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This is KAUZ, Channel 6, Wichita Falls, Texas...

...serving northern Texas and southern Oklahoma, USA.

So, it's good morning to you, Texoma.

It's 7 a.m. And 82 degrees in the shade...

...on this very sunny Tuesday, July 10, 1984.

Looks like it'll be over 100 degrees again today...

...and still no sign of rain.

Now here are the headlines.

President Reagan, appearing before the Texas Bar Association in San Antonio...

...said his administration is ready to meet with Soviet negotiators...

...to discuss banning weapons in space.

Now fully recovered from his colon operation last month...

...Reagan said he was especially pleased that the Republican national convention...

...was taking place in Dallas this year, starting August 20.

The President's running mate, Vice President Bush...

...in the meantime, has been in Illinois trying to enlist...

...blue-collar support for the Reagan-Bush campaign.

Cuba, East Germany, and Vietnam have all joined the Soviet Union...

...in their boycott of the summer Olympic games...

...starting July 28 in Los Angeles.

In a surprise announcement, however, Romania's president Nicolae Ceausescu...

...says that his country will participate.

Democratic presidential candidate Walter Mondale...

...has completed a tour of Texas with a stop in Houston...

...to talk with business and civic leaders...

...about the impact of declining oil prices on our state's economy.

Yesterday, NorSea crude closed at $16.25 a barrel...

...down 33 cents, while gold and silver prices have fallen...

...to their lowest levels since August 1982.

Since the first of this year, Mondale noted, oil has dropped $12 a barrel.

Most experts agree it's headed lower.

Mondale offices noted that a woman running mate...

...won't change his commitment to pick the best person.

New York representative Geraldine Ferraro...

Back in a minute with more news, but first, these words.

Hi, neighbor. I wanna talk to you about a friend of mine.

His name is Jerry Dunlevy.

Now, Duane, you're just gonna ruin that brand new doghouse!

I guess I'm trapped out here in the country with a man who's going crazy.

I'm glad we sent the twins to camp.

They'll probably get kicked out in a day or two.

They'll commit incest or something.

No, it's a church camp.

They'll just pray for their horrible little souls.

Nellie probably doesn't even hear them. I bet she's got that Walkman on.

Duane, why are you poking that gun in the water?

I was thinking of shootin' my dick off.

It's caused me nothing but trouble my whole life.

Just 'cause you're having a midlife crisis...

...I don't think you ought to try and shoot your dick off!

Why not? It don't work half the time, anyway.

I wouldn't be the one to know about that...

...but it's a small target and if you miss, you're gonna ruin our new hot tub.

Don't sulk, Duane. You left yourself wide open for that one!

Any checks, Ruth?

I finally got $37,000 from those crooks in Oklahoma...

...but it's just a drop in the bucket.

- I'll get to that after lunch. - Lester Marlow's called three times...

...said he needs you to send over a check for $12 million.

Said the federal regulators are coming today and he needs it.

He gets nervous at the thought of going to prison.

Said he'd rather have a hot check than none at all.

I feel sorry for Lester.

I doubt if those federal regulators are within 100 miles of here.

All bank presidents are nervous.

We need to talk.

We talk every day. I don't have your $12 million.

You want my rigs, take them.

Or I could send you a check and just postdate it a few years.

Marylou left me this morning.

Left you? And went where?

She hasn't actually moved out yet.

She made me take my sleeping bag and says I can sleep on the office floor...

...for all she cares.

Women have a heartless side to them, don't they?

This whole town is heartless!

Nobody's losing any sleep because I have to stand trial...

...for trying to protect their interests.

I wish you'd talk to Marylou.

She respects you, Duane.

She's on the centennial committee.

- Guess I'll see her at the meeting tonight. - Would you?

I'll drop by the bank later.

Okay. Thank you.

Marylou kicked Lester out.

I knew that several hours ago.

That makes one more footloose woman in this town.

Suzie Nolan is also footloose now.

I intend to give both a wide berth.

I don't know why we're even talking about this.

Because the oil business has gone belly up...

...and there's nothing for you to do but sleep with every woman you can find.

Could I have a check?

I ought to give Lester a few thousand.

Why don't you go see Jacy?

I doubt she wants company.

She might, though.

I would, if I just lost a child.

Thought you hated Jacy.

I don't hold grudges for 30 years.

She was just a girl then.

Besides, tragedy changes people.

Just sits alone in her daddy's big house, grieving for that child.

The thought of it preys on my mind.

Doubt she'd even remember me, Ruth.

You remember her, don't you?

Why should her memory be worse than yours?

I just meant we aren't friends anymore.

I think you'd rather go pick on footloose wives...

...than help a woman you used to love who's had a tragedy.

She lost her parents, too.

You're scared you'll fall in love with her again?

I wouldn't know how to fall in love with anybody.

I'm too old for it.

You never get too old for it.

If it's such a fine thing, why don't you do it?

I'm too broke to fall in love.

I can't forget the fact that I owe $12 million long enough to get serious.

Ten years from now you might not remember you had this debt...

...but you'll always remember Jacy, and you'll always remember me.

If I have to remember you, where will you be?

I'll be in the afterlife.

I just hope you can find someone competent to keep your books.

Stay there.

Suzie, no!

Listen, you're my wife, and I'm your husband.

Why can't we just sit down like two normal people and talk?

Junior! Come on. Let Suzie go! Your breakfast is gonna get cold.

See you at the meeting?

See you then, Suzie.

Sonny was never even in the backfield, you know, not like Duane.

Speak of the devil.

Looks good, doesn't he, Lavelle?

- Morning, boys. How's it going? - I've got an answer to this oil crisis.

- Charlene. Lavelle. - Let's just bomb OPEC.

Napalm it or use H-bombs?

I don't know if you can buy an H-bomb.

Why not? Still a free country, ain't it?

Do you think women want it more than men?

- Want what more? - Sexual intercourse.

- Sonny! - Mornin'.

Charlene, I found my car. Hi, how you doing, Lavelle?

Junior here wants to know if women need more sex than men.

- I didn't say "needed," exactly. - Don't look at me. I'm a bachelor.

What's wrong, Junior? Is Suzie giving you some headaches again?

- Nothing special. - Women sure know how to give headaches.

- I guess I'd have to agree with that. - Cheer up, things get better.

Duane, you know who dropped into the Kwik Sack...

...in the middle of the night? Jacy Farrow.

She just looked through a few magazines.

I guess you're the only one who's seen her since she's come back.

- Is she still as beautiful as ever? - She never took off her dark glasses.

She's beautiful, but she's old.

Let's get the girls in on this.

Junior Nolan here was wondering whether women want more sex than men.

I think they should need it equal, males and females.

Don't you think so?

What are you lookin' so red in the face about?

- Y'all talking about sex? - I'd better hit it. Ain't gettin' cooler out.

We got to go to work.

I don't see what you've got to laugh about.

It's either laugh about nothing or cry about everything...

...and I didn't feel like crying.

Karla's chased off all the women except herself.

I guess it's time to go to work.

Who's all going to the centennial meeting tonight?

What happened to the pioneer spirit?

People in this county don't deserve a centennial.

- Phone call for Duane or Karla! - I just left.

Me and Shorty got urgent business down the road.

- Hey, Genevieve. - Mornin'.

- How's the leg? - It itches. Did Sonny find his car?

I didn't know he lost it.

Third time this month he's forgotten where he left it.

- How's the leg? - Did Sonny find his car?

I didn't know he lost it.

Your son Dickie just got arrested for doing 85 in a school zone.

Not only that, he was pulling a trailer.

You get him out! I got him out the last three times.

I'm not gettin' him out this afternoon!

I think I may go to Dallas and spend a few thousand dollars!

You think Jacy would mind if I just rang the bell, Shorty?

If that generator ain't started before I'm out of earshot...

...all you lazy sons of bitches are fired!

Get up, goddamn it!

Get that pipe spinning! 10 minutes is up. Now, let's go!

Get up there!

You can go home, Dickie, but slow down, boy!

- Sorry, Monroe. - Asshole.

You've got a world of opportunity ahead of you.

You should try to do something useful while you're young.

Selling dope is useful!

Cheers people up when there's sandstorms and they're going broke.

You'll think "useful"...

...when some Mexican catches you and chops you up with a chain saw.

Shit. Billie Anne's here. Let's stop a minute. She's got a temper.

- What's she so mad at you for? - Gossip.

I wish we lived in New York so people wouldn't gossip.

They should outlaw it.

Gossip does a lot more damage than drugs.

Who were you sleeping with that Billie Anne found out about?

Mrs. Nolan and Mrs. Marlow.

Say it again just so I'll know I'm not going crazy.

Suzie Nolan and Marylou Marlow.

I don't know how it got started.

Now, Mrs. Marlow left her husband and Mrs. Nolan's fixin' to.

Do Junior and Lester know about this?

Yeah, Billie Anne called them and if she's here, she wants revenge.

All right. You'd better go till the dust settles.

Come on, Shorty.

Come on! Get over here!

It's about time you came home.

- Where's that boy? - Gone to Louisiana.

I don't guess he cares if he broke this girl's heart.

Billie Anne.

Nellie. Little Mike.

Hi, Daddy.

They say the best way to teach a kid to swim...

...is just to drop him in the water.

Guess what, Daddy? Me and Ed got engaged today.

Ed? I didn't know you were divorced from Hal yet.

I suppose you know Dickie has wrecked two homes.

Three. He wrecked ours, too, and we hadn't even started it yet.

I wouldn't pay too much attention to rumors.

A lot of idle gossip gets gossiped in Anarene.

They had to carry Lester Marlow off to the quiet room today.

He went crazy. Threatened to cut his own throat with a razor.

Said he'd had enough.

He probably just felt like a day in the quiet room.

He won't cut his own throat.

Junior Nolan was last seen buying shells for his deer rifle.

It ain't deer season.

It's Dickie season.

It won't do no good to hide him. I'll get him eventually.

Don't you threaten my fiancé.

Put that gun down, Billie Anne. Little Barbette might have trauma for life...

...if you shot somebody right here by the hot tub.

Let's put the guns away and talk it over like civilized people.

Junior? Billie Anne?

You folks got any steaks?

This thing's had me torn up so much, I forgot to eat.

It's had me tore up, too. I know just how you feel.

We could all go to the steak house.

Our steaks are in the deep freeze.

We'd all be so drunk, no telling who'd get shot...

...by the time they thawed out.

I'm so hungry, I could eat one froze.

I hope this is a short meeting.

Maybe I can catch up with you and Junior later.

I feel real sorry for Junior.

I think it's sweet there's one husband left who really loves his wife.

There's probably lots of husbands who love their wives enough...

...not to want them sleeping with Dickie. Lester, for example.

Must be 10 years since you wore anything I didn't have to read.

Marylou, Suzie.

This should be a short meeting.

Souvenirs are all coming in next week. That'll be one worry off our minds.

Now...

I was wondering if we can't come to some compromise...

...about Texasville.

Not me. There ain't no compromising with what's right.

Now, GG...

...Texasville was the first town in Archer County and the original county seat.

This is gonna be a big celebration and we want that Old West flavor.

Not if the flavor is bourbon whiskey!

I ain't votin' to build no replicas of saloons and whorehouses!

What if we just...

What if we just put a small replica of Texasville...

...right there on the courthouse square during the festivities?

Put a saloon and a whorehouse right here in the heart of town?

That's a good idea. I move that we build a replica...

...of Texasville in the courthouse square.

- I'll second it. - All in favor, raise your right hand.

Opposed?

I'm looking right at two people who just voted against the Lord.

I just voted against you, GG.

In the interest of safety, I propose we authorize the sale of beer...

...on the lawn during the centennial.

I second it.

Safety. How's the public gonna be safe if it's allowed to get drunk...

...right here in the middle of town?

We're gonna provide army cots so people can just sleep it off...

...and drive on home in the morning.

All those in favor of the motion, raise your right hand.

Opposed?

You can floorboard these votes through all you want, Duane.

You are a sinner! Your wife is a sinner!

Your kids fornicate and sell dope!

I don't claim to be perfect, GG.

That's just what I told Junior, and it didn't do no good.

- It didn't do no good with Lester, either! - Good night, Marylou. Take care.

- Good night, Duane, Sonny. - Good night, boys!

Good night, Marylou. Good night, Suzie.

Good night, Joe Bob.

- Good night. - Good night, Sonny.

Do you think...

...I'll get raped in prison?

I doubt you'll even go.

Maybe they'll let you do some community service...

...like mow the grass on the football field.

Butt fuckin' doesn't appeal to me.

It'll be one of those country club prisons.

- Are you going to take bankruptcy? - No. I don't plan to.

- Why not? Your position is hopeless. - Nothing's hopeless till you're dead.

My marriage is hopeless.

Marylou and I haven't slept together in months.

She just gets in the car at night. I don't know where she goes.

But we have sweet children.

I hope the girls don't turn against me while I'm in prison.

You worry too much.

Marylou likes excitement.

She says I'm not exciting anymore.

It's hard to stay exciting for a whole lifetime.

Hope you get to feeling better.

What's the matter with you?

Dickie don't love me.

It's just good fun to him.

I do love the little rat something terrible.

But don't leave me.

I don't think I can fit in through this window.

Shoot, I told Junior we needed a station wagon.

I think I'm stuck!

What's the matter, Beulah?

Daddy's dead!

He fell out of the car and rolled off into a ditch!

No! But he was gonna be the star of our whole centennial.

It's my fault!

I got on him...

...for missing his tobacco can when he spits!

So he opened the door, and he tried to spit, and he fell out!

What's on T.V.?

- Lavelle. - Finally.

Old Man Balt nearly got killed. That's why I couldn't come by.

Maybe we can sneak off this weekend.

I don't really want to.

Night, Suzie. Say hello to Junior!

Who is it? I'm watching a movie.

- Is Karla home? - No. I ain't seen her.

- If she shows up, tell her I went fishing. - I will. Bye.

I wonder who else I can call who'd hang up on me?

- Take care, Lester. - See you.

Howdy. Didn't mean to scare you.

I'm not scared.

I guess I just assumed I had this lake to myself.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

Jacy, I'm Duane Jackson.

We went together in high school for a while.

Duane? Lord. What a place to run into an old boyfriend.

You live in a boat now, or what?

No, I just hide out in one now and then when I'm depressed.

I heard you got rich. What are you depressed about?

Nothing serious.

Did you get rich?

Yeah, pretty rich.

I drive by Los Dolores once in a while.

I thought about ringing the doorbell since I heard you were there.

Why didn't you?

I've got to sit in a boat all night to get any privacy myself.

I'm shy about meddling with other people's.

That's mature of you. If you had rung my doorbell...

...probably I'd have been rude.

Was it you I went skinny dipping with?

No, that was Lester Marlow.

But I was your favorite mermaid anyway, wasn't I?

Ring the doorbell sometime. I'd like to hear about your family.

Yes, Mrs. Wallace. I understand that.

Yes.

Reverend Peabody, I can't tell you...

...how sorry I am. It's just a terrible thing!

It's Dickie.

Is he in jail, dead, or what?

No, married.

He and Billie Anne went to Bowie on a honeymoon.

They've been secretly married for three weeks...

...and Billie Anne's mother is having a nervous breakdown.

She won't be the only one. Come on!

You've got to get the twins. It's the camp director.

They've been kicked out, just like you predicted.

- He'll be there. Thanks, bye. - What are you crying about?

Her fiancé disappointed her.

Would you please hush that crying? Ed didn't mean to be unfaithful.

He gets blind after 25 beers and can't tell one woman from another.

- What'd he do? - He tried to kiss Billie Anne...

My own sister-in-law!

What'd the twins do?

Julie posed for naked Polaroids for some sixth grader...

...and Jack got on top of the shit house and dropped a brick on the toilet.

It broke and pretty much flooded things.

They'd appreciate it if you'd come down before lunch.

Where were you all night while I was going crazy?

I told Minerva to tell you I was going fishing.

When people interrupt my movies, I'm apt to forget their alibi.

Where is Junior?

He's upstairs sleeping in the guest room.

- How come I never get a honeymoon? - You've had plenty of honeymoons!

You have one every time you meet a boy!

All right, Barbette. Are you ready?

Okay, sweet girl.

Have happy dreams, now. Okay? There you go!

Nighty-night, now.

What'd I do now?

You'll know when you get the divorce papers.

I told you, I went fishing.

You know who I saw swimming across the lake?

Jacy Farrow.

I hear she's aged a lot.

Why did she ever go to Italy in the first place?

I think she went there with some sorority sisters from S.M.U.

Guess she liked it.

I hear they only let her be in Tarzan movies.

I'd like to meet her. She's interesting.

When you get to that camp, get all the dirty Polaroids...

...and I want you to lecture the twins all the way home.

I've been lecturing them since the minute they were born.

Come on, Shorty!

Who's that with Lester?

Lavelle? Lester and Lavelle?

How do you like that?

Coming up.

- Where you on your way to? - Bridgeport, to get the twins.

I'll park and go with you. I need to get out of this miserable town.

Bye now, Marylou. Say hi to Lester.

Your son's a stinker.

Want to hear how he seduced me and ruined my life?

I don't know if I do. I got a lot of bad news today already.

I might be pregnant.

Would it be Dickie's or Lester's?

Dickie's! I told Lester I couldn't be his outlet anymore.

He is a good father, though.

Sometimes I feel guilty...

...but mostly I feel it's everyone for themselves. Know what I mean?

Yep, I sure do.

Dropping that brick on the toilet was a total accident.

I was trying to drop it on the kid taking a shit...

...but he moved too quick.

I don't see why you sent us here in the first place.

These people are all Jesus freaks.

Your mom thought it would be a good idea...

...for you to learn about the Bible.

All I did was let a little boy from Nocona take a few pictures of my pee-pee.

What's wrong with that? You and mama go naked in the hot tub.

Are you and Ms. Marlow gonna get married?

Of course not! She just felt like taking a little ride.

We're just friends.

Go on! Get in there, now!

Suzie.

Junior's still at my place.

That's a heck of a way to eat French fries, Billie Anne.

Have you noticed that...

I just stole all your sweetest sugar, grandpa.

- A lot of good sugar! - Guess what I did, Duane?

Every time I've guessed, I've been wrong.

See, Duane's got that dour personality, just like you said, Jacy.

He's reluctant to take a chance.

A man that ends up with a bunch like this has taken a chance or two!

Good point.

- Mama bought us a house. - I bought that duplex.

Dickie and Billie Anne can move in on one side.

Nellie and Ed can live on the other.

- Save on rent. - Mama's good at finding bargains.

I know, I just wish I was as good at finding money.

- Is it fun to be a movie star? - Not unless you're more of one than I was.

I think I'll be one. I don't want to be no millionaire.

You should bring your girls home sometime.

They can stay at our house if they get on your nerves.

It's the other way around. I get on their nerves. They're very critical.

- How many girls do you have? - Two, one your age and one Nellie's.

They're such little Europeans. I don't know what they'd think of Anarene.

I can barely get them to New York.

That's all the sugar supply for the day, grandpa.

You'll have to wait till tomorrow.

Thanks for lunch.

I'll show you the house, and we'll compare notes tomorrow.

- Compare notes on what? - On you, honey pie, what else?

I want to know what you were like in high school...

...and Jacy wants to know how you turned out.

Don't tell her how I turned out. It'll just depress her.

Bye, kids. Hope to see you pretty soon. Ciao.

See you tomorrow.

That girl's really put on weight.

She was skinny as a rail when she was in high school...

...wasn't she?

Yeah. Kind of skinny.

Karla's with Jacy again.

That's not exactly news, now is it, Marylou?

Please say you'll play Adam in my pageant.

Why don't you get Dickie to play Adam? He thinks he is Adam.

What makes you think I'd ever speak to him again? The little rat.

It is a good thing Lester fell in love with Lavelle.

I'd never direct this pageant...

...if I had to keep breaking his heart three times a day.

It's kind of lucky for Lester, too.

Do you think Jacy might agree to be in the pageant?

She'd be a good Eve.

It looks like Suzie would get curious why Junior lives out here now.

Must have heard it on the grapevine that you're in love with her.

The grapevine has misinformed you again, honey.

Every time you call me "honey," there's a lie involved.

She didn't love you forever, did she?

Nope.

Are you sad?

I guess.

Jacy's real curious about you.

I think sometimes she wishes she just stayed here and married you.

How about it? Duane? You awake? You got your ears on?

Yeah, I got you. Go on.

I think Libyan terrorists have kidnapped Sonny Crawford.

He's been gone all night.

They said on T.V. They sent in a bunch of hit squads.

Didn't say they sent them to Anarene.

Lee Roy says Libyan terrorists got Sonny.

- Karla? - Hi, Genevieve.

- Did he leave a note? - No, he didn't.

You got a cup of coffee for me?

Yeah.

- Did you see him? - No, he wasn't here when I came to work.

Just the same old town.

I wish you boys would go on home, now. We gonna find him.

Hell, it depresses me to go to work and not to get to shoot anybody.

- Come on, let's check out the hotel. - You ought to shoot Lee Roy.

He's the one that got us up this early.

Come here.

Just makes me want to cry forever, looking at him sitting there.

Let's go have some breakfast.

Oh, no.

Anybody watching the Kwik Sack?

Genevieve's there.

You worried me so much. What were you doing up there?

I was just watching a movie.

I mean, I was imagining I was watching a movie.

It's just kind of like I got this VCR, and it's...

...in my brain.

It's just, I can't remember leaving.

- Come on. - I guess people are gonna think I'm crazy.

- The Kwik Sack's going to lose money. - You didn't lose any last night.

You made a good $75 while you were watching that movie.

How many tests can they do? It's been over three hours.

Sonny doesn't understand us very well.

He thought I was going to jump out of the car...

...just 'cause you're in love with Suzie Nolan.

I'm not in love with Suzie Nolan.

She's a step up from Lavelle Bates, I admit that.

Now, you've got another young woman...

...you'll probably do more with than you ever do with me.

Suzie Nolan's not three years younger than you.

I knew I'd get a confession out of you.

Arthur is 15 years younger than me.

He probably knows how to do things I never even heard of.

He did.

That's kind of ancient news now.

Arthur was a big disappointment to me, you know that.

I don't blame Suzie for wanting you.

Junior's a total dud.

Claims he took a headache pill two years ago...

...and has been impotent ever since.

What do you and Jacy talk about all day?

I wouldn't tell you if you were the last person on earth.

Broke my heart seeing Sonny in the picture show.

Then I realized that wasn't what broke it.

It was already broken.

You broke it.

Seeing him just made me realize I didn't have a whole heart anymore.

What was wrong with your head, Sonny?

The doctor did a lot of tests.

We won't know anything until the results are in.

There's a lot of things I could have.

A lot of things Duane's already got.

There's three messages on the machine from Lavelle.

I'm in a big hurry. I got to go Odessa. You finished typing that proposal?

Yeah. She sounds desperate. I don't know if she'll last the day.

She'll last the day.

I didn't think you was the kind to leave a desperate woman in the lurch.

- Lavelle? - Hello?

I think I'm pregnant by Lester.

Somebody must be making a fortune off fertility drugs in this county.

Now, Marylou says she won't even give him a divorce.

She says she's pregnant, too, but Lester says it's impossible.

- When can you come by? - It'll have to be tonight, maybe.

I got to go to Odessa right now.

You hang in there. This is not the end of the world.

Okay.

Looks like you'd leave that stupid dog at home sometime.

That dog is the only person who really loves me.

Howdy.

Run along. I don't like you anymore.

Why not?

Because I think you're behaving like a horse's ass.

I might not be quite as black as I've been painted...

...if Karla was doing the painting.

You're probably blacker. Karla still loves you.

She doesn't even think you're a horse's ass.

I had to figure that out for myself.

You want to play Eve in the centennial pageant?

Eve?

Director asked me to ask you.

And I suppose you're gonna play Adam, right?

Maybe. Adam hasn't been cast.

Call Marylou Marlow if you're interested.

She's the pageant director.

Hello, puppy. Where you going, Duane?

I have to go to Odessa. It's the worst town on earth.

I'd like to see the worst town on earth.

I've certainly seen several of the runners-up.

Come with me.

Scenery's not much, but we could catch up on one another.

Let's go in mine. You can bring the dog.

My car's messy, but more comfortable. I might want to take a nap.

- You don't mind if I take the dog? - Bring him.

I like to study people and their animals.

Odessa's uglier than this, I'm not sure I believe that.

- Why are you going there? - I'm in debt.

I know, $12 million. Karla said.

There's a man in Odessa who might help me out if he's there.

I'm sure your daddy knew him.

- Are you going to be awhile? - I could be one, two hours, maybe.

Then I'd like a motel room. I don't need to see any more of this.

But I insist on keeping the puppy with me.

He might bother you.

He gets kind of frantic when I'm gone too long.

You afraid I'll woo your dog away from you, honey pie?

It's a big risk.

If you could get me back, you wouldn't have to spend time...

...making deals in ugly towns, would you?

I might put my daddy's fortune at your disposal.

I never had you in love with me.

You had me in love with you, and that was in high school.

That's a good point.

Did I have you madly in love?

Madly.

Guess I once could summon some pretty mad love.

Hope you're not gonna be too long.

This looks like the kind of place I could get real depressed.

I won't be over two hours.

Come on, puppy.

Guess we're in this together.

You make your deal?

I didn't get turned down.

I didn't get turned down.

I can think hopeful thoughts for two or three weeks at least.

That's something.

Yeah.

You want the other half?

Here, puppy.

Big pickle.

And welcome back to Odessa.

We're talking about Barnell and Betty Sue Banks.

Betty Sue, Barnell, very good to see you.

I wonder about little couples like that.

They look silly, but maybe they're great in the sack.

I've had silly-looking men who were.

I guess I'm too far in debt to care about anything but getting out.

That's not what Karla thinks.

Karla thinks you get fucked every five minutes. Do you?

No!

- My favorite part... - I like the...

Do you think she goes down on him?

I don't have any idea what they do.

You certainly have a dull attitude towards television.

What's the point if you don't speculate...

...about the sex lives of people on game shows?

Come on, Shorty.

We're leaving our little home away from home.

You'd been married, I hear. How'd you do?

I did fine. Are you so far in debt that it would bother you to rub my feet?

Nope.

You ought to watch more game shows.

You see some lucky people on game shows.

That's one thing I haven't tried, getting on a game show.

Game shows are what life's really like.

Win things that look great at the time, but turn out to be junk...

...and you lose things you might want to keep forever...

...just 'cause you're unlucky.

You're pretty good at foot rubs.

Are you really attached to that dog?

He's my dog.

Or else I'm his person. However you want to look at it.

I hate to tell you, but I think I've won him away from you despite my vow not to.

Maybe it's time you two tried a trial separation.

You want him? You want Shorty?

He's the most hated living thing in Archer county. People included.

Come on, he's not Hitler. He's just a dog.

I have to let some living thing back into my life...

...even if it is just your scroungy, old dog.

What do I feed him? I don't want to hurt his digestion.

His digestion?

You can feed him dead skunks, ground-up rocks, and nearly anything else.

Can I have him, then?

Sure, if he'll go.

Thanks.

And for showing me the ugliest town in the world.

I'm really glad you could come. We really didn't catch up, though.

Let's not bother catching up.

I hate talking about the past, and not just because Benny got killed.

Sorry.

It's just one of those things you say.

Real glad you went with me.

Yeah. I liked that motel room.

Tell that woman I'll be Eve. I've got to stop being so reclusive.

Causing the fall of humanity might be the challenge I need.

She'll be thrilled.

I'm not mad at you, honey pie.

Shorty, you're too damn dumb to even know what's happening.

I won't punish you at all if you'll just climb down now.

You try.

I've been standing on this chair so long I'm getting dizzy.

All right. Come on, now.

Come on, Mike.

Come on, Little Mike. Where's Julie?

He'd come down for her.

They've taken up residence at Sonny's store.

Said it's too crazy here, which is right.

I'll whip your butt if you don't get down here right now!

Where is Nellie? She's his mother, let her bring him down.

Nellie's over at Ed's explaining why she don't want to be engaged.

What is the matter with Billie Anne?

Dickie smashed all her new furniture with a tire iron.

You ought not to leave me alone on days like these.

I can't even get drunk.

Faster I drink, faster things happen to sober me up.

Plus, I'm real worried about Junior. Bank called his notes today.

Called his notes? How many?

All of them. Junior just went down the tubes.

If they can call his notes, they can call mine.

Where is Junior?

Took his lariat rope out of the pickup and went off walking down the hill.

Probably hung himself by now.

Let him alone. He doesn't know he's done wrong.

He deserves about 100 spankings!

Go on.

I talked to Jacy. She says Shorty's a wonderful companion.

I guess she was just real lonely and didn't even know it.

I guess so.

It was real sweet of you to give her your dog.

Junior ever come in?

No. And I hope he don't. He's just another mouth to feed.

You ought to show a little sympathy.

The man just lost everything he worked 45 years to get.

He's down the hill trying to rope an oil well right now.

Watch out, now. Don't hurt yourself.

What you doing, Junior?

Here. Have a biscuit.

Not like you to brood.

I haven't done anything but brood for the last six months.

There isn't anything to do around here but brood.

Where's Shorty?

He went off to live with Jacy.

How's Jacy doing?

- I think she's doing pretty well. - You might not be the best judge of that.

You've been living with Karla most of your life.

Karla's buoyant. Not too many are that buoyant.

I like Karla. You're lucky she married you.

Must be the one thing I've done you approve of.

No.

I think it's nice how you let Jacy have your dog.

You keep this office too dark. No wonder you brood.

Sunlight helps you keep a cheerful disposition.

Then how come there's so many sad people around here?

There's certainly no shortage of sunlight.

Sometimes sadness is just in people. Look at Sonny.

He was sad when he was a teenager. Just never got rid of it.

Sonny avoids me. I only see him at meetings.

I'd avoid you, too, if I was Sonny.

You're successful, and he isn't.

What do you mean? I'm stone-broke!

He's the mayor, owns the hotel, Kwik Sack and two or three other solvent businesses.

May not be Exxon or Mobil, but they're solvent.

I'm the one who ought to be sad!

Some people can only see defeat.

You're not that way.

I might be looking right at defeat, myself!

What you reading about?

Reading about Italy. I might move there. Need to get away from Billie Anne.

You just married her.

Stupidest thing I ever did, too.

Stop it, Daddy, please stop it!

That's a good idea.

I think I'd better stop it.

Dickie, I'm sorry.

There's absolutely no reason for me to behave that way.

I'm real sorry.

I didn't hurt you, did I?

No. I just feel a little queasy.

I'll get you a Coke. It'll help settle your stomach.

Billie Anne told your mother that you smashed all the furniture with a tire iron.

She lies every minute of the day.

All I did was kick a lawn chair and break my toenail.

I owe you another apology.

I should have known you wouldn't do that.

She's a good liar.

Mrs. Dalone thinks I should just leave.

Mrs. Who?

Mrs. Dalone. You know, Jacy.

She says I can live in her house in Italy if I want to.

Did you...

...and Mrs. Dalone really go together once?

Yeah, we sure did.

We went steady in high school.

Italy. That sounds fine. You're young.

You should see the world.

You don't have to make the oil patch your whole life.

- Been your whole life, though. - That's my limitation.

It don't have to be yours.

Billie Anne will have a shit fit...

...when she finds out I got Mrs. Marlow pregnant.

It's not too smart to get too many women in love with you at the same time.

That's what Mrs. Dalone says. I tell her everything.

- She gives real good advice. - What'd she say to do about the baby?

Wait and see if it looks like me or Mr. Marlow.

She says you can't trust married people to tell the truth about their sex lives.

Even if they claim they never do it...

...she says they probably do it once in a while.

Are the twins here?

They were. Jacy came and got them.

She's in for some fun and games.

They're good kids, they're just full of mischief.

Mischief, plus homicidal tendencies.

How's your brain problem?

I got some pills.

Yeah, they work?

I haven't seen movies in the sky.

I haven't lost my car lately. I guess that's an improvement.

You don't seem too convinced.

No. The pills make me feel like I got fuzz in my head.

Sort of a warm fuzz. Not a great feeling.

I'd rather see movies in the sky.

Maybe you ought to lay off the pills till the centennial's over.

We're all gonna need our wits about us once that gets started.

I think my wits live somewhere else now.

Where is everybody?

They're spending the night at Jacy's.

All of them?

All of them but me.

Karla wasn't sure if Jacy gets the good cable.

She says to tell you she'll see you at the pageant rehearsal tomorrow night.

Testing.

Testing.

Here, let me take her.

Come on, baby.

Testing.

You can stop saying "testing." The mike's obviously working fine.

How's life without a single soul to come home to?

Jacy, I'm glad you're here! We have so much to talk about!

I want you to come over here...

Okay, now, Adam and Eve, over here in the Garden of Eden.

Come on, Adam.

It's not gonna hurt but for just a little while.

All right, I'm coming.

Okay, we'll put the tree...

...with the forbidden fruit on it right here between you.

Duane, you're here. Jacy, you're here.

When you wake up, hold your side so we know you're missing a rib.

I'm missing a brain or I wouldn't do this.

Give me this baby.

I don't think that Adam and Eve had had their firstborn at this point.

Remember when I was homecoming queen?

I sure do.

Bet you never thought we'd be standing here thirty years later...

...as Adam and Eve.

Never would have thought it.

I feel like we are in a way.

I feel like we're the Adam and Eve of this town.

Okay, you're gonna have to sing the song...

...from over here this time.

Come over here.

Your mother's leaving.

- Okay. Bye, Ruth. - Bye.

Don't dawdle around, now.

The baby's got to go to bed.

There's my ride. I got to get going, girls. I'll see you later.

Adios. Sayonara.

Goodbye, Duane.

Come on. We're coming.

Genevieve.

I don't see no fish.

I wasn't fishing. I was just boating.

I wish I could boat. I never could afford one.

Dan and I were saving up to buy a boat when he was killed.

I guess his coffin was our boat.

It wasn't a month after Jacy's folks were killed in that damn plane of his.

What a year!

You can borrow this one anytime.

- No, I can't even run a boat. - Rarely use it.

I been fishing off this bank all these years.

Lee Roy, what's going on?

I think we hit that Mississippi!

- We did? - I think we hit that sucker!

We're going to need four more extensions down here.

How about that!

After three extra innings, the Anarene Wildcats have done it again.

As usual, every player gets a free Dr Pepper...

As usual, every player gets a free Dr Pepper...

...at Sonny's Kwik Sack.

Good night, folks. Y'all drive safely, now.

Little Mike!

Julie, get him.

I guess I missed the game.

Guess you did. Jack's team won. Your wife's back home.

- She's back over at your place. - Yeah?

Are you angry at me for kidnapping your family?

No. They want to live with you...

...that's fine.

- You do miss them a little, don't you? - A little.

I guess you'll just have to suffer. I'm taking Karla and the twins...

...to Europe right after the centennial.

For good?

Of course not. For a couple of weeks. It'll do them good to see Europe.

Besides, I need them to help me ease back into life there.

Be sure and take Dickie, too.

If he stays here, his wife will probably shoot him.

If not his wife, somebody else's husband.

Maybe he'll fall in love with one of my daughters.

Maybe you and I might have grandkids in common.

You don't understand Dickie.

If I was in the mood for love, I wouldn't let my daughters near him.

I'd keep him for myself. He's one in a million.

And why aren't you in the mood for love?

What does it matter to you?

I'm not telling you why.

If you want to catch a glimpse of your wife, you'd better run...

...and catch it while the catching is good.

Come on, Shorty, get in the back seat.

What a surprise.

Don't try and be witty. I'm watching a movie.

I didn't see Junior's pickup. Did he finally go home?

You don't keep up very well, do you? He and Billie Anne ran off together.

Dickie's happy as a lark.

He's already filed divorce papers accusing her of desertion.

She might come back if things don't work out with Junior.

You look great.

Why wouldn't it work out with Junior? He's sweet.

Don't everybody have to be macho, like you.

I don't think I'm macho.

I didn't used to think so, but Jacy's explained all your problems to me.

Why did Jacy have to explain my problems to you?

She hasn't seen me for years.

You've seen me every day for 20 years.

Why didn't you explain my problems to her?

She has lived in Europe. Don't get uptight.

I am uptight! I can't help it! I don't know what's going on.

She says she's taking you and the twins off to Europe, maybe Dickie, too.

- I don't know what's going on. - Nellie wants to go, too.

Why can't I go to Europe?

I've never been to Europe. Maybe I'd like to go!

And leave your oil well just when you finally got one?

If all you have to do to understand people's problems is live in Europe...

...then I want to move there!

I don't understand anything! Everything here is going crazy.

People are running off together at the drop of a hat.

One kiss, they're gone!

That's just the way life is.

Please talk quieter. You're going to wake the baby.

I don't know what's going on between you and Jacy.

That's okay, because that's none of your business.

I told you not to go imagining things about my life.

Why can't I?

Because you don't understand a thing about women, and you never will.

I guess I know a few things about you after 20 years.

How many things are there to know about anybody?

There's three or four things to know about you.

- There's a million things to know about me. - Name a few.

New things every day. They don't have names.

They can just be feelings.

Like these little plants I read about in National Geographic.

They only bloom one hour in 20 years.

I have little feelings like that.

One might only bloom once during our whole marriage...

...and you'd be sitting right there, two feet away and never notice it.

And remember, folks...

...this centennial weekend runs three big days and nights.

That's three big days and nights.

If you miss the pageant at the rodeo arena tonight...

...you got two more chances to see it.

- Here you are. - Two, please.

Get on out of here!

There's three big dances, too.

One every night right here on Main Street.

Come on out here every day and every night.

Who said you could put up a tent with a mattress in it?

I'm fasting for an oil embargo and she's fasting for a no-fault divorce.

In the old days, you two would be stoned with rocks!

Go away, or I'll shoot you, you old bully. I shot two people already.

And you'll be three.

You brazen hussy! You ridiculous jezebel!

You think I'm afraid of you and those penny pistols?

Remember, now, this centennial weekend runs three big days and nights.

Here's $20,000.

Don't forget I gave it to you.

Somebody will find it after I'm gone.

- Gone? Where? - After I've committed suicide.

The centennial's off to a good start now. I don't see any reason to wait.

Lester, this well might solve all our troubles.

That's one reason to wait.

Didn't you read the Wall Street Journal this morning?

The Saudis are gonna open up the pipes.

They're gonna show us $5 oil if that's what it takes to get our attention.

- They're probably bluffing. - What if they aren't bluffing?

What a life!

My wife's about to bear you a grandchild...

...your old girlfriend's about to bear me a child...

...and unless I'm very lucky, I'm headed for prison.

What do you think the state of Texas will feed felons if oil goes to $5 a barrel?

They're gonna make us eat our own toenails.

Or they're gonna make us eat each other.

You should be glad your family's moving to Europe.

Getting out of this madhouse.

Karla and the twins are just going to Europe for a couple of weeks.

- You didn't hear the story I heard. - What did you hear?

I heard that Karla and Jacy were in love. It didn't particularly surprise me.

- It didn't? - No. They're both advanced women.

What's Dickie doing in a Porsche with Suzie Nolan?

I don't know.

I think everybody in the county's waited till now to go crazy.

Mr. Mayor!

Lester, who's watching the bank?

How you doin', Lester?

- Genevieve? - Yeah?

- Here's for some Excedrin. - Help yourself.

Bring a chair out here and sit down for a while.

You look tired.

Here comes Jacy.

Get up here.

Come on!

Stop this float.

That girl never would let you alone.

Yeah, but she's not a girl anymore.

The older we get, the more dangerous.

Better run along.

I don't know why you want me up there.

What's the homecoming queen without the captain of the football team?

She'd be like Eve without Adam.

Don't remind me. We still got that Adam and Eve skit to get through.

What do you mean, "get through"? I'm looking forward to it.

Don't you think I'll make a good Eve?

You'll do fine. I'm the one I'm worried about.

Been trying to relax all day, but everything that happens makes me more nervous.

- Including being up here with me? - Yep.

To them, we're a romance.

Come on, wave at 'em.

Wave!

There goes Duane!

I never heard of anybody being wired to a horse before.

What if his horse falls down and squashes the old soul?

Shut up, Lee Roy. Nobody's ever got hurt riding Dobbs.

Hell's a-poppin'!

Look at this crowd!

Never been this many people in town before.

Here they come!

There they go!

Look at that old man go!

Down!

No. He's tilting.

He sure is.

Be right back.

Let's hear it for Dickie!

You look a little pale.

Was you worried I'd be killed?

I think I might have broke one or two ribs when I jumped that kid with a snow cone.

Boy, that was quite a ride!

God, you're stodgy.

It's just an update on my homecoming queen kiss.

I figure I should get to kiss you...

...in the rodeo arena at least once every 30 years.

It's ironic you broke all your ribs right before the Adam and Eve skit.

I wonder what a psychiatrist would make of that?

I didn't break all of my ribs. I just broke three.

That doesn't affect the irony, honey pie.

Wish we could go swimming.

You don't have to really wait around.

The doctor can bring me after I'm bandaged.

Eve's not supposed to run off and leave Adam...

...just 'cause it's summertime in the Garden.

- Guess we're the only ones in the hospital. - And it's full of beds, too.

I don't want you to try and fuck me.

I wasn't going to.

No, but you'll tie yourself in knots thinking about it every time we're together.

If you'd just relax about it, we could have a certain amount of fun.

Don't guess I know what you mean.

Conversation, for starters. Why don't you start one, for a change?

I guess I get scared I'll say something wrong.

You talk to every other woman. What if you said something wrong?

Think I'd banish you forever for some small conversational lapse?

- I guess I must think that. - Then you're not scared of Karla?

I'm plenty scared of Karla...

...but, she and I, we've survived a lot of mistakes.

I imagine we'll survive a lot more.

I think you could possibly even survive a few with me.

You have survived a few with me, in fact.

I don't think my ribs need bandaging all that bad.

Maybe we should just go on back to the pageant.

Okay.

Why did you take my family away?

They're fearless. I need that.

I thought some of it came from you...

...but now I don't know, maybe it all came from Karla.

You're even afraid to sit here with me.

You're scared to death you might feel something you can't control.

We're almost there.

Hope the coach ain't back.

He won't be home for hours.

Just turn it into the garage, Sonny.

Okay.

Hello. I hope you weren't having a nice dream.

How come you stayed away from the dance?

Probably 'cause I gave him a hard time.

He probably spent the night feeling guilty and wishing he knew how to treat women.

- Mexican eggs are ready. - Let's eat. I'm starving.

Duane just enjoys sulking around by himself.

- He's not very glad to see us. - Let him alone.

He's still sensitive from the hard time I gave him.

What did happen at the dance?

Jacy danced all night with Dickie, and I made do...

...with whatever drunken slob I could get.

Why don't we sell this house?

We don't really need this $2 million son of a bitch.

You think there's anybody around still rich enough to buy it?

Some lawyers, maybe. Bankruptcy lawyers.

If they're not rich enough now, they soon will be.

I forgot how in debt we are.

Maybe it's because you're falling in love with Jacy.

Love's the one thing that'll take your mind off money troubles.

I'm not falling in love with her.

She don't think so, either, but I know better.

You do, too.

You're just too scared to admit it.

I'm too middle-aged to be in love.

I'm lucky to have you keep me moving through my midlife crisis.

- You hit that one on the button. - Where'd Dickie get that Porsche?

Suzie Nolan bought it for him. They're real lovey-dovey now.

She bought it for him? Her husband had all his notes called...

...he's fasting to death on the courthouse lawn and she buys that?

I think it's nice that Dickie likes older women.

He's not a snob about it, like some men.

Hi, Ruth.

No!

It's a good thing the little girls weren't hurt.

We'll come right on in.

- What did Dickie do now? - It's not Dickie. It's Sonny.

He just drove his car right through the wall of the Stauffers' house.

I want to live in the jail.

It's only a block from my room. Besides, it's cleaner.

When I'm feeling in control, ask Monroe, he'll let me out.

Says I'm a pretty good cook.

Play cards with the deputies. Might cheer them up.

What did you see in your head when you ran into the house?

I didn't see the house. Used to be a garage there.

Ruth and I parked in it when I used to bring her home.

I just did it exactly like I used to.

He's just lucky those little girls were outside.

Maybe you'd better come on out and live at our house.

- I couldn't live in your house. - Sitting in the hot tub's real good therapy.

Not with lots of people.

No. Jail.

Best solution.

I'd give up my driver's license, too.

And I'm gonna go help the Stauffers get in that new house that I gave them.

I don't want him to go away.

I'd have built him a house out by us.

- That way he won't get on your nerves. - He's already gone away, honey.

He's just gone away to the past.

Come on, hit him! You can hit him!

May not get much of a crowd. Lester's bank closing, that put people off.

That's not how it works. The less bread, the more circuses.

- Damn it, I left my outfit at the house. - Take my car. You'll make it.

I really feel bad about Sonny.

If you'll talk about something besides Sonny you can sit here.

You're kind of cute when you're depressed.

When you're at your most hangdog, I sometimes have the impulse to hug you.

I may hug you sometime, but if I do, it's not something you should misinterpret.

I wouldn't dare interpret anything with you women.

Stop saying "you women." I'm the only woman here.

You think I lost Karla?

Why? Did you really want to keep her?

Yeah, I do.

You males like to get things settled, don't you?

It's nice to know what's happening.

You mean it's nice to know who's gonna take care of you.

But you're scared to find out what you want to know...

...which is whether I seduced your wife.

No, I didn't ask you anything like that.

I don't know about you.

It's possible you're really pretty nice...

...just too attached to the linear principle or something.

Better go get your outfit, Adam.

It's nearly time for us to start the human race.

All right.

At one time, this was headquarters...

...for a firm that boasted more than 750 employees...

...and a payroll between $18 and $20 million.

On January 18...

How are you doing?

I think I'm gonna sue the town. It's the town that's driven me crazy.

I think it's done it to you, too.

- I think we're all crazy now. - I don't think I'm crazy.

I admit, just about everybody else is.

Sure you are, Karla.

You drink gallons of vodka and you have tacky boyfriends.

Duane has tacky girlfriends.

Boy, are you in a bad mood.

For your information, I like vodka...

...and sometimes, Sonny, it's tacky or nothing.

No, we're all crazy. We should all sue the town together.

We are the town. There's no point in suing ourselves.

Wonder we were ever best friends.

Why?

You're the town success.

I'm the town failure.

It's been that way ever since high school.

You wouldn't think a winner and a loser could ever be best friends.

- Duane? - Yeah?

I could be considered a loser myself.

- I've never done very much. - You're not a loser, though.

If the only reason I'm not...

...is 'cause I'm married to a winner, then I am a loser.

Will you stop calling yourself a loser? You're a beautiful, wonderful woman.

I don't want to hear you talking like Sonny.

If I'm so beautiful and wonderful...

...how come you sleep with tacky girlfriends instead of me?

You didn't really spring to my defense when Sonny was insulting me.

I wanted to hit him, but...

...last time I hit him, I nearly put his eye out.

It's interesting, you hit him over Jacy, didn't hit him over me.

Think she'll ever marry again?

No. I wouldn't, either, if you got killed.

You would, too. At least, I hope you would.

Better not hope any such thing.

Just 'cause I go looking for trouble doesn't mean I want any husband but you.

- What made you say a thing like that? - I don't know why I said it.

I'm retreating as fast as I can.

He thinks he's my police escort.

Duane said he hoped I'd get married again if he died.

He did, did he?

I was just thinking of your happiness.

What's the matter? Why are you all packed up?

You're broke, that's why.

Can't afford to pay me. Nothing to do, anyways.

Business is dead.

It's not dead.

- Still got three rigs working. - I don't see why you won't face it.

You're broke.

When you came to work for me, oil was $3 a barrel.

Now, it's $16 a barrel.

That's not as good as $30, but it's...

When I came to work for you, you weren't $12 million in debt.

$16 is the price today. It'll go a lot lower...

...before it stops going lower.

Okay. Leave if you want to.

That old guy in Odessa said no go on my offer, anyway.

Don't sit there and look like that.

Didn't think you'd quit me.

I'll stay if you just want me around...

...but I won't take a salary.

It wouldn't be right. You've been very good to me.

Think I've lost Karla?

Do you want to keep her?

Why is Sonny living in your trailer?

Why do you think you can live with someone who's crazy?

Sonny's a very mild person...

...and he loved me once.

I would have been dead long ago if Sonny hadn't loved me.

Think it's my place to take him in.

You're getting awful Christian in your old age. Sonny is getting sicker.

One week he thinks he sees movies, the next week he thinks he's in movies.

He's way past help by amateurs like us.

What if he wakes up some night...

What if he wakes up some night...

...thinks he's in a movie, and it's The Boston Strangler...

...and he strangles you or something?

I really wish you'd let me try this. I'm an old woman.

- Nobody'd care much if he strangled me. - I'd care.

I'd kill him if he hurt you.

Maybe he won't.

Anybody says one mean thing to me, I'm putting on my earmuffs.

We're writing down our hopes and prophecies for the next 100 years.

They're gonna seal the time capsule tomorrow.

My hope is that nobody says anything mean to me for the next 100 years.

It's not my prophecy, though.

He's been kind of snappish lately, ain't he?

If you want to participate and be a part of the family...

...why don't you just sit down and behave?

Her little boy was younger than me and he got killed.

- I'd never get killed. - Hush, it's bad luck to talk about it.

It was a cable on a movie set that killed him.

It wasn't covered up like it was supposed to be.

He just brushed against it, but it was so full of electricity...

...that he didn't have a chance.

Now look what you started, talking about poor little Benny.

I wouldn't have brushed against the cable. I watch for things like that.

You shut up! You've never been on a movie set.

You don't know what you'd do.

- You could've put that baby's eye out! - You don't know what you'd do.

You might be killed in five seconds!

Asshole!

All right! Don't you hit your sister!

If I catch you, I'm going to whip your butt!

I can't live in this house anymore! It's driving me crazy.

- Where are you going now? - To beat up Jack.

He shouldn't say he knows what to do on a movie set.

Sweet family you got.

Not too stable, though.

There's Suzie Nolan!

Hi.

Dickie tell you?

- Tell me what? - We're getting married.

I'm gonna be your daughter-in-law.

Here's the engagement ring he got me. Isn't it pretty?

- I think I'll drown myself. - I'll be good for him.

Already got him to stop selling dope.

That's good, but that don't mean you have to marry him, does it?

You know, Marylou thinks she's pregnant by him.

Sure. It's okay with me. Dickie'll make a great daddy.

Maybe I'll bear you a grandson, too.

I just heard that GG's gonna sledgehammer old Texasville!

God! You can keep the beer, Suzie.

Wait a second. It's a little late to start knocking down the saloon.

The sinners are already drunk.

The Lord don't expect me to win every battle.

He just expects me to keep fighting.

It's punishment time!

The Lord is raining egg bombs, and it's hailing.

He's set loose the crazy chickens!

Lord.

He's freed the Hens of Hell!

Where are you getting those eggs?

From an egg truck!

I just got gang-egged or egg-banged or something.

It's the last night of the centennial...

...and you haven't danced a single dance with either one of us.

I would have, but watching Dickie gives me an inferiority complex...

...where dancing's concerned.

Just 'cause you're a little bit inferior, no reason to be depressed.

Don't look so sad, honey pie.

You're such an easy victim, I guess we just can't resist.

Don't baby that man.

Why, he's been suckering me for years with those sad looks of his.

I don't think it's an act. I think we're looking at a sad man.

Are you?

No.

- You shouldn't lie about your feelings. - You might fool one of us, but not both.

We know you too well.

I don't think either one of you knows me very well.

Dickie's coming in a minute.

It's too hard to dance on all those broken eggs.

We're gonna go out to Jimmy's, dance to the jukebox.

You want to come along?

I think I'll take a walk.

Come on, honey pie. Go dancing with us.

We'll make up for all the mean things we ever said.

Somebody responsible needs to stick around here.

The twins, they started this egg fight. They might get arrested.

You see? He's always got some excuse for not having any fun.

I think I'll just take a walk.

Bye, honey pie!

Sorry.

Can I come in?

I wish you would.

I'm going first.

When those two get into sex lives, we won't have no youngsters anymore.

That's right. You think we'll even be together?

Didn't we just start our comeback?

Yeah.

- It was a real sexy comeback, too. - So why wouldn't we be together?

One little sexy comeback don't mean you can say for sure.

You put part of me at peace.

You haven't said a word that would set my mind at peace.

I'm hungry for some breakfast. You want some eggs, Lee Roy?

I've lost Sonny. He snuck out while I was showering.

I doubt he'll go far. Come eat breakfast with us.

We have to look for him! I don't know what he'd do.

I don't want anything to happen to him.

- He's not at the hotel or the Kwik Sack. - I haven't seen him.

Maybe he's at the arena. He might've left something there.

All right. I'll ride with Ruth and Genevieve.

Oh, my.

No! Make it end!

Help!

No!

No!

Let's sit down a minute, honey.

Sit down and rest.

Sit down and rest.

I'm not tired.

Come on.

We're starving. Let's all go eat breakfast.

You want to, Sonny?

Okay.

I am a little hungry.

I guess it is breakfast time.

Come on. Let's go, then.

Come on.

Here. Let's all get in my car.

We're all going together. Come on.

Sonny, why don't you get in the back seat with Ruth.

Come on, honey.

They're after your dog.

Look at those kids. Just look at those kids!

It's like Benny's here.

It makes me feel something of him's alive...

...when I see kids doing things like that.

All children don't die.

Maybe the ones that are alive...

...carry the lives of the ones that die.

You know what I mean?

Got to turn around.

Of course you don't know what I mean. Your little girl and boy are right here.

It's just...

...for a second, now and then, when I see your kids...

...it's like Benny's here, too.

You don't know how precious that is to me.

What's wrong with Uncle Sonny?

I guess he's just a little tired in his mind.

If he makes a run for it now, I'll get him right away.

I don't think he plans to make a run for it.

These centennials are awesome. I think we should have one every year.

- Lee Roy, you want to get Julie's bike? - Yeah, all right.

Come on, Shorty. Let's all go get some breakfast.

Get over. Go on.