Original subtitles

Oy!

Miss Leyton?

MAN: Miss Leyton, mum.

WOMAN: Miss Leyton?

Monsieur Alex,

Lord Henry Norton's Chef de Cuisine.

I'm Mrs.Catchpole, his housekeeper.

Please sit down.

We have here a letter applying

for the position as assistant cook

in Lord Henry Norton's household.

You enjoy cooking, Miss Leyton?

Yes, ma'am.

Miss Leyton, why do you wish to come here?

I want to come here to work and learn things

from a proper French cook like yourself, sir.

Your references are good,

but it appears you haven't worked before

in an establishment such as this one.

No, I haven't, ma'am, but I've always wanted to

ever so much for years and years.

Have you been long in service?

Oh, yeah, I have, ma'am.

Me mother took me away from school when I was 12

and put me into service.

I done everything, really:

scullery maid, kitchen maid, tweenie,

scrubbing girl, and cook, of course, last year or two.

What standard of cooking have you reached?

Oh, not too bad, I don't think.

Nothing really special or fancy.

That's why I want to come here, to learn.

We aim to achieve a very high standard

of service in this household,

and that means rules.

We do not allow followers.

MISS LEYTON: No, ma'am.

You're not in any way attached?

No, ma'am, nor do I intend to be.

MRS. CATCHPOLE: Good.

We are offering 26 pounds a year,

one half-day off a week,

every other Sunday.

You would be expected to attend church.

You are church of England, I take it?

Yeah, I suppose I am, ma'am.

Well, I'm not Muslim or anything, I know that.

You would have to provide all your own uniform

and you would have a bedroom to yourself.

Have you any questions?

Where would I eat, ma'am?

I mean, with the other kitchen staff?

Yes, of course.

I see. Thank you, sir.

You should address Monsieur Alex

as "Monsieur Alex,"

and he is the Chef de Cuisine,

not the cook.

I see. Thank you.

Do you still wish to be considered

for the position, Miss Leyton?

Yes, please, ma'am.

Very well. Thank you.

Sensible, determined sort of girl.

Yes, but what does she look like?

A chorus girl?

I don't want a chorus girl in my kitchen.

Really, I don't think I follow you.

I don't want a woman, anyway.

Women do not make cooks.

We have had no male applicants,

Monsieur Alex.

Next, please.

I just don't understand why you had to take it in your head

to apply for that job in the first place.

I just don't understand.

I know you don't, mum. You never have.

I doubt you ever will.

Anyway, I got the job, didn't i?

I went out and got it.

Assistant cook?

That's not much to write home about.

There was plenty of others, but they chose me.

Oh, you was a proper cook in your own right

in your last job.

To a pipsqueak of a dentist in Muswell Hill?

They ain't got no class, nothing. Have high tea.

Well, we have high tea.

Oh, for pity's sake!

The bleeding last supper was high tea, for all I know.

Ain't the high tea. It's getting on in the world.

Pigheaded! That's what you are.

It's no use arguing with you. It never was.

Why bother, then?

Oh, look, Louisa, you've grown up

into a very nice-looking girl.

Oh, you think I should go out the West End, do you?

If you don't shut up, I'll clip you one.

Now, there's at least 3 or 4 highly respectable

young men who'd marry you, and you know it.

Frank Belling's been to see us.

Never told me that.

Well, we told him it was no use.

Bleeding right. Not with Frank Belling.

Oh, he's a nice boy. He's not bad-looking.

Sort of thing you'd find under a stone.

But a very old family, the Bellings.

Your father says that's a good business,

that upholstery. That's a good trade--

I don't want to get married to Frank Belling or no one.

Don't you want to improve yourself?

Well, of course I do, but not in that stick-in-the-mud way!

I want to get by by working for the best people there is!

Rich people!

Lords and ladies have big houses and jewels

and lovely clothes and the best food!

And I want to see it all and be part of it!

Oh, you know what they say:

"Rub against gold, a bit may stick to you."

Must have done already, by the look of things.

New boots?

And a new dress, if you want to know.

This place I'm going to, everything's got to be proper,

and I mean proper.

Marvelous thing! You're a bloody duchess

already, splashing your money around,

and all the time getting less than you got before!

You'll get your money regular, same as you do now!

That's all you worry about-- money, isn't it?

It ain't fair. It is fair!

You may not like it, but it's fair!

It's all you've ever worried about with me!

That's why you made me into a skivvy and not let me

stay in that school and be a teacher like I wanted to!

You wanted me off your hands?

Well, now I'm going to do what I want to do,

and no one's going to stop me!

What's she making?

Crème caramel, like he always tests them with.

I bet she haven't the first idea.

Anyone could see that.

I mean, look at them clothes.

Boots.

Button-up boots in the kitchen.

Hmm!

I don't know why you didn't get the job, Jean.

I really don't.

Monsieur Alex must have gone soft in the head.

Nothing to do with Monsieur Alex.

Nothing at all.

He's very upset about it, as it happens.

It was all influence, if you ask me.

Secret influence.

But what influence?

How would I know?

Do you think they discuss it

with the kitchen maid?

But it's obvious, isn't it?

I mean, just look at the girl.

She looks like a proper little trollop to me.

I have no doubt that's exactly what she is.

I think she looks nice.

No one asked your opinion, Mary.

Don't you speak till you're spoken to.

And get out of my way.

Who taught you to do this?

Oh, I just picked it up, you know, from other cooks.

It'll be all right.

It will not be all right.

It will be dégoûtant, disgusting!

Oh, give us a chance, Monsieur Alex.

Wait till it's cool.

My dear young lady, I don't have to wait

until it's cold

to say that it will be uneatable!

Like leather!

Too many whites of egg. Overcooked.

Will you please go to the scullery

and help Ivy with the washing up?

No, I will not!

I didn't come here to wash up!

If you wish it, I'll go,

but if I stay, I stay as your assistant cook

and not as a scullery maid!

I thought she was going to hit him for a minute.

She'll be out on the street by dinnertime.

That's where she should have been

in the first place, on the streets.

Yeah? Who is it?

Miss?

Yeah?

Are you packing, miss?

No.

I brought you this up.

I know I'm not supposed to.

The others would kill me if they caught me,

but I got it up the stairs

without anybody seeing.

Oh, thanks ever so much, Maisie.

Mary, miss.

Oh, sorry. Mary.

It's really Marie,

but nobody knows that name here.

I'd better go now, miss,

before they start looking for me.

There.

What are you so blooming frightened of, Mary?

What you think they'd do to you?

It's that Ivy, miss.

She been at me all the time

since I started here.

Sometimes I could just run away,

except I got nowhere to run to.

Now, don't you ever run away, Mary.

You wait till they chuck you out.

No hopes for the likes of you and me

without they give you character.

Have they given you your notice, miss?

No one's said nothing to no one, far as I know.

I think that's terrible.

What are they saying in the kitchen?

Oh, you know what they're like.

They say you'll get the boot.

Monsieur Alex has gone up to see the housekeeper.

He's been gone ages.

It's all me own fault.

Can't keep me bleeding trap shut.

I need a clothes peg.

I know I'm in the right. Me temper gets the better of me.

I'm an idiot, Mary.

I thought it was marvelous

the way you stood up for yourself.

Big bully of a man.

No right to treat you like that.

Yeah, look where it got me.

Fighting gets you nowhere, not in this life.

Oh, I don't know so much.

I remember one day my uncle Ivor came home drunk

swearing he'd knock my aunt Gwyn's block off,

and she stood up to him and gave him what for.

And he just sat down in the chair,

quiet as a little dog.

And he's a big man, my uncle, played rugby.

Yeah? Well, you just remember your auntie

next time Ivy tries to get the better of you.

Oh, I wouldn't dare.

But I'll remember you.

Leyton, come into my office, please.

Frankly, I do not understand

why I should waste my valuable time

trying to teach you to do something

for which you have no talent.

But...I am told I must.

Well...

Have you something to say?

Well, I'm sorry you feel like that about it.

Well, I do.

Well, all I want is a chance,

like I was promised when I come here.

I never promised anything.

I was promised I'd be given a month's trial.

Of that I am aware.

Do tell me, Leyton,

what do you personally consider

the most important piece of equipment

of a cook?

I don't know.

The stove, I suppose.

No, no, no, no!

It is this.

And after smell, taste, the tongue.

And then the eyes.

I see.

I don't believe you see at all.

You are a good-looking girl.

Why don't you try and find something else to do?

Why do you want to be a cook?

I don't know. I do.

Don't know why, exactly. I just do.

I may be a lousy cook now, but I want to learn.

I'll work meself to the bone.

I won't stint nothing if you'll teach me.

I love cooking. I really do.

Please sit down.

The first thing to learn

is that cooking is not just a job,

a métier,

it is an art.

The kitchen is as important

as an artist's studio.

To be a cook needs hard work...

Perseverance,

but it also needs talent.

There is nothing worse than to be a bad cook.

It is better to wash dishes than to cook badly.

So first,

you must wipe your mind clean.

Forget everything you learned, yes?

Yes, Monsieur Alex.

First principle:

everything must be clean,

exact, planned.

Plain, simple food. Well-cooked is the best.

But always the best materials.

Michelangelo always used the best marble.

The only way possible is to go out

and choose everything yourself,

even a potato.

Jean!

Monsieur Alex: have you nothing to do?

Now, I shall show you how to lay my table

mise en place.

Each item must be exactly in the correct place.

Salt box, pepper mill,

cook's knife, my fork,

the palette knife, and my wallet.

Also, you will check that my clean aprons, my cloths

are brought down from housekeeper's room

and put ready.

Salt box, pepper mill,

chopping bowl, knife, celery stalks,

thyme, parsley, bay leaves.

No, no, no, no, no.

Bouquet garni goes here.

How many times must I tell you?

And forgot the bay leaves.

I was just going to get it.

Good morning, Monsieur Alex.

Oh, good morning, Mr. Trotter.

Now, for the menu for this evening,

there are 12 to dine, and I've just received

some excellent quail from Essex.

Ah. Well, with the soup,

I suggest a white wine,

something quite full-bodied.

[Monsieur Alex speaking French]

Montrachet,

possibly the 1809.

Montrachet?

[Monsieur Alex speaking French]

I beg your pardon...

[continuing indistinctly]

Pas mal, pas mal.

Only one thing missing.

The freezing salt.

You've forgotten the freezing salt.

Sorry. I'll get it.

No, no. Leave it.

I am not going to make ice cream now.

For the next few weeks,

you're going to learn how to make pastry.

I expect you think you know

how to make pastry, huh?

No, Monsieur Alex.

Bon. Now,

for pastry, everything must be cool.

You have cool hands?

Yes, that's a good start.

It is necessary to use marble slab for pastry,

for it is also cool, and the water

and the fat must also be cool.

Now...

Oh, Jean, would you be so kind

as to fetch me a cooling tray for these cheese straws?

You've got two hands and two legs,

the same as everyone else, haven't you?

Yeah, I have. I just happen

to be using all 4 of them just at this very minute!

Let's get one thing clear, Miss Leyton.

I am Monsieur Alex's kitchen maid

and no one else's.

If you want someone to fetch and carry for you,

ask one of the others.

JEAN: Oh, hello, Mr. Charlie.

My dear Jean. How nice to see you again.

And how is the fair maid of Perth?

Oh, very well, thank you, Mr. Charlie.

I came down to congratulate Monsieur Alex

on that delicious lemon sorbet we had last night at dinner.

Oh, I'll tell him.

I'm sure he'll be pleased.

Excuse me, sir.

Was me what made the sorbet last night.

Did you?

Did you indeed?

My compliments.

Who's he, when he's at home?

The honorable Mr. Charles Tyrrell,

son and heir to Lord Haslemere

and Lord Henry's favorite nephew.

Nice looker.

If you take my advice,

I wouldn't start trying any of your tricks

on Mr. Charlie.

Oh, forgive me, Miss Leyton.

I was looking for Monsieur Alex.

He's gone out, Mr. Trotter,

as the family ain't dining.

He asked me to write out the menus

for tomorrow's lunch.

Luncheon.

Oh. Heh! Mr. Trotter? It would oblige me

if you'd tell me what that word is,

'cause I can't read his writing.

Blanchaille, Miss Leyton.

Oh, blanchaille.

What sort of wine would you have

with the blanchaille?

Perhaps some Montrachet?

I think we could risk something a little lighter.

A Chablis, perhaps, or...

Something fresh and gay from the banks of the Moselle.

A Piesporter Goldtröpfchen

or a Trittenheimer Falkenberg.

Ha ha! Blimey!

How'd you remember all them long names?

Practice,

experience,

and I think I was born

with a certain... An interest in wine.

Of course, traveling abroad with his lordship

has somewhat sharpened that interest.

Does he take his butler abroad with him?

I go as his valet and loader.

It's really by way of a holiday for me.

What do you load, then?

I look after his lordship's guns.

Most years, we shoot partridge

with the Duc de Noailles near Paris,

then on to Count Metterich for the boar shooting

in the...

At home, of course, it's pheasants, mainly,

and Sandringham, Chatsworth, Welbeck.

We don't miss much.

Oh, perhaps not quite up to the standard

of Lord Crewe or Lord Ripon,

but mostly his lordship gets his birds in the beak.

I'm a fair shot myself, come to that.

Oh, are you?

Well, it might be that's an inherited talent as well.

Oh, did your father teach you?

It's not talked about, but I think

it is generally known in this household

that my parentage is somewhat veiled in mystery.

It's fairly certain that my mother was of noble birth.

I don't like to sing and boast about it,

but it does make a difference.

Oh, yeah, I can see that, Mr. Trotter.

Well, I ain't got much to boast about,

I'm afraid,

though me mother's dad did help to make

the crown jewels, with his own hands.

And he was an engraver, too, and all.

Perhaps that accounts

for his granddaughter's beautiful handwriting.

Oh, no, I taught meself to do that

from one of them copy books.

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Trotter.

Oh, it's Mary. Poor little beast.

She doesn't half have a rotten life.

Still, that's it, isn't it?

Yes. I used to cry my eyes out

when I was a little boy.

Some nights I was so tired

I could hardly stand up.

I never cried when I was a bleeding tweenie.

Could have happily murdered someone most days.

Better go and get me hanky out.

Hey, uh, what's the matter, Mary?

Oh, nothing's the matter, miss.

Thought it was your evening off.

It is,

but I broke another plate breakfast time,

and Ivy said I was to stay and do the washing up.

She's gone in my place.

Has she? I'm not jumpy.

Things seem just to drop through my hands.

Here. Are you going to tell me what's up?

Is it just Ivy, eh?

Come on. Out with it.

It's my auntie Gwyn.

She be doing poorly with failings of her legs.

She's in hospital.

Were you going to see her tonight?

Well, so you shall. Here, I'll finish this.

Oh, no, miss. That would never do.

Anyway, the hospital's on the other side of the river.

Then you should go in a cab. Here.

Oh, no, miss. I couldn't take that.

Oh, of course you could. It's only money.

Ain't nothing valuable. Here you are.

Go and get yourself tidy.

Oh, miss.

Oh, you're a saint. You really are.

Here! Would your auntie like a pie

or a jelly or anything?

Oh, I'm sure she would.

Well, you go and get ready.

I'll see what I can find.

There we are.

Here you are, then. Off you go.

And don't talk to no strange gentlemen.

Oh, no, I never would. I swear it.

Thank you ever so much, miss.

Monsieur Alex: Louisa!

Oh, Monsieur Alex.

Why are you doing all this?

We've got two girls to do this.

Well, Mary's night off and Ivy were took poorly.

Anyway, there we are. Now I'm done.

It is a question of principle and dignity.

You're a cook. You do not do menial tasks.

Yeah, well, for someone that...

No, Monsieur Alex. It won't happen again.

Good.

Alors, bon soir.

Bon soir, Monsieur Alex.

Leyton?

Yes, Monsieur Alex?

Who has cut this?

Oh, I have.

What for?

I want to know why.

I gave it to Mary to take to her auntie,

who's ill in the hospital.

So it was Mary. No!

It was me. It was my idea.

This is stealing from your employer.

I didn't think a little bit of pie would matter.

But it does matter.

All food must be accounted for.

We'll have to see about this in the morning.

Mmm.

Well! You've got a bloom...

My dear miss assistant cook,

I just came to congratulate you

on your cheese straws.

I'm sure you did,

and to sample some of me other wares, no doubt.

What a percipient young lady you are.

Here is a little token of my admiration

for you and your cooking.

I don't want nothing from you, sir, thank you very much.

Now, I think you're a sensible,

experienced girl.

What do you take me for?

Now, keep off!

Now, I'm sorry if I frightened you.

Please forgive me.

Ain't nothing to forgive.

There's not going to be, neither, so push off.

Now, I'm as much to my parents as you are to yours.

If you so much as touch me, I'll scream.

I'll keep on screaming till Lord Henry himself hears me.

Shh. Shh yourself and get out!

I mean it.

Now, I'm sure you don't, really.

You just try me.

TYRRELL: Marvelous.

You look like a princess.

Here, you got blooming cheek, ain't you?

I'm not going to touch you, I promise.

Cross me heart and hope to die.

May I sit down?

Well, you seem to do what you blooming like in here.

Liberty hall, isn't it?

I'm disappointed in you.

And I'm disappointed in you.

The honorable Mr. Charlie Tyrrell.

I thought you was a nice sort of bloke.

Well, I hope I'm not.

You're all the same, aren't you?

Think we're just here for your pleasure, like animals.

Have you ever thought what happens when a servant

gets put in a family way by one of you lot?

As a rule, some arrangement is made.

Arrangement, my bleeding foot.

Chucked out with a week's wages, no reference, no hope.

She gets over the baby, which a lot of them don't,

there's only one thing left for them--the streets.

You go out and ask any tart you like,

and even money she'll tell you she started life in service.

Me last place, there was an house maid.

She went with a soldier, caught the scarlet fever,

next thing, they found her body in the river at Wapping.

Look, I really didn't come here

to be lectured on the problems--

well, it's ones like you that cause the problems!

I want to talk to you.

I mean seriously.

Well, it's a funny time, it's a funny place,

and in funny clothes, if you ask me.

Which I don't.

You see,

I'm at a bit of a loose end.

I thought of going out to the war--

that's a good idea. Give you something to do,

take your mind off other things.

The trouble is, well, all the world

and his wife's gone off to South Africa,

and they don't want any more amateur soldiers.

You always have to dance with the general's daughter.

Of course, there's this new Chinese rebellion

that looks quite amusing, but, well,

Peking's a long way to go just for a lark.

So the long and the short of it is,

I'm thinking of setting up an establishment in London.

Well, there is a moment when even a favorite nephew

outstays his welcome.

If I did, I would need someone...

Well, you know, look after it for me

and look after me, come to that.

I wonder if that someone might be you.

Blimey, this is a bit quick, isn't it?

You don't know me. Don't even know me name.

It's Louisa, isn't it?

Louisa Leyton.

Well, Miss Leyton,

I'm quite quick at making decisions.

It would be a little house,

somewhere secluded,

carriage at your disposal,

clothes, servants-- here, look.

Well, don't think that I don't understand

that a gentleman like you does need that sort of place,

something that's right and proper, isn't it?

And, of course, you'll need a lady to...well, you know.

I mean, I'm very honored to be asked.

I'm more than delighted that your choice should--

oh, look here, I wouldn't be no good to you.

How do you know?

I do! That's not what I want!

Well, you'll think I'm barmy, I'll expect,

but I know what I want to be.

I just want to be the best cook in England.

That's all I want to be.

What a good idea.

Keep this...

From one friend to another.

All right.

Thanks, Mr. Charlie.

Good-bye, Louisa.

Good luck.

You need your head looked at, Louisa Leyton.

That's what's wrong with you.

Will you go in now, please, miss?

Morning, Leyton.

Morning, ma'am.

We have a very serious matter

to discuss with you, Leyton.

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.

I didn't know I was doing wrong, honest.

I explained to Monsieur Alex--

you didn't know it was doing wrong

to admit a man to your bedroom?

Oh, yes, ma'am!

Then you don't deny there was a man

in your room last night?

No. Of course I don't. It was Mr. Tyrrell.

Sitting there, bold as brass, when I went up to bed,

and I chucked him out.

From what I hear, it's not the first time

he's been caught in the servants' rooms in this house.

We have heard he was in your room

by your invitation,

and that you made an assignation with him

in the kitchen.

Then you heard wrong, ma'am, if you don't mind my saying so.

You've been told a pack of lies,

and I can just guess by who!

Creeping and crawling about and spying on people!

That's what she was doing, wasn't it?

Poking her nose in where it's not wanted, as usual,

and you believe her?

Jean has been with us for some years.

So it's her word against mine, is it?

Right!

You can have me notice here and now,

or we'll go up and see Lord Henry and let him decide!

What's more, we'll take Jean with us

and ask Lord Henry to fetch Mr. Tyrrell,

and then we'll see what's what!

Now, Leyton...

Let's not get all hot and bothered about this.

We all know

that even in the best-run establishments,

there are bound to be upsets

from time to time,

and it's up to us to try and settle them

in the most sensible way.

Monsieur Alex was saying to me only yesterday

that he felt quite happy to leave the running

of the kitchen in your hands

when his lordship is away and he himself

is on his holidays.

In view of the circumstances,

and in the light of your own honesty,

I think the best thing would be

for us to forget the entire business.

Thank you, ma'am.

I'm quite prepared to forget all about it,

on one condition.

On condition that Jean apologizes to me

in front of Monsieur Alex.

Here she is now.

I'm sorry I made a mistake about you,

Miss Leyton.

I wish to apologize.

Oh, do you? That's nice.

Thank you, Jean.

Well, I never did.

Wonders will never cease.

Every week, you will take the account book

for the housekeeper to see,

and you will present to her the menu

for each day at 10:00.

Even though I'm only cooking for the servants' hall?

Ah, oui. You will be very economical.

No delicacies, no extravagance,

except if Mrs. Catchpole asks for it.

You understand?

Yeah, I understand. I'll be all right.

Heh! I wish I had the confidence in you

that you evidently have in yourself.

The incident of the pie has been forgiven,

but not forgotten.

It was all me own fault. It won't happen again.

And with the others,

with Ivy and Jean,

use your brain, not your tongue, huh?

You fight well for yourself.

You won the battle with Jean.

So don't get any folly to wander

or be more sympathetic, human.

You're not just going to be a cook,

but a general.

TROTTER: His lordship coming right from Scotland

in the middle of August!

Well, it's so unlike his lordship!

Whatever can have happened?

I know no more than you do, Mr. Trotter.

He's coming home on the train tomorrow.

The chandelier in the drawing room has got to be mended.

Half the house is under dust sheets.

I'm sure you'll manage, Mr. Trotter.

But good heavens! What about this dinner?

We haven't got a chef.

Perhaps we could borrow the Haslemeres'.

They've taken him to Yorkshire with them.

We must consult his lordship.

No time, neither is there any necessity.

We have the answer under our very roof.

Come in.

You wished to see me, Mrs. Catchpole?

Oh, I really don't think so, Mrs. Catchpole.

She has no experience--

yes, we do.

Lord Henry is returning from Scotland

earlier than expected, Leyton.

There's to be an important dinner party

for 10 on Thursday night.

We would like you to cook that dinner.

Oh, my lor'.

Well, c-couldn't you get Monsieur Alex back?

Not in the time.

Monsieur Alex is visiting his sister

in Spain.

Oh, well, I'll have to, then, won't i?

I won't want to let him down.

Oh, that will never do, not this time of year.

Oh, my lor'.

Cream of Oyster.

Is there an "r" in the month-- oh, bleeding hell.

It's August. Oh, heavens. Oh, dear.

MARY: Excuse me, miss.

Mary, what do you want?

I've got something rather important to say to you--

oh, not now.

It's just...

I've been saving up from my wages to pay you back.

Oh, I didn't mean you--

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much, Mary.

My aunt Gwyn's a lot better now--

not now, Mary.

Hop it like a good girl.

Almond. That's it.

Almond.

There you are, Mr. Trotter.

Take a look at that. What do you think?

Well, Monsieur Alex says always

to keep it simple.

Very good.

I suggest Madeira

with the soup...

Champagne for the Turbot.

Of course, you could have champagne

all the way through the meal.

However, a...

Richebourg with the grouse.

Richebourg. That's a nice name.

Well, it's a small vineyard

with the finest in burgundy.

Hey, what's that, Mr. Trotter,

with the pears?

Chateau dai quem?

Château d'Yquem.

It's a sauternes--

sweet wine for the dessert,

full of the warmth of the sun.

Nice foil to the pears poached in lemon juice,

if I may say so.

We'll need 5 menus.

Here, I won't be able to manage it all in French.

What's wrong with English?

Well, it's up with the lark tomorrow,

no mistake.

Why so early?

Well, got to get to market, don't I,

get all this stuff?

You see, Mr. Trotter, for this kind of dinner,

you got to have the best, and the only way

to get the best is to go out and get it yourself,

even down to the last potato.

I brought the menus up, Mr. Trotter.

Hope you don't mind me having a peep round

while I'm here.

Of course not, Miss Leyton.

Every cook should see the setting

in which the food is to be served.

Do you approve?

Oh, my lor', yeah. Yeah, I do.

Who's coming?

I gather just a few

of Lord Henry's more intimate friends.

Would you care to try a sip of the Château d'Yquem?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I would. Thank you.

We're drawing the '79,

which will be new to his lordship.

Ta.

Oh.

Charles.

It's good, isn't it?

It's like honey.

I could just taste that sun

you was talking about.

It will need well chilling.

Miss Leyton,

I wanted to ask you something.

Yes, Mr. Trotter?

How would you wish the boiled truffles to be served?

Oh, just in a clean white napkin,

thank you, Mr. Trotter.

Good.

So it shall be done, Miss Leyton.

Right, Jean. There you are.

Dinner's been announced.

Right you are, then, Ivy.

Good girl.

[dinner guests conversing indistinctly]

I hear that Billy Tempest shot 16 brace of grouse,

two beaters, and his own sister-in-law

in one drive last week.

And Daisy Warrick's taken to flying the Stars and Stripes

over the castle in order to please

the American tourists.

I suppose you heard what happened

on the last day at Cowes week.

No.

I say, I'd better be careful.

I shall find myself thrown into the tower.

Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

You stupid, clumsy fool of a girl!

Here, you stop calling me names!

Now, stop that, both of you! It was an accident!

Mary, clear that up. Ivy, clean the dish, please.

Jean, take the other one up.

Thank God I got more than we needed.

Ooh!

Didn't leave much, did they?

Well, they must have been hungry.

Proof of the pudding's in the eating.

That what they say.

Yeah, a bit ordinary, I'm afraid.

Not up to Monsieur Alex's standard.

Well, he wouldn't have done much better,

I don't think.

Oh, thank you, Mary.

Especially with Ivy

doing her best to spoil everything.

You're wanted in the dining room, Miss Leyton.

Oh, my lor'.

I can't be. Well, what's gone wrong?

They haven't all been poisoned, have they?

Shall we go up?

Here, it's not my fault if things have gone wrong!

It's Mrs. Catchpole. You go and fetch her.

They want to see whoever cooked the dinner.

Oh, lor'.

I don't know. I feel a mess.

Well, what about me bonnet?

Oh, hang on a mo.

Miss Leyton, you'll do. You'll do very well.

Oh, me.

I wonder what will happen to her, Ivy.

She'll have her head chopped off, most like.

Oh, my God.

Look like I've been dragged through a haystack backwards.

TYRRELL: He followed her to the house,

oh, somewhere near Notre Dame.

And he went in, up the stairs,

and eventually got to her room.

When he opened the door, he nearly had a fit.

So you really won't believe...

Ready, Miss Leyton?

Lord Henry: my chef's away, sir,

so his assistant, Miss Leyton, cooked the dinner.

Ah, Miss Leyton.

Come a little nearer.

I sent for the chef to congratulate him,

and now I find it's you instead,

so I must congratulate you,

and I do congratulate you,

and here is my hand upon it.

Well, Miss Leyton...

Here is a little something

to show you how much

we enjoyed your dinner.

A present sovereign

from your future sovereign.

Most graciously expressed, sir, if I may say so.

Yes, indeed.

Here. Drink this.

Oh, bleeding hell, Ivy!

Do you want some water, miss?

Oh, look-- oh, my God, Mr. Trotter.

Why on earth didn't you tell me before?

Mrs. Catchpole thought it might

put you off your cooking.

She was bleeding right and all! I nearly died of shock!

What did he say, miss?

Let me-- wait a minute.

He said, "Thank you all for this lovely dinner."

And he gave me that. How about that, then?

Isn't that lovely?

TROTTER: This will make you feel better.

Oh, Mr. Trotter! Oh, thank you.

Come on, then. Don't be shy.

To Miss Leyton and her staff.

May I add my congratulations

to those of his Royal Highness,

the Prince of Wales. Ta.

Oh!

Oh, it's gone up me nose!

I never drank champagne before.

Nor have I, neither.

I might get a taste for it and all.

Oh, Ivy! Oh, you're awful!