Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

(exciting music)

(chuckles)

(guns firing)

(dramatic music)

(shouting)

(hitting and kicking) (shouting)

(tense music)

(exciting music)

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(exciting music)

(gun firing) (shouts)

(sinister music)

(shouting)

(exciting music)

That's one more signed up.

Attention!

(groovy music)

The king is coming.

Your majesty.

[All] Long live the king.

Long live, long live the king.

[King] At ease.

[All] Oh, thank you, your majesty.

[King] Where did you dig this one up from?

Where is his file?

The file, the file!

The file, yes, your majesty.

(chuckles nervously)

(mysterious music)

So, Bruce Lee.

Made in Hong Kong.

He's still standing.

He should kneel before the king.

Show some respect.

You really do have a ton of cheek.

(laughs)

Your majesty this man Bruce Lee

left Hong Kong for Seattle

and from there came onto here

and he been unconscious a long time, cause of death unknown.

("Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas)

* Oh oh oh oh

* Oh oh oh oh.

Majesty.

Hey are you sure it's Bruce Lee?

It doesn't look like him.

It so happens when a person dies

their face and their body undergo a change.

When he was alive all the girls were after him

they just ate him up.

Oh hold me.

[King] Deputy there's something

rather extraordinary there.

You better check it out.

Yes majesty.

(clanging)

(funky music)

Say, it's big, enormous!

Huh?

What on earth could it be?

(boinging)

[King] What is that?

Can someone bring it up here?

- It's fantastic! - Let me have a look at it!

Come on, hurry up. Fantastic, majesty.

Here you are.

Are you the Bruce Lee?

Why have you a weapon when you come here?

I hope you don't intend to attack me.

Hmm?

Hmm, guards, you'd better punish him.

One-armed swordsman! Yes sir, sir!

(hitting)

(dramatic music)

Huh, huh?

Who's stolen my weapon?

Where's it gone?

Who the hell are you?

How dare you?

Get down on your knees before me.

Or do you want to die already?

Huh?

Is there something wrong with you?

You're weird.

I'm gonna die?

You're gonna die.

Don't you realize who I am?

How dare you be rude to me?

I know who you are, a rat.

How dare you say that?

(intense percussive music)

Let me inform you, pipsqueak.

I am the king of the underworld.

Huh?

The underworld?

Huh.

If you continue to misbehave,

I'll be delighted to send you to hell forever.

You're a fool, a stupid fool.

How did you become king?

That's really quite simple.

You see that enormous pillar over there?

Huh.

What's so great about it?

If someone gives me trouble,

I give the pillar a shake

which in turns triggers off an earthquake.

If I really wanted to I could destroy the whole

face of the planet.

Okay, you beat me on that one, you're the boss.

You're right.

You should learn to appreciate my power.

(shouting)

(rumbling) No, majesty, no!

Please, stop, majesty! (groaning)

(laughing)

See?

Now you see how powerful I am.

Well, in that case I guess I'm gonna have to call it quits

but do me one favor.

You can give me back my weapon.

I'm dead without it.

(men groaning)

Hey, your majesty.

I suggest that you give him.

Thanks.

Bruce Lee.

You're welcome.

Here's your weapon.

(light music)

(chattering)

- Would you like a seat? - Thanks.

[Man] A drink over here waiter, will you?

[Bruce] Hey, how come it's so cold here?

Oh, don't you know?

This is the famous Cool Inn.

It's so much cheaper than an air conditioner.

[Bruce] Hey, let me have a menu.

(chuckling)

(dramatic music)

Hey, I can't read what's written here.

Bring me the specialty of the house.

Right, I'll introduce you to some real treats.

You'll like them for sure

but you've got to eat it in a special way.

First you suck it in and then you chew it over

and spit it out and it tastes absolutely delicious.

Disgusting.

Try eating it yourself.

[Both] Onesie, twosie, threesie, oh...

That's four times now.

Popeye, you lose again.

Come on now you have to drink it all up

or you're no partner of mine.

Hey, you're up to your cheating tricks again, aren't you?

You lost, you've got to drink it all up.

Come on. I won't touch it.

- Hey. - I refuse!

Turn around.

I can shout if I want to.

It's a public place, isn't it?

Don't waste your breath.

He's gonna be so rude we may as well go some other place.

Come on. Okay.

I can eat a horse.

Bring me the food.

Oh right, right away.

Hey, that's Bruce Lee.

Oh hey. Hi.

Hey, hi.

Hey, Popeye.

We're going for a drink, aren't we?

Come on.

(fly buzzing)

(hits)

(fly buzzing)

Waiter!

Coming, coming.

What's the matter sir?

Your call this filthy muck food?

I'll complain to the hygiene squad.

I'm sorry, our cook, he can be a little careless.

Forget the bill, you needn't pay.

Alright, I'll let you off this time.

Thank you sir.

Huh?

(tapping)

(cries out)

Hey.

Oh. (laughing)

I'm sorry.

Goodbye. Thanks.

Bye.

(curious music)

Son of a bitch!

(intense music)

Hey mister, why are you making trouble

with those triad chucks from Chinatown?

They can be real mean and nasty.

Listen buster, when I was in the sticks I often

came across the mafia and the 14K.

I just used my hands.

That was enough.

Let those punks try it on with me.

You know nothing.

They're the godfather's private bodyguard.

They're hardnosed bastards.

One's James Bond and the other's Clint Eastwood.

Huh.

Look, I don't care who they are.

Those pansy punks don't scare me none at all.

You know you talk too much.

I want my food.

I've got a real treat coming for you.

(mysterious music)

(clamoring)

Bastard, where'd you come from?

You talking to me?

You wanna learn something?

You sure you want to?

I don't give a damn who you are.

But since you're here with us now

and yet you did not say hello.

Well that means trouble.

That clear to you?

I'm sure that I meant no offense.

The blind guy's making the waves.

Brother, this guy fancies himself as a fighter.

What a stupid jerk.

He's gone too far.

[Bruce] My friend, we've got our own lives.

So why hurt each other?

Let's forget about it.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of you.

Hey brother I reckon the jerk

is taking the mickey.

We better rub him out or he'll say he faced us down.

- Get him. - Hmm.

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Uh uh.

Why?

When dealing with a punk you don't need a gun.

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

(mysterious music)

(zapping)

(laughing)

(laughing)

You bastard!

I'll get even with you.

Let's go.

(groaning)

(mystical music)

He is seriously hurt.

They are such cowards to just beat him up.

My young friend, how are you feeling?

You must have just arrived here.

Yeah, you are?

I'm Wah To.

Wah To?

That's right.

I was doctor to the king.

Now I have come here for my sins

and I help the poor and the weak.

Oh.

He's badly hurt, I have to give him some treatment.

Give me a hand, take him to my house.

- Alright. - Okay.

(light music)

You've been most kind, thanks doc.

(bell tolling)

[Bruce] Uncle, you really are a great man.

You saved me from the fires of hell.

Oh that was nothing, you're most welcome.

You mustn't move around, you haven't recovered yet.

[Xiao Men] Here Bruce.

Drink this medicine.

Oh thanks, good.

My friend, I had something, a favor to ask of you.

Uncle, anything.

Just name it and I'll do it.

Young fellow, I think you've been overdoing it

and I cannot say that I blame you.

But you should just look at yourself.

You're wasting away from too much of it.

Oh Grandpa, don't be so unfair.

When a man's endowed like Bruce

the girls are bound to want him.

He's gotta have his fun.

Eh Brucey?

That's enough.

It seemed like I had everything licked.

Except for just one thing, my Achilles heel.

Right.

I used to play around just too much.

I'm sorry Linda.

Eh, Linda?

Who is this Linda?

Huh.

Linda was my wife.

Oh, Uncle, tell me straight up.

Have I a chance of getting back to earth?

Back to earth?

I can do most things but I am afraid I can't do that.

(upbeat dance music)

(laughing)

Come.

We'll all have a drink, drink up.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Don't act so serious, you must drink too.

Here's hoping you become the king soon.

Thank you, but let's not count the chickens.

But I'm sure with your help to me be bound to succeed.

[All] Cheers.

Exorcist, will you remember me after you've

become the king?

Emmanuelle, you're so beautiful and so wicked.

I give you whatever your heart desires.

Thank you, you're so kind. (chuckling)

Exorcist, I don't understand.

Why do we have to wait around here for so long?

You're wrong.

We won't wait long.

We'll move when we're ready.

The king is such a moron.

I want him dead, it should be easy.

But I...

But then you are afraid of Bruce Lee?

That's right, that's right.

I really think he'll cause trouble.

(chuckles)

Well why the hell are you worrying?

We're all here aren't we?

That's enough.

What's more we've got Dracula

and he can summon up all his zombies to help us too.

What's the problem?

Don't you worry about that Bruce Lee.

He's nothing.

I will take care of him.

Come on, let's have a drink.

[Man] There we go, alright.

Alright shuffling...

Hey, hold it.

You're not shuffling them right.

Huh?

Hey, what are you doing?

Huh?

Wanna play?

[Man] Alright here they go.

11.

There you are.

Open?

I'll see you.

[Man] Full house!

(laughing)

[Bruce] Your house is not full enough.

(laughing)

What bad luck.

I had such good dominoes.

You're pretty good.

(clamoring)

Hey wait, wait on there.

Now this'll be the last game you play.

After that, no more gambling.

- What do you mean? - What's that?

Well just consider.

When you were gambling in the other world what did you do?

You lost all your money and then took your own life.

And now you arrive here you're gambling again

and you get cheated again.

You follow me?

(positive clamoring)

Alright, let's share the money out.

Here you go, some for you, this is yours.

Here you go, take some of that.

Go on, go ahead, take it.

There you are, that's yours.

This one.

Step up, come on, here you go.

There you are.

Here you go.

Hey, what about my share?

Huh, you too?

I'll give some later after I've talked to your sister.

Bastard!

Don't talk to me like that.

Do you know who the boss is of this place?

I don't care even if it's the king.

You're on the button there.

Our boss is the king of the underworld

and you disobey him!

So what if I do?

Let's go.

Hey stop him, stop him, stop him!

(hitting and kicking) (shouting)

Hey One-Arm, if you want the money

(snaps) you follow me.

Madam give me some food will you?

[Bruce] Hey brother.

- Hey brother. - Hi.

Hello.

Give me my money back!

I haven't got it!

Your money?

Now don't you worry, it's all here.

Here, there you are.

[Woman] But not so much?

Not much?

He lost everything that he had on him.

However from now on there'll be no more gambling.

Hey One-Arm, the last time you only lost an arm in fighting.

Don't gamble.

Why not give your sister a hand in her shop?

(upbeat music)

(shouting)

(laughing)

Hey look at that.

Alright, that'll be enough for today.

Let's take a break.

Same time tomorrow. Alright, thank you.

Yeah, bye bye.

Hey Uncle.

My friend, you're tired.

Oh it's nothing.

As long as we fight as a team

those bastards won't dare tangle with us.

(giggling)

Madam, is this Bruce Lee really so expert at kung fu?

Listen, I've heard he's meant to be very generous

to his girlfriends.

I'm just crazy about him.

I wish... What do you wish?

I wish I could try him out for size.

[Man] The king is coming!

What bad timing, just when we are chatting.

And look what he's got in mind, the dirty old man.

Oh. (laughing)

Beautiful, lovely.

Oh what a fine pair of breasts you have.

Oh and what lovely smooth skin.

Oh let me at you.

[Attendant] Easy majesty.

What a surprise to find four such lovely girls

having a quiet bath together.

Have you been gossiping

about the false dimensions of that man out there,

Bruce Lee?

Eh?

Oh how could you?

Of course we weren't.

Oh, don't blame you if you did.

You see I'm out of sorts lately and well

I just don't feel like doing it much anymore, you see.

(mysterious music)

(shouting in amazement)

What's wrong, what's happened to that water?

Call exorcist, go check out this water immediately.

Yes sir.

Make sure you start it running again straight away.

- Yes majesty. - Off you go.

(shouting)

[Man] Quickly run, quickly get out of here!

They've come to collect that money!

They've come to get the money now.

They'll get their comeuppance one day.

(slaps) Are you gonna pay, huh?

You dare disobey me?

Don't you know it's an offense to belt a policeman?

Oh guess what?

Brother, she beat you 'cause she loves you.

(chuckling)

Sure she loves me.

(crying out in disgust)

You fool you!

Attention!

[Woman] Ew, ugh!

Come on honey, come on.

Hey D69!

(suspenseful music)

You son of a bitch you!

You would dare speak ill of my number?

Hey, I don't think you paid your money yet.

(laughing)

What for?

We don't need insurance.

You have to pay!

Why haven't you paid?

(laughing)

Let me inform you with notice from now no more pay.

You morons!

If you don't pay up I'll have you all arrested!

(laughing)

Goddamnit!

(groovy music)

(shouting)

(boings)

(sneezing)

(applauding)

Hey, come on, that's enough, no more.

So it's you again.

You know who we are.

Hey!

Hey, where did you get permission from

to run the gymnasium?

Yeah, speak up!

Shut up for a minute.

This place just happens to be the place

where we all have our lives to live.

(shouts)

Hey, get this through your head.

Now on you don't show your nugs around this place again.

You get that? (shouts)

Hold it!

Don't (mumbles) Lee.

You gave them a going over last time.

This is not like the last time.

You think we stay the same?

Same as always, like slaves?

Don't start treating me like I'm stupid.

You better say you're sorry.

(laughing)

Sorry for what?

Hey he's really a pig ignorant twit, right?

You're right there.

Son of a bitch!

Why don't you guys try attacking me one at a time?

That is if you're man enough.

Challenge me to a fight and if you're the winner

I'll leave here forever.

If you want to fight, I'll oblige you.

But it's a waste of time.

You've lost already.

So start leaving now, get outta here.

Stand back!

(crowd clamoring)

(weapons whooshing)

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Just 'cause I'm blind I'm not afraid of you!

I'll put you straight with my blind man's blows.

So watch out.

This one's called blind man leaps away.

(dramatic music)

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Not bad at all.

I guess it's only fair now that I show you one in return.

(light music)

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

And this one is called the big boss.

Blind man's boss!

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Now enter the dragon.

Blind man's fly swatter.

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

(exciting music)

Now way of the dragon.

Blind man's dirt bike.

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Blind man's (mumbles).

(upbeat music)

Fist of fury! (crying out)

Blind dog's piss.

(shouting)

Game of death!

(sword clangs)

(shouting)

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Bastard!

(weapons whooshing)

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Blind fool, you've had it.

(grunting)

You remember the promise that you made?

Of course.

I said I'd leave.

I can always go someplace else.

I can't stay here so I have no choice.

I can look after myself.

[Bruce] You said it, now get out of here.

(playful light music)

That Bruce Lee guy is really something.

He easily took the blind man apart.

And did I not tell you we had better

be careful of this guy?

Don't worry about him.

Kung fu's no match for a gun.

I'll deal with him.

That's no problem.

I've fought one too many times to pull out now.

It won't take too long, it's a small job.

Not so fast.

I reckon Emmanuelle should do it.

I thought you'd forgotten about me.

I'll get him.

Once I've got his measure.

I love it.

Thanks a lot, this tastes delicious.

And after that you'll have a delicious time.

- Really? - Mm hmm.

Let's have a dance.

Of course.

(waltzing music)

(laughing)

(sultry music)

What are you doing?

What do you take me for?

Don't think you can trick me baby!

I don't know what you mean.

You tried to trick me!

Get out!

You bitch!

(crying petulantly)

- Have a seat, sit down. - Alright.

You're a pretty famous fighter.

How are you feeling?

The same as always.

Then tell me are all of your men here with you now?

That's right.

Please try to understand we ran things when we were

back on earth.

We used to be big shots, we don't like

playing second fiddle here.

Oh, so what's on your mind?

Let me speak frankly.

If you throw in your cards with us you will be

much better off.

Nonsense, look I don't need you guys at all.

I see I'm wasting my time.

I'm gonna be going.

- Hands up. - Don't move.

Mmm.

(suspenseful music)

Quiet.

Is it good?

I'll bring you more if you like.

Xiao Men, you're so kind to me.

How can I ever repay you for what you've done?

[Xiao Men] There's no need to talk like that.

We're just good friends.

And you're a sympathetic listener.

Hey wait here a minute.

(light music)

Hey, shh!

(muffled shouting) (dramatic music)

I'll change into Xiao Men and seduce Bruce Lee.

No wait, let me go up first.

Oh alright, let's play for it then.

One two three.

I won.

Mm.

(mystical music)

Hey, what are you gonna give him?

Be careful, don't exhaust him.

Take it easy woman.

I want him to keep going as well.

This potion can do wonders for a man.

It stiffens his resolve.

You'll see.

But if a woman takes it the result's awful.

Oh?

Xiao Men?

Coming.

Bruce.

(gentle music)

Brucey, you must drink this all up.

No, Xiao Men, I've drunk too much.

I'm not thirsty.

I don't want any more.

Why not try something else?

Come on.

Who are you?

Me?

I'm Xiao Men of course.

Hey, you're acting strangely.

Get away! Oh!

Brucey, don't be so rough with me.

I've heard girls say you could be very gentle.

Who the hell are you?

Just who does it look like I am?

Xiao Men.

From the first day you came

I've been in love with you.

Oh.

You're not Xiao Men.

What are you doing here and who are you?

Tell me the truth!

Well, I will tell you who I am.

Alright, but on one condition.

You mustn't laugh at me.

Alright.

(mystical music)

Oh Brucey. (moaning)

Huh?

Hmm.

You're the queen!

Why do you come to me like this?

You promised me Bruce

you wouldn't start ridiculing me.

Why do you do this to yourself?

Truthfully from the first movie I saw you in

in Hong Kong I knew that one day I'd meet you and kiss you.

You and I have a special affinity.

(groans)

Oh really?

What affinity is that?

Now you get outta here!

Oh Bruce, don't treat me this way, you mustn't.

Please, oh Brucey.

Hey you, it's my turn now.

You can try your best darling

but he seems to be a cold fish.

Huh.

I see so you both decided to come here.

Didn't you expect me?

Yes, and now you can both get outta here

in double quick time go on!

(crying out)

Bruce, you're so cruel.

From the moment you were born I've been deeply

in love with you.

If you don't trust me look deep into my eyes.

I believe you, but thousands wouldn't.

You better leave before I get rough.

Oh you're gonna get rough, oh, beat me then.

If you beat me I'll love you more.

Beat me hard with that terrible weapon and kiss me,

oh kiss me all over and beat me...

What? (gasps)

You bitch.

I met Bruce long before you did.

- He's mine. - He's mine!

I met him first! No he's mine!

Mine! You bitch!

Get out of my way! He's mine!

I'll fix you. I saw him first!

No!

I'll treat you! (crying out)

I'll fix you.

(shouting)

Oh my god you made me drink it too!

I had some too!

Oh my god, no!

We'll both turn into little old hags!

Oh my god!

(screaming)

What is wrong with you two?

My lord, Bruce Lee's been horrid to us.

You must punish him severely.

[King] What has happened to you?

Oh lord, we were attacked by Bruce.

How dare he use his strength?

He, he, he...

Ah, I get it.

I get the picture.

Both of you went to his house to find out for yourselves

and see if what they said about him was true.

How many times must I tell you,

women have got to learn to be satisfied

with what they have?

My lord, why are you sticking up for Bruce Lee?

Why don't you punish him?

He was very rude to us!

My lord, promise me one thing.

You'll give orders to have Bruce Lee arrested,

we'll punish him ourselves.

Huh?

Punish Bruce Lee, that's good.

You two should take a closer look at yourselves

unless you can turn yourselves back into beauties.

I don't want you near me.

You understand?

(crying out)

My lord, you can't give me the cold shoulder.

You know I was legally married to you you know.

[Woman] That's right, you forget all we've done for you.

- Your majesty. - Oh.

Ah.

Oh.

This... This is her.

Oh I understand my lord your comforts are already

being supplied, you're bored with us now aren't you

but I'll kill you! (shouting)

Stop it!

This is the last straw.

I don't want to see you again!

(crying)

So this is the famous Hollywood star Emmanuelle.

Right, she is desirable, she is clever.

And she's mine.

My lord, please forgive me.

I'm such a silly little pussy.

You can spank my botty if you like.

(laughing)

Stop it, you'll drive me mad.

I want to attack you right now.

Beautiful.

Very good.

From now on I want to have you always by my side.

- On one condition. - Eh?

That I do become your wife.

If you don't agree I'd better hightail it out of here.

Oh of course!

Those two little bitches have been

given their marching orders.

From now on you are my wife and therefore my queen.

Really?

Fantastic.

I love you. I love you.

(gentle music)

Huh?

What?

No.

Bruce, you see this? (dramatic music)

Son of a bitch!

They're making trouble again.

Right, then I'll teach them a lesson.

(suspenseful music)

(shouting)

(crying out in fear)

Listen Dracula.

Your zombies can't help you.

Kill him!

(shouting)

(hitting and kicking)

Get him, get him!

(shouting)

(hitting and kicking)

(funky music)

(laughing) (moaning)

Take it easy, gently.

Gently now Emmanuelle.

(moaning)

Oh slow down.

Not so fast Emmanuelle.

You're killing me.

Stupid twit.

If he goes on he'll have a heart attack.

Here.

What's this?

No!

What's it say?

Oh.

Bruce Lee, what are you doing here?

Huh.

I gotta talk to you.

It's most important.

I...

I'm sorry to disturb you.

[King] Probably just as well that you did.

I was getting rather carried away.

You reckon that all of your subjects are loyal?

Loyal?

The exorcist.

Emmanuelle.

Oh.

I see now.

I told her to slow down

but she went faster.

That's it, her pussy's in this plot too.

She was using it to murder me.

Ka Lu Chi?

Yes lord.

[King] From now on the exorcist not to be allowed in here.

Yes king.

(chuckling)

Bruce Lee, from today onwards you are the new

captain of my bodyguard.

(shouting)

What's the matter?

Somebody, someone has stolen the money, the money!

Who stole it?

The new captain of the bodyguard!

And we were lucky to escape with our lives!

That's too bad.

He's done us in the eye again.

(James Bond-esque music)

What's inside?

None of your business.

Well I reckon you got stolen money.

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

(silly music)

(dramatic music)

That's really tough.

If we can't rely on James Bond, who's gonna get Bruce Lee?

[Exorcist] We have to go to the palace ourselves

and kill the king.

Then we'll rouse the royal army against him.

He's full of surprises.

[Exorcist] Used up his guard soon, you'll see.

Let me go out alone and challenge him.

(suspenseful western music)

(gun firing)

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(clapping)

Yay, Bruce Lee!

Bruce, you were great.

You killed every one of those bastards.

Now we're free.

They can't kick us out no more!

(cheering and clapping)

That's right Bruce.

Now we can look forward to a peaceful life.

It's all because of you.

(cheering and clapping)

(ominous music)

It was his last wish that his body be sent to Mexico.

And now they're celebrating with a party

we'll go kill the king.

Right let's go.

Assassin, assassin!

Guards!

(gong striking)

(shouting)

The exorcist, you teamed up with the godfather

to depose me!

(chuckling)

I am doing you a favor.

You are getting too old to be the king.

All you wanna do is play around with the girls.

You're making life hell for all of us.

You're a has-been.

You've no more right to be king.

Guards, get 'em both quickly, quickly!

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Don't come a step nearer or I will shake the pillar.

Don't fool around with us.

You wouldn't try anything so stupid.

You don't believe me?

Alright then, I'll show you.

(rumbling) (shouting)

(crashing)

Hey kick the guy dead!

(mysterious music)

It's a small world.

That's right.

I've been looking for you.

And where's the king?

Because of your stupidity there's been an earthquake

and many people have died.

You must be some kind of con man.

You upset all our records.

I'm gonna kill you!

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

You son of a bitch!

Fingers of fury!

(suspenseful music)

Chung Wei, quick go and find, the exorcist are after me.

Also Bruce Lee is gunning for me and he's bad news.

I've got no more places to hide.

I tell you things are looking pretty hot for me right now.

I have just returned.

I don't know what's going on.

But you're going to have to help me.

I don't want to be the king no more.

I just want to stay alive, that is all.

If you want me to help you out

then you'll have to do as I tell you.

Anything that you say, it's a deal.

Alright.

Attention!

(shouts)

(mysterious music)

[King] Good, they're really very good.

Follow me.

(suspenseful music)

Your majesty, where are you?

Your majesty, I'm coming for you!

Your majesty, over here!

Your majesty, where are you?

There he is, over there.

Do something.

What are we gonna do?

(shouts)

(mysterious music)

You're the captain of my bodyguard.

What are you doing so far from the palace?

I don't wanna work for you no more.

Now speak up.

Why do you have to resort to such dirty tricks

to keep the throne?

Killing all these people in these earthquakes.

What's that?

That's official business.

Royal policy doesn't concern you.

You know once I respected you but now I realize

you're just a cruel old man

and you'll not get away with this.

So this is the punk you mentioned.

Hmm.

Goddamn bastard!

You're annoying my king!

And now that I'm here to protect him

I'm gonna boot you in the arse!

You're gonna get yours, punk!

Cut out the bullshit.

This has gotta stop.

We must have justice.

You ignorant heap of buffalo dung!

I'll give you all this and you won't forget!

Alright demon dozen!

(shouting)

Get this bastard for keeps!

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

Demons go berserk!

(crazy music)

Rush him together!

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

(funky music)

("Popeye the Sailor Man")

(shouting) (hitting and kicking)

(laughing)

(weapons whooshing and clanging)

[King] Oh no please, have mercy.

[Bruce] Come here.

[King] No, have mercy on me.

[Bruce] You, come here.

(shouting)

[Crowd] Kill the king, kill the king!

I know I've been a bad king, please.

(shouting)

No please have mercy on me, oh Bruce Lee, I like you,

oh please don't kill me.

I tell you what, you can be the king if you like,

please, you mustn't kill me, please,

you must have mercy on me.

You can keep your throne, I don't want it.

Oh?

What do you want?

Go on, tell me.

What do you want?

Well alright I want to go back to earth.

Oh alright.

But only you are allowed to go.

Why me?

Why can't the others go as well?

If I let everybody go back

the earth would be an even crazier place.

And I've have no subjects.

I mean what good's a king with no subjects?

Right secondly.

After I've left here, you must promise me

that you'll be good to your people.

You get it?

I get it, I promise, yes yes yes yes yes,

anything you say, anything you say.

(cheering)

Bruce Lee's going back to earth.

(mystical music)

Xiao Wen, don't look so sad.

And madam, after I've left here please look after her well.

Yes.

Don't worry.

(whimpers)

Huh.

(shouting)

(laughing)

And you, get up now.

You tell me the way back to the earth.

Oh yes...

And don't try any tricks!

If you mess with me again I'll make shark bait of you!

Oh yes well it's there.

Now just close your eyes.

Hold it.

My friends, take care.

Thank you.

Alright now, you ready?

(dramatic music)

And off you go!

(shouting goodbye)