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Come on, Michael. We're waiting.

Okay, okay.

It's not like I'm gonna miss much.

I was there, remember?

Oh, I'm so excited.

All right, now. Everybody ready?

Here we go.

Ooh! Ahh!

Come on, daddy. I don't want to see this.

Hey. Watch my VCR.

I'm just going to breeze through this.

Breeze? You're going to break it.

I want to see all of it.

Aww...

Aw.

It's so close, Angelo.

Daddy, why don't you focus?

I love it.

Look at me.

Real funny guy.

Here's carmine.

What a beautiful engagement party.

You kids, you're so lucky.

Who was that?

Everyone say, "wedding nightmare!"

Have a happy day.

♪ I was living a total mystery

♪ but the attention's killing me

♪ little steps in which to hide

♪ I'm opening

♪ I never thought it could be quite so tough

♪ lips weren't sealed, they're splitting us

♪ there ain't no secrets to outshine

♪ by this time

♪ whispers in the dark don't do

♪ let's hit the lights

♪ don't discuss it, spread the news

♪ what are you tellin' me?

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you

♪ I don't have any fears

♪ oh, no

♪ I am positive

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you

♪ want to tell the whole wide world

♪ you're never gonna be alone

♪ our love is true

♪ hey

♪ too many words and too much cryin'

♪ I want to show them a brand-new girl

♪ I'm so glad to get the chance

♪ I'm opening

♪ I'll keep a secret till I know for sure

♪ so I won't have to pick my heart off the floor

♪ now it's time to take a stand

♪ heart in hand

♪ whispers in the dark don't do

♪ let's hit the lights

♪ don't discuss it, spread the news

♪ what are you tellin' me?

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you

♪ when I drop a tear

♪ oh, yeah

♪ you are always here

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you

♪ I want to tell the whole world

♪ I want to tell just everybody

♪ you're my cup of tea

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you

♪ tell the whole wide world

♪ your love never shakes

♪ oh, yeah

♪ oh, yeah, oh, yeah

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you

♪ I want to tell the whole world

♪ about my love

♪ the smoke gets in my eyes

♪ yeah

♪ I want to tell the whole wide world about you... ♪

Come on, daddy. This is so embarrassing.

You'll probably show this to the whole neighborhood.

Of course we are.

You gave me a quarter pound of capicolle?

Yo, Frankie!

What kind of service is this?

Why don't you people hire some help,

for or yin' out loud?

Take it easy. Where you goin'?

Hey, Mikey, come on. I gotta get out of here.

What, are you, in love?

Sure, he's in love. You're getting married, right?

That's right, Mrs. Lombardi.

You hear that, miss D'anucci?

She's telling the truth.

You know what that means?

It means that soon

I'm going to be taken.

So what do you say we close down the store

before Johnny gets back,

and you and me, we go in back,

we settle business, hey?

Don't be fresh. Come on, I'm in a hurry.

8:00.

Yeah, I should be out of here early.

It's pretty dead in here.

Mikey, what's the hell's going on? Where's Frankie?

Come on, Johnny, what's the matter?

You don't help customers no more?

You're a big shot now?

Hey, sweetheart, how you doing?

I'm telling you, miss D'anucci,

you might want to sit down for this.

Hey, Gaitarone! Get off the phone!

Hold on.

Hey, these people, they want to go home.

I bring you here to work behind the counter,

not to bullshit on the phone with some fuckin' prichiacca.

Hey! Don't do that!

Come on. Capotosso.

Go easy on me. I'm a regular.

I hope you don't got a weak heart.

You know what it is. It's the same list every week.

Counterman: Another party, huh?

I told you he works behind the counter...

Frankie, right?

Just because he's my cousin, that homo,

doesn't mean shit to me, okay?

You got to start acting more like a boss right now.

Take it easy. Relax.

You relax.

One more thing, Mikey.

Just give me a carton of Marlboros.

What did you do, hit the lottery?

Just come on. I got to go.

Take care of miss D'anucci.

I'm never gonna get out of here now.

Thank you.

- Hey.

It's beautiful out there.

Too bad you have to work all day.

You're going to be funny, huh?

What do you got in the bag?

You can't look. It's for tonight.

What's tonight?

I'm baby-sitting for Josie tonight.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

You're looking very good.

Get out of here. Get back to work.

- Bye. - Woman: Take care.

Better look now, Michael,

because after the first kid,

she's going to blow up like a balloon.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

$600 for 3 rooms near 180th street.

They got some balls.

Let me tell you, JC,

you either got to know somebody

or go through a real estate office.

Yeah, real estate.

They want one month security

and one month deposit.

They want 2 months rent for their fee.

Fuck them.

(Radio playing rock song)

This is ridiculous.

I got to go in there talk with her,

but I got to figure out what to say.

What's to say? You walk in,

and say, "hey, you want to go to a movie?

You want to go dancing? You want to go to bed?"

What's the big deal with this broad, anyway?

Brian, man, this girl's a little weird.

You do not know what you're getting yourself into, man.

You don't.

You better do something, man.

My ass is killing me.

You know, I think my best bet now

is that building over on Radcliff.

The super told me

there's a guy in a nice 2-room.

He's in the hospital dying.

350 a month. One month's deposit.

That's good.

Don't look now, but they're out there,

right across the street.

(Chuckles)

Donna, it's not funny.

They've been following me around all day.

So I guess one of them likes you, huh?

Oh, terrific. Great.

I gotta choose between mutt and Jeff over there.

I can't take this.

I got to do something.

Just go ahead. Wave.

Well, JC, now, what is that?

I don't know.

It's Brian. He's coming over here.

Donna, what am I going to do?

I don't know. It's better him than Kevin.

I need this now like I need a hole in the head.

Hi, Brian.

Hi. How you doing?

What are you doing here?

We're waiting for my brother.

He works in the liquor store over there.

And I seen you guys in here,

and I thought I'd say hi.

You want to sit down?

Yeah, sure.

You still looking for an apartment?

Yeah. We're going through a real estate office.

This is for JC.

Oh.

You need an apartment?

Well, um...

I told Mikey about this... my cousin.

He's got a house with a basement apartment

over on Hone.

I knew you guys weren't interested in it,

but, uh, maybe you'd like to see it?

Sure. Where on Hone?

Uh, it's off Rheinlander.

But, uh... Maybe I should go with you,

'cause, you know, he's asking for 400,

but I could talk him down,

say I know you.

Uh...

Yeah. All right.

Uh, can you go tonight?

'Cause, you know, I wouldn't want you to lose it.

I don't know. I got to work, you know?

Uh-huh.

I guess I could go on my break.

Great.

All right. Uh...

Can you meet me at the bar at, say, 9:307?

Yeah.

Great. Okay. All right.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

You shut up.

Very rich and creamy chocolate fudge topping.

This is good.

Reddi Wip.

This is very good. This is very, very good.

Super Fights.

Yes.

I brought my etch-a-sketch.

How come?

Jennifer. You know how hysterical she gets

when Josie leaves her with us.

Figure this will give her something to play with.

Yeah?

What do I get to play with? Huh?

Hmm?

Mikey, don't.

(Giggling)

Hi, Donna.

Hi, Barbara.

Hi, ma.

Michael, have you seen Benny's flashlight?

No, ma. How's it going?

Oh, you know your uncle.

I told him I can call a plumber,

but he insists

on trying to fix that water heater himself.

Okay, ma.

Oh, look.

"Do you have the perfect match?

"Compare your answers to those of your mate's

and see how compatible you really are."

Let's make sure

we get those fucking little monsters

to bed early tonight.

Now he wants the instructions for the damn thing.

I don't know what I did with that stuff.

Ma. Ma.

I think we need a plumber, ma.

You want to go tell that to your uncle?

Stubborn man.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I must have thrown those papers out.

"Your idea of the perfect evening is...

"A... a candlelight dinner for two...

"B... a night of dancing at a popular disco,

and C... an evening at the theater."

D... a night at Dom's bar

watching the honeymooners...

one of the original 39.

(Gasps) Michael!

Oh... oh!

- You want to play? - What?

You want to play?

Come on. You want to play?

Michael, come on. No, no.

All right, come on. Question number 2.

"Your dream house would be...

"A... a victorian house in New England,

B... a beach house..."

Stop it, Michael. Your mother.

Um, "C... a brownstone in Manhattan."

D...

a two-family house in the Bronx.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Me, too.

See?

We're so compatible.

(Rushing water)

Michael, call the plumber!

Mike...

come on, JC, I want to go.

Hey. I'm going to work.

I can't have you up my ass all the time,

all right?

You suck. I ain't staying here.

I'm going out.

Please?

You want to go to Anne-Marie's

and I'll pick you up on the way back?

Yeah.

1,2, 3.

Great. You owe me $14.

Here's your 1.00 back.

All right.

Okay, okay, okay.

Come on... 8.

Come on, Tom. Let's go. It's 8:30.

We should have been there half an hour ago.

Very funny. You're very funny.

(Squeak)

You believe this? He's worse than a woman.

All right. What do you want for it?

What do you want?

What is this?

Come on. No, no, no. Come on.

All right. Okay. Want to get out of jail?

Yeah.

All right. Get out of jail.

But you have to take me out

after your bachelor party.

No way.

Oh, come on, little brother.

Don't be a baby.

No way, no way.

Ahem.

Well?

Oh, Tom.

Tom, you look beautiful.

- Thank you. - You look real nice, Tom.

You want to loan me some money?

Think you're broke now?

Wait till you're married.

Come on.

So?

So? So, no.

You're not supposed to get personal like that.

And that's why I don't play with you anymore.

Oh, grow up.

Oh, Donna, the baby's asleep,

but if he wakes up, just give him a bottle.

But if Jennifer wakes up, good luck.

What's this?

Oh, shit. It's my clip.

- Be good. - Bye.

Donna: Good night. Have a good time.

Josie: Thanks, honey.

Michael, I saw that.

Ooh, ooh, hot! It's so hot.

Cheater.

They're gone, huh?

Let's talk.

Oh, yeah? About what?

Oh, I don't know.

About the wedding.

Getting married.

Yeah? You mean something different.

Sorry. I didn't know about him not wanting kids

in the apartment.

It's not your fault.

People get nervous about kids.

She ain't even a kid, though.

Christ, she's 12 years old.

Although you'd think she's 16

the way she's so boy crazy,

and that damn makeup she wears.

How come you're moving out with her?

It's a long story.

I just think she's better off away from my parents, you know?

They're really into drinking and shit.

Yeah. Sounds familiar.

Yeah?

I think it's pretty sickening.

Radio dispatcher: Car number 6,

there's a pickup at St. Clare's

going to 506 Hunt Avenue.

Got it.

Bingo night.

Want me to drop you off?

I don't want to keep you.

Uh, no. I can hang out, you know.

You mind?

No.

Okay.

Fucking Brian, man.

After all I taught him about women.

I mean, this one's going to bring him

nothing but grief. I can tell.

Yeah.

Shit. Look, I got to get back to the bar.

Hey, fuck you, you dick suck!

What the fuck is it?

I can't even find the right words

for a dick like that.

Suckhole.

I don't know, man.

I mean, what is it with these guys?

First girl they meet... first girl they meet,

and boom, it's all over.

Look at Mikey, man.

He's being led all over town

by this girl,

like a dog on a leash.

It breaks my heart every time I see it.

Yeah.

Hey, where is he tonight?

- Mikey? - Yeah.

With Donna, taking care of his sister's kids.

Let's go get him. Let's cheer him up.

I told you he's with Donna.

They're baby-sitting.

So what, man?

I mean, he ain't gonna mind a little company.

TV: We'd like to congratulate each and every one of you,

and take a look

at our very next last-chance sale.

These will scream out of here.

I only have 3 dozen copper cookware for $75.

For $75, you're going to get copper cookware.

That is a steal.

If you're a first-time caller, take $5.00 off.

It's yours for 70.

You cannot afford to really miss out on this one

in the copper cookware.

A 13-piece cookware set.

This is...

(Indian call)

What is that?

That could be only one asshole

in the whole world.

Mikey! Hey, Mikey, come on!

Fucking Kevin.

He wakes up the baby,

I'm gonna fucking kill him.

Okay, listen.

I need to go talk to him for a minute, okay?

I'll get rid of him. I'll be right back, okay?

Okay?

Okay?

Kevin: Come on, Mikey, man.

Don't move.

Come on. What are you guys doing in there?

Shut the fuck up.

Come on, let's get the fuck out of here.

Jennifer: I want to watch cartoons.

Jennifer, go back to bed.

There are no cartoons.

Let me just talk to her.

All right. Hurry up.

Shut up, okay?

I promise.

Okay, you fuckhead.

Hi.

Listen, I'll go out for just a little while, okay?

Then I'll come back. It's Kevin and Dom.

They're both out there in the car.

Michael...

Donna, I'll be gone an hour.

An hour and a half at the most.

Come on, what are you making that face for?

Come on, come on.

Get out of here.

Go ahead, go. And don't forget to come back.

Oh, you are beautiful.

- Get out. - I don't deserve you.

That's right.

Get out of here!

Bye-bye.

Hey, guys!

Dom: Mikey, baby! All right.

Dom.

Yeah, but, I can't talk no more. I got to go home.

Listen, I don't know why this guy's got an attitude problem.

He's like all fucking guys.

They're idiots.

Yeah. Yeah.

But I can't talk no more. I gotta go.

Talk to you later. Bye.

Yo, Yvonne.

How you doin', babe?

Ooh.

Hi.

Oh, my god.

You know who I forgot?

What's her name?

What's her name from the place there?

Yvonne, you know?

Ma, would you talk English?

What, Marie from the pet store?

Marie. Marie from the pet store.

We have to invite her.

Over there.

We went to her daughter's wedding.

Oh, my god.

What now, Angelo, more junk?

The old tenants left it behind.

It's a conventional oven.

It's practically new.

Yeah, except it doesn't work.

I'm gonna fix it.

Pretty soon we're gonna need another apartment

for all this stuff you're gonna fix.

I'll fix it.

Ohh, I give up.

How many invitations you got left?

3 more.

Who's left?

I don't know.

I don't know half these people.

Well, Mikey, at least you'll know

who you'll be with at the wedding.

I got a total stranger for a partner.

Nicky's not a stranger. He's your cousin.

You used to play together when you was kids.

Hello, ma, I was 2 years old.

Ushers, bridesmaids, who's with who?

When me and Fran got married,

we didn't have all of this.

Ohh. Let's get out the violins.

It was different with us, Angelo.

No party, no nothing.

What about the family?

Family? What family?

Wait a minute.

Ange, you eloped?

Ma, you never told me.

It was nothing.

We had trouble with the family.

You know... They wasn't too crazy

about us getting married so young.

That's stupid. Why?

I don't know. But it worked out, huh?

Yeah.

A big wedding like this, it's nice, huh?

'Cause everybody celebrates,

and we're all happy, right?

Ri...

right.

Let's make a decision

on which room you're gonna use for your reception.

As I remember, there are 200 people in your party?

Yeah.

Okay. I think this, then. The St. Lawrence room.

It seats about 250.

As you can see, it's very elegant, romantic, and contemporary.

Yeah.

Okay. Now, what is the color scheme

of your bridal party?

Well, the bridesmaids

are going to be in the rainbow gowns,

like green, yellow, and blue pastels.

That's very nice. We can do a lot with that

in terms of flowers, decorations, and such.

Now, you've selected a menu

of prime rib, baby peas, and mashed potatoes.

We often color the potatoes

to match the colors of the wedding.

Oh, yeah?

But with rainbow, you can go with anything.

Might I suggest a pale blue?

That's nice.

Wait a minute.

Did you say blue mashed potatoes?

Yes.

No. We're not having

blue mashed potatoes at this wedding.

What kind of blue?

Sort of a sky blue.

Get out of here.

I'm not eating blue food. Okay?

Come on, Michael. It'll look cool.

Donna, it'll look nutty.

Whoever heard of eating blue food?

There's no such thing as blue food in real life.

Michael, this is not real life.

That's right. Michael, this is your day,

and you should feel that anything is possible.

Sort of a fantasy day.

Oh, man.

Come on, buddy. It'll look cool.

I don't believe this.

I told you, we should have went with French fries.

Blue's great.

Good.

See, but this is part of a set.

Let me explain. I'll show you.

See, this one is plain,

So you wear this for, like, everyday...

going out, for shopping, things like that.

Okay?

This one with the 3 diamonds on it?

You wear this for going, like, out on the weekends.

The one you have in your hand, okay,

women wear that on special occasions.

Otherwise they keep it in the safe deposit box,

locked up. This is very expensive.

And which one does she wear to get married in?

She wears all 3. Because they all got to be blessed.

What do you think, ma?

Sounds like an awful lot of trouble.

You see this here set?

This here set is a real heirloom piece.

Believe me.

It's classy, and for only 3 grand, it's a steal.

Cut the shit, will you, Ernie?

You know my nephew ain't rich.

Show him something a little plainer.

Something simple. Okay.

Okay. No problem. Whatever they want. Here.

Oh, that's pretty.

That's nice.

What do you think?

Yeah, I like that.

I think it's really nice,

and I could let you have that for really a bargain.

Like it?

Okay.

Okay. So you want a set of these.

This is the matching ladies' and men's, okay?

I don't know if I want...

that's right. Both.

Both of them? Okay.

Mikey will wear it. He's one of those modern guys.

Come on, Mike.

Okay, I'll order these from my supplier

and I'll have them for you in about a week.

All right, now,

as far as the bridal party's concerned,

my gifts for the bridal party...

here. I got some beautiful necklaces

for the bridesmaids.

And this is for the ushers...

some nice Christ heads.

The one on the left is very classy.

Yeah, but, uh, this one here,

it's... it's younger-looking.

What do you think?

I don't know.

They all look alike to me.

I can't decide which one.

That's very easy. None.

We're wearing black.

Black? No. You got to match the gowns.

You're wearing gray tuxedos

with pastel-colored shirts.

No. Black with white shirts.

Oh, black with white.

That's... that's very nice, too.

Yeah, at his fucking funeral, maybe.

Give me one reason. Give me one good reason why.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

If I don't get home,

my father gonna have a shit fit.

Forget it. When they get like this,

it could take hours. Believe me, I know.

Tradition, that's why.

Oh, man.

That's right. Tradition.

The bride and groom ain't supposed to see each other

the night of the bachelor party.

No, that's the night before the wedding,

not the night of the bachelor party.

Don't get involved. It's none of your business.

It's ridiculous, okay? It's fucking ridiculous.

Who the fuck ever heard

of having your girlfriend at your bachelor party?

Oh, come on, Michael. I said after the party...

after the party we could get together.

No! After...

♪ radio: 7 days of the week

♪ is where Johnny went

♪ on the corner of 5th and Connecticut

♪ you were in the wrong place

♪ at the wrong time

♪ now the price you're gonna pay

♪ is cool Johnny's crime

♪ cool Johnny... ♪

After uncle Benny's party,

I'm gonna go out with my friends.

It's gonna be my last night out. Don't you understand?

No. How many last nights you going to have, Michael?

I don't believe this. What do you want?

I'm going to be with you for the rest of my life.

So, we can't be together tonight?

What's the difference... now, later?

We're gonna be together.

That's what I'm saying. What's the big deal?

I don't know. You're the one

that's making the big deal about all this.

No. I'm saying it doesn't matter.

You're saying it doesn't matter.

So I'm saying, go to Benny's,

have a really good time,

and then pick me up afterwards.

That's all, all right?

What happened?

We're going out after.

You did good.

All you got to do is compromise.

(Horn honks)

Hey, buddy!

Hey, Cheech. What are you doing here?

I thought you had things to do.

I do. Hey, Frankie. What's happening?

Talk to him. He's working me like a dog.

Hey, Frankie, watch them bottom cases.

It's gonna fall.

You want to work a couple hours?

No, I don't. I want to know

if you're coming to my bachelor party.

I don't know.

Shit!

Hey, what are you doing there, kid?

No, leave him alone. Forget it.

Hey, stupid, what's the matter with you?

Stupid homo. These kids, they don't know shit.

They're all retarded. How can I go anyplace?

Fucking guys, they don't know shit.

John, they're young.

No, no, no, bullshit. They're not young.

See, we're young, too. All right?

The only difference is that we got fucking brains.

We know how to run this place.

These guys, all they know how to do is come in late.

No, I'm serious.

You know what time this guy comes in this morning?

Hey! (Whistles)

8 fucking 30, right?

They got no head for the business...

unlike you and me.

I'm telling you what...

I'm taking 3 fucking weeks.

When you come back, I'm going to fucking Italy.

- All right? - Good.

And when I come back, you, me, and uncle Benny,

we're going to sit down, we're gonna co-sign a loan,

and we're in business, okay?

I don't know about that.

I'm not too sure about that yet.

What's the matter with you? 10 years, we retire.

- 10 years? - Yeah.

7 days a week? 12 hours a day?

What do you want?

Where you going to be your own boss, huh?

I mean, you know, you're gonna take on a wife.

Yeah, and pretty soon after that, if I know you,

you're going to have babies. Hmm...

I don't think so. Look, you gonna come

to my party tonight, or what?

I can't! With you not here,

I got to open the store, I got to close the store.

Listen, Mikey, do me a favor.

For me, all right?

Go to the party, have a good time,

get it out of your system.

Get married, go on your honeymoon,

and don't fuck me up, huh?

I'm serious. I want you back here in 2 fuckin' weeks.

All right?

Where am I gonna go? I'll be back.

I'll be back. Relax. Take it easy.

All right. I'll see you later.

So long, Frankie.

What the fuck you doing here?

I got it. I'm sorry.

You know, you don't listen to me.

They're all fucking dented.

These are no good.

I got it.

You know?

I'm sorry.

You're an asshole, you know that?

I'm sorry!

You're a fuckin' asshole.

Put all the dented stuff on...

you're not listening to me!

You know, ever since Vinnie got the VCR,

every night he's been bringing home

a different dirty video.

Like the night before last,

he took home that, uh, last tangle in Paris.

Ooh, yeah, I heard about that one.

Yeah. Filthy. You saw the bush.

Ooh, my god.

Yeah, then last night

he brings home this deep throat.

Oh, yeah, I heard about that one, too.

Yeah. I told him not to get any ideas.

I mean, they pee through that thing.

I mean it.

(Laughing) God...

So?

Animals.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

♪ Here comes the bride ♪

2 more days.

Hey, how's everything going with my baby?

You nervous yet?

No... a little.

Yeah, them two were fighting.

Who?

Her and Mikey.

What happened, you and Mikey had a fight?

Yeah.

So?

Oh, it's the tension. Pressure.

Everybody's nervous. Come on,

have a nice piece of cheesecake here.

Your aunt Carmella made it.

It's delicious.

Don't worry, honey.

Once you two are on your honeymoon,

you can relax, have fun. You'll be fine.

Yeah, otherwise you tell him

to take gas.

Hey, I'm serious.

You open the oven door like this,

and you say, "Michael, take gas."

Ohh.

You're sick, Chickie.

Where does she get these things?

Hmm.

Ah, don't worry about it.

I know. I just think, if I had what she has...

You know?

Yeah, well, that's life.

Hmm.

A lot of miles on that.

Look at the tits on that girl.

I had a dream like that last night.

I've seen bigger ones in my lifetime, you know?

You know what I'm talking about?

Now, that's the girl I should've married,

a girl like that.

How the hell you gonna handle a girl like that there?

Those are nice.

Aw, look at those boobs.

You ever seen anything like that, Benny?

Aw, they're gorgeous.

That's from my private collection.

It's just marvelous.

I got thousands of them.

When I was younger, they had broads like that...

All the time.

Get the margarine, quick.

Hey!

Oh!

What's going on here?

Come on. Can't you run this thing?

Mikey, don't worry.

It's the projector. He'll get it back.

Come on!

What do you say we get out of this place?

I want to see this thing before I drop dead.

Ah, this is bullshit.

I gotta go home to find out the state number.

What are you doing, booking the state number?

Nah, just professional curiosity.

Oh, for crying out loud.

I think that maybe Dom and I

are going to head out of here also.

Oh, Mikey, come on.

Benny, Benny, for Christ's sake,

let the kid do what he wants.

It's his night. Listen...

You know your wedding day, 6-25?

I put it in every day for a month.

5 bucks a day.

It comes out, you get 2,500.

Not bad, eh?

Thank you very much, uncle carmine.

Hey, Mikey, here.

Take the keys to the Lincoln, will you?

Have a good time. Oh, and here...

Have a few on me, will you?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Thank you. I love you.

Thanks for the party.

It was great.

All right, have fun.

Take care. Watch him, will you?

Take it easy. Have a lot of fun.

Come on! Get this thing going!

I've been on the same page for an hour

and nothing's sinking in.

My heart bleeds for you, grace, really.

I can't do this.

I'm never gonna get all this information.

I'm gonna fail this test.

You think you could do us a favor?

You think you could take a fucking valium

and calm yourself down, maybe?

Donna.

Donna, you got it.

What? Got what?

(Coughs) The keys, stupid.

The apartment... it's yours.

Aah!

What are you talking about? How did you get them?

The real estate guy?

You know, cookie's brother-in-law's cousin?

You know, that fat guy with the hair?

Well, anyway, I was walking down the Avenue

and I was gonna stop at Johnny's

because I knew you guys

probably finished up the beer that we had,

so I'm walking down Morris park,

and I see this guy, right?

This real estate guy... what's his name? Uh...

- Frank. - Right. Frank, right?

So I see Frank. He's across the street.

Now, he's waving at me

so I could come across the street, right?

So I'm saying to myself,

I don't know this guy. Maybe he's a pervert

or something. So I say, fuck it,

and I keep on walking.

So he runs across the street.

He, like, runs towards me,

and I was gonna turn around and kick him in the balls,

'cause I figure, you know, if he's gonna attack,

I'll get him first.

But then I remember who he is.

And I realize it's this real estate guy,

uh... what's his name?

All: Frank!

So I realize it's Frank, so I don't do nothin'.

So then he says to me,

he says, "aren't you Franny's daughter?”

So I says, "yeah."

So he says, "here, give these to your mother”

to give to Donna." And he gives me these.

All right!

Girls, we're going to my place tonight.

All right!

Whoo!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you talking about?

You asked a stupid question.

You want to know where I was?

I was across the street... before.

That's where I was.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Yeah, that's where I was, across the street.

Then I came here and had 2 drinks.

3, maybe.

I don't know, make it...

forget about it.

What are you, nuts, or what?

I just want to know what Inga is.

Is she your girl

or another one of the chicks

you have on the side, or what?

Inga's not the problem here, okay?

My problem, to be honest, is Louie, all right?

There you go again.

You know if I wanted to see Louie,

all I gotta do is go to Pelham parkway

and walk down the street when he gets out of work

and plant a big one right on his mouth.

He dumped you. That's the point.

He dumped you.

He left 'cause he found out I was seeing you.

No, no, no, no. He dumped you.

You didn't leave. He dumped you.

So how am I supposed to get serious

with a woman that's been dumped?

What's the matter with you guys?

Don't you know what time it is?

Is it 11:30 already?

It's 11 :43.

How's it going?

Ah, a little slow.

All right!

It's the Hucklebuck.

All right!

Atomic passion.

Ooh, angel cake.

Raah!

It's the high exalted mystic ruler.

Damn, Donna,

you're so lucky. I wish I was you.

I'm moving in next week.

I think I should call Michael

and see if he left uncle Benny's yet.

Nah, give him another 15 minutes.

Give him 5.

What do you think, yellow wallpaper?

Sounds good to me.

Yeah, I think so.

My father's going to paint the windowsills.

I give up.

Come on, what do you think... yellow wallpaper?

Yellow is nice.

How about, like, blue and beige

or red, like in the country kitchens

in the magazines?

Oh, yeah, and I'm getting a colonial kitchen service.

Let's not get domestic, please.

You know, JC, when you get married,

you have to start thinking about these things.

Oh, that's bullshit.

It's not bullshit.

Things change. You'll see.

It's true, JC.

You feel like you're more responsible for things.

What?

It changes you.

I don't see Michael going through no changes.

Well, that's because some people take longer.

I'm calling uncle Benny's.

♪ Hey, buddy

♪ sometimes I wish that we were through

Mikey! Mikey!

Mikey! Mikey!

Mikey! Mikey!

Mikey! Mikey!

Mikey! Mikey!

Yaah! Last one! Go, Mikey!

Aah!

Mikey! Mikey!

Yay! Yay!

Aah!

Benny? Yeah, this is Donna.

Can you get Michael to the phone?

♪ I won't go too far

♪ mama thinks that I won't see... ♪

All right.

Thanks.

You change your boyfriends

like I change my underwear.

He ain't there.

What?

He ain't there.

He left Benny's an hour ago.

Goddamn it! You want to bet he's at the bar?

You want to bet?

Bastard. He's not coming, neither.

Call the bar and ask him what his fucking problem is.

No, don't call him. Fuck him.

Fuck him. Fuck him!

I'm not calling him. I'm not calling him.

Donna, just forget about it.

You want to go out somewhere?

Yeah. Yeah, let's go to Side Streets.

You want to go to Side Streets?

Yeah, all right.

we'll go to Side Streets. Fuck him.

First I need a drink.

All right!

And I ain't drinking out of no bottles.

Now we're talkin' here.

It's like the psychology of the situation, okay?

He dumped you, right?

He comes back, I got to figure

you're going to go for him.

Ernie, I bought you your bracelet, didn't 1?

I spend time with you.

Now, why the hell would I go back to him

if I invested my time and money in you?

Because he dumped you.

You see, you get infatuated

with men, Trudy.

You're infatuated with Louie,

and you're probably

infatuated with me right now,

but his dumping you

makes you more infatuated with him.

Yeah. Now, if I dumped you,

you'd probably be more infatuated with me.

You are being very abusive.

I don't want to talk about this no more.

I got to go now.

So you're going to go to see Inga now?

You take a cab home, will you?

I don't want your money.

Piss on your money, you jerk.

Madame, may I ask your hand

for this dance, please?

(Music plays)

♪ Now here's a dance you should know

♪ oh, baby, when the lights shut down low

♪ I said, can your baby dance, whoa

♪ oh, do the Hucklebuck

♪ if you don't know how to do it

♪ man, you're out of luck

♪ oh, push your baby out

♪ and then you hunch your back

♪ got a little movement in your sacroiliac

♪ oh, wiggle like a snake

♪ oh, walk-a like a duck

♪ that's what you do

♪ when you do the Hucklebuck ♪

Raah!

Raah!

Aah!

♪ Here's a dance you should know... ♪

Hey, buddy, what's going on?

Hey, watch my cigarettes, asshole.

Very funny. Get off the fucking bar.

All right, all right.

Jeez, what a dick.

Where the hell you guys been? You're late.

This jerk is leading me all over town.

First he's got to walk his dog,

then he's got to feed his bird,

then we gotta go all the way the fuck to Yonkers

to buy drugs. Then we got to go...

then we gotta go all the way back to his house

so he can take a shit, 'cause he says,

"I can't take a shit nowhere else."

I get the picture.

The guy needs professional help.

We get the picture.

Yeah, so, you know, that's why we're late.

Aah! Oh! No more! No more!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh!

Oh, god.

Ohh!

All right, I am here now.

Let the party begin. Let's go.

Hey, assholes!

All right, what's happening?

What took you guys so long?

- You're wasted. - Wasted?

What are you, toasted already?

I ain't even started yet.

Look, I got to get going.

Aw, Trudy, stay.

Nah.

The night is still young.

I got to go.

Ernie thinks I was going to go straight home.

He calls, you know, to make sure I made it home safe.

He'll worry.

Trudy, Trudy...

Get home safe.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Good night, Trudy.

Take it easy, Trudy.

Bye-bye.

So, Mikey, what are we doing?

Yeah, yeah, what's up tonight?

I haven't really decided yet,

but...

Oh, yeah!

I think it's going to be great.

I'll drive.

You drive?

I'll drive.

Men, follow me.

We going to party.

We going to party.

Let's go. Come on.

(Loud music plays)

Yeah! Do it!

Shake it.

Oh, my god. Look at that guy.

Oh, here we go!

Take it off!

Look at that ass!

Beautiful!

Take it off!

There it is!

Check it out!

Over here!

She's getting married Saturday.

Get up there, bitch.

You suck.

All right, Donna!

All right!

Go, go, go, Donna.

Get back over there.

Get back over there.

Hi, ma.

Donna, where are you?

What's all that noise?

They took me to a club. They got male strippers here.

Ooh! Ha ha ha ha!

You can see everything, ma.

Oh, my god! Ha ha ha ha!

The women here are going nuts.

Is that Donna?

Yeah. They went dancing.

I got to bring you one day. You'll love it.

Listen, ma, did Michael call?

No. I've been on the phone with grandma.

He may have tried then.

Oh.

All right, well...

When he calls, tell him I went out.

Would you like to get cash?

Yes, I think I would.

How much would you like?

20, 30, 50, 80, or more?

All: More!

Yeah, yeah!

All right, all right.

Give me 20 bucks.

No. Fuck you. Go ask Mikey.

Hey, Mikey, give me 20 bucks.

20 bucks?

20 bucks for you?

How about 20, 40, 60 bucks...

Sweetheart.

You got all this money, right?

Now what?

Now what?

Now what, you ask.

Cash plus booze equals...

A.C.!

A.C.!

A.C,AC!

Atlantic City?

Atlantic City?

I can think of a million places

I'd rather go to than Jersey.

Yeah, but you ain't going there.

Don't be a wuss.

Shut the fuck up.

Hey, what about the girls?

The girls?

He don't want to be with no girls.

He's going to marry a girl.

Eeww!

Come on.

Let's do it!

Yeah!

How come nobody's here?

I thought Johnny Dempsey and them would be here.

Boy, this sucks the big one, huh?

We should just go home.

JC, give me another one.

No. I drink them, and I break them.

Don't be a fucking baby.

No!

They're my bottles.

I'm getting married Saturday.

Have one.

You fucking nimrod.

I got to pee.

I don't believe this shit.

Look at this place.

It's dead.

Oh, man, I can't believe this.

Hey, Mikey, wait a second. Look!

Ah, for Christ's sakes.

Come on, motherfuckers! Open up!

Come on, man.

Come out here!

Open the doors, will you?

What are you doing, man?

I got money, man. I'm loaded.

Come on, just let me at the table.

Come on. Hey, come on, watch it!

Shit! Another opportunity fucked up.

You jerk!

Just think, in 2 days I'll be married.

Wow.

You think I should marry him?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Sometimes he does things, like last night,

and I just want to fucking kill him.

And then I see him.

Just ignore him.

That gets them pissed.

So what, JC? I can't live like that.

Well, then call it off.

Call the whole wedding off, then.

I can't.

It's too late.

I can't live here if I don't marry him.

I can go upstate...

And live on my own, but I can't stay here.

It's not gonna fit.

No way is it gonna fit.

It's all this mediterranean stuff

with flowers all over it.

And the motherfuckers are huge.

I told her...

Don't buy anything

until we see where we're going to be living.

Now she tells me

that the bureau can go in the hallway.

I told her it's gonna go out the fucking window.

(Burp)

(Blows raspberry)

♪ Miss Mary mack, mack, mack

♪ all dressed in black, black, black... ♪

Jennifer, please!

I've got a headache from your noise!

(Snoring)

Hi, Michael.

(Telephone rings)

Hello?

Michael?

Yeah, Michael's here.

Jennifer...

So how'd you do last night?

What?

Come on, Michael,

we've got a million things to do.

Look...

I got to go throw up now, okay?

Oh, god. Ohh.

Look at that, ma.

How can he settle down with an attitude like that?

You'll see. After the wedding,

he'll settle down.

Oh, after the wedding.

He'll settle down. He's young.

He just needs some time, that's all.

Oh, he's disgusting.

Ma...

Ma...

Do you have any of that stuff for my stomach?

Josephine, get your fucking beast away from me!

Michael, don't talk like that

to your sister.

Who called? Donna?

Yes.

Ma, do we have any Bromo seltzer?

Mikey.

(Ring)

Whoever it is...

Fuck 'em.

You watch your language.

(Ring)

Yes?

- Hi, Barbara. - Oh, hi, Donna.

- Is he there? - Yes, he's here.

No, no. He's all right.

Michael!

I'm sorry.

It's Donna.

I'll take it in my room.

He's pathetic.

I got it, ma.

Michael, where the fuck were you last night?

I know you didn't come home, so don't fuckin' lie to me.

Listen, I was... I wa...

Michael, I cannot understand a word you're saying.

I'm okay.

Everything is okay.

I don't give a flying fuck how you feel, Michael!

I'd like to know where were you!

What are you breaking my fucking balls for?!

Oh, god. Listen...

I got to go throw up now.

I'm coming over after work.

(Click)

(Dial tone)

(Groaning)

(Ring)

(Vomiting)

Hello?

I'm really sorry about this,

but I've really had it with him.

Yeah. I see.

Make sure he gets the list I left.

Okay, I'll tell him.

No, he'll get the message.

- Okay, I got to go. - So long.

Michael! Don't forget the list Donna left.

Okay.

You better get going. There's a lot to do.

Okay, ma. Okay.

Can you hear me?

Okay!

- Michael! - (Whispering) Shut up.

Open this door right now!

You've got things to do.

Michael, open this door!

(Pounding on door)

Everything in green are the things

that we gotta we get done today, okay?

All right, no, wait, wait. No.

Green is for the things Michael should have done,

but he didn't do them, so we're gonna have to do them.

And blue is for the things that we got to do today anyway.

And red is for the things that got to be done tomorrow.

All right, Donna's getting Michael's tux.

That's a green.

I'm going to go to the travel agent

and check on the reservations for the honeymoon...

that's a green.

And the photographer's a green... I got that.

Okay. All right, you're going to go

to the florist

and make sure that they got the order right

and that they get it to Donna's by 1:00, okay?

- Hello? - What?

1:00.

The florist. I heard you.

You're gonna pick up your shoes to get dyed.

Uh, yeah.

All right.

You forgot one thing, though.

What?

A big bottle of Jack Daniel's.

It's the only way

you're gonna get Michael into that church tomorrow.

That's a nice way to suffocate someone.

Maybe you should have something to wear

if you decided to show up tomorrow.

I'm sure you didn't do all the shit

you were supposed to do today.

You know,

you and your buddies are a fucking waste.

Grace and JC are out there running around

doing all the shit you were supposed to do today.

You still didn't get us a ride to the airport on Sunday.

We don't have a ride to the airport.

You didn't give the ushers their gifts.

You didn't pay the priest at the rehearsal.

He called my mother.

You know how fucking embarrassing that is?

Huh?

Fucking listen to me!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You fucking asshole.

I can't believe you did this to my fuckin' TV!

I don't give a shit, Michael!

Listen, I don't need some fucking bitch

to come in my room and break my shit, okay?

You don't hit me! You don't fucking hit me!

What are you gonna do, you gonna hit me?

You gonna hit me? Go ahead!

You want to fucking hit me?

Come on, damn it! Come on. Come on!

Okay, stop!

Fucking hit me, motherfucker!

♪ Thrill me

♪ thrill me

♪ walk me down the Lane where shadows will be

♪ will be

♪ will be

♪ hiding lovers

♪ just the same as we'll be

♪ we'll be

♪ when you make me tell you I love you

♪ ooh

♪ they told me

♪ be sensible with your new love

♪ don't be fooled...

♪ Da da da da da da ♪

Ooh!

Jesus, you scared me.

Ooh!

♪ They never...

♪ Da da da da

♪ doo doo doo doo doo ♪

You're in a romantic mood.

Mmm, yeah.

Yeah, I am.

They used to play this

when me and your father was goin' out.

♪ And when you do

♪ I'll know that you will miss me

♪ miss me... ♪

Ahh.

Did you eat?

I saved you some chicken.

I'm not hungry.

Come on, you got to eat.

It's your nerves.

I don't want you fainting tomorrow

when you walk down the aisle.

Me and Michael had a fight.

Honey, come on.

Don't worry about it. It's all right.

It happens to everybody.

Oh, my god. You should have seen the fights

me and your father had before we got married.

We went to say the vows

and he wasn't even talking to me.

You're going to look so nice in this.

Yeah? You think so?

I was showing it to Carmella.

I was trying on the shoes.

They match. It looks really nice.

I hope they don't hurt my feet tomorrow.

That reminds me.

I got a surprise for you.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Come on.

It's in my bedroom.

Come on.

Ma, you're such a nut.

Come on. Sit down.

Close your eyes.

Close them. Keep them closed.

- No peeking. - Okay.

Oh, shit. I wanted to wrap it up.

Ma, come on, you always do this to me.

All right.

All right, look.

Oh, ma. That is really pretty.

I can't believe you did this.

Come on. Try it on.

Ma, it's very sexy, though.

I thought so.

Mom.

Mom, where'd you get such a thing?

- Did daddy see it? - No.

Watch my new bedspread.

Oh, ma!

Look.

Beautiful.

You look beautiful.

Ma.

Here. Try on the robe.

It's a set. You're supposed to wear them together.

No, I think I like it better this way.

You know what?

I think Mikey is gonna like better this way.

Hey, hey, hey! Don't get fresh.

You know,

we never talked about that.

No, we didn't.

Mm-mmm.

Is there something you wanted to tell me?

Well, I don't know.

Um...

Was there something you wanted to ask me?

You know everything already, don't you?

Ma...

I'm going to go put on some music.

♪ Ooh

♪ ooh ooh

♪ ooh ooh ooh... ♪

Hey, Dom. You hear about Crazy Ray?

No.

What's going on with him?

He came in here the other night,

you know, smiling and everything,

bought beers for everybody,

paid up his tab.

What'd he do, hit the number?

You didn't notice?

He bought himself a new suit

and one of those sausage dogs.

Yeah. He comes by the deli every day now,

wearing that suit and walking that dog.

Can you believe that?

Christ. He used to be the biggest tight ass.

The frickin' guy used to buy Bologna

by the frickin' slice.

So what happened?

So anyway, if you didn't notice,

he's been acting a lot more social like,

saying hello on the street and everything.

So last week, he's in the deli,

and he starts to talk to me. Right?

He starts talking, and he tells me

that his old lady died 3 weeks ago.

You're kidding?

No! And the fucking eerie thing about it

is that he didn't tell nobody till last week,

not even his landlord.

No one missed the lady. That's pretty fucking weird.

He was a miserable son of a bitch, too.

Now look at him.

You know...

I would bet you that that happens

a lot more than we think, you know?

You know, some guy goes and marries some wacko,

then he becomes a wacko,

then his whole life becomes a living hell...

Mikey.

What are you thinking, huh?

Huh?

You comparing this to you and Donna?

You're nuts, buddy.

You never been in this situation, Dom.

With a wedding and all?

Suddenly...

Suddenly everything...

Becomes very, very complicated.

You know, it's like, she'll talk to me...

And she tells me stuff,

and she says it's important,

and I don't even know

what the fuck she's talking about.

It really makes you feel like you're losing control.

Mikey, you ain't losing control over nothing.

You're getting married.

A person's got to adjust to certain things.

What if I can't adjust?

When you're in love with somebody, you adjust.

Dom, I just don't want to end up hating my life.

You're not going to end up hating anything.

So forget about it, all right?

Now, I'd appreciate it if you'd get off the rag

and give me a hand with the rest of these.

Thank you.

You shouldn't be seeing Mikey tonight.

The bride and groom ain't supposed to see each other

the night before the wedding.

After midnight I'm not supposed to see him.

That's what grace said.

Ma, I got to ask you a question.

Uh-oh. I don't like the way you said that.

How come you and daddy eloped when you got married?

I was pregnant.

You son of a gun.

(Loud music playing)

JC was going to be sister Josie...

So we're going and all of a sudden

we hear some noise in the back.

It's Brian. He's getting sick, right,

all over the place.

So Kevin holds him out the window.

Now he's getting the shit on the back of the car.

Donna.

The guy on Radcliff died yesterday.

We move in next week.

I hope he doesn't haunt me.

You ever think about getting married?

Ah...

Gee, I don't know.

I guess.

One day.

No, I mean now.

Now? To who?

To me.

Ohh... ha ha!

You asking me to marry you?

You're so cute.

That's funny.

God.

What the hell's so funny?

Oh. I'm sorry.

I just didn't realize that you were serious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Brian, I realize what you're trying to do,

and I really appreciate it,

but that's...

hey, what do you think, this is a favor or something?

- Well, yeah. - Well, it isn't.

I mean, part of it is.

I could help you out and all, you know, but...

I really want to be with you, too.

Be with me, Brian?

You ready for a wife and a 12-year-old kid, too?

Because wherever I go, my sister goes.

Well, that's not a problem.

That is not... that is not a problem.

Great. But I'm not ready to get married yet.

See, I have to do this by myself, Brian.

I don't think that you seem to understand that.

Fine.

That's great.

Do it yourself, then.

Fuck you, too.

He wants to spend the money.

I got 60, I'll turn it into 300 bucks.

So we're bringing the car right up on the boardwalk

and we're cruising the casinos.

By then we pull up to the Tropicana.

Donna, it's 11 :50.

We gotta get out of here by 12:00.

So we fly out of the car, right?

Donna, come on.

There's two guys in the back...

I think they got guns. He's freakin' out...

Michael.

So we start pulling him off. He's going nuts.

Yeah, but then after I broke away from him.

You didn't break away.

I would have... hey, check this. What is this?

Hey, Mikey, you better enjoy it while you can,

'cause it ain't as good when it's legit.

Well, anyway, we go back, right?

3 blondes get out of the car...

This is a switch.

Usually I had to drag you up here.

What the fuck?

Let's do a blood wedding.

A what?

You know, blood brothers?

- Yeah. - This is the same thing.

The girls used to do it with boys,

except for I swore I'd never do it

except with the guy I really marry.

Could you give me your hand?

- Oh, shit! - Sorry.

I think you hit my bone.

Donna, come on.

I'm trying to save your marriage.

Radio: Folks, it's 2:22 AM.

You're tuned in to rocking Rob Scott

at WZZT,

where we'll be rocking you all night long.

It's hot, hot, hot out there tonight

this June 25th.

Later on today, it'll be sunny

with high in the low 90s.

There's a chance of showers tonight,

and we're expecting some rain Sunday.

Hey, how you...

♪ be careful when you're talking... ♪

(Hard rock music plays)

(Static)

(Soft rock music plays)

♪ Ooh, short and sweet... ♪

(Telephone rings)

Hello?

♪ Let's don't keep it hanging on... ♪

Hello?

Who is this?

Who is this?

Maria?

Phyllis?

♪ Oh, some people are made for each other

♪ some people can love one another for life

♪ how about us

♪ some people can hold it together

♪ last through all kinds of weather

♪ can we

♪ can't we, babe

♪ oh, I wanna know

♪ ooh

♪ now, don't you get me wrong

♪ what you sayin' to me, baby

♪ 'cause I'm not tryin' now to end it all

♪ let's start something new

♪ baby, it's just that I have seen

♪ what have you seen?

♪ Too many lovers' hearts

♪ lose their dream

♪ but we won't lose it

♪ some people are made for each other

♪ some people can love one another for life

♪ how about us

♪ some people can hold it together

♪ last through all kind of weather

♪ can we?

♪ How about us

♪ can we, babe?

♪ How about us?

♪ Can't we, babe?

♪ How about us?

♪ Ooh

♪ how about us?

♪ Yeah

♪ baby, are we

♪ are we gonna make it, girl?

♪ I hope we can

♪ are we gonna drift and drift

♪ and drift and drift

♪ and drift together

♪ some people were made for each other

♪ some people can love one another for life

♪ how about us

♪ tell me what you want, babe

♪ some people can hold it together

♪ last through all kind of weather... ♪

I can't believe

I got to sleep here by myself.

I never have.

You've been whining for 20 minutes now.

You think you could shut the fuck up?

- Shut up. Shut up! - You're driving me nuts.

I got to sleep here by myself.

God!

What is this, a soap opera here?

I don't see your sister getting married.

- She ain't leaving you. - Oh, man.

I look like an asshole.

You look great. You look great.

It's like a major, major chaos out there.

I hate you, Donna!

Okay. Are you okay?

I'm going to be sick!

Is she going to be okay?

I don't know.

She's getting on my fucking nerves, though.

Radio: 66, WFAF sports news.

Darryl strawberry today is basking in the afterglow

of last night's...

You'd better hurry up and get ready.

You got to be in the church in 20 minutes.

Where are those friends of yours?

They'll be here.

(Indian call)

Hey!

Hey, who's getting married around here?

What took you guys so long?

Can't you guys be on time for once?

Yeah, well,

I go over to his house, and he says...

it's okay. It's okay.

Hey, hey, hey. What's the rush, anyway?

Jesus, Mikey, man, some guys can't wait

for you to walk the plank.

Well, Fran, I wish you could've got Donna

to use that Elvis impersonator,

the one that Diane Bellafotto used at her reception.

He was fantastic.

It would help if you take the cover off.

Yeah, yeah. I get to see people moving,

and I pick up their voices.

Right?

I make my own movies,

just like real life.

(Speaking Italian)

Mother, pin.

(Speaking Italian)

That pin does not go with that dress.

I'm sorry.

Take the pin off.

Fran, she's wearing the Jesus pin again.

You know, the Super 8's nice,

but with the video, I make my movies...

And bing...

I can watch it right on my own TV.

Franny, I hope you didn't put Dibby and Scabby

at the same table.

Yeah, I think I did. Why?

Oh, my god. They're not talking.

Don't you remember what happened with the provolone?

I saw them at their mother's at easter.

Of course they were at their mother's at easter,

but they don't talk.

You better take care of it.

I capture everything.

What a wedding this is going to be.

So, where's Dom, huh?

I don't know.

Ah, that's a switch, huh?

The best man is running out on the wedding.

Kevin, what the hell is that?

That's my breakfast.

Will you please get dressed?

You don't want to be late

for your own wedding, do you?

Oh, Donna, this veil is beautiful.

Now, be careful when you're walking.

I can just see you tripping.

Okay.

Angelo, come on!

- Do I look pretty? - You look beautiful.

You do.

Yeah?

You look beautiful, too.

Thanks.

Are you going to make me cry today?

- No. - All right.

Oh, beautiful!

This is the picture I wanted.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

Get this junk off the bed.

Come on, let's go. We're going to be late.

Okay, can you make believe you're putting the veil on?

Nice big smile.

- Hey! - Hey, hi, Mikey.

- Hi! - How's it going?

- Great. - Good.

You look nice. Well, thank you.

How you feeling, buddy?

Come on. Move it!

I got to check my mug out.

It's not going to help.

Hand me the aftershave.

I think mine's wearing out.

Here you go. You stink.

You, too, Brian.

You look pretty.

Fuck you.

So do you, Dom. You look pretty.

Donna,

if you're not sure about this whole thing,

this marriage...

I'm sure.

I know you are, but...

If you weren't,

you could change your mind

- and call this... - I know.

I know, dad.

Thank... thank you, daddy.

He's a good kid.

Yeah.

No, I mean it.

I always liked Michael.

He's different from the others.

It's just that he's a little wild.

But that'll change.

Yep.

I---

okay, here we are.

Hey, you guys must be celebrities, huh?

Look at this crowd you got out here.

Good luck.

She's gorgeous!

Donna, you look beautiful!

Gimme back the camera. I wanna take a picture.

Since it is your intention to enter into marriage,

join your right hands

and declare your consent before god and his church.

Michael, repeat after me.

I, Michael Anthony...

I, Michael Anthony...

Take you, Donna Louise...

Take you, Donna Louise...

- To be my wife. - To be my wife.

I promise to be true to you...

I promise to be true to you...

In good times and in bad...

In good times and in bad...

In sickness and in health...

In sickness and in health...

I will love you...

I will love you...

- And honor you... - And honor you...

All the days of my life.

Now you, Donna.

I, Donna Louise...

I, Donna Louise...

Take you, Michael Anthony...

To be my husband.

I promise to be true to you...

In good times and in bad...

In good times and in bad...

In sickness and in health.

In sickness and in health.

I will love you...

I will love you...

And honor you...

And honor you...

All the days of my life.

All the days of my life.

What god has joined together,

let no man put asunder.

(Applause)

♪ Yahoo

♪ it's a celebration

♪ yahoo ♪

All right, everybody, let's celebrate.

♪ Celebrate good times

♪ come on

♪ well, there's a party going on right here

♪ a celebration to last throughout the years

♪ so bring your good times

♪ and your laughter, too

♪ we gonna celebrate your party with you

♪ it's time to come together

♪ it's up to you

♪ what's your pleasure

♪ everyone around the world

♪ come on

♪ yahoo... ♪

Oh, yeah! Do it, man.

Do it. Yeah!

Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo!

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I have your attention, please?

Michael and his lovely new bride

will now dance to the song they've chosen

as their song

for this, their wedding day.

All right!

Come on out, kids!

More, more!

More!

♪ Ooh ♪

Look at that guy. He's cute.

& Ohh, so sweet

♪ no sense in draggin' on past our needs

♪ let's don't keep it hangin'on... ♪

It's like a fairy tale.

It looks pretty fucking eerie to me.

Michael.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

There they are, ladies and gentlemen...

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Bastone.

(Applause)

Aren't they beautiful?

Hey, Mikey, boy!

I'm married.

♪ Some people can hold it together ♪

Now let's have our wedding party join in.

♪ Last through all kind of weather

♪ can we

♪ ooh ♪

They look nice, huh?

They look happy.

Yeah.

There you go. That's it.

- It's easy. - Yeah! Just relax.

- I am relaxed. - Okay.

Come on, we gotta dance.

♪ To give it all... ♪

I can't believe how cute he is.

So what do you have that face on for?

You don't like him?

He's my cousin, ma. That's incest.

You dope. He's not a blood relation.

He's your third, fourth, fifth cousin.

Ma, why didn't you tell me?

Hello, Yvonne.

You don't listen to me when I talk to you.

You want to dance?

What, so you're not talking to me?

No.

What? You hate me now, right?

♪ How 'bout us

♪ how 'bout us, baby

♪ how 'bout us

♪ how 'bout us, oh, girl ♪

You wise ass.

♪ How 'bout us, baby ♪

You can't dance either.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my god.

I didn't recognize you without your camera.

May I have this dance?

♪ Some people can hold it together

♪ last through all kind of weather

♪ how 'bout us? ♪

(Tarantella plays)

All right. I want to see everybody's hands

clapping on this one.

This one's for all the Irish people here tonight.

Questa sera tutti italiano.

Everyone's Italian tonight.

If you know the words, just join right in.

(Singing in Italian)

(Whistling)

Hey!

I want to hear everybody

sing that "hey" really loud.

It's very important.

(Singing in Italian)

A toast. A toast.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

To the men.

To real men.

This thing didn't turn out so bad tonight, did it?

No.

You guys having a good time?

- Hell, yeah! - Good.

Mikey, know that speech I had to make before?

I don't know if it came out right,

but I really meant it. I mean that.

I wish you two the best.

If you ever need me for anything...

Dom, Dom, Dom...

You guys in love?

You going to get married now?

Hey, watch it.

I went for it.

What time is it?

About 11 :30, I guess. Why?

How about when this thing is over,

we go to the bar

and we have a few drinks on me?

Mikey, I don't think tonight.

No, Mikey. When you get back.

No. This thing's almost finished now.

I don't got to be anywhere until tomorrow.

Hey, guys, you see, I don't think

we should let our honored guest down here.

What about Donna?

No, that's okay. I'll tell her. It's okay.

I don't know, Mikey.

What? Tell me what.

Come here.

The guys want to know

if when this thing is over,

we'll go out for some drinks.

You're not serious.

Yeah. I'm not gonna stay out all night.

- Just for a few hours. - Michael, it's...

Donna, they asked me.

It's our fucking wedding night.

Okay. I'll go for a couple hours, then.

2 hours.

Michael...

All right. One hour.

I'll go out for one hour.

One hour, okay?

I'm not going to beg for this, Donna.

Uh-oh, guys. I think she's pissed.

No problem. Don't worry about it.

(Sobbing)

There's no room!

Well, make room!

Donna, what happened?

What happened?

Donna, please.

We can't help you if you don't tell us.

No one's going to help me.

Donna...

Just tell us what happened, please?

He wants to go out with his friends tonight!

The cock sucking son of a bitch.

Maybe he's scared, you know?

Maybe he's got to get used to the idea.

Some guys are like that... they're weird.

He had 2 years, JC.

We didn't get engaged last week.

He had 2 fucking years!

Quit sticking up for him.

He's acting like a fucking shithead.

Stop it! She's not sticking up for him.

Can I tell him he can't do this?

I mean, we're married, right?

Can I say that to him?

I think you can.

I think you should.

I do.

(Door opens)

It's Michael.

I hope you're fucking happy now.

Come on. Go.

So what do you want from my life, huh?

Oh, that was nice.

That's real nice, huh? That's a nice thing.

Nice fucking way to start off a marriage, huh, Donna?

Come on, open up.

(Hits door)

Open up, Donna.

We can't talk like this, Donna.

Would you open the...

(sobbing)

This bathroom's for girls, auntie.

Come on. It's the same thing.

I'm telling you, it's the same thing.

See? This boy's here, too.

Come on.

I'm waiting for my wife.

(Toilet flushes)

Let's go. Hurry up.

Donna, open up.

Open up, all right?

Look, this is very embarrassing to me.

This whole thing, all right?

Open up so we can talk and we can get out of here.

Go fuck yourself.

I can't talk like this, Donna.

I can't talk...

I can't fucking talk like this!

You know, I had the right idea tonight, Donna.

I had the right idea.

I wanted to go out and be with my friends...

my very good friends...

my real friends!

I had the right idea.

Goddamn you, Michael!

It's our wedding night!

You can't go out with your friends

on our wedding night!

You stupid...

Michael...

Mikey...

(Singing in Italian)

Michael, this isn't going to work.

Don't say that.

It's not what I want.

Donna, what do you mean?

Donna...

Please.

It's not normal, you know.

Donna...

I don't want to live like this.

Don't say that, Donna.

Please.

Please.

We should probably go back inside.

Michael...

When that lady came in before,

you called me your wife.

(Applause)

Yeah, I did.

It sounded weird.

Yes, it did.

Let's go.

- Mikey, Mikey, smile! - Come here, darling,

let me fix your veil.

Come on, show us your pearly whites!

You all right, baby?

You sure?

Excuse me, Mr. Difalco. You are in the way there.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Angelo, move.

Okay, beautiful.

You got the bridge in the background,

you got the water.

Just wait till you see this picture.

You're going to love it.

Donna, honey, fix your veil.

It got flattened out.

- Smile for the picture. - Chickie, it's fine.

Donna, you look great.

I'm going to get this shot first.

Donna, you got eye snot.

Want me to wipe you off?

Mikey! Where's his jacket?

Get him his jacket!

Put it on over your shoulder, man

- you'll look plastered. - Put it over your head.

You look better like that.

Ha ha ha!

Donna, Michael, could you move closer?

Smile for the picture.

Okay... perfect.

And now, think about tonight,

and smile.

Oh, man, you guys fucked up!

Oh... we got to do it again.

Donna! Michael!

(Speaking Italian)

Many children!

Boys! Boys!

No girls! Please!

Ah, too many girls!

Uh, Donna and Michael,

congratulations,

and god bless the both of you.

My beautiful niece and her husband.

Happiness.

(Speaking Italian)

I wish you the best of luck.

And, Michael and Donna, I hope, Donna,

that Michael worships you

as much as Vinnie worships me.

You deserve it.

Donna, Michael, you're beautiful.

You got a beautiful wedding.

Listen, Michael, I'm proud of you.

I think you got a winner this time.

Hey, kid.

Michael and Donna, I'm proud of you.

Good luck in the future.

I wish you love, luck,

and a lot of happiness.

Have a nice honeymoon.

And a kiss to my bratty brother.

Give him a kiss.

Ah, she's pretty.

Ciao.

Michael, Donna, best of luck.

Don't forget the payments.

A lot of people

would like to be in your shoes.

It's the most beautiful wedding

I ever saw.

(Speaking Italian)

Wishing you much luck and happiness,

Michael and Donna.

Hope you're as hap-happy as I am.

Have a good life together.

Love you.

Oh, my god, would you get out of here?

He's always like this.

Go away.

Mikey, don't do it. It's a mistake!

Shut up!

It's a mistake. Go back.

Mikey...

Ange, you getting this?

I know this guy since kindergarten.

I can't believe you're doing this.

You're getting this, right? Good luck.

That's disgusting.

(Giggles)

(Singing in Italian)