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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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A NETFLIX SERIES
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Oh, shit!
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Ah! Oh, fuck!
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12 HOURS EARLIER
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So...
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As I was saying,
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over the last few days, you know,
I've had a chance to take stock.
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First, thanks to your nieces, detox,
who is by the way, absolutely charming.
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I've been able to re-center...
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Wow, as I told you, I understand
what you're going through.
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- For me, my stamps...
- Okay. May I interrupt you?
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Sure, it's very tiring anyway.
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Very tiresome.
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So, as you know, after I graduated,
I worked in a four-star hotel in Orléans.
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Then, I followed my boyfriend
at the time to Paris,
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where I found this job
at the Riviera, which has
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made me very happy for three years.
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But I'm gonna be straight with you.
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I need a new start, and I was thinking,
why not a transfer?
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I'm young, motivated, competent,
I have no ties.
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I have no boyfriend, no stupid cat,
no children.
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I'm asking you.
Challenge me, Mr. Blanchard.
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Well, Léa, it's been ages since
I've seen you this energized. I mean...
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You're like me after my third detox.
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I'll think about it.
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Thank you, Mr. Blanchard.
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Thank you.
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♪ I get it, I'm hard to follow ♪
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♪ Dumped by our fathers
We raised ourselves ♪
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♪ I'm not one to give it up out of anger ♪
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♪ That's why I'm here ♪
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♪ To follow our brothers' footsteps ♪
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♪ We shed tears when they get locked up ♪
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♪ Scribbling lyrics, I couldn't sleep ♪
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♪ And today, here I am at Fianso's ♪
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♪ I can already hear
The audience applauding me ♪
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♪ Going back to square one
Is what scares me ♪
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♪ Look at my mom, so proud
That dough won't last ♪
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So? Did you rework the verse?
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Uh, yeah.
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Let's hear it.
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- Okay.
- Yeah.
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♪ Ever since I was a kid ♪
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♪ I've been fed up
With being compared to others ♪
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♪ My sister always made it better
Now that she's gone ♪
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♪ My life is not the same
One day, you're done with grief ♪
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♪ Or so they say ♪
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♪ Thankfully, my close friends
Take my mind off things ♪
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♪ Now I will make music
Only when I want to sing ♪
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♪ Nobody will tell me how to live
And the haters are gonna leave ♪
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♪ Today is the first day of my new life ♪
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So?
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- You don't like it?
- It's bad.
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Of course.
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No, girl! I'm kidding!
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- It's really cool.
- Really?
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That, right there, is personal,
which means it's universal, it's moving.
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- Keep it up. You'll forget...
- Yeah.
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- ...all about the bad buzz, it's powerful.
- Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know.
I've got time though.
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- I'm not gonna rush...
- One week.
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What do you mean?
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They're recording "Into the Circle"
women's special.
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I will call them and get you on the show.
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- For re...
- Yeah. You're doing it.
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You've been squatting in my den
for a reason.
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- Yeah.
- You show them, girl.
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- You think? Are you sure?
- Yeah, you're gonna show them.
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- You're hot. You're ready, Manon.
- I'm hot!
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- Come on!
- Yeah!
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- Oh, fuck. I'm...
- Yeah! I see you. Yeah!
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- I'm so excited!
- No, get back!
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- Too soon.
- Sorry.
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- I'll be with you in a minute.
- Hello?
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- Yes, Mom! It's me.
- How are you, darling?
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Um, well, very well. Thanks.
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Okay, I just wanted to say, look.
Your birthday dinner tomorrow,
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I'm gonna take care of everything.
I've got it covered.
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Really?
Are you sure you can do it?
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Don't worry. I'll handle everything.
Trust me.
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- Léa, have you been drinking?
- No, I haven't.
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- Okay, are you sure?
- Yes, I'm pretty sure.
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- Since you don't know how to cook...
- Well, uh...
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Would you like that or not?
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- Fuck! I can't even have two minutes!
- Go back to the phone! Come on.
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- Yes...
- And also. I'd be delighted.
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You would like that?
Oh, well that's great!
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I am too. We're two happy women.
Amazing! Okay.
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Mom. See you tomorrow.
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- Take care. Lots of love.
- Bye.
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- There!
- Wait.
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That's the new Léa, a responsible woman
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- who makes decisions, who takes things in...
- All right.
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- ...her own hands!
- Okay, hit me! Like this!
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- Hit me! Dodge! Watch out!
- I'm a warrior!
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Good, great! Hit again!
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- There! That's great, Léa!
- Wow!
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- Ow.
- Oh, sorry about that.
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Times are changing.
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- Léa's in charge of dinner tomorrow.
- Ni hao.
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Ni hao.
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Ni hao.
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- Ni hao.
- Hey there, Philippe.
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I think I'm going to tell them
we're taking a break.
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- Oh, you're not starting with that again?
- Yes, I am!
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You asked me to wait a week
to be sure of my decision.
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And, well, I can tell you I've never been
more sure of anything in 40 years.
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But you can't do that to the kids.
They'll be devastated.
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Quite the opposite!
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It's my birthday and I'm going
to give them all a firework display!
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Ni hao.
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Ni hao.
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One hundred bucks worth
of dead sheep, 40 bucks of cheese rinds,
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- it's extortion!
- Yes, I know. Come one, come on, come on.
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Well, I think you've got everything.
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About the wine, I've numbered it,
so you know what order to drink it.
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Aah.
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- You'll be all right?
- Totally.
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Good, I'm out of here. Later, bye.
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Hold on! Wait! Wait!
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Uh, can you just help me
with the recipe? Please.
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I've never opened a cookbook in my life.
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Oh, God. Feel like there's a lot of things
you've never done in your life.
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I know.
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- Chicken, please.
- Okay. Okay.
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- But I can't stay long.
- Yes!
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- Thank you! Awesome.
- Not for long.
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TO: SOFIA
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SORRY, CAN'T MEET UNTIL 8:30 P.M.
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It's beautiful!
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They'll never believe I made this.
They'll be blown away.
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So, tell me, chef, what delights
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- are you cooking up for us today?
- Well, very simple,
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I started with a ratatouille,
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next I'm going to make a seven-hour lamb
which I'm going to cook for...
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- Seven hours?
- Exactamente!
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To be honest, I thought seven hours
was just how old it was.
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What a comedian!
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- Ha, ha. How we laugh!
- Stop!
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- Go easy on the salt!
- Sorry.
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- And you have to taste it first, okay?
- I got a little carried away.
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So?
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Delicious!
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I didn't know you cook
the old-fashioned way.
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- The old-fashioned way?
- First, you use a book, not a tutorial.
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Then when I say, for example, uh,
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"pare the tomatoes"
you understand right away.
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Well yeah, pare the tomatoes,
you peel them.
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I didn't know that.
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Okay. Let's carry on.
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So, as a teenager were you more
Kelly from Beverly Hills,
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Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle
or Monica from Friends?
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Monica from Friends.
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- How?
- Um...
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When I was younger,
I was overweight and everybody called me
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"Gargantuan."
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Nah, I would have never called you
Gargantuan. Never.
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- Really? Thanks.
- Really.
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Never.
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JUST GOT HERE.
WILL YOU BE HERE SOON?
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Okay, I really have to go now.
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- Mm-hm.
- Yeah. Yeah.
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You're leaving me alone with the kid?
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- He's in good hands.
- Totally!
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Make sure he brushes his
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- teeth and put him to bed.
- You got it!
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I'll tell him some nice bedtime stories
to fall asleep.
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And thanks, okay?
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ENTER THE CIRCLE
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THE LEGENDS OF THE CIRCLE
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Hey.
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Bernard, are you...
are you blowing your nose or crying?
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I'm crying, okay?
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You're gonna be in the big leagues.
I know it.
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I... I can feel it. And...
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It means a lot to me.
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Ooh! Bernie baby.
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Oh, I really wish you were my mom, Bernie.
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So, I wouldn't have to hear that uh,
I'm selfish and I'm abandoning her.
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A mom who likes to guilt-trip? That's new.
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Ooh, the lady knows
what I'm talking about.
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- Yours is like that?
- No.
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But if we're playing Happy Families,
I've got the dad.
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- Aah.
- Mm-hm.
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Well, you know, maybe to uh...
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Comfort our little wounded hearts...
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Mm?
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I guess we could kiss.
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We could.
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Later.
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Ah! Motherfucker!
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Who is that?
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Hello. Can I come in?
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- Uh...
- I'm not feeling good at all.
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I need to talk to someone.
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Things are kind of complicated
with Mélanie.
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Can we talk?
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00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,600
Who's against abortion nowadays,
seriously?
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00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,360
Fascists, maybe?
200
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,760
She was already against gluten
and she's against vaccines as well.
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00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,000
Looks good, whatever you're making there.
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You were always a shitty cook. We just
needed a break up for you to learn.
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Yeah, because actually,
since the detox, I've taken up cooking.
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It's really brought me
a sense of purpose. It's...
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It's liberated me. It's...
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Shut up, fuck!
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Wow.
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You've really changed.
For the better, huh?
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Yeah, I can tell.
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Cheers!
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00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,320
I mean she's really annoying!
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00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,840
You know, I always thought,
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00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,440
you were annoying,
but she's the queen I swear.
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00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,480
Compared to her, you were like a lake...
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00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,840
- A freshwater lake.
- Totally.
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- You loved me for who I am.
- Yes.
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00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,000
You know what, Léa?
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00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,920
I've realized...
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00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,160
that I never loved anyone
like I loved you.
220
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Yeah, well, you're drunk.
221
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It's not... I mean... phew...
You're with Mélanie...
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00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,480
Actually, you know what?
223
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,320
I don't know.
224
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,560
I don't want this child.
225
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,760
- Léa, I don't want it.
- I know.
226
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,696
- I don't want to be a father. I swear.
- I know.
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00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:19,880
I don't want to be a father.
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Fuck.
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00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,000
Oh, fuck!
230
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I don't want it, Léa!
231
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,120
Léa, I don't want to be a father.
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00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,760
I don't want to be a dad.
233
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,480
He's driving me crazy!
234
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Oh, my god! Oh, fuck!
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DAY 23
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Oh, god!
237
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,000
Oh, fuck!
238
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,480
Guillaume!
239
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:55,400
Whoo-hoo, Guillaume!
240
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,360
Guillaume! Come on, wake up. Guillaume!
241
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,920
Guillaume, fuck!
242
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,040
Did I kill him?
243
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,640
No. It's okay. He's okay. Oh, fuck!
244
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,440
What the fuck! The dinner.
245
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,920
Oh, the fucking dinner!
246
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,920
Shit!
247
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,920
Oh, shit! My lamb!
248
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,160
Oh, god!
249
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,280
Oh, no!
250
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,840
God! No!
251
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:16,960
Shit!
252
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,920
Fuck!
253
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,080
Gagan! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, fuck!
254
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,080
It's closed! Fuck!
255
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,160
Like that! Not bad!
256
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:44,760
Look, I know you don't really believe
in my music career. Or in me even.
257
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,520
But this time, Mom. This time, Mom,
this is a huge rap show
258
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,520
and I know I found my path
and even my voice...
259
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,040
V-O-I-C-E.
260
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,120
- That was crap.
- You've got to help me.
261
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,280
Dinner's burned to a crisp,
262
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,720
my family's gonna be here any minute.
And worse than that...
263
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,976
- You killed him!
- No, I didn't kill him.
264
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,200
- Ah, worse, you banged him!
- Yes, I banged him.
265
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,336
- Was it good?
- No! Now is not the time for a debrief!
266
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,560
Hello, girls, are you here?
267
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,840
No! No! No!
268
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,480
No, they can't see him here.
Because I'll get an earful again.
269
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,760
And I'm supposed to be
a new responsible woman!
270
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,160
I know! Calm down, okay?
271
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,760
- Okay.
- I'll handle the parents.
272
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,776
- I'll deal with them and go take a shower.
- Yeah, okay.
273
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,240
But first. Take a breath.
274
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,280
Come on!
275
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:38,760
Wow, Mom! Paris twice in one month! Uh...
Careful you might end up liking it here.
276
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,520
Ah, absolutely not.
277
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,360
But I have to come here.
It's the only way I get to talk to you.
278
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,280
So, here I am.
279
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,640
Ah! I didn't think you'd come
just for my birthday.
280
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:47,720
I did!
281
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,320
Here.
282
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,720
The best bottle just for you.
Happy birthday, sis.
283
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,320
Oh, rosé! Amazing! Very original.
284
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,240
I have some very good news for you.
285
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,400
I've decided to expand
the restaurant for your return!
286
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,080
- No!
- Yes!
287
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,720
- No! No way.
- Yes!
288
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,480
You can't do that, Mom, it's...
289
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,560
It's too much!
290
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,200
It's not too much. No. It's too late!
291
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,720
The place next door went bankrupt!
So, I bought it!
292
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,960
- Isn't that awesome?
- Well, great news!
293
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,280
Aren't you happy?
294
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,320
IF I BECOME AN ASS, ONCE I HAVE
MY PHONE BACK: GO PLAY D&D
295
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,440
HELP MS. RAFAÏ, HAVE DINNER
WITH THE GIRLS, ASK GAGAN FOR HELP
296
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,440
Change will do you good.
297
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:38,640
I believe in change!
298
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,880
You know, change is when life happens.
In fact, I, myself,
299
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,280
- am about to make a big...
- Mireille?
300
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,920
I was just telling Léa, it's crazy
301
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,480
to wanna have a baby
after two months, with this Mélanie
302
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,160
but with her after eight years. Nothing.
303
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,040
Now trust me. Your Guillaume
is completely off the mark.
304
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,320
Léa, you dodged an idiot!
305
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,800
Do you like it? Look, there's the view.
Can you see the view?
306
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,240
Look at this view. Isn't it pretty?
307
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,440
What? I'm fine. I got it under control.
308
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,840
I didn't say anything.
309
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,160
Yes, exactly. It's weird.
310
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,280
It's not weird, Léa.
311
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,440
- You know, things change.
- Yes. She's right.
312
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,880
She's right, change. Yeah, of course,
change, I mean it's...
313
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,176
It's... there's change everywhere.
314
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,760
Look at our mayor. She's putting
bike paths everywhere.
315
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,280
It's like in Beijing.
I've never been to Beijing.
316
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,680
I don't know China very well.
317
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,600
Everything I know I learned online.
318
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,440
Amsterdam, on the other hand, I know well.
319
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,800
What about you, Léa? Didn't you go
to Copenhagen with Guillaume?
320
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,200
- You need to ask Sonel for the recipe.
- Will do.
321
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,680
- The meatball recipe.
- Dad? Mom?
322
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,336
- Totally, she's planning something crazy.
- Hi.
323
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,600
What's with the shitty outfits?
What happened?
324
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,240
Okay. Don't be unpleasant, son,
instead, come and say hello.
325
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,080
- And give us a big kiss. Come on.
- Uh... Hi.
326
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,760
Wow, you stink, Mom. That's gross.
327
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,720
You got lucky! I spent 15 hours with them
and I threw up three times.
328
00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,040
Oh! It's not that bad.
You guys are such wimps!
329
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,760
- And conformists as well!
- Please. Don't even get me started.
330
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,320
Okay, that's enough about us! Mom!
331
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,120
It's your birthday! You're a star!
332
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,720
Happy birthday, Mireille!
333
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,240
- All right, like this.
- Like that? Ah, okay, like that.
334
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,000
Wait! What have they got into now?
335
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,200
According to them, they found themselves
in the Rasta philosophy of life
336
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:19,200
which rejects the civilization
built on money and materialism.
337
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,760
Oh, no. I'll never get my phone back now.
338
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,360
The truth is, they met some old Rastas
at the beach restaurant,
339
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,840
but, like, seriously old,
like Grandma's age.
340
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,656
And the waiter thought
Dad was the old man's father!
341
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,760
What?
342
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,760
- That sucks.
- Yep, so, their whole new thing
343
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,000
is trying to be Rastas
to make themselves seen younger.
344
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,280
It's not working at all.
345
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,920
You know, it feels like
we've let something go.
346
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,256
- Hello, my darlings!
- Happy birthday, Mireille.
347
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,136
- I'm going straight in 'cause he's hungry.
- Okay, thanks, Audrey.
348
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,200
- Happy birthday, Mom.
- Thank you, darling.
349
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,400
You look beautiful.
350
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,960
Okay, Julien. I need to talk to you.
351
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,496
- I need to tell you something.
- It's all about your father...
352
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,480
I've done it.
I've taken my paternity leave.
353
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,440
I'm gonna surprise Audrey during dessert.
354
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,720
I know it's your birthday,
but... let's share. You don't mind, right?
355
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,400
Uh... No.
356
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,560
It seems we all have something
important to announce.
357
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,840
She's going to be over the moon.
358
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,560
I'm gonna need you to help me though.
359
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,720
I'm going to freak out
being on my own with the baby.
360
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,480
- Ah, well...
- Thanks, Mama.
361
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,720
You're so beautiful.
362
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,416
It'll kill her if I tell her I'm not going
to work in the restaurant!
363
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,880
- No, it won't.
- She bought another place! Come on!
364
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,080
She must've paid a fortune.
365
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,616
- I can't... I can't do that to her.
- You can't what? Choose your own life?
366
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,960
Would you really prefer working
with your mom every day,
367
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,040
just because she decided
to buy a new place?
368
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,560
Is that what you want?
369
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,040
No.
370
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,760
Okay, so you say, "Mom, your emotional
blackmail won't work on me.
371
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,160
Goodbye. I'm going to be a rapper.
Peace out."
372
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,400
Okay.
373
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,400
- Let's go!
- Okay.
374
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,016
- What are you...
- Wait. Let's roll him.
375
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,760
Roll!
376
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,240
- What are you guys up to?
- Aah!
377
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,240
We're cleaning before...
our moms come for inspection. Because...
378
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,680
- Wow, it was a total mess.
- Total mess. I'm really...
379
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,000
- very dirty.
- Ah, God!
380
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,080
So, Léa, I'm really sorry
381
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,736
about the other day. I should've seen
that you weren't doing well.
382
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,480
- You bought a Tamagotchi.
- Ah, pfft.
383
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,400
Forget it.
384
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,640
I mean, I'm not judging you at all.
I'm not.
385
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,240
Uh, is it still around?
386
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,119
Who cares? Seriously, I swear.
I threw out the Tamagotchi.
387
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,815
But I'm hungry. Really hungry.
Aren't you hungry?
388
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,536
- Oh, god. I'm starving. I'm so...
- I'm hungry. Okay.
389
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,920
Listen, I'm not really hungry.
390
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,079
Actually...
391
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,440
I don't think I'm doing okay.
392
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:21,520
- Aah?
- Really?
393
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,000
I don't think I'm okay at all. In fact...
394
00:17:24,079 --> 00:17:25,800
I can't stand Julien anymore.
395
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,880
He never takes care of Pablo.
And when he does,
396
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,520
he does it badly.
397
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:31,720
All the time.
398
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,000
I feel lonely.
399
00:17:33,079 --> 00:17:36,160
I feel ugly. I reek of vomit.
No one ever thinks about me.
400
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,440
- No.
- I never talk to anyone anymore.
401
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,200
And I feel so guilty because...
402
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,440
- ...all I want to do is go back to work.
- Hey.
403
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,560
Yes, oh, dear. Come here.
404
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,400
- Three-way hug.
- Come on let it out.
405
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,240
- All right.
- And it's coming out! It's out!
406
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,920
There you go.
407
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,880
Your brother is so selfish.
408
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,400
I know.
409
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,160
Wouldn't it feel good
if we went and told him?
410
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,520
- Yeah!
- Yeah. Let's do it.
411
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,736
Come on. Let's go. We're doing it.
412
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,696
You need to verbalize this.
You need to get it out.
413
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,496
- There you go. Totally!
- You need to say these things.
414
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,640
- Go on!
- Mm-hm.
415
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:04,720
- Yes.
- Yeah.
416
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,400
Don't move.
417
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,200
It's really embarrassing
that you've done this.
418
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,680
No, it's not embarrassing.
It's not at all.
419
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,560
- It's a life philosophy.
- Nico, you're white. It's embarrassing.
420
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,080
You know what, forget it.
You don't understand.
421
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,080
- Can I have my phone now?
- Hey, peace, man! We just got back. Okay?
422
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,640
Don't peace me, Dad.
423
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:27,840
Where is Manon?
424
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,761
- Hello, am I invisible, huh?
- Okay, can I have my phone?
425
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,000
- Mom, come on, my phone.
- Dinner is ready!
426
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,400
Ah! Well, you're going to have
to wait a little longer.
427
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,600
Because actually,
we have a new family rule. Mm-hm.
428
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,880
- No screens at the table!
- At the table!
429
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,200
Yeah!
430
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,520
Come on, Lyna.
431
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,520
Ah. I'll take that.
432
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:49,680
There.
433
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,240
- It's good, right?
- Well done.
434
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,200
Nice vegetarian meal!
Does that make you happy, Mom?
435
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,560
- For your birthday.
- Of course, it makes us happy.
436
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,296
You know, you should all stop eating meat.
437
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,856
- We're vegetarians now.
- I don't like it.
438
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,240
- Oh, well there are more and more of them.
- Like bicycles!
439
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,920
Right, Lyna? Eat your food.
440
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,816
- But I don't like it.
- You don't get dessert then!
441
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,080
- Okay!
- Yeah, go!
442
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,040
And no snacks!
You're not having a snack either.
443
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,600
We should think about doing a vegan dish
at the restaurant.
444
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaking of vegan,
where's your boyfriend, Léa?
445
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,560
No, it's not vegan. It's Gogan.
446
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,560
No, damn it.
It's Gagan and fuck you, okay?
447
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,280
- Oh!
- Ooh, someone's pissed about something.
448
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,616
- Did he dump you?
- Don't be a smart ass. You'll be next.
449
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,736
- Enough now, please.
- Hey, don't talk about my relationship.
450
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,576
I don't think you're in any position
to give me advice...
451
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,816
- Because you're in a better position...
- Come on, you two.
452
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,336
- ...than me! Is that it?
- Cut it out.
453
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,240
Can you guys take a break?
454
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,376
- You're going to ruin your mom's birthday.
- Yeah, you're ruining everything.
455
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,000
It's true that sometimes it's good
to take a break. Huh, Philippe?
456
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,656
See, you're ruining the mood.
457
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,560
Come on, Manon.
Tell everyone the good news.
458
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,280
Mom, wait. Nico and Rime haven't told us
about their new white Rasta cult.
459
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,280
- So, you're vegetarian now?
- Look...
460
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,920
Animal flesh, sold for human consumption,
461
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000
is considered poison
by the Rastafari movement.
462
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,240
Yeah.
463
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,400
- Ooh!
- And if you think about it,
464
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,800
meat, well, it fuels human aggression.
465
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,120
Obesity, global famines,
and most diseases.
466
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,816
- Oh, yeah. Of course.
- Don't count us in.
467
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,960
- That is all because of meat.
- Yeah! It is.
468
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,360
If we just stop eating it, boom,
no more problems on Earth.
469
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,536
- You're a pain in the ass!
- What? We're only kidding!
470
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,120
Of course. Dr. Life Engineer
just has to ridicule everyone!
471
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,696
What's wrong with you? Can't you give
people a break for five minutes?
472
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,296
Hang on, what's wrong with you today?
You're Miss Mega Pain In The Ass!
473
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,880
Stop it, Julien!
474
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,800
- What? Stop what?
- Just leave it. Happiness annoys him.
475
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,800
If I don't have dessert
and I leave the table,
476
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,160
can I have my phone?
477
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,800
We need to tell you something.
478
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:27,920
What now?
479
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,320
Go ahead, darling.
480
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,040
Yeah, go ahead.
481
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,040
Okay, we left your phone at home,
so you're going to have to...
482
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,216
- wait a little bit before you get it back.
- Are you for real?
483
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,200
- Mm.
- I hold up my end of the deal,
484
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,216
- and you don't stick to yours, Mom!
- It's not a big deal!
485
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,776
Can't you just wait two more hours?
486
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,480
Manon, come on, tell everyone
the good news. It'll lighten the mood.
487
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,296
The different generation...
488
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,760
- I'm not going, Mom.
- What did she say? I can't hear.
489
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,256
- What did she say? What did she say?
- I don't know what she said.
490
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,120
- Listen.
- I'm not going.
491
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,120
- You're not going where?
- Corsica!
492
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,280
I'm not going to Corsica!
493
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,920
I'm staying in Paris. All right, I...
494
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,920
I'm not coming home with you, Mom.
495
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,160
- There! Are you happy, Julien?
- What?
496
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,000
- What? I didn't do anything!
- Yeah, right.
497
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,960
Of course, because you never do anything.
498
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,000
- Hmm?
- You never do anything.
499
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,560
You know what? Léa is right.
500
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:40,320
- You're fucking selfish.
- Oh.
501
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,240
You don't look after your son.
You work 72 hours a week.
502
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,896
- You don't give a shit about me.
- Wh...
503
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,480
- I'm gonna end up leaving you, Julien.
- No, wait, don't leave!
504
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,936
Of course, I give a shit
about you! All right.
505
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,640
I... I took my paternity leave!
506
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,040
It started today.
I wanted to surprise you.
507
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,680
- For real?
- Yes, of course, for real, my love!
508
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,280
I'm begging you, stop taking advice
from that crazy woman.
509
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,880
- Oh, no! I'm the crazy woman?
- Yes, yes, you are!
510
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,800
Hang on, who's the nutcase
who took Dad's car and ran over the dog,
511
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,720
then blamed it on the neighbor?
512
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,480
Yeah, that's right, guys!
513
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,880
- Ha! It was him.
- No...
514
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,296
- You're the one who killed Maxie?
- Let me explain...
515
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,640
- That was you?
- Let me explain. It was an accident.
516
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,600
I swear. And it was 15 years ago!
517
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,360
No, Dad! Look what you've done!
518
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,136
- You're so annoying!
- Great job. Seriously!
519
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,760
- Great job! You've made dad cry now.
- Okay, I've had enough.
520
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,896
- I want my phone...
- Hey, calm down!
521
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,160
You get it now!
522
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,200
- Shut the fuck up!
- Slut! Bitch!
523
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,480
- Skank!
- Bitch, go fuck yourself!
524
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,640
- Shit! Slut!
- Come on, bitch!
525
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,600
- Bitch! Shit! Slut!
- Whore!
526
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,200
- Slut! Asshole!
- Bitch!
527
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,680
- Cocksucker!
- Asshole! Son of a bitch!
528
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,056
- Jerk! Asshole!
- Aw! Look how cute you all are.
529
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,440
The 15-minute swear-fest.
530
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,840
- What?
- Motherfucker!
531
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,440
Dad used to organize this on vacation
when we were little.
532
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,040
We could say as many swear words
as we like for a few minutes.
533
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,336
- Whatever we wanted, to whoever we wanted.
- Awesome.
534
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,360
- God, I really go.
- You see, Yacine, how cute dad looks.
535
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,440
What did you expect? Huh?
536
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,000
Mom, stop. You're not
going to leave like this.
537
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,840
I'm so stupid! Is that it? Heh?
538
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,320
Good for you. Abandoning me again.
539
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,280
I didn't know how to tell you.
540
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,440
I was looking forward to it.
541
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:19,840
I'm disappointed in you.
542
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,960
I don't want to work in a restaurant.
It's just not for me.
543
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,560
Aah! I guess it's for people like me.
544
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,160
Or your sister. Restaurant work
is for hillbillies as everybody knows.
545
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,960
- This lady is an artist, a big star!
- Why couldn't I be an artist?
546
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,120
Who said I couldn't be one, Mom?
547
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:36,480
Fuck!
548
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,656
You always make me feel guilty
for not being like her.
549
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,640
It's driving me crazy. I'm not Caro, Mom!
550
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,920
I'm not going to replace her.
551
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,800
Not in the restaurant
and not in your life.
552
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,360
Mom, if we lose each other,
what else do we have left?
553
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,440
It's just the two of us. You know
I've always wanted to do music.
554
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,800
Maybe I'll fail
but that's what I want to do.
555
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,000
Best of luck then.
556
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:05,720
That was for you, Mom!
557
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,720
- Good job, Manon!
- Bravo!
558
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:11,080
You are going to do everything you can
to become a huge artist. Okay?
559
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,040
- Okay.
- Spit swear?
560
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,800
Spit swear.
561
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,960
I am so hungry!
562
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,040
What the hell is going on?
563
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,240
This is ridiculous. It's gone too far.
564
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,520
Léa, have you lost your mind?
565
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,440
- You kidnapped your ex now?
- You've gone too far now, Léa.
566
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,320
You're this close to being put
in a care home!
567
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,960
For God's sake!
568
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,240
Did it even occur to you that he was
the one who came knocking at my door?
569
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,480
Who turned up drunk last night, crying?
570
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,480
"I don't want this child.
You're the one I love."
571
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,520
When three weeks ago,
he filed a complaint against me?
572
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,400
- Huh? What?
- What do you mean a complaint?
573
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,720
The only thing you do is humiliate me,
Guillaume.
574
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,840
I'm done, okay?
I don't want to see you again.
575
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,680
And you know what?
576
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,480
It serves you right to have a shitty life
with a racist wife and kid.
577
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,080
Wait, you filed a complaint
against my sister?
578
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,240
You really are an asshole.
579
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,520
Seriously! Go on, Lyna!
580
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,376
- You piece of shit!
- Go on. That's it, honey!
581
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,080
- What are you thinking?
- You hurt my daughter?
582
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,800
Sweetheart! There.
583
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,240
Hey!
584
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,000
- Get out!
- Get out of here!
585
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,160
- Li... Like this?
- Yeah. In that.
586
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,720
Thank you.
587
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,760
You're incorrigible.
588
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,720
You were out of line earlier.
589
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:49,840
What can I get you?
590
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,080
- Ah, hello, young man.
- Hello.
591
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,480
I'll have a bottle of water.
592
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,640
It will be my pleasure, miss.
593
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,560
What, like, he is your type?
594
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,640
Yeah, he is my type. Yeah.
595
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,520
- Absolutely my type.
- Who knew?
596
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,640
Okay now. You're gonna listen to me.
597
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,440
First of all, you're done with this.
598
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,800
Completely. As for your restaurant,
I have an idea.
599
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,200
I told Philippe I'm not coming back home.
600
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,400
- Huh?
- Yeah. We're taking a break.
601
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,920
So you and me,
602
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,160
are going to have our childhood dream.
603
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,520
#WEARENOTPIGEONS
604
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,040
Oh. Oh! Oh, my god!
605
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,440
Oh!
606
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,760
Oh, yes!
607
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,120
- Oh, shit!
- What's going on?
608
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,560
Mom, I'm a genius. I'm a genius.
609
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,360
A genius? I think I'd know.
610
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,560
- Well, let me explain.
- I'm listening.
611
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,400
I created a whole detox movement
612
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,680
so I was the only one
without a phone on vacation.
613
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,880
And it worked!
All the schools around did it!
614
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,800
Do you realize?
I gained over 5,000 followers.
615
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,000
Even a brand wants me
to wear their products.
616
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:08,400
This is crazy!
617
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,240
I tricked them, Mom.
618
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,720
You can call me the boss.
619
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,240
Or I can call you for dinner.
620
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,880
And don't forget, no screens.
621
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:23,720
Yes! Yes! Yes!
622
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,000
Dinner!
623
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:51,960
Finally!
624
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,720
That was the longest date ever.
625
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,200
The opposite actually.
The shortest date ever.
626
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,080
I left after five minutes.
627
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,720
I went to my mom's.
I needed some comfort.
628
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:03,800
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
629
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,360
Why?
630
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,600
Well, I think I've had enough of dating.
631
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,560
- Really?
- Yeah, I've done it all.
632
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,320
Before coupling up,
bonobos bond through friendship.
633
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,000
They make offerings to each other,
634
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,480
play together and help each other
with small tasks.
635
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,120
What about you? Did the new Léa do good?
636
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,720
Yeah, pretty good, yeah.
I think I can move on to something new.
637
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:24,680
I'm exhausted.
638
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,760
- And the meal was good?
- Cut the crap. I completely fucked it up.
639
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,880
It was awful.
640
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,416
- When she feels ready, the female...
- Would you like a pistachio?
641
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,640
- ...throws stones to her chosen mate.
- No. Right here.
642
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,000
The future couple starts
turning around each other in circles,
643
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,240
getting closer and closer.
644
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,000
They groom each other,
they touch each other
645
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,480
In the end, just like humans,
646
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,600
they choose each other.
50321
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