros, can I book your car for three o'clock tomorrow at the villa ? 259 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,480 - Of course. Shopping ? - No. I'm curing someone. 260 00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:20,519 These mantis have only one ear, here on their abdomen. 261 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,599 The common tortoise... common, but anything but boring. 262 00:17:33,039 --> 00:17:36,079 Drive slowly, and keep the conversation relaxing and frothy. 263 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,279 My friend, the butler. 264 00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:42,319 How's the butling ? 265 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,799 I have my good days and my bad days. 266 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,079 - Well, this is all very nice. - Stop the car ! 267 00:18:02,519 --> 00:18:04,640 Come on, Countess, this is ridiculous. 268 00:18:07,599 --> 00:18:08,599 Let's go home. 269 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,960 How are the preparations going ? 270 00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,799 Well, I've made this very snazzy clipboard. 271 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,400 Oh. Be nice to Nancy and don't set the oven on fire. 272 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,240 Leave, mother, we'll be fine. 273 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,079 It's been such a long time since I've left you on your own for the evening. 274 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,920 Exactly. It's high time. 275 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,079 - Have fun at Sven's. - I won't be late. 276 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,039 Shouldn't you be back in the morning ? 277 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,400 - No, why ? - See if you get on, as it were. 278 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,799 Check everything works. 279 00:18:46,319 --> 00:18:47,799 What are you talking about ? 280 00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:56,599 This is Samson. 281 00:19:01,759 --> 00:19:05,400 He doesn't bite. He's harmless. Do you want to stroke him ? 282 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,400 It bit me ! 283 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,680 Ah, now, technically, scorpions don't bite, they sting. 284 00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:19,759 Scorpion ?! 285 00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:22,960 So what happens now, then, do I die, or what ? 286 00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:24,759 Well, in fact, though painful, 287 00:19:24,839 --> 00:19:27,200 stings are harmless, unless you're very unlucky. 288 00:19:27,279 --> 00:19:29,039 I am very unlucky ! Look at my life ! 289 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,880 Leslie, please stop shouting, I'm trying to work. 290 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,119 - I've just been bitten by a scorpion ! - He means stung. 291 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:39,640 Anyway... 292 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:45,759 Coming round to the accordion ? 293 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,680 A tiny bit. 294 00:19:48,319 --> 00:19:50,920 Good. Cos I'm playing at our wedding. 295 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,039 Is that supposed to be there ? 296 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:00,480 Must be a hole in the fence. 297 00:22:08,759 --> 00:22:10,000 Always one who escapes. 298 00:22:11,319 --> 00:22:12,440 Isn't there just. 299 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,640 Never mind, I have another one. 300 00:22:20,519 --> 00:22:22,559 My accordions are like my children. 301 00:22:23,079 --> 00:22:25,240 So I won't be needing them much longer. 302 00:22:25,319 --> 00:22:27,480 I'll have your children to entertain me. 303 00:22:29,799 --> 00:22:33,160 I feel a bit odd, Sven, do you mind if I wander home ? 304 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,079 Something I said ? Cooked ? 305 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:43,920 No, no, it's just been a bit stressful, you know, the wedding in a day or two. 306 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,480 - I'll walk you home. - No. 307 00:22:46,759 --> 00:22:48,640 No, the... the air will do me good. 308 00:22:50,839 --> 00:22:51,920 It's been lovely. 309 00:23:03,079 --> 00:23:06,559 Of course I'm panicking ! My hand looks like I've boiled it for an hour. 310 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,200 It hardly shows. But don't let Mother see it, she'll be upset. 311 00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:13,119 Leslie, relax, you have nothing to worry about, 312 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,400 unless you are very unlucky. 313 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,000 Very unlucky ? Yes, well, take a look at that, Professor Insect. 314 00:23:18,079 --> 00:23:21,880 In fact, technically, scorpions are arachnids, rather than insects. 315 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,319 Yes, there seems to be an allergic reaction. 316 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,440 I suspect it will be fine in the morning. 317 00:23:27,519 --> 00:23:30,279 Scorpions don't like being caged, they lash out. 318 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,160 Am I doing a bad thing, Theo, keeping scorpions, keeping anything ? 319 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,799 Well, you want to understand and experience them more. 320 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,480 That's what conservation is. 321 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:40,960 Oh, hello. 322 00:23:44,039 --> 00:23:45,240 Anything happen here ? 323 00:23:48,559 --> 00:23:49,480 How was Sven ? 324 00:23:50,759 --> 00:23:51,799 He was... 325 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:56,599 I don't know. 326 00:24:06,039 --> 00:24:08,359 - And ? - Not a great success, really. 327 00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:09,880 Why ? 328 00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:15,200 Larry, you move in artistic circles. 329 00:24:17,559 --> 00:24:20,480 Do you think Sven might be queer ? 330 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,319 - You got there, too. - I found the photographs. 331 00:24:26,319 --> 00:24:29,519 Most humans are attracted to their own gender to some degree. 332 00:24:29,599 --> 00:24:32,720 Well yes, but... well, he looked really attracted. 333 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,039 It's a scandal that homosexuality is outlawed. 334 00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:40,880 What are they scared of ? That we'll all ditch our wives, and... 335 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,400 Sorry. 336 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,119 What am I going to do ? 337 00:24:49,039 --> 00:24:50,359 And what am I going to do ? 338 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:59,000 Well done, Lugaretzia, bravo, good 'wort'. 339 00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:01,480 Work, my love, work. 340 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,079 Gerry ? That zoo needs to be made safe before the reception. 341 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,400 Lovebirds, we've got a wedding to prepare, let's not dawdle ! 342 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,839 Nancy, put your crayons away and muck in ! 343 00:25:14,759 --> 00:25:18,799 - Larry, please, I can't stand this. - This is family life. 344 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,240 And you've always been the first to question it, 345 00:25:21,319 --> 00:25:24,039 to argue for personal freedom over mindless allegiance. 346 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,960 - And now you're acting like... - They're my family and I love them ! 347 00:25:30,839 --> 00:25:37,119 By which I mean, I understand them and when they suffer, I suffer, 348 00:25:37,759 --> 00:25:41,519 however ludicrous their problems. And I can't believe I'm saying this. 349 00:25:41,599 --> 00:25:45,920 But I have my own life. And I can't believe that I'm saying this, 350 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,640 but it's back in England and I want to go home. 351 00:25:50,039 --> 00:25:51,960 With you, please. 352 00:25:52,799 --> 00:25:54,920 What happened to staying here ? There's a shack... 353 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,119 No, we need to get away, sweetheart, 354 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,920 so we can explore our own life together. 355 00:26:09,079 --> 00:26:11,000 - Thank you, Theo. - What for ? 356 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,000 Helping me. 357 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,880 People were interested. It was so exciting. 358 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:17,920 I know. 359 00:26:19,519 --> 00:26:22,440 It's a shame about Leslie. He really is unlucky, isn't he ? 360 00:26:22,519 --> 00:26:25,119 Always. Is he going to be all right ? 361 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,759 I hope so. Dr. Petridis is away again. 362 00:26:31,519 --> 00:26:32,680 I've been thinking. 363 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,480 Leslie's mishap, perhaps it's a sign. 364 00:26:38,519 --> 00:26:41,160 I mean, we don't need to keep them to love them. 365 00:26:42,319 --> 00:26:43,359 I know. 366 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,720 Is it time to set them all free ? 367 00:26:51,519 --> 00:26:55,839 We could do it at the wedding party tomorrow, as a symbol of something. 368 00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,480 All right. 369 00:27:25,839 --> 00:27:27,559 What have you been doing all day ? 370 00:27:29,079 --> 00:27:31,880 In 12 hours, you're due to be Mrs. Louisa... 371 00:27:34,559 --> 00:27:35,880 What is Sven's surname ? 372 00:27:36,759 --> 00:27:37,720 Lundblad. 373 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,599 Then you really shouldn't marry him. 374 00:27:43,279 --> 00:27:45,920 I have to, Lugaretzia's made a wedding cake. 375 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,480 Yes, I don't think there's a spare prune left on the island. 376 00:27:49,559 --> 00:27:52,359 And Leslie's been running a tight ship with the preparations. 377 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,319 Yes. I took his clipboard away and he made another one. 378 00:27:59,599 --> 00:28:01,079 You know what you have to do. 379 00:28:03,279 --> 00:28:04,319 Talk to Sven. 380 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,119 I was hoping if I didn't, the problem would go away. 381 00:28:07,599 --> 00:28:10,480 Has being an ostrich been a success for you in the past ? 382 00:28:10,559 --> 00:28:12,759 No. Let's talk about you. 383 00:28:14,039 --> 00:28:19,680 Much as I love me, and talking about me, let's do that another time. 384 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,200 Can I come in ? 385 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,039 Sure. 386 00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:58,119 I shouldn't have done it, but... 387 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,480 I looked through your photos. 388 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,720 Of you... with men. 389 00:29:06,079 --> 00:29:07,839 It's true, I've been photo'd with men. 390 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,319 Not just photographed, Sven, you were... 391 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,400 ...you were kissing your friend. 392 00:29:17,119 --> 00:29:18,200 Where are the women ? 393 00:29:18,279 --> 00:29:20,839 What, you want me to have had sex with lots of women ? 394 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,440 - Right now, yes, I'd love that. - This is absurd. 395 00:29:24,839 --> 00:29:28,720 I wouldn't care if you were homosexual if we weren't getting married today. 396 00:29:30,599 --> 00:29:32,599 I had a lovely first marriage, 397 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:37,480 but being married is hard, Sven, and it cannot be based on a big, fat lie. 398 00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:41,880 Well, clearly I used to like men, that way. 399 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,559 But it was a while ago. 400 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,920 Have you ever slept with a woman ? 401 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,960 It was close once but, you know, I think I'll be good. 402 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,200 This isn't fair, Sven. 403 00:29:57,319 --> 00:30:00,839 If I hadn't chanced upon your secret life, 404 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:05,000 I would've come to our bedroom tonight expecting, quite frankly, 405 00:30:05,079 --> 00:30:08,559 a bit of a show, and a huge sense of release. 406 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,200 - And what would've happened ? - Well, I will give it a go. 407 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,960 Why do you want to marry me ? 408 00:30:17,039 --> 00:30:18,640 Because I love being with you. 409 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,880 And I want a family of my own. 410 00:30:23,039 --> 00:30:25,039 Well, you can't bloody have one. 411 00:30:28,839 --> 00:30:30,839 You know what it is like to love men ? 412 00:30:32,319 --> 00:30:35,559 It's like being in prison, in real prison, 413 00:30:36,599 --> 00:30:39,640 prison of pretending and... lies. 414 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,279 We are officially mentally ill, do you know that ? 415 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,720 - It's important I overcome this. - Overcome it ? 416 00:30:49,599 --> 00:30:51,400 It's part of you. 417 00:30:52,119 --> 00:30:53,119 I have to. 418 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,920 I came to this island to put all that in the past. 419 00:30:58,759 --> 00:30:59,799 No. 420 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,000 I am so sorry, Sven, but no. 421 00:31:05,319 --> 00:31:07,480 No matter how much we love each other... 422 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,319 ...it's not right for either of us. 423 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,039 And a marriage would just be more of a lie than your life is now. 424 00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,920 Maybe if we were both 80, it would work. 425 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:26,920 I can wait, if you can. 426 00:32:29,079 --> 00:32:32,839 - You need to cook the little sausages. - Later. I need your advice. 427 00:32:36,119 --> 00:32:38,440 My novel has been accepted for publication, 428 00:32:39,519 --> 00:32:42,359 which, because Corfu inspired me as a writer, 429 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,240 makes my decision whether to stay even harder. 430 00:32:45,799 --> 00:32:47,960 You've never asked me for advice before. 431 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:51,559 So nice. 432 00:32:52,559 --> 00:32:53,559 Yeah. 433 00:32:55,359 --> 00:32:56,279 Anyway... 434 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,839 ...you loved your girlfriend, until she dumped you... 435 00:33:03,039 --> 00:33:05,400 ...so imagine the pain of abandoning her. 436 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,000 Look. You're incredibly annoying. 437 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,839 You could represent England for annoying. 438 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,839 But don't leave. 439 00:33:19,599 --> 00:33:22,319 Girlfriends come and go, but families are for ever. 440 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:24,960 Thank you. 441 00:33:29,119 --> 00:33:30,440 I think we need to talk. 442 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,799 - What, the three of us ? - No, not the three of us, Leslie. 443 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:34,960 Oh, yes, sorry. 444 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,119 Why are you rushing me ? Today of all days. 445 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:08,920 The wedding doesn't change anything. 446 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,800 Not the stupid wedding, the day I hear my novel's being published. 447 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,000 You know how pleased I am for you, Larry. 448 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,039 But I need to know our future. 449 00:34:17,519 --> 00:34:19,440 My family aren't that bad, are they ? 450 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,039 My mother loves you. 451 00:34:21,119 --> 00:34:24,079 So why did she tell me you'd never be faithful to me, then ? 452 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,280 What ? 453 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,960 Larry, don't. It's not about her. 454 00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:41,239 Larry, good. 455 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,519 There isn't going to be a wedding. 456 00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:49,679 Why ? 457 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:56,559 We realised... we're very fond of each other, but not in the right way. 458 00:34:57,559 --> 00:34:59,119 So not because he prefers men ? 459 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:01,199 Well, yes, that. 460 00:35:02,119 --> 00:35:05,559 But just tell the guests, as I say, we realise we're very... 461 00:35:05,639 --> 00:35:07,840 Fond of each other but not in the right way. 462 00:35:09,159 --> 00:35:11,440 It's up to Sven to decide what to tell people. 463 00:35:16,519 --> 00:35:20,559 So no wedding... but the best party ever. 464 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,360 OK, people, so we've got one... 465 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,639 One hour until the wedding, well, the knees-up. 466 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,599 So, basically... yeah. 467 00:35:34,519 --> 00:35:37,079 Did you tell Nancy I'm a philandering bastard ? 468 00:35:37,519 --> 00:35:39,719 - I'm so sorry. - It's not even true. 469 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,320 I may talk about sex all the time, and think about it 470 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:47,519 and write about it, brilliantly, but I don't do it. 471 00:35:48,639 --> 00:35:52,280 I've waited steadfastly for Nancy for five months ! 472 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,440 I didn't want you to leave. 473 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,239 It was my turn to be selfish. 474 00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:25,280 "Larry, catching the five o'clock ferry home." 475 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,440 "I hope with all my heart you will join me. Love, Nancy." 476 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,559 Margo, you forgot to put your skirt on. 477 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,280 Oh, God ! 478 00:37:11,079 --> 00:37:15,440 Well, you got your wish, Spiros. 479 00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:17,880 I'm not marrying Sven. 480 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,559 Oh, Louisa. 481 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,239 - Will you tell everyone ? - Of course. 482 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,199 They are really fond of each other, 483 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,239 just not in the right way. 484 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:41,480 OK, together we'll find you a new, Greek husband. 485 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,599 - Too soon ? - Yeah. 486 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,000 Don't worry, I've examined Leslie's arm and treated it. 487 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,039 I'm pretty sure we can save it. 488 00:38:16,599 --> 00:38:17,880 What ? His arm ? 489 00:38:19,599 --> 00:38:22,760 Save it from feeling a bit stiff in the morning. 490 00:38:25,559 --> 00:38:27,079 - Right. - Cheers. 491 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:28,840 Cheers. 492 00:38:41,519 --> 00:38:43,280 Don't just stand there, misting over, 493 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,400 come and congratulate the Countess on getting out of the bloody house. 494 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,599 How are you feeling ? 495 00:38:48,679 --> 00:38:52,639 A little like a tightrope walker trying not to look down. 496 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,039 - Have a drink. - No, that makes it worse, apparently. 497 00:38:55,119 --> 00:38:56,360 Oh, don't have a drink. 498 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,519 Apparently we've missed the ceremony, 499 00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:03,119 but... who did your mother marry ? 500 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,360 Hello, party ! 501 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:09,320 - Max has arrived ! - And Donald. 502 00:39:10,679 --> 00:39:11,800 But mainly Max. 503 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:13,239 Excuse me. 504 00:39:16,639 --> 00:39:18,119 - Hello, Margy. - Hello. 505 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,519 - You know how to throw a party. - Well... 506 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,039 Six months in Corfu, feels like a lifetime in Bournemouth. 507 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,480 I don't know if it's the atmosphere, or the wine, 508 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,920 but I'm actually starting to enjoy the accordion. 509 00:40:02,079 --> 00:40:04,760 I'll have to tell Larry, he was always... 510 00:41:03,039 --> 00:41:05,320 I knew Gerry was a kindred spirit 511 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,559 when together we watched a family of dung beetles for three hours. 512 00:41:10,599 --> 00:41:12,719 So Gerry loves animals, but... 513 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,079 A scorpion, massive, and it stung me there. 514 00:41:15,159 --> 00:41:17,880 The pain would have actually killed most men, so... 515 00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,119 Sorry, sorry. Carry on. 516 00:41:21,199 --> 00:41:24,559 Thank you. Gerry loves animals, 517 00:41:24,639 --> 00:41:28,559 but part of loving is knowing when to let go. 518 00:41:30,119 --> 00:41:35,599 So today we are releasing my precious animal family back into the wild, 519 00:41:35,679 --> 00:41:40,119 where, hopefully, like us, they'll thrive and have fun 520 00:41:40,519 --> 00:41:42,199 and if they're lucky, multiply. 521 00:41:45,159 --> 00:41:46,159 So... 522 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:07,440 Stop. 523 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,920 I need to be with them a little longer. 524 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,840 It's not enough to observe them from a distance. 525 00:42:19,599 --> 00:42:23,320 To understand them properly, you need to be with them every day 526 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,719 and hold them and smell them. 527 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,480 Anyway... sorry. 528 00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:33,800 Maybe next week. 529 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,119 Please, go back and enjoy the party. 530 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,719 Thank goodness. I thought for a horrible moment 531 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,599 you were going to go ahead with it. 532 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:47,719 Well done. 533 00:43:21,119 --> 00:43:22,239 This feels new. 534 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:57,519 Thank you, Larry. 535 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:02,880 Margo told me about your book. 536 00:44:04,159 --> 00:44:05,360 I'm very proud of you. 537 00:44:06,119 --> 00:44:07,159 So you should be. 538 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,199 I'm proud of all of you. 539 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,599 - So, what's next ? - For you ? 540 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,440 Well, you know what they say, when you fall off a horse... 541 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:26,119 - Give up horse-riding ? - Get back on again quickly. 542 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,519 You know, Spiros said something similar. 543 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,039 Only not as nicely. 544 00:44:34,639 --> 00:44:37,400 Somewhere on this island, there's someone for you. 545 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:47,119 You know, I just dream of the day when all four of you find... 546 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:53,719 ...happiness and fulfilment and love. 547 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,280 This may not happen. 548 00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,920 It's my job to make it happen. 549 00:45:08,679 --> 00:45:09,719 We'll see. 550 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:12,360 We'll see. 551 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:56,159 End of episode 6 40535

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