Original subtitles

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

Don't tell me l've grown accustomed to that face.

[YAWNS]

[SNORlNG]

You never know how Beethoven is going to affect someone.

Disgraceful.

Dance, dance, dance.

lf you keep on hanging around with that stupid dog, Linus...

...you'll end up just as worthless as he is.

You'll be nothing.

Do you hear me?

You'll be nothing!

Five hundred years from now, who'll know the difference?

[SlGHS]

Youth never listens.

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

Did anyone ever tell you that you have pretty eyes, Schroeder?

Musicians get unnerved when you tell them they have pretty eyes.

Schroeder, do piano players make a lot of money?

Money? Who cares about money?

This is art. This is great music l'm playing.

And playing great music is an art.

Do you hear me? An art.

Art, art, art!

You fascinate me.

l'll bet l know something you don't know.

What's that?

[CLASSlCAL MUSlC PLAYlNG]

Beethoven now comes in spray can.

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

Schroeder, l think it's disgraceful the way Lucy bothers you.

And she's always asking everyone:

''Why does he have to play that stupid piano?''

l think that's terrible.

lncidentally, why do you always have to play this stupid piano?

What are you doing here?

Who wants to know?

Maybe l just like music.

-Do you like Beethoven? -What?

lf you're gonna hang around here, you've gotta like Beethoven.

All right, but l'll just have a small glass.

You blew it, kid.

Meh.

What's the matter, Sally? Why are you angry?

l'm mad. l'm mad at the whole world.

Are you mad at everybody in the whole world?

l'm mad at everybody.

How about all the trees and all the flowers?

l'm mad at them too.

l'm mad at everything.

Are you mad at the sky? And the stars?

Are you mad at the ground? Are you mad at all the rocks?

Even at the cars and buildings and TV and circuses?

And roller skates and bracelets?

You didn't mention jump ropes.

Oh, are you mad at jump ropes too?

l'm especially mad at stupid jump ropes.

Oh, but l love you, Linus.

No matter what l do, Schroeder won't notice me.

l've found out that the only way to attract older men is to flatter them.

They really like to be flattered.

They really seem to need it.

Well, maybe you're right.

[YELLS]

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

You're cute, you know that?

You're so cute, l think l'm gonna give you a big hug and a kiss on the nose.

That's real concentration.

Do you know what love is?

[READlNG ON-SCREEN TEXT]

On paper, he's great.

l guess l'm the kind of person who is kind of hard to get to know.

My personality doesn't lie right on the surface.

The real me is deep.

But l'm well worth all the time it takes to understand me.

ln other words, to know me, is to love me.

Ugh! l can't stand it.

[SlGHS]

That Schroeder is as wishy-washy as you, Charlie Brown.

He won't ever commit himself to anything.

Why is it that boys never wanna commit themselves?

All it would take to make me happy is to have Schroeder say he likes me.

ls this asking too much, Charlie Brown?

Well, l--

Put yourself in my shoes, Charlie Brown.

What would you do, huh? What would you do?

-Well, l-- -lf a person honestly likes a person...

...and lets that person know that the person is liked by the other person...

...wouldn't you agree that that person would then express his true feelings...

...that he likes the other person?

-Well, l-- -Wouldn't he, huh? Wouldn't he?

Perhaps l should be more reserved.

And by my actions only, let Schroeder know my true feelings.

-Well, l-- -Well, thanks, Charlie Brown.

You've been a big help. l'll try what you said on Schroeder.

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

Hi, sweetie.

Sweetie?

Look what l have.

lf we were married, Schroeder...

...l'd come in every morning with my feather duster...

...and l'd dust the top of your piano.

Then l'd dust the keys.

And then, just before l'd leave the room...

...l'd lean over with my feather duster...

...and with a coy look on my face, l'd sort of go:

Kitchie-kitchie-kitchie.

Well, of course we could always leave out the kitchie-kitchie-kitchies.

[SlGHS]

You don't like me, do you, Schroeder?

No, l never have liked you...

...and l doubt very much if l ever will like you.

But we won't let that stand in the way of our eventual marriage, will we?

l can't comprehend what you're saying.

Well, what l mean is when you and l get married, we'll--

No, l can't comprehend that.

l can't conceive of that ever happening.

[CLEARS THRO AT]

You know, Schroeder...

...if you ever wanted to lean over and kiss me...

-Good grief. -...l wouldn't mind.

l mean, after all, there's nothing wrong with a little kiss between friends.

On the ear. Why, how quaint.

How like a musician.

[YELLlNG]

lf the girls in women's lib ever found out how l throw myself at that man...

...they'd take away my life membership.

Most humiliating, of course...

...was being kissed by that dog.

l hate dog germs.

But l can't help myself.

l can't get Schroeder off my mind.

l've just gotta find some way...

...to make him realize that we're meant for each other.

l just can't understand it.

l just can't think of another way to get that dumb musician to notice me.

lf my own natural beauty and intelligence...

...fails to make Schroeder pay attention to me...

...l don't know what will.

Kiss? You mean give him a big kiss?

That's good advice.

lt's a great idea.

[COlNS CLlNKlNG]

Good grief.

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

[KlSSES]

Ugh!

l've been kissed by a girl. Ugh!

l've been poisoned. Get some iodine. Get some hot water.

Look out, everybody.

l'm gonna be crabby for the rest of the day.

l just don't know what to do.

l've tried everything and l can't get Schroeder to notice me.

Here comes Peppermint Patty.

She always seems to come up with answers to problems.

Maybe she can help.

-Hi, Sally. Hi, Lucille. -Lucille?

What's with you, Lucille? You look down in the dumps.

Oh, she's trying to get Schroeder to pay some attention to her.

Aha. L 'amour.

He's the kid who's always banging away at the piano, right?

That's him all right.

Hey, listen, Lucille, l think l can solve your problem...

...and you can help me at the same time.

The PTA is giving a big benefit and l'm supposed to line up talent.

Tell you what, l'll fix it up so Schroeder gets to make his professional debut.

That ought to make you a hero with him.

You mean it?

Just leave everything to me, Lucille.

You tell your lover boy that it's all set.

lt'll be his first big break.

See you, Sally. See you, Lucille.

l've got to tell Schroeder.

This is the start of my whole future. This is the start of something big!

-This is the first day of all my tomorrows! -Good grief.

This is it!

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

Guess what.

What?

What would you think of a person...

...if that person could do a great favor for another person?

l would think he was a very nice person.

What would you think if l could have you perform your old Beethoven...

...in front of a huge audience?

What do you mean?

l, your loyal and faithful companion...

...have arranged for your first recital.

l, your true believer, have personally seen to it...

...that you will finally perform before a live audience.

You have been signed up to play for the PTA benefit show.

-Really? -What do you think of that?

Well, that's very nice, Lucy. Thank you.

l'd better start practicing right away.

He said thank you.

He said thank you.

He said thank you! He said thank you!

He said thank you!

He said thank you!

Somehow l never quite know what's going on.

lt worked. He said thank you to me.

That's great, Lucille. Glad l could be of service.

Be at the auditorium this afternoon. l've got it all set up.

Just think, it'll be the first time he has performed Beethoven in public.

Oh, by the way, now that you mention it...

...that Beethoven stuff is out.

This is going to be a rock concert.

l'm afraid old Beethoven won't fit the program.

What? But that's impossible.

You see, Beethoven is his hero and--

Oh, l'm sure he'll understand.

Just tell him to do something with a little jazz.

But you don't understand.

Oh, l'm sure you can handle it, Lucille. Haven't got any more time to talk.

Just be sure he comes in with something good.

Just as long as it isn't Beethoven.

But he'll never--

Now what am l going to do?

That Schroeder will never agree to this.

What's the matter?

lt's terrible.

l have Schroeder lined up for his first professional concert.

And now Peppermint Patty says that he can't play Beethoven.

Good grief.

Hey, maybe we can get that combo together we had once before.

Maybe we can convince Schroeder it's okay to play some modem music.

What combo?

[PLAYlNG UPBEAT MUSlC]

[HUMMlNG]

Not bad.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe it will work.

Maybe you're right. Maybe it will work.

Hey, Schroeder, here's your combo for the concert.

Combo? Who asked for a combo? Yech.

You've gotta have some backing. Aren't they great?

Well, thanks, Lucy, but l don't need any backing.

Beethoven and l can handle it alone.

But, Schroeder, l just found out...

...they won't allow Beethoven. You'll have to play rock.

Rock? Me? Play rock?

lf that's the way they feel, just tell them to forget it.

-Forget it? Ah! -Forget it? Ah!

Yup, count me out.

But, Schroeder, you can't let us down. The honor of the team is at stake.

This is our chance to prove we can do something in the big time.

Schroeder, you can't do this to your own manager.

Pigpen. What about old Pigpen, your buddy?

Besides, this is your first concert, your debut.

Can you let your all friends down?

All right, all right.

l don't want everyone to be upset.

What do l have to do?

Great. Here's the music.

lt's a little quieter than rock, but maybe we can sneak it through.

Where do you want the amplifier?

Amplifier?

-Hey, where do you plug in the piano? -Ugh!

What kind of a piano is this?

-No plug for the amplifier or electricity? -Ah!

Some piano.

[PLAYlNG UPBEAT MUSlC]

[GRO ANS]

l've sold out. Like everybody else, l've sold out.

Sold out. l sold out.

There's no two ways about it. l sold out.

The kids are depending on me.

And if l don't play, they'll never forgive me.

But if l play rock, l'll never forgive myself.

[SlGHS]

[lNSTRUMENTS TUNlNG]

[PLAYlNG JAZZY MUSlC]

Okay, team, okay. Settle down.

As soon as the maestro shows up, we'll play.

Okay, Schroeder.

You and the combo will be the first act after the speeches.

No, l'm sorry. l've given it a lot of thought.

l just can't go through with it.

What does he mean, Lucille?

l won't do it.

There comes a time when we have to take a stand.

A person just has to do the things he believes in.

l'm sorry, Patricia.

Oh!

This is terrible. What will l do now?

The PTA is left without a program.

Don't worry, Peppermint Patty, l have the solution.

[CHATTERlNG]

WOMAN'S VOlCE: Ladies, ladies.

The meeting of the Coffee Lane School PTA will please come to order.

PTA programs also come in spray cans.

Entertain the motion to dispense with the minutes of the last meeting.

Will the treasurer please give her report?

And now, here's the entertainment.

[JAZZY MUSlC PLAYlNG]

[PLAYlNG CLASSlCAL MUSlC]

How come you never send me flowers?

Because l don't like you.

The flowers wouldn't care.

Beethoven never would have made it in Nashville.

What did you say?

What do you mean Beethoven wouldn't have made it in Nashville?

Did he have the Nashville sound? Huh?

Did he? Did he?

He probably wouldn't have made it in New Orleans either!

[ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG O VER RADlO]

[ENGLlSH SDH]