Original subtitles

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

You pick up one of these in anger...

and you'll never put it down.

You and me, we're connected.

And there's unfinished work here.

She's hiding something.

I know it.

There are only two things

that scared me in this world when I was alive.

One, ghosts. The other one, Lady Bullseye.

Ito-san!

Killer of killers.

Huh. Eh, you know what? That actually sounds pretty badass.

Now, grab a sword. That thing's rad.

You would like to meet its sister.

The new prime minister of Japan is Shinji Yokohama.

Hello, Bryce.

Oh, my God!

I have physical form!

Come on, you got this.

You have come for me, haven't you, Monkey?

Don't do it, pal. Look, I made this mistake before, okay?

Akiko won't forgive you.

Shinji Yokohama,

I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Ken Takahara.

It can't end like this.

What did you do, you animal?

- Mm, mm, mm. - Huh?

You know, I got to the afterlife,

and it was an awesome place.

You know, fire everywhere, super dramatic.

I was like, you know what?

My friend's up there all alone,

and I think he needs my help.

So I figured, you know, we'd go to New York,

kill a whole bunch of assholes who deserve to die

and maybe, uh, you know, see the sights.

Oh. Holy shit!

Hey, look, look! I'm ascending!

Oh, my God!

Monkey, I think you know how I feel about you, okay?

And I-I'm sorry for ruining your life!

Just take care of yourself, alright?

And remember to drink plenty of water!

Where... where am I?

Where... where am I?

I-I-I don't belong here. Okay?

I-I did the right thing!

I'm a... I'm a good guy now!

You can never undo what you've done.

You've killed in anger, in spite.

Your soul, Bryce McHenry, is cursed.

A-a-are you the manager here?

Because I have some complaints, you know,

namely, uh, this hook buried in my asshole, yeah?

Oh, I am sorry you are disappointed with the arrangements

but this is what happens to chodes like you.

Or did we not make that clear in the literature?

Literature? Oh, no, see, I-I didn't get any lit...

Are you talking about the Bible?

No, w-w-w-wait! Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Look, th-this, this can't be the end of the line for me, man.

You had one function, to shepherd the Monkey.

Your purpose with him is fulfilled.

No!

- Okay, yeah, but what? - What about his purpose to you?

To me?

Yeah. I mean, you don't want the adulterers, you know,

the souls who skipped on parking tickets.

You want killers!

The real tasty ones, you know.

And Monkey can give that to you, alright?

He's-he's your top earner.

Then why would I need you?

Because without me,

he's just a sensitive little furball

takin' baths and eatin' fruit, you know?

He doesn't have an appetite for the work, okay?

But I, I could keep him on the right path.

I could keep him hungry.

You are certain it's not someone else

you wanna go back for?

It's too late to fix the past.

No. No, man. Come on.

I swear.

Look, look, j-just send me back up there,

and Monkey and I will be serving you

the fillet mignon of shit bags all day long.

You're gonna love it, I swear.

Hey! Hey, hey! We have a deal or not?

Ya dick!

Wha-what? No!

♪ The boys are back ♪

♪ The boys are back ♪

♪ The boys are back ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm back, sliced up and my chain is gold ♪

Woo-hoo!

Welcome to the last supper, ya bitches!

♪ You got a nine to five, I got a five to nine ♪

♪ Pumping bass out the side from the fresh out pines ♪

♪ My chain is low and it weighs more than me ♪

♪ I'm the king of this jungle I was born to be ♪

♪ Got the keys to the city in the palm of our hand ♪

♪ When you see us walk by scream as loud as you can ♪

♪ The boys are back ♪

♪ The boys are back ♪

Hey, man, it's a whole new city, okay?

We gotta slum it for a while, make a name for ourselves.

Now, once we get an agent,

we can then start taking out some real bad guys, yeah?

And, hey, look,

it's not like that mobster was some innocent little angel.

Eh, uh, tax evasion, alright?

All those faulty loans he had.

Also, all the murders, you know?

Alright, this ain't working. Hey, can we get another round over here?

Immediamente.

♪ Why you still in the subway and I'm in the cab ♪

♪ So give me the mic and pump it 'cause we always staying on track ♪

♪ Yeah, the city will cheer with trumpets ♪

♪ 'Cause the kings are back ♪

♪ Got a fresh can of paint and you know my tab ♪

♪ They try to hold us down but the boys are back ♪

♪ It's going down ♪

What does the card mean?

It means after four goddamn months of slumming it,

we can ditch the flophouse and go make some real coin.

Okay, her name is Eunice Jones,

but most people call her The Handler 'cause, you know,

she handles shit, you know?

Like, gettin' you way more money.

I mean, she was my agent, and I owned this town.

She's definitely who you want representing you.

Well, no, except for the Tokyo thing,

which was, yes, a massive cock-up.

But honestly, she's a big, big deal.

L-l-look, I get it.

Killin' doesn't feel good to you anymore, alright?

But it's your destiny, remember?

Besides, plenty of people hate their jobs, okay?

It's literally somebody's job to jack-off horses.

You wanna trade with them?

Those hands of yours just wrap around a giant horse dong,

just work that son of a bitch up and down like a shake weight.

Will you relax? It's a front.

She used to run it out of a wine shop,

but her clients kept drinking all the merch.

Plus, she gets a little side cash from the funerals.

Oh, there she is.

Uh-uh.

If those aren't the ones with the chewy middles,

you can piss off right now, Bubbles.

Hmm. Nougat.

Eunice Jones. I've been watching your work. Big fan.

Welcome to the Majors, baby.

Listen, you gonna find out that I am available for you 24/7.

If someone doesn't pay you, I will massacre them.

If someone tries to double-cross you,

I will find them, rip their asshole out,

and fry it up like calamari.

Oh, she ain't lying either. I've seen her do it.

Now I did some checking, and I know you have a code.

Uh, you have morals.

And I respect that. Not many people will.

Tell me more about you.

Tell me what you are looking for.

I didn't understand a single thing that you said,

but, uh, what I can say is that

I get that you are looking for a home,

someplace to call home?

Well, that's what we are, bruh.

Family.

Oh, oh!

Aw. Look at that.

Still represented here. I'm touched.

Yeah, except that one.

He died. Foreign job.

You know, I feel bad about it,

but to be honest, I don't miss working with him.

Okay.

Bryce was a bit of a narcissist.

We used to just say charming.

- Womanizer... - Really?

...alcoholic, breath stank,

- always late. - Oh, fuck this.

I mean, it's kind of a lesson in how

this business can break you.

What the living shit?

Wait a minute. Are you telepathic?

'Cause we can totally mark... Whoa, whoa!

Wait a minute.

I gave Bryce those glasses as a birthday present.

Did you know him?

Is that son of a bitch here?

Okay, I'm officially going back to church.

That's our favorite Scotch.

Bryce?

Wait a minute. What are you doing? What are you doing?

You know that's $2,000 an ounce!

Look, if this is about Tokyo, I...

Bryce, Bryce.

No, Bryce, please. Not the Louis...

Monkey! Tell him to stop!

Okay, okay, okay. The contact went rogue!

I thought you'd talk your way out of it.

You always talk your way out of it like you always...

Okay, I fucked up, okay, Bryce?

Is that what you want to hear Eunice say?

I looked at the dollars instead of the client, okay?

I got blinded by all the zeros.

But I swear, Bryce, I didn't know that you would get killed.

It was an international vetter.

So much shit got lost in translation.

But you have my word that I learned from that.

Look, I know I can't make things right for you,

but you know damn well that I can help this monkey.

And because I feel so bad,

I'll only do it for like, um, what, li-like, 20%.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! Fifteen. Fifteen's fair.

We good? Fifteen is fair.

Okay, don't trust this scumbag as far as you can throw her.

But definitely sign with her. She's the best.

Damn it, Bryce!

Ah, I'm sorry. I'm still working these powers out,

but fuck it, you know?

Let's make some money!

Yeah. I just couldn't bring myself to sell your apartment after you died.

Aw, 'cause it reminded you of me.

My accountant said I'll probably be able to retire off of this.

Woo, the real estate in this area is on fire.

Jesus Christ.

But it's yours now, Monkey.

Apartment 7H.

I would show you up, but I got court side seats to the Knicks

and, uh, I believe in them, Monkey.

I believe in them.

We'll be in touch.

Well, the Knicks haven't been good since '93,

so no need to rush!

Wow, wow, wow!

I never thought I'd see this place again.

No, I didn't have anything stolen.

It's a bachelor pad. This is how I had it decorated.

Oh, and this is coming from the guy

who used to shit in his hands.

Ooh...

Now there's Feng Shuis going on,

and there's other Shuis and there's...

Oh, my God, it's totally depressing, isn't it?

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Someone's here.

Ah, Jesus Christ!

What the heck?

"Jesus Christ, what the heck," is what I should say.

I was wondering how long it would take you to get here.

Tokyo went to shit after Shinji's death.

I tried to clear your name, but no one would listen to me.

I was an inconvenient truth.

No, you know, I actually have a theory about that.

It's that people are dicks.

Political infighting, bitter recriminations,

a total breakdown of civility.

Reprisals and power grabs turned the streets into an open turf war.

No one was spared.

Everyone was a target.

Not even the cops were immune.

Take 'em out!

It looked like we were gonna be able to hold them off,

but that's when this... thing showed up.

A man, a demon, something else, I don't know.

All I saw was this pair of glowing yellow eyes

as it mowed down everything in its path...

...even its own men.

We took cover in the evidence room.

It was the safest place we had.

But then we saw what they were after.

It was Bonsai Master's sword.

Haruka, go!

Go!

Our Captain died a hero that day.

Bought me enough time to escape.

And to save this.

Holy crap.

Talk about things I never thought I'd see again.

If they were after Bonsai Master's sword,

they might be after yours, Monkey.

And the only lead I had to you

was Bryce's address that I found in his police files.

- Police files? - It's been super depressing

waiting here for you guys.

You really lived like a loser, Bryce.

Oh, yeah?

Well, would a loser have banged

the Channel One weather girl right where you're sitting?

I can't hear you, Bryce, but I'm sure you said something snotty.

Anyway, a lot of people died

trying to get their hands on this.

I still haven't figured out why.

Hey, rich people collect weird shit.

I knew a guy once who only collected famous people's nail clippings,

like going all the way back to Napoleon.

Seriously.

Had a whole wall in his house dedicated to it.

I shot him in front of it, in fact.

Some might say I "nailed" it.

Up top, come on!

- Is he saying anything helpful? - Uh-uh.

Okay, fine. Look, I know a rare weapons dealer, okay?

Good buddy of mine. We used to spend weekends

trying to build up a tolerance to cyanide.

If anybody in New York can help us figure this out, it's him.

Unless the cyanide killed him.

What's happenin', people?

You must be the friends of Bryce who called.

How is that son of a bitch?

Dead.

Oh. Well, that doesn't surprise me.

- What, why? - He was a bit careless...

- What? - ...and self-absorbed.

- What? - And money hungry

- and kind of a dick. - Eat my ass, Carl.

Pretty much just an all-around sad, soulless man.

No one deserves this.

Anyway, let's check out these swords.

Okay.

It's ancient, 1st century, maybe older.

Yeah, way older.

It's a mythical weapon of some sort.

I've only seen one of these before.

You haven't wielded this yet, have you?

No. I haven't taken it out of its scabbard.

Don't. It'll fuck with you in a major way.

Weapons like this can possess you.

They have a soul.

You become one with all the people who have used it before.

Also, if anyone else carries a weapon like it,

they might be able to track you.

Oh, so worst possible case scenario.

What about Monkey's sword?

We were told they were sisters?

Uh, stepsisters, maybe.

It's a facsimile, a fake.

I mean, it's a good weapon, certainly.

All I'm saying, it's nowhere near as old as this one.

Appraisals are $100 apiece.

Hold on, we're done? That's all you've got?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was supposed

to do an entire goddamn TED Talk for you.

I can make some calls about it. You wanna leave it here?

- Um... - Hard pass.

- Rock hard pass. - Yeah, we'll take it with us.

Oh, hey, about Bryce,

he owes me 500 bucks for this pair of nunchucks I lent him.

You know if he had a will?

Or a shoebox full of blood money or something?

Anything?

Fuck!

You can put it on my tab, Carl.

But to be honest, I don't miss working with him.

You really lived like a loser, Bryce.

Pretty much just an all-around sad, soulless man.

It's too late to fix the past.

Come on, asshole. Get it together.

Ah, goddammit.

You never contacted her, did you?

I went through all that goddamn work to find your daughter,

and you couldn't even walk your ass across the street and say hi.

And now you're dead.

You sure she really wants to hear what you've got to say?

- I wouldn't. - It's all too late now.

Freeze! Who are you?

- What are you doing here? - Freeze?

- What are you, a cop? - I'm not really sure anymore.

It's complicated.

Okay, while you figuring that out,

who are you and why the hell are you in my client's apartment?

Put your gun down!

Uh-uh, you put your gun down.

Gun down now!

My gun is bigger than your gun.

What? Size doesn't matter!

Oh, the size always counts, baby!

The size always counts!

This is ridiculous.

- What, you know this asshole? - You know this asshole?

What are these? Dirty pictures?

Hey, stop that, will ya? Put those down.

Let's just cut the shit.

I have a job for the monkey.

It's a high-value target.

Lots of money.

Small window of opportunity.

And get this, he's a real dirt bag.

Just your type, furry.

Monkey isn't here to kill for money.

You can't just exploit him like that.

Okay, you know what? I'm done.

- Everyone, out of my apartment. Let's go. - Exploit him?

Who do you think is paying for all of this?

- Guys. Hey, guys. - Leave it to a cop

to think that everything is free.

- Enough! - Whoa!

Okay. Jesus.

Sorry. Fine, do the hit.

Satisfy the man.

And I'll go visit Carl and get some answers.

Oh, gee, thank you, officer,

for lettin' us do our job.

Here. I brought you a phone so I don't have to come here no more.

Oh...

Well, this is the address.

Looks like our target's in the penthouse.

Oh, my God, stop being so sensitive.

You heard Eunice. The target's a total douche bag.

They deserve to die. Besides, you have to do it.

You don't wanna let her down on the first gig she booked for ya.

Get out of here, you!

No monkeys allowed in here!

How'd it go? Yeah, I know, I'm kidding.

Hey, if you just killed that guy, we'd be taking the elevator

instead of having to Tom Cruise it.

Spend the bullets, save the time.

I keep trying to tell ya.

Huh, maybe I got the wrong floor. Might've lost count.

And by the way, see this?

It's called minimalist, like my apartment.

See, I have rich people's taste.

Penthouse taste.

Somebody's maid's about to get fired.

Wait, is there something in the oven?

Oh, shit.

Monkey! Do you see it? I'm doing it!

I'm awesome!

I'm a superhero!

They should call me Bryceler 3000 or Doctor...

Oh, crap! Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, still trying to figure these powers out, you know.

I know, it's weird. I mean, why set us up on a hit?

They could've just gotten us at the apartment

lounging on the couch next to...

Oh, my God. Haruka.

Hello?

Anyone here? I had an appointment.

I was in yesterday.

Bryce's friend.

Oh, God!

Oh, shit.

Okay, hurry up.

We haven't missed Haruka's appointment by much.

Hey, there she is!

Holy shit!

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

- Let me in! - Uh, uh, not today.

Asshole!

Take the shot! Do it! Take the shot!

What?

It's bulletproof?

Oh, sweet Jesus!

Shit, shit, shit!

Holy smokes.

Oh...

Oh, wow, so we're doin' some serious leveling up here, kids.

My sword tried to warn me when the cat was near,

and I could feel its energy.

I was someone else.

Violent, powerful.

It was intoxicating.

I know. And terrifying.

Hmm?

That's, um, that's her, my daughter.

Her name's Iris.

She's worked here for a year.

I never contacted her.

But I'd watch her from here almost every night.

She's a horrible waitress.

This is as far as I ever got, though.

I mean, what good would I have been to her anyway, right?

No, it's better to keep her away from my life.

♪ I have cried ♪

♪ Many tears ♪

♪ All those rivers have brought me here ♪

We're gonna find out who is responsible for this,

and we're gonna massacre their ass.

I want a body and a voice.

Done.

What's this all gonna cost me?

Nothing. For now.

Well, I'm still a ghost. All I know is that

I've literally gone through hell to talk to you.

Monkey, I believe we're on the same side here,

fighting the same war.

Hi.

- Huh? - Hello, creepy child.

I'm your father. This is your first dead body.

I wanna be there for you to hold your hair back when you puke.

Monkey, are you alright?

No!

This family could save the world.

We have the chance to be heroes.

Let's get violent!

Hey, Judas.

Are you not entertained?