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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,255
Hey, do me a favor and take Table 7?
2
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,718
You mean, the one with my 118-pound
rock-hard stud of a fiancé...
3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:12,179
...who's prone to canker sores
and pinkeye?
4
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,099
I prefer to look at it
as the one with my ex-boyfriend...
5
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:20,312
...and his gorgeous, successful girlfriend
who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.
6
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,150
Do you want me
to spill hot soup on her?
7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,403
Please, you're not that kind of person.
8
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:28,612
I know.
9
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:33,492
But if she orders something low-fat,
I'll totally give her the full-fat version.
10
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:36,996
That's my water.
11
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,373
- What?
- My water, you're drinking it.
12
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,001
Dear Lord.
13
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,671
- Have you been drinking it?
- Yes, it's my water.
14
00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:49,550
Well, that's it then. I'm dead.
15
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:51,802
Here we go.
16
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,305
I'm sorry,
do I need to connect the dots for you?
17
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,973
The backwash into this glass...
18
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,059
...is every pathogen that
calls your mouth "home sweet home."
19
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,854
Not to mention
the visitors who arrive on the tongue...
20
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,856
...of your subtropical girlfriend.
21
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,360
Hey, that's my sister and my country
you're talking about.
22
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,029
Leonard may have defiled one...
23
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:13,282
...but I won't have you talking smack
about the other.
24
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,117
- You guys ready to order?
- Yes.
25
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,369
I'd like a seven-day course
of penicillin...
26
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:21,707
...some syrup of ipecac
to induce vomiting and a mint.
27
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:25,377
- I don't understand.
- He drank from Leonard's glass.
28
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,087
"He drank from Leonard's glass."
29
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,840
The words they'll be carving
into my tombstone.
30
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,219
- That's actually my napkin.
- Oh, this is a nightmare.
31
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,179
Where are you going?
32
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:37,723
To the bar
to sterilize my mouth with alcohol.
33
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,893
Gangway, dead man walking.
34
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,171
All right, here we go.
Two lemonades...
35
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,006
...one iced tea...
36
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,425
...and a root beer for Priya.
37
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:17,096
- Is it diet?
- That's what you ordered.
38
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:22,852
Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard
started planning your wedding yet?
39
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:26,772
Yeah. We're thinking of having it
on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
40
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:29,024
Nothing soothes those
pre-wedding jitters...
41
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,861
...like the thought of falling
and drowning.
42
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,322
What'd your mother say
when you told her?
43
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,158
He hasn't told her yet.
He's waiting for the right time.
44
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,787
I was thinking of weaving it
into her eulogy.
45
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,790
Howard,
you've got to tell your mother.
46
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:48,669
Have you told your parents you're dating
this short glass of skimmed milk yet?
47
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,716
That's different.
First of all, we're not engaged...
48
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:57,636
...and second, Indian parents
are very protective of their children.
49
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:02,975
Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take
a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.
50
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,856
I gargled with tequila
and may have swallowed a teeny bit.
51
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,734
- You all right?
- Fine. Thank you for asking.
52
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,360
I love you so much.
53
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,616
Fire demon.
54
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:23,913
Fire demon.
Sheldon's turning up the heat.
55
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,207
Troll master.
56
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,878
Check it, Howard pulls one out
from under the bridge. Nice.
57
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,923
Water nymph.
58
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:37,176
Oh, yeah, she's got puddles
in all the right places.
59
00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:41,597
Could you please play the game
without commenting on every card?
60
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:43,390
Sorry.
61
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,851
Walking tree.
62
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,275
- Last one.
- I'm taking a stroll and sporting wood.
63
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,364
(PHONE CHIMES)
64
00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:01,867
- Okay, the eagle has landed.
- What's going on?
65
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,913
Bernadette and my mother are having
a get-to-know-you lunch at the deli.
66
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,247
That sounds lovely.
67
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,708
Hope so.
Course, if history is any indication...
68
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:13,420
...my mother will swallow her whole
and spit out her bones like an owl.
69
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:18,467
- Have you met Bernadette's parents?
- You mean Adolf and Eva?
70
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:24,264
Not yet. One goose step at a time.
71
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,100
Sheldon, that's my water.
72
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,811
Oh, dear Lord.
73
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,815
That's not your water.
74
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,693
I know.
75
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,280
SHELDON:
Where's the mouthwash?
76
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,616
Where indeed.
77
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:48,080
HOWARD:
Ma, I'm home!
78
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:52,835
- Where are you?
MRS. WOLOWITZ: I'm in the toilet!
79
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,962
So how'd it go?
80
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:58,507
Too soon to say, I'm not done yet!
81
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,262
No,
I mean lunch today with Bernadette.
82
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:04,471
Oh!
83
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,767
I had a pastrami sandwich.
She had eggplant lasagna.
84
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:12,104
Like that's what a person orders
in a Jewish deli.
85
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,816
Besides food, did you get along?
86
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,776
- Did you talk?
- Oh, sure.
87
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:22,781
Did you know she's going to school
to become a microbiologist?
88
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:27,244
No, she never mentioned it.
89
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:31,457
I bet she did and you didn't listen.
90
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,877
Yeah, that's probably it.
What do you think?
91
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,129
Do you like her?
I mean, she's great, huh?
92
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:40,340
She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button.
93
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,386
That's good to hear
because I've got some news.
94
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,138
I hope it's good news...
95
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:49,266
...because I've got nothing
but disappointment in here.
96
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,779
Bernadette and I are getting married.
97
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,659
Ma?
98
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,538
You too busy bearing down?
99
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,708
Ma?
100
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,877
(THUDDING)
101
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:21,673
Oh, my God. Ma? Ma? Stand back,
I'm gonna break the door down.
102
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,850
Son of a bitch. Ma, help.
103
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,022
- Hey.
- Hello.
104
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:39,691
I haven't seen you in a while.
How's it going?
105
00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:43,028
Other than waiting out
the exponential growth period...
106
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,532
...of the virulent organisms
trooping through my microvilli...
107
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:50,869
...into my circulatory system,
hunky-dory.
108
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,080
(CHUCKLING)
109
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,459
Did I say something amusing?
110
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:01,130
I don't know, maybe.
I have no idea what you said.
111
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,466
So your mirth is merely a discharge
of nervous energy...
112
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,969
...with no semantic content at all?
113
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,972
My "mirth." Classic.
114
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,599
Is there a station coming up...
115
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,978
...where I can board
your giggling train of thought?
116
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:20,649
It's not a big deal. It's just ever since
Leonard's been dating Raj's sister...
117
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:25,279
...I've had to keep my distance.
I don't get to hear all your jibber jabber.
118
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,407
Jibber jabber? I don't jibber jabber.
119
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,367
What are you doing at work
these days?
120
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:34,288
Oh. I'm working on time-dependent
backgrounds in string theory.
121
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,584
Specifically, quantum field theory
in D-dimensional de Sitter space.
122
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,921
Come on, even you have to admit
that's jibber jabber.
123
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:48,760
Interesting. Do you know where
the phrase "jibber jabber" comes from?
124
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,931
Oh, my God. You're about
to jibber jabber about jibber jabber.
125
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:59,104
Howard and his mother
are at the hospital.
126
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:02,524
- Oh, my God, what happened?
- I don't know, I just got a text. Hurry.
127
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,113
Sheldon, let's go.
128
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:11,533
To a hospital? Full of sick people?
129
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,037
Oh, I don't think so.
130
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,956
Your friend and his mother are there,
we're going.
131
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:19,833
I can't.
132
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,169
Don't tell me you're afraid of germs.
133
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,130
Not all germs.
134
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,924
Just the ones that will kill me.
135
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,385
The same way I'm not afraid
of all steak knives.
136
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,430
Just the ones that might be plunged
in my thorax.
137
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:38,477
I'll tell Howard you're more concerned
about your own well-being than his.
138
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,063
I would think he would know that.
139
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,733
You know what? You are unbelievable.
140
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:48,654
You buy all these superhero T-shirts
but when it's time for you to step up...
141
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:52,032
...and do the right thing,
you just hide in the laundry room.
142
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,742
Fine, I'll go.
143
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:58,664
Just for the record,
my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.
144
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,000
She went in to visit my uncle Roger,
caught something...
145
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,378
...and bit the dust a week later.
146
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,881
The two of them now share a coffee can
on my mother's mantel.
147
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:14,846
So I knocked down the bathroom door,
picked up my unconscious mother...
148
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:18,684
...carried her to the car and drove
like a madman to the emergency room.
149
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,854
- You're a real hero, Howard.
- No, I did what any son would do.
150
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:26,275
Hang on a second,
you picked up your mother?
151
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:31,029
Her own legs are barely able
to do that.
152
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,449
I was filled with adrenaline.
153
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,286
It happens to be
how women lift cars off babies.
154
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,955
Yeah,
I'm saying it'd be easier to lift a car.
155
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,792
What can I tell you,
after I found the courage...
156
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,920
...to put her pants back on,
I was unstoppable.
157
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,883
- So how is she?
- They're running tests, I don't know.
158
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,721
It may have been a heart attack
or heart-attack-like event.
159
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,432
- What's the difference?
- A heart-attack-like event...
160
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,476
...is an event that's like a heart attack.
161
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,521
Thanks for clearing that up.
162
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,274
Regardless, coronary problems
are eminently treatable.
163
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,609
What's more likely
to kill Howard's mother...
164
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,862
...are the antibiotic-resistant
superbugs...
165
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,615
...festering in every nook and cranny
of this hospital.
166
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,075
Okay, you're not helping.
167
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,411
Disagree.
168
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:23,040
Go sit over there.
169
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,251
I'll sit over there. It looks cleaner.
170
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,756
Is there heart disease in your family?
171
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:34,634
My family is the history
of heart disease.
172
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:39,348
There's a cave painting in France
of one of my ancestors doing this:
173
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,437
- So it's probably genetic.
- Well, maybe.
174
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:49,358
Mom also had just gotten some news
that might have upset her.
175
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,943
- What?
- It's not important.
176
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,530
Howard, I'm gonna be your wife,
you can share anything with me.
177
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:58,408
You'd think that, but no.
178
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:06,291
You told her we were gonna get married
and she had a heart attack?
179
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,586
You can't take that personally.
180
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:13,215
How else is she supposed to take it?
181
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:17,177
What you've gotta keep in mind
is that ever since my dad left...
182
00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:19,679
...I've been the whole world
to my mother.
183
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:24,851
I mean, she'd be threatened by any
woman who can give me what she can't.
184
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,479
You mean, sexual intercourse?
185
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,777
Well, when you say it like that,
you make it sound creepy.
186
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,655
- What happened?
- Howard's mother had a heart attack...
187
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:40,617
...because I have sex with him
and she can't.
188
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,206
Bernie, wait.
189
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,544
I'll give you $1000
if you'll drive me home.
190
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,548
Nice of you to come for Howard.
191
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,300
Well, he's my friend. It's what you do.
192
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,261
(CHUCKLES)
193
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,930
I'm sorry, did I miss something?
194
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:05,767
It's just so weird.
Howard Wolowitz is my friend.
195
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:09,688
You know he tried to stick his tongue
down my throat and I broke his nose?
196
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,442
That's a little easier to believe
than he's your friend.
197
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,444
Yeah, tell me about it.
198
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,113
My brother had a group of friends
like this in India.
199
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,157
They dressed up in leotards
and goggles.
200
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,701
And called themselves
the New Delhi Power Rangers.
201
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,996
You mean, when he was little.
202
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:28,582
Not as little as you'd want him to be.
203
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,546
This stuff is horrible.
Wanna see if we can find real coffee?
204
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:37,507
Sure. We're going to the cafeteria
to get some coffee.
205
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,718
- You want anything?
- I'm fine.
206
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,637
That's nice that they're getting along.
207
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,515
Your girlfriend and ex-girlfriend
hanging out together?
208
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,643
Oh, yeah,
that can only be good for you.
209
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,566
- What are you talking about?
- One broke up with you.
210
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,152
Do you really want her
telling the other one why?
211
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,156
I don't care.
I don't have anything to hide.
212
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:04,326
Good, good.
Then you have nothing to worry about.
213
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,580
No, I do not.
214
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,043
You are a mean little man.
215
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,506
You'd think it'd be
because my parents didn't love me...
216
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,758
...but actually,
they loved me a great deal.
217
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,719
Bernie, it's not you.
218
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,514
- She's just set in her ways.
- How can we be together...
219
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,725
...if the thought of us getting married
might kill your mother?
220
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,521
It's the circle of life, sweetie.
221
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:38,276
One day our son will marry someone
and it will kill you.
222
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,907
Howard, I have to go to the bathroom
and no one will take me home.
223
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,827
- What's wrong with the bathroom here?
- Pneumococcus, streptococcus...
224
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,414
...staphylococcus
and other assorted coccuses.
225
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,875
Sheldon,
my mother is on her deathbed...
226
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,878
...and my fiancée is grief-stricken
over putting her there.
227
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,631
I'm not taking you home.
228
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:03,134
At least go with me so you can
open the door and flush the urinal.
229
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,136
No.
230
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,264
This might be a good time
to point out...
231
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,350
...that friendship requires
a certain give and take.
232
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,562
Hold the door.
233
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,069
Mr. Wolowitz?
234
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,321
- Is she okay?
- It wasn't a heart attack.
235
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,866
She's awake, she's resting comfortably
and we're still running tests.
236
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,827
- Can I see her?
- Actually, she said...
237
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:32,289
...and I quote, she'd like to see
"the little Catholic girl first."
238
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,168
Me? Why me?
239
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:41,339
Jews have been asking that for centuries.
There's no real good answer.
240
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,844
Okay, well, wish me luck.
241
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:49,014
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
Let's just hide Mr. Cross.
242
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,184
If it touches her, it burns, so...
243
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:58,231
Brought a Catholic girl home
to your mother?
244
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,441
Yeah.
245
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:02,652
Why don't I write you a prescription
for Xanax?
246
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,326
Finally.
247
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:12,537
(MAN COUGHING)
248
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,883
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
249
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,385
Wait, you can't leave here,
you've been exposed.
250
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,849
SHELDON:
No, I haven't.
251
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,894
It's all good.
252
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,189
Wanna talk about crazy mothers?
253
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:42,025
Leonard's mom wouldn't give him
any approval growing up.
254
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,401
Oh, the poor thing.
255
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,487
It makes him desperate
to please women.
256
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:48,365
That's why the foreplay
goes on and on.
257
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:49,949
It does, doesn't it?
258
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,702
It's like he's trying to win a prize.
259
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:56,498
A word of advice, don't doze off.
You will never hear the end of it.
260
00:15:56,665 --> 00:16:00,460
Help me! Come back!
261
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:01,795
Penny!
262
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:07,926
There are a couple of things I did with
Penny that might be a little silly, but...
263
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,969
Like what?
264
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,430
Every once in a while,
before we'd go to bed...
265
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,266
...I'd put on a little show for her.
266
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,270
What do you mean "a show"?
267
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:24,234
Well, you know,
like the way I took my clothes off.
268
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,695
Like to music?
269
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:31,491
I'd look pretty stupid
if there was no music.
270
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,910
So you'd do a striptease.
271
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:37,622
Well, I wasn't swinging around a pole.
272
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,834
Good, good.
273
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,422
There was one time
I put body glitter on.
274
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,634
I don't think you have to worry
about Penny telling my sister.
275
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:53,638
- No, she wouldn't.
- Your big problem is me telling her.
276
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,143
You really are a mean little man.
277
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,147
PRIYA:
Oh, God, that is so true.
278
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,523
Yeah. I know, eh?
279
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,900
Hey, what took you guys so long?
280
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,360
Oh, we were just chatting.
281
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,987
That's nice. What about?
282
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,490
We were just comparing notes
about how you are in the sack.
283
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:15,744
(LAUGHING)
284
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,371
- That's funny.
- Yeah.
285
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:20,832
What if she wasn't kidding?
286
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:25,253
Doesn't matter.
I'm the king of foreplay.
287
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,841
Hey, how'd it go?
288
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,926
You're a putz.
289
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:36,514
- You know what that means?
- Yeah. Do you?
290
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,475
Your mother just taught it to me.
291
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:41,102
She thinks she got food poisoning
from that deli...
292
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:43,438
...and she wanted to make sure
I was okay.
293
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:45,106
And are you?
294
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:48,359
No, because I'm engaged to a putz.
295
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,698
You let me believe
I was the reason she had a heart attack.
296
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:56,993
- Well, based on the available evidence...
- Shut up!
297
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,996
She said I'm a wonderful girl
and you're lucky to have me.
298
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,456
Where are you going?
299
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:04,042
(IN GRUFF VOICE)
To the toilet! Is that okay with you?
300
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:13,885
Is it just me, or does she sound sexy
when she's angry?
301
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,561
Mountain elf.
302
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,360
He takes the elf from off the shelf.
303
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,155
Hell hounds.
304
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,365
Hell hounds.
305
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:39,536
(SINGING) Who let the satanic dogs out?
Who? Who? Who?
306
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,831
Colossal serpent.
307
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,959
I got a colossal serpent right here.
308
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,629
Must you?
309
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,881
Sorry.
I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.
310
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,718
Rotting zombie.
311
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,887
Sheldon's new Facebook photo.
312
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:06,646
Zandor, wizard of the north.
Ha! I win.
313
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,566
If you skip the part about
being under quarantine...
314
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,902
...because you were exposed
to a deadly disease, absolutely.
25240
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