Original subtitles

Um, Lord Henry Norton's

come to call on you, madam.

Oh, has he?

I took the liberty of putting him

in your room, seeing as how...

Yeah, all right.

Very sad news, mum.

Yeah, well, we all

have to go sometime, Merriman.

If you ask me, it's a miracle

he beat you to it.

Bottle of wine in my room, if you please.

Yes, mum.

And 4 glasses.

Very good, mum.

Hello, Lord Henry.

My dear Mrs. Trotter. Forgive me.

Oh, come on.

You ain't done nothin' for me to forgive.

Well, I hope not.

Very sad news, eh?

One less in your gallery.

Yeah, and the most important one.

If it hadn't been for him,

I wouldn't be here now.

I'd still be your assistant cook,

Lord Henry.

We were lucky.

The King honored both of us with his friendship.

But it's extraordinary how everyone,

all the people in the street,

are so personally sad.

Yeah, well, he was all of their friend, too.

He was about the finest gentleman I ever

ran up against.

I'm creaking.

Been on me knees across the church in Piccadilly

giving him a bit of a pushup,

not that he needed it.

Bought meself this black dress, too.

I wouldn't have done that for no one else.

Fill them all up, then.

Very good, mum.

Starr? Come in here a minute.

The hall, madam.

Fred will look after the hall.

Take a glass, you two.

Come on.

To the King.

Good-bye and God bless you.

We thought a lot of you.

To the King.

STARR: The King.

Well, come on, you two.

Push off now.

Sit down, Lord Henry.

Oh, thank you.

What's the new bloke like, then?

Hardly know him.

Nice, quiet, respectable married man.

Not likely to patronize this place, then.

Haslemere has wired.

He's coming up today for the funeral.

Yes, I know.

I ain't hardly seen nothing of him

last month or 2,

what, with his hunting and fishing.

Yes, he's been up in Scotland

with me, actually.

That's what I really wanted to talk to you about.

You see, I'm now his only surviving relative.

I mean, near relative.

In loco parentis sort of, don't you know?

Well, I'm getting on a bit,

and Charlie being what he is and that sort of thing.

A family estate...

it's a bit of a responsibility.

So you think he ought to stop

sowing all them wild oats,

start doing a bit of harvesting,

settle down, eh?

Yes.

Well, I can do a lot of things for him.

I don't think I can find him a wife.

No...but I hope I have.

Oh, good.

Very nice girl.

Parents both dead, sadly,

but nice family.

Oh, that's good, then.

I hope they'll be very happy.

Not my concern, is it?

Yes...it is.

How?

I may appear to be rather a silly old buffer,

but I'm very fond of Charlie,

and I know him pretty well,

and I know that there's no one in the world

he admires and respects

as much as you, Mrs. Trotter.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Well, we'll have to see, won't we?

I won't muck it up if I think

they'll be happy.

Is he, uh...

Is he very bitten with her, is he?

Well, it's rather difficult to say.

By george. Caught you at it.

Hello, Charlie.

Drinking at this hour.

We did have a sad excuse.

Yes. Indeed.

Bad luck. We finished the bottle.

I must be off.

You're dining with me tonight,

don't forget.

The Keppels and the Farjeons

are coming.

I'm afraid it won't be a very gay occasion.

Wish you were cooking our dinner, Mrs. Trotter.

Got a temperamental Italian fellow, chef.

Can hear him screaming his head off

from the library.

Oh, dear.

Well, good-bye and thank you.

Good day, Starr.

I ain't seen you for a bit, then.

No.

Trust you've been behaving yourself

like a good boy.

You know me.

Only too well.

Louisa, I've got someone coming to tea.

You only have to ring the bell in your room

for Merriman.

We do serve afternoon tea in this hotel.

Well, I... I think it would be

better if we had it in the hall.

There's a bell there, too.

You see, it's a girl.

Oh, you shock me, Lord Haslemere.

You really do.

Louisa, be serious.

You see, it's a rather

quietly brought-up sort of girl.

She wouldn't understand if we had tea in my room.

I mean, without a chaperone.

Knowing you, she might learn

a thing or 2, though.

Will you be...

Will you be very careful...

To...well... Watch your language?

Oh, crikey. If her ears are that delicate,

why don't you take her to Gunter's

where she won't be corrupted?

I particularly want you to meet Miss Wormald.

She's a girl I met in Scotland.

She's awfully good at fishing,

likes walking.

Oh.

She's an orphan, but Sir James Rosslyn's

her guardian.

Oh, yeah. I know him, all right.

Spending most of the year down in Dorset,

she's led, well, rather a dull life.

Yeah, I can imagine.

I do hope you like her.

Oh, I'll put on me best bib and tucker,

mind me P's and Q's and me "Bloodies."

By the way, she particularly likes

chocolate eclairs.

There's none made.

Oh, please, Louisa.

Oh, bleedin' hell!

I wish you'd stayed put where you was.

Thanks.

This is just the best eclair

I've ever tasted.

Oh, well, that's nice, isn't it?

Louisa made them herself. Mrs. Trotter.

You mean you cooked them,

Mrs. Trotter?

With me own fair hands.

I didn't know that you cooked.

Well, now I don't, not so much as I used to,

only when it's something special.

Special? Oh.

But of course.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Got me menus to see to.

More tea?

Oh, yes. Thank you so much.

What a funny woman.

Yes.

Very common voice.

Yes. She was a cook, you know, as she said,

and a very, very good one.

Yes.

You always stay here, Charles?

Yes, I do, when I'm in London.

I have rooms. Awfully nice.

You must come and see them sometime.

Uncle James stayed here once.

Oh, yes. Yes, I believe he did.

I think he found it rather noisy.

Oh, really?

Good afternoon, Sir James.

Well, hello, Starr.

I'm just looking for my ward.

She's over there, then.

Oh, yes.

Hello, Haslemere.

I have come to take this young lady away.

We're going to a lecture at the Royal Society,

on volcanoes.

Oh. Volcanoes.

Very interesting subject.

Hello, Sir James.

Well, my goodness.

If it isn't the lady herself.

You liberals are not so cocky now, eh, since the election?

Majority of 2, was it?

Not good.

Nobody's faults but your own.

Look at that Winston Churchill...

Well, he's a nice enough boy, appreciates my cooking,

but he thinks with his mouth.

And as for Lloyd George and his people's budget,

he'll ruin us all.

It's a perfectly sound fiscal measure,

and they'll get it through

once we scotch those half-witted

conservative peers.

Oh. Begging your pardon, Haslemere.

Don't worry, Sir James.

You see here the most unpolitical

conservative peer in captivity.

That's where they should all be...

behind bars at the zoo.

We could all go and feed them with buns.

CHARLIE: Thanks.

Well, if you'll excuse us, I've got a taxi waiting.

Oh, yes, of course.

Good-bye, Charles.

Good-bye, Margaret.

Good-bye, Mrs. Trotter, and thank you.

Have a good lecture.

Well, he don't change much, do he?

Dry old stick.

He treats Margaret as though

she's still about 14.

Still, he's got a kind heart,

and that's what matters, or so they say.

Louisa, could you spare a minute?

Starr, tell old Dundrearyman

to fetch me a bottle of wine.

Yes, madam.

Old Dundrearyman.

He'll like that, won't he, Fred?

Oh, come on. Sit down.

I mean, how should I know?

Know what?

If Miss Wermygold...

Wormald.

If she's Miss Right,

if you should pop the question to her.

Now, how the devil...

Oh, come on, Charlie.

I can read you like an open book.

I always could.

Yes, you always could.

Well, why ask me this one?

Oh, you're the only person I've ever asked

to marry me before.

Isn't that good enough recommendation?

Well, I don't know.

How well do you know her?

Well, we saw each other quite often in Scotland.

By yourselves?

No. She's quite jolly, really.

Not half such a mouse as...

You don't have to apologize for her.

No.

It's so hard to know.

I mean, really, to get to know

somebody like Margaret...

We got to know each other all right.

Yes, but it's not... I couldn't possibly...

Oh, no, of course not, her being a lady.

Louisa, that's damned unfair.

Yeah, it is.

You always treated me like a lady

even though I wasn't one.

I'll give you that.

You been over to France to get it, have you?

Oh, no, mum. No, you see,

I'm having a bit of trouble with the ice.

Let his lordship do it. We can't hang about all night.

You pop off and die somewhere.

Yes, mum.

Well, don't see no stars in your eyes.

You're not head over heels, that's for sure.

No.

No, I'm not, but...

Well, don't you think it's better

or might be better

just to start liking each other?

And then as time goes by, getting fonder and fonder.

Yes. Exactly.

Like it was a piece of furniture

or a dog or something.

No, but... Who knows?

Well, she seems healthy enough,

and the big idea is to make

a new little Lord Haslemere, isn't it?

Yes.

She's a lucky girl, Charlie.

You think I should, then?

Well, you pays your money.

That's if she'll have me.

Or Sir Rosy Rosslyn will have you.

"The engagement is announced

between Charles, Viscount Haslemere

of Bishopsleg--"

Bishopsleigh.

"Bishopsleigh, Yorkshire, and Margaret Jane,

only daughter of the late Mr. Justice Wormald

and Mrs. Wormald."

Well, I never did!

That girl's been in here once or twice.

We'll have to get you a real smart

new silk ribbon

for the great occasion, won't we, Fred?

She seems a nice young lady.

We like her, don't we, Fred?

Ate up her tea all right, very appreciative...

Not his lordship's usual at all.

Wonder when they'll have the wedding.

Lord Haslemere being a peer of the realm,

I don't doubt they'll have to wait till after

court mourning's over.

If they can.

What's that?

Well, if there's one on the way.

Violet!

Well, that's the usual reason

people get married, isn't it?

Well, it may be where you come from,

but it's not down here and certainly not

with ladies and gentlemen.

Well, I don't see why he had to pick on that one.

She looks a bit drab to me.

Violet, no doubt you and Lord Haslemere

have different tastes in young ladies.

If I was a lady,

I'd make a dead set at him.

He's just the sort for me...

Handsome and courtly and real nice to women.

He's not the sort that'd bash you about.

I'm a bit soft on him. I am, honest.

I believe we're all aware of Lord Haslemere's qualities

and his undoubted powers of attraction

over all sorts of members of the other sex.

Well, if you ask me, this time he's come

to his senses at last.

I'm surprised he got permission, if you get my drift.

Who from? From old Sir Rosy?

No, no. From her. He daren't lift a finger,

not without Mrs. Trotter lifting the starting gate.

How does she come into it?

Oh, she don't officially, but then she does

in ways that are and should remain

beyond your understanding, Violet.

Now, if Mrs. Trotter was here now,

I have no doubt she'd encourage you

to get on with your mending.

Go on, Fred. Back on duty.

How's Northants doing?

Oh, Surrey wiping the floor with them.

51 all out.

Oh, too many professionals.

Hobbs and all that lot.

Eh, ruination of cricket.

Hello, Charlie.

Hello.

Louisa, something rather dreadful

has happened.

Fred ate a curious cat again?

Louisa, will you swear not to tell

anyone ever about what

I'm going to show you now?

Yeah.

It's a bit of a mystery, no mistake.

Like hell it is.

What's this here? It's all legal.

It's a writ...

A breach of promise of marriage

taken out against me by Irene Baker.

Irene? Crikey!

She's obviously seen the announcement

of my engagement in the papers.

The twisting little bitch!

Unless, of course...

No. Absolutely not.

I mean, last year down the Isle of Wight,

you were a bit over the moon.

I mean, you two had a proper twiddle.

We both had fun.

Fun. Yeah.

You didn't get overexcited and drop a little hint?

About marriage? Never.

I mean, the thought never even

entered my head.

Never ever.

No ring "Just to remember me by"?

No, of course not. Presents?

Well, the odd... Not really.

I gave her a lobster.

A lobster? Why?

She wanted to eat it, I suppose.

She can't bring that up in court, we hope.

It's not going to court.

Oh, yes.

I just spent half the day with my lawyers.

They say that if they get in touch

with Irene's people,

the whole thing could be settled quietly

without anybody hearing a word of it.

Pay up?

Yes. I mean,

the sum will have to be arranged, of course.

That's letting her win,

giving in to her bloody blackmail.

Don't you do that, Charlie.

I'll never speak to you again.

Face it, Louisa. Think of the papers.

Think of the distress it will cause everyone,

not least you.

This hotel's bound to be dragged in.

Let it be dragged in. Let's all be dragged in,

give this girl a real bollocking.

You got to face up to things in life, Charlie.

No good shoving it under the carpet.

Always turns up in the end.

If you hush this thing up and pay up

and then your wife finds out about it,

which she will, bang goes your marriage, matey.

LOUISA: It's as good as an admission of guilt,

if you ask me.

I just don't think I can face Margaret.

Well, you can face me. Why can't you face her?

You want to know how much she loves you?

Well, then, you'll find out.

This'll be a test of her love for you.

Oh, hell.

You're right, as always.

Yeah, and it'll test old Sir Rosy, as well.

Bleedin' hell, it will.

JAMES: Naturally, we are horrified

by this whole business.

CHARLIE: So are we, sir.

I hope you are.

But, James...

Poor Charlie had no idea.

Came as a complete bolt from the blue.

I mean, this woman's just trying it on.

Charles is completely innocent.

He's bound to win.

You may think so, Henry. You may think so.

As a young man of the bar,

I had quite a bit of experience

in this sort of a case,

and they're usually settled in an atmosphere

of emotion.

It's not the least like a man suing a merchant

for being charged overweight for a ton

of coal, not at all.

Who's counsel for the plaintiff?

Have you found out yet?

It's a chap called Newdigate.

Oh, good heavens... Patrick Newdigate.

Yes, he's a silk. A most amusing fellow.

Plays an excellent hand at bridge.

He's a very good barrister, too,

especially this sort of case.

He could blacken the character of

the angel Gabriel

and get damages from the Holy Ghost,

especially if the plaintiff is

a pretty girl,

which, in this case, she certainly is.

How do you know that, James?

Haven't you seen this?

That's monstrous!

Oh, Margaret, I'm so awfully sorry about this.

Yes, Charles. I think it's

all absolutely...

absolutely rotten for you.

I mean...the last thing I would ever want

is to get you involved in this in any way.

In fact, if I'd known, then I wouldn't have

thought of asking you.

Then, if I hadn't announced

my engagement to someone,

then I think this girl wouldn't have done

what she has done.

It's all rather complicated.

Yes.

But you must decide

what you want me to do and say...

I mean about you and me, whatever you wish.

Whatever you say, I shall, of course, abide by.

James, shall we leave them to talk things over?

No, I think not.

Lord Haslemere, now we've heard your side of the case.

You've told us something of how the land lies.

I'd like to have a few words

with Margaret alone, if you'll forgive me.

- Yes. Of course sir. - Thank you.

Uh, uncle Henry.

JAMES: Well, you haven't said very much, my dear.

What could I say, except that he's...

I would appreciate it if I could say something.

Yes, uncle James.

I've failed you, my dear.

I've let my heart get the better of my judgment.

I should never have countenanced this engagement

between you and Haslemere.

I know it's all very well to be

wise after the event,

but something like this was bound to happen sooner or later.

I think that's rather silly.

What?

I said I think that's rather

a silly thing to say.

It wasn't bound to happen.

But it has happened, hasn't it?

We must learn our lessons.

My solution's a simple one.

If you're going to try to persuade me

to ask Charles to break off

our engagement,

I'm not going to.

My dear, look, I quite understand your feelings

of regret and loyalty...

well, I'm glad you do.

But I think you're wrong.

In this case, I'm sure you are,

and I'm going to have to put my foot down.

It won't make any difference, uncle James.

I am your trustee.

Until you're 25, I'm responsible

for your money, your property,

everything you own.

I don't care, uncle James.

That's got nothing to do with it.

How could I possibly ask Charles

to break off our engagement now?

Well, he should make the decision himself.

He's not fair to leave it to us.

Not on to us... on to me.

It would be just like

hitting someone when they're down.

My dear, this isn't a game!

Perhaps it would be best if I'd just told him

I thought it best to call it off.

You've asked Margaret to decide.

You must leave it at that.

Oh, what a mess.

I wish I'd just...

Oh, I don't know.

It's so awful for Margaret.

It's awful for everyone.

Always is.

The late King had a devilish

time of it when he was

Prince of Wales.

Women can be the very devil.

Yes.

But you do get to know who your

real friends are,

if that's any consolation.

Lord Haslemere.

Well?

Charles, as far as I'm concerned,

nothing's any different, not in the least.

Good.

And anything I can possibly do to help,

I'd like to.

I mean, I really would.

Well, there we are, then.

Come along, my dear, or we shall be

late for luncheon.

If the case goes against you,

I hope you'll know what action to take.

Come along, my dear.

Good-bye, Lord Henry,

and thank you.

Good-bye, dear Margaret.

Good-bye, Charles.

Good-bye.

Damn good girl, that.

As for old James,

Lord knows what he'd do without a fence to sit on.

MAN: For some years now, my client, Miss Irene Baker,

has enjoyed considerable success on stage

as an actress and a dancer.

She first met Lord Haslemere at a party

at the Bentinck Hotel

early in August of last year.

Apparently, they were mutually attracted to each other,

and Lord Haslemere took Miss Baker to supper

at Romano's restaurant.

The 2 parties continued to see each other

from time to time,

but the friendship can be said to have blossomed

into something more intense

during a holiday they both spent

as guests of Mrs. Trotter,

the proprietor of the Bentinck Hotel,

at her house on the Isle of Wight

in August 1909.

During that time, Lord Haslemere

proposed marriage to Miss Baker on several occasions

and later in London...

Though it was agreed that

no public announcement would be made

until such time that Lord Haslemere

could discuss the situation

with his family and his trustees

and Miss Baker's contractual and professional obligations

had been settled.

At that time, Lord Haslemere's ardor was such

that he could hardly bear to be parted from Miss Baker

for even a day

or, in his own words, "For even an hour."

When she was not with him,

he bombarded her with letters and telegrams.

And, my lord, if I may be permitted to read

some extracts from these letters?

JUDGE: Have these letters

been entered into the court?

Yes, my lord.

You may read from them if you

consider them relevant.

Thank you, my lord.

"My darling Pally..."

JUDGE: And who, pray, is Pally?

Pally is Miss Baker, my lord.

They called each other by pet names.

Miss Baker was Pally, Lord Haslemere, Ally,

derived, I believe, from the shortened name of

a well-known London race course.

"My darling Pally, I absolutely adore you, my love.

"Every hour you are away from me is agony.

"I'm counting every second until Wednesday night.

You are the most gloriously marvelous

girl in the world."

August the 29th.

"You are much the most important thing

"in my life.

"In returning my love,

"you have paid me the greatest compliment possible.

"Every moment of the day and night,

I see your sweet face before me."

September the 20th.

This was written from Lord Haslemere's home

in Yorkshire, my lord.

"How I shall miss you.

"I shall kiss your photograph every day.

Please come back soon."

Lord Haslemere was referring to the fact that Miss Baker

was about to leave for Europe and South America

for most of the winter months

on professional engagements.

There are many more letters in similar vein, my lord,

but, ah, they tend to become somewhat repetitive.

I now call Miss Baker.

BAILIFF: Miss Baker.

Take the testament in your right hand

and read the card.

"I swear by almighty God

"that the evidence I shall give to this court

"shall be the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth."

JUDGE: You may sit down if you wish, Miss Baker.

Miss Baker, did Lord Haslemere send you

this photograph of himself?

He did, and I

sent him one of myself

with a similar inscription.

Would you please read the inscription?

"To my adorable Pally,

with my everlasting love."

Lord Haslemere suggested marriage to you

on several occasions.

Yes.

Can you remember his exact words?

No, not now. I was so much

in love myself.

Do you recognize this letter?

Yes.

Do you recognize the handwriting?

Yes. It's

Lord Haslemere's writing.

Thank you.

My lord, Lord Haslemere says in this letter,

"In returning my love,

you have paid me the greatest compliment possible."

Miss Baker, how did you... indeed, how do you

interpret these words written in this letter

in August of last year?

I object, my lord.

Witness being led, my lord.

Yes, yes. Be careful, Mr. Newdigate.

Do not lead your witness.

Very good, my lord.

"The greatest compliment possible."

Let me ask you, Miss Baker,

what do you consider to be the greatest

compliment possible

that a man can pay to a woman?

I think it is when a man asks for

a lady's hand in marriage.

Those words merely confirmed

what I already knew...

what I thought I knew...

that Lord Haslemere wished to marry me.

Exactly.

I cannot detect any firm proposal of marriage

in those words myself.

Miss Baker, we've heard enough evidence to be convinced

that you and Lord Haslemere

formed a...a warm friendship

during a holiday by the seaside last year.

You assert he offered his hand in marriage.

Did he give you any more tangible

tokens of his love,

any presents, for instance?

I didn't want any.

He was all I wanted.

And no engagement ring?

We decided that it would be best

for me professionally

if he only gave me the ring after we put

the announcement in the papers.

So you waited...

..Worried, yet patient, you waited,

in fact, until the end of May of this year,

when Lord Haslemere did announce his engagement

in the newspapers,

but to another lady.

Yes.

How did you hear of his engagement to Miss Wormald?

Like you said, I saw it in the papers.

I didn't say that you saw it in the newspapers,

but that was, in fact,

where you saw the announcement?

IRENE: Yes.

Were you surprised?

Well, of course I was surprised.

I was shocked.

Because Lord Haslemere hadn't informed you first

of his change of heart?

Yes. I just couldn't believe it.

It was so unlike him.

Yet you didn't get in touch with him

or ask him for an explanation.

I...no.

Instead, you went directly to your lawyer's,

and Lord Haslemere had delivered to him

a writ for breach of promise of marriage.

Yes.

You didn't even write to him.

I was too upset.

I was really ill, far too ill to work.

It...It has ruined my life.

Yet you were well enough to give

an interview to the press

and have your photograph taken

holding his photograph within the same week.

Well, ah, they wanted it.

Don't you think that was rather a cruel thing to do,

not only to him,

but to the lady he'd become engaged to?

It was him who was being cruel to me.

That's what I thought.

Yet all through the winter

and the early spring of this year,

you never wrote one word to Lord Haslemere.

Well, I was very busy,

traveling round all over the place.

Weren't you worried

that he never wrote to you?

Oh, I was, of course,

but men don't like girls that push.

I didn't ask you what men liked

or disliked, Miss Baker,

although I'm sure you're very

well-informed on the subject.

I object.

Yes, yes. I agree.

I suggest you confine yourself to question, Mr. Randall.

All right.

Let's stick to the point, shall we?

You were saying that you were traveling

all round the place and you were too busy

to write to Lord Haslemere in consequence.

Yes.

But I had his promise and his photograph

always with me,

and I knew that he was kissing mine

and remembering me

just as I was remembering him.

I had his promise as a gentleman.

I wish I could believe you.

Yes, that's a quite

unnecessary observation, Mr. Randall!

They're really having a field day.

Poor old Charlie.

Looks like he's coppin' it proper.

Nothing more than a high-class tart,

that woman.

Good-looker, though.

Fred never liked her, I'll say that.

He's too keen on the ladies, Haslemere.

Bound to come a cropper one day.

I saw it coming a mile off.

You haven't all that strong a record

in that direction yourself.

Mr. Starr [indistinct]

Well, you just stop thinking

about it, Mr. Merriman, or I'll be forced...

LOUISA: Ain't you got nothing better to do...

sitting here...nattering?

All right, Merriman. I want a word with you.

Right.

I got a temporary waiter coming in tomorrow.

You're coming to the court with me.

Oh, not me, mum. Oh, no, no.

Oh, yes, mum.

You got the bit of paper, didn't you?

Yes, but...

they're going to put you inside

if you don't turn up. Contempt.

LOUISA: So you smarten yourself up a bit.

You look like a walking scarecrow.

MERRIMAN: If you'll excuse me, mum, I wouldn't know

what to say.

You'll be asked questions, and you'll answer them,

and you'll tell the truth, if you get my drift,

if you know the meaning of the word, which I doubt.

Getting mixed up in a court of law

is no good for an hotel, mum.

Nothing chases the guests away...

Starr! Come back in here!

I said come back!

You'll get an earwig

where you don't want to one day.

Now, you listen to me, both of you.

Lord Haslemere's in the tripe,

and we're going to help him out of it as best we can.

- There's nothing I can do... - Shut up when I'm talkin' to ya'!

Now, if wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here now...

And there wouldn't be no bleedin' Bentinck,

and you know it.

He got us out of it when we was in it,

so now we're going to do the same for him. Right?

Yes, madam.

Yes, mum.

Right.

Lord Haslemere,

are you in all honesty and under oath

prepared to say to this court that you never at any time

thought of proposing marriage to Miss Baker?

Well, yes, or should I say no?

I really never seriously gave it a thought.

And yet we have heard in writing

that you, on several occasions,

pledged eternal love to her,

calling her adorable, incredibly lovely, et cetera.

Yes. I...I know I did.

It sounds rather silly,

especially when read out,

but, you see,

at the time... last summer...

I was rather struck with her.

Infatuated?

Yes, I suppose so.

We were both having a lot of fun together,

and she was rather keen on me.

In fact, she wrote a lot of the same

sort of nonsense to me.

Oh, so now it's all nonsense, is it, Lord Haslemere?

Though it wasn't nonsense at the time,

not at least as far as Miss Baker was concerned.

That sort of nonsense,

as you're pleased to call it now,

nearly a year later,

can be rather serious...

enough to break a young girl's heart.

What did you do with Miss Baker's letters,

Lord Haslemere?

I destroyed them.

Yes, I'm sure you did.

In what manner, may I ask?

I burnt them, if you want to know.

I think that's the best sort of thing to do

with that kind of, well, private letters.

Kindly stick to answering my questions,

Lord Haslemere.

We're not interested in your thoughts

as to what or what not to do with love letters.

My lord, all I was trying to explain...

Please do as Mr. Newdigate requests,

Lord Haslemere.

Thank you, my lord.

So, having toyed

with Miss Baker's affections,

having burned her letters,

you casually went away and left her...hoping, waiting.

CHARLIE: Well, no.

I mean, we had dinner together in London.

And when was that?

October, I think.

If I may say so, you seem to be

a great thinker, Lord Haslemere.

She seemed in very good form then,

chattering away about her dancing

or her other engagements.

No doubt because she was once more

in her loved one's company,

in his arms.

Oh, no.

You see, by then, I think...

I mean, I know that we both knew that

things had cooled between us, you know?

I do not know, and nor did Miss Baker.

JUDGE: It is a condition not unknown

to appear with the onset of winter.

In this case... in this case,

the cooling off was on one side.

- I just... - Your side.

I just wish to goodness she'd written to me.

This court is not interested in

your wishes, Lord Haslemere.

They come too late.

It is interested in facts...

the fact that you promised to marry Miss Baker

on several occasions

and then chose to forget that promise,

treating her in a most cavalier

and arrogant fashion.

CHARLIE: My lord, believe me, the last thing I ever wanted

was to distress Miss Baker in any way.

If I made a mistake, I'm sorry.

NEWDIGATE: Thank you, Lord Haslemere.

That is all.

Mrs. Trotter, you've known Lord Haslemere very well

for some considerable time.

That's right.

He's been resident in my hotel for,

oh, must be 7 years now,

and he's a great personal friend of mine,

as you might say.

Mrs. Trotter, do you think Lord Haslemere

is the sort of person who would

propose marriage to a lady

and then leave her in the lurch?

It's not what I think. I know he wouldn't.

Lord Haslemere's a gentleman,

and he knows how to treat ladies.

I don't mean just ladies. I mean women of all sorts.

He'll be just as nice and polite and thoughtful

to the old lady who sells matches out in Duke Street

as he is to anyone else.

He's the most kindhearted, decent gentleman

I've ever had the pleasure of meeting,

and I know men.

JUDGE: Silence.

LOUISA: What's more, my lord,

Lord Haslemere's just the nice sort of gentleman

that a certain sort of lady always takes advantage of,

if you'll excuse my grammar.

Mr. Randall, while I think we may excuse

your witness' grammar,

I don't think I can excuse her scattering, random insinuations

left, right, and center.

I know, my lord.

LOUISA: Beg pardon, my lord,

though I can say this without insinuating nothing.

Lord Haslemere would never ask a girl to marry him

without consulting me first.

JUDGE: Lord Haslemere is lately engaged.

Did he consult you first in that case?

Yes, my lord, he did.

RANDALL: Thank you, Mrs. Trotter.

Mr. Newdigate.

Mrs. Trotter... If I may say so,

you seem to be a woman of some considerable character.

If that's a compliment, I accept.

You know the plaintiff well, I believe.

If that's Miss Irene Baker,

not as well as I thought I did.

Lord Haslemere and Miss Baker

first met in your hotel under your auspices?

Yes. There was a bit of a party going on,

and I introduced them.

How very pleasant.

And later you invited them both to stay with you

at your house on the isle of wight.

Yes. What's wrong with that?

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

It would seem to imply, though,

that you were deliberately throwing them together,

possibly matchmaking.

Who's insinuating what now, then?

They was me friends. I just wanted us all

to have bit of a holiday together, that's all.

Only in this case, it got a little out of hand.

Oh, they fell for each other,

if that's what you mean.

You admit, then, that in your opinion,

they fell in love.

Boys do fall in love with pretty dancers.

I would hardly call Lord Haslemere a boy,

Mrs. Trotter.

He is to me.

Anyway, it was only a bit of fun.

Hmm. You call it "Fun," Lord Haslemere, "Nonsense,"

Yet you have heard the contents of Lord Haslemere's letters

read out in court.

I would have thought infatuation were

a better word than fun.

It's the same thing.

People can't write that sort of thing

to each other, the world would be

a pretty dull place,

though I do say this...

my motto is "No lawyers, no letters,

and kiss me baby's bottom."

Always has been.

Yes. Your motto, though fascinating,

is hardly relevant to the case, Mrs. Trotter.

JUDGE: It seems excellent advice to me.

LOUISA: Thank you, me lord.

Mrs. Trotter, I would remind you that you are

giving evidence under oath,

and I advise you to think very carefully

before replying to my next question.

Thank you for reminding me of that fact, sir.

Much obliged.

Mrs. Trotter, as Lord Haslemere and Miss Baker

were staying under your roof,

you, no doubt, had occasion to observe their lovemaking.

Yes, I did.

You admit they made love.

Well, of course, they did.

What's wrong with that?

Now, look, sir.

You're a nice-looking gentleman.

I expect you've had a bit of a cuddle

and a kiss in your time,

maybe even a bit on the side, eh?

But every time you took a girl in your arms

and kissed her and whispered

sweet nothings in her ear,

you didn't think she was thinking you was

asking her to marry you, did you?

My lord, pray protect me from this woman.

Mrs. Trotter, Mr. Newdigate's

amorous adventures, whether fact or fictional,

are not strictly the concern of this court.

Thank you, my lord.

Now, let us stick to the facts.

The truth, Mrs. Trotter.

Right. The truth is that she was just out

to squeeze a bit of money

out of Lord Haslemere!

When she saw his engagement

announced in the papers,

she thought she'd have a go,

knowing he was as soft as butter

when it comes to bloody women!

If you do not confine yourself

to answering counsel's questions,

I shall have to ask you to leave this court.

I'm sorry, my lord, but he keeps

asking me for the truth.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

I mean, that's what we're all here for, isn't it?

And the truth is that when Lord Haslemere

didn't come up to scratch first time

the poor, lovelorn girl gives the screw another twist

and invites the photographers from the papers to come along.

Oh, my heart bleeds for her. It does, really.

I tell you this, by that time, she got

so many other irons in the fire,

she'd forgotten all about Lord Haslemere.

Mrs. Trotter, if you do not stop

uttering these unsupported calumnies of the plaintiff,

it will be my duty to have you removed from

this court by force

for contempt.

I'm sorry, my lord.

I ain't got contempt for no one in this court,

except for her.

JUDGE: Have you completed

your cross examination, Mr. Newdigate?

Apparently.

BAILIFF: Call Arthur Merriman.

Arthur Merriman.

Arthur Merriman.

Arthur Merriman does not answer his call.

Oh, yes, he does.

If you'll excuse me.

Merriman!

Mer...

Merriman, wake up... Uh!

Judge'll have your guts for garters. Now come on.

What you think I brung you here for?

Straighten your tie. Go on.

Up there. Up there. Follow him.

Are you church of England?

I am.

Take the testament in your right hand

and say after me.

I swear by almighty God

that the evidence I shall give to this court...

"I swear by almighty God--"

Speak up, man.

I'm sorry. Me lungs ain't

what they used to be.

Where was I?

Almighty God.

Oh, yes. "Almighty God

"that the evidence I shall give

"before this court shall be the truth,

"the whole truth, and nothing but

the truth."

RANDALL: Is your name Arthur Cornelius Merriman?

Yes.

You're a waiter employed at the Bentinck Hotel

in Duke Street?

I'm the headwaiter, sir,

and have been since the year 18...

Yes. Quite, quite.

Do you recognize the plaintiff?

Who?

That lady sitting there.

Oh, Miss Baker. Oh, yes.

Yes, I do. I do, indeed.

Have you seen that lady on the premises of

the Bentinck Hotel at any time

during the last 6 months?

Yes, sir, I have.

I have, indeed.

Will you tell the court, please, when that was?

Uh, "December the 12th,

spent the night in number 11."

I object.

This book has not been entered

into the court, my lord.

Contemporaneous evidence, my lord.

Satisfied, Mr. Newdigate?

No, my lord.

I should like to see the book in question.

I don't let anyone read this book.

It's private...

This book is private.

You'll allow the court to examine

your book, Mr. Merriman,

or else it may not be used in evidence.

Illegible.

Interesting, though, no doubt.

You may proceed.

MERRIMAN: Now, where was I?

We were discussing a visit of Miss Baker

to the Bentinck Hotel.

Oh, yes.

"December the 12th,

spent the night in number 11."

JUDGE: I don't understand.

You mean she took a room...number 11?

Oh, no, me lord.

It was a gentleman who had the room.

JUDGE: Silence.

RANDALL: How do you know that she spent the night

in this room with this gentleman?

She was there last thing

when I took them their drinks,

and she was still there next morning

when I took them their breakfast.

And January the 8th and 17th in number 8.

JUDGE: Mr. Newdigate.

I believe that your client

said in evidence

that she was out of the country

during the winter months.

Not all the winter months, my lord.

Evidently.

Pray proceed.

And on January 24th,

the young lady in question

entered the hotel with the Marquis of...

Thank you, Mr. Merriman. No names, please.

If you would be kind enough to refer to the noble lord

as lord "X."

Lord who?

Lord "X".

Oh, never heard of him, sir.

I take pride in the fact

that most of the nobility...

RANDALL: Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Merriman.

Your witness, Mr. Newdigate.

Mr. Merriman...

Are your duties as waiter...

I beg your pardon... headwaiter...

at the Bentinck Hotel arduous?

Oh, it is indeed, me lord.

On me feet all day and half the night.

And yet you seem to have found ample time

to play detective as well.

Yes, sir.

It's a hobby of mine, as you might say.

Quite the Sherlock Holmes.

Yes, sir.

I have been referred to by such an epithet in

a jocular sort of way,

if you get my drift.

Well, Mr. Merriman... Mr. Detective Merriman,

I put it to you that your researches must have

led you to the conclusion

that the Bentinck Hotel is nothing more than

a common house of assignation.

MERRIMAN: Oh, not at all, sir.

Mrs. Trotter don't allow

no ladies of the town in the hotel, sir.

No streetwalkers. Very strict rule there.

She likes the guests to be free and easy-like,

like they was in their own homes,

as you might say.

Thank you. That is all.

I call Miss Margaret Wormald.

JUDGE: Who is Miss Wormald, Mr. Randall?

She is Lord Haslemere's fiancee, my lord.

It will not be necessary.

There is no need to inflict

any more pain on that lady

or on Lord Haslemere

than they have already endured in this court.

I've had enough of this

impertinent and disgusting case.

It is not necessary for the defense

to conclude their case.

I shall direct the jury to bring in a verdict for the defense.

Yes, madam. On the hall table

with your name on the envelope if I'm not here.

Cab's ready, ladies.

Enjoy the concert.

Yes, madam. Best stalls, as you asked for.

Yes.

Everything all right, Starr?

Oh, yes, madam.

Some messages on your desk and the mail.

And the Haslemeres' rooms

are ready, are they?

Yes, madam. I attended to it personally.

Right.

Good evening, me lord.

How was the wedding?

Oh, very pleasant. Very delightful.

You and me wasn't asked, Fred,

not being heroes of court dramas

like Mr. Merriman.

A lot of county gentry,

that sort of thing, you know.

Oh, they had a bishop.

Food very badly done, wine undrinkable.

You seem to have managed.

The temporary waiter is sozzled

and sleeping it off in the dispense,

and they're screaming for smoked salmon sandwiches

and white burgundy in number 6,

so you better stir your stumps...Cinderella.

All right, Violet.

I was just waiting for

Lord and Lady Haslemere

in case they wanted anything.

Well, they can always ring if they do.

If you want to see them come in,

you can watch from the hall.

VIOLET: Yes, mum.

CHARLIE: Then I tell her that I love her...

LOUISA: Your magic spell always works, eh?

No. Sometimes the lady says

her carriage is waiting.

I ain't got carriage.

LOUISA: Oh, Charlie, darling!

Oh, I feel tingly all over,

like when I had measles, but nicer.

I don't care about nothing.

I don't care if it's Christmas or Easter.

I must be going potty. I really must.

Oh, it's nice, though.

It's like being up in the air somewhere.

Welcome.

Welcome home.

I hope you'll be very comfortable.

I'm sure I will.

Oh, Margaret.

Happy?

Oh, Charlie.

Oh, what beautiful flowers.

Charlie, look.

Oh, look at the dining table.

Have you ever seen anything prettier?

Charlie?

What's this? I never ordered...

Margaret didn't want any more.

She's having a rest before supper,

so I thought perhaps...

Oh, good idea.

Pink champagne.

That's pushing the boat out a bit.

Didn't even know we had any

in the cellar.

Ah, but Merriman and I knew, didn't we, Merriman?

Yes, me lord.

Old Muddleman.

Tickled pink you asked him to your wedding.

I think that's the first time he's ever been to one

where he was served and wasn't serving.

Poor old Starr will never hear the end of it.

Nice wedding.

Your Margaret made a lovely bride.

I thought Sir James' speech

was going on forever.

Well, he was paying for it.

Likes the sound of his own voice.

Last bottle there is of this stuff.

Better make the most of it.

Oh, Louisa, that was kind.

Louisa, I think, probably,

this will be the last night

I shall spend in the Bentinck.

Oh, will it?

Oh, well, she's moved pretty quick, I must say.

Might have known.

No sooner gets you to the altar than she starts...

it's nothing to do with Margaret.

She doesn't even know about it,

but...well, you see,

we'll need somewhere to live in London,

and a hotel isn't a very suitable place

to begin married life.

I don't see why not.

Anyway, Lady Haslemere will mostly be

up in Yorkshire, won't she?

Louisa, it won't do.

But I thought she'd be only too glad

to have no domestic worries,

meals provided. Seems the ideal place to me.

Louisa, darling, you've got to let me go.

It's no good us trying to hold on.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You once said to me,

"We've got to be honest with ourselves,

not pull the wool."

Well, let's be honest now.

If my marriage is to have any hope,

it's got to be without your help.

I don't own you.

You do, really,

you have done for the last 7 or 8 years.

I've come to rely on you completely,

and you've never let me down.

But now I've got to learn the lessons

you've tried to teach me,

learn to walk on my own 2 feet,

to be responsible for my wife and children.

Yeah, well...

Charlie, I didn't want to ask you this,

but...it might be the last chance I get.

Have you seen our little girl?

Well, I saw her at Christmas.

We had a sort of party

for the tenants' children

in the country.

Charlotte's bright as a bee.

The schoolmistress had to invent

a special class for her.

Oh, they're calling her Lottie now.

Our little Lottie.

She's going to be a beauty.

Well, I should hope so.

It's not a bad start in life.

Louisa, I'm going to leave my money

in the hotel.

You don't have to. It's not a charity.

I think it's very well-invested.

I'd like you to have the furniture

that's in my rooms in part payment

of a debt

that whatever I did, I could never repay.

Well, that's nonsense.

Oh, well. Thanks.

Whatever happens to us,

you know some part of me will always be yours.