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1 A NETFLIX SERIES

Say goodbye.

Oof.

Oh fuck.

Oof.

Oh my God!

- Your Afro, baby. - Dude, my Afro.

- Your Afro. - Yeah.

- Holy shit. No. - Wow.

- No. - Please! You're kidding me. Look at you.

- You look so amazing! - Oh my...

You guys! Oh my gosh!

What did Daniela say?

- Carol! - Carol!

- Oh! - You look like us.

You look great.

Bring it in.

- Let's go. - Give me your stuff.

- Let's start loading the trunk. - There's no room. Give me that.

Hey!

- Look at you! - Whoo-hoo!

- Yes! - God! Uh, okay.

- You know what? I'm out. - Hey. Wait up.

- Hold on. You look gorgeous. I'm serious. - You're not going anywhere.

- You look amazing. For real. - It suits you.

- God! You look gorgeous! - We can't go. We look like shit.

- No! - No, stop it!

Come on! Now get in the car.

Should I get your bag?

- I'm just dying for a nice, cold beer. - Come on, girls.

- Hey, baldies! - Who's with me?

- Looking good! - The hell? What did you say?

- Leo, Olga! Move it! - Douchebags!

- Come on, just forget it, Leo. - Ooh, boy.

We got a capital C tattooed here.

- On our foreheads. - Hey, I thought we agreed.

No, we won't talk about it, okay? It's the golden rule of our trip.

Right. We said everything we needed to say.

And cried.

Okay then. No mention, hmm?

- Doesn't exist. - Doesn't fucking exist. Mm.

I mean, if our intention was to ignore the issue,

I'm not sure if shaving our heads was the greatest idea.

Well, it's too late now.

Okay. Should we draw the first paper?

- No, no. - We're making up rules already?

- Yeah, go on. - Not a rule, a game.

- Still sounds annoying. - They're the things we'd do if we were...

- Mm... if... whatever. - They could be a challenge or a wish.

Things we never had the guts to explore because we feared the consequences.

With someone else?

- Or maybe with ourselves. - Or everyone.

- Well, shit. Fuck everything and everyone. - Mm-hmm.

- Right. - That's what I'm sayin'. Yeah!

Come on, let's do this. Whoo!

No, let's wait till we're there and we can get organized.

- Why? - What do you mean, "get organized"?

This is our vacation.

- I think we just need to go with the flow. - Exactly.

- Go ahead. - One a day.

I say the sooner we can pick one out, the more time we'll have.

- No, make them the same size. - Hmm? Who cares?

We shouldn't know who wrote which.

- We'll recognize the writing. - Since we write each other love letters.

I don't even recognize my own.

Well, just in case, let's write in capital letters with our left hand.

- Okay, here we go. - Okay.

Wait, guys, hold on. Just a second.

- What? - These are really important.

- Shouldn't we think them over? - Start.

- You get to pick the first one. - No, not like that. Make it formal.

- Okay, guess I'll pick again. - No, no. Don't put it back in.

- That's what you picked. That's it. - But let's not read it.

Let's hold off till we get to the house, where we can...

- Let go! You're so annoying! - Damn!

Jesus. Okay, go.

Why're you laughing?

- Just because. - The game isn't for stirring up shit.

- Of course not. Give me the pen. - No peeking.

I won't look.

- I got it. Give it to me. - That's it. Done.

Maybe... No. It's done!

I've got mine. It just came to me. Uh, well, we'll see.

Don't look. Leo!

- Leo, come on. You're peeking. - I wasn't peeking.

- She was looking! - I didn't see it. I tried, but I didn't.

- Leonor? - Well?

- "Hook up with a chick." - What?

Who wrote that?

- We can't say. - We agreed we wouldn't say.

Oh wow.

She's kidding. Leo, you're kidding, right?

I'm not fucking kidding. Look.

HAVE A LESBIAN EXPERIENCE

Oh shit.

- What? - Okay, but we all have to do them.

- Everyone? - Whatever's on the paper. All of us.

Otherwise, it's no fun.

Well, all right.

We can't start on something this heavy.

- Carol... - I don't think we should have to do this.

It should be something we can all do.

Technically, we all can. I'm just sayin'.

Sure, that's easy for you to say.

For me? And why is that?

Alma, come on, girl. Do I need to explain?

Ah, so because I'm a lesbian, I'm dying to hook up with other girls?

No. Just for you, it's more natural.

Sleeping with my girlfriend is natural for me.

Well, you insisted on drawing it here, and now we're all screwed.

- Ah. - We were gonna be screwed sooner or later.

Look, guys, I'm telling you right now, I'm not doing it.

I mean, just even thinking about it is making me...

Okay, fine. Whoever feels like doing it can.

And we'll be cheering you on. That's that.

Fine. Then, whoever wrote it can come forward.

It's okay. We're not judging at all. Quite the contrary.

We're going to rally around you

and help you to fulfill your wish.

Wait, leave the tip.

- Oh. No. - Put your papers inside.

- Great idea. - We're not gonna steal the box, right?

- Let's leave it. Please. Not the box. - It should be included.

Who's holding onto it? Should we seal it up, maybe?

A notary could open it for us.

Maybe, yeah.

Miss I Hate Breaking the Rules is going to take great care of it.

- I'm not stealing it! - Shh! Shush!

- Don't put it in my bag! No! - They're coming back! Shh.

After the tip we left, they'd better not complain.

No, no, no. That's not what we all agreed on.

It's all of us or no one.

- Then no one. - No. It's all of us or all of us.

- Oh, so you wanna do it? - No, I just want to follow the rules.

Mario might be fine with it,

but God knows what Rubén will say when he asks me what the first was.

- I'm sorry? - Did you tell him about the papers?

Well, yeah. Of course I told him. What?

- Carol. - What did you do?

- Seriously, one more thing, you guys. - What?

Uh, let's all agree that this will stay in our circle.

- Of course. - Damn right.

Because as you know, what happens in the box, stays in the box.

- Obviously. - It doesn't happen in the box.

It happens outside of it.

And it only stays in the box until we take it out.

Ugh.

Come on, I thought they'd be things like, I don't know, like parachuting, or...

or watching the sunset, or going horseback riding,

or getting some random tattoo.

- Not this. - Whoa, chill out, guys.

Okay? Let's not get overly dramatic when there's nothing taboo about all this.

It makes sense that one of us

would want to try something different, out of curiosity.

Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say when you're not in a relationship.

I am in a relationship, actually, with myself, m'kay?

And it's much, much healthier.

- Yeah? Healthier than what? - I'll stop there.

Guys, please. It's okay. The game's whole point is to bond us,

to make us laugh, to face new challenges together.

Not to ruffle feathers, 'kay?

Well, I'm sorry, but no.

You can't just tell someone, "Hey, drop your panties."

Who knows? Maybe we invented a game that doesn't work.

There you go, guys.

Let's head to the house, and we can play card games, like always.

We'll get there and Go Fish.

- Terrible joke. - No, you're right.

Maybe we're focused too much on making rules instead of having fun.

- And relaxing on vacation, like always. - Sounds much better.

Well, why stop there?

Should we ask the charity to give back the hair we donated?

Hey, we all look so cute like this, and it'll be a lot cooler for summer.

Okay, so that's it? We can talk about the thing now, right?

- No! - Shh!

- Listen! Don't you dare! - Hey! Ugh.

But something we can do now is look at what everyone wrote down.

- No. Stop. Stop her. - What do you mean, no? Come on.

THE WIND

I think it's on the right.

Oh, this looks amazing!

- Wow! - I can't believe it.

This place is something else, right?

- You said it. - It's incredible.

- Wow, look at that view! - Incredible.

We've never stayed anywhere like this.

That's one of the benefits of moving the trip forward.

Because this place would have cost a ton any other time of the year.

Yeah, if we're lucky, one of us'll bite the dust every year.

Come on, Leo.

- Did you notice that? - What?

The way the five of us denied writing that paper

and then acted as if it had nothing to do with us.

Yeah.

Really, it's kinda sad we can't be open

about our most intimate desires with each other.

Yeah. Pretty shitty.

- It's not like we'd be killing anybody. - Of course not.

You just want to feel liberated, explore your sexuality, and that's it.

I dunno. Sounds nice, actually.

Go on, fess up. Which one of you wrote it?

- Where'd you get that wine? - From the fridge. Courtesy of Airbnb.

Already taking photos?

Yeah, dude. I don't want them taking it off our deposit.

We've gotta take pictures of all the imperfections.

Then start with this one here.

And careful with the floor tile here. It's broken and loose, okay?

Enough with the photos and flaws. Let's go to the store before it closes.

Who do you think could've written it?

I think it's probably Leo. Right?

She's so mad at the world.

There must be some sort of unresolved conflict.

You know, sometimes having it all figured out

is the most frustrating thing of all.

Are you saying that for me? Or for you?

I think it was Carol. 'Cause, like, all that time with Rubén...

Well, don't you mean only with Rubén?

Just one thing, though.

You'd tell me, right? If it were you, you'd let me in on it?

Of course. Of course not.

You know I'd tell you if it were me. C'mon.

- You see how ridiculous this is, right? - You could just...

Could I get some gusanitos too, please?

I mean, it's crossed all our minds at some point. That's just normal.

Yeah, sure it is. I mean, we've all thought about it before.

Only... doing it is something else.

The thing is, even just thinking about it...

And, I'm sorry, but it's kinda gross, right?

- Having that kiwi all up in your face. - Kiwi?

You know, kiwi. Or, like, papaya, melon.

Even those little tinier ones.

I'm sorry, what are those smaller melons called again?

They're cantaloupes.

Cantaloupes too.

Everything looks like a goddamn vagina.

This is for you, and this is for you.

- Thanks a lot, sir. - All right. Who's next?

I am.

Uh, can I get some of this cheese, please?

- This one? - Yeah.

The game was always about stepping into each other's shoes.

And helping each other explore things we never had the guts to explore

because we were scared of the consequences with other people or ourselves.

All right. Suppose we go through with it after all.

No, suppose nothing. We're doing this thing.

Well, sure. Fantastic. Let's do it. But it's not that simple.

Where are we supposed to find five girls interested in... having an experience?

Sharing is caring, babe. We'll find one for all of us.

- Ha. Me first. - Oh my God. You guys are so disgusting.

I don't know, Alma. You're the expert.

Expert in what?

You know. How to go about it.

Ah, I see.

You're interested in learning the fundamentals of picking up a girl?

Or perhaps you're more intrigued by the ABCs of lesbian sexual practices?

Uh, I, um... It's just that I'm not sure I can.

My heart is throbbing from this nonsense already.

Is it just your heart throbbing, silly?

Whoa!

- Ew! You're so gross! - That should count, right?

I think that should count because, honestly, that was a lot.

Let's go take a shower, psych ourselves up,

then grab dinner, have a few glasses of wine, a few laughs...

- Right. Then we'll see what happens. - Careful with the floor tile here.

- Well, does that count or not? - Um, pfft.

I don't think that counts. If there were tongue, okay.

- But without tongue? - No.

What should I do, my lost souls?

Let's see.

How can I style this, hmm?

How do I save it?

It's not like I can run a comb through it.

And then we're going to send it away in an envelope.

You're like Rapunzel. I love it.

Aw, little butterfly kiss.

- Let's make it purple, Mom. - Ah, awesome. I love it.

I can't get used to it. I'm looking, and I don't see myself.

♪ Goin'... ♪

Where's your mother?

She's coming. She'll be here in a sec.

Oh, you see? There she is.

No, sorry, my bad.

Here, take your chamomile. It's getting cold. Drink up.

And your mother?

She's still at Zumba. We're going to pick her up.

I don't know if I should do... a few lines right here.

Or dye it all.

Part of me is like, "Who cares? It's just hair. It'll grow back."

Just look at us.

Am I going to worry about my hair now?

LOCKS OF SOLIDARITY

♪ I am leavin' ♪

♪ Good has come... ♪

CHANGE PROFILE PICTURE

But you know, I guess sometimes we hold onto the dumb stuff

so that we can put off having to deal with what really matters.

- No, no. No fair. - Why isn't it fair?

You get to stay home alone, and we're getting sent to Grandma's.

Well, I'll be alone, crying every day.

- Crying? Yeah, right. - Mm-hmm.

Uh...

Wow.

Is that "Wow, great" or "Wow, bad"?

God, I can be so neurotic about these things, you guys.

Let's focus up.

♪ No ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

- ♪ No ♪ - ♪ No, no... ♪

You've got all your followers excited, that's for sure.

Mm-hmm.

So, what do you want for dinner?

I dunno. I'm not really hungry.

And you?

Oh, me?

Just you.

Okay. I've got my razor, hmm? Colored hairspray.

We have indigo, red, neon green, bright pink, and yellow.

Here we go.

Which one do you guys think?

♪ Don't go anywhere ♪

LIKE IT, HON?

Already on Tinder?

Yeah, I was just about to change the settings to find girls...

- But this hot guy appeared. - Yeah. You're not gonna believe it.

- I just bumped into him at the market. - Huh?

We actually had a moment together in front of the deli.

A moment at the deli? Ooh. You gotta swipe right. Yep.

No, no, no. Really, it's not the time.

- Dude, what are you doing? - I know you were dying to.

Get outta here with this, "Dude, what are you doing?"

- "It's not the time..." - No match.

There was no match?

Olga, you're the fucking boss of this. Don't you tell me there was no match.

I frickin' knew it. This is why I didn't wanna swipe right.

- And how did you know? - Because he didn't let me go first.

- First? Where? - At the deli.

He was there just before I was.

I thought to myself, "He'll let me go first."

"That way, he can check me out, look at my ass."

Y'know, all that shit.

- And okay? So? - He didn't.

But you know what? It's better this way.

Because I would've thought it was condescending, pathetic, and gross.

- "Go ahead, let me look you over." - No, I totally get it.

A guy checks out your ass. How disgusting.

Luckily for me, those things never seem to happen.

Okay, don't go playing the victim now.

- 'Cause these titties have admirers. - Hey, hands off the goods. Don't touch me!

Leave me alone! Let go.

See?

You guys? You haven't changed yet?

But why did you change? You looked so nice before.

Because you guys took so long.

And I got bored and started questioning my outfit.

Well, you looked much better before.

Yeah. Before, you looked hot.

Now you look like what you are. A housewife.

Yeah.

COMMENTS

Hey. It's a little offensive that you're asking for advice on your hair

when I'm just out here.

Hey, doesn't Rebe mind you running every decision

past your 400,000 followers?

425,000.

When I shaved my hair and uploaded the video,

I got another 25,000.

And yes, it really bothers her.

Have people been asking lots of questions?

- About what? - Well, about why you shaved your hair.

Uh, yeah.

- And what did you tell them? - Nothin'.

Someone was diagnosed with cancer, and we shaved our heads in solidarity

before she started chemo.

You said that?

Relax. I didn't say who it was.

You told them, didn't you?

We agreed not to talk about it, so we can't.

Not here or here.

So, people saw me for what I was.

An impulsive nutjob that forgot to take her meds

and was going a little crazy.

Don't you think you should disconnect for a little bit?

Come on, it would be like me asking you to disconnect from...

No.

It's not the same.

- I didn't say what. - Doesn't matter what.

It's not the same.

Oh, wow. Bravo.

C'mon. You help me do something cool, and I'll help you with your outfit.

But wait. I'm already dressed.

What's wrong with my outfit?

- Don't I look cute? - You'd look really cute.

If you were taking Dani to the park and wanted to be the coolest mom there.

- Which you are. - Thank you.

I'm not questioning that.

But you can't have your first lesbian experience like that.

- Mm-mm, negative. - No? What else do you want me to wear?

Miguel Rosende Roeb, Elena Ruiz Prado,

Miguel Sanz Esteso, Paloma Tejero Dobón,

Carolina Urquijo Muñoz,

Alma Valiente Pineda,

Olga Van den Brandt,

Sara Yuste Bielsa,

and, yours truly, Leonora Zamora Peña.

Sixth grade, class C, Amanecer School, 1997.

- Boom! - Bravo!

Bravo.

It's crazy that, because of our teacher's obsession

with seating everyone alphabetically, we ended up becoming best friends.

No, the crazy thing is me knowing the full names of everyone in the class

in alphabetical order.

- For every year, no less. - Amazing.

Is it amazing or kind of sad?

I'm joking, girl. Come on.

My genius.

What an incredible talent you have. Just... mm...

You guys, I thought of something.

Sorry, but that peck you gave me earlier doesn't count.

- Yeah, just hear me out for a second. - Okay.

So, the paper says, "Have a lesbian experience."

- Mm. - It might be referring to...

Fucking another chick.

- Right, okay. Never mind. - Hey, let her talk. Don't be annoying.

- Thank you, Sara. - Go on.

Well, the way I interpret it

is that it's all about going outside of your comfort zone, no?

By doing something you've never done before,

with someone of the same sex, of course.

Whether it's grabbing a tit or doing something like heavy petting.

Hey, Carol, that kiss earlier, it's never gonna count, babe.

It would be good to bring it down a notch.

We need to get through the first challenge and start this vacation on the right foot.

- Don't you think? - Let's. Tell me where the party's at.

There's a club nearby that's gay-friendly.

I'm sorry?

Excuse me. I overheard your conversation.

- Mm. - There are no gay bars around.

But they're open-minded at Club Trivial.

I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for over there.

- I've got passes, if you like. - Phenomenal.

Very generous, but I really don't think it's appropriate for you to be listening.

Yes, you're right. I've just been so captivated by your hairdos.

I saw you guys earlier at the market, and I'm a fan.

Big fan, but you swiped left on my friend here.

- That's why she's being a sourpuss. - Hey, Leo. Quiet, okay?

- Swipe? What? - On Tinder. She found him on there.

Oh, really?

Ah, well, I haven't gone on Tinder much today.

And so you know, I did swipe right,

and I bought that cheese you just finished.

- Okay. Mm. - Well, looks like he noticed you.

Ooh.

- Hey, no. We didn't order cava. - Well, well.

- It's on the house. - Wow. Thank you for this.

- Thank you. - Enjoy your meal.

Wow. That was so nice.

Okay, I have to admit, he's kind of growing on me.

- Careful, Olga. That one's a cutie. - Well, well, well.

Look at her face!

- Let's toast. - To the girls at the back!

Okay, girls, today's motto is, "If you do it, I do it."

And that's it. Let's do this.

Hey! Let's check things out and get some shots!

- Yes! Let's do it. - Shots! Yes, please.

Jäger!

Whoo!

I think those girls bat for my side.

Remember when you told me?

What?

- That you were, like, into girls. - Mm-hmm.

Well, I didn't tell you exactly.

You were seeing that guy Marcos, and he was so cute.

And such a drag.

One day, you said,

"Uh, hey. When you're making out with a guy, doesn't it chafe?"

"He's starting to grow stubble, and it chafes."

And I was like, "Make him shave." And you were like, "He does."

"It's just, it upsets the pH levels in my skin."

"And whenever we do it, I don't feel anything."

I said, "Maybe that's because you make him wear two condoms,

and you're suffocating the kid."

You said, "Uh, leave me alone."

- "It's scary." - Mm-hmm.

And then you turned to me and said, very bluntly,

"Maybe it's that you're into ladies." I said, "What do you mean?"

You said, "The other day, I saw a Playboy under your bed."

"What's it doing there, huh? Are you using it?"

I said, "I stole it from my dad."

"'Cause I don't want him jerking off, ignoring my mom."

And you were like, "So throw it away."

And I turned red as a tomato.

You said, "Maybe it's not just with Marcos."

"It seems like it's with every guy."

"I think you're struggling with something in that area."

"And it makes me mad to see you missing out on such wonderful things."

And you said, "Wonderful things, like what?"

I said, "Like kissing someone. Feeling butterflies in your stomach."

And all of a sudden, you said to me,

"Wanna try?" I said, "Mm, try? Try what?"

You said, "Try kissing me and see what happens."

And then you kissed me.

No, please. You kissed me first. Don't even joke.

I swear. You didn't give me time to react.

- Sorry, but no. - You went for it, and I was just stunned.

I think we need to review that.

- In any case, you weren't really into it. - We do.

I mean, it's not that I didn't like it.

- It's that... - You didn't like it.

The heavens didn't open up. You didn't get those butterflies.

And you said, "It's fine."

"A lesbian doesn't have to be into every girl."

"Especially not her friends."

"And I'm sure you'll figure everything out eventually."

"And you'll tell me, and I'll be glad."

Then we looked at each other, and you told me without saying it.

Yeah.

"It upsets the pH levels of my skin."

- That's the greatest thing I've heard. - Yes.

It was the worst excuse in the world.

And, like, it ended up becoming an inside joke of ours.

When we wanted to dump someone, we said...

- "He upsets the pH levels." See ya! - The pH levels.

Hello, my love. I'm doing fine.

We're just chilling out and yapping away like we always do.

We're having a drink, but we'll be heading home soon

because we're exhausted from the drive.

When I'm in bed, I'll text you, okay?

Love you.

- Excuse me. - Huh?

Why do you all have shaved heads?

A cult or cancer?

Second one.

Oh my God, I'm so, so sorry.

You serious?

Because I gotta say, you all look amazing to me.

Honestly, you've got this whole vibe going on. Yeah, you do.

So, each of you has it?

One.

Oh, that's the nicest thing I've ever heard in the whole world.

So brave.

- Hey, come have a drink. It's on me. - Uh...

- It's my bachelorette party. - Wow, no kidding!

It is! Come on!

No, it's just, they're waiting for me. I should go.

Wait a sec.

Don't tell me it's you.

- Please, tell me it's not you. - I can't tell you that.

None of us are allowed to say. It's one of our rules.

Of course. What a great way for you guys to forget. Hmm.

Even though having a buzz cut doesn't exactly help you with that.

Yeah, we're definitely starting to realize that.

- Right. - And our wishing game doesn't help either.

What wishing game is this?

What would be your wish if you knew you didn't have much time left?

Time left for what?

- To live. - Like, if you were getting married?

- No, like if you were dying. - Well, you know.

Pretty much the same.

- I'm kidding, girl. - Ah.

I'm excited, really.

So this game, you each chose something?

Yeah, each of us has a wish, and we all have to do them.

Wow, that's amazing.

You're actually giving me goosebumps. You feel that?

- Oh, huh. - Hey, wait. Are you playing right now?

- Yeah, we're on the first wish. - And that is?

Hook up with a chick.

You serious?

You 40-somethings are as spicy as hell.

Sorry, younger?

- Yeah. - Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- No, it's fine. Can I ask you? - Mm.

Where are you staying? Somewhere around here?

Yeah, next door, in a nice hotel.

Ah, and, uh, could we maybe go up to your room for a moment?

Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm getting married in a week.

- I'm not... - Yeah, and I'm married with two kids.

Oh, please, no. Just tell me you're not the one with cancer.

Married with two children?

That is so sad. Plus, I really, really like you.

Okay.

Here's the deal. I just need to go up to your hotel room.

- Yeah? - For a minute.

- Okay. - Yes.

- Call of nature? - More or less.

Hey, how can we tell which way people swing around here?

Gotta be patient, girl.

I'm sure if we stay right here and look really hot, someone will bite.

Well, they'll bite for you since everyone seems to find you so fuckable.

You know, what if we acted really slutty right now?

Start dancing like this...

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

What the hell? Get off of me.

God! You're so uptight, seriously.

Hey, there's a girl over there that's been looking this way.

- Where? - Eleven o'clock.

- Who? You mean that uggo over there? - Wow.

Are you fucking serious?

What, am I not supposed to try and aim a little higher?

Uh, Leo, you can always aim however you like, with men or with women.

Your problem isn't physical, Leo. It's your attitude.

- It's this heavy load. - "Heavy load."

- Is that a new way of calling me fat? - No, your heavy load up here!

- Up here? Here? - Yes, up there.

That constant black cloud above your head.

Let's go. The uggo's coming over.

Go. Go. Sorry. Sorry.

- Come on, hurry. Don't let her catch up. - Hey, you!

- Hello. - Yeah. Were you laughing at me?

- Me? - Yeah.

No. Why would I?

Well, you keep looking over here at me, so...

No, I was looking, but I wasn't laughing at you.

Oh. So, you wanna hook up.

Because if you're looking over and not laughing, you wanna hook up.

See? Not even the uggo wants me. Love it.

Excuse me. Your mom's an uggo.

Uh, yeah, she is.

My mom is a fucking uggo, but you're much worse!

- You seen yourself in the mirror? - You're gonna go home hot and bothered!

No, sweetie, you make me anything but hot and bothered.

Can you believe this midget?

- How tall are you? - Oh, I'm tall enough!

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ladies.

You see what's going on here, right? You guys are made for each other.

I'm gonna go smoke a joint and be right back.

- Uh, don't do this. - Just a few drags.

Oh my God. Don't tell me your friend is the kind of asshole

who thinks that us uggos can only hook up with other uggos.

- To be honest, kind of. - Oh, poor thing.

Come on, I'll buy you a drink.

Uh, I don't want to be your sloppy seconds, okay?

Ah, no, not seconds, honey.

You're 13th, at least. Maybe more.

I've been trying to score in this place all night.

- Thirteenth choice, seriously? - Yeah, well, it's tough out here tonight.

- What? - See? That girl keeps looking over.

Which?

- The curly hair? - Yeah.

- She's pretty, huh? - Mm.

She's looking at you and your killer look.

- Yeah, no. She's eyeing you up. - She's not.

That checkered skirt, it never fails.

Ah, it's the skirt instead of me? That's nice.

You're doing wonders for my self-esteem.

Hey, guys, have you seen Carol?

No.

This happens every time.

- Same old story. - Well, she did her part, yeah?

That peck she gave Alma was really something.

And for now, she's the only one of us who's gone outside her comfort zone.

Yeah, but the annoying thing is that I bet she took off

to avoid getting into it with Rubén.

Jeez, she can't just relax, even with us.

Man, I feel bad for her.

Who knows? Maybe she was just tired.

Hi, honey. I'm too tired to even take my makeup off.

I'll call you tomorrow. Love you. Kisses.

- Okay, we can go now. - Okay.

Girl, I see what you did there. Wow.

No, it's so he doesn't worry. He has a hard time of it, the poor guy.

Yeah, sure, you're such a little liar, babe. C'mon.

It's the first time I've done this.

Too bad, because that was total freakin' genius!

Why didn't I think of this before?

- Turn off the light. - Mm-hmm.

Voilà.

Maybe it's not the best idea

to take the photo with the giant dick near your head.

Oh shit, you're right. Imagine that.

Dreaming of you.

Good night, mi amor. I love you.

- He loves when I talk like that. - It makes him...

Okay, so listen.

You can't get back on WhatsApp now because he'll see you online.

Right.

What should I do? Do we check?

No, you can since it's only been a few seconds.

- I'm sure he's saying good night. - Oh, it's the girls.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh! I love you guys.

- No! - What?

Those sneaky bitches spiked my friggin' drink!

What do you mean, "spiked"?

- They put Ecstasy in my drink! - Are you kidding? I drank from your glass.

Christ almighty. I'm leaving.

- I'm leaving. I'm out. - That's crazy!

I'm out of here.

- Hey, know what? I think I'd do it too. - Do what?

I mean, if I didn't have much time left to live, I think I would, mm...

I'd want to, I dunno, try it with a girl.

Oh?

Though my friends are dead set on getting me an escort.

They've been saying it.

- "Escort this, escort that." - Wow, an escort. That's decadent.

Yeah, you're right. It totally is.

It's just that I've only been with one guy in my life.

- Ah. - And that's Chus, my fiancé.

They just think I should try with someone else, y'know?

- Yeah. - Not for any particular reason.

I... Just because...

You feel like you haven't experimented, that you've missed out on life.

- Uh-huh. Yeah. - My friends say that to me too.

Don't fuck an escort,

because it won't mean anything, and you'll regret it.

No, I won't fuck an escort, ever.

I mean, I don't care about Ecstasy or any of that.

But now I am starting to feel really good, though.

Yeah? Look, sometimes we think about marriage

and fidelity as giving up on something.

But let me tell you, for me, it's not like that.

I'm all for everyone doing what they want with their lives and sexuality.

- Yeah. - I respect everything.

But they need to respect me.

I really hope you don't have cancer, honestly,

because I liked you before, but now I love you.

God, this must be the drugs.

I feel like I'm having a panic attack.

Like I really wanna kill you, but I'm also horny.

Look at the nearly-40-year-old with two kids here.

- It's really beautiful, by the way. - Huh?

Your piercing.

I love it. I've always wanted one.

- Then it's yours. - You better not. 'Cause...

See? It's fine. It's fake.

- Oh? - Mm.

- It looks great. - Uh, for real?

- Amazing. - Yeah? It suits me?

Okay, so you also own the club.

No, no, no, no. I have a small share in it.

But I didn't recommend in self-interest.

Okay, it was out of self-interest, but in you guys.

Interest in us, like, in general?

So in all of us then? No one in particular?

None. Zero.

You know what?

When we were in line at the deli together, I was thinking,

"He'd better not let me go up first."

Because I can't stand any of that condescending shit.

To be honest, I considered it.

I said, "Let her go. Be a gentleman. You can check out her ass."

But I was in a hurry, so I said to myself, "I can check out her ass as I'm leaving."

- Oh, and? - It's nice.

- Yeah? Yours isn't bad either. - Mm.

How is your foray into the lesbian world going?

Well, let's see.

The thing is that I'm... I'm very... affectionate with my friends.

I'm very touchy-feely. I give them kisses.

I taught them how to strengthen their pelvic floors

with these things called Ben Wa balls.

See, I've never made out with any of them or anything like that. No, I haven't.

But when I picture it, it's not a big deal.

I really don't have many red lines.

So for you, this should be easy.

Uh, no. I don't like doing things when I've been told I have to do them.

So, feeling like I have to do it right here and right now is... a turnoff.

There must be some way for you to make it feel more natural.

Well, it would be natural for me to hook up with you.

But that wouldn't count for the game.

You ever done a threesome?

Uh, yeah. A couple of times. With two guys.

There's your challenge. A line you haven't crossed.

A three-way with one girl and one guy.

- Come on. - You'd be having a lesbian experience.

Please. You didn't swipe right on Tinder, and now you're proposing a threesome?

- Who even are you? - No, no.

I'm offering you a solution. It's different.

You wanna hook up with me. I wanna hook up with you.

But it's impossible because there's a woman standing in our way.

So, let's add her into the equation.

Look, I don't want a part in your pornographic fantasies

so you can go running to your friends, like, "Dude, I hooked up with two babes."

Mm-mm. I've been waiting to kiss you from the beginning.

Adding another girl is just a way of being able to do it, that's it.

Let me ask you this.

Does the idea that I might be diagnosed with cancer make you horny?

What do you mean? Do you have cancer?

Uh, why do you think we all shaved our heads?

I dunno. Because you're free women?

Empowered?

You do what you like and don't care what other people say about it?

I think I would've preferred if you'd have said

that it's because you're a commitment-phobe, yeah?

And that meeting someone who doesn't have long to live, well,

allows you to, I don't know, to fully indulge.

- No, I'm not that kind of person. - Well, I am.

So does that mean you do have cancer?

No, it just means that I'd love it if you did.

I don't know. I don't think I feel comfortable with this.

I mean, I know that I have it easier than all of you

and that my only obstacle is named Rebe.

No, I understand you perfectly.

I don't feel like doing it counts the same as cheating on Mario.

But if it were with a guy, that's a different story.

Right. Well, we said that we would do it, so that's it.

No, you don't have to actually do it.

This isn't a challenge for you. It's a challenge for us.

Well, what are you waiting for then?

Stop wasting your time with me.

I have to say, even without any butterflies,

you were a great kisser.

It didn't upset the pH levels of my skin, which is critical.

Okay, go on. See?

This supercute girl is sitting there all alone

and is probably pretending to send a message.

But I'm sure she's waiting.

So, go ahead. Show us how.

You're always setting the example. The one who shows us which path to take.

- I'm gonna do it. - Our oracle. Our ship's compass.

I've forgotten how to flirt, but I'm going.

The glue that holds this group together.

Okay. Don't you dare film any of this.

The rules of the game are similar for everyone.

It doesn't matter what kind of people you're into.

It's just this fucking society we live in

that makes us all obsessed with physical appearance.

Yes, you're totally right!

I mean, you saw me and thought, "Ugh, no way. What an uggo."

You never said, "Hey, maybe she's a fucking awesome person

who's fun to hang out with."

"Or to bump uglies with."

Hold up! You also tried first with my friend.

Well, duh. 'Cause your friend is hot.

And that shaved head looks great on her.

Whereas you, you're fat, and that haircut looks like crap on you.

Oh yeah, thanks.

Plus, we're both so awkward! You can see us a mile away.

We're ballbusters with resting bitch face.

- I mean... - People don't like that.

- No, they don't. - Not heteros, not LGBTQ+.

Nobody! Not even you and I like one another.

Well, that settles it then. Just fuck everything.

What does it matter if we're straight, gay, whatever the fuck?

When both of us are doomed to failure and being emotionally isolated.

- Yes. Let's drink to that. - Mm!

There's no way I'm drinking to that.

Dude, we have to change our attitude.

You and I both need to stop thinking that we're lesser than everyone.

- 'Cause do you know what our problem is? - Huh?

We are better than everyone. We're above them all.

- At the peak, the top! - At the top!

We're both smarter, and we had to deal

with a mountain of shit to endure all the failure

and social rejection.

I'm so sick of this shit, dude. We're like the fucking Joker, us two.

- Yeah. - We're going straight to the top.

- The top! - No more falling for fuckin' Batman!

- Or Batwoman, in your case. - Yeah.

- Because they are our fucking enemies. - Our enemies!

- They are our enemies! - They are our enemies!

So, we're going to destroy this planet and change the rules! Are you in?

- Heck yeah, I'm in! - Whoo!

- Hey, can I kiss you now? - No.

- Uh, how 'bout a hug? - Mm, even less.

Okay.

Well...

Could I be your vice president then?

I'm a little drunk, so I'll take the opportunity

to tell you something.

I love you more than the others. Really.

Much, much, much, much more.

On another level.

Hi, my love. Overslept.

All of us stayed up so late, talking away into the early hours here at the house.

Uh, call you later. I love you.

Fuckin' Ecstasy always blows out my ass.

Hey, cutie.