Original subtitles

Alice.

Jack?

Hi. Hmm.

Well, your picture didn't lie.

Yours is an understatement.

Do you live hear here? I work round the corner.

Are we suggesting we go to your office?

Oh, no. No, oh, sorry, I would... No. We'll go to my apartment.

I want to say this in a way that's clear...

..but not rude.

Get the fuck out of here?

Don't do it. Why not?

Because she told you not to and she threw you out of her flat.

As far as signals go, those are pretty clear.

You ever been with the same person twice?

Tonight'll be the first time.

This was a mistake, this was my mistake.

People will usually disappoint you.

I mean, look, there's 7.5 million people in this city.

There's got to be at least a couple of hundred thousand of them that are lovely.

We just have to find a great one.

I don't think I could function knowing

I had a child out in the world that I wasn't taking care of.

Lovey?

Who's Alice?

She's an ex. She's here.

Crystal's bringing her through.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

You have three options. Option one -

do not even think about accompanying Alice

to her mother's funeral. It's my personal favourite,

in so much as it preserves the happy status quo

and leaves Alice to the pages of history -

where, in my opinion, she belongs.

Option two.

Lie.

Lie like a rug. Just say it's work or something and go.

Not very Jack-like, but it's not as though you'll get caught.

Option three -

ask Lynn if it would bother her if you went.

Ostensibly, this is respectful but it's actually manipulative,

because it puts Lynn in a terrible position.

Either she says it would bother her,

and risks appearing insecure,

or she says it wouldn't bother her,

avoids appearing insecure, but it plants a small,

emotionally cancerous nugget, and your marriage may never recover.

I wouldn't advise option three,

but if you choose it you must then choose between

subtactic A, which is lie about Alice's status

in the rabbit-warren that is your psyche.

Cast the whole funeral as a sort of mission of mercy undertaken

for old time's sake - which you might think is the truth

but which I think is actually as big a lie as

the other one. And which is not, by the way, guaranteed to prevent

the cancerous nugget.

Or subtactic B - tell Lynn the whole,

unvarnished truth about Alice,

which is every bit as bad an idea as it was this morning.

That's my analysis.

Sorry, love, I think some people just aren't supposed to wear ties.

It's a show of respect to make her feel better about her situation.

She's a pregnant woman with syphilis.

AND she lives in Kent.

Thank you for doing this.

Do you wanna tell me why you dread seeing your dad so much?

Is that the fare?

No.

Thank you.

You look brilliant in your tie.

You know when I go?

Will you try and find me a cemetery

that's really beautiful with a little plot next

to people who look like they could've been interesting?

So, it'll be up to me? Of course it will.

Here we go. Here we go.

That's my dad.

Er... Hello, Alice.

Right, well, er...

Jack, this is Randall.

Pleased to meet you. Pleased to meet you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Yeah, she was...

..one of the greats, Jack.

I'm sure she was.

Erm, have...you still got your parents?

Neither, I'm afraid.

Oh, no. They must have been so young.

Big hearts, but not strong ones, unfortunately.

Well, erm...

I thank you for coming and being there for my Alice.

Of course.

God will show us the path of life.

In His presence, there is the fullness of joy...

..and in His right hand, there is pleasure for evermore.

For so much as it hath pleased Almighty God of His great mercy...

..to take unto Himself the soul of our dear sister Agnes...

..here departed.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Randall?

Is he all right?

Excuse me, sorry. Randall.

Randall. Hey, Randall.

Somebody call an ambulance, please.

Randall? Randall? Randall?

Randall, can you hear me?

Randall.

Randall.

The deceased, Randall H Long,

was the widower of Agnes Long - who herself passed away

just a couple of days ago...

There we go, there we go.

..attended with family and long-time friends.

Mr Long apparently became distressed and then collapsed from what appears

to have been a cerebral haemorrhage,

as the vicar and the mourners looked on.

Mr Long was pronounced dead at the scene.

Alice.

Hey.

Hey, there, bubba. Sh, sh, shush, shush.

Er...

..that's not...

We should probably talk.

Yeah.

What percentage of the days,

since I've known you, have you...thought about her?

100%.

100% of the days?

Yeah. And what percentage of those days... Lynn, please...

What percentage of those days we were dating -

including the day that you asked me -

asked me! -

..conned me, defrauded me into marrying you...

She was in the past... What percent... What percentage

of those days did you think about her?

100%.

I should have...

I should have spat on you in the park.

I should have thrown you out of the taxi. I didn't know it was still alive. It was a scar.

It had faded. I... I thought it was gonna disappear completely.

I didn't know.

We are... We are all entitled to a history, Jack.

E-even if it does include some endless heartbreak,

some boundless love. I wouldn't have held it against you!

You would have gone into that clinic.

Oh, my God, I gave you a chance to tell me and you didn't take it.

And we passed that way but once...

It would've been awful. Yes. Yeah, it would have been awful.

And it would have been shitty

and you would have come across as selfish and cruel.

But it would have been right. Do you really wish that I had told you?

Would you rather that our daughter wasn't lying awake in her cot up there right now?

We give fair warning, Jack. That's what decent people do.

This doesn't have to be a catastrophe. Oh, my God.

Do you really think that I could wake up tomorrow morning -

or any morning - and feel...

..happy or safe or fully loved,

or anything other than angry?

Don't, don't.

So I think what happens now is, er...

..you contact one firm and I contact another firm.

Lynn... You could ask around your office, see if anyone knows anyone, and I'll do the same.

Jesus, Lynn!

You can sleep here tonight on the couch,

obviously, but, er, just do me a favour -

tomorrow, just pack a bag and go.

You can stay at... You can stay at Paul's.

He's more of a soulmate to you than I ever was, anyways.

We'll be fine.

We'll... We'll... We'll function as divorced parents...

..you know, because...

..we actually entered into this with good intentions. We were good people.

We just got...

I don't know. What?

Unlucky?

I don't... We shouldn't be rushing into any decisions...

Oh, my friend... This is... ..hear me.

I may be less experienced than you in the wonders of love,

but I do know one thing...

..and that is that I'm nobody's consolation prize.

Are you going to start up with her again after this?

No!

We can't.

And...

And yet you did all this anyways.

Yeah.

Well, then, you really are stupid.

Oh, my God.

Fuck!

Hi, it's me again.

Just calling to see if you're all right.

I'm a bit worried about you. But I'm...

..fucking wonderful.

Call me back.

We'll agree to the higher payment if you agree to shared custody.

My client's daughter is not for sale.

What does that mean?

Shared custody is not in Celia's best interest.

Her father has a history of adulterous behaviour.

Once again, there was no adultery.

I didn't say "adultery", I said "adulterous".

That's tricky even for you, Yvonne.

It speaks to character, as you know.

But we're happy to let the court decide.

Course you are. All the better to soak these people.

Whereas you are Robin Hood.

Just stop it.

Sole custody, the higher payment, two visits per week,

two hours maximum.

My client will not let his daughter down in that way.

He should have thought of that before he went to his

ex-girlfriend's mother's funeral.

A minor offence in the scheme of things

and in the eyes of any competent judge.

He lied to his wife's face.

Yes, he's the first spouse ever to do to that.

The higher payment plus 30%,

shared custody two-third-to-one-third

in my client's favour, schedule TBD.

That's outrageous. We refu-...

Done.

You're wildly overpaying. Sh, don't.

He's paying through the nose. Grab it.

That's...that's, erm, too much.

I can manage it. I want you to have it.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Well, erm, if you find that you can't,

you know, we can just,

you can just tell me.

Thanks.

Are we done? Mm. Mm.

Sorry.

Alice.

Hey. Hi.

It's good to see ya.

It's like I'm suddenly living someone else's life.

Where are you staying?

Paul and Donna's.

And are you eating? Because it's easy to forget to eat.

But you absolutely can't. I'm eating lots.

You've got to make yourself sleep even though I'm sure it's not easy

but, just stay in bed until it happens.

Stay in sofa.

What about an apartment?

Donna knows somebody,

so after this I've gotta go out and see a place in Forest Gate.

Let me help.

You need somewhere closer-in than that. You like to walk.

It's all right. I can't let you do it.

And Celia? How is she?

I haven't seen Celia in three days.

So I don't know how she is.

I'm so sorry about everything.

It's not your fault.

It's like completely and thoroughly my fault.

Who could have seen any of this coming. It's just...

If you take that place,

will you send me pictures and the address?

I just need to know that you're safely, you know, ensconced.

OK.

Promise? I promise.

How are you doing?

You said you were very good in messages 2 through 14.

I mean, you seem very good.

Yeah, I'm the world's happiest orphan.

That should be a T-shirt.

I'm born again. Not religiously, but, in every other way.

That's wonderful.

The advantage of coming all the way out here is you get much more space

for your money in an absolutely insane market.

That's worth a slightly less elegant finish, I'd say.

We will get the rubble removed.

I can move in right away.

Yes. Donna will be so happy.

Not that she hasn't loved having you around.

Let's go find Saul and pitch him the syphilis project.

I need another victory today.

Er, he said no.

I was trying to find a way of telling you.

You pitched it without me?

Well, the meeting came, you weren't here.

I wasn't here because my life exploded.

Well, he knows that. That's one of the reasons why he said no.

How does he know that?

People hear things. What were his other reasons?

Money. He won't go out-of-pocket on

an issue that's strictly third world.

That's what we do.

That's what we wish we did. What we actually do, mostly,

is work for pay.

I'm gonna talk to him.

I wouldn't. You've gone down a peg right now.

Jack Caine, model citizen and Boy Scout is now, Jack Caine.

Why are people so fucking sanctimonious?

I can understand his perspective.

You can't do work that relies on inspiration if you're ashamed.

I'm not ashamed.

Don't be ashamed of your shame.

You're one of the few people alive who can still feel shame.

Treasure it.

Hello?

Delivery for Jack.

Hi, Jack, I'm Maya, Alice's assistant.

Hi, Maya? We've got a few things for you.

Come on, guys.

Where do you want this? Where d'you want this? Erm, just the kitchen...

Just the kitchen. ..I suppose.

Wow. Bedroom? Bedroom? Bedroom. All right. There. Upstairs?

Yeah. Yeah, great, thank you.

Plants? Mm. Thank you.

And this is for while you're watching us.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I can't pay for...

Oh, no, no, there'll be no paying.

OK. Oh, it's incredible.

I mean, it is so touching

and thoughtful and everything but...

All right, all right, all right.

But I can't accept it, you know, not...not all of it.

You went a bit bananas, don't you think?

Let me fix what I can fix.

Alice, you sent lettuce.

Well, if you return it, I will never forgive you.

OK. Er, but I'm paying you back every penny, then.

It's a house-warming gift, you moron.

It's a fucking house, Alice.

If we keep talking about it, it'll be completely ruined.

OK.

And you're welcome.

Er, Maya, by the way, is fantastic.

Well, you can have her, too, if you like. Is she still there?

Yeah. She's a taskmaster.

She may have found her milieu.

You'll have to come round and see it sometime.

Yeah? Maybe, erm,

one night this week?

Brilliant.

I'll dress the lettuce.

OK. Now.

Now.

Look who it is. Mm.

Look who it is. Hello, darling.

Hello, darling.

Yeah. There we go. Hello, oh, hello.

Yeah, she's colicky, so.

Yeah, oh, man.

I feel sorry for both of you. In you go.

Yeah, well, you'll be sorry for yourself in a couple of hours.

Oh, it's OK, bubba. Sh, sh, sh.

It's OK, honey. Sh.

It's OK. Sh, sh, sh.

Come here.

There we go.

That's a nice one.

Thank you.

Er, yeah, if she, you know, when she starts crying,

if you're at your wits' end, just call me.

I'm sure we'll be fine.

Not that you, look it,

but I'm sure you want a good night's sleep.

Eugh, I'm sure I do look it.

Er, breastmilk.

So, erm, freeze what you don't use

and then you can have it for next time.

Great. Um-hm.

OK.

Sorry.

Sorry.

All right, OK, do you want to say goodbye?

Yeah, OK, bye-bye, sweetheart.

I'll see you in the morning.

OK. Don't frighten your father too much.

Sorry. No, sorry, yeah. Thanks.

Here we go.

I'll see you soon. Yeah.

Ah, come on, out we go.

Hello!

Hey. Sh.

Hi.

Celia is inside. She's sleeping.

Fuck, I'm so sorry.

I didn't think of that, I didn't think of that.

Hey, it's fine.

It's just we said some night, we didn't say tonight.

I should have texted. I should have texted.

It's grand. I just...I just... It's her first night here.

I don't know how I'd feel ab-...

I don't know how Lynn would feel about it. Completely understood.

It was an impulse. I shouldn't follow those.

Oh, well, I feel bad now.

No. Don't...

This is my consummate bad, I was never here.

Goodnight.

Oh, f-... No, no, here, listen, here, listen. Just...

Just come in for 30 seconds.

Have a sip of water and I'll feel better and then you can fuck off.

OK?

OK. But I'm only doing this for you.

Just be quiet.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

We'd better not push our luck.

Mm.

It is very nice to see you so happy.

I mean, I wish I understood it better but...

Oh, I don't want to talk about that, if it's OK.

I just want to be right here in this moment and then

maybes the next moment will be as good as this moment

and then the next after that, and then pretty soon you're talking

about a whole lifetime of great moments.

Jack.

If we were gonna try again...

..I'd want to take it really slow.

Be really sure.

Start on really firm footing

so that it would last, you know?

Wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm.

Sorry. That might be the 30 seconds up.

Fucking hell.

Oh, no.

Oh, she's not happy.

I know.

Sh, sh, sh, sh.

Do you have a dryer?

Sh, sh, sh, sh. Pop her in the middle of that.

All right, come on, darling, we're going to go down just for a second. Just for a second.

Sh, sh, sh.

Here, love, do you want that?

No, no. Hello.

There we go. Ah, she's fine. Hello.

Oh, my God, it's a miracle.

Wow.

I don't want to be too pleased with myself.

I will pay you good money not to leave tonight.

It's OK, I'll go.

No, I'll do it.

No, let me go.

Oh, OK, no, OK, OK.

If it fails, then come rescue me, OK?

You're great.

I am an unswerving delight.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'm behind you, it's not fair, it's not fair.

It's all right. You're all right, yeah.

You're all right. Yeah.

Sh. It's gonna be all right.

Sh. How is she...?

What are you doing Jack?! Why would you do that Jack?!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, just came...

Why the fuck would you do that? It's OK, come here, darling.

Why...?

What the fuck?

Who the fuck does that?

Come on. You're OK, you're OK.

Come on, you're OK. You're OK.

Sorry, I... Sh, sh.

Is she all right?

Yeah, she's fine. She's fine.

Just, fu-...

It's OK.

Is there anything you feel you can tell me?

Are you not enjoying it?

No, no, it's lovely, thank you.

Just a bit of a late night last night.

I'm happy to get you something else.

No, honestly, no, we're fine.

It isn't easy, is it, with a baby?

How old is she/he?

Er, she's nine months.

Like the perfect blend of the two of you.

Hmm.

Thanks.

I should get her back.

Yeah.

Do you want to meet me at that later?

Just to watch it?

If you're not, you know, too put off by my performance last night?

I like kites.

So I'll see you there.

Bye-bye.

Aha. There they are, my brave little adventurers.

Ah, how was it?

Er, it was, yes, it was exactly as you said.

Hello. Oh, my bubba.

There we go. Oh, my bubba. Oh, my bubba.

Do you want to come in for a tea or a coffee, or something?

No, thanks, I've been, mainlining caffeine.

Oh, God, did she sleep much? Did you?

Bits and pieces. Ah, God.

Sorry, she was pristine in the taxi.

Oh, no, do you have,

like a jasmine candle at your place?

No.

Have you started wearing jasmine, suddenly?

No.

Then who's been holding her?

Alice came over.

Did she?

Yeah, she was great with her, actually.

She found out a way to kind of make her stop crying... And did she stay the night?

Not in the way that you think. Jesus Christ.

What?

What. Erm...

..we came at this with a spirit of kinship, Jack.

And now, at the first opportunity... It isn't like that.

Oh, I can see exactly how it is and how it's going to be going forward.

Well, well... Well, well done, OK, great.

Just ground rules rewritten, then.

Two words to the wise going forward, Jack.

One, get yourself some jasmine.

And two, just lie to me.

I know you know how to.

Ah, it's OK, bubba, it's OK.

Hey.

I think that one's a pterodactyl.

Hmm.

It's by far the scariest of dinosaurs, if you ask me.

The other dinosaurs, you could, like,

see them coming and run away or hide, or whatever.

But a pterodactyl, you're just, like, minding your own business

and then something grabs you by the face and flies off

and you don't even have time to leave a note.

Are you OK?

My dad used to come into my room when I was a kid.

He used to wait until my mam was passed out drunk.

He hated my mam.

He hated all women really.

One time he didn't close the door all the way

and I saw her standing there in the corridor....

..watching.

Imagine clinging to a marriage like that?

You know what she said the next day?

"You stole him from me."

I really thought by now that it would be different, Jack.

You know, you do all the things in the world.

You run your gauntlet of caregivers...

..you learn about attachment disorder and all the rest.

And it helps but, erm...

..the present can't fix the past.

And there are just some...

..things and some people you just can't outlive.

The best that you can do is make yourself operational...

..and see the good in people.

And love them.

And I love you.

But we don't...

..have a future together, you know.

If you think there's any way

I'll ever abandon you, you're wrong.

If I could be with anyone in the world...

..it would be with you.

But it would end in ruins.

Shouldn't it be my choice, too?

Knowing the risks? No.

No.

Cos you know them, but you don't know them.

Because we're supposed to keep our loved ones out of harm's way,

not chuck them into it, screaming.

And because honestly I'd just rather die than disappoint you again.

You could never disappoint me.

I have. No.

I have.

I will again.

You're like the incarnation of everything I've ever wanted...

..but I just can't have, you know.

It's all your bloody fault, anyway.

Why?

Cos you should've read the tea leaves,

that what... What's bigger than tea leaves?

Bloody palm fronds?

Kremlin-sized collection of red flags.

But, no.

You just, like...

..loved me.

Blind as justice and...

..dumb as sand.

Anyway, it'll be someone else's problem, now.

Till they figure out what you've found out,

which is that you can't save people.

I never thought that you needed saving, Alice.

I don't think that you do.

I just thought that if we loved each other enough that,

whatever the problems were, we'd be strong enough to get through it.

I don't know if we'll see each other...again.

But you definitely have my permission to think about me

and, erm, imagine that I'm out there, somewhere...

..most probably thinking of you.