Original subtitles

THE TERRACE

It's ready! Come over!

Mark this restaurant name.

Fucking germans!

He's aIready investigated, can't wait for them to arrest him.

...so he can rest

We need another nice war.

Ennio was there, Roberto...

4 or 5 peopIe...

Hari Krisna's mantra is made of 3 names:

Hari, Krisna and Rama.

Hari is the power of happiness...

Krisna e infiniteIy enchanting...

I must insist you come, Luigi...

after the book presentation, aII back to my pIace.

Fireworks! During my parties...

Excuse me, where's GiuIio?

ActuaIIy, I'm not from here. Have a Iook.

I can't stand these parties anymore!

Too many fooIs. One shouId fade with dignity.

In NapIes, during the Iiberation, the best compIiment Toto got was:

''Toto, you are better than the American Army!''

HaIf a biIIion of government funding,

IocaI counciI and a smaII heIp from the Party.

It's a spectacuIar scenography! It takes over stage, arena and staIIs.

Do you have some pIain rice?

I don't get Sergio. Doesn't eat, drink or speak.

Why does he come?

To reassure himseIf he's right not to eat or speak.

Every time we bIame somebody eIse.

Last year Lenin, now Breznev and next...?

A communist in a capitaIist country... schizophrenia and uIcer!

Hari Krisna, Hari Krisna... but can I eat beans?

What do beans have to do with spirituaIity?

You don't get India at aII.

''Who's CharIus?'' asked Giovannino...

So MissiroIi said: ''I bet you haven't read Proust!''

And Giovannino: ''WhiIe you were reading, we were fighting the war!''

Excuss me, where's GiuIio?

I don't know him, sorry.

...but aIso the subject for the object!

Mother, heIp! they are taIking about young generations!

- Why? - It's an oId subject for oId peopIe!

Is Amedeo there?

WiII you avoid him aII night?

You have to face him, soon or Iater.

Later.

DarIing, did you see Enrico?

Aren't you happy you Iost him?

I paid the screenpIay 6 months ago.

He said he wouId finish tonight...

Sergio, you must come. I insist.

And after the book presentation, aII back to my pIace.

You can criticise any Iiterature but the ItaIian one... because it doesn't exist.

Nowadays some writers' eternaI fame Iasts 15 days.

...rare vegetabIes!

It's an Etruscan dish.

So it's mysterious!

- Good? - To be good it's good!

It was better when you were aII idiots!

Amedeo, I was Iooking for you!

What am I, a Iost button?

Why were you desperateIy Iooking for me?

I finished the screenpIay... aImost.

A miracIe!

PIease do teII me!

WeII... It's a satire of new...

- New conformism. - Right.

You toId me Iast year.

It's five episodes to make you piss yourseIf Iaughing.

Pity I forgot the potty!

Amedeo, this time it'II be reaIIy funny.

Too much seIf criticism.

We must be proud of making inteIIigent fiIms.

- InteIIigent and... - What's he saying?

That he hasn't written a Iine.

Aren't you happy?

Why do you say that?

Enrico, I just gave you an eIectric penciI sharpener.

and a typewriter, aIso eIectric

to heIp you.

I had to Iearn how use it.

I'm desperate, Enrico!

And I'm going to jump into the river.

Where's the river?

I'II take you there, darIing!

How caring!

PabIo emigrated to the US and enroIIed in Custer's 7� CavaIry

but during a fight with the indians

he Iost his right eye.

He had to make do with humbIe jobs,

busker, waiter and shoe shine.

What a cheek, eh?

Who is he?

GaIeazzo, just back from VenezueIa.

Young upcomer of theatre and cinema

...of the '50.

They don't make famiIies Iike mine anymore.

Who do I see there? Pardon!

Countess, watch out!

- What? - Your bathing suit is showing.

Instead of getting meaningfuI

you drag shaIIow ideas.

Why?

You write shaIIow caricatures.

- You are a cuIturaI bourgeois!

Yeah, I want to do caricatures and satire

not petty meaningfuII stories.

Because you are not abIe.

Neither MoIiere Iiked them! - Don't curse!

Truth is...

you narrow-minded critics don't Iove cinema.

Ah, I don't Iove cinema?

You don't Iove cinema! PIease!

Satire is coIIution with the powers that be!

If you want to Iearn about irony go read Ni...

- Nichiti... Nichiti... Nitchizze... - He means Nietzsche.

Nitchizze... Don't Iaugh.

Birth of Tragedy. Nitchizze!

The master of comedy...

Of irony!

Right... the master of humour!

Why do I waste my time taIking to you.

That's why they never work. They just argue aII the time.

You read Wittgenstein. Language's prison is smashed with comedy.

- Watch Toto. - What's Toto have to do with Wichenstein?

The comedy of manners

deveIopes sociaI conscience.

Nice sociaI coscience!

So it's your fauIt?

Let's thank Enrico for the shitty country we are.

- Buffoon! - Buffoon!

Look at yourseIf. How couId you make something serious out of...

a puppet...

a caricature Iike you?

Enrico, Tizzo stop it.

- Prick! - Stop it!

- Amedeo, do something. - Enough now!

Shame on you. You are friends.

- I'm... not... his friend. - StaIinist!

You too despise fake revoIutionaries...

but you don't speak up!

You are worse than him!

You know I Iove you.

Enrico is Ieaving.

And tonight Enrico is working aII night.

- So tomorrow Enrico is a wreck. - I wouId be anyway.

- I said I'm working! - Come on, Enrico!

Nicici... Nicicitizze... Niticici... Ticicizze...

Enrico! EmanueIa! Don't Ieave!

DarIing, it's 4 o'cIock.

Stupid, what are you doing?

You were supposed to bring me the coffee at 6.

I did. You were sIeeping.

I pretended.

Did you work?

Of course!

Is it funny?

Thanks God!

Can you teII the seIIer to stop...?

Signora Costanza?

I need a favour!

Can you move? There's writer who's trying to write.

What's he writing?

A Ioose and sIoppy story,

often faIIing in abused stereotypes

chock-a-bIock of second rate gags that can't hide

an inherent Iack of imagination

and neither improve this bIand cinema season.

Score by Armando TrovajoIi. Can you move over, pIease?

I respect art. I'II move at once.

- Bravo! - My pIeasure!

Happy?

Who are you taIking to?

Someone.

And now I'II sort you out too.

Who are you sorting out?

Why?

Read what I wrote.

''A mysterious murderer terrorises the city.

A detective disguises himseIf as a woman to catch him.

But they faII desperateIy in Iove. The End''

It's not funny.

It's vuIgar...

not popuIist enough.

The two things shouIdn't be confused.

Doesn't have anything to do with the new taboos.

- Can I say something? - What?

Yu are pretty, you know?

Get dressed! We are going to a nice restaurant.

Just you and me, eh?

It's 8.30 in the morning, but thanks anyway.

That'II cooI your ideas.

I'II Ieave it there haIf an hour.

You don't know if I'm in, ok?

You keep doing fuck aII, eh?

Don't study, don't work...

Daddy is paying.

But daddy is fed up!

Dad... I've been working in a bank two years now.

I am just back, I don't know.

Let me check.

Wait.

And you toId him you don't know if I'm in?

Do you think he's stupid?

What is this, Buckingham PaIace?

Where do you Iook for me? In my royaI apartments?

In the tower? In the banquet saIoon?

With KriemhiId and the Ghost?

Don't say you don't know!

I am not in!

Amedeo. How are you?

I was going to caII you. I finished!

Finished... what?

The screenpIay.

I have finished, Amedeo!

- Is it funny? - Yes... too much.

It's never too much.

These are difficuIt times, we need entertainment.

PeopIe want to Iaugh. A comic movie, above aII.

Laugh, Iaugh, Iaugh. That's your gospeI...

I'II caII the copyist. The usuaI 8 copies, eh?

No more, because the Iast come faded.

You are taking the piss!

You offend me!

Do you want to hear it?

He'II say: ''Not on the phone''

On the phone? Yes!

I am not doing anything.

What's the new conformism?

Not again!

''It's the new bourgeois reIigion

in Iack of broken taboos'' Right?

Bravo, Amedeo! Even free time is consumerism for you.

Consumerism of Iife, of entertainment.

This is the cuIturaI imperiaIism

from the United States

imposed to the worId.

Are you crying?

I'm getting to the point, wait!

Go on!

Yacht.

Yacht.

An episode on a boat.

In open seas?

CIosed. A port.

A yacht that can't move. That's the gag!

So you save, no?

Our freshwater saiIors can't use it

and Iive in it

WeII, that's interesting. And what's AIberto Sordi doing?

And what's AIberto Sordi doing?

The Ieading actor! What does he do?

Yes, what's is roIe?

Is a new rich who bought a 30 metres...

for cruises to the Caribbean

with aII the comforts of a fIoating resort

I Iike it. Keep reading!

I'm reading, I'm reading!

Mediterranen port. Day, outdoors.

Among the many boats

an ostentatious 30 metres speed-boat is docked,

brand new

The camera...

shows...

the boat dispIaying,in goIden characters, the name

''AIice''.

A friend has added with a marker: ''in WaterIand''

You see how funny you are when you want?

Any time he fIushes the toiIet

a record pIayer start

PIaying non stop:

For breakfast AIberto is cutting a huge watermeIon

as big as Saint Peter

and remembering his oId job he shouts...

What, what, what?

''Come have some!

As red as fire!''

Grandpa sprays everybody with the fire extinguisher

shouting: ''Fire''!

Leave the boat!

Panic everywhere. Grandma faints.

The coast guard is caIIed by radio

The heIicopter searches the open sea

and asks for the position.

AIberto say on the radio: ''We are here'' - ''Where?''

''Give you position''

''We are at the dock opposite the newsagent.

Next to the brocken fountain!''

Then doctor is pissed off and AIberto even more

''Come down, I'II kick your ass!''

The end, a big fight!

Cries, screams, swearing. Grandma faIIs in the water, grandpa jumps.

A big mess, and everything end in a big fuck-up!

Then... the ending must be connected with the others...

weII.... the other episodes.

What do you thing?

You are spot on!

Sordi shouId buiId us a monument!

How are the other episodes, eh?

Same quaIity?

Better.

When do we read them? Tomorrow?

- Tomorrow. - Great.

He Iiked it.

I bathe in rose water.

Rose is my sister who Ieaves me the water after she had a bath.

I have a maquiIIage, a big fouIard

and I'm ready for an evening

which I'II spend with CoIonna

Marzotto, Acquarone, RuspoIi...

A five courses dinner!

UsuaIIy when I get there...

they curse me five times

and I say, who cares about your party.

Do you remember? You wrote it for me.

I do.

I made everybody Iaugh in Caracas.

Why don't we use it again?

Let's use the gag of the dandy, nobody remembers it.

Amedeo toId me you are writing a movie

with a Iot of characters.

I'd Iove to have a comeback.

ReaIIy, Enrico.

I'm running out of money

Amedeo's money.

Didn't you make money in America?

I wouIdn't come back if I did.

I thought you were on hoIiday.

From what?

Over there I said: ''What the carachos am I doing here?''

I was an idiot to Ieave ItaIy!

Let me come back to movie Mecca!

What did you say?

Let me come back to movie Mecca!

I'd Iike to write of an ItaIian who goes to the American Mecca.

After 20 years starving...

Not exactIy starving...

After 20 years starving...

They teII him the Mecca is here.

So he comes back.

And here they teII him the Mecca his there.

TitIe: ''Going to the Mecca''

Is it funny?

No.

- I can't write it, then. - Why?

I can't write things that aren't funny.

I wrote an essay about the ways to make peopIe Iaugh.

10 chapters.

''Techniques to stimuIate Iaughter''

''Laughter and sociaI cIasses''

''Laughter as transgression and consensus''

''Houmor, irony, satire, farce''

''Death and Iaughter'' You see?

I am shreading it.

You know why?

Because I have no right to write things that aren't funny!

Do you understand?

Do you understand, GaIeazzo?

Do you understand, friend GaIeazzo? Go away!

Fuck off!

What's up?

Forgive me!

Hug me!

You are the best, GaIeazzo!

Ciao, go away!

Go away you too!

- Yesterday... - What did he do?

He said that our enemies aren't just the objects...

as victims of our power

... but some parts of our body too.

I sharpened it.

Thanks for coming.

Luigi, did you see?

CarIa Iooks great!

Luigi Iooks great, too.

WouId you Iike anything?

- No, thanks. - A coffee.

- It's nice here, eh? - Not bad.

- HeaIthy air. - Very heaIthy.

You aII Iook great.

GaIeazzo!

Are you ok, Sergio?

Amedeo? And Rome soccer team?

Don't mention it!

If the Rome team goes on Iike that, we aII end up here!

Here!

AIfredo?

The gentIemen wouId Iike...

Nothing.

I said a coffee.

Nothing.

Thanks.

You aII here, and you are so busy!

GentIemen, to your rooms! The doctor is here.

Thanks for coming.

You are so kind.

When one Iike Enrico goes crazy, he becomes normaI.

I want him back the way he was.

It's ready. Come over.

- I can't stand these parties anymore. - Why?

Too many fooIs. One shouId fade with dignity.

Excuse me, where's GiuIio?

In the American fiIms food is better...

I read Pinocchio again.

Hari Krisna, Hari Krisna... but can I eat beans?

What do beans have to do with spirituaIity?

You don't get India at aII.

''I bet you haven't read Proust!''

My dear Sergio, we got aII wrong!

We got aII wrong.

I feeI Iike a stereotypicaI negative character

Me too!

- Whose fauIt is it? - Of consumerist society.

And the crumbIing ideaIs.

Devoid of new vaIues.

Have a sandwich, Iisten to me!

''The onIy right of youth is to grow oId''

At the newspaper, a month ago,

they empIoyed 8 new young contributors.

They are aIready on hoIiday.

Mother, heIp!

They are taIking about young generations!

I caught Enza taIking about cuIture

behind your back.

Excuse me, have you seen Enrico?

He sIips, he runs away.

Running away is our bond.

- DarIing, didn't you see Enrico? - Aren't you happy you Iost him?

PoIice! SpeciaI services!

''They abused me''

''performing each a fuII carnaI act, twice''

''each in a short whiIe, aII 4 times''

''Before taking advantage they forced me to take their penis in my mouth''

''to be stimuIated''

Thus is presented the abuse.

The sexuaI abuse

with feIIatio...

can be interrupted with a gentIe bite.

But the Iady Iet them perform

the cunniIingus...

on what the divine D'Annunzio,

your feIIow countryman, Your Honour,

caIIs ''the second trembIing mouth''.

These excerpts come from the recording by

''Cinematography technician and workers''

During the triaI for rape in Latina.

In the words we heard, you'II find the expIanation

why onIy a few rapes are reported.

Because the victims become the cuIprits.

It Iooked Iike a recording

of a MiddIe Age witch hunt.

In fact our age can be caIIed a new MiddIe Age.

I noted down some phrases of the defence

''There's no rape if there's feIIatio''

''To drink you need wiII''

''The kind feminists who attend here en masse, wiII forgive my French''

''Ductus ad fontem, equus not vivet''

''In these cases, a gentIe bite is enough''

And then they move on to cunniIingus...

Pardon, Iet me introduce Mr CoIantuonico.

My humbIe opinion, kind friends...

''Ab uno disce omnes et de hoc et hic et nunc...''

Excuse me

but we must pre-emptiveIy differenciate

between ''judicandum'' and ''judicatum''

With two speciaIist stands

The Faps reaches the top approvaI

and becomes the pivotaI company

to promote sponsoship and price

in the DIY sector. - I beg your pardon?

- If we taIk about Weimar...

Did the newspaper change its poIitics?

Is it reactionary now? I said ''Don't count on me!''

''I have my name to protect''

(That's why he uses a pen name now)

Ennio and I said together:

''But he's dead''

Roberto, haIf deaf, says:

''Who?''

''Don't worry, it's just a rumor...''

spread by Satre. He says that ''the noveI is dead''

Once a Iady asked him: ''Ennio, what sign are you?''

''Pisces, ruIed by mayonaise''

Funny... and deep!

Enjoying yourseIf?

He teIIs the same story for the 50th time

and for the 50th time you pretend to Iaugh.

Once you were fussier.

- When I respected you! - No, yourseIf.

Why, did you admire each other?

God, the horror!

My bIonde Iady...

In the winter of '52, Mr. Sergio StiIIer here,

Viareggio award for newcomers,

even smiIed.

I have witnesses.

You stiII pretend to be the same

but your infatuation with yourseIf

is not reciprocated.

What a pain in the ass you are!

Why do you come to these parties?

It's easy. Just say:

''Sorry, I'm busy.

I've an engagement at the morgue''

Why don't you rather introduce me to your friend?

I don't know her name.

He's Luigi, and he's a piIIar of this terrace.

A monument... - A mausoIeum.

A mausoIeum, right. - Pardon.

What's your name?

- IsabeIIa. - I am Luigi.

I know.

IsabeIIa, an unusuaI but gorgeous name.

How did you get here?

among these dirty oId men?

Invited by the dirty oId hosts' son

But he's not here. He's not oId, but dirty for sure.

- Who are you? - Somebody you don't know.

I won't say more.

because the best in us

is what other peopIe imagine.

- How oId are you? - 1 7.

Like her when we met.

- Who? - CarIa, my wife.

- Is she dead? - No, I'II die before her.

being 20 years oIder.

Look, DonateIIa, it's her at the time.

She had a fringe Iike you.

She was aII cheeks and sweetness.

I was a famous journaIist, you know

an inteIIectuaI

I thought her everything.

I made her study, take a degree

I forced her into being independent.

Did I succeded, ArabeIIa? - I don't know.

I guess so, if she doesn't want to see me anymore.

She's gone to her sister's.

A break to meditate.

We meet often.

Show me your eyes.

Hers are better!

Sorry to disappoint, I'II go.

Wait.

Why can't you accept a diaIogue?

- DiaIogue?

Young peopIe bIame us because you have no future.

But to get rid of us you have to know us.

Look... I'm the past.

What was I saying, RosseIIa...?

How much do you smoke?

One a year. I'm 55, 55 cigarettes a day.

You won't make it to three packets.

Thanks for giving me hope.

We Iook for hope from the others.

I was at the RAI, I caIIed you but you were away.

I didn't say I was away.

You couIdn't wait to see me?

- Did I go too far? - No more that usuaI.

You are thinking: ''Not again''

- I said no. - Swear!

Now yes. Not again!

Happiness! Come get something.

Watch out, it's aII disgusting.

You were gorgeoous on TV.

- Did you Iike the debate. - Very much.

That one..

- Santantuoni. - CoIantuonico!

I couId kiII him.

- Tired?

- You? - I'm fine.

Look!

I have to teII you something.

It's been ten day, enough now.

Do you teII around that...

you forced me to study...

that you write my articIes...

that you were my PygmaIion?

Who spreads these Iies?

Everybody. Enza too.

Whore.

What's the worId coming to...

- AII Iiars, eh? - Yes.

I might have said...

that I didn't try to stop you

Did I?

For 10 years.

Leave it.

It's easy for you

Are you referring to the time I hit you?

Maybe once

I tried to stop you, but not now.

It's your poIiticaI duty to

embrace the ex chauvinist enemy, as Frank Furt says,

the Iast century emancipator.

Who...? You just made him up!

You don't faII for it anymore.

When you wore your hair down to your back

you thought Adorno was a fashion designer

and HegeI a misspeIIing of EngeI

Lecoq a bird

Bacon what you have for breakfast

Durer a beer, and WaterIoo the toiIet!

Come on, smiIe...

SmiIe, CarIa!

Once you Iaughed at my buIIshit.

You Iaughed and Ioved me.

The more you Iaughed the more buIIshit I said.

And the more you Ioved me the more I Ioved you.

Let's go home.

We said a month. It's been 10 days.

ActuaIIy, we said 2 months.

And it's been onIy a week.

Bitch!

I toId him!

I said, ''if you caII a woman a bitch, you are the bitch''!

- Am I right? - AbsoIuteIy.

- Gorgeous! - You too.

- You are inteIIigent too. I saw you on TV. - You are inteIIigent too.

- Where do you Iive? - San VaIentino street.

Once my grandpa was attacked by woIves, there.

- WoIves? - Yeah. I was a kid.

It was a swamp there.

How comes you work in such a great pIace?

Who works?

I just do the bare minimum. And don't bIame our Iaziness...

to Rome's atmosphere.

What do you bIame your to?

To my job I pretend to know and desn't chaIIange me anymore.

To the neurons growing oId, to the peopIe who don't understand me

or I don't understand.

ObviousIy your wife doesn't understand you.

She does, too weII.

Before I Iived for both, and she was happy.

And now she doesn't answer the phone.

Young cinema. What's the titIe? ''PeopIe's commune''?

''AII in common''. It a BaudeIaire's phrase.

Did you write the 40 Iines on Fasschinder?

- Fassbinder. - What did I say?

Who are you?

Ehi, Luigi!

Yeah. CarIa?

- I am not here. - I mean, I don't know.

We are editing the tempIate of a new magazine.

With my coIIegue prof. Pomarangio

Art, cinema, cuIture and society.

To demystify the surviving bourgeois ideoIogy.

Pass him NicoIetta!

Taboo and conformism!

Here's my mother in Iaw.

CarIa is not here.

At the tv station, maybe.

How are you?

Where do you take them?

Dunno, the movies.

Brava, CarIa. You deny yourseIf to the chauvinist maIe!

Fight the power of the imperiaIist macho!

Why are they in underpants?

To be edgy.

''...whiIe the country is in shambIes...

and awaites...

unambiguous...

answers...

to return...

dignity...

to the cohoperation...

among...

men.''

FuIIstop.

End of an articIe I wrote hundreds of other times.

since 1969

And if anybody doesn't agree,

better,

so I get pissed off and Ieave

with very appIeaIing payoff

as my friend Amedeo wouId say. FuIIstop.

The editoriaI commitee decided

that tomorrow articIe on the strike

won't be written by you.

Why doesn't the editoriaI commitee want me to write it?

First.

You are obIiging and repetitive

- Second? - There's no second.

Dessert?

I made a stupid joke to endorse

your compIete disrespect for me. You shouId thank me.

HeIp yourseIves.

You and Luigi engaged.

Luigi Iooks Iike a IittIe boy.

Not anymore.

He's an cIingy oId man.

I'm his age.

Sorry!

What's up?

Why are you crying?

Nothing.

I've been to the gynecoIogist.

When I toId him my age

He Iaughed and said ''No way!''

But after the test he wasn't Iaughing and said:

''Yes''.

I was five months, now I'm seven.

God!

I was hoping in a smiIe at Ieast.

Am I not smiIing?

He's...? - He's...

- ... professor Pomarangio. - No way!

He's IoneIy, kind...

so sweet.

And I've been widowed for 7 years.

Did you teII Ada?

Not yet. I'm so ashamed.

Why?

SiIIy!

We are having a baby.

You are right.

- We'II aII be happy. - And Tizzo even more. He'II say:

''Brava! You demystified the surviving bourgeois ideoIogy.''

''The behavioraI taboos!''

Mind the croutons, pIease

Once Enrico toId me that what matters the most in a scene, is the atmosphere.

And tonight it's perfect, cIear.

Shining gIasses,

siIver cutIery

everything in its own pIace.

I was saying, everything in pIace

Space and sound

When did we come here the first time?

WeII... winter of '65.

I bought you a rose from a nice fIower Iady

who I haven't seen since.

What a coincidence!

As nice as ever.

A IittIe oIder, maybe.

That night of '65

We didn't know we were creating memories.

Tonight too.

We shouId be aware, instead.

We shouId have the emotionaI inteIIigence.

You smoke so much!

A Iot.

Enough, thanks.

- You know, on tv... - You don't wear...

Sorry!

On tv they are preparing a woman's programme.

Good.

I was saying, you don't wear your hair the way you used to.

I asked the director what are the boundaries for such...

- Do you remember when we used to ski... - He didn't want to commit.

Pardon?

Sorry, what were you saying about the programme?

Brava... congratuIation!

- To your success! - I refused it.

I take it back.

No, in TV the onIy way to get something is to refuse it...

because no manager wants the resposibiIity of a controversy

so they'II accept. And what are my conditions?

To give my job...

a different meaning.

He was taIking about feeIings, her about work.

So...

the coIours got mixed up.

AII the cIarity got muddIed

Don't start.

Luigi, with a resented voice said:

''This evening won't have a memory''

''Let's get the biII!''

''CarIa, piqued, repIied:''

''If you wish...''

If you wish...

Waiter!

Where is it?

Where's the decency at your age?

He's crazy! Don't you say anything?

What do you say when your mom is pregnant?

- We ceIebrate. - Let's ceIebrate, then.

- You knew it, eh? - Yes, so?

She knew. They are aII the same...

Even great-parents, great-great-parents are Iecherous now!

What wiII they think of me?

The avant-guard, the committees

the ''new cinema''!

What wiII they say?

Giving birth at your age!

What do you give birth to?

A grandson, that's what!

BIoody oId Iewd!

We couId caII him Hari Krisna.

We shouId abandon the fruit of sin

on the steps of a church...

at night!

What do you say?

What if prof. Pomarangio finds out?

Shush with Pomarangio, eh!

Shush with Pomarangio! BIoody heII!

Sorry professor, it's nothing! AII sorted now. I'm coming.

I'm a jerk. I suck.

I'II kiII myseIf.

No, I'm a coward.

You are right.

I'm oId.

I beg you, CarIa...

CarIa, don't Ieave me!

Don't Ieave me, have mercy!

TeII me you won't Ieave me.

I beg you, CarIa.

Don't Ieave me, my Iove.

Swear you won't Ieave me.

Swear, my Iove.

Tomorrow I'II pick up my staff from NicoIetta.

Leave it.

What?

It is better to cIose an era suddenIy.

It's ready! Come over''

Sergio, don't you eat anything?

I'II get something soon, don't worry.

And Simona? Do you keep in touch?

Every month. She's going to DuviIIe. Presenting an urban project.

AII the emancipated wives become journaIists, directors, architects.

Not one who aspires to be a civiI servant.

From the stove to Parnassus.

Why not, when on the Parnassus there are so many men

who shouId be cIerks,

raiIwaymen or bakers.

AII the husbands deIude themseIves that their ex-wives were geniuses

even when they are unbearabIe dimwits.

Simona is not an unbearabIe dimwit.

Simona is not an unbearabIe dimwit.

No good.

...you think you are the onIy one with the Iicence of revoIutionary...

OnIy for the tone of voice, which is not a nightingaIe's.

Yours is a crow's.

If I have to, I wouId compare you to a cockereI...

I Ieft my famiIy because I couIdn't stand the soIitude.

He has a great future behind him...

How do you keep yourseIf so oId?

You are amusing me to death.

Another quote and I sue you.

Are you Mr. StiIIer from TV?

Yes!

ChanneI one or two?

You sound Iike your taIking to a fish.

Are you a young Iooking 50 year oId or and oId Iooking 15 year oId?

Your pick.

Are you aII jokers on this terrace?

Fancy joining us?

- I'm here by chance. - I stumbIed here by chance too...

for the Iast 20 years. - I knew it!

Once a Iady asked him: ''Ennio, what sign are you?''

An him: ''Pisces

ruIed by mayonaise''.

- A piIIar of this terrace - A mausoIeum.

MausoIeum is better. Pardon.

- What's your name? - IsabeIIa.

- My name is Luigi. - I know.

- Prick! - Enough!

- StaIinist! Yes, staIinist! - Enough!

Enrico is Ieaving.

And Enrico is working aII night.

So tomorrow Enrico is a wreck.

I wouIdn't be anyway.

I said I'm working!

MoIiero. Did you hear?

In here they mention ''MoIiero''

''MoIiero''.

Who do you think you are?

You do you think you are?

How do you dare mentioning ''MoIiero''.

Look, they toId me aIready!

''Aren't you eating too much?''

- Pardon? - ''The toiIet...

...is wasted on you''!

''You wouId fatten in a concentration camp.'' Considering I am Jewish...

...is reaIIy funny, isn't it?

Enjoying the bird feed?

When you become a parrot wiII you sing for me?

Never heard that one yet.

Not to join in, but how much do you weigh?

On my scaIe 62.8 Kg Here 63.1 Kg.

but it's wrong.

Let's say 63 too many.

Did you notice aII women are getting younger?

That means they were oId, or they wouId be the same!

Even MarceIIa, who is a year oIder then Mario.

Even Enza.

She does it onIy to spite me.

That's her onIy purpose.

I pity your tapeworm.

''Capitan Fracassa''

that noveI of poetic and ironic adventures

Is not interesting to me or the young generations,

you can be sure of that! I mean to expIore the modern myth

of Fracassa and his company, Iooking for a different roIe

in the worId of the theatre

which is a way to refIect on the actor's roIe in our society.

I see your point, but the pIot

shouIdn't be changed.

The moving death scene of Matamoro

in the coId and the snow,

is missing.

The snow is there,

don't worry!

After aII, I checked

with my coIIeagues at the committee

of my Party.

and they aII agreed

actuaIIy... CuteIIi,

our Ieader, caIIed the TV offices

and taIked to the Director in person.

In your quote

you mention 53 actors.

Acting comrades.

53 peopIe?

Correct me if I'm wrong, the comedians in ''Captain Fracassa''

are 7!

Sure... but if you read it, I incIuded a chorus

giving voice to the hero's thoughts.

A chorus-debate,

A Living Theatre with a paraIIeI debate, dr. StiIIer!

Ok, they wiII Iet you know.

I'm going to the canteen.

Today: pasta.

61 .

- Hi, PaoIino. - Hi, dad.

Don't you go to the conference on ''Democratic Cinema''?

No, the boss caIIed me.

Thank you, Sir. Goodbye, Sir.

WeII done... you are a big boy now!

About the new American series

''Honey Life'',

aimed at the afternoon sIot

I found you report

too, may I say, dry.

Your opinion, which I respect,

is not cIear.

I tried to stick to the technicaI side

Stop! AIIow me...

The word ''technicaI'' is not aIIowed here.

''CuIture'' is the word I want.

Ed I am asking you as a man a cuIture.

Let her in.

ShouId I Iook for an opinion,

according to you,

outside the RAI offices?

TeII me!

If you insist

if you care about my opinion...

I think the series ''Honey Life''

cuIturaIIy,

is non existent.

ActuaIIy...

ActuaIIy harmfuI,

because it promotes

fake images of a worId

foreign to our young generations.

Not onIy our youth

don't get anything about our cuIture, but they are brainwashed

by the Americans...

who reinvent, 20 years Iater,

not even the ItaIian Commedy

but... the sIapstick.

I reaIIy appreciate your view

controversiaI but constructive.

That's your roIe in this business

unfortunateIy, the purchase of ''Honey Life''

has been confirmed.

Let's now taIk about

''Capitan Fracassa'',

which was an oId idea of yours...

Yes, but... now it's something compIeteIy different.

I can't reccomend it, and the high budget...

As I was saying... About ''Captain Fracassa''

I have the pIeasure to announce that your idea has been approved.

by the board.

and today we started buiIding

the Iocations in our theatres...

Dr StiIIer...

Where are you going?

Excuse me, I agree on every point

I agree.

- Sir, the engeneer is here. - Dr. StiIIer, I'm Antocci

of ''Office CaIibrator''.

Good news! Dr Marinari...

...has been moved here with you

in the room next to yours.

Quick!

Just a formaIity!

We need to acquire from your vast office...

150 cm

to be aIIocated

to Marinari's new office

thanks to our movabIe paneIs.

Miss, can you heIp me

move the cabinet?

More, more.

There you are, stop.

AII done, dr. StiIIer.

We performed a bareIy noticeabIe

environmentaI reduction

Ieaving aII the functionaIity.

In any case, your are an inteIIectuaI

who Iives in the open spaces of cuIture and imagination.

I envy you, dr StiIIer.

Have a nice day.

Ready with the effects?

Test the snow.

Start the fog.

Start the fan.

''It was Matamoro.''

''The back against a tree''

''his stretched Iegs covered in snow''

''the Iong sword he never Ieft''

''was at an odd angIe with his body''

''For his performance in Paris, he used to reduce is food every day more''

''fasting Ieft him skinnier then a greyhound after a hunting season.''

''Poor Matamoro''

''finaIIy you are safe from sIaps, sneers and beatings''

''you endured in aII your roIes.''

''No one wiII Iaugh in your face anymore.''

It's ready! Come over!

- I'II organize the screening anytime you wish. - 3 o'cIock.

No, at 3 o'cIock you'II faII asIeep. Remember the emarassement the Iast time...?

- You are a jerk! - And you a Iout!

- CaIm down! - Are you fighting?

It's nothing, Giovanna!

He's just a communist who can't communicate!

- Who is she? - Compagnoni's wife, the adverts guy.

DarIing, did you see Enrico?

Aren't you happy you Iost him, da-rIing?

I paid him for the screenpIay 6 months ago.

Enrico D'Orsi is one of the best screenwriters...

he said he wouId deIiver tonight...

because the distributors have agreed

but if they don't read it they don't pay up...

Amedeo, pIease...

What's the fiIm about?

A movie about the behaviour of peopIe

who foIIow fashions

TitIe: ''the New Taboos''.

Ah... new conformism! MiddIe cIass behavior.

MiddIe cIass behavior.

Right.

But with a comic point of view.

5 episodes aII extremeIy funny.

With a pinch of sex, but in good taste.

In short... Sordi, Manfredi, Tognazzi, Pozzetto, Muti.

A revoIutionary fiIm!

Nobody beIieves in revoIutions anymore, why shouId the cinema make one?

How's the pasta and beans?

Good. Let's be honest,

if the cinema doesn't renew, it's not the producers' fauIt.

- Who's fauIt is it? - Is it saIty?

- It's fine. - I'II get some then.

There are great scripts around, but you don't read them!

For exampIe, he wrote a story. It's extraordinary, but nobody read it.

Is it funny?

You are hopeIess!

We are two strangers.

Another movie titIe?

We don't speak, we just pick on each other.

but you pick aII the time.

But when it's my turn,

I Ieave it. - Good, Ieave it.

How different are our girIs, professor!

Why shouIdn't they?

Once I was a Greek god for her.

Sure, when you where an extra in pepIum movies.

Right.

In reaIity, when I met him he was aIready in the gutter: he was a producer.

And you an actress.

Then she Ieft her career to work promoting pretentious fiIms.

- Was I an actress? - Yes.

He paraded me naked in his fiIms.

I'II Ieave you cooing.

Enza... a ruthIess put down after another!

We sound Iike one of my movies you despise so much

I even Iost my appetite!

It happens, after four pIates of beans.

Again! It's just the third one.

As a kid, making fanzines was my passion

which I soId to my schooI mates

and my teacher.

I kept working as a journaIist

but that was the most professionaI period of my career.

- How is it going with Enza. - Great.

She Iives onIy to spite me every moment.

BasicaIIy you are Iike Strindberg.

''An OccuIt Diary'', which you quote so often.

Totentanz! As you teach us...

- Kierkegaard too. - Who the fuck are they?

Enten-EIIer! You know!

- It was better when you were aII idiots!

I was Iooking for you.

What am I, a Iost button?

Why were you desperateIy Iooking for me?

I wanted to teII you about the fiIm.

Did you notice aII women are getting younger?

That means they were oId, or they wouId be the same!

Even MarceIIa, who is a year oIder then Mario.

Even Enza Iooks great.

She does it onIy to spite me.

That's her onIy purpose.

Are you paranoid?

Often we attach to others our own feeIings.

You are too inteIIectuaI for me.

you make me suspicious!

That's why you despise me.

- Who does? - Everybody.

Enrico, because I corrupt him with my money,

Mario because I corrupt Enrico,

Luigi because I don't Iaugh at his jokes

and Enza, because you aII despise me.

You forgot me.

You are the kindest...

because you don't care about anybody.

You mean, I'm the worse. Thanks!

You know the truth?

Deep inside

you despise me too.

Don't roII your eyes, I know it.

The truth is, we are so vane

that we want to be admired or despised.

I'm going. Are you coming Amedeo?

Ready!

Taxi, ready!

Address, madam?

He's funny, isn't he?

You see? Even as a taxi driver I'm despised.

Are you Ieaving?

Enza... breakfast!

I must run.

You run?

At 9 I have a screening for the judges.

I made you an omeIette!

But we need to taIk! During the day you are away, at night you are tired...

And in the morning I work.

Ok, go!

- You won't Ieave! - Leave me aIone!

I'II kick you!

You try!

What the fuck you want?!

Be with you, that's the fuck.

You don't need me, you want mom!

What am I, a chiId?

No, you are an oId man!

Amedeo, I don't know what to say.

You wouIdn't think!

A question.

Are you happy?

What?

- Are you happy? - I think...

when you don't pester me, I...

I think I am.

I never am.

I can't be happy when something dies.

- What? - Everything.

The passion for my work

your Iove for me

and perhaps mine for you.

We attended Franco's fiIm screening.

Then we chose the pictures for the IeafIet.

Did you stay at home?

No, out aII day with GaIeazzo.

But I remembered I have a Ietter to write

and I came back.

Tired? - Yes.

You work too hard.

You never rest.

I don't know.

We bought this huge house

and you don't enjoy it.

Amedeo, to teII the truth

this house depresses me!

You teII me!

You are never home.

And when you are, you Iock yourseIf in your room.

I feeI Iike in a dereIict submarine

Like captain Memo.

Nemo. Captain Nemo.

- Isn't it Memo?

I appreciate your corrections.

And you advices too!

For exampIe...

I was thinking about

that story you were taIking about.

That edgy, different story

of that young man.

- Giorgio Campi? - That's it.

So, if you Iike it so much...

Are saying you wouId produce it?

Sure.

- ''The apostate''? - The what?

- ''The apostate''? - What is it?

The fiIm titIe.

Ah! Nice, endearing. I Iike it.

Sounds good.

Do you know what it means at Ieast?

Enza, pIease...

I'm asking you.

Ok, ask me!

Ok, ok.

Anyway the story wouIdn't interest you. Campi is a director who...

- He's a director too! - Yes, his subjects are controversiaI,

confrontationaI and disturbing.

Odd!

He Iooks so educated,

refined... even a bit...

Gay. Say it!

For Christ's sake!

You presume what I think.

ActuaIIy, what I don't think.

Bring me the script tomorrow.

We'II read it together

We discuss it, evaIuate it.

Right?

A fiIm is a fiIm...

We read it, perhaps...

I and you couId go

to a restaurant. What do you say?

I Iove you, Enza.

Christ, I Iike you so much when you are so

angry! That's aIways.

That's the truth!

Campi's fiIm is just an excuse to be together

Do we need an excuse?

Yes!

Ok!

Come sIeep with me tonight?

Don't think that I just wanted...

That's not just what I need

even though it been 3 months since...

That's not it... ActuaIIy it is!

Don't you see how entangIed our Iove is?

If I wanted what you hinted at, you see

I couId have aII the women I want.

Even a few weII known actresses.

As you wish. Goodnight, darIing.

What a dickhead! What a jerk!

Ok, Enza. I agree.

Your wife is in the theatre.

Enza is working hard.

She is heIping me.

Stop! Can't you hear me?

There's no pathos! No edge!

Guys, you suck! Move!

Stop it, moron, and be in your pIace!

Why, boss? We are just fooIing around.

Not in my view.

I hate crew's humour.

Don't you dare again.

Give him a camera and JekyII becomes Mr Hyde.

Who is she?

The Ieading actress.

Doc, this director is a bigger dick than I thought.

You have to be toIerant!

He's shooting two fiIms. His first and Iast!

Pardon if I mind my business.

May I suggest

something intriguing?

For the brother-in-Iaw roIe... GaIeazzo.

- Perhaps he wiII accept. - Who?

GaIeazzo?

I might ask you as a producer. instead I'm asking as a friend.

He worked with Emmer, Mastrocinque, MattoIi.

He's got great energy.

Too much.

We know his jokes.

He has no drama.

He does.

Sure!

Are you nuts?

GaIeazzo for the brother-in-Iaw roIe?

That's what I don't get of you artsy-fartsy types!

You don't Iaugh when you shouId.

And you Iaugh when you shouId cry!

A great fiIm! CongratuIation!

- It's just a rough cut.

A breath of fresh air.

I enjoyed it a Iot.

FeIIini had to Ieave, but he said:

''PowerfuI!'' I heard him myseIf.

If the system grants a success, you contributed to the success of the system.

A fiIm fuII of aIIegories.

Doesn't even seem an ItaIian fiIm.

Beauty is universaI!

Before judging, I want to watch it again.

Awake, this time, eh?

CongratuIations!

I cannot Iike this fiIm.

- Why? - Too many Iike it.

- What do you say? - BewiIdering.

Even its mannerisms are manneristic.

CarIa, do you know our director?

Sure!.

Let me know about the interview.

You wiII wait! Not even his mom knows he made a fiIm.

I'II caII you.

A fiIm fuII of... aIIergies... I think.

He deserves some merit too, he Iiked it straight away

Make more fiIms Iike it.

I'm fIattered, and you?

A bit. And excited too.

What do you think?

Don't you think the audiences wiII appreciate it?

Perhaps.

Another fraud.

What do you mean?

Like mine and yours.

Are you ok?

No.

And instead we finaIIy found what fiIm critics appreciate.

and Enza too

who now is on my side.

We need fiIms edgy

and cynicaI.

Who Iaughs is an iIIiterate.

Listen, we must make another drama soon.

It's easy, if you know how to make them Iaugh, you know how to make them cry too.

I heard a critic taIking about a book:

''The torture garden''.

ApparentIy it's crueI stuff, a bit disgusting too.

We must catch up with times.

- Enough Iaughing! - Who's Iaughing?

What did you do to your finger?

I sharpened it with your penciI sharpener.

You are such a joker!

Now you make me a nice script for ''The gardner''. Ok?

Where can I see you tomorrow?

ViIIa Serena.

Did you move?

- I have more quiet. - Sure, so you can work better.

CaII me.

''Soundtrack house host, fifth''

It's ready! Come over!

- Do you have some pIain rice? - Too many fooIs. One shouId fade...

I don't get Sergio. Doesn't eat, drink or speak. Why does he come?

To reassure himseIf he's right

not to eat or speak.

He was a bit down recentIy.

- You aII are, recentIy. - And you aren't?

A communist in a capitaIist country... schizophrenia and uIcer!

...Hari Krisna but can I eat beans?

- What does Hari Krisna have to do

I feeI Iike a stereotypicaI negative character.

Lucky the young ones rejected everything

we oId generation say

or they wouId be our picture

and that wouId be disturbing.

No mass commitment, just individuaI happiness.

And than we have personaI resposabiIity.

They bIame everything on the grown ups

but what about their buIIshit of the Iast 10 years?

''The onIy right of youth is to grow oId''

Easy!

At the newspaper, a month ago,

they empIoyed 8 new young contributors.

They are aIready on hoIiday.

Mother, heIp! They are taIking about young generations!

Yes, why?

- It's an oId subject for oId peopIe!

You have a good reason to shut up.

ReaIIy? And may know it too?

Leave it!

Now you have to speak up! Why?

You think you were

the Iast young revoIutionary.

AII reactionaries, he?

- Interesting opinion.

Yours are very sharp opinions.

very sharp!

But onIy for the tone of voice, which is not a nightingaIe's

Yours is a crow's.

If I have to

I wouId compare you to a cockereI...

I knew it, typicaI communist macho who taIks about his cock.

No, you misunderstood.

I Ieave that kind of humour to your fascist friends.

You are mistaken, dear sir!

I am much more on the Ieft than you.

Sure!

I know your type!

You are the reaI revoIutionaries!

What time is the revoIution, madam?

And is Iunch incIuded?

- You are a jerk. - And you an idiot.

- What's up, a fight? - Nothing, nothing.

He's just a communist who can't communicate!

In my time this was caIIed a pun.

What do you mean you didn't get the cat?

And the nappies at Ieast?

- At Ieast we have the nappies. - It's nothing.

- Ok, but at 11 we are done.

ActuaIy, some aggression

adds interest to my parties.

- Who's that? - Cerioni's wife,

The one who deaIs in advertisment. - He shouId deaI with his wife.

She's a rabid bitch!

Mario... who dresses you?

BIoody... what a temper!

- Bruno! - No good... where's DonateIIa?

To dinner?

We shoot tomorrow and she goes out for dinner?

No, no, no... no good.

GaIeazzo, aIways the same...!

A speciaIised moron. MeticuIous.

Mario, Saturday I am presenting my new book at the ''Goose Bookshop''.

- You cannot miss it. - Sure. I'II come.

And after I'm giving a great party, wiII you come?

Of course. I aIways do.

You are gorgeous, CarIa.

- You too. - You are inteIIigent too.

I saw you on TV.

You are inteIIigent too.

What can you do.

Mario, Iisten to this one!

Party FestivaI with great Iottery.

1� prize: 7 days in Moscow. 2� prize: 15 days in Moscow.

Ah, ah... I got another one...

Let me digest them one at the time...

They aII say: ''Lucky you!''

Instead I am a weII-off who couIdn't be worse off!

Take heart, the best is over!

Don't you have any puns, jokes?

Depressed peopIe, what a reIief!

WonderfuI! What a reIief are depressed peopIe!

I apoIogise for earIier.

I went too far.

I went too far too.

I am not Iooking for excuses...

but... in this period I am...

Things are not going weII...

A bit of nerves.

A difficuIt period!

I don't see what's so difficuIt in your situation.

Goodbye!

They want my bIood!

Let's go home. I'II make you a camomiIe tea so you can have a nice sIeep.

Tomorrow wiII be better.

If I didn't have you, so strong!

If I didn't have you, so weak!

But that's a Iuxury we can't both afford.

What do you impIy, darIing? - Nothing.

You are superficiaI and you bIame me!

You write shaIIow caricatures.

You write over again the same superficiaI pIots.

- You are a cuIturaI bourgeois!

Yeah, I want to do caricatures and satire

not petty meaningfuII stories.

- Because you are not abIe. - Neither MoIiere Iiked them!

I am not an expert, but these posters

are suitabIe for Star Wars, not a poIiticaI campaign.

I am not teIIing you to do SociaI ReaIism.

Ok, if you are aII geniuses, do as you wish!

Who is it?

Ah! Ok, pass her.

Do you recognise my voice, which is not a nightingaIe's?

Ah, it's you!

I read on the newspaper about your speech at the ParIiament.

You kicked a fuss.

That was not me... It was D'Orazio, with an apostrophe.

Mine doesn't have one.

- Ok... it's aII the same. - Giovanna, and the shopping?

Mom... don't worry. I'II do it.

Sorry!

An when do you make a nice speech?

It's not Iike they feeI the need.

It's nice of you to caII me, Giovanna.

You see, I remember your name.

I am Mario.

No apostrophe.

M'ario.

I'm not into poIitics

But that night I wouId have attacked you even if you taIked about sport.

I couIdn't stand your...

I don't know, I envy your seIf-confidence!

Me instead, zero seIf-confidence.

That's why I am unpIeasant

aggressive.

Are you reaIIy so insecure?

weII... no!

I mean, yes. Can't you teII?

Do you know...

Do you want to know something?

Every night I cry. At 6 o'cIock.

In winter at 5.

because the sun sets earIier.

- We stiII have time. - Today it won't happen.

I mean... I don't know.

Why do you wear high heeIs?

Because I have the height compIex.

And I knew I was going to meet a taII man

Perhaps I dreamed it too.

I broke up with my famiIy

because I joined the cIandestine party.

You sound Iike a door to door saIesperson!

What did you say?

You mumbIe Iike Popeye.

At the time my father was younger than me today.

After that argument... I didn't see him again.

Wait a minute, we can go to...

But first

I'II get this damn maiI.

So much.

- How is MarceIIa? - Good. And FabioIa?

She buIIies me as usuaI.

But this is a Ietter from you.

You can read it and then we taIk about it.

Let's taIk about it now.

What is it? That project of yours for the Party?

I suggest a meeting to introduce it.

How many Ietters did you wite?

Five. You, Ingrao, TortoreIIa,

Natta and Minucci.

I propose... a coupIe of days retreat

in a hoteI in Grottaferrata. On me.

What do you have in your head? Let's discuss it in the Party.

I'd rather not, it wouId become a big discussion

about the intentions

and a triaI on properness

and in the Ietter I'm taIking about that.

My maIaise about feeIing judged.

Not onIy by the oId comrades, but by the new ones too.

and the generaI scepticism. - What are you taIking about?

The truth.

The truth can be written in a few words.

I'm compuIsive.

My dear Mario,

you didn't foIIow

your cIosest friends when they Ieft the Party.

BeIieve me, your IoyaIty

is appreciated by the Party.

But don't beat us over the head with it.

I don't misundertand you

with your inteIIectuaI friends,

Marxists, haIf-Marxists, non-Marxists, ex-Marxists

pompous, patronising

who want the Party to go souI-searching

No, it's a matter of precedence.

Can't you see the sky faIIing on us?

And even in the Party

we have big issues. The debate on the democratic centre

which has got a point.

Now...

Do you appreciate that your probIem is Iess important?

I do, that's why I feeI useIess.

I don't feeI I am using aII my potentiaI.

Maybe you are right.

Let's taIk about it. Your probIems are important too.

Ok, thanks. Listen, I wanted to ask...

I wanted to ask you another favour.

Are you aIways away for the weekends? You go to your counciI.

Yes, why?

Nothing... because.... I have the decorators at home

and I have... to write an articIe

do you mind Iending me the keys to your fIat?

With pIeasure.

Mind you, the boiIer is broken.

I toId you it's just to write an articIe.

And I toId you the boiIer is broken,

Ok, thanks. I'II return them on Monday.

But it's just to write an articIe.

Try not to write it as uninteIIigibIe as the Iast one.

Mom, did you take VaIentina to swimming?

Did you dry her hair?

Cook her dinner, pIease.

I'II be Iate.

Thanks. Bye.

Since I met you.

my mother in Iaw is happy.

Now she can take care of my daughter.

What about you?

Pook Giovanna! I steaI your time and patience

and I don't give you anything.

Maybe that's Iove. Don't you think, Your Honour?

What are you doing?

Are you crying?

Who's crying?

Sorry!

What's up?

It's crazy that I keep whining

wasting the precious IittIe time we can Iive together.

I reaIIy don't Iike myseIf.

You are aII so wrong... when you think I'm strong.

Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me.

What's wrong with you? It's 6 o'cIock.

Watch out! I'II read you my articIe again!

And when you try to be funny... you are a disaster.

My Iove, my Iove!

I can't stand it anymore!

I'm aImost done.

Can I get you anything?

- An ice coffe.

Just a minute.

I'II read this one too.

I taIked to my husband.

- About? - Us.

Don't worry.

I just tried.

He didn't even Iisten...

He's Iost in his work.

Like you.

WeII, not sure you can compare...

I know but...

you two have the same kind of stress.

I shouId Iive these moments

with more maturity.

but it's not easy.

You are not cIear.

Don't move!

- What's up? - We don't know each other.

It's MaseIIi... a good comrade.

Espresso, pIease.

Are you coming tomorrow to the meeting?

Whar meeting?

No, no, just a workshop...

the Party invited me...

How's MarceIIa?

- Good, thanks. - Give her a hug from me.

(If they invited me...!)

Truth is that our secret Iiaisons...

- Don't... - ...remind you of your adventures...

your twenties that haunt you!

ChiII out, pIease!

No more routine, the stress is reIeased...

That's not it!

I Iove you, I respect you too.

I am bored with everybody but you.

But it's not enough.

I can't stand it anymore.

It's so humiIiating!

Either we are together in the open, or we don't see each other anymore!

Don't name names. Don't speak up, pIease.

Friday we go out for dinner, no?

Chinese!

Living dangerousIy! What a hero!

Friday, sure...

Because Saturday and Sunday

are out of question. With your famiIy.

Your reasons are mine too.

But I'm ready to taIk to my husband...

to decide.

You must choose too.

Either me...

or your wife.

And...

...I beg you to choose me.

The comrades from Rome sent

the foIIowing message to the congress:

''The comrades from Rome saIute the congress

which testify the commitment of PCI

in the on-going and increasing fight for peace and progress,

for empIoyment, for the recovery of the country,

for freedom and democracy.

Those are, since the beginning of the century,

a reference point for the battIe of the proIetariat.''

May I show something that concerns you?

Is this...

...the articIe you wrote in my apartment?

MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT WITH BEAUTIFUL STRANGER.

BIoody heII!

Listen to the...

...poIite caption

''The member of cabinet of CuIture''

''addresses angry words to the cameras:''

''Up your ass!''

I just said ''Up yours''.

- Send them a rectification (!)

Is it a ''speciaI friendship'' as the tabIoids say,

or a serious thing?

BIoody serious!

Why don't you go to MiIan

For the congress on ''VisuaI arts and TV''?

But... it's not by fieId.

You'II stay away for 15 days.

Pardon, a comrade is asking for you

He's over there.

- Are you here because of the tabIoid? - No.

Sergio.

Sergio what?

In the fake snow, under a pIastic tree.

Arrest of metaboIic functions due to maInutrition.

He made it.

They found him 3 hours Iater.

He was compIeteIy buried in snow.

Comrades.

Today a friend died.

He died because he had aIready given up Iife.

and I want to taIk about it.

About Iife, not death.

Men's most common ambition,

Iaid down even in some constitutions,

is the search for happiness.

You might say:

''This is undividuaIism

and the Iong gone '68''

No, comrades.

It's something even more ancient.

Leopardi wrote in 1821 :

''So far, it's been appIied to poIitics

the science of nations

rather than the science of the individuaI, of his deveIopment,

of his happiness.''

But we know, comrades,

that we have to Iive with honesty.

That's why...

I'm here today:

to speak about a personaI issue.

Protests, buzzing.

- ActuaIIy it's not aIIowed!

- OK, but cut short!

Of course. I'II address the assembIy in the form of questions

so I'II be quicker.

I query to get an answer. First:

''Is it aIIowed to an oId comrade Iike me...

to faII in Iove...

Iike he was an 18 years oId?

I Iove, in fact

Ioved back

a woman I'II refer to onIy using the initiaIs G.T.

because she is married.

Second:

''Is it aIIowed that, to Iive with this woman,

I Ieave my partner of 35 years

who grew oId with me

heIped me, forgave me

and comforted me from some marginaIization in the Party

which I feeI a victim of? But this is another story!

Third:

Is this hypotheticaI

and painfuI desertion

reconciIabIe with my wife's right to happiness?

But I'm being patronising again.

As if a woman's identity

depended on marriage onIy.

But I wiII, I wiII ask myseIf this:

Is aII this reconciIabIe

with equaIity of responsabiIities

protection of the muItitude over the individuaI

which you and I aIways decIared

for a better society of free and equaI men?

In short...

is it aIIowed to be happy

at the cost of unhappiness?''

Comrades...

I ask you ''yes'' or ''no''.

Thanks.

The congress is siIent, bewiIdered!

You came, brava!

I received it this morning.

You couId have caIIed me.

I read it 1 2 times but I onIy understand that you go to MiIan.

I know, there are some garbIed passages.

But Iater on I expIain why I didn't cIarified them.

There is a note on page 9...

Did you see it? The point where...

... I expIain...

The point where I taIk about changing Iife when the future

is very short...

and the greater strength needed to Ieave things the way they are.

Yes, but...

it your moraI pricipIes, justice, correctness,

of ruIes to respect...

I can't see a pIace for me, too.

I Iove you, Giovanna.

It's aII there...

the Iast paragraph focuses on this subject!

''Love has no conditions.''

I read it.

Perhaps, from MiIan

I'II send a Ietter to my wife too.

Then I'II send another one to you too.

No need! I'II read this one again.

You write one, then.

No, no...

Otherwise you'II write me back!

That train is not Ieaving.

What do you mean?

''The independent union WiId Tracks...''

''decIared a series of waIk-outs''

''that might cause disruptions to the popuIation.''

''To the trade unions we repIy''

''that our demands''

''are unavoidabIe to defend''

''the interests of the category,''

''which otherwise are not protected.''

In short... it's not Ieaving?

I thought I was cIear.

We are aII dramatic characters

who act Iike comedians.

- What wiII you do now? - I don't know.

I'II go to the information center.

Or I'II go home I'II Ieave tomorrow.

I have the car. I can give you a Iift.

No, I have a train for MiIan in haIf an hour.

An hour or two.

- Is Bruno here? - There he is.

- Yu Iook great. - You too.

I saw you on tv.

Me?

It must have been the other D'Orazio.

- The one with the apostrophe?

No, it was you. They were interviewing you.

Maybe... it was for 8th September... of 36 years ago.

- WeII... - Ciao. - See you.

Did you Iaugh, when you found out I have a mother-in-Iaw with an underage pregnancy?

ReaIity is more tragic-comic than fiction.

In the cIinic I read PirandeIIo's assay on the difference between humour and irony.

The one with the ridicuIous oId woman fuII of make up

and then we find out she does it to pIease a young Iover...

And from comedy it shifts to drama.

Who do you think is more unhappy, a screenwriter or a cinema critic?

Their wives.

Why don't you make us Iaugh, tonight?

Wait and see. I know a miIIion jokes.

You are getting stressed for nothing. If ''The apostate'' is a success...

...the merit is aII Enza's and Campi's who made it.

- And for you, fuck aII! - Right!

If it's a fIop,

they are safe, because they are artists

but you Iose aII your money and you are fucked!

I asked myseIf: ''ShaII I ask an opinion to a friend?''. Thanks!

And I gave you my opinion: you are fucked!

Thanks, EmiIio.

My husband gives me security, but I'd Iike to feeI chased, too.

Why didn't you come pick me up?

I toId you that I haven't seen him for two months

It's aII over.

I even considered suicide.

but it wouId have compromised the marketing campaign of the soap.

Stop with that whisky!

It's not whiskey. It's ''GiuggioIotto''

of ''GiuggioIa'' from Parma. ''enjoyabIe on the rocks, too.''

Everybody writes but no one reads. In the cinema, everybody directs and no one writes.

In Germany there's a cIub where the onIy ruIe is...

not to own a TV or, if you have it, throw it out of the window.

We shouId coIIect 500,000 signatures to decIare the TV

a cIass-A drug.

- Barberini... nothing!

He's avaiIabIe for MoniceIIi's fiIm but not mine?

Ah... now it's not ''our'' fiIm anymore!

And Cannes? Did you taIk to Misraki?

What a hypocrite! You aIways said no to fiIm festivaIs!

Of course... the director says no, the producer sends the fiIm anyway.

Then I organise a nice conference against the producer

and we make a stir, you moron!

You know what you are? An arrogant and a cIimber!

Incompetent, idiot, Iackey!

- Faggot! - Whore!

- AsshoIe... In the shape of snake!

They met in a bookshop where he was presenting her book:

''The decIine of famiIy''.

Then she presented his book:

''FamiIy: the new concentration camp''.

And then they married in church.

With expensive after ceremony party.

Now they Iive with his parents and have twins.

How's NicoIetta's daughter?

Very pretty.

I have to come see her one of these days.

- And your job? - Good. And yours?

Great. FinaIIy they fired me.

- Ah! And what do you do now? - Nothing.

I don't a spare moment.

Do you remember what Sergio used to say?

''It's not facts that happen, just moods''

You cut your hear even shorter.

And you? Shades at night?

I'm mourning!

Pardon, I'm Iooking for cigarette.

I've got some...

We start from scratch, ok?

Amedeo and Enrico on a roII!

We re-start together, ok?

We know how to make them Iaugh, don't we?

Where are you with ''The new taboos''?

Let's go for it.

I want to change ''The torture garden'' into a comedy.

Do you know how I'II caII it? ''The tortoise garden''

Funny, isn't it?

If that's not funny...

Is it funny?

Enrico, is it funny?

- Amedeo. - Yes?

With that question you ruined my Iife.

Now I'II ask you. Is it funny?

What?

- TeII me, is it funny? - What?

- TeII me, Amedeo. - I don't know.

- If you don't expIain me. - Answer Amedeo, is it funny?

- I don't understand what you mean. - Answer me. I won't Ieave you aIone.

- Wait! - Is it funny?

- You are taIking Iike a...

- Is it funny? Is it funny?

How many times did you ask me since I know you?

One miIIion? Two?

Three miIIions times?

Now I'II ask you three miIIion times. Is it funny?

The cIinic made him worse!

So Amedeo, is it funny?

- Stop it, come on! - I'm not Ieaving you.

- Is it funny?!

- What do I know!

- Is it funny? TeII me! - Enza, do something.

- Answer, Christ!

- Is it funny?

- How's Enrico? - Better, now.

I'm preparing a series of interviews with ex Ieading figures...

of the worId of cuIture, show business and poIitics

Aren't we good enough?

No, you are not internationaI enough.

Friends...

PIease pay attention.

Thanks.

I want to apoIogise for this Iast performance of mine

Which was a request anyway.

perhaps to take the piss.

But I wiII take the opportunity

to inform you that...

You have aII broken my baIIs!

Yeah, you have reaIIy broken my baIIs!

LuckiIy, my pIane Ieaves in two hours.

I'II bring with me to VenezueIa

the sIeazy memory of you which wiII sweeten

the bitterness on my exiIe.

As for you aII... Stay the way you are!

Hasta Iuego.

As they say in VenezueIa:

Fuck me if you see me again.

- Come on, GaIeazzo...

- Wait. - He's kidding.

- I'II take you to the airport.

He got offended.

He's reaIIy Ieaving!

The VenezueIa messed him up.

Crazy!

But anyway... that's genius!

''Stay the way you are!''

It couIdn't be worse than this.

Correct. But he was taIking to you too.

He knows.

But he tries to save himseIf with seIf-parody.

That's what makes me better than you.

At Ieast I try to disguise myseIf.

But it's pointIess.

SeIf-awareness of being unacceptabIe doesn't acquit you.

You are generaIising.

We agree onIy on one point.

The biggest jerk is Luigi.

I'm the biggest jerk because I'm not as desperate as you are.

Who chases his youth and dye his hair!

I don't dye my hair.

Ask Enza.

Yes, I dye my hair and I wear a corset too. Look!

What's up?

Go, Mario!

Goddamn you! Why, why do I associate myseIf with you?

The priviIeged depressed... there you are! You are more disgusting then the happy priviIeged!

I can't stand you anymore! You, you and you!

And Sergio too, dead and buried!

And I can't stand anymore...

the moaning schoIar...

Who, of course, is the onIy one right...

but, pity, he...

he is obstructed by many hostiIe forces

Otherwise...

God forbid...

he might sort things out!

That unreIenting,

Iet me say it or I expIode, that reIentIess asshoIe...

- Who's he taIking about? - MyseIf!

MyseIf! I don't want to...

I don't want to see any of you ever again.

I don't want to Iisten to you. You are my... mirror!

What the fuck are you taIking about?

Who knows?

It's not true that men grow oIder better than us.

You shouId have seen Mario during the Nazi occupation...

a force of nature, aIive, positive. Wasn't he, MarceIIa?

We can't decIare war to Germany just to cheer you up!

At this point I wouId Iet the host come in and say:

''Dinner is ready''.

It's ready! Come over!