Original subtitles

(BOTH MOANING)

(EXHALES)

(PANTING)

(GROWLING)

They thought that if you saw the film,

you'd want me and you'd come back.

They thought that you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

I don't really see where this relationship is headed any more.

You can't do this on your own.

So maybe I won't.

Lauren!

Annie was killed by Owen.

(SOBBING) Owen, please look.

-(GASPS) -Bitch!

MITCHELL: Where do I belong?

Where do I fit?

Who are my people?

Where do my loyalties lie?

(ALL CLAMOURING)

We all choose our tribe.

It's that need to belong, to live within boundaries.

'Cause it's scary on the outside,

on the fringes...

Some labels are forced on us. They mark us,

set us apart till we're like ghosts just drifting through other people's lives.

But only if we let the labels hold.

You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be.

It's when you've worked out who you are,

that you can really start to live.

(GROANS)

Where are you hiding her?

(GROANING)

Where's Lauren?

-Hmm? -(STRAINING)

He never rings, he never writes...

Go and get her. She's coming with me.

I'm sorry, Mitchell, it's really not gonna happen.

You don't get to decide this, Herrick.

Well, I do, actually.

Because you just keep hurting her, Mitchell.

You just keep hurting her!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

You recruit her, that's fine. But then you just leave her!

She wakes up with us, she doesn't know where she is.

She's calling for you...

So, fine, we pick up the pieces best we can, but then...

(CHUCKLES) Jesus Christ!

Then you try and take her back.

She's the one who came to me.

Where else is she gonna go?

She couldn't exactly call Childline, could she?

When I recruited you, I didn't abandon you.

I took care of you. Do you know why?

'Cause it was my responsibility.

I was helping her.

What, by getting her to buy into this ridiculous...

Your fad?

(CHUCKLES) My what?

This thing you're doing with you and your furry friend.

Raiding the dressing-up box, pretending to be human.

It's a game!

It's... This is not a game!

Meeting in hotels like you're what? Lovers?

You rip her mortality away and then you try and patch it up with these...

Scraps of human behaviour.

That is cruel, Mitchell.

Why can't you just let her be the thing you made her?

And leave her to the likes of you?

Well, at least we're consistent. (CHUCKLES)

Herrick, you forced her to screw a man, then kill him while you filmed it.

So you watched it then?

Well, I didn't know what it was, did I?

Till the end.

What was that?

You watched it.

To the end.

When the guy died.

Like I said, I didn't know what it was.

Mmm.

How, um...

Thorough.

Look, you go and do your thing.

Maybe you need to get it out of your system.

You go and do your thing and come on home.

There'll always be a place for you here,

just like there was for Lauren.

Er, mind your feet!

Oh... What happened here?

Just dropped a plate.

Right.

Whoa, did you just?

Tell me honestly, is this too flash?

(EXHALES) I can't imagine ever saying yes,

but a bit of context might help.

Right, yes, sorry. I'm seeing Nina later.

Not, not, not a date. Really, really, really

not a date.

Not a date in a pub, not a date in a restaurant

or not a date in another date like situation?

Gastropub. Not a date in a gastropub. Annie?

You look like bar staff.

(SIGHS) Fair enough.

Last time I wore it, someone did ask if the jalfrezi was off, so... (CHUCKLES)

Oh...

Okay, this mug, did it just move on its own?

(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.

Maybe it fell out with the other mugs,

decided he needed some time on his own.

Well?

This, er, non-date, you gonna break it to her you cross-dress?

Bit much?

(SIGHS) Okay. Er...

You, you, you agree with him?

It's hideous.

Uh, yeah, well...

(CHUCKLES) I kept the receipt.

So?

Er, can we just forget about the mug and the plate?

What happened with the plate?

Oh!

(RATTLING)

(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

-(SIGHS) -When did this start?

After I found out about Owen.

And for all I know, this could be perfectly normal.

You find out your fiance murdered you,

you become a throwing-things-about ghost.

Poltergeist.

See, you know the terms, you understand how this works.

Do you think I can channel it?

I have been dying to pull that fridge out, clean behind it.

Annie, you're still dealing with the fact that you were killed by Owen.

Maybe cleaning the kitchen isn't the best way to go about it.

(EXPLOSION)

(SIGHS)

-You really can't control it, huh? -(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Oh, now that just looks like you can't be arsed.

-Really? -Really.

Well, maybe I don't need your advice.

Maybe I understand women a bit better than you think.

Oh, you're one of those guys.

What... What guys?

Turns bumptious once he's getting laid.

Mmm-hmm.

I've always been... No, no, I'm not.

And don't, please, no don't call it 'getting laid'.

With Nina, it's more poetic.

(BOTH SNIGGER)

Oh, yes, oh, yes, very funny.

The werewolf's a romantic.

Though the sex was verging on ferocious. (CHUCKLES)

Shit. Shit.

-What? -No, nothing.

Oh, no, no, no... It's just occurred to me.

I was on the jaws of a change when me and Nina...

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I had the wolf in me.

-So did Nina. -(SNIGGERING)

Stop sniggering, this is not a joke.

I really, really like Nina and I thought that...

Well, I hoped that she liked me.

But what if she's only interested in the wolf?

Hmm.

Oh, oh, thank you for... "Oh, no, George, how could that be possible?"

Argh.

(SIGHS)

(CHILDREN ARGUING)

Nobody wants you here.

What you on about?

I can do whatever I want.

(CONTINUES ARGUING)

Oi, lads,

what are you doing?

Piss off!

(SCOFFS) Run that by me again?

-You heard. -He reckons he can take us!

(CHUCKLING) You're about three!

-This your boyfriend? -No.

-Leave him alone. -Fuck off, Goth boy.

Don't push your luck.

'Cause you'll do what?

-Don't. -Or what?

You don't wanna know.

Yeah, I do. Why I asked.

No, no really...

You don't.

(GASPS)

Keep away from him, missus. He's an alien freak!

I could've seen them off myself.

I couldn't at your age.

No?

No. That was payback there on all the little bastards who used to have a pop at me.

Yeah?

Between us,

I was the dorkiest of dorks. (CHUCKLES)

What's going on? Who were those boys?

-Retards from school. -Bernie!

They were giving your son a bit of grief.

He is your son, isn't he?

Yeah. Who are you?

He helped me see them off.

I'm Mitchell. I'm just across the way there.

You see, that's modern living for you.

I don't know half the neighbours.

They could have Osama bin Laden stashed away at number six

and I wouldn't know!

Yeah.

Fleur.

I'm sorry?

Me.

I know it sounds like acid reflux, but it's my name.

Fleur. (CHUCKLES)

Nice to meet you.

This is Bernie.

You're coming in for a cuppa.

Camomile.

Right.

(SNIFFS)

No coffee then?

FLEUR: Little shits!

I say this as a mother, but children are foul.

Thanks.

Not you. It's just the way they treat each other.

You know, picking on anyone who's different.

I'm not different.

Yes, you are.

You're sensitive, you're kind.

Different to those little thugs.

-Mum, you make me sound gay. -Oi!

(LAUGHING)

I'll tell Uncle Frank and Uncle Paolo that you said that!

(SIGHS)

There is no shame in being sensitive,

is there, Mitchell?

Not at all.

Of course you can't blame the children.

Not when you consider the parents.

(GRUNTS)

Jesus!

Sorry.

No, we're not born arseholes.

Mum, you're shaming me.

And you're one of the good guys.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Poor Keisha's in a right state.

She's been puking. I mean really retching her guts up.

I, er, get the picture.

Both ends. I mean, it's blatantly a hangover

but someone has to go in and cover her shift.

Of course.

Ooh, look, you've dressed up and everything.

No, no, no, no, I always wear black.

You're pissed off with me.

Nina, no, your, your, your commitment to your job, it, it's so attractive.

Your passion, your, your, your commitment. (LAUGHS)

It's up there with, uh...

-(GRUNTS) -My breasts?

No.

Oh, right, so they're not all that then?

No. Yes. Yes, um, yes. (CHUCKLES)

No it's, erm, it's just, it's just a gesture.

Yeah. Look, um...

We may not make the restaurant

but I've still got an hour before I need to leave.

So...

Get a takeaway?

-George! -Ow.

Oh. Oh, you mean, we could, um...

We could,

couldn't we?

We could, yes, absolutely...

(CHUCKLES)

Um, er, but look the thing is,

you, you might be expecting this kind of...

(SCREAMS) Bloody hell!

-Too hard? -Yeah, yeah, yes, just a bit!

I thought you liked it rough.

Ah... Now... Well...

This is what I need to say, Nina.

-Ow! -Sorry.

Look, I'm not anti the rough stuff, not, not, not at all. But...

It won't always be like the other night.

Oh, thank God.

Eh? I thought you were impressed.

Well, yeah, more, um, stunned.

Oh!

So, so slow things down a bit?

If that's all right with you?

That's fine with me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting we wear those weird chastity rings

you know, American kids have, you know...

We're not shagging 'cause we're mentals,

but I just...

Just rewind a little.

To flowers and romance.

Exactly.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

BERNIE: Hey.

Hey!

-How's it going? -All right.

Cool.

Oh, it's you.

Twice in two days. Are we being stalked?

No. Am I?

Not unless you're on your way to Tesco's, no.

I've got some people over for dinner tonight and can I be bothered?

Why'd you invite them?

I was drunk.

-You on trolley-pushing duty? -(CHUCKLES) As if!

I'm going into town. Wanna come?

-FLEUR: Course he doesn't. -I don't mind. I'm only mooching.

Oh, yeah, I forgot, yeah, all men are kids at heart.

His dad's the same when he's over.

Him and mum have split. But we're on Skype all the time.

Oh, yeah!

He treats you like a playmate doesn't he?

Any excuse to crack open the Lego.

I'll take him out.

Mum?

-Do you mind? -What?

Well, me tagging along with him.

I mean, you hardly know me.

I don't believe in wrapping kids in cotton wool.

I mean, have to make their own way in the end, don't they?

-Go on, have a good time. -Thank you.

-See you later. -Bye.

-See ya. -Bye-bye.

You didn't see that.

No.

Mitchell, when you were a kid...

Yeah?

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Oh, God. Um...

Just happy, I suppose.

That it?

People didn't really have careers back then.

Where I came from you either ended up in the church,

or in the army, like me, or...

You were in the army? That's so cool!

Yeah, it so isn't.

Were you in a war? Did you fight?

Mostly I did. Or ran away.

Have you killed people?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(STAMMERS) I guess what I'm trying to say is,

it was different back then,

there was less choice.

So just "happy" would do, you know?

And you are happy?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm getting there.

Strike!

Jesus! This is getting embarrassing.

Oh, well done! You show him how it's played, kid.

I'll just be a second, Bernie.

Aren't you going to introduce me to your little friend?

-But it's your turn! -You take it for me.

You're killing again.

No. Honestly, no.

I can see it in you.

(SNIFFS) Oh, I can smell it.

God, it's always about the blood with you, isn't it?

Like that's all there is.

There's a whole dark and beautiful world,

and you're obsessing about what we eat.

Well, I'm kind of busy right now.

So, could you cut to the bit where you make me feel guilty,

try and drag me back, make a scene...

Not this time.

No guilt trip, no appeal,

no tricks, no tears.

Okay. Then what do you want?

I've come to say goodbye.

We've got the message, we're leaving you alone.

What?

Well, you've made your decision and we're respecting it.

Maybe one day you'll change your mind.

But for now...

I guess we're done.

Bernie, I won't be long, okay?

-This is a trick? -Uh, Mitchell...

I'm serious, I'm not coming back.

I know!

We get it! Jesus, I am saying this out loud, aren't I?

Look, your friend will be waiting for you.

And I've gotta run.

Um, there was one more thing.

I wanted to say it's okay.

What is?

Me.

What you did to me.

There's no bitterness.

I love it.

Take care of yourself.

Yeah, you too.

Oh, Lauren, look, I know how it feels now but...

God, the film...

We just do things differently, that's all.

Strike!

You okay?

Oh, you're bleeding.

Oh...

You're not going to be sick, are you?

-What? -Mum always is.

I got a nosebleed in Morrisons

and she threw up in a freezer cabinet.

Oh.

Well, what do you know.

I guess I'm fine. (CHUCKLES)

It's party time.

-What the fuck? -We've got a visitor.

-Hi. -It's my new mate, Bernie.

Oh.

Boo! Hello, lickle man.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

(CHUCKLES) There's a boy like that at school.

Bernie's 12, George.

Big one-two. Not four.

Ah... (CHUCKLES) Duh.

You wanna lager, Bernie?

Pop will be fine.

Have a ciggy if you like. Mitchell smokes indoors.

I don't smoke.

Twelve.

So, am I invited to this party then?

BERNIE: What?

What you looking at?

It, it, it's neck exercises.

It's really good to...

Stand up for me, Bernie.

It's just good to stretch out the neck

just before eating lots of cake and crisps and biscuits.

Really take it over there, Bernie, really stretch.

Just to allow the passage from the mouth into the stomach, a clear path.

(SNIFFS)

Oh, Mitchell, is any of this technically food?

Probably not.

What?

Get stuck in.

(YAWNING)

Oh, sorry, excuse me.

You round at Nina's last night?

Yeah.

Ah, Mitchell, she's...

Oh, it always comes down to breasts.

How, how is that even remotely...

Nina's George's new girlfriend.

It's why he's so knackered.

Twelve!

Well, if she's got big...

Whoa, no, we're taking it slowly, thank you, actually.

ANNIE: I always thought Owen and I would have parties like these.

For our own kids.

Better catering, obviously.

Always wanted a boy.

Tell him, Mitchell.

Tell him never make plans. Never hope. Never dream...

Oh, isn't this the jolliest of parties?

Pass the party rings, Bernie!

Whoa, how did you...

He didn't. No one did.

No. No, no, it's fine, stay where you are...

GEORGE: Dustpan and brush, dustpan and brush.

Who are they?

Are you serious? That's Laurel & Hardy!

Was the fat one Prime Minister?

Oh, he might be thinking of Churchill.

ANNIE: Or Hitler.

Same tash.

Okay. Go to my room, it's upstairs beside the bathroom.

Go to the bookcase, find the first Laurel & Hardy DVD you can find

and promise me you'll watch it tomorrow.

You will laugh more than you've ever laughed before.

Okay.

How has he not ever heard of Laurel and Hardy?

They're like the funniest men who ever lived!

Oh, that's someone who's never seen Ace Ventura.

Yeah, and that's someone with no taste.

You, my friend, have a soppy streak.

(SCOFFS)

You keep it hidden really, very deeply hidden but it's there.

Look after you two, don't I?

ANNIE: Yeah, right.

The way you are with him... Is there a risk?

You know, it's like...

When we were out bowling, he cut his head,

it was like that thirst for blood wasn't there.

It was like, like the human me won through, you know?

Hey, how was it?

It was the best night ever!

Great.

Well, that puts all your Christmases and birthdays into perspective.

I think I let him OD on sugar.

He says he eats more healthily at your house.

Yeah, with the Wicked Witch.

Ah, c'mon.

Oh, just ignore me.

I've had too many home measures.

We know.

Gin, mostly.

(LAUGHS) It was my pleasure.

Hey, thank you.

Yeah.

See ya.

(TV PLAYING)

How's your head, love?

Fine. How's yours?

(CHUCKLES)

Are you watching this?

What do you think?

Great.

I want it back on for Countryfile.

You know what I can't get my head around?

Quantum mechanics?

Bernie not knowing Laurel and Hardy.

Immortality can make you feel so old.

He's a good kid, though, isn't he?

Thoughtful, well mannered.

Reminds me so much of me at that age.

Oh, the rampaging ego came much later then?

We all build some sort of defence against the world.

Like sarcasm.

Hmm.

Those party rings are not sitting well on me today.

I wonder which film he picked.

(CHUCKLES)

MITCHELL: Kid needs a few laughs. We all do.

And that's another fine mess you got me into.

Bernie!

I think I'm going to be sick.

(RAPPING ON DOOR)

Mitchell!

Get out here now, you sick, twisted lowlife!

What?

I don't know how you've got the nerve to show your face!

You just called me out here.

Oh, yeah, that's very clever.

But that's how your sort work, isn't it?

You turn on the charm, the wit.

You sucker people in...

Whoa, oh, hang on a second, will you tell me what this is all about, please?

Yeah, don't worry. I'll tell everyone what this is about!

What's going on?

I'll tell the whole world your nasty little secret.

What?

Getting close to defenceless children...

-(SOBS) -Dirty bastard!

FLEUR: Winning them over,

making friends with them, and then showing them filth!

Men filth!

Dirty, dirty bastard!

What are you talking about?

My son.

Making out you're his friend just so you can show him that depravity!

Laurel and Hardy?

A naked man.

Hard!

Writhing on his bed!

Oh, God no...

Fleur...

You kept the DVD?

I didn't keep it so much as not throw it out.

But everything you said about moving on,

putting Lauren, that whole lifestyle behind you,

connecting with humanity...

And why hide it in Laurel and Hardy?

What else have you got up there,

some German scat inside Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

How many times have you watched it?

I've never even seen any scat.

(STUTTERS) Oh, just that first time, to see what it was. But that...

This is just what we didn't need, Mitchell.

To draw attention to ourselves.

It was just a stupid mistake.

Well, put it right!

Fleur?

Fleur!

Mitchell!

Fleur, it's not how it looks. You have to let me explain.

She doesn't have to do anything, but you...

If you've got any sense you'll pack up and fuck off.

Cos I'm telling you, we'll make your life hell if you don't.

Oh, yeah? You think it gets worse than this?

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

It could have been any of our boys.

You've asked for it!

I don't need your custom.

Oh.

Find somewhere else to shop.

Who did that? Who did that, you dirty little...

Pervert!

I am not the pervert, that's my housemate.

And, and actually he's not a pervert either. You've all got it very wrong.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

They got you, too?

I managed to dodge most of it.

Shame the house couldn't.

Covered in rotten tomatoes.

Who keeps their rotten tomatoes?

Who looks in the salad cooler, sees their tomatoes are on the turn and thinks,

"Oh, oh, no, I'll hang on to those,

"in case some paedos move in opposite."

It'll blow over soon.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

FLEUR: Wankers!

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

If they want us out then they're succeeding.

Because I can't take this any more.

George! Don't let Annie know you're even thinking that.

We're all she's got.

I mean it, Mitchell.

This was always going to happen, wasn't it?

Soon as they found out what we are.

They don't know what we are.

They've seen a mob and piled on,

'cause it's easier than having to stop and think.

That's what I should've done. Thought!

Then I'd never have got Nina involved in any of this.

She isn't involved in any of this.

She's involved with me!

Oh, for...

(EXHALES)

We've been deluding ourselves we could ever be accepted here

by proper human beings.

We are monsters, Mitchell.

We deserve to be cast out.

(SIGHS)

Guess who.

-I know who. -I should hope so.

Erm, are we still on for tomorrow?

Er...

No. No, I don't... I don't think we are.

Right.

I'm missing something here.

I can't do this any more.

-Not, not, not this. -I know...

I'm sorry, Nina. It's over.

Don't I get told what I've done?

No, it's nothing you've done. It's me.

No, no, I'm sorry, erm...

Saying, "It's not you, it's me,"

is a stabbable offence in my book and I can get my hands on scalpels.

You'll have to do a lot better than that.

I'm bad news, Nina.

I've said so all along.

Everything I touch turns to shit.

Because you let it! Look, if you're having an attack of...

You think I'm having a down day?

I'm not. Trust me, there is stuff you don't know about me.

Really dark, dangerous, nasty stuff.

And when you do know it you'll walk.

So I am only cutting to the chase.

Well, not chase, because I will let you go... I will...

I won't come after you.

No, I mean it, Nina! I mean it!

We have no future.

We can't have.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, we'll be here.

We'll see you later. Okay.

-Argh, bollocks! -What now?

-Owen's on his way over. -What the f...

He can't.

-Well, he can. It's his house. -Did you just...

-He can't! -(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

-How did she... -She's a poltergeist.

Annie, look, you can't be in this state when Owen arrives.

Mitchell How long have you known about this?

George, we'll talk about it later! Okay?

You've got to control it, Annie.

I don't know how.

(GLASS CRASHING)

Ahhh! No! That was a present!

Come on, deep breaths. Breathe.

No, I can't have him in the same room knowing what he did to me.

(BARBIE GIRL PLAYING)

* I'm a Barbie girl...

I will bring this house down!

-Jesus! -Let's get you upstairs.

We'll do everything we can to keep Owen down here, okay?

* You can dress my hair

* Undress me everywhere

* Imagination life is your creation...

Mitchell!

* I'm a Barbie girl...

George...

(SIGHS)

Boys.

Hey.

Have we walked in on a domestic?

No.

Well, have you seen the house?

Not our fault. Be fair.

No. Course.

Come in.

Oh, erm, that was on your doorstep.

Oh. Ta.

-Fuckin' hell! -Uh...

The animals.

I have to wash my hands.

No!

Kitchen!

(STUTTERS) The kitchen's, the kitchen's much nicer.

-There's scented soap. -Oh, right.

Didn't get any on the envelope, though.

Impressive aim.

Err, between you and me,

Mitchell isn't exactly fastidious about how he leaves the toilet.

(LAUGHING)

I'll, erm...

I'll just get rid of this.

So, Mitchell, what's all this about?

Human excrement.

(SIGHS)

(RUMBLING)

(WIND WHOOSHING)

Oh! Annie. Annie.

-Keep it together. -(BREATHING HEAVILY)

It is like... He's killing me all over again.

Shh. Shh.

Shh. Shh.

Okay. Okay.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

-You muppet. -It was a simple mix-up.

I never meant for the kid to see it.

Fair enough.

Jim said it was a fella. Tackle out.

-I have eclectic tastes. -Ahh.

What you boys get up to is your own affair.

Er, I have a girlfriend.

That's back on, is it?

You know, I used to keep some pretty ripe stuff stashed

about the place when I lived here.

Kept it in my Red Dwarf box set.

One place the missus was never gonna look.

I still don't feel clean.

(SIGHS)

So have you told 'em yet?

-Told us what? -In my own time.

Told us what?

I just don't see the sense in dragging it out.

What it is, lads...

I can't afford to wind up the neighbours.

I mean, we'll wanna move back in.

-One day. -And it's pointless us taking rent off you,

just to pay it in rent to someone else.

Yeah.

So...

I'm giving you your notice.

-End of the month. -No, no, you... You can't do that!

End of next month, sorry.

Whilst we're here, I thought I'd do some measuring up.

Not to speak ill of the dead, but...

Owen's late fiancee wasn't exactly Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen!

(CHUCKLES)

Sweetheart?

JANEY: Stain on the carpet.

-(BREATHING HEAVILY) -Ooh, look at the colour of those walls.

Place doesn't look like it's ever had a woman's touch.

Unless it was Rose West.

Talk about gloomy.

I don't know why you didn't just tell 'em straight.

We're moving back.

Ugh, men's undies.

First thing on the list, a linen basket.

I'm not having your boxers strewn about the place.

We always saw this as a junk room.

We did not!

I can see why.

Ugh! It's creepy.

It was going to be the nursery.

Mind you, bit of paint. Cot in the corner...

What?

Your face! I'm joking, Owen.

Sort of.

Oh, you'd better be!

You're not stealing the whole life I had planned as well!

Is that door creaking?

Well, I'm not touching it, am I?

Do you think we could do this another time?

It's hardly tactful, those two downstairs.

-ANNIE: Tactful? -(ROOF CRACKING)

Rawl plugs.

Janey, come on.

-Yeah, in a mo. -Never mind a mo.

Get out. Now. Go.

And there you are.

There's the Owen I remember.

OWEN: So we'll be in touch about the...

Fucking nonce.

Get walking, you.

What did they have to say for themselves?

Well, they're history, sweetheart.

-Gave them their marching orders. -Good.

Hey! Hey!

You want to stay away from that lot.

They're sick.

(KNOCKING)

So, this is your secret?

Of course it's not.

Oh, and there's one E in "paedo", not two! You cretins.

Nina, do I look like a paedo?

If paedos looked like paedos they'd never do any paedo-ing.

Yes, but I think you know me a bit better than that!

No, George, I don't. You won't talk!

It's not this. It's not kids.

Then what?

You don't need me and my problems in your life.

Don't I get to decide that?

God, who was she, George?

Who messed up your head?

Cos if you'd rather have me leave here thinking you're a paedophile than...

Nina, please. Just go.

I am not... It's not kids, or anything those idiots out there say,

but trouble follows me.

Like a curse.

And you deserve so much better.

(CHUCKLES)

I would have listened.

Years from now, when you've pushed everyone away

and you will, let that haunt you.

I would have listened.

Mr. Mitchell, I need to take a statement from you.

A statement?

Well, to be fair, at this stage it's more of a chat.

Someone's made a very serious allegation about you, Mitchell.

How did you hear about that?

What, and all this time you've been thinking I'm a kissogram?

Look, this whole thing is just...

It'll blow over soon.

There's no need for a chat.

That's out of my hands, I'm afraid.

Someone calls the police, you know, it gets logged, forms are filled in...

Suddenly we're in a world of pain.

Fine.

But not you. You're not involving yourself in this.

This is nothing to do with you.

No, Mitchell. Look, erm, you talk to me.

Now, this is... This is kiddy fiddling, this is Child Protection.

This kinda shit, you have no idea.

You talk to me.

-I can deal with it. -I haven't...

I didn't do anything.

It was the DVD. Someone found the DVD.

(SIGHS)

This is gonna be an absolute nightmare for you, isn't it?

Tell you what, though. I do admire your restraint.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you know. I mean.

Back in the day, we would have handled it very differently.

(SCOFFS)

If they only knew who they were messing with.

Yeah! Like that soldier, do you remember?

In that bar. You know, where was that?

Oh, er...

Jesus, erm...

-Glasgow. -Yeah, that's it.

He's looming over you, he's poking his finger at you.

And he's going, "Micks. I never want to see another fucking Mick."

And I'm thinking, "Yeah, we can arrange that, mate."

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Look, you just leave this to me. Yeah?

Any more trouble, give me a call.

I don't need any help from you.

I hope you're right.

Take it easy.

(SIGHS)

(WIND WHISTLING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

I used to think this kind of stuff was bollocks.

Now it looks like something by Ken Loach.

MITCHELL: A tragic, misunderstood monster chased away by the mob.

Can you blame them? That lot are right.

I mean, not about their hats, there are some seriously mad hats there.

But the likes of us...

No, no.

We're not fit to live among decent people.

It's a good job we don't, then.

Oh, for God's sake!

It's so cold!

Oh.

We are cursed, Mitchell,

to damage anyone who comes near us.

Nina, Bernie...

Fire! Fire!

What?

They've started a fire! The bastards!

What the hell?

I'm making a break with the past.

Everything that Owen and I ever had,

that old life,

can go to ash.

Annie, don't. You're not thinking straight.

George, I was dead before I even met Owen.

A whole life just wasted on trivia and routine.

-Annie, no. -But not now.

Now I have a purpose.

A reason to be here.

Owen has taken everything he's ever going to take from me

he's not taking you two,

or this house.

I've never felt more alive.

(PHONE RINGING)

I'll get it.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Mitchell!

You can't be here.

I want to say sorry.

What for? None of this was your fault.

It is. I knew it was the wrong DVD as soon as I put it on.

I should never have kept watching.

Look, you've gotta go home.

But you've nothing, nothing to apologise for.

-Oi. -Gary Glitter. You're just takin' the piss now.

-No. I came to see him. -Nose out, half-pint.

Be told. We want you out.

-You gonna make me? -Oh, steady, Mitchell.

-He hasn't done anything wrong! -If I have to.

-Don't even think about it. -Steady.

Listen to your bum chum, mate. If he knows what's good for you.

We're just housemates!

You've got him all wrong! I came to see him!

-This is for your benefit, son. -MAN: Go on!

-Is it? -MAN: Smack him in the face!

Why don't you fuck off while you can?

We're not going anywhere.

-Bernie! -(CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

-Get back here now! -I'm trying to sort this, Mum!

I mean, take a look around you.

You're gonna do what?

Don't you dare disobey me!

There's nothing to see, just let him out.

(CAR APPROACHING)

Bernie!

Bernie!

Oh, my God!

Mitchell, Mitchell!

Bernie!

Get off him!

Leave him alone!

-Somebody call an ambulance. -MITCHELL: Enjoying the show?

That's real community spirit here, huh?

-Mitchell. -Real community spirit!

-Mitchell I said leave it! -They're only human.

Then it's our mistake wanting to be like them!

Bernie, can you hear me?

Bernie?

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SIRENS WAILING)

What's happening?

Kiddy got hit, love.

Doesn't look good.

-You can see me? -Eh?

Oh... Oh, these? They're an affectation.

MAN: Sorry.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

I thought I was supposed to stay away from you.

I've just seen a child killed in front of me.

Oh...

All comes so easily at work, you know...

Verbal Elastoplast. Always know what to say.

But now it's...

I know.

Nina...

When I tell you I'm a man with secrets...

(SIGHS)

I'm...

I'm being as honest as I can be right now.

But you're not ready to tell me what those secrets are?

Can you live with that?

(SIGHS)

No, no, it's, erm...

I... Er, I want to show you something.

Erm...

Ta-da.

Oh, my God, Nina, that...

You're not the only one with secrets. (CHUCKLES)

Is your imagination doing overtime, hmm?

"What the hell am I getting into?"

People...

Can be bastards.

It's all you need know.

If I talk about it,

I'll have to remember, and...

I never want anything like that to happen to you again.

(BEEPING)

It was all to protect you.

You know that, don't you, Bernie?

He knows.

It's all my fault.

He tried to explain, but...

Stupid bitch, I wouldn't listen.

I can help you, Fleur.

The both of you.

How?

He's not coming out of this.

They told me that.

I can hear his heartbeat fading.

I'm here to watch my son die.

How can anyone help me through that?

I know death doesn't have to be final. I'm proof of it.

Oh, not the Jesus bit. Please!

If God's so bloody marvellous, then why...

I'm talking about something older, and stronger, than religion.

That car hit two people, you saw it.

Bernie, a human, and, and me.

A vampire.

You sad, deluded man!

You were there, you saw it.

Okay?

Okay.

Give me a mirror. Have you got a mirror? Give it to me.

Look.

Our image can't be captured, not by camera, not by anything.

Where am I, Fleur? Why aren't I beside you?

I don't...

You weren't there the other day,

were you?

Oh, no, come on. It's insane...

D'you hear how close he is? How little time he has left?

(SOBS)

Now, you can cling to your old way of seeing the world, or let me help.

How?

Us vampires, we're not born, we're made.

Snatched from a human life at the moment of death.

Bernie doesn't have much longer, not as you know him.

I can give him a new life.

If that's what you want...

As Dracula?

I died a hundred years ago.

A young man, just sent off to war.

But I've lived more since then than I ever thought was possible.

All right, well, you tell me this, then.

Honestly, if this is the choice that I'm left with...

If you were me, would you choose that life for your son?

Because I don't see much happiness in you, Mitchell.

Would Bernie really thank me if I let him live on like you?

That choice must be yours.

But you have to make it now.

(SOBS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(SOBBING)

Will you stay on here?

I don't know yet.

I've told the neighbours that I got it wrong,

I said that it was all...

I said that you'd tried to save him.

It doesn't matter any more.

(GASPS)

Oh, God,

what about when I die?

-What'll happen to him? -He'll be looked after.

But should I do it, too?

-Should I become one? -No. You need to stay as you are.

You have to remind him and keep him...

Keep him good.

Bernie?

I missed you.

(SIGHS)

I missed you, too.

You're cold.

Thank you so much, Mitchell.

Don't, Bernie. Just don't.

Mum, I'm hungry.

Okay.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm in.

* Don't get up till the sun goes down *

I'm gonna haunt Owen.

It is so great to have you back.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Are you killing again?

They are the monsters.

(SCREAMING)

How bad is this?

No one get's left behind.

I am darkness, vengeance and fury.

We're gonna do this old-school.

(HISSES)