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1
00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,221
Clarify something for me.
2
00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:17,601
Isn't the point of a communal meal
the exchange of ideas and opinions...
3
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,730
...an opportunity to consider
important issues of the day?
4
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,941
It is. You just kind of put a damper
on things when you said:
5
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:28,154
"The next person I see talking with
food in their mouth will be put to death."
6
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,157
We could argue about
who said what all night...
7
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,909
...but to set things back on course...
8
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,620
...I will propose a new topic
of conversation.
9
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:37,830
- Ugh.
- Great.
10
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:40,750
What is the best number?
11
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:44,420
By the way,
there's only one correct answer.
12
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:48,758
Five million, three hundred,
eighteen thousand and eight?
13
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:53,387
Wrong. The best number is 73.
14
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,017
You're probably wondering why.
15
00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,268
- No.
RAJESH: No, we're good.
16
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,604
Seventy three
is the 21st prime number.
17
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,814
It's mirror, 37, is the 12th...
18
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:08,486
...and its mirror, 21, is the product
of multiplying... Hang on to your hats.
19
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,696
...seven and three.
20
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,909
Heh? Heh? Did I lie?
21
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,746
We get it.
73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.
22
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,874
Chuck Norris wishes.
23
00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:24,293
In binary, 73 is a palindrome:
24
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:25,711
One, zero, zero, one...
25
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,046
...zero, zero, one.
26
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:30,424
Which, backwards,
is one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one.
27
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,759
Exactly the same.
28
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:36,096
All Chuck Norris backwards
gets you is "sirron kcuhc."
29
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:41,852
Just for the record, when you enter
5,318,008 in a calculator...
30
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,438
...upside down, it spells "boobies."
31
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,195
Remember wondering why
the girls didn't wanna eat with us?
32
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,988
Yeah, I get it now.
33
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:59,161
- I love your heart locket, Bernadette.
- Oh, thanks. Howard gave it to me.
34
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,371
It's the cutest thing.
35
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:04,291
Every time I have dinner with his mom,
the next day I get jewelry.
36
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:09,672
Did you know the Valentine's heart
is not based on the shape of a heart...
37
00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:13,133
...but rather on the shape of
the buttocks of a female bending over?
38
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:20,474
Oh. So I spent seventh grade
dotting my I's with little asses?
39
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,810
Cool.
40
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,189
- Hey, Penny, how's it going?
- Hey, Zack. What are you doing here?
41
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,650
My dad's company prints menus
for this place.
42
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,610
Dropping off some new ones,
laminated.
43
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,988
Easier to clean
if people throw up on them.
44
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,325
- Guess how I got the idea.
- Yeah, I got it. I got it.
45
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:41,954
Ahem. Uh, Zack, these are my friends
Bernadette and Amy.
46
00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:43,205
- Hi.
- Hey.
47
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,583
Hoo.
48
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,255
- Okay, well, it was good to see you.
- Yeah, you too.
49
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:54,717
- He's really cute. How do you know him?
- Oh, we went out a couple times.
50
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,677
I'm often flummoxed by current slang.
51
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,471
Does "went out" mean
"had intercourse"?
52
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,640
- Yes.
- No. No.
53
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,143
But in this case, yes.
54
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,855
- Interesting. And was it not satisfactory?
- No, it was great.
55
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:11,400
He just didn't really challenge me
on an intellectual level.
56
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:15,070
Couldn't you just fool around with him
and then listen to NPR?
57
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:19,491
Wouldn't help.
Zack can't even spell NPR.
58
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,535
It's what I do with Howard.
59
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,162
I'm much smarter than he is...
60
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,706
...but it's important
to protect his manhood.
61
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,627
Hoo.
62
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,714
- What's the matter?
- I'm suddenly feeling flushed.
63
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:38,218
My heart rate is elevated,
my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry.
64
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,889
In addition,
I keep involuntarily saying "hoo."
65
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,601
Oh, we know what's causing that,
don't we?
66
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:46,852
It's no mystery.
67
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:51,065
I obviously have the flu, coupled with
sudden-onset Tourette's syndrome.
68
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,593
You hear about the accident
at the bio lab?
69
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,011
- No.
- What happened?
70
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,683
They were injecting rats with radioactive
isotopes and one of the techs got bit.
71
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,018
Did he get super powers?
72
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:33,691
No, he got five stitches
and a tetanus shot.
73
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,900
Oh.
74
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,944
Well, that's disappointing.
75
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,278
- Why?
- Oh.
76
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,614
You get bit by radioactive animal
in a lab...
77
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,866
...you kind of wanna
turn into a superhero.
78
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,036
Yeah, but who'd wanna become
Rat Man?
79
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,372
Who wouldn't?
80
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,167
You could zip through a maze
in nothing flat...
81
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:56,463
...squeeze through small holes and
shut down restaurants in a single bound.
82
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,632
And the best part is,
if I were Rat Man...
83
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,051
...you could be my sidekick,
Mouse Boy.
84
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,933
Mouse Boy?
85
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,603
You don't like Mouse Boy?
How about, uh, Kid Vermin?
86
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,940
First of all, if we had super powers,
I wouldn't be the sidekick.
87
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:19,028
- You'd be the sidekick.
- Rat Man is nobody's sidekick.
88
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,990
Leonard, settle this, of the two of us,
who's the obvious sidekick?
89
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,199
Yeah, Leonard, who?
90
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,748
Twelve years after high school
and I'm still at the nerd table.
91
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:38,964
Aren't you slicing that man's brain
a little too thin?
92
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,930
It's too thin if I were making a foot-long
brain sandwich at Quizno's.
93
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,684
For examination
under a two photon microscope...
94
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,020
...it's fine.
95
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,649
Well, you're the expert.
96
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:01,653
If the correct way to do it
is the wrong way, then I yield.
97
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,573
Very well, if you die and donate
your body to science...
98
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,159
...I promise to slice your brain
like Canadian bacon.
99
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:10,204
Thank you.
100
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,624
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to take my temperature.
101
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,959
Are you monitoring
your circadian rhythms...
102
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:19,338
...in order to identify your periods
of maximum mental acuity?
103
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:20,631
I did that one summer.
104
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,008
Ah, youth.
105
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,428
No, I experienced distressing symptoms
last night...
106
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,764
...so I'm checking
my vital signs every hour.
107
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:33,602
I'd be happy to create a chart and
participate in a differential diagnosis.
108
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,437
Oh, that sounds like fun.
109
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,109
All right. Ahem.
110
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,860
What were the symptoms?
111
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:45,656
Elevated heart rate, moist palms,
dry mouth...
112
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:48,659
...and localized vascular throbbing.
113
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,871
Localized to what region?
114
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,042
Ears and genitalia.
115
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,086
Interesting.
116
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,839
Not body parts that usually team up.
117
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:08,971
What about environmental factors?
Describe the scene for me.
118
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:11,849
I was in a restaurant with Penny
and Bernadette, drinking water.
119
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,893
Carbonated, as it was
a special occasion.
120
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:19,523
Penny's friend Zack stopped by
and said hello and I said "hoo."
121
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,067
- Who?
- Zack.
122
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,863
- Then why did you ask?
- Ask what?
123
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,198
- "Who?"
- Zack.
124
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,285
All right, let's start over.
125
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,537
What did you say
when Zack walked in?
126
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,206
- Hoo.
- Zack.
127
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,585
- Why do you keep saying Zack?
- Because you keep saying, "Who?"
128
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,337
I'm not saying "hoo" now,
I said "hoo" last night.
129
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,631
And the answer was Zack, correct?
130
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:48,093
There was no question,
I simply said, "Hoo."
131
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,639
All right.
I think I have enough to go on.
132
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,768
Possible explanations
for your symptoms are...
133
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,812
...in descending order of likelihood...
134
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,272
...hyperthyroidism...
135
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,773
...premature menopause...
136
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,276
...hosting an alien parasite...
137
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:08,822
...or, and I only include it for the sake of
covering absolutely all bases...
138
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,241
...sexual arousal.
139
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:16,496
Where would I have picked up
an alien parasite?
140
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,126
- There you are.
- Oh, hey.
141
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:24,213
Let me ask you a question.
What are you most afraid of?
142
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,006
I don't know. Uh...
143
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,885
Nuclear war, being buried alive.
Any of those movies where you get...
144
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:33,972
...that phone call that says
you're going to die, and then you do.
145
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,850
No, something very specific
that we both know you...
146
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,937
...Rajesh Koothrappalli,
are terrified of.
147
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,898
Well, type two diabetes
runs in my family.
148
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:46,944
- The thought of losing a toe...
- Spiders. You're afraid of spiders.
149
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,864
- What the heck is this?
- A jar with a big spider in it, of course.
150
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:56,203
Bravery test. First one to take
his hand out is the sidekick.
151
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,746
RAJESH:
Wha...?
152
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,333
- Are you crazy?
- Perhaps.
153
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,587
- Are you scared?
- No. But it's a stupid test.
154
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:06,838
Oh, really?
155
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,008
What if the Earth was in danger
and the only way to save it...
156
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:13,303
...was to stick your hand in a jar
with a spider?
157
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,890
Yeah? What if the only way to save it
was to shower in the locker room...
158
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,809
...and let other guys see you naked?
159
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,355
Oh, come on.
That's never gonna happen.
160
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,485
Now, put your hand in the jar
or forever be revealed as my sidekick.
161
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,197
All right, I will.
162
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,534
How did you get so brave
all of a sudden?
163
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,161
It's easy.
The spider's crawling up your arm.
164
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,914
(SCREAMING)
165
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:46,211
Get it off me, get it off me.
166
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,171
Please, Raj!
167
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,301
Please!
168
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,016
My blood work shows
thyroid function normal.
169
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,392
Cortisol levels normal.
170
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,229
How about your
follicle-stimulating hormone levels?
171
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,940
Sheldon, I am not going
through menopause.
172
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:12,529
Are you sure? You said that
with the testy bark of an old biddy.
173
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:16,158
I think we need to face
the cold, hard truth.
174
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:19,578
I was sexually aroused
by Penny's friend Zack.
175
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:20,787
Hang on.
176
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:25,584
I don't know that we've given the
alien parasite hypothesis a fair shake.
177
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,795
Let's look at this logically.
I have a stomach, I get hungry.
178
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,715
I have genitals, I have the potential
for sexual arousal.
179
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,551
A cross we all must bear.
180
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,098
You know,
in difficult moments like this...
181
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:43,060
...I often turn to a force greater
than myself.
182
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,895
- Religion?
- Star Trek.
183
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,482
Did you see
Star Trek: The Motion Picture?
184
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,983
- No.
- Don't. It's terrible.
185
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,111
However, in it we learn that...
186
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,073
...when Spock finds himself
drawn off the path of logic...
187
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,742
...by feelings bubbling up
from his human half...
188
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:02,788
...he suppresses them, using the
Vulcan mental discipline of Kolinahr.
189
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,999
You suggesting we live our lives
guided by philosophies...
190
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:10,170
- ...found in cheap science fiction?
- Cheap science fiction?
191
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,051
What are you doing?
192
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:21,807
Using Kolinahr to suppress my anger
at that last comment.
193
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,768
Is it possible
that your concern for me...
194
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,479
...is motivated by nothing more
than simple jealousy?
195
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:33,568
I hadn't considered that.
Give me a moment.
196
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,073
- All right. I've considered it.
- And?
197
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,741
I reject it.
198
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,702
You reject it
because you don't feel jealousy...
199
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,747
...or because you are
suppressing jealousy?
200
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,750
I think I'll eat my lunch at home.
201
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:55,298
That's not your lunch, Sheldon.
Those are the cadaver brain specimens.
202
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,092
Oh.
203
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,719
As they were incorrectly sliced...
204
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,515
...you can see how I could
mistake them for my sashimi.
205
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,565
- Hello.
- Hey.
206
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,025
Isn't tomorrow
your usual laundry night?
207
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,195
The supermarket was out of
my regular fabric softener.
208
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:22,659
If this one under or over-softens,
I'll need time to make things right.
209
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,411
That's thinking ahead.
210
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,456
The alternative would be
to think backwards...
211
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,166
...and that's just remembering.
212
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,588
- So how's Amy?
- Amy's changed.
213
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,174
I might have to let her go.
214
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,884
Oh, no. Why?
215
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:43,763
I thought she was a highly evolved
creature of pure intellect, like me...
216
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,893
...but recent events indicate that
she may be a slave to her baser urges.
217
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,769
Like you.
218
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,773
I'm just gonna skip over that insult.
219
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,318
What insult?
220
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:59,112
Yeah, that's why
I'm gonna skip over it.
221
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,323
Are you saying that Amy is...
222
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,492
...what's the scientific word...?
223
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,786
Forget science. She's horny.
224
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,082
Oh, okay. Wow!
225
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:14,127
It's simple biology.
There's nothing I can do about it.
226
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,467
Are you sure?
227
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,220
What are you suggesting?
228
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:27,182
I'm suggesting there might be
something you could do...
229
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,018
...about Amy's urges.
230
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,816
It's illegal to spay a human being.
231
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,821
Yeah, it's not what I had in mind.
232
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,240
Oh.
233
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,908
Oh!
234
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:50,539
- You mean something I could do.
- Exactly.
235
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,959
Well, I was hoping to avoid this.
236
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,379
But I might as well get it over with.
237
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,631
Thank you, Penny.
238
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,050
I'll let you know what happens.
239
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,265
Oh, Amy, you lucky girl.
240
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,686
Yes, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
241
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:17,983
Is this the Zack Johnson who used to
have coitus with my neighbor Penny?
242
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,569
Sorry to bother you.
243
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,320
(PHONE DISCONNECTS)
244
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,115
(PHONE KEYPAD BEEPING)
245
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:30,203
Hello. I'm looking for a Zack Johnson...
246
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,707
...who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny.
247
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,209
Coitus. It means intercourse.
248
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,421
And I have a feeling
I'm speaking to the right Zack.
249
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,048
This is Sheldon Cooper.
250
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,134
Fine, Shelly.
251
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,095
Yes, that does sound like a girl's name.
252
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,556
No, it doesn't bother me.
253
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:53,602
Yes, Smelly Shelly does bother me.
Let me tell you why I'm calling.
254
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:59,232
I'd like to know if you'd be interested
in having sex with Amy Farrah Fowler.
255
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,735
Amy Farrah Fowler.
256
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,404
Yes, that is a girl's name.
257
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,741
Good grief,
it's like trying to talk to a dolphin.
258
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,910
Really?
259
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:15,332
This is gonna decide
who's the hero and who's the sidekick?
260
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:28,094
- You got a better idea?
- Every idea is better than this idea.
261
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,263
Ding!
262
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,141
- Wait, what the hell is "ding"?
- It's a bell.
263
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,603
- I don't think this wrestling has a bell.
- How do you wanna start?
264
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,730
I say, how about: "One, two, three, go"?
265
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,232
One, two, three, go?
That's for babies.
266
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,819
Okay. How about:
"On your mark, get set, go."
267
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,447
That's for a foot race.
We'd have to go outside.
268
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,991
No, it's chilly outside.
I didn't bring my jacket.
269
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:55,330
Oh, for crying out loud.
What kind of superhero needs a jacket?
270
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,831
What kind of superhero says:
271
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,376
"Dibs on the red tights,
dibs on the red tights"?
272
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,337
How about this?
Ready? Wrestle.
273
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,588
Are we starting now...
274
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,965
- ...or you're gonna say...?
- We're starting.
275
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,385
Don't yell at me.
276
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:19,145
I suppose there are worse ways
to spend a Friday night.
277
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,691
None come to mind.
278
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,655
Look at this stamp.
279
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:33,827
On what authority are they permitted
to mutilate patrons as they enter?
280
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,954
I'm sure it will wash off.
281
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,457
Little comfort tonight.
I look like a Hell's Angel.
282
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,044
There's Zack.
283
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,797
Are you sure
this is what you want to do?
284
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:50,427
It's not what I want to do,
it's what I have to do.
285
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:53,304
Well, go, Amy Farrah Fowler.
286
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,932
Follow your endocrine system.
287
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,728
- Thank you. You're a good friend.
- Please don't drag this out.
288
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,485
This is never going to come off.
289
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,571
Excuse me.
290
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,658
Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler.
We met the other night.
291
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:16,369
I have spent my life
in pursuit of pure knowledge.
292
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,539
Until I met you, my decisions
were founded in logic and reason.
293
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:23,042
And yet here I stand before you,
130 pounds of raging estrogen...
294
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,545
...longing to grab hold of your
gluteus maximus...
295
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,674
...and make Shakespeare's
metaphorical beast with two backs.
296
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,595
My gluteus what?
297
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:38,725
On the other hand, as I look at the blank,
ape-like expression on your face...
298
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:42,270
...I have decided to adopt
the Vulcan practice of Kolinahr.
299
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,190
- Goodbye, Zack.
- Bye.
300
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,817
Oh, hoo!
301
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:53,907
That should hold me for a while.
302
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:09,047
I'm legally obligated to inform you
that I took a karate lesson when I was 11.
303
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,090
I'd be a regular ninja by now...
304
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,760
...if my mom
could have arranged a carpool.
305
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:16,763
Well, I've been taking
a Pilates class at the rec center.
306
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,098
My abs look like sections
of a Hershey bar.
307
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,435
Oh, yeah? Won't matter,
you're going down.
308
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,270
No, you're going down.
309
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,231
If anybody's gonna go down,
it's you.
310
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:30,777
Fellas, it's been 30 minutes
and nobody's touched each other.
311
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:36,241
I'm glad you decided to reject
your animal hindbrain...
312
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,618
...and return
to the realm of pure intellect.
313
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,787
As am I.
314
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,751
- What are you doing?
- An experiment.
315
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:51,089
Nope, nothing. Never mind.
316
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:01,683
You realize you can't win.
317
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,852
I prefer to think that I can't lose.
318
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:14,112
You're wrong. It's only a matter of time
before you fall into Rat Man's Rat Trap.
319
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:18,575
You pathetic fool. If there were a
rat catcher, wouldn't it catch Rat Man?
320
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,202
Just because
I didn't express myself well...
321
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:25,081
...doesn't mean my underlying point
wasn't valid, you bloviating buffoon.
322
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,625
You narcissistic nincompoop.
323
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,377
You crimson coward!
324
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,589
Leonard, wake up. You're missing
some excellent superhero quips.
26108
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