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-CAPPUCCINO, STAT! -HERE.

-BABY-PROOFING? -DONE.

-FLOWERS? -TULIPS.

-POTPOURRI? -VANILLA.

WHERE ARE MY RENT-A-KIDS?

HERE THEY ARE NOW.

ONE IS 15, BUT HE'LL PASS FOR 12.

WHOLESOME.

THE FRECKLES ARE A NICE TOUCH.

THANK YOU.

MAYBE LOSE THE CAPS.

ALL RIGHT.

I WANT TO SEE BIG SMILES.

REMEMBER...

YOU LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, YOU LOVE YOUR HOUSE.

ANY QUESTIONS?

WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?

WE NEED TO MAKE THIS LOOK LIKE A FAMILY HOUSE.

YOU'RE LIKE PROPS.

ALL RIGHT, NOW GO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HAVING FUN,

AND REMEMBER, STAY AWAY FROM THE CLIFF.

COME ON...

OFF WE GO.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE TWO SALES AWAY

FROM BEING REALTOR OF THE YEAR?

LET'S MAKE IT ONE.

OKAY.

OH, THE BROWN SHOWING IS ACROSS TOWN,

DO YOU WANT ME TO HANDLE IT?

NOPE, PUSH IT BY AN HOUR.

I'LL BE THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MY CLIENT IS ON HER WAY.

YOU CALLED FOR A HANDYMAN.

AND YOU'RE NOT FINISHED YET? I CALLED YOU LAST NIGHT.

I KNOW. YOU WOKE ME UP.

OH, YOU GO TO SLEEP AT 9:00?

IT WAS MIDNIGHT.

OH.

I'LL BE DONE HERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

IF THEY GET HERE BEFORE THEN,

YOU CAN TELL THEM I COME WITH THE HOUSE.

I'M NOT SURE THAT'S A SELLING POINT.

WELL, WHO WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN JULIE STERLING, RIGHT?

HAVE WE MET?

NO.

I SAT ON A BUS BENCH WITH A PICTURE OF YOU ON IT.

AND BY THE WAY,

I GOT A SPLINTER.

[GROANS IN EXASPERATION]

OUT OF CURIOSITY,

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY WHO STARTED THIS JOB?

HE QUIT.

HUH.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.

I HEARD THAT.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

ERICA...

HEY.

OH, YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

OH, THANKS.

I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

I WANTED YOU TO SEE THIS ONE ASAP.

IT IS NOT GOING TO LAST.

OH, HASN'T IT BEEN ON THE MARKET

FOR OVER A YEAR?

IT WAS, WITH ANOTHER AGENT,

BUT THE SELLER IS VERY MOTIVATED.

TRANSLATION, SUBTRACT 15% FROM THE PRICE.

AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD COULD NOT BE HOTTER.

UH, I DON'T KNOW.

IT SEEMED A LITTLE HILLY FOR A STROLLER.

HAVE YOU SEEN

THOSE NEW ELECTRIC STROLLERS FROM ENGLAND?

I GAVE ONE AS A CLOSING GIFT TO A CLIENT,

A NEW MOTHER LIKE YOU.

SHE USES IT MORE THAN HER CAR.

NOW, LOOK, I KNOW AT FIRST GLANCE,

THIS HOUSE MAY NOT LOOK LIKE YOUR TYPICAL FAMILY HOME,

BUT JUST TRY TELLING THAT TO THOSE BOYS DOWN THERE.

OH...

UH, THE HOUSE SITS ON A GENTLE SLOPE.

GO GET IT!

OH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR ONE MOMENT?

GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE!

MOVE BACK! [MUFFLED YELLING]

[SHOUTING IN PROTEST] BUT IT'S RIGHT THERE!

JUST STAY RIGHT THERE.

STEP AWAY!

AND IT'S SO FUNNY, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW,

KIDS AREN'T KIDS FOR LONG,

AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

YOU'RE SITTING, ENJOYING THE VIEW

WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER,

SIPPING ON YOUR PINOT GRIGIO.

HMM. WELL, IT IS BEAUTIFUL, BUT I--

HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU THE MASTER.

[TOILET FLUSHES UPSTAIRS]

LET ME SHOW YOU THE KITCHEN.

IT'S ALL STATE OF THE ART.

I KNOW YOU LOVE TO COOK.

DID YOU GET AN OFFER ON THE CLIFF HOUSE?

I'M A STEP AWAY.

GREAT.

BECAUSE WE'RE A STEP AWAY FROM CLOSING THAT MERGER

WITH WORLD REALTY.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS--

OUR LITTLE COMPANY IS GOING BIG-TIME,

NOT TO MENTION OUR BONUSES,

AND A LISTING NETWORK

THAT STRETCHES HALFWAY ACROSS THE STATE.

KA-CHING.

YEAH.

HOW CAN I HELP?

WELL, AS YOU KNOW,

WORLD REALTY RELIES HEAVILY ON COMMUNITY RELATIONS.

BEFORE THEY HAND THIS OVER,

THEY WANT TO MAKE SURE

THAT FOOTPRINT IN THE COMMUNITY IS BIG ENOUGH,

AND I TOLD THEM IT IS.

I AM ALL OVER IT.

WHAT CAN I DO?

A FUNDRAISER? FREE SEMINAR? 10K?

OOH, SILENT AUCTION?

ACTUALLY, IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION

THAT A LOCAL ORGANIZATION NEEDS OUR SUPPORT.

WERE YOU EVER A GIRL SCOUT?

NO.

THIS IS

THE 100th YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE GIRL SCOUTS.

OH. ISN'T THAT NICE.

IT IS,

FOR EVERYBODY BUT TROOP #114

BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE A LEADER.

SO I OFFERED YOU.

WAIT... WHAT?

THEY'RE CALLED "THE FIREFLIES,"

THEY MEET ON TUESDAY NIGHTS AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER.

HELLO?

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

I HAVE STAGINGS, I HAVE OPEN HOUSES,

I'M HAND-HOLDING CLIENTS 24-7.

AND NOT TO MENTION,

I HAVE CARAVAN ON TUESDAYS.

WORK AROUND IT.

NOW, I HAVE COMMITTED YOU FOR 90 DAYS.

THAT SHOULD GET YOU THROUGH THE COOKIE SALE,

AND THEN THEY CAN GET A PERMANENT REPLACEMENT.

JUST GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE.

WHAT ABOUT BRAD? OR TED?

THEY'RE MEN.

SHE ALREADY GOT ME.

I'M COACHING THE LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM.

TED'S ON THE MIDDLE SCHOOL CARNIVAL.

[WHISPERING]: LOLA, I CAN'T DO THIS.

I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH CHILDREN.

THEY'RE MESSY, AND THEY'RE DISTRACTING--

YOU WANT YOUR BONUS?

OF COURSE.

WANT TO MAKE PARTNER SOME DAY?

EQUITY PARTNER?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHY IT SAYS "MUST SEE INSIDE"

BECAUSE THE OUTSIDE IS HIDEOUS.

LET ME TRANSLATE.

"MATURE LANDSCAPING" MEANS "BRING YOUR OWN CHAINSAW."

I AM TALKING "BLAIR WITCH PROJECT"

MEETS "HOARDERS."

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M HERE.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

OKAY.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

WHAT IS IT?

WELL, JUST TELL HIM THE COUCHES NEED TO GO.

BECAUSE THEY'RE PLEATHER.

OKAY... THREE.

HI.

I'M JULIE.

[TOGETHER]: HI, JULIE.

HAZEL HILLBURN.

HAVEN'T I SEEN YOUR FACE BEFORE?

OH, YES.

JULIE STERLING, PACIFIC REALTY.

ARE YOU HERE TO SELL MY GIRLS A CONDO?

NO.

OH, BUT I DO HAVE A NICE SPLIT-LEVEL BY THE PARK.

IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?

WE'RE BUSY HERE, HMM?

UH, YES.

I'M THE NEW DEN MOTHER.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU MEAN "TROOP LEADER," DEAR.

AND NOT OF THESE GIRLS.

THESE ARE THE MONARCHS.

REGIONAL AWARD WINNERS 11 STRAIGHT YEARS?

I HAVE LED THEIR OLDER SISTERS,

AND I WILL LEAD THEIR YOUNGER ONES.

I BELIEVE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE FIREFLIES.

THEY'RE DOWN THE HALL.

OH.

[WHISPERING]: IN THE STORAGE ROOM.

RECYCLE.

[OBJECTS CLATTER, SHE YELPS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

FIREFLIES, I PRESUME?

JULIE STERLING, PACIFIC REALTY.

WE'RE GOING TO BE SPENDING SOME TIME TOGETHER.

90 DAYS TO BE EXACT.

WELL, I GUESS WE SHOULD INTRODUCE OURSELVES.

MY NAME'S DAISY.

I'VE BEEN A GIRL SCOUT SINCE I WAS SIX.

ALTHOUGH TECHNICALLY,

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN IN AN ACTUAL TROOP.

YOU SEE, BEFORE I WAS JUST A VIRTUAL SCOUT.

WAIT, YOU MEAN ONLINE?

YES.

MY DAD AND I MOVED HERE FROM RAZOR, ALASKA.

THERE AREN'T ANY GIRL SCOUTS THERE.

ACTUALLY, THERE AREN'T ANY GIRLS THERE MY AGE,

AND ONLY ONE BOY-- HE EATS PAPER.

OH.

I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS FOREVER,

SO I REALLY HOPE YOU'LL STAY LONGER

THAN OUR LAST VOLUNTEER.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?

WE DIDN'T SEE EYE TO EYE ON THINGS.

AND YOU ARE...?

FRANK.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, FRANK.

90 DAYS, HUH?

I'M SERVING 90 DAYS, TOO.

IT'S EITHER THIS OR SEVENTH GRADE DETENTION.

OKAY, THEN.

HI.

I'M EMMA.

WHOOPS.

THEY'RE FOR MY COLD.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T CATCH THAT.

HER NAME'S MATTIE.

SHE DOESN'T SAY MUCH.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO. YOU TALK FOR HER.

[DAISY SIGHS]

MATTIE HERE WANTS TO WIN "AMERICAN IDOL."

MAYBE YOU COULD SING SOMETHING FOR US, MATTIE.

OH, NO, NO.

SHE DOESN'T LIKE SINGING IN PUBLIC.

I'M PARIS.

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN, PARIS?

BOYS.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, I SUPPOSE.

ALTHOUGH HOW OLD ARE YOU?

11.

WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE

YOU'RE GOING TO BE GETTING MARRIED ANYTIME SOON.

HER FACEBOOK STATUS SAYS SHE IS.

IT'S COMPLICATED.

ARE YOU MARRIED?

NO.

KIDS?

NO.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D BE WEARING A UNIFORM.

WAS I SUPPOSED TO?

DID YOU BRING SNACKS?

OH. NO.

I HAVE MINTS.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF

WITH THIS.

WELL, DON'T YOU NEED IT?

SHE HAS IT MEMORIZED.

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF MAKING OUT SOME SCHEDULES.

DOES THIS SAY "RIVER CLEAN-UP"?

THAT'S OUR ENVIRONMENTAL PROJECT.

SO...

JULIE.

HOW DID YOU BECOME OUR TROOP VOLUNTEER?

WERE YOU A GOLD AWARD RECIPIENT?

NO.

SILVER?

I WASN'T IN A TROOP.

OH.

SO YOU JUST REALLY LOVE GIRL SCOUTS?

NO, NOT EXACTLY.

90 DAYS.

SHE'S SERVING A SENTENCE.

NO, IT'S NOT A SENTENCE.

IT'S A, UM, COMMUNITY SERVICE THING.

I'M, UH...

I'M GIVING BACK, I'M PAYING IT FORWARD.

SO YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.

LOOK, YOU SEEM LIKE REALLY NICE GIRLS.

MOST OF YOU.

BUT...

I JUST THINK YOU DESERVE A REAL LEADER.

WHOA, YOU'RE QUITTING ALREADY?

I JUST, UM...

I JUST THINK

MAYBE ONE OF YOUR MOTHERS WOULD BE BETTER SUITED.

MY MOM'S IN THE MILITARY.

MY MOM WORKS TWO JOBS.

MATTIE'S MOM HAS CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

DON'T LOOK AT ME, I LIVE WITH MY GRANDMOTHER.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER?

MY MOM DIED.

OH.

I'M SORRY.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE MONARCHS?

COULDN'T YOU JOIN THEM?

[THEY SCOFF]

THE MONARCHS ARE A-LIST.

THEY WIN THE ANNUAL COOKIE SALE DRIVE EVERY YEAR.

WE DON'T EXACTLY FIT IN.

LISTEN, IF WE DON'T HAVE A TROOP VOLUNTEER,

WE'LL BE DISBANDED.

OKAY, WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

ARE THEY CLOG DANCING?

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

MY CAR.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

SHOULD WE REALLY BE DOING THIS?

JULIE, YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THAT BOOK OF IDEAS--

SHH!

OH, MY GOSH, ARE YOU BREAKING IN?

HI, PAIGE.

WELL, HE HAD AN INSPECTION.

CAVEAT EMPTOR--

WELL, "BUYER BEWARE."

WOW, THIS PLACE IS COOL...

PAIGE, YOU DIDN'T RESTAGE THE HOUSE.

I HAVE GOT TROY COMING IN 30 MINUTES.

NO, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF.

IS THIS YOUR HOUSE?

NO, IT'S A LISTING.

-I'M SELLING IT. -OH.

[DOORBELL RINGS, JULIE GASPS IN HORROR]

HE'S EARLY!

CAN WE HAVE SOME PIE?

NO, THE PIE IS DISPLAY.

OOH!

HAVE SOME CRUDITE.

CREW-DAY-WHAT?

[JULIE MUMBLES NERVOUSLY]

MISSED ONE.

DOES HE LIVE HERE?

NO ONE LIVES HERE.

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE IN ALL THESE PICTURES?

THEY MAKE THE HOUSE LOOK LIVED IN.

I KNOW HOW TO MAKE THIS PLACE LOOK LIVED IN.

CAN I KEEP THE LITTLE BOY?

KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

MATTIE REALLY WANTS SOME PIE.

ALL RIGHT, EAT THE PIE.

[TOGETHER]: SWEET!

-JUST DON'T MAKE A MESS. -GO FOR IT, MATTIE.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

BE RIGHT THERE, TROY!

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT.

AND UNFORTUNATELY, HE'S NOT KID-FRIENDLY.

LIKE YOU?

YES.

SO I'M JUST GOING TO PUT YOU IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.

COME ON.

[SIGHS]

COME ON.

THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE MORE THAN TEN MINUTES.

TRY NOT TO MAKE ANY NOISE.

IF I CLOSE THIS DEAL,

THERE'S GOING TO BE SOMETHING IN IT FOR ALL OF YOU.

GO, GO!

A PIECE OF THE ACTION. SWEET.

WE'LL TALK.

AND DON'T SCRATCH THE WASHER-DRYER.

IT'S A NEPTUNE SERIES! [DOORBELL RINGING]

I'M COMING, TROY!

OH!

COMING!

HERE I COME!

JUST ONE MINUTE, I'M...

ONE SECOND, JUST...

[DOORBELL RINGS]

TROY.

I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

I HAVE A FEELING THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BE GONE

BY THE END OF THE DAY.

YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.

LEAD THE WAY.

THIS HOUSE WAS DESIGNED FOR YOU.

IT'S ULTRA MODERN,

GLASS, GRANITE, STEEL, HIGH-END EVERYTHING,

SUB-ZERO KITCHEN, THE WORKS.

I KNOW YOU'RE IN THE MUSIC BIZ--

THIS PLACE IS PERFECT FOR ENTERTAINING.

THERE'LL BE NO TRICK-OR-TREATERS

OR PTA MOMS WITH STROLLERS AROUND HERE.

I ALSO DON'T SEE ANY PLACE FOR A RECORDING STUDIO.

OH, I DO.

YOU PUSH THIS WALL BACK,

A LITTLE STRUCTURAL ENGINEERING,

YOU ARE CUTTING YOUR NEXT ALBUM.

I DON'T KNOW. SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF WORK.

WELL, WHAT WORTH HAVING ISN'T?

PICTURE AN INFINITY POOL AND A SPA.

SINK INTO THIS CHAIR, AND TAKE IN THE VIEW.

[DIP SQUELCHES]

THERE'S SOMETHING IN THIS CHAIR.

[YELPS]

[STAMMERING]

THIS STUFF IS LIKE GLUE.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS GOT THERE.

THESE ARE $2,000 PANTS.

I'LL TAKE IT OUT OF MY COMMISSION.

WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?

EMMA'S GONNA HURL!

[KIDS SCREAMING]

GIRLS, JUST...

NO, NO!

[SCREAMING]

DID YOU WANT TO SEE THE MASTER?

I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.

EXCUSE ME.

[PHONE RINGS]

JULIE STERLING.

GOOD MORNING!

DID I WAKE YOU?

WHO IS THIS?

TOM ROYCE.

THE HANDYMAN?

IS THIS A RETALIATION WAKE-UP CALL?

I JUST WANTED TO GET AN EARLY START

ON THAT TEAR-DOWN YOU SPOKE ABOUT.

[SIGHS]

ECRU, NAVAJO WHITE,

SWISS COFFEE, DESERT SAND,

SAGE, HEATHER, AND MUSHROOM.

COULDN'T THIS HAVE WAITED UNTIL SUN-UP?

PROBABLY.

BUT I JUST LOVE

HOW THE EARLY MORNING LIGHT

WASHES ACROSS THIS ROOM, DON'T YOU?

DO YOU HAVE A PREFERENCE, OR SHOULD I DECIDE?

SAGE FOR THE KITCHEN, MUSHROOM FOR THE LIVING ROOM,

ECRU TRIM, SWISS COFFEE FOR THE BATHROOM.

NOT MY CHOICE,

BUT THEN I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE.

SOMEONE'S GOING TO BUY THIS HOUSE,

AND THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE IT.

AFTER THEY TEAR IT DOWN.

[WATER DRIPPING]

IT'S NOT A TEAR-DOWN.

YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT,

OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO MAKE A SALE?

OH, SO YOU'RE A HANDYMAN AND A THERAPIST.

NO,

BUT IF YOU NEED A THERAPIST,

I JUST INSTALLED A SEPTIC TANK FOR ONE.

I COULD MAKE A CALL.

I THINK WE'RE DONE HERE.

YEAH.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF I NEED ANYTHING.

GREAT.

GREAT.

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO KIDS.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THEM WHEN I WAS ONE.

THINK OF THEM AS FUTURE HOME-BUYERS.

[SIGHS]

-BUT I JUST-- -NO BUTS.

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH WORLD REALTY.

THEY LOVE THE WHOLE GIRL SCOUT ANGLE.

IF YOU QUIT ON THAT TROOP NOW,

IT'LL BE A P.R. NIGHTMARE.

BESIDES, THINK OF THE GIRLS.

OH, I AM.

OKAY, LOOK, IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT BUSINESS.

THIS COULD CHANGE THEIR LIVES.

THOSE GIRLS SHOULDN'T BE DEPRIVED OF AN OPPORTUNITY,

JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE A LEADER.

I TAKE IT YOU WERE A GIRL SCOUT.

STILL AM.

IN FACT, I'M A BOARD MEMBER

OF THE LOCAL COUNCIL.

GIRLS SCOUTS MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY.

AND YOU REALLY THINK

GIRL SCOUTS COULD CHANGE THEIR LIVES?

I DO.

IN FACT, I THINK THAT IT COULD CHANGE YOURS, TOO.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS.

I MEAN, YOU NEED TO BE SELLING HOUSES,

NOT COOKIES.

YEAH, WELL I NEED TO STICK IT OUT

THROUGH THE COOKIE SALE.

APPARENTLY, IT'S THIS BIG DEAL.

THE TOP-SELLING TROOP WINS A TRIP TO THE ROSE PARADE,

AND GETS TO RIDE ON THE CENTENNIAL FLOAT,

WHICH, I CAN ASSURE YOU, IS NOT GONNA BE THESE GIRLS.

EW.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

IT'S THE BROWNS. SHOULD I RESCHEDULE YOU?

NO, I'LL BE THERE.

HELLO!

AW, I'M SORRY.

SHE'S ACTUALLY IN A MEETING RIGHT NOW.

YES, THIS IS PAIGE SPEAKING.

OH, IT'S PERFECT.

WAIT, FLARE IT AT THE WAIST

ANOTHER INCH.

ARE YOU SURE?

STERLING.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE QUIT BY NOW.

WHAT'S IT BEEN, A WEEK?

TWO.

BUT IT DOES SEEM LONGER.

THE FIREFLIES ARE AN UNUSUAL GROUP,

AND BY "UNUSUAL," I DO MEAN "HOPELESS."

WELL, I AGREE THEY NEED A LITTLE WORK,

BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD CALL THEM--

THEIR LAST LEADER FLED IN DESPAIR AND HUMILIATION.

LOOK, I WILL SAVE YOU THE PARTICULARS,

BUT DO I BELIEVE THE OLD MOTTO SAYS IT ALL.

"BE PREPARED."

THAT'S BOY SCOUTS.

WHATEVER.

WE BOTH USE IT.

[CHANGEROOM CURTAIN SLIDES]

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

CAN I HELP YOU WITH YOUR SIZE?

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN BLACK?

WHY ARE WE HERE?

THIS PLACE IS KIND OF OLD.

WE CALL THAT CHARMING.

OR YOU COULD CALL IT "A DUMP."

OR YOU COULD CALL IT "METICULOUSLY MAINTAINED

IN ITS ORIGINAL CONDITION."

SOME MAY SEE THIS AS A TEAR-DOWN,

I SEE THIS AS A GREAT HOUSE.

IT JUST NEEDS LOTS OF TLC.

TENDER LOVING CARE?

TONS OF LIQUID CASH.

JULIE?

ISN'T THAT KIND OF LIKE LYING?

NO, IT'S PRESENTING THINGS

IN THEIR MOST POSITIVE LIGHT.

SEE, A HOLE IN THE ROOF?

A "NATURAL SKYLIGHT."

A MUDDY DITCH IN THE YARD?

A "SEASONAL CREEK."

[LAUGHING]

WHAT ABOUT THE ROARS OF CARS OUTSIDE?

"CONVENIENT TO THE HIGHWAY."

PUKE-COLORED CARPET!

"VINTAGE DECOR."

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE US?

TEAR-DOWNS, OBVIOUSLY.

NO, I--

I WOULDN'T SAY YOU'RE TEAR-DOWNS.

I'D SAY YOU'RE...

FIXER-UPPERS, WITH NATURAL CHARM, AND...

LOTS OF POTENTIAL.

OH, I BROUGHT SNACKS.

I HOPE YOU LIKE SUSHI.

AND THESE KALE CHIPS ARE A GWYNETH PALTROW RECIPE.

WHO?

LET'S TAKE THIS INTO THE DEN.

UM, JULIE, I REALLY THINK

WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE RIVER CLEAN-UP.

OH, YES, THE RIVER CLEAN-UP.

AND AFTERWARDS, THERE'S A BONFIRE.

YOU SEE, I MADE A LIST OF ALL THE STUFF WE NEED.

OH, OKAY.

UM, "BUCKETS, SHOVELS, WORK GLOVES,

RAKES, FLASHLIGHTS--"

UM, WE'LL ALSO NEED

HATS, SUNSCREEN, NON-COTTON CLOTHES--

IT KEEPS YOU DRIER IF IT RAINS--

AND WE'LL NEED SANDWICHES--

I'LL BRING SANDWICHES.

[EVERYONE]: NO!

OH.

I HAVE AN IN WITH A SANDWICH GUY.

I'LL HANDLE IT.

WELL, WHAT CAN I BRING?

YOU CAN BRING MARSHMALLOWS FOR THE S'MORES.

JUST REGULAR MARSHMALLOWS.

NO GWYNETH PALTROW ANYTHING.

OKAY.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

WELL, THIS HAS BEEN VERY PRODUCTIVE,

BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME,

I DO HAVE A SHOWING.

OH. LAUNDRY ROOM?

NO, YOU CAN STAY HERE.

I BROUGHT YOU...

A MOVIE...

ABOUT RIVERS.

ENJOY.

PATTY, ELLEN...

HI. I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

IS THAT A GIRL SCOUT SCARF?

OH, YES.

MY DAUGHTER WAS A GIRL SCOUT.

SHE WAS SO SWEET AT THAT AGE.

I'M SURE SHE STILL IS.

NO, SHE'S NOT.

SO, SHOULD WE HAVE A LOOK AT THIS LITTLE CHARMER?

[GIRLS SCREAMING IN TERROR]

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT?

[HORROR MOVIE BLASTING, GIRLS SCREAMING]

YOU'RE LETTING THEM WATCH "ANACONDA"?

I WAS GOING FOR A "RIVER" THEME!

YOU'VE SCARRED THEM FOR LIFE.

[TURNS OFF MOVIE]

I'M SORRY.

[SOBBING AND GASPING IN HORROR]

IT'S OVER...

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

OH, I DIDN'T WAKE YOU, DID I?

WHAT IS IT?

I HAD A SHOWING,

AT THE HOUSE,

AND I THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO KNOW HOW THAT SAGE COLOR LOOKED.

I ASSUME IT LOOKED GREEN.

NO, IT LOOKED GRAY GREEN.

TOMATO, TO-MAH-TO.

WELL, I DIDN'T LOVE IT.

IT'S A KITCHEN WALL, JULIE.

LOOK, THE KITCHEN IS THE HEART OF THE HOME.

REALLY?

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BEDROOM.

NO, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S THE KITCHEN.

ANYWAY, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW.

CAN'T WAIT.

[HANGS UP TELEPHONE]

OKAY, GOODNIGHT THEN.

[SIGHS]

HOW COME WE NEVER MEET AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER?

BECAUSE IT'S ATROCIOUS.

HOW COME WE NEVER MEET AT YOUR PLACE?

MY HOME OWNERS ASSOCIATION DOESN'T ALLOW KIDS, PETS,

OR EXCESSIVE NOISE.

SOUNDS FUN.

SO, ARE WE GOING TO THE CLIFF HOUSE

OR THE TEAR-DOWN TODAY?

NEITHER.

I READ YOUR GUIDEBOOK LAST NIGHT.

IT TURNS OUT, I HAVEN'T BEEN THE IDEAL LEADER.

THAT COULD USE A LITTLE MORE CURB APPEAL.

YOU REALLY THINK THE BIRDS WILL NOTICE?

OH, IT'S A CAPE COD. THAT'S NICE.

THANKS.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT IN A DOOR, THOUGH.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE.

OH, YEAH, DO YOU HAVE ANY LITTLE PIECES OF GRANITE

OR BERBER CARPET?

NO.

HI!

JULIE, SORRY,

I WILL NEED YOU TO SIGN THESE.

GIRLS, THIS IS MY ASSISTANT, PAIGE.

[EVERYONE]: HI.

PAIGE, THESE ARE THE GIRLS.

HI.

SO JULIE HAS ANOTHER 60 DAYS WITH YOU PEOPLE?

ACTUALLY, 76 MORE DAYS.

WE'RE EARNING OUR WOODWORKING BADGE.

FASCINATING.

UH, ACTUALLY...

SORRY, JULIE,

COULD I JUST SPEAK TO YOU FOR ONE MINUTE?

OH, YOU CAN SPEAK IN FRONT OF THEM.

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

UM, THE BROWN DEAL FELL THROUGH.

[SIGHS]

IT WAS THE WIFE, WASN'T IT?

I KNEW SHE HAD COLD FEET.

SHE LIKES ME.

I COULD SIT DOWN WITH HER, MAYBE CALM THE STORM.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I'LL HANDLE IT.

ARRANGE A DINNER ASAP--

MICHAEL'S, THAT'S HER FAVORITE.

AND CALL THE MORTGAGE BROKER,

TELL THEM TO DROP THEIR COMMISSION

BY A QUARTER OF A POINT--

WE'LL SETTLE IT ON THE BACK END.

OKAY, SURE.

ARE YOU IN A SLUMP?

WHAT?

MAYBE WE'RE BAD LUCK, JULIE.

I MEAN, YOU HAVEN'T SOLD THOSE HOUSES YET.

YEAH,

I THOUGHT EVERYTHING YOU TOUCHED TURNED TO SOLD.

UNTIL SHE MET US.

NOW EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES TURNS INTO...

SOMETHING ELSE.

LIKE WHAT?

WELL, IT AIN'T GOLD.

NO, I AM NOT IN A SLUMP.

AND YOU'RE NOT BAD LUCK.

YOU KNOW WHAT,

THE RIVER CLEAN-UP'S THIS WEEKEND.

THAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.

YEAH.

MY DAD'S GOT THE GEAR READY.

YOU JUST HAVE TO PICK IT UP.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU DRIVE ME HOME, YOU CAN MEET HIM.

OKAY.

I THINK HE'S BEEN KIND OF LONELY

SINCE WE MOVED HERE.

AND SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR ANYTHING...

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?

YOU'RE HIGH-MAINTENANCE.

I'M NOT HIGH-MAINTENANCE.

ALL YOU DO IS WORK.

MY CLIENTS NEED A LOT OF HAND HOLDING.

RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE TIME-CONSUMING.

IT'S A TRADE-OFF.

OKAY, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

YOU ARE 11 YEARS OLD.

11 IS THE NEW 13.

BESIDES,

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.

NOT IF SHE WANTS KIDS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.

OKAY, I THINK WE'RE DONE HERE.

CAN I GET THE BILL, PLEASE?

MY DAD JUST TEXTED.

HE SHOULD BE HOME ANY MINUTE.

SO, HERE WE ARE.

TWO BEDROOMS, ONE AND A HALF BATHS,

1,300 SQUARE FEET.

NO FLOWERS, FEW TREES.

"LOW MAINTENANCE YARD," RIGHT?

YOU CATCH ON FAST.

I TRY.

SO, IT'S JUST YOU AND YOUR DAD?

YUP. WE'VE BEEN HERE

SIX AND A HALF MONTHS ALREADY.

HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BEST

IF I WAS AROUND MORE KIDS MY AGE.

IT'S PRETTY QUIET IN RAZOR.

HE SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD DAD.

HE IS.

YOU KNOW, THE FENG SHUI IN THIS ROOM

WOULD FLOW SO MUCH BETTER

IF THAT COUCH WAS FACING THE FIREPLACE.

OH. YEAH, I COULD SEE THAT.

SHOULD WE...?

[WHISPERING] DEFINITELY.

OH, GOOD.

I WORRY ABOUT HIM, THOUGH.

WHO, YOUR DAD?

YEAH.

WHENEVER HE'S NOT WORKING, HE JUST HANGS OUT WITH ME.

WELL, HE HANGS OUT WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WANTS TO.

UH, MOVE THAT CHAIR NEXT TO THE COUCH.

BUT SERIOUSLY,

I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING I CAN BE.

YOU'RE NOT ANNOYING.

YES, I AM.

EVERYBODY THINKS SO.

WELL, ANNOYING ISN'T ALWAYS BAD.

IT ISN'T?

NOPE, IT MEANS YOU'RE MEMORABLE,

AND YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

AND BESIDES, YOU'LL GROW OUT OF IT.

OKAY...

OH, AND MOVE THIS TABLE

BETWEEN THE CHAIR AND THE COUCH.

OKAY.

OKAY.

OOF.

[SIGHS WITH SATISFACTION]

WHEN SHOULD I GET MY REAL ESTATE LICENSE?

I'D HOLD OFF UNTIL YOU'RE AT LEAST 12.

HI, DADDY.

HEY.

[JULIE GROANS]

UM, DAD, THIS IS JULIE.

JULIE, THIS IS DAD.

YOU'RE HER DAD?

YOU'RE HER TROOP LEADER?

YOU'RE HER DAD...

HAVEN'T THESE KIDS SUFFERED ENOUGH ALREADY?

APPARENTLY NOT.

UM, DO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?

HE DID SOME WORK FOR ME.

SHE GAVE ME A SPLINTER.

HE OVER-CHARGED ME AND WOKE ME UP.

YOU WOKE ME UP TWICE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I'M PUTTING THE FURNITURE BACK.

BUT IT'S FENG SHUI.

DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

YEAH. SURE I DO.

I GUESS I'M JUST USED TO IT THE WAY IT WAS.

CAN WE MOVE THE COUCH BACK AT LEAST?

[WHIMPERS QUIETLY]

NO.

IT'S PERFECT WHERE IT IS,

AND IT COVERS THAT GRAPE JUICE STAIN.

AH, YES.

THE INFAMOUS GRAPE JUICE INCIDENT.

HEY, YOU WERE THE ONE WATCHING THAT GAME.

YEAH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HIGH-FIVE ME RIGHT THEN.

[LAUGHING]

YOU KNOW, THIS HAS TO GO, TOO.

WHY? I LOVE THAT LAMP.

[SCOFFS]

IT DOESN'T EVEN WORK, DAD.

YOU BOUGHT IT THAT WAY.

CAVEAT EMPTOR.

SORRY, WHAT?

"LET THE BUYER BEWARE."

THAT'S WHAT JULIE SAYS.

OH.

YES, I SAID IT, NOT ABOUT YOUR LAMP.

DAD, LOOK AT WHAT I MADE.

AND...

I EARNED MY BADGE!

OH, THAT IS GREAT, HONEY.

NICE WORK.

THANKS.

JULIE TOOK US TO THE CRAFTS STORE

AND OUT FOR DINNER.

A DAIRY-FREE RESTAURANT--

MATTIE'S LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

HMM. HOW VERY THOUGHTFUL.

WHAT DO I OWE YOU?

NOTHING.

NO, I INSIST.

NO, IT'S FINE, THANK YOU.

UM, DAD, MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER.

I MEAN, SHE HAS NO BOYFRIEND OR FUTURE PROSPECTS.

UM...

I'M REALLY BUSY.

OH.

I HAVE TO GO.

LET ME GET THE DOOR.

NO, WAIT!

UM, JULIE, YOU NEED TO GET THE SUPPLIES

FOR THE RIVER CLEAN-UP.

RIGHT.

RIGHT. IT'S IN THE GARAGE.

I'LL GET IT.

THANK YOU.

[CHUCKLING]

[FROM OUTSIDE]: I HEARD THAT.

I GOT IT FROM HERE.

CAN WE STOP FOR A BREAK?

WE JUST LEFT THE PARKING LOT.

I CAN'T HELP IT. I'M HUNGRY!

ARE YOU?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN EMOTIONAL EATER.

HERE.

HEY, THESE ARE MINE.

DID YOU PICKPOCKET ME AGAIN?

YOU'RE AN EASY MARK.

YOU ATE ONE!

IT WAS LEMON.

YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE LEMON.

COME ON, JULIE.

[HAZEL HILLBURN]: CHOP, CHOP, MONARCHS!

THIS BEACH ISN'T GOING TO CLEAN ITSELF.

WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

[CHUCKLES]

BE CAREFUL.

GOT IT?

OH, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT STOPPING HERE.

WHOA!

JULIE!

I'M FINE.

I'M OKAY.

I'M FINE, I'M TOTALLY FINE.

[CHUCKLING]

YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOUR FRENCH COFFEE PRESS.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FAST FOOD PLACE

1.2 MILES DOWN THE HILL, SEVEN DEGREES NORTHWEST.

WHY DON'T YOU GET THEM SOME BURGERS AND FRIES

AND LEAVE THIS ECO-CHALLENGE UP TO THE PROS, HMM?

I THINK WE'LL MANAGE.

[LAUGHS]

MANAGING ISN'T GOING TO CUT IT

OUT HERE, STERLING.

IT'S WILLPOWER, IT'S COURAGE,

IT'S GUTTING IT OUT THAT EXTRA MILE.

LOOK AT MY GIRLS,

THEY CAN SURVIVE IN THE WILDERNESS FOR A WEEK

ON A THIMBLE OF WATER AND A PINECONE.

EW.

MONARCHS!

LET'S SEPARATE THOSE RECYCLABLES!

COME ON, JULIE.

I'M COMING!

WELL...

WE'RE MONARCH ADJACENT.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

WHAT IS THAT?

A METAL DETECTOR.

LAST TIME I CAME HERE,

I FOUND $6.00 AND A NOSE RING.

THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY

FOR US TO EARN OUR CAMPING BADGES.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, PARIS?

IS IT AN ANIMAL?

THERE'S A BOY SCOUT TROOP OVER THERE.

DO I LOOK OKAY?

I DON'T THINK THEY CAN SEE US FROM THERE.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DAX COHEN IS IN THAT TROOP.

HE'S THE WHOLE REASON I BECAME A GIRL SCOUT--

SO WE'D HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

YES, HE DOES!

HE JUST HAS ADD AND ADHD.

WE'LL NEVER BE LIKE THEM.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?

BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE REAL GIRL SCOUTS.

THEY'RE EVEN BETTER AT PICKING UP TRASH.

I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING IN THE CAR

THAT MIGHT HELP.

I'LL, UH... [CELL PHONE RINGS]

OH!

PAIGE?

PAIGE, HI!

WHAT?

HANG ON, I HAVE A BAD CONNECTION.

JUST A SEC.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

TELL THEM I'M AWAY FROM MY DESK.

TELL THEM I'M AWAY FROM MY DESK!

THAT'S NOT A--

NO, NO, NO, TELL THEM THAT...

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

HOLD ON! CAN YOU HEAR ME?

CAN YOU HEAR ME--

[SCREAMS]

[SPLUTTERING]

I'M FINE.

OH, PAIGE, YES!

TELL THEM TO RESCHEDULE.

WHY ARE YOU USING A STRAW?

OH, I JUST HAD MY TEETH WHITENED.

FOR YOUR CLIENTS?

WHITE TEETH SELL HOUSES.

JULIE, WHEN WAS YOUR LAST MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP?

WHAT?

YOU HEARD HER.

UH, I DON'T KNOW, THREE YEARS AGO.

AND HOW LONG DID THAT LAST?

OH...

THREE MONTHS.

WHEN YOU'RE IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP,

THREE MONTHS CAN SEEM LIKE FOUR MONTHS.

OKAY, LET'S FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE.

LIKE WHAT?

ANYTHING ELSE.

WE COULD RECITE THE GIRL SCOUT PROMISE.

"I PROMISE--

OR WE COULD LAY DOWN IN POISON OAK.

I'M STARVING.

SHOCKER.

THERE'S ONE FOR YOU.

THESE LOOK GOOD.

WHERE'D YOU GET THESE?

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL.

YOU STOLE OUR FOOD?

NO, I TOLD YOU I HAVE A SANDWICH CONNECTION.

WHY DON'T WE BUILD A FIRE?

I CAN DO THAT.

EVER MADE A FIRE WITHOUT MATCHES?

WE DON'T GET TO USE MATCHES?

[CHUCKLES]

NO.

IT WORKED WHEN I WAS A VIRTUAL GIRL SCOUT.

YOU MEAN, ON YOUR COMPUTER?

LOOK AT THEIR FIRE.

IT'S SO PROFESSIONAL.

COME ON, DAISY.

[CHUCKLING AND CHATTING]

SOMETHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU?

THOSE ARE OURS.

WE FOUND THEM ON THE BEACH.

WE PUT THEM DOWN TO TAKE A BREAK.

AND WE PICKED THEM UP TO AVOID LITTERING.

HOW THOUGHTFUL.

"TAKE ONLY PICTURES, LEAVE ONLY FOOTPRINTS."

EXCUSE ME.

THANK YOU.

[CHEERING]

THANKS, JULIE.

OKAY.

AT LEAST WE CAN MAKE OUR S'MORES NOW, RIGHT?

NO ONE CAN BEAT US AT THAT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

OH. OH WAIT, I, UH...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS.

BUT YOU FORGOT THE MARSHMALLOWS.

NO MARSHMALLOWS?

SERIOUSLY?

COME ON, REALLY?

WELL, I HAD IT ON MY LIST, I...

I JUST FORGOT.

I'M SORRY.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.

YEAH, WE'LL BE RIGHT HERE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.

PAIGE?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

HANG ON.

YOU CAN HEAR ME NOW?

OKAY, YES.

TELL THEM THAT WE'RE GOING TO SETTLE IT IN ESCROW.

UH-HUH. RIGHT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT I COULD DO THIS.

I'M SO STUPID.

[SIGHING SADLY]

DAX COHEN DOESN'T KNOW I EXIST,

AND HE'S MET ME, LIKE, SEVEN TIMES.

THAT'S THE ADD-ADHD.

NO, IT'S NOT.

I'M FORGETTABLE, RIGHT?

I GUESS WE ALL ARE.

I DIDN'T STEAL THOSE SANDWICHES.

MY GRANDMA MADE THEM.

WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT THAT?

I MIGHT BE GOING INTO FOSTER CARE.

[EVERYONE, SHOCKED]: WHAT?

GRAMS GOT BEHIND ON HER PAYMENTS

WHEN SHE WAS SICK.

THE BANK'S FORECLOSING,

SO...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE?

I DON'T KNOW.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

O-M-G.

SHE'S GOING ROGUE.

WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?

WELL, THOSE GIRLS BACK THERE

ARE FEELING PRETTY BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES,

AND I THINK THEY COULD USE A LITTLE LIFT.

WELL, HOW ABOUT AN AIRLIFT?

BRING IN THE HELICOPTERS!

[CHUCKLING]

I WAS HOPING WE COULD BORROW A BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS.

-NO. -NO?

IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

THERE'S A MARSHMALLOW RULE?

EACH TROOP SHOULD BE SELF-RELIANT.

I'LL GIVE YOU $100 FOR A BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS.

-NO. -$200.

NO.

THIS ISN'T THE NORDSTROM RACK, STERLING.

FUNNY, I'D ASSUMED

THE ONE SKILL YOUR LITTLE MISFITS HAD

WAS EATING MARSHMALLOWS,

BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

SO, I SUGGEST

THAT YOU ROUND UP GINGER AND PORKY,

FONZY, SNOOKI, AND LITTLE CAMPFIRE BARBIE HERE,

AND TAKE THEM SOMEWHERE

WHERE THEY MIGHT FIT IN,

LIKE I DON'T KNOW, A COMPUTER LAB

OR A DRIVE-THRU?

CONTINUING THIS CHARADE

WILL ONLY MAKE THEM FEEL MORE LIKE LOSERS.

OKAY, I'M NO EXPERT,

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THERE ARE NO LOSERS IN GIRL SCOUTS,

SO IF YOU WANT TO PUT ME DOWN, BE MY GUEST,

BUT DON'T GO AFTER MY GIRLS.

YOUR GIRLS?

YOU'VE BEEN LEADING A TROOP, FOR WHAT, FIVE MINUTES?

LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW

THAT YOU AND YOUR MERRY BAND OF ROBO-SCOUTS

HAVE INTIMIDATED US FOR THE LAST TIME.

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?

ALL I'M SAYING IS "BE PREPARED."

OH, I AM PREPARED.

YOU BE PREPARED.

THE COOKIE SALE'S COMING. HUH?

BRING. IT. ON.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, GOOD NEWS.

THIS TROOP'S REPUTATION IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

AS WE ALL KNOW,

THE COOKIE SALE OFFICIALLY STARTS NEXT WEEK.

HERE ARE YOUR SALES PROJECTIONS.

BY THE TIME WE'RE DONE,

THERE'S GOING TO BE A RUN ON THIN MINTS

LIKE THIS TOWN HAS NEVER SEEN.

THE FIREFLIES WILL BE NUMBER ONE,

AND YOU'LL ALL RIDE IN THE ROSE PARADE.

WHAT DO WE DO TO HELP?

OH, NO, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

JULIE!

CAN I COUNT ON YOU FOR SOME BILLBOARDS?

YEAH, SOUTH-FACING, 20 BY 20, I NEED IT FOR 30 DAYS.

GREAT. DINNER'S ON ME.

SO, ARE WE A GO ON THE LOUDSPEAKERS?

OH, YOU'RE THE BEST.

YEAH, LUNCH IS ON ME.

[LAUGHING] OKAY...

JOHN, DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE?

YEAH, I NEED TWO 15-SECOND RADIO PROMOS, TWICE A DAY.

PERFECT.

BREAKFAST IS ON ME.

HAZEL HILLBURN MAY KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE ON A PINECONE--

BUT I KNOW HOW TO CLOSE A DEAL.

[GASPS]

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

DAISY...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?

WE HAD A KILLER DAY.

YOU HAD A KILLER DAY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU DID EVERYTHING.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH OUR OWN BUSINESS PLANS.

IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

[SIGHS]

[DIALING]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

DID I WAKE YOU?

IT'S ONLY 10:00.

MY BEDTIME'S NOT FOR ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF.

HEY.

HEY.

THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS.

YOU NEED A HANDYMAN?

I NEED A PARENT.

AND I'M THE ONLY PARENT YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE THE ONLY PARENT

I'M NOT TRYING TO SELL A HOUSE TO.

RIGHT. COME ON IN.

IS DAISY ASLEEP?

LONG AGO.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?

OH, JUST WATER IS FINE.

I SCREWED UP WITH THE KIDS TODAY.

JUST TODAY?

OH, FUNNY.

I'M SURE IT CAN'T BE WORSE

THAN SOME OF THE THINGS I'VE DONE.

TELL ME SOME OF THE THINGS YOU'VE DONE.

[CHUCKLES] HOW FAR BACK DO YOU WANT ME TO GO?

YESTERDAY?

OKAY.

YESTERDAY MORNING, I EMBARRASSED THE KID

BY HOLDING HER HAND WHILE CROSSING THE STREET.

THEN I FORGOT ABOUT THE CARPOOL.

AND THEN YESTERDAY NIGHT,

I USED HER HOMEWORK

TO CLEAN UP SPAGHETTI FROM THE MICROWAVE.

YOU MICROWAVE SPAGHETTI?

DOESN'T EVERYONE?

OKAY, SO, WHAT DID YOU DO?

YOU KNOW THAT SAYING THAT THERE'S NO "I" IN "TEAM"?

THERE'S AN "I" IN "TEAM, AND IT'S ME..

AH, YOU'RE NOT A TEAM PLAYER.

I'M NOT A TEAM PLAYER.

I'M...

A BALL HOG?

[LAUGHS] OKAY.

I GUESS IT'S JUST BEEN A WHILE

SINCE I'VE HAD TO THINK ABOUT ANYBODY OTHER THAN MYSELF.

WELL, YOU'VE BEEN FOCUSED ON CAREER.

AND FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT IT.

I'M BAD AT EVERYTHING ELSE.

MY LAST RELATIONSHIP,

HE LEFT ME BECAUSE I WORKED TOO MUCH.

THAT'S NOT SO BAD.

IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO NOTICE HE WAS GONE.

OKAY, THAT'S BAD.

YEAH.

OKAY, JUST SO I'M CLEAR,

ARE YOU HERE BECAUSE

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE,

OR PARENTING ADVICE?

BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU,

IF IT'S PARENTING ADVICE,

MY WIFE DID MOST OF THE DECISION-MAKING

WHEN IT CAME TO DAISY.

YOU SEEM LIKE A PRETTY GOOD DAD.

[CHUCKLES SHYLY] THANK YOU.

BUT I HAVE MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES.

THE TRUTH IS, I'M NOT EVEN SURE

IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO COME DOWN HERE.

A FRESH START IS A GOOD THING.

I THOUGHT SO,

BUT IT'S BEEN MORE LIKE STARTING OVER.

LIKE, I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN A HANDYMAN.

I, UM, I HAD A CONSTRUCTION COMPANY

BACK IN ALASKA,

I'M HOPING TO GET IT STARTED HERE.

I'M SURE YOU WILL.

YEAH.

IT'S GETTING LATE.

THANK YOU FOR THIS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

LISTEN, JULIE...

JUST... BE HONEST WITH THEM.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

THANK YOU ALL

FOR ATTENDING THIS EMERGENCY MEETING.

IT'S COOL.

I OWE YOU ALL AN APOLOGY.

IN FACT, I CAN THINK OF

A LONG LIST OF MISTAKES I'VE MADE

IN THE PAST 32 DAYS.

31 DAYS.

BUT THE BIGGEST MISTAKE THAT I MADE

WAS CALLING YOU "FIXER-UPPERS."

YOU DON'T NEED FIXING UP.

YOU'RE ALL ORIGINALS.

IN FACT, IF ANYONE NEEDS WORK, IT'S ME.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE SKEPTICAL.

SO I BROUGHT THIS.

THAT'S YOU?

SEVENTH GRADE.

NOT EXACTLY MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED.

I WORKED REALLY HARD

TO FORGET THAT GIRL IN THAT PHOTOGRAPH.

MAYBE TOO HARD,

BECAUSE THERE WAS A LOT ABOUT HER THAT WAS GOOD.

NOW...

ACCORDING TO MARKET RESEARCH,

THE REASON PEOPLE DON'T BUY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

IS BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ASKED,

SO WE NEED EXPOSURE.

KIND OF LIKE AN OPEN HOUSE.

YES, BUT IN REVERSE.

WE GO TO THEIR NEIGHBORHOODS.

WE SHOW THEM WHAT A COOKIE CAN DO.

BECAUSE THE VALUE OF A COOKIE

IS GREATER THAN WHAT'S IN THE BOX, RIGHT?

SO, WE KNOW OUR BUYERS, WE SEEK THEM OUT,

AND WE DON'T STOP

UNTIL WE HAVE A COOKIE IN EVERY MOUTH.

THERE'S A GIRL SCOUT COOKIE LOCATOR APP.

I'LL GET US ON IT, ASAP.

EXCELLENT.

I'LL BE ESCROW.

A LOT OF CASH IS GOING TO BE CHANGING HANDS.

I'LL MAKE SURE IT'S SAFE.

THAT WORKS FOR ME.

IT DOES?

IT DOES.

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

I CAN ASK THE BOY SCOUTS TO BUY COOKIES.

I'M LISTENING.

WELL, IF THEY BUY OUR COOKIES NOW,

WE'LL BUY THEIR TREES AT CHRISTMAS.

GOOD BUSINESS SKILLS.

I'M ALL OVER IT.

UM, JULIE?

MATTIE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT SHE CAN DO TO HELP.

YOU'RE GOING TO FIND YOUR VOICE, MATTIE,

WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

OH, EMMA...

OH, NO, THAT'S TROY.

TO BE CONTINUED.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS.

WE KNOW THE DRILL.

NO! UH, CHANGE OF PLANS.

I WANT YOU WITH ME ON THE FRONT LINES.

BUT THIS IS TROY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?

I THINK WE CAN SUCK IT UP.

TO THE DEN?

TROY, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

AW, WHAT AM I DOING HERE, JULIE?

I CANCELED A MEETING FOR THIS?

OKAY, I KNOW THAT YOU THINK

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT.

I USED TO THINK I DID, TOO.

DO YOU THINK THAT I WANTED TO RUN A GIRL SCOUT TROOP?

I WOULD HAVE RATHER EATEN SHARDS OF GLASS

THAN SPEND EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT

WITH THOSE ANNOYING, STICKY, SHORT PEOPLE.

YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU FIND ME SOMETHING ELSE, OR I FIND MYSELF A NEW BROKER.

GIVE ME TWO MINUTES,

IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, FIRE ME.

TWO MINUTES.

THIS HOUSE IS A BLANK SLATE.

YOU CAN TURN THIS INTO YOUR DREAM HOUSE.

THE LOT IS TWICE AS BIG AND HALF THE PRICE

OF THE OTHER PROPERTIES.

LEVEL GROUND IS PERFECT FOR A SWIMMING POOL

AND GUEST HOUSE,

AND YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF CASH LEFT OVER

FOR YOUR SUBZERO APPLIANCES, YOUR BOSE SOUND SYSTEM,

AND YOUR RECORDING STUDIO.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, THIS HOUSE HAS GOOD BONES.

60 SECONDS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T NEED ANOTHER MINUTE.

I DID SOME RESEARCH,

AND THIS HOUSE HAS SOMETHING MONEY CAN'T BUY.

IT HAS A HISTORY.

BOB DYLAN STAYED HERE?

YEAH, SUMMER OF '63.

WELL, THAT'S RIGHT BEFORE HE RECORDED

"THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN."

MM-HMM.

SHOW ME THE MASTER BEDROOM.

IT'S RIGHT UP HERE.

OKAY, SO, IF THIS IS A PARTY, THEN WE NEED PIZZA.

YES.

I'LL HANDLE IT.

-EXTRA PEPPERONI? -WHY NOT?

-CAN WE INVITE BOYS? -NO.

AW...

UM... JULIE?

DID YOU REALLY MEAN WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT US TO TROY?

OH... YOU MEAN ABOUT BEING ANNOYING, STICKY, SHORT PEOPLE?

OKAY, WHAT I MEANT--

BEFORE THE MOZZARELLA STARTS FLYING,

I BELIEVE WE HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

OH, WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

OUR CUT.

YOUR CUT?

WELL, YEAH, YOU MADE THE SALE.

OKAY, LET'S TALK AFTER CLOSING.

IS THAT A 30- OR 60-DAY ESCROW?

[LAUGHS]

TEACHING THEM HOW TO SURVIVE IN THE WILD, I SEE.

DAD...

ONLY ONE MORE HOUSE, AND JULIE'S NUMBER ONE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

TO JULIE.

[EVERYONE]: TO JULIE.

TO JULIE.

THANK YOU.

MM!

SO...

IS IT FINISHED?

COME HAVE A LOOK.

IS WHAT FINISHED?

[WHISPERING] LOOK OUT!

WAIT--

GO!

[WHISPERING] GUYS, SHH!

BE QUIET!

GUYS, STOP PUSHING!

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

BUT?

NO "BUTS."

ALTHOUGH--

AND HERE IT COMES.

THE NAVAJO WHITE.

DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD HAVE GONE GREEN?

THE COOKIE BOXES ARE GREEN.

RED?

NO, I WOULDN'T DO RED.

I MEAN, I CAN BLING IT UP A LITTLE IF YOU WANT.

I COULD DO, LIKE, A DIAMOND THINGIE,

AND A TIARA ON THE TOP...

WELL, MAYBE LESS IS MORE.

YEAH.

OH, THERE IS ONE OTHER THING.

AND THERE IT IS.

TROY WANTS TO REDO HIS HOUSE,

AND HE'S LOOKING FOR A CONTRACTOR.

I RECOMMENDED YOU.

YOU DID?

WELL, YOU BUILD HOUSES, RIGHT?

[KNOCKING]

ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

UH, WHEN CAN YOU START?

YESTERDAY.

WELL, HERE'S HIS CARD. GIVE HIM A CALL.

HE'S EXPECTING IT.

AND DON'T LOW-BALL YOUR BID.

HE CAN AFFORD IT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, JULIE.

I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.

WELL, I APPRECIATE YOU

ALLOWING ME TO EMBARRASS MYSELF THE OTHER NIGHT.

THAT WAS MY PLEASURE.

I'M SURE IT WAS.

ESPECIALLY THE PART

WHERE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS GONE

FOR THREE DAYS.

YOU KNOW, I WASN'T TOTALLY HONEST ABOUT THAT.

IT WAS FIVE DAYS.

WELL, AT LEAST IT WASN'T A WEEK.

[LAUGHS]

[GROANS]

YOU KNOW, DAISY TALKS ABOUT YOU A LOT.

SHE DOES?

MM-HMM. SHE LOOKS UP TO YOU.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

NO, NO, DON'T BE.

SHE'S A GREAT GIRL.

YEAH, SHE IS. THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

IT'S PRETTY HARD NOT TO.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

OH, UM, I SHOULD TAKE THIS.

OF COURSE.

SORRY.

HEY, PAIGE.

NO, NO, I'M FREE.

[FRANK]: DO THEY LIKE EACH OTHER

OR HATE EACH OTHER?

I DON'T KNOW.

PARIS?

THERE'S CLEARLY CHEMISTRY,

BUT THEIR BODY LANGUAGE IS ALL OVER THE MAP.

IT COULD GO EITHER WAY.

[ALL SIGHING HOPEFULLY]

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, REMEMBER, KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER.

IF WE STICK TOGETHER,

THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP US, RIGHT?

YEAH.

THE GLOW FROM ONE FIREFLY ISN'T MUCH,

BUT A BUNCH OF FIREFLIES MAKES A PRETTY BRIGHT LIGHT.

YEAH.

OKAY!

LET'S SELL SOME COOKIES!

SELL SOME COOKIES!

COME ON, GUYS.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

GET YOUR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

TROOP 114! THE FIREFLIES!

THANK YOU.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! GIRL SCOUTS!

[ALL SHOUTING AND HAWKING]

SUPPORT THE FIREFLIES...

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, GIRLS, OKAY?

HAZEL? HI.

WE RESERVED THIS STREET ONLINE.

DID YOU? THAT'S ODD.

YOUR NAME WASN'T ON THE SIGN-UP SHEET.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DELETED.

CHOP CHOP, MONARCHS.

IN APPROXIMATELY TWO MINUTES, THESE STORES WILL OPEN.

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ONE SHOPPER GO BY THIS BOOTH

WITHOUT BUYING A BOX OF COOKIES.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

GOOD.

JULIE, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

MAGIC MARKER, STAT!

OKAY.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

BUY TEN BOXES, GET ONE FREE!

[HAWKING EXCITEDLY]

...GET ONE FREE!

HEY, THERE'S A BETTER DEAL OVER HERE.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, BUY EIGHT BOXES, GET ONE FREE!

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES,

BUY SIX BOXES, GET ONE FREE!

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

[GIRLS SHOUTING AND HAGGLING]

BUY SIX BOXES, GET ONE FREE!

BUY SIX BOXES, GET ONE FREE,

AND A FREE CAR WASH!

WHOA.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

BUY SIX BOXES, GET ONE FREE,

AND FREE...

BABYSITTING!

[CROWD MURMURING IN EXCITEMENT]

OH, IT'S ON.

[SHOUTING AND HAWKING EXCITEDLY]

THEY'RE CATCHING US.

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, LADIES!

WHO ARE WE?

[GLUMLY] MONARCHS.

OH, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

[WITH FORCED ENTHUSIASM] MONARCHS!

ONE, TWO, THREE!

MONARCHS!

BETTER.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

YOU GOT THE JOB?

I GOT THE JOB.

THAT'S GREAT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, JULIE.

I REALLY MEAN THAT.

IT WAS NOTHING.

NO, NO, IT WAS SOMETHING.

I JUST HOPE I CAN LIVE UP TO YOUR HYPE.

OH, YOU CAN.

ALTHOUGH IN CASE IT COMES UP IN CONVERSATION,

YOU BUILT A HIGH RISE IN NOME.

YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

YES. I'M JOKING.

GOOD.

BECAUSE THERE ARE NO HIGH RISES IN NOME,

ONLY IGLOOS.

REALLY?

NO.

OH.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IGLOOS,

I WAS THINKING THAT COULD BE A WHOLE NEW MARKET FOR ME.

YEAH, WELL, THEY TEND TO GO FAST. AS IN--

-MELT? -MELT .

[LAUGHING]

YOU KNOW, IT TURNS OUT

I KIND OF LIKE WHAT YOU DID WITH MY LIVING ROOM,

SO I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD COME

AND FENG-SHUI THE REST OF THE PLACE?

SO YOU LIKE MY FENG-SHUI?

APPARENTLY, I DO.

HERE'S YOUR COOKIES.

CAVEAT EMPTOR.

OH, NO, NO, NO, DON'T SAY THAT.

BUT I THOUGHT--

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

YEAH, WHERE ARE MY COOKIES? WE'RE RUNNING ON FUMES HERE.

COOKIES! GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

OH, HERE HE IS.

HI!

THANKS SO MUCH.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

THEY'RE DELICIOUS!

SMILES, THIN MINTS, LOTS OF VARIETY!

♪ GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! ♪

♪ GET YOUR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES HERE! ♪

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

IT'S OUR 100th ANNIVERSARY.

OH, IT'S YOUR ANNIVERSARY, TOO.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE

THAN WITH GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, RIGHT?

CAN I COUNT YOU IN FOR 10 BOXES?

WHOA, DON'T HANG UP ON ME, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

YEAH. I THOUGHT SO.

FIVE BOXES IS MORE THAN GENEROUS.

SAMOAS ARE MY PERSONAL FAVORITES.

LOLA!

I GOT YOUR EMAIL?

UH, I DIDN'T SEND YOU AN EMAIL.

OH, JULIE, I SENT OUT A MASS EMAIL

TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.

WELL, THAT SHOWS

REAL LEADERSHIP, YOUNG LADY.

LOOKS LIKE TROOP 114 IS REALLY SHAPING UP.

I'M IN CHARGE OF THE MONEY.

THE TROOP MUST REALLY TRUST YOU.

THIS IS TERRIFIC,

SEEING YOU ALL WORKING TOGETHER.

YOU KNOW, I STILL TALK TO THE GIRLS FROM MY OLD TROOP

ALL THE TIME.

SAMANTHA IS AN ASSEMBLYWOMAN.

JENNIFER WAS AN ASTRONAUT

WITH NASA.

WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE.

SO, LIKE, 100 YEARS?

NOT QUITE THAT LONG.

OKAY, THIS IS ALL VERY INTERESTING,

BUT ARE YOU GOING TO BUY COOKIES OR WHAT?

BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE BACKED-UP HERE.

OF COURSE, I'M GOING TO BUY COOKIES.

THIS IS EMMA. YOU WANT TO BUY COOKIES?

OH, YOU WANT TO BUY A HOUSE.

PLEASE HOLD.

JULIE, LINE 6!

CLIENT LOOKING TO BUY A 3 PLUS 2 WITH A VIEW!

UH, JULIE STIRLING,

EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS TO SOLD.

SURE, LET ME GET SOME INFORMATION.

OH, UH...

YOU'RE EARLY.

DAISY'S JUST FINISHING UP HER PLEDGE FORMS.

YEAH, I KNOW, SHE TEXTED ME.

OH.

CAPPUCCINO?

THANK YOU.

MM!

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY COOKIES I'VE EATEN

IN THE PAST FEW DAYS?

NO, BUT I AM WELL INTO MY DOUBLEDIGITS.

HOW DO WE GET MORE

WHEN THE COOKIE SALE'S OVER?

WE HOARD.

OH, I LIKE THAT.

MM-HMM, I'VE GOT EXTRA SPACE IN MY GARAGE

IF YOU NEED IT.

THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.

WELL, SPLIT IT.

IN YOUR DREAMS.

OH, COME ON.

THERE IS AN "I" IN "COOKIE."

BALL HOG.

[LAUGHING]

ALL RIGHT, WELL, THERE IS ALSO AN "I" IN DINNER.

AS IN YOU, ME,

TOMORROW?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER THAT?

UH, NO.

NO?

I MEAN, YES.

YES?

UH, TO DINNER.

GOOD.

[DAISY CLEARING THROAT]

THERE SHE IS.

WHAT WERE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

-COOKIES. -DINNER.

AH, A DATE.

YOU KNOW, I NEED TO GET GOING.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW?

BYE.

OKAY.

BYE.

[SIGHS HAPPILY]

THIS IS GOING REALLY WELL, DON'T YOU THINK?

WHAT'S GOING REALLY WELL?

YOU, JULIE, ME.

OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND,

WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD DINNER YET.

I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED--

NOT RIGHT AWAY, ANYWAY.

AND LISTEN,

WHEN YOU TAKE HER TO DINNER,

DON'T TAKE HER TO THAT MICHAEL'S PLACE.

SHE TAKES HER CLIENTS THERE, AND IT'S WAY OVER-RATED.

PLUS, THEIR BOOTHS ARE PLEATHER.

OKAY.

-SHE HATES PLEATHER. -RIGHT.

OH, AND, DAD,

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T TELL HER

ANY OF THOSE LAME JOKES, OKAY?

THAT'LL JUST TURN HER RIGHT OFF.

I DON'T HAVE ANY LAME JOKES--

FIREFLIES! TROOP 114!

THE MONARCHS AND FIREFLIES ARE DEAD EVEN!

WE'RE DOING GOOD, GUYS!

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

WE'RE NECK AND NECK.

WORK HARDER, GIRLS.

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

FIREFLIES!

JULIE!

YOU'RE STILL HERE?

I TOLD THE BROWNS YOU'D BE SHOWING THE HOUSE.

OH...

WELL, YOU DO IT.

WHAT?

YEAH, YOU CAN HANDLE IT.

YEAH, BUT I MEAN, THEY'RE EXPECTING YOU.

WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THEM?

JUST TELL THEM THE TRUTH,

THAT I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.

ANYWAY, YOU DON'T NEED ME THERE.

YOU KNOW EVERYTHING I KNOW.

WE'RE A TEAM.

COOKIES! GET YOUR COOKIES!

ALL RIGHT, LADIES, SHOW 'EM WHAT YOU GOT.

[STARTS MUSIC PLAYBACK]

♪ FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! ♪

♪ GIRL SCOUTS IGNITE A DREAM ♪

STRAIGHTER LEGS, GIRLS, STRAIGHTER LEGS.

HEADS UP, HEADS UP...

♪ ...THE WORLD ON FIRE ♪

♪ STARTS WITH A SPARK ♪

♪ A FLAME IN YOUR HEART ♪

♪ UNTIL THE WORLD'S BURNING BRIGHT ♪

♪ WE'LL IGNITE! ♪

THEY'RE GOOD.

BUT WE'RE BETTER.

MATTIE?

FRANK...

GO GET 'EM, MATTIE.

[SHYLY] OKAY.

[NEW MUSIC PLAYBACK STARTS]

♪ CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WE'VE COME THIS FAR? ♪

♪ WE REALLY ARE ON OUR WAY ♪

♪ TO BECOMING ♪

♪ TO BELIEVING TO BE LIVING THE DREAM ♪

♪ DREAMED A HUNDRED YEARS AGO TODAY! ♪

HEY, WHOA.

HEY, NO, COME BACK!

FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!

GIRL SCOUTS!

♪ IGNITE A DREAM ♪

♪ IGNITE YOUR HOPE ♪

♪ IGNITE THE WORLD ON FIRE IT'S LOVE! ♪

♪ STARTS WITH A SPARK... ♪

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! HEY, LADY--

♪ ...A FLAME IN YOUR HEART ♪

♪ UNTIL THE WORLD'S BURNING BRIGHT ♪

♪ WE'LL IGNITE! ♪

[SCOUTS CHANT]: I-G-N-I-T-E!

GIRL SCOUTS!

♪ I-G-N-I-T-E! ♪

GIRL SCOUTS!

♪ IT'S A SPARK IT'S A LIGHT, YEAH ♪

♪ GET ON YOUR FEET ♪

♪ TURN UP THE HEAT ♪

♪ MAKE IT FULL ♪

♪ MAKE IT EXCITING ♪

♪ IMAGINATION, INSPIRATION ♪

♪ BRING IT TO THE WORLD ♪

♪ IGNITE! ♪

♪ IGNITE A DREAM ♪

♪ IGNITE YOUR HEART ♪

♪ IGNITE THE WORLD ON FIRE ♪

♪ IT'S LOVE ♪

♪ IT STARTS WITH A SPARK ♪

♪ A FLAME IN YOUR HEART ♪

♪ UNTIL THE WORLD'S BURNING BRIGHT, WE'LL IGNITE ♪

I-G-N-I-T-E!

GIRL SCOUTS!

I-G-N-I-T-E!

GIRL SCOUTS!

[FINISHES ON A TRIUMPHANT NOTE]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

YOU DID IT!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

SO PROUD OF YOU!

HEY, TROY.

DO I KNOW YOU?

ONION DIP,

$2000 PAIR OF PANTS?

RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

SO, HOW MANY COOKIES ARE YOU DOWN FOR?

EXCUSE ME?

COOKIES.

DO-SI-DOS, THIN MINTS, SAVANNAHS.

YOU LOOK LIKE A TAGALONG GUY.

I'LL TAKE ONE OF EACH.

JUST ONE?

ALL RIGHT, FINE, YOU KNOW, I'LL TAKE THREE OF EACH.

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

ALL RIGHT.

I LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

TROY, I LOVE YOUR MUSIC.

RIGHT, RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.

WHOA, WAIT, WHOA.

HEY!

GIRL SCOUT.

HAVE ONE OF YOUR PARENTAL UNITS CALL ME

IN A COUPLE YEARS.

OH, MY... GOD!

[SQUEALING WITH GLEE]

JULIE, I AM SO SORRY.

I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH RESTAGING AND SHE'S ALREADY HERE.

IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

OKAY.

ERICA?

HI.

OH, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

I LOOK LIKE A WHALE,

AND I DON'T NEED A SALES PITCH,

BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING WE LIKE.

I THINK YOU WERE RIGHT,

WITH JUST A LITTLE BABY-PROOFING,

THIS COULD BE THE PERFECT FAMILY HOME.

REALLY?

MM-HMM.

I THINK WE'D LIKE TO MAKE AN OFFER.

JUST AS SOON AS I GET BACK FROM THE BATHROOM.

THAT'S IT--YOU DID IT!

YOU'RE REALTOR OF THE YEAR!

WHAT'S WRONG?

JULIE, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING FOREVER FOR THIS.

I KNOW, IT...

IT'S JUST THIS HOUSE, IT ISN'T RIGHT FOR THEM.

SO?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SHE HAS HER CHECKBOOK READY.

OKAY--

ERICA,

I CAN'T LET YOU BUY THIS HOUSE.

-WHAT? -WHAT?

THIS HOUSE ISN'T FAMILY-FRIENDLY.

IN FACT, THIS IS THE LEAST FAMILY-FRIENDLY HOUSE

I'VE EVER SEEN,

AND THE MINUTE YOUR KID CAN TALK,

HE'S GOING TO SAY HE WANTS TO MOVE.

A-ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULDN'T MAKE AN OFFER?

I'M TELLING YOU THAT I'M SORRY.

SELLING YOU THIS HOUSE

HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU,

AND IT HAD EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

LOOK, IT MIGHT TAKE ME SOME TIME

TO FIND YOU THE PERFECT HOUSE--

I DON'T HAVE TIME.

I PROMISE.

I'M GOING TO FIND YOU THE RIGHT HOUSE,

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IT'S OUT THERE.

IT'S JUST, THIS ISN'T IT.

OKAY.

-OKAY, THANK YOU. -OH!

[WEEPY] THANK YOU.

OKAY. YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU'LL FIND IT.

I PROMISE.

[BREATHING DEEPLY] OKAY.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I GUESS I'M A GIRL SCOUT.

I'M UNREACHABLE UNTIL TOMORROW.

THANKS FOR LETTING US DO THIS HERE.

THEY'RE ANNOUNCING THE WINNING TROOP TONIGHT,

AND THIS PLACE HAS BECOME KIND OF SPECIAL TO US.

[CHUCKLES FONDLY]

PEOPLE THOUGHT WE WERE A TEARDOWN, TOO,

IN THE BEGINNING.

YEAH, I GET THAT.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU CLEAR OUT EARLY.

TOM'S GOT A CREW COMING IN FIRST THING.

[CHUCKLES]

SEE YOU.

BYE.

[YELPS IN ALARM]

DID YOU SEE THAT?

CONGRATS.

YOU'RE NO LONGER A VIRTUAL GIRL SCOUT.

[SQUEALING] WE MADE FIRE!

DID YOU REMEMBER THE MARSHMALLOWS?

MARSHMALLOWS?

WAS I SUPPOSED TO BRING MARSHMALLOWS?

[GROANING IN DISAPPOINTMENT]

[BAG CRINKLES]

[LAUGHING]

COME ON.

DID YOU SEE MY FIRE?

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

SO MUCH BETTER THAN A COMPUTER.

DO YOU HAVE A STICK?

OH, THANK YOU. HERE ARE YOUR MARSHMALLOWS.

THANK YOU.

[SIGHS WITH SATISFACTION]

-ONE FOR YOU. -OH, THANK YOU.

PARIS.

OH, GOOD CATCH.

SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR FRANK?

WHERE IS SHE?

I'VE BEEN TEXTING HER FOR OVER AN HOUR.

SHE PROBABLY STOPPED

TO KNOCK OFF A 7-11.

[CHUCKLING]

YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE I CAN TELL YOU GUYS ANYTHING.

I'VE NEVER HAD FRIENDS LIKE YOU BEFORE.

-ME EITHER. -ME EITHER.

ME EITHER.

ME EITHER.

[THUNDERCLAP RUMBLES OVERHEAD]

[SCREAMING IN ALARM]

GIRLS, GET INSIDE, QUICK!

GO!

[SQUEALING AND LAUGHING]

WE'RE GETTING CLOSER.

OKAY...

GIRLS, I JUST WANT TO SAY,

WIN OR LOSE,

LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME.

WE'RE A REAL TROOP.

RIGHT?

[MONARCH'S COUNT DOWN]: 17, 16, 15,

14, 13, 12, 11...

[FIREFLIES COUNT DOWN]: TEN, NINE...

EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX...

FIVE, FOUR...

THREE, TWO, ONE...

[SCREAMING IN TRIUMPH]

[SQUEALING IN EXCITEMENT]

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. NO! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!

NO...

NO!

NO, NO, NO, NO...

[LAUGHING AND CHEERING]

114 FIREFLIES, I'LL GIVE YOU 114 FIREFLIES...

[LAUGHING IN TRIUMPH]

OH, A TEXT MESSAGE.

IT'S FRANK, IT'S FRANK.

SHH!

FRANK ISN'T COMING.

WHY?

HER GRANDMA'S BEING EVICTED.

I TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TO COME.

WE CAN'T CELEBRATE WITHOUT YOU.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO.

YOU GO WITH YOUR FRIENDS, SWEETIE.

I CAN FINISH PACKING UP.

ACTUALLY,

WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU UNPACK.

WHAT'S THIS?

OUR COOKIE MONEY.

BY OUR CALCULATIONS, IT WILL KEEP YOU IN YOUR HOUSE

FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS,

AND AFTER THAT, WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING ELSE OUT.

OH, GIRLS, I-I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS.

YOU HAVE TO TURN IN THIS MONEY,

OTHERWISE, THERE'S NO ROSE PARADE.

IT'S OVER.

WE KNOW.

WE'LL GO TO THE NEXT CENTENNIAL.

THAT'S IN A HUNDRED YEARS.

SO?

JULIE COULD'VE BEEN THE NUMBER ONE REALTOR,

BUT INSTEAD, SHE'S HERE.

I MEAN, WHEN WE STARTED THIS TROOP,

WE WERE AN ABSOLUTE MESS,

BUT NOW WE'RE A FAMILY.

THERE'S NO POINT TRYING TO TALK THEM OUT OF IT.

THEY'VE ALREADY MADE UP THEIR MINDS.

THANK YOU, GIRLS.

MY FRANCINE MABEL

IS LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL FRIENDS.

[ALL LAUGHING]

FRANCINE MABEL?

THAT NAME DOES NOT LEAVE THIS FRONT DOOR.

WHAT HAPPENS IN GIRL SCOUTS STAYS IN GIRL SCOUTS.

FRANCINE...

[ALL LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING AND GIGGLING]

[MURMURING NERVOUSLY]

I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!

ARE WE THERE YET?

OKAY, WAIT.

-READY? -YEAH.

[TOGETHER]: ONE, TWO, THREE!

[SQUEALING]

IT'S AMAZING!

IT'S SO COOL...

[GIGGLING]

THIS IS AWESOME!

I GOT A GOOD DEAL ON A PLEATHER SOFA.

WE MAY NOT GET TO THE ROSE PARADE,

BUT WE HAVE THIS.

AND IT'S BETTER THAN THEIRS!

[CHEERING]

PLEATHER, WELL, WELL, WELL.

[GIGGLES]

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP WITH THE FENG-SHUI.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

[GIGGLING]

STATUS UPDATE?

THEY'VE DEFINITELY MOVED OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE.

SO "IT'S COMPLICATED"?

IT DOESN'T LOOK COMPLICATED TO ME.

OH...

I GUESS WE SHOULD GET GOING.

OH, NO, WE CAN WAIT.

CONTINUE WITH WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING.

[BOTH STAMMERING]

UH, WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING.

NOTHING. WE'RE...

MM-HMM?

OKAY, LET'S GO.

YEAH.

OKAY, GIRLS, CHOP-CHOP.

GIRLS!

AS A BOARD MEMBER OF YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL,

I WANTED TO CONGRATULATE YOU IN PERSON.

WE HAVE SORT OF AN INTERESTING SITUATION

THAT'S DEVELOPED.

FOR THE PAST 11 COOKIE SALES,

THE MONARCHS HAVE OUTSOLD EVERY TROOP IN THE REGION,

BUT THE PAST YEAR,

A NEW TROOP HAS TAKEN THAT HONOR.

ONE, TWO, THREE--

FIREFLIES!

[LAUGHING]

AS YOU KNOW,

THE TROOP TO TURN IN THE MOST COOKIE MONEY

WINS A TRIP TO THE ROSE PARADE.

HOWEVER,

WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED

THAT THE FIREFLIES HAVE DECIDED NOT TO TURN IN THEIR PROFITS

AND INSTEAD TO DONATE THEM

TO A FELLOW SCOUT IN NEED.

YES! MONARCHS, WE ARE GOING TO THE ROSE PARADE!

[CHEERING]

-ONE, TWO, THREE-- -MONARCHS!

IN BUSINESS,

SELLING A PRODUCT IS THE BOTTOM LINE,

BUT NOT HERE.

SO AFTER DELIBERATING WITH MY FELLOW COUNCIL MEMBERS,

WE'VE DECIDED THAT THE FIREFLIES,

IN THEIR SELFLESS ACT,

HAVE TRULY EMBODIED THE SCOUTING SPIRIT,

FOR WHAT IS MORE IN KEEPING WITH THE GIRL SCOUT WAY,

THAN DOING A GOOD DEED FOR A SISTER SCOUT?

IT IS THE DECISION

OF THIS COUNCIL

THAT THE FIREFLIES WILL GO TO THE ROSE PARADE

AND RIDE IN THE CENTENNIAL FLOAT.

[SQUEALING AND SCREAMING]

[SHOUTING IN PROTEST]

WHAT?

[CHEERING AND SCREAMING]

WAIT A MOMENT.

NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

[SHOUTING AND ARGUING]

[ALL BICKERING AT ONCE]

GIRLS, SIT DOWN! PLEASE!

[WHISTLES SHARPLY]

CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG? WE'RE ALL GIRL SCOUTS!

NO! HOW IS THIS--

[ALL SHOUTING IN PROTEST]

SHH!

SHE'S RIGHT!

THIS ISN'T ABOUT LOSING OR WINNING!

IT'S ABOUT SISTERHOOD.

I PROPOSE THAT THE MONARCHS COME ON THE FLOAT WITH US.

WE CAN GO TOGETHER.

GREAT IDEA. IT'S DONE.

[CHEERING AND SCREAMING]

ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE?

WHAT A GREAT IDEA.

OKAY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS.

JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH WORLD REALTY.

THE MERGER IS A DONE DEAL.

-THAT'S FANTASTIC. -I KNOW.

AND NO SMALL THANKS TO YOU.

OH...

CONGRATULATIONS, FUTURE PARTNER.

THANK YOU.

ALTHOUGH I AM SORRY ABOUT THE REALTOR OF THE YEAR THING.

OH, I'LL GET IT NEXT YEAR.

I DON'T DOUBT IT.

I SUPPOSE

IT HASN'T ESCAPED YOUR ATTENTION

THAT YOUR 90 DAYS ARE UP.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, JULIE.

YOU KNOW, YOU BELIEVED IN THEM.

THAT'S WHAT GIRL SCOUTS ARE ALL ABOUT.

THEY'RE AMAZING GIRLS.

YEAH.

HAZEL...

OH.

[CHUCKLES]

AS ONE VOLUNTEER TO ANOTHER, YOU DID ALL RIGHT, STIRLING.

THANK YOU.

I HEAR YOU'RE STEPPING DOWN.

THIS WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY.

OH, I'M SURE YOUR GIRLS WON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE

FINDING SOMEBODY ELSE.

I MIGHT EVEN INCORPORATE THEM INTO MY TROOP.

A LITTLE WORK, THEY COULD BE MONARCHS.

MONARCHS...

MONARCHS AND PARENTAL CHAPERONES,

FINAL BOARDING!

[LAUGHING]

CHAPERONES, I GUESS THAT'S ME.

YES, I GUESS IT IS.

UM... I'LL CALL YOU FROM THE BUS?

OKAY.

OKAY, GUYS.

GIRLS...

YOU DID IT.

YOU'RE A-LIST.

YOU ARE MONARCHS NOW.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

CHOP CHOP, GIRLS!

-YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE BUS. -OH, COME ON--

HUGS!

I'LL MISS YOU, JULIE.

AW...

HAVE FUN, OKAY?

THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME FIND MY VOICE.

YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL VOICE.

FRANK...

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP THIS ZIPPED UP.

DID YOU PICKPOCKET ME?

JUST WANTED TO SEE IF I STILL HAD IT.

DON'T WORRY, EVERYTHING'S THERE.

[LAUGHS]

HEY.

YOU PROMISE ME

THAT YOU WILL NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU'RE 30.

YOU DO KNOW THAT 40 IS THE NEW 30.

AND 30 IS THE NEW 20,

WHICH MEANS THAT YOU NEED TO GET MARRIED WITHIN FIVE YEARS

OR YOU'LL BE THE NEW 60.

WHAT?

YOU, TOM. TICK TOCK--

GET ON THAT BUS.

I KNOW YOU ALREADY HAVE IT MEMORIZED,

BUT, UH...

IT NEVER HURTS TO "BE PREPARED."

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, JULIE.

CAN'T YOU STAY WITH US?

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

IT'S OKAY, I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY--

BUT WE'RE STILL GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER, RIGHT?

NOT EVERY TUESDAY.

IT WON'T BE THE SAME.

IT WON'T BE THE SAME.

WE LOVE YOU, JULIE!

YOU WERE THE BEST LEADER

WE'VE EVER HAD!

BYE, JULIE!

[ALL SHOUTING GOODBYES AND THANK YOU'S]

[BUS ENGINE STARTS]

BYE, JULIE! WE'LL SEE YOU SOON, OKAY?

WE'LL MISS YOU!

[CHOKING BACK TEARS]

BYE!

I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA REACT LIKE THIS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

BYE! GOODBYE!

SEE YOU SOON! BYE!

I NEED THE DAY OFF WORK.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

WAIT!

I WANT TO COME WITH YOU!

I'M COMING!

WAIT, I'M COMING!

JULIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M COMING WITH YOU!

HOLD UP!

HOLD UP! STOP THE BUS!

HI! I'M GOING TO COME WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT?

-OKAY. -GREAT.

THANK YOU.

ARE THERE ANY FIREFLIES ON THIS BUS?

I KNOW A LEADER, SHE'S LOOKING FOR A TROOP.

SHE'S A LITTLE HIGH-MAINTENANCE, BUT SHE HAS LOTS OF POTENTIAL.

[SQUEALING IN EXCITEMENT]

[SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

UH, CAN WE GET THIS BUS

ON THE ROAD, PLEASE?

[ALL CHATTING EXCITEDLY]

FIREFLIES! FIREFLIES!

[ALL CHANTING TOGETHER] FIREFLIES!

[♪]

♪ FIVE, FOUR THREE, TWO, ONE! ♪

♪ GIRL SCOUTS! ♪

♪ IGNITE A DREAM ♪

♪ IGNITE YOUR HOPE ♪

♪ IGNITE THE WORLD ON FIRE IT'S LOVE! ♪

♪ STARTS WITH A SPARK ♪

♪ A FLAME IN YOUR HEART ♪

♪ UNTIL THE WORLD'S BURNING BRIGHT ♪

♪ WE'LL IGNITE! ♪

[SCOUTS CHANT]: I-G-N-I-T-E!

GIRL SCOUTS!

DAD!

♪ I-G-N-I-T-E! GIRL SCOUTS! ♪

"I WILL DO MY BEST TO BE HONEST AND FAIR,

"FRIENDLY AND CARING, COURAGEOUS AND STRONG,

"AND RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I SAY AND DO,

"AND TO RESPECT MYSELF AND OTHERS,

"RESPECT AUTHORITY,

"USE RESOURCES WISELY,

"MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE,

AND BE A SISTER TO EVERY GIRL SCOUT."

[♪]