Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1423}{1510}[Olaf Andersen] Uh, ladies and|gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, please. {1512}{1558}Your attention. {1560}{1589}I think you all know our guests|of honor today. {1615}{1668}Our great congressman,|Jeff Johnson, {1670}{1736}and Vera Johnson,|his lovely and gracious wife. {1738}{1835}Many of you know that Jeff|is now completely recovered|from a triple bypass operation. {1837}{1890}Doesn't he look great? {1935}{1982}I never felt better. {1984}{2069}Before I turn the floor|over to the congressman,|I'd like to thank my old friends, {2070}{2145}Mr. And Mrs. Zeke Bridges, for the use|of their wonderful, lovely home. {2171}{2218}[Andersen]|Thank you, Zeke. {2219}{2273}Now, sirs,|ladies and gentlemen, {2274}{2349}- In the 20 years of the great...|- Som-bitch! {2398}{2470}Uh... well, seems like|a host's work is never done. {2472}{2530}- [Laughing]|- Now, in the 20 years... {2532}{2637}that the Honorable|Jefferson Davis Johnson has been|our representative in Congress... {2638}{2705}Excuse me. Pardon me.|What do you say, Pete? {2707}{2754}- [Andersen]|Whatever our walk of life:|- Excuse me. {2755}{2798}- Utilities, pharmaceuticals...|- Pardon me. Hi, Malcolm. {2800}{2874}One bourbon sour straight up|with extra orange, {2876}{2921}and one gibson, no onion, {2922}{2975}and two white wine spritzers|and a Lowenbrau. {2977}{3048}[Jamaican Accent]|Allow me to light your cigarette|for you. Hold this for me, sir. {3049}{3125}The way your hair matches your eyes,|I don't know how I can control myself. {3127}{3172}Excuse me,|I'll get those drinks. {3174}{3273}I can't believe that you're Inga.|You don't look Swedish. {3275}{3326}You're so different|from your picture. {3328}{3382}[Swedish Accent]|That wasn't me on the TV, {3384}{3469}but that sure was me|on the telephone. {3470}{3524}[Normal Voice]|You want me to prove it, Zeke? {3526}{3647}You told me that you want me|to tie you up and beat you with... {3649}{3739}My God, Inga,|that was on the phone. {3741}{3829}I never thought you'd be in my house.|You've got to get outta here. {3830}{3925}[Swedish Accent]|But you told me you wanted me!|You told me to quit my job. {3926}{3989}[Normal Voice]|And now, honey, here I am. {3990}{4100}- Not now, waiter. Please!|- Don't worry about a thing.|I'll handle this. You! {4102}{4193}Bag on the floor,|hands in the air. Do it! {4194}{4266}Sergeant Brown, vice squad,|undercover operations. {4267}{4348}- I know who you are, dirty pig!|- Shut up! You're under arrest. {4349}{4449}- My God, what's goin' on here?|- Sir, you've been the target of|a ruthless gang of con artists. {4451}{4546}It all started when you called|the "Girls of Many Nations" party line. {4547}{4594}It's 1-900-phone-sex? {4595}{4657}You put it on your credit card|instead of your phone bill... {4658}{4721}'cause you didn't want your wife|to see it, right? Big mistake. {4722}{4805}The gang used your|credit card number to find out|everything they could about you. {4806}{4881}It's the gang's M.O. to wait until|the victim's having a big party... {4883}{4947}and will do anything, pay big money,|to avoid embarrassment. {4949}{5013}Embarrassment?|Som-bitch! {5015}{5079}This goes|beyond embarrassment! {5081}{5169}A hundred of my very best friends|paid a thousand dollars apiece... {5171}{5216}to have a drink|with Congressman Johnson. {5218}{5317}Not to mention the fact my wife|is probably looking for me right now. {5319}{5377}That is exactly what|their evil scheme is depending on. {5378}{5437}In fact, any second now,|a huge Latino man's... {5438}{5521}- Gonna burst in pretending|he's an outraged husband.|- Inga! {5523}{5565}- What're you doin' with my wife?|- Senor... {5566}{5637}- [Bridges] It's okay, Alice.|- My friend, rum and coke. {5639}{5686}Don't let anyone else in, please.|Thanks. {5688}{5738}- [Armando] Did he touch you?|- I got your rum and coke. {5740}{5804}There's your rum and coke,|and she can drink it with you! {5806}{5863}- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct]|- Hey, i callate la boca. {5865}{5933}I callate la boca ahora!|I ahora asi! {6046}{6117}Now you see how they were gonna plan|to con you outta your money. {6118}{6183}But I know better, 'cause I know|you're a courageous citizen. {6185}{6242}- And I know you're gonna testify.|Yes, you're gonna testify.|- Oh! {6244}{6312}- I can't testify.|- Sure you can. All you've|done was phone sex. {6314}{6378}- A lot of people have done that.|- He wanted me to tie him up... {6380}{6438}and spank him with|a wet garter belt. {6440}{6504}- [Chuckling] No, no, not me. No, no.|- [Thomas] Excuse me. {6506}{6576}That is between the fantasy hostess and|the freak. I don't even wanna hear it. {6578}{6617}- "Freak"?|- Hey, poppy. {6618}{6704}I got a tape in the car. Eight-track|or cassette. You wanna hear it? {6706}{6766}- No, no! No, no! Thank you very much.|- Sir, please. {6768}{6866}They're trying to intimidate you|by telling you that they have an|audio tape of you freaking on... {6868}{6928}Did you think you were gonna intimidate|him? You're not intimidating him. {6930}{7012}He's going to testify, because|his family may not know he's a freak, {7014}{7073}but he's been married 20, 30 years.|His wife knows he's a freak. {7074}{7180}"Freak"? Uh, Sergeant Brown, I have|to talk to you in private, please. {7182}{7260}Mr. Bridges, I can't leave|the suspects by themselves. {7262}{7331}Well, let's, uh, lock 'em|in the crapper. {7370}{7418}Okay, come on.|Move in the bathroom. {7420}{7478}- Come on, man, move it. Come on!|- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct] {7479}{7538}Hey, hey! Vamonos,|muchachos, goddamn it! {7540}{7649}Now you've all met my|legislative assistant, Kimberly. {7650}{7712}Kimberly and my fine staff,|along with myself, {7714}{7796}will be available to you|24 hours a day. {7798}{7868}I'm proud to be|your man in Washington. {7870}{7949}I plan to keep goin' back|as long as you keep sendin' me. {7951}{7992}[Cheering] {7994}{8040}Please listen, Sergeant. {8042}{8128}- I'm the chairman of a large,|conservative insurance company.|- I know that. {8130}{8212}I know your chief, Sergeant Brown.|Help me and you'll be Lieutenant Brown. {8214}{8271}Just get these people|the hell outta here quietly. {8273}{8337}Mr. Bridges, I know|these people. Okay? {8339}{8395}If you let them go,|they're just gonna blackmail you. {8397}{8445}I don't care.|What do they want? {8446}{8541}- Goin' by their other victims,|it costs like $5,000.|- Okay. {8589}{8635}That's 5,000 each, you know. {8637}{8676}Okay. {8725}{8793}You know there's|four people in the gang. {8795}{8861}- Twenty thousand dollars?|- See, that's what I'm tellin' you. {8862}{8920}- I think you should testify.|- No, I can't. {8921}{8997}- Please put your money away, sir.|- Look, it's... {8999}{9113}It's just that I don't have that|much cash. I've only got $12,000. {9115}{9181}- And there's four people in the gang.|- Wait a minute. {9183}{9269}- My rolex.|- Oh, Mr. Bridges, no.|No, no, no. Please, sir. {9270}{9317}No, it's worth $10,000. {9318}{9399}Oh, Mr. Bridges, I don't wanna take your|watch, I don't wanna take your money. {9401}{9458}- Besides, they don't want a watch.|They want cash.|- Take the damn money! {9459}{9561}Take the watch, please!|Get them outta here and get that tape. {9763}{9814}You know this goes against|my every principle. {9816}{9863}Darlin',|don't you look wonderful. {9865}{9950}Glad to see ya. Nice to...|Hey, how's that knee, huh? {9952}{10029}- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct]|- Hey, hey, hey, hey!|[Spanish, Indistinct] {10031}{10076}Inga will miss you!|Bye-bye. {10078}{10154}What are you doin'?|I gotta go get the tape. {10156}{10235}I don't want you to give them the money|until I get the tape in my hand. {10237}{10304}Come with me. {10342}{10392}Chief! {10394}{10474}By golly,|am I glad to see you. {10476}{10529}I'm sorry I'm late.|I had an emergency. {10530}{10582}You know Sergeant... {10584}{10649}[Bridges]|Where'd he go? {10650}{10717}Sergeant Brown, the vice squad. {10719}{10768}We don't have a vice squad. {10817}{10901}You don't have a...|Som-bitch! {10903}{10957}Oh, waiter,|where's my bourbon sour? {10959}{11013}Oh, you must think I'm Kareem.|I'm Jamal. {11014}{11066}He stiff you on your|drinks too? He fired. {11068}{11186}Kareem! Wait right there.|Kareem, where's this woman's drink?|This woman's thirsty! {11187}{11305}- [Man] I've always enjoyed|the time we've spent together.|- [Woman] Oh, thank you. {11306}{11373}[Man] Why don't we|sit down over here? {11446}{11489}[Guests Laughing] {11534}{11630}Olaf, I'm thinking|of retiring from Congress. {11632}{11711}You can't retire. You just promised|all these people you're gonna run again. {11713}{11794}That was a political promise.|You know better than to believe that. {11795}{11857}[Andersen]|Zeke, come here. Listen to this. {11859}{11906}Have you all seen a waiter|come through here? {11907}{11961}No, I haven't, but, Zeke,|I need your help. Hey! {11962}{12034}- What's got into Zeke?|- Damned if I know. {12035}{12145}Listen, Jeff, you know you got|the best job in the world, don't you? {12146}{12201}You get to go hunting, fishing,|skiing and golfing. {12202}{12270}The best resorts. Then you get|to call it, "official business," huh? {12272}{12360}And, Jeff, you know there's|no aphrodisiac like power. {12362}{12446}Are you tired of having|the most beautiful and intelligent|women in this country? {12448}{12509}Ah, the joy's gone out|of Congress, Olaf. {12511}{12558}No, that perks thing|was the last straw. {12559}{12620}And who needs the aggravation?|Life's too short. {12622}{12670}Yeah, well, look, Jeff.|You can't retire. {12671}{12759}If I retire this year,|I get to keep $1.3 million... {12761}{12812}that's left in my campaign fund. {12813}{12860}It's called|"the grandfather loophole." {12862}{12973}All right, Jeff.|I got it. Come here. {12974}{13069}There's this small software company|that's about to go through the roof. {13070}{13155}Now, what you do, you buy a few thousand|dollars worth of stock options. {13157}{13267}It's gonna bring in a half a million|dollars easy. That's just for openers. {13269}{13326}Huh? {13352}{13457}If you put it like that,|I suppose I... {13458}{13538}have a duty to continue|my career in public service. {13540}{13622}"Duty"! [Chuckles]|You're something else, Jeff. {13654}{13724}I am definitely|in the wrong business. {14086}{14162}- Som-bitch!|- Well? {14233}{14278}- Som-bitch!|- Yes! {14280}{14356}- [Laughing Together]|- [Swedish Accent] I love it! {14398}{14458}[Grunting, Groaning] {14460}{14549}- [Woman Sighing]|- [Johnson] Ohh! Oh, Kimberly! {14551}{14598}[Kimberly]|Oh, Congressman! {14600}{14669}[Johnson] Oh, Kimberly,|you're so good! Yeah! {14670}{14725}Oh! Oh God! Oh, Oh!|Oh, I got a cramp! {14726}{14789}I got a cramp. It's okay,|don't stop. Don't stop! {14791}{14867}Oh! Yeah, yeah!|Oh, God, yes, yes! {14869}{14919}- Kimberly! Yeah!|- Oh, Congressman! {14921}{15016}- Oh, now, now! Yeah! Oh! Oh, my God!|- Oh, Congressman! {15018}{15087}Oh, my God!|Oh, my... [Gagging] {15089}{15172}[Kimberly Panting] {15174}{15230}[Panting] {15270}{15318}Oh, my God! {15348}{15394}## [Funeral Organ] {15396}{15457}[Dick Dodge]|It was my honor... {15459}{15546}to serve with Jeff Johnson|in Congress for a generation. {15548}{15637}No one was a better legislator,|a better husband. {15638}{15755}We're gonna miss him. But we are|grateful that his passing was peaceful. {15757}{15837}The consummate public servant, {15838}{15935}working late into the night|at his desk. {16022}{16073}- Thank you.|- [Dodge] Vera? {16074}{16141}- Let me talk to you|for a minute in here.|- Excuse me. {16142}{16197}Uh, now... {16198}{16309}I know that, uh, you're still|in shock over Jeff's passing, {16311}{16412}- But we need to talk about his seat.|- We do? {16413}{16496}I would like for you to announce|that you're gonna run for Congress. {16498}{16544}With your name, you can't lose. {16546}{16659}Mrs. Jeff Johnson|would win in a walk. {16661}{16733}Dick, I've been|a Washington wife for 20 years. {16734}{16791}I think that's enough bullshit|for one lifetime. {16793}{16872}I'd help. I'd be running|the office night and day. {16874}{16933}I'm sure you would, dear.|But I couldn't give you... {16935}{17001}the same kind of job satisfaction|Jeff gave you. {17107}{17156}Uh-huh. {17194}{17262}How did I end up with a thief|for a grandson? {17264}{17311}Hey! Aha!|Hey, thieves steal. {17313}{17369}I con, all right?|It's different. I'm an artist. {17370}{17422}I'm a con artist. {17424}{17504}- Hey, look! There's the new ad.|- Hey. {17506}{17600}[Loretta As Inga] I am Inga.|I am here from Sweden. {17601}{17648}And I'm so lonely. {17650}{17732}I need a man,|and so do my girlfriends. {17734}{17826}Maria, my hot-blooded|Spanish friend. {17828}{17892}- Babette, zee Parisian pussycat...|- [Meows] {17894}{17994}- And many others.|- I hope you sprain your lips|from doin' this. {17996}{18079}- I hope your lip muscles freeze up.|- We take all major credit cards. {18081}{18153}[Loretta As Inga] So call|the Girls of Many Nations at... {18248}{18325}[Swedish Accent] What do you think|of my accent, Grandma? {18326}{18401}- Very, very good. Hey, hey.|- [Telephone Ringing] {18467}{18539}Thank you for calling "Girls|of Many Nations" party line. {18541}{18656}For hot-blooded|Italian wildcats, press one now. {18686}{18808}For perky American cheerleaders,|press two now. {18810}{18931}For a busty Swedish love goddess,|press three now. {18933}{19003}- [Single Tone]|- Another customer for Inga. {19005}{19053}Don't you dare|talk to that man! {19111}{19175}[Swedish Accent]|Hello, this is Inga. {19177}{19250}Oh, hello, Paul.|How are you? {19252}{19351}Oh! [Giggles] Tell me,|Paul, do you have Mastercard? {19353}{19424}If you don't hang up that phone,|I will flush it down the toilet! {19426}{19481}Uh, no, Paul.|Call me later, please. {19483}{19530}What's the matter with you?|This is my business. {19532}{19593}You are not only a con man,|you get your cousin Loretta... {19595}{19651}- To help you by talkin' dirty?|Shame on you!|- Granny! {19653}{19737}You mad 'cause you can't show my picture|around the pool no more, Grandma? {19738}{19763}Of course not. {19789}{19860}Look what these arthritic hands|have been doin'. {19862}{19913}- Oh...|- Don't "oh." What are you "oh-ing"? {19914}{19971}Thomas Jefferson Johnson.|Why you keep usin' my middle name? {19973}{20032}It sound like a tap dancer|or somethin'. {20034}{20128}Make me proud of you, Thomas.|Make me proud of the name you carry. {20130}{20239}I'm Ned Grable, Vice President|and General Manager of WFL. {20241}{20313}We think Mrs. Jeff Johnson|did the right thing... {20315}{20422}in not running for the congressional|seat left vacant by her husband's death. {20424}{20491}Jeff Johnson's name|may still be magic, {20493}{20574}but it'll take more than|the magic of name recognition... {20575}{20629}to solve our region's problems. {20630}{20678}I'm Ned Grable. {20706}{20753}Name recognition. {20755}{20804}Lordy, what a notion. {20806}{20856}People would have to be|some kind of boobs... {20858}{20958}just to vote for somebody|because their name was Johnson. {20960}{21063}I remember once back in Georgia.|They even elected a dead man. {21065}{21136}His name was still|on the ballot and... {21137}{21206}folks were just|used to voting for him. {21504}{21551}[Loretta]|Okay. Bye-bye. {21642}{21715}My friends, I wanna|tell y'all about a town... {21717}{21771}where the streets|are paved with gold. {21773}{21884}I'm talkin' about a town|where the marks will take you|to dinner after you fuck 'em. {21886}{21980}I'm talkin' about a place that,|when they run outta money,|they just print some more. {21982}{22065}In this town, a cat bounced 900 checks,|didn't even have to go to jail. {22066}{22126}- You mean "Las Begas."|- No, not "Las Begas." {22128}{22197}No, honey, he's talkin'|about Washington, D.C. {22198}{22259}l... You all ready for this? {22261}{22319}I am running for Congress. {22365}{22427}- What is this, a joke?|- What's the con, T? {22429}{22475}Yeah, I don't get it, man. {22477}{22541}- Yo, man, Van Dyke.|- Yeah. {22542}{22606}- You remember Willie Sutton?|- My hero. {22608}{22685}What did Willie Sutton say when they|asked him how come he robbed banks? {22687}{22758}- That's where the money is.|- Exactly. {22760}{22827}Washington, D.C.|That's where the money is. {22829}{22897}Listen, I have been doin' some research.|I've been to the library. {22898}{22974}- [Laughing]|- Why you laughing? Congressmen,|when they get elected, {22976}{23060}they get $130,000 a year.|That's their base salary. {23062}{23156}But then they have these things|called "PACs." Okay, political|action committees, right? {23157}{23243}Then there's these lobbyists.|The lobbyists' whole point in life|is to buy you off. {23245}{23296}They buy you off|and it's totally legal. {23298}{23382}It's the con of a lifetime,|and I know we can do this shit. {23384}{23429}Who "we," white man? {23430}{23500}Us! We! Us! If I get elected,|I gotta have a staff. {23501}{23573}I'm gonna get a staff allowance.|It says here that new Congress... {23575}{23660}- You get a staff allowance of $537,000.|- [Armando] Ooh! {23662}{23708}- Damn!|- Senor! {23710}{23799}I get that kinda cash, I'm splitting it|up with my homies and my homette. {23801}{23862}How exactly are you gonna|get your butt to Congress? {23864}{23926}Yeah, T. Why the hell|would anybody vote for you? {23928}{24010}It's not like they're voting for me.|They're voting for name recognition. {24012}{24058}The congressman here|was Jeff Johnson. {24060}{24111}My middle name is Jefferson,|last name is Johnson. {24113}{24166}Cut off the Thomas,|shorten the Jefferson, {24168}{24236}Jeff John... nobody knows that|their congressman is dead. {24238}{24306}Who knows that Jeff is dead?|He's a congressman. Who cares? {24308}{24409}If I get on the ballot as Jeff Johnson,|nobody's gonna know. {24410}{24461}Well, how you gonna|get on the ballot? {24499}{24553}That's where you all|come into play. {24554}{24617}My friends, I need, uh,|[Chuckling]... {24618}{24704}I need, uh,|5,625 signatures. {24706}{24778}- [Laughing]|- I knew this "we" shit had a catch. {24780}{24844}Hey, man, you all|got a better plan? {24846}{24893}I do. {24942}{25014}Who are these "Silver Foxes"?|Old people who just like to vote? {25016}{25103}It's a political party.|The big thing is, they got|their own line on the ballot. {25105}{25152}They already got the signatures. {25153}{25203}- May I help you?|- Uh, good afternoon. {25205}{25299}- We have an appointment|to see Hattie Rifkin.|- Right. {25301}{25381}You wanna talk politics?|Talk. {25382}{25495}Uh, we was wonderin', who you gonna|run for Congress this year? {25497}{25558}Ah, the usual sacrificial lamb. {25560}{25648}Probably Sylvia Roland.|She just lost her husband. {25650}{25731}She needs to meet new people.|Why? {25733}{25801}Miss Rifkin. I'd like to run|on the Silver Foxes' ticket. {25802}{25870}I believe and care|about you and your issues. {25872}{25935}That's what my son says,|but does he call? {25937}{26007}What makes you think|a group of alter kakers... {26009}{26075}is gonna support a man who hasn't|clipped his first nose hair yet? {26077}{26135}Because I can win. {26137}{26221}No, no. A Republican can win.|A Democrat can win. {26223}{26298}A Silver Fox can only make|a symbolic point. {26300}{26383}Mrs. Rifkin, if you get me on|the Silver Foxes' ballot line, {26385}{26440}- And if you give me the support...|- Lf, if. {26441}{26509}And di bubbeh volt gehat baitzim,|volt zi geven a zeyde. {26510}{26587}But got haste oykh|cane naar nit zine. {26589}{26679}- [Chuckling]|- Uh, what's all this? {26681}{26769}Oh, she just said that if my grandmother|had balls, she'd be my grandfather. {26771}{26836}And I told her that God|never told nobody to be stupid. {26838}{26895}Where the hell did you learn|to speak Yiddish? {26897}{27008}[Yiddish Accent]|I learned it from Morris Elfbein,|da gin king of Miami Beach. {27010}{27059}He taught me that|and he also taught me... {27061}{27143}you don't always have to have|the best cards to win the hand. {27145}{27247}Maybe not in gin, but in politics,|young man, you need money to win. {27249}{27303}You need a name to win.|You need... {27305}{27366}- I do have a name.|- What, you're an athlete? {27425}{27529}- You're not on MTV, are you?|- My name is Johnson. {27530}{27599}Jeff Johnson.|The name you know. {27625}{27673}Jeff Johnson? {27741}{27844}Well, that's a name even our|Alzheimer's group will remember. {27845}{27933}I'm not quite sure I understand,|Professor Franklin. {27935}{28018}You did your doctoral thesis|on my husband? {28020}{28081}Yes, Mrs. Johnson.|Your husband was a very great man. {28083}{28134}He did so much to help my people. {28136}{28218}I remember the time he said|that welfare is a drug... {28219}{28277}and you have to kick it|like cold turkey. {28278}{28364}And at the time, I was on welfare|and I did just that. {28366}{28431}It inspired me to get on with|my life. Very inspirational. {28433}{28485}Yes, well, really,|I'm sure if he were alive... {28486}{28548}I was actually in the audience one day|when he looked out and he said, {28550}{28653}"If you people'd just get off|your dead asses and go look for work, {28655}{28711}maybe America can be a decent place|to live in again." {28713}{28790}That inspired me.|My God, it made me move my ass. {28792}{28840}And I have a poster|of that on my wall, {28842}{28923}and I show it to all my relatives|and friends and Negroes. {28925}{29042}Really, well. It's kind of you to come|all the way from... Where was it? {29044}{29111}The Wilson Pickett State, uh,|Teachers' College, ma'am. {29113}{29195}But I didn't just come here to pay|my respects to your husband. {29197}{29269}I came here because, because|your husband deserves an archive... {29271}{29331}where students|can study his legacy. {29333}{29418}- So you want his papers.|- Not just his papers, ma'am. {29420}{29515}I would like all buttons|and posters and bumper stickers... {29517}{29583}and all the campaign paraphernalia|you can spare, ma'am. {29585}{29656}I know you may have|a sentimental attachment to|a lot of these things and you... {29658}{29733}- Take 'em.|- Pardon me? {29735}{29801}Take 'em all. Do you want|the wedding photos too? {29838}{29899}- Oh, I don't know|if I think that's necessary.|- That's lucky. {29901}{29959}So you won't have to go|rooting around in the garbage. {29961}{30019}- Oh. Hmm.|- Hmm. {30090}{30142}You're in pretty good shape|for a professor. {30179}{30224}Do you work out? {30262}{30313}Uh, why, yes. Do you? {30314}{30382}Why, yes. {30384}{30432}Hmm. {30646}{30734}[Van Dyke]|Are you sure you don't wanna come|to Washington with us, Homer? {30736}{30789}No, I got a business to run. {30963}{30988}- Bye-bye.|- [Telephone Ringing] {30989}{31072}Hello. Who? {31115}{31232}League of Women Voters. No,|Mr. Johnson will not attend the debate. {31234}{31320}No, I'm sorry, Betty. I cannot|tie up this line. Thank you. {31349}{31428}- [Ringing]|- Hello? {31430}{31547}Star-Ledger. No, we're fresh out|of photographs of Mr. Johnson. {31549}{31621}No, you can't. He's just had surgery|for a deviated septum. {31647}{31696}Yeah, thank you. {31698}{31746}- [Ringing]|- Hello? {31780}{31855}[Swedish Accent]|Ja, this is Inga. {31857}{31912}[Thomas Using "White" Accent]|Cast your vote for Jeff Johnson. {31913}{31978}Good old Jeff,|the name that you can trust. {31980}{32092}The name that you know.|Jeff Johnson. {32094}{32159}[Chinese Accent] Why you no vote|Jeff Johnson? He the name you know. {32161}{32236}Go down vote for Jeff.|Jeff Johnson, the name you know. {32238}{32320}[Homeboy Accent] Hey, you, eatin'|the greens, and you on the corn bread. {32322}{32393}Put that down and cast your vote|for Jeff Johnson, the name you know. {32395}{32488}You know it's good. Jeff is good,|just like them greens. Jeff and greens. {32490}{32546}When you think greens,|think Jeff Johnson. {32548}{32640}[Yiddish Accent] In this meshugeneh|world, you wanna vote for Jeff Johnson. {32642}{32751}I don't know why I gotta drive|through here and tell you this.|You should know who to vote for. {32753}{32827}Put a vote in for Jeff|because he's a good person. {32829}{32889}What, are you crazy? {32891}{32962}["White" Accent] We're not gonna|show you Jeff Johnson waving a flag, {32964}{33019}and we're not gonna show you|Jeff Johnson kissing babies. {33021}{33121}We're not gonna show you|Jeff Johnson doing anything|because you already know... {33123}{33170}what Jeff Johnson can do. {33171}{33278}Tomorrow, vote Jeff Johnson,|the name you know. {33280}{33329}- That sound white enough?|- That was very white. {33331}{33415}Yeah. That's chilling, actually.|Almost scared myself. {33417}{33455}Fantastic. {33457}{33541}Tomorrow, vote Jeff Johnson,|the name you know. {33853}{33900}Who do we vote for|for Congress? {33902}{33982}- Don't we always vote for Johnson?|- Ah, that's it, Johnson. {34037}{34120}If you're just joining us,|our exit polls project that in Florida, {34122}{34232}an unknown independent candidate,|whose sole asset appears to be his name, {34234}{34294}may just possibly win|a slim victory. {34296}{34398}[Cheering, Whistling] {34400}{34508}## [Calypso Version Of|"Happy Days Are Here Again"] {34510}{34557}Is that him? Is that him? {34559}{34676}Uh, Patricia, I believe|that Congressman-Elect Johnson|has just arrived. {34721}{34786}[Armando]|Excuse me, please. Coming through. {34788}{34865}[Homer]|We need to get through, please. {34867}{34946}- Come on. Come on.|- Coming through. Thank you. {34948}{34997}[Man]|Congratulations! {34999}{35060}[Cheering] {35062}{35108}[Thomas]|Wait a minute. Wait a minute! {35109}{35179}Hey! [Whistling]|Hey, thank you! {35181}{35295}Thank you so much!|People, {35297}{35416}we ran a positive campaign. {35418}{35490}We campaigned on the issue. {35492}{35578}The issue is change. {35580}{35663}Change for the future. {35665}{35712}The people have spoken! {35877}{35950}Ask not what your country|can do for you. {35992}{36098}You have nothing to fear|but fear itself. {36099}{36203}If you can't stand the heat,|get out of the kitchen. {36237}{36295}Live free or die. {36297}{36388}And in conclusion,|read my lips. {36390}{36441}[Cheering] {36699}{36748}Mira, mira, mira. {36876}{36928}The promised land. {36972}{37047}[P.A. Announcer]|Continental flight 228 to Chicago... {37049}{37150}Congressman Johnson.|Congressman Johnson, Arthur Reinhardt. {37152}{37207}You don't remember me. {37209}{37280}- I was Congressman Johnson's|administrative assistant.|- Yes. {37281}{37334}I Fed Ex'ed all that material|to you down in Florida. {37336}{37384}Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.|Well, you know. {37386}{37430}You look just like|I thought you would look. {37432}{37486}You see his little|wing-tip shoes on? {37488}{37534}Oh, l... Thank you. {37536}{37596}Congressman, I hope you don't think|I'm outta line for meeting you here. {37597}{37673}I just thought you might need help with|logistics, settling in at your hotel. {37675}{37757}Since you didn't make it to the Harvard|seminar for freshmen congressmen, {37758}{37828}I took the liberty of putting together|a set of their papers for you. {37830}{37924}Thank you for your initiative,|but I gotta admit to you, I've|never been much of a student. {37925}{37994}But you can brief|my staff on that, you know. {38044}{38095}Uh, staff, what hotel|are we staying at? {38097}{38156}- You book the hotel?|- No. Talk to him. {38158}{38208}- You book the hotel?|- What hotel? {38210}{38286}Nobody told me|about no damn hotel. {38288}{38348}Uh, is, uh, staff... {38350}{38455}obviously failed to nail|some vital details, so... {38457}{38528}Oh, geez,|the world bank's in town. {38530}{38579}Where we gonna find you a room? {38605}{38652}Hey, I kick your ass. {38702}{38774}You have to be firm|with the staff sometimes. {38776}{38881}[P.A. Announcer] Continental|flight 228 to Chicago O'Hare is now... {38882}{38935}I got lucky at the Hay-Adams. {38937}{39010}- There was a coup in Uruguay.|- Que? {39012}{39091}- What?|- Uruguay. {39093}{39140}Anyway, their delegation|just checked out. {39142}{39211}You're a wizard, Reinhardt, and I knew|we could count on you. Let's go. {39213}{39259}- Hey, you got that?|- Yes, sir. {39261}{39308}[Loretta]|Careful with that bag. {39310}{39362}Don't throw it in there like that.|I paid too much for that bag. {39364}{39407}- Say, Congressman?|- Yo. {39409}{39473}I'd like to ask you something. {39474}{39583}I would appreciate it if you|would consider me to be your A.A. {39585}{39677}Oh, that's very nice of you.|That's a very decent gesture. {39678}{39745}But yo, man, listen.|I'm a social drinker. {39747}{39827}I don't really hit|the bottle very much. {39829}{39887}Yeah, yeah. No, no. Uh, {39889}{39939}administrative assistant. {39941}{40020}- Oh!|- As you know, I used to work|for Congressman Johnson. {40021}{40114}And I would like to work for you,|Congressman Johnson. {40157}{40247}So it would be sorta like an affirmative|action sorta thing. [Chuckles] {40249}{40312}Only kidding. I got your resume.|I'll call you, okay? {40313}{40396}- I'll look forward to hearing from you?|- Look forward to talking to you. {40868}{40917}[Giddy Chuckle] {41010}{41085}Ooh, baby! {41302}{41361}[Secretary]|Congressman Corman's office. {41562}{41643}Yes, sir. Yes, sir. {41645}{41697}[Chuckling] {41731}{41779}[Elevator Bell Rings] {41838}{41921}- Members only.|- Oh, we're going up to|Congressman Johnson's office. {41922}{41989}I hate to be the one to tell you,|but Congressman Johnson died. {42042}{42128}I'm the new congressman. I'm Congressman|Johnson and this is my staff. {42130}{42197}I'm sorry, Congressman.|I didn't see your pin. {42198}{42287}In fact, I still|don't see your pin. {42289}{42359}- What pin?|- Your member-of-Congress pin. {42411}{42525}- I'm gonna have to look you up.|- I'm in the book under Johnson.|Thomas Johnson. {42526}{42589}- Congressman.|- [Giggling] {42591}{42649}Thomas Jefferson Johnson. {42651}{42735}- Yeah, I'm the man.|- No picture available. {42737}{42855}Oh, wait a second. I have my driver's|license with me. Got a picture in late. {42857}{42913}Here it...|If I can get it out. {42945}{43019}- Driver's license.|- Oh. {43051}{43132}See? Same cat. {43134}{43221}How could I ever have doubted you?|Where to? {43222}{43268}We're going up to 518. {43269}{43348}Well, the elevator|only goes to four. You'll have|to take the stairs from there. {43437}{43520}Are you gonna be grabbin' my ass|like old Congressman Johnson? {43521}{43582}Oh, no. I would|never grab your ass. {43584}{43666}Well, you said that awful fast.|What's wrong with my ass? {43668}{43716}Oh, there's nothing|wrong with your ass. {43718}{43791}I'm just, you know, I'm just, what,|I'm, I'm the new congressman, {43793}{43855}and I won't be doin' none|of those things he did. {43857}{43942}I ain't gonna grab nobody's old ass.|I mean, I ain't gonna grab nobody's ass. {43944}{44009}You know? Hey, I think we|on the fourth floor. {44011}{44075}I'll grab it. {44113}{44167}[Elevator Bell Ringing] {44195}{44269}Stairs are to the right.|Enjoy. {44345}{44391}Later, baby. {45350}{45398}Wait here a second. {45573}{45641}Good morning, Congressman. {45642}{45728}What is this shit-hole?|Look at this place. What is this? {45730}{45845}Oh, um... you missed|the freshman lottery for offices. {45847}{45897}They assign them by draw. {45899}{46001}You didn't show for the draw,|so you got the worst office in Congress. {46002}{46045}What lottery?|I missed a lottery? {46046}{46127}It was all in those briefing books|I mailed you. {46197}{46256}What else have we missed here? {46258}{46324}Are you hiring me, Congressman? {46355}{46413}- It's a shakedown.|- Excuse me? {46414}{46510}Oh, ho-ho-ho! You're shaking|me down, aren't you? {46512}{46560}Okay, I'm gonna love this town. {46562}{46643}Okay, I've been here five minutes|and you're already shaking me down. {46645}{46691}All right, you're hired. {46693}{46780}Listen, fill me in on everything|'cause I don't wanna miss the good shit. {46781}{46900}## [Classical] {47038}{47101}[Indistinct Chatter] {47150}{47237}- Let's go meet the natives.|- Yeah. {47238}{47323}[Thomas] Can you be|a little more elegant than that? {47325}{47373}Shakin' your ass and shit. {47461}{47523}Hey, how ya doin'?|Thomas Johnson. {47525}{47601}Rafe Simon, freshman from Tulsa.|And this is... {47603}{47685}- Bo Chandler from, uh...|- Lufkin, Texas. {47686}{47748}Great party. {47750}{47829}You're Jeff Johnson,|the guy from Florida. {47830}{47872}Yeah, that's me. {47874}{47954}You know, the rest of us were|out there on the campaign trail, {47956}{48073}raising money, kissing ass,|making speeches, dragging|our butts from place to place. {48074}{48125}And he slides in|on pure name recognition. {48166}{48242}Let me tell you something, Jeff. {48244}{48290}Fuckin' brilliant! {48341}{48436}I thought I was gonna have to kick|somebody's... Okay. Hey, no, I'm sorry. {48437}{48488}Thanks a lot.|And don't call me Jeff. {48490}{48569}Jeff is my working name.|My name is Thomas, and this|is my cousin, Miss Loretta. {48571}{48685}How do you do? How do you do?|[Laughing] {48686}{48736}What were you guys before you|got elected? Lawyers or something? {48738}{48832}Oh, hey, no. I did morning weather|and traffic for KTOK in Tulsa. {48834}{48892}- Oh. [Laughing]|- [Chandler] You don't remember me? {48894}{48965}Tight end for the Oilers?|My knee gimped out on me? {48966}{49067}Oh, yes! Oh, hey, man.|I was wonderin' what happened to you. {49069}{49127}- Why don't you stop by my reception?|- Yeah, but don't go... {49129}{49172}to his reception before|you go to my reception. {49174}{49233}I'm gonna be offended|if you don't come by my reception. {49234}{49281}- Okay.|- [Thomas] Okay. {49283}{49340}I guess you're gonna|have to have a reception. {49342}{49388}Yes, I guess we'll have|to have something. {49390}{49457}Shit, I don't know nothin'|about no reception. {49458}{49532}You know what I love about this town?|The way everybody call you a member. {49533}{49605}Every time I hear that,|it make me think about Mister Happy. {49607}{49666}- [Laughing]|- Hey, hey! {49667}{49757}Watch them sprinklets, man! He's|laughin' and piss shootin' everyplace. {49758}{49821}I got a sprinkler too now.|Back at ya! {49823}{49859}- Ow!|- All right, then. {49894}{49958}- Mike Hoyt, lowa.|- Thomas Johnson, Florida. {49960}{50055}So how'd you wind up in D.C., lowa?|You do the crop report|on TV or somethin'? {50057}{50112}No, actually, I owe it all|to the Vietnamese. {50113}{50161}Oh, you're a war hero. {50163}{50222}P.O.W. When I got back|to Cedar Rapids, {50223}{50309}I spent so many years telling the Rotary|Club what was wrong in Washington... {50310}{50377}they finally told me to either|put up or shut up. Ha! {50379}{50427}So I put up, and here I am. {50429}{50509}What are you talkin' about?|What's wrong with Washington?|Washington's great! {50511}{50588}Oh, come on. We got acid rain|killing fish and nobody's stopping it. {50590}{50649}There's topsoil being washed away.|No erosion programs. {50650}{50721}- Why, there's chemicals|in the livestock that...|- We might have some luck. {50722}{50796}My God, I sound like a boy scout.|[Laughing] {50797}{50896}No, actually, that's nice. This town|could use a few geeks like you. {50959}{51026}- Hi.|- Pete Slocum, Asbestos|Information Institute. {51028}{51074}How are ya, Pete?|Nice to meet ya. {51076}{51125}Ken Korngold, National|Distilled Spirits Association. {51127}{51177}- Very good to meet you, Ken.|- Nice to meet you. {51179}{51253}- Paul Zeckhauser, American|Tobacco Council. [Coughing]|- How are you, Paul? {51254}{51340}I hope you can all come to my reception.|You know Miss Loretta from my office. {51341}{51391}- Hi. Hello.|- Terry Corrigan. {51393}{51511}Soon as I saw how you got elected,|I knew you were a real comer. {51513}{51575}Hell, I bet Olaf Andersen|voted for you. {51577}{51622}I don't know.|Who's Olaf Andersen? {51623}{51691}Won't tell him you asked.|Fella on the left up there. {51693}{51737}Chairman, Gulf Coast Power. {51738}{51801}Constituent of yours,|client of mine. {51803}{51853}Pays the rent,|know what I mean? {51855}{51929}Say, could I host a "welcome|to Washington" fund-raiser for you, {51931}{51980}down at my law firm|on K Street? {51982}{52069}- Absolutely.|- At $500 a head, {52071}{52154}you could pick up 20, 25 grand|to help you get started. {52156}{52204}[Nervous Laugh] {52206}{52256}And how much of that|are you gonna get? {52258}{52307}It doesn't come off the top. {52309}{52420}Down the road,|I'll bill each of them 500 an hour|whenever I take you to lunch. {52490}{52557}You know, Terry, you and I|are gonna be so close. {52619}{52687}I wanna welcome|the new members to Washington. {52807}{52873}We haven't had a freshman class|this big in a long time. {52874}{52933}[Laughing] {52934}{53028}Well, Congress needs your new blood, and|you in turn are gonna need new friends. {53030}{53137}That's why, tonight, we unite|the two great pillars of our system. {53138}{53188}Political and financial. {53190}{53273}Now, you know, Congress|has taken many hits of late. {53275}{53320}But, Congressmen,|look around you. {53321}{53440}The people you see here tonight|are the ones that have stood behind us. {53442}{53540}And they are the ones that will be|invaluable to you in your next campaign, {53542}{53612}which I might remind you|is less than two years away. {53613}{53729}Now this is our system of checks|and balances at its very finest. {53731}{53828}Dick Dodge, from your home state.|Gonna run for speaker. {53829}{53893}Raises more money|than any other member. {53894}{53953}But, of course,|he's on the right committee, {53954}{54028}- Which makes all the difference.|- Yeah, of course. {54029}{54096}But I'm not telling you anything|you don't already know. {54098}{54214}No, he's on the right committee, so|I guess that makes all the difference. {54216}{54333}Not just on the committee.|He's chairman of it. {54335}{54418}The big boys have to line up|to take numbers... {54420}{54468}to throw money his way. {54470}{54565}- Your friends can always call on you.|- No shit. {54566}{54617}[Woman]|Thank you very much. {54619}{54677}[Dodge]|Oh, uh, Mr. Johnson? {54678}{54727}You know, it's customary|for the new members... {54729}{54835}to pay a visit on us old fogies|in the leadership, especially|from your home state. {54837}{54912}Well, I would have, but I|just got in town. I'm sorry, man. {54913}{54976}You know, you can make up for it|by having a nightcap with me. {54977}{55067}- Oh, absolutely.|- Can I have my car take you home? {55188}{55236}Uh, excuse me, Mr. Chairman, {55238}{55320}but you ain't about to start no homo|shit, are you? 'Cause I ain't with it. {55321}{55377}- Oh?|- Hey. {55379}{55485}No! But that's good thinking, Thomas.|I'm impressed by your instincts. {55486}{55541}I didn't wanna|have to whup your ass. {55543}{55595}- [Laughing]|- You know what I mean? {55936}{56031}Tell me, Mr. Johnson,|why'd you come to Washington? {56073}{56161}Well, of course, it's an opportunity|to do something for my country, and... {56162}{56219}Now let's just cut the bullshit. {56221}{56267}I saw how you got elected. {56269}{56340}Now flukes like you are either|nut cases or troublemakers. {56341}{56424}I just wanna know which one|I've got on my hands. {56426}{56472}Why did you run for Congress? {56520}{56580}- No bullshit?|- No bullshit. {56581}{56633}We got this whole|topsoil problem... {56635}{56709}and, uh, acid rain|is killing cattle. {56711}{56787}- [Pounding At Door]|- What? Yes? What? What? {56789}{56879}- What?|- [Thomas] Einhardt! Wake up! {56881}{56997}[Pounding Continues] {57054}{57121}What is the name of that committee|Dick Dodge is chairman of? {57122}{57180}- Congressman, this is a surprise.|- Come on, man, spit it out. {57182}{57245}- What's the name of the committee?|- Uh... Uh... {57246}{57296}Come on, come on, come on.|What is it? {57298}{57391}Uh... oh.|Power and Industry. {57393}{57439}- Is something wrong with the hotel?|- No. {57441}{57493}Tell me about this Power and Industry.|I heard it's really good. {57494}{57565}- This is a good thing, right?|- Yes, they call it "the honey pot." {57567}{57682}Each member is constantly being lobbied|by every cash-rich trade group in town. {57684}{57755}Oh, it's 2:40 a.m.|Did you realize that? {57757}{57822}Ah, man, forget that!|We're public servants. {57824}{57876}Time ain't supposed to mean|nothin' to us, right? {57878}{57965}- How do I get on this committee?|- Um, that would be seniority. {57966}{58040}Uh, after six terms in office, {58042}{58095}uh, say, 12 years of service, {58097}{58180}your name moves along the list|and before you know it, {58182}{58261}you're off the Fisheries committee|and on to Power and Industry. {58262}{58360}- Can this wait? I'm much|more coherent in the morning.|- No, you're doin' fine. {58361}{58453}But I need to know how I can get|on this committee, like, immediately. {58454}{58527}Okay, okay.|All right, all right. {58529}{58576}Uh, immediately. Immediately. {58578}{58658}- Within, say, your next four years?|- No, no, no, no. {58659}{58717}Immediately,|like in my first four days. {58939}{58997}Now you're a smart guy.|That's why I hired you. {58999}{59072}You might be standin' here|in these fire engine boxer shorts, {59073}{59143}but I have faith in you.|I'm countin' on you. {59145}{59187}- Talk to me, Reinhardt.|- Yes, thank you. {59189}{59236}I don't think|it's possible, sir. {59237}{59310}It would be unprecedented|for a freshman congressman... {59312}{59360}to be put onto that committee. {59361}{59407}Unless... {59409}{59489}Well, only in the most remote, {59491}{59557}hypo...|hypothetical situation. {59559}{59615}Yes? {59617}{59666}- This is ridiculous, right?|- For instance? {59668}{59761}Well, if the, uh, President|of the United States... {59762}{59822}were to do you a personal favor. {59823}{59908}Or, uh, some enormously powerful|special interest group. {59910}{59964}Chairman Dodge, please. {59966}{60080}Will you tell him that it's Mr. Joshua|Benjamin from the NAACP on the line? {60169}{60231}No, ma'am, actually, you'll|be of a great deal of help. {60233}{60298}I have a few minor questions.|I would like to know... {60300}{60412}how many members of the chairman's|committee are African-Americans. {60414}{60528}None. Well, I'm sure you have|a Latino member on the committee. {60530}{60581}No Latinos either. {60582}{60701}Does the chairman have any Asians or|any Native Americans on the committee? {60702}{60761}No Asians and no natives. {60762}{60864}Does the chairman have any handicaps|or gays on the committee? {60866}{60955}No gays. Well, you've been|of a great deal of help. {60957}{61069}Just forget I even called.|Just tell him I said hi. {61071}{61167}Okay, um, Armando, Van Dyke,|you guys are up next. {61169}{61231}I'll go hit 'em with|the Urban League right away. {61233}{61357}Fine. And I'll be the conference of|Southern Baptist Bishops. [Chuckling] {61359}{61404}What do you want me to do? {61473}{61545}Oh, hi. We haven't met yet. {61546}{61608}I'm Loretta Hicks.|Congressman Johnson's office? {61610}{61697}Oh, hi. I'm Kimberly Meadows.|I work for Chairman Dodge. {61699}{61782}Power and Industry.|How'd you get that job? {61784}{61835}I used to serve under|the other Congressman Johnson, {61837}{61913}so I had the right experience. {61915}{62000}Well, I hope you haven't|been bothered by the pickets. {62002}{62061}What pickets? {62062}{62135}Oh. Did, did I let|the cat out of the bag? {62137}{62217}- Are we gonna be picketed?|- Look, you've got to promise... {62218}{62265}not to say where|you heard this from. {62266}{62322}- Not even my congressman knows.|- I promise. {62324}{62435}Okay. My boyfriend works|at the Rainbow Coalition, {62437}{62469}and he said... {62471}{62552}[Telephone Ringing] {62554}{62608}[Telephone Ringing] {62609}{62707}Congressman Johnson's office.|Chairman Dodge? {62755}{62825}Yes. Okay. {62870}{62921}That was Dodge.|He wants to see you pronto. {62950}{63000}So we still haven't|lost our touch. {63064}{63119}Asi. {63121}{63189}He should be back in a moment,|Congressman Johnson. {63191}{63237}[Thomas]|Oh! They're here now. {63239}{63286}- We haven't met. Eli Hawkins.|- How ya doin'? {63287}{63350}Brother Eli. Yeah. All right. {63352}{63442}- All right. Thomas Johnson.|- Yes, I know. The Florida upset. {63444}{63508}Now that you're here,|what are you gonna do with it? {63510}{63601}You gonna feather your own nest, or are|you gonna make something of your office? {63602}{63705}Hey, I'm gonna be as good a congressmen|as anybody else up here, all right? {63706}{63754}Exactly what does that mean? {63843}{63910}Well, uh, ever since|I got back from, from 'Nam... {63912}{63981}I personally wanna do something|about the rain forests. {63982}{64065}Well, do me a favor. Don't tell me.|I've just had my lunch. {64067}{64162}Eli, you're gonna|have to excuse us. Thomas and I|are late for a meeting. Come on in. {64164}{64210}What's his problem? {64309}{64408}Uh, Mr. Chairman, I have been meaning|to ask your advice about something. {64410}{64478}I'm always available|to a young man from my state. {64480}{64533}Great. It's about|committee assignments. {64535}{64640}Now that's interesting. That's just|the thing I had in mind. Go ahead. {64641}{64707}For the last two days,|I have been getting approached... {64709}{64766}by a bunch of chairmen|from different committees. {64768}{64817}I've been approached by the people|from Foreign Affairs. {64819}{64898}I've been approached by the people|from Ways and Means and Armed Services. {64900}{64953}They all want me on their committees|and I don't know why. {64954}{65037}- I'll be damned!|- You can understand my dilemma,|'cause it's like, {65038}{65118}with Foreign Affairs, you get to|fly off to Paris whenever you want. {65120}{65190}With Armed Services,|they got bases all over the globe. {65192}{65266}Son, are you familiar with|my committee? Power and Industry? {65268}{65369}Oh, yeah. But, uh, it's not as well|known as these other committees. {65370}{65463}Well, maybe not, but you've|been very frank with me. {65465}{65534}I'm gonna be|extremely frank with you. {65536}{65616}These other committees,|they're nickel-and-dime stuff. {65617}{65680}Power and Industry,|think of what we cover. {65682}{65789}Energy, transportation,|insurance, the environment. {65791}{65857}Hell, son, there's no better|committee on the Hill. {65858}{65929}That is, if you're interested|in fund-raising. {65930}{66024}I am, very much. It's just that these|other chairmen made pretty strong cases. {66026}{66078}These other chairmen|aren't from your home state. {66080}{66124}Hmm. {66126}{66194}They're not offering|to take you under their wing. {66196}{66292}- Look out for your future.|- And you are? {66294}{66343}Hell yes, I am. {66345}{66404}Oh, well, I'm very flattered,|Mr. Chairman. {66406}{66441}Dick. {66442}{66521}- Well, I'm very flattered, Mr. Dick.|- No, no, no, no. {66522}{66589}- Oh, I'm sorry, Chairman Dick.|- No, Dick. Just Dick. {66590}{66637}- Oh, Dick. Just plain old Dick.|- Yeah. {66638}{66738}Fine. I know you don't|get something for nothing.|What do you want from me, Dick? {66740}{66837}[Chuckles] Well, son,|I want an able lieutenant. {66873}{66948}And I want you to smile|for the cameras. {67006}{67083}Skeeter, you know Thomas Johnson,|the new member of the committee? {67085}{67136}Thomas, this is|Barclay Warburton. {67138}{67195}- How are you, Barclay?|- Skeeter, please. {67197}{67273}- Been called that since boarding school.|- Oh, sorry, man. {67275}{67345}- Cheers.|- Yeah, cheers. Skeeter. {67347}{67416}Thomas, please. Been called that|since reform school. {67557}{67666}This EPA oversight hearing|of the committee on Power|and Industry will come to order. {67668}{67749}I would like to welcome|our first witness, {67751}{67837}the distinguished administrator|of the Environmental Protection Agency. {67839}{67944}But before I do,|I would like to note that we|have a new member joining us today. {67946}{67992}The distinguished gentleman|from Florida. {68062}{68149}[Photographer] Congressman Johnson?|Sir, can we get a shot, please? {68151}{68213}- Thank you.|- How am I doing? {68215}{68260}Great. Great. {68296}{68352}Well, Mike, enjoy|those hors d'oeuvres. {68353}{68477}[Indistinct Chatter] {68506}{68573}Hi. My name is Miss Loretta,|and I'd like it... {68574}{68660}very much if you'd sign|one of these little name tags. {68661}{68709}That would be just nice. {68710}{68816}It's an informal breakfast. You give us|your point of view, we give you, uh, {68818}{68880}bacon and eggs|plus a $2,000 honorarium. {68882}{68940}For your favorite charity,|of course. {68942}{69029}The Thomas Jefferson Johnson|Foundation. {69031}{69096}Oh, okay. An honorarium. {69098}{69145}I like the way that sounds. {69149}{69190}[Man] Excuse me.|Nice to see you. {69251}{69320}[Thomas]|Excuse me a second. {69322}{69368}- Hi.|- Hello. {69370}{69453}- How are you? Very nice|to meet you, Miss Celia Kirby.|- Good, thank you. {69455}{69537}It's a extremely beautiful name|for an extremely beautiful woman. {69538}{69590}Well, my, that was very smooth. {69592}{69648}You know, after about ten hours|straight on my feet, {69650}{69710}making small talk, breathing in|that cheap cigar smoke, {69712}{69776}that is exactly the kind of line|I'm ready to fall for. {69778}{69857}- [Chuckling] Slow down, okay?|- Sure. {69858}{69934}Tell me, which one of these guys|is Congressman Johnson? {69936}{69983}- You're looking for the congressman?|- Yes. {69985}{70061}How would you feel if I told you|I was the congressman? Aha! {70108}{70148}- Oh, duh!|- I'm so sorry. {70149}{70214}Would you give me two seconds to take|my foot out of my mouth, please? {70216}{70302}Take all the time you need.|Can we start over again? {70304}{70360}Yes, Celia Kirby,|Legislative Director of Pro Bono. {70361}{70424}Celia kirby from Pro Bono!|Very nice to meet you. {70425}{70458}- Yes.|- Would you tell me something? {70460}{70514}Are all the pro bonettes|as fine as you? {70516}{70606}Pro Bono is a public interest|research and advocacy group. {70608}{70669}I'd be delighted to brief you|on our priorities this session. {70671}{70760}Do you think, perhaps, I could call|your A.A. and be put on your schedule? {70762}{70808}- Call my A.A.?|- Yes. {70809}{70887}No, you don't have to call my A.A.|Why don't we do this? {70889}{70969}Why don't we, say now, go out to|dinner? You can brief me at dinner. {70971}{71028}I'd like an appointment,|Congressman, not a date. {71030}{71081}We could write it up|as an appointment, {71083}{71132}but we'll have, like,|flowers and dinner, {71134}{71189}a mandolin, and it'll be|a "floral" appointment. {71190}{71281}It was a pleasure|to meet you, Congressman.|I will be in touch with your staff. {71282}{71354}There's one other thing.|I'm particularly interested... {71356}{71461}in hearing your view on extending|the sexual harassment law|to include congressmen. {71463}{71546}Oh. I get it. {71548}{71628}Can we turn the A.C. down, please? {71788}{71835}Thank you. {71837}{71941}Uh, I have a confession to make.|I don't know very much about poultry. {71942}{71990}But I do know people, {71991}{72065}and I like you people.|I really do. {72067}{72183}And if you people come to me|and you say to me... {72185}{72302}that you have something to say|important about poultry, {72361}{72444}I'm gonna listen.|Thank you very much. {72870}{72939}Thank you for seeing us.|We won't take up much of your time. {72941}{72987}- This is Ira Schecter,|our research director.|- Hi, Ira, how are you? {72989}{73037}This is Mr. Reinhardt.|You remember him? {73039}{73088}Come sit next to me|and have this chitchat. {73090}{73165}I've been dying to talk to you|about these issues. {73167}{73214}Sit, everybody, sit.|Come on. {73215}{73265}- All right.|- We can take as long as we want. {73267}{73314}Congressman, you do have|several people waiting. {73315}{73362}- No, no, they can wait.|- They can wait. {73363}{73438}What are you doing standing, Ira?|Sit down, Ira! {73440}{73486}Uh, sure. {73488}{73541}Well... [Clears Throat]|These are issue papers. {73543}{73594}- Ah.|- This session we're|targeting child safety, {73596}{73661}auto insurance premiums|and food additives. {73663}{73741}Certainly, as the votes come up, you'll|be hearing plenty from the other side. {73742}{73808}We simply would like a fair shot|at making our case too. {73810}{73865}- Absolutely.|- Absolutely. {73866}{73934}Okay, now, let's talk about car|insurance. What are you paying, Ira? {73936}{73988}- Me? Oh.|- [Thomas] Yes. {73990}{74089}Uh, well, I have an '82|Dodge Dart and, uh, {74091}{74200}I pay about $650 a year,|or so. {74202}{74259}Six hundred fifty dollars?|Man, that's highway robbery. {74261}{74361}A chop shop wouldn't give you more|than 230 on a junker like that. {74362}{74409}Or so I've heard. {74439}{74491}Hey, look,|I'm flying blind here. {74493}{74574}What we need to do is for you|to put together a little package. {74576}{74631}Put a package together|for me and we'll sit down. {74633}{74717}We'll block aside two Saturday evenings|and we can discuss it then. {74719}{74793}Well, I don't see any problem|with arranging that. {74795}{74870}Once again, you've been more than|generous with your time, Congressman. {74872}{74954}What are you doin'?|I clear my whole calendar and you're|in and outta here in five minutes? {74956}{75004}Look, sit down.|We haven't discussed child safety yet. {75006}{75093}Ira, sit. I'm gonna slap you.|Sit. Come on, down. Sit down! {75094}{75164}Let's finish talking.|Let's talk about child safety now. {75165}{75249}This is an important issue.|Child safety. {75251}{75348}Well, we are sponsoring a bill imposing|safety standards on imported toys. {75350}{75406}Great. I hate imported toys.|Hate 'em. {75408}{75497}I wish they didn't exist.|Especially those little baseball men... {75499}{75570}with the springs in their neck that do|this. What is that? Fuck that, right? {75572}{75613}- Fuck that.|- [Thomas] Yeah, I hate that. {75614}{75672}Why don't we do this? Like I said,|put the package together. {75674}{75754}We'll block aside a couple of Saturday|evenings and we can discuss it... {75756}{75840}- And you can take me|through all the ins and outs.|- "Ins and outs"? {75923}{75970}I'd like to do|more money for you, {75972}{76028}but first I've got to get|your positions on a few issues. {76030}{76103}Now where are you|on sugar price supports? {76133}{76225}- Sugar price supports.|- Hmm? {76226}{76302}- Where should I be, Terry?|- Shit, it makes no difference to me. {76304}{76424}If you're for 'em, I got money|for you from my sugar producers|in Louisiana and Hawaii. {76425}{76505}If you're against 'em, I got money|for you from the candy manufacturers. {76567}{76632}- You pick.|- Let's say... for. {76634}{76669}Yeah, for. For. {76671}{76769}How about putting limits|on malpractice awards? {76847}{76890}Oh, you tell me. {76892}{76970}If you're for 'em, I got money from|the doctors and insurance companies. {76972}{77058}If you're against 'em,|I got money from the trial lawyers. {77100}{77201}- Let's put you down as against.|- Yeah, you know what?|Put me down for against. {77228}{77277}How about pizza? {77278}{77333}Oh, no, this salad|is gonna be enough for me. {77334}{77421}Not for lunch, old buddy.|For PAC money. {77423}{77500}You thought I was serious?|I was fuckin' with you. {77501}{77588}- Well, you are. You are!|- Fuckin' with you. Uh, duh! {77589}{77646}Terry, tell me something. {77648}{77725}With all this money|comin' in from both sides, {77727}{77780}how could anything|possibly ever get done? {77781}{77860}It doesn't.|That's the genius of the system. {77862}{77915}[Thomas, Terry Laugh] {77917}{78017}Hey, baby, put down nuclear|power for ten G's. {78019}{78065}Mambo! {78067}{78179}[Loretta]|Cool! Yeah, the congressman's|gonna be out your way next week. {78181}{78282}Mr. Willie? Congressman Johnson|calling. Can you take his call? {78284}{78356}Thank you. Please hold. {78357}{78406}A-one, a-two... {78408}{78481}Yes, Mr. Brown.|Uh-huh, on the 30th. {78483}{78531}We were wondering whether|you aerospace people... {78533}{78590}might want to lay on a luncheon|so that you can hear his views. {78592}{78689}I'm sorry, Mr. Willie.|He just picked up another call. {78691}{78792}I know why he was calling you. He hasn't|heard from you about his fund-raiser. {78794}{78888}A thousand dollars a head?|A whole table! {78889}{78966}Lovely. Yeah. {78968}{79051}Well, now, what kind of|a contribution to his foundation|were you folks thinking about? {79195}{79256}Now, we'll have a little|huntin' in the morning, {79257}{79307}little fishin' in the afternoon, {79309}{79371}clean air, beautiful scenery. {79373}{79446}All to work up a good appetite,|'cause we got a fine French chef... {79448}{79495}back at the lodge|flown in special. {79497}{79599}Oh! That's very, very nice. {79601}{79676}- You don't want anything from us?|- We would enjoy the opportunity... {79678}{79725}to share our views. {79726}{79816}You see, we feel that the semiautomatic|weapon's gotten a bad rap. {79818}{79907}Now, the gun control nuts try to make|out that they're for drug dealers only. {79909}{80013}But, uh, really, they're just guns|for the ordinary sportsman. {80014}{80109}[Chuckling]|Nothin' like a nice, warm Uzi. {80110}{80223}[Duck Call Quacking] {80225}{80291}[Duck Call Continues] {80423}{80498}[Quacking] {80865}{80911}Yee-hee! {80959}{81031}Must have had a heart attack. {81316}{81358}Aaah! {81416}{81535}And according to the 1988 study,|it showed eight per 100,000. {81594}{81685}- Am I losing you on these|mortality rates, Congressman?|- No, not at all. {81687}{81803}I was, uh, I was just wondering|how much of this is a statutory problem, {81805}{81878}- And how much of it is a regulatory one.|- Mmm, mm-hmm. {81880}{81990}- Didn't the Merton Act|cover most of this?|- Excellent point. {81992}{82097}Excellent point.|Let me check something out. {82098}{82151}Excuse me. {82261}{82340}You're absolutely right. {82341}{82397}Maybe we could get them|to amend Merton. {82399}{82464}Oh, get 'em to amend it. {82465}{82513}Yes! {82515}{82613}Get 'em to amend it, huh?|Well, "For Merton to apply, {82615}{82703}you have to show high contagion. {82705}{82820}It sounds to me like|your contagion... rates... {82821}{82882}are no higher|than the common clod." {83005}{83074}"Cold." "Common cold." {83076}{83152}Excuse me a second. Arthur! {83154}{83240}- Ow!|- What were we talking about? {83371}{83466}How'd you wind up hustling for pro bono|instead of pesticides anyway? {83468}{83540}- 'Cause you could have|been a big-time lawyer.|- I was for a while. {83541}{83648}- But it depressed me.|- What could be depressing|about makin' $100,000 a year? {83650}{83733}- I know you gotta get sick|of losin' all the time.|- Of course I do. {83735}{83810}Mainly it makes me angry,|and the anger keeps me going. {83812}{83901}Of course I'd like to win a few|and I'm not allergic to money either. {83903}{83976}- So why are you doin' it?|- Hey. {83978}{84084}It's so embarrassing to come|right out and say why I do it. {84085}{84156}- Why?|- It's embarrassing for me to say. {84157}{84207}- I just feel...|- Stop! What? {84209}{84283}Meaning! {84285}{84396}My life has to mean something. {84397}{84460}So now I have a question for you. {84461}{84555}I'd like to know how you|got named after a memorial. {84557}{84618}Oh.|[Chuckling] {84620}{84720}My grandmother liked Jefferson.|You know, "life, liberty|and the pursuit of happiness." {84722}{84776}You know,|old black folks' thing. {84777}{84895}There's a lot to live up to, so I|kinda specialize in one portion of that. {84897}{84961}That's the pursuit|of happiness. {84962}{85027}- And how's it going?|- Um. {85029}{85078}- Honestly?|- Mm-hmm. {85080}{85203}I was goin' real good|'til I met you. {85205}{85288}Now, the better I do,|the worse I feel. {85290}{85378}Isn't that strange? {85586}{85659}Mmm, when can I see you again?|Let's go to dinner Saturday night. {85661}{85777}- How about Sunday morning?|- Oh, oh, brunch? {85779}{85859}The wages of sin is death! {85861}{85992}And to the man who values|gold over goodness, {85993}{86067}the Lord allows no exemptions. {86069}{86165}- [Congregation] Amen.|- Amen. {86167}{86249}And to the man|who shows no respect... {86250}{86327}for the privilege|of walking this Earth, {86329}{86401}the Lord allows no deductions. {86403}{86518}- Amen.|- And to the man whose|pockets are bulging... {86520}{86582}and whose soul is empty, {86584}{86677}the Lord grants|no 90-day extension. {86718}{86831}And when the last trump sounds, {86833}{86911}believe me,|you will be audited. {86985}{87100}This is a wonderful date. {87127}{87187}Oh, darling,|I'm glad you could make it! {87189}{87250}Oh, I love that sermon,|Uncle Eli. {87252}{87300}This is your uncle? {87301}{87397}Yes, my niece tells me you're|not half as slimy as I thought. {87399}{87499}That puts you somewhere between a lizard|and a toad. Quite a step up, huh? {87501}{87547}Thank you very much. {87549}{87603}Forgive me for staring. I don't know|how I missed the family resemblance. {87641}{87735}She's you in a skirt. {87737}{87792}[TV Announcer]... trailing by 13|as we begin the second half. {87793}{87847}[Man] Yeah, I guess we're|all bringin' our wives. {87849}{87911}Al, you gonna bring your wife,|ain't ya? {87913}{87964}[Al Chuckling]|You bet. {87966}{88030}[TV Continues Indistinct] {88032}{88091}Uh-huh. Uh. {88093}{88197}[TV Continues Indistinct] {88198}{88246}Oh, I slipped. {88360}{88421}- Ellie.|- How ya doin', Thomas? {88423}{88477}I need your help|on the ethics bill, Leon. {88479}{88573}- I want you to cosponsor my amendments.|- You make a persuasive case, Eli. {88574}{88652}But that wasn't a yes. {88653}{88739}I promise to give it|the attention it deserves. {88741}{88828}- Better luck next time, son.|- Yeah, man, you're so good.|He's so good. {88830}{88905}He took $600 off you|that last hand, didn't he? {88907}{88958}- He took a real shinin' to me.|- If I didn't know any better, {88960}{89014}I'd say you lost to him|on purpose. {89016}{89068}There's nothin' wrong with lettin'|the head of the ethics committee... {89069}{89116}roll ya every now and then. {89118}{89205}You know, you're gonna fit in|real good around here. Too good. {89206}{89269}How come you never ask me|to help you out with your amendments? {89271}{89329}Oh, come on, Thomas.|Give it a rest. {89330}{89391}Everybody knows|you're Dick Dodge's boy. {89393}{89452}Hey, man, I ain't|nobody's boy, all right? {89453}{89530}Don't waste your outrage on me.|I know what ya are. {89532}{89657}- I am no different than|anybody else up here, okay?|- That's not true. {89658}{89773}You see, some people here actually do|something besides saving their own ass. {89954}{90054}You know, just then you|reminded me of my father. {90056}{90165}Did I really? How so? {90167}{90230}He used to say I was a scumbag too. {90232}{90334}[Bell Ringing] {90336}{90382}Aren't you going to vote? {90384}{90472}Is that what that means?|You know, all this time I've|been listenin' to that shit, {90474}{90545}thinkin' it was time for|Final Jeopardy or somethin'. {90909}{90958}[Chuckling] {90962}{91008}[Indistinct Chatter] {91010}{91061}- [Thomas] Excuse me.|- Excuse me, Congressman. {91063}{91127}- I'm Mrs. Koslowski.|- Hi, I'm leaving. {91129}{91240}We were just learning how a bill|becomes a law. Was that a vote? {91241}{91294}Yes, that was a vote in there.|Oh! Oh! {91296}{91358}Yes, that was a vote.|A vote was made. Bye-bye. {91360}{91466}- And what did you vote?|- Ah, I voted nay. {91467}{91573}It was a terrible bill and it would have|destroyed the fabric of American life. {91574}{91647}What was the vote on? {91649}{91705}[Chuckling]|Rafe! {91707}{91789}Rafe, will you talk to these nice|people. Explain to them about the vote. {91791}{91866}Well, it was a motion on the|previous question on the rule. {91868}{91948}No, it was a motion|on the recommitment... {91949}{92040}of the rule of the motion|of the previous question. {92114}{92167}- Which means?|- Clean air. {92169}{92251}School lunches. {92321}{92443}Ah, you see the difficult choices|we have to make here, kids, {92445}{92549}between clean air|and school lunches, okay? {92550}{92613}That's why I want to be the education|congressman. See, 'cause I feel... {92615}{92701}that American students should be able to|eat lunch and breathe at the same time. {92703}{92772}And I see an America where|there's no such thing... {92773}{92836}as a student|who is below average. {92838}{92948}And I think it is wrong when students|have to stay up late at night... {92949}{93002}and miss all the good shows|doing homework. {93004}{93071}Then get up early in the mornin'|and go to school. {93073}{93163}This sort of thing just is not fair. {93165}{93279}[Cheering] {93341}{93414}- Uh, good morning. May I help you?|- Yes, I'm Ellen Juba. {93416}{93463}- This is my daughter, Mickey.|- Hi. {93465}{93524}We'd like to see our congressman.|We live in the district. {93526}{93590}Just a moment, please. {93592}{93677}Ah, could you come out?|Thank you. {93679}{93791}Be right with you.|I like your hat. {93884}{93970}How do you do? I'm Miss Loretta,|public liaison for the congressman. {93972}{94099}Ellen Juba, my daughter, Mickey.|We'd like to see him. {94101}{94164}Y'all from the district?|Up here seeing the sights? {94165}{94269}How'd you folks like some|gallery passes? Go listen|to the great debates of our day. {94270}{94361}We don't wanna go to the gallery.|We wanna see Congressman Johnson. {94362}{94450}Well, how about a house key ring?|For each of you? {94452}{94564}Here, see that? Isn't that|something? Turns into a pen. {94565}{94662}I don't think you understand.|We're not tourists. We're constituents. {94664}{94758}You're not with some organization,|are you, honey? {94760}{94817}I'm a goddamn citizen.|Isn't that enough? {94819}{94880}Do you have an appointment? {94881}{94983}No, I do not have|an appointment, because y'all|keep givin' me the runaround. {94985}{95056}Well, I'm sorry, but the congressman|is a very busy man. {95057}{95132}Now, if you'd like to discuss it|with me, I will personally... {95134}{95206}go over the issue with him|and get a letter out to you. {95208}{95289}We're not leaving here|until we see him. {95407}{95487}Armando, would you come out front?|We have a situation. {95489}{95571}You stop palming me off|on your flunkies. {95573}{95628}Are you gonna go in there|and tell him we're out here... {95629}{95677}or am I gonna go in there|and tell him myself? {95678}{95725}- Excuse me, may I help you, please?|- Yes, you can. {95727}{95796}- I would like to see|my congressman, please.|- He's not here today. {95798}{95860}- I bet he is here. Excuse me.|- No, no, please, lady. {95862}{95909}- No, you just let me by!|- No, don't push. Okay. Ya! Ya! {95910}{95970}- [Indistinct Shouting]|- I am sick of this! I am fed up! {95972}{96077}- I have every right! Let go of her!|- Hey! {96309}{96371}Oh, baby. {96499}{96562}Come on, Mama. Let's go. {96646}{96694}Hey. {96772}{96858}What happened to you? {96860}{96933}The doctor says they got it all.|I'm gonna be okay. {96934}{97000}I was lucky, but,|but there are others. {97001}{97121}- What others?|- Other kids. They call it|a cancer cluster. {97123}{97213}At first, none of us in the neighborhood|wanted to believe it. {97214}{97261}But then we all saw it. {97262}{97329}For me, it was when the two-year-old|across the street... {97331}{97382}developed a brain tumor|same as Mickey's. {97384}{97508}We looked at everything:|the water, the air, dump sites. {97510}{97582}Insects, you name it. {97584}{97671}And then we realized it was|starin' us right in the face. {97673}{97757}- What?|- Power lines. {97759}{97807}High-voltage power lines. {97809}{97927}The wires cause magnetic fields|and the magnetic fields cause cancer, {97929}{97976}especially in children. {97977}{98040}I've never heard anything|like that in my life. {98042}{98117}Why don't you just|come see for yourself? {98119}{98174}[Children Laughing] {98422}{98533}- This is Mickey's school?|- Uh-huh. {98535}{98617}It turns out a lot of schools|are near power lines. {98619}{98716}Land's cheap, so schools tend|to buy it from the power companies. {98718}{98825}We're nobody, Congressman.|You're somebody. {98827}{98945}- We need your help.|- [Sighing] {98946}{99025}Will you excuse me|for a second? Come here. {99129}{99207}- Is this real?|- That depends on who you ask. {99209}{99291}Some people say it's worse|than asbestos or breast implants. {99293}{99339}Others say it's coincidental. {99341}{99388}Well, you. What do you say? {99389}{99469}I think it's very suspicious that the|White House would kill an EPA report... {99471}{99537}saying that power lines|probably cause cancer. {99538}{99612}- They did that?|- Yes. {99670}{99737}[Sighing] {99738}{99796}Well, I gotta do somethin'|to help these people. {99797}{99858}Don't tell me you're actually|developing a conscience. {99860}{99938}Oh, God, I hope not. It'd be|a fuckin' nuisance in Congress. {99940}{99989}But if I were,|what could I do to help them? {99991}{100040}This goes beyond personal tragedy. {100042}{100151}It goes to a public health hazard|of unknown proportions. {100153}{100235}It goes to the right of the ordinary|people to know all the facts! {100237}{100298}Yeah, people ought to know if|the neighborhoods are killing them. {100300}{100360}Amen, gentlemen. {100361}{100452}Amen! And what a fine effort it is.|I'm totally sympathetic. {100453}{100527}Congressional hearings should|be scheduled just as soon as possible. {100529}{100601}The American people|deserve no less. {100603}{100697}Message: we care. {100698}{100743}Turn this way, please. {100745}{100801}- Right here, sir. Great!|- Over here. {100803}{100878}[Thundering] {100880}{100980}Cheers. {100982}{101038}You know, son,|you're a real comer. {101040}{101129}I wouldn't be a bit surprised|if you ended up in the leadership. {101130}{101188}I'll say this,|if I were speaker, {101189}{101240}I'd sleep better with you|as a lieutenant. {101242}{101323}Thank you very much, Mr. Chairman.|I'm surprised to hear you say that. {101325}{101396}'Cause I really honestly didn't|think you was gonna go with me|on this power lines thing. {101398}{101494}- But I'm not.|- But you said you're sympathetic. {101496}{101596}Well, of course I did. We're all|sympathetic to little girls with cancer. {101598}{101680}But I'm not sympathetic|to holding a public inquiry. {101681}{101761}- You just said...|- I know what I said. {101762}{101820}But sound bites|aren't sworn testimony. {101821}{101940}Now look, son, it's great to get|your name in the newspaper. {101942}{102019}Let 'em know you care.|Very smart move, Thomas. {102021}{102103}But that's as far as I|would go with this if I were you. {102105}{102178}[Intercom Buzzing] {102223}{102289}Yeah? Oh, fine, fine. {102291}{102354}No, no, no, send 'em in. {102356}{102408}We've got some|unexpected visitors. {102409}{102469}- Hope you don't mind.|- Oh, hell, no. {102470}{102525}Sure, great. {102527}{102600}[Laughing]|Mr. Chairman! {102601}{102649}Olaf! {102650}{102740}- Hello, Terry.|- Evenin', Mr. Chairman. {102742}{102818}Thanks for tak...|Thomas! {102820}{102897}They let you in here,|you S.O.B.? {102899}{102972}You folks finally gonna|get to press flesh. Olaf! {102974}{103072}Come and meet Thomas Johnson.|Thomas, Olaf Andersen. {103074}{103131}- Chairman, Gulf Coast Power.|- Glad to meet ya, son. {103133}{103190}They tell me you got|a real talent for the game. {103192}{103309}This is Zeke Bridges, CEO,|Superior Mutual Insurance. {103382}{103464}Som-bitch. {103466}{103557}- Oh, you two know each other?|- Ah, no, we haven't met. {103558}{103608}But I know a great deal|about the man. {103610}{103665}We share a common interest|in international affairs. {103666}{103725}Swedish in particular. {103771}{103881}Oh, another Rolex. I collect these.|Mine's a slightly older model. {103882}{103932}Can I have a double bourbon,|please? {103934}{103997}It is very nice finally|meeting you, Mr. Bridges. {103998}{104074}Yes, it's nice to meet you,|Congressman. {104076}{104201}Thomas and I were just talkin'|about, uh, power lines. {104203}{104272}Man, I think we oughta|have those hearings. {104274}{104377}Well, now look, Thomas, why don't|we get, uh, Olaf's take on this? {104378}{104448}Well, it's tragic.|Cancer's a terrible thing. {104450}{104498}But there's no way you|can link it to power lines. {104500}{104572}- The truth is...|- Wait a minute,|there have been studies... {104573}{104675}Every study that says one thing,|I'll show you a study saying another. {104677}{104745}We've studied this ourselves.|Nada. {104747}{104797}What if all you guys|are wrong? {104799}{104866}Thomas, do you want us|to move the power lines? {104868}{104938}You know how much it would cost to bury|those things in Florida alone? {104940}{105048}- We're talkin' $5 billion.|- Not counting the liability claims. {105050}{105137}How would you like|the people in your district|to think of you as the fellow... {105139}{105209}who tripled|their electric bill? {105300}{105357}I just thought that if|we had the hearings... {105359}{105412}Think for a moment, chum.|You hold your hearings. {105414}{105477}Overnight, everyone who|lives near a substation... {105479}{105548}will find the value|of his home in the toilet. {105550}{105644}- You'll kill the real estate market.|- You'll kill the insurance companies. {105645}{105722}- You'll kill the school district.|- You'll kill the local economy. {105724}{105799}[Thundering] {105877}{105956}Son, system ain't perfect. {105957}{106020}But the fleas come with the dog. {106106}{106177}Maybe I should|think about it, huh? {106178}{106227}- Atta boy.|- [Clearing Throat] {106229}{106317}Oh, Thomas, on a completely|different subject here. {106318}{106373}You haven't set up|a state PAC yet, have ya? {106375}{106469}'Cause I'd be happy to start one off|with a contribution of, say, 200,000. {106572}{106618}No strings attached. {106620}{106707}Natch. {106874}{106925}- You were beautiful, Olaf.|- No, you were beautiful, Dick. {106927}{107038}- No, you were beautiful, Terry.|- To the mutual aid society. {107503}{107564}- Hey.|- Hi. {107566}{107666}So? Are the Jubas|gonna testify? Hmm? {107668}{107716}When's the committee|holding hearings? {107718}{107834}Um, actually, I think the, the hearings|might be postponed a little bit. {107836}{107884}What's Dodge pulling now? {107886}{107998}Nothin'. It's actually kinda good,|'cause now I get to, you know... {108000}{108096}Get to round up some other members|and get my ducks in a row and... {108182}{108243}[Laughing] {108245}{108312}- You shafted me on the ethics bill!|- Hey, Eli! {108313}{108400}You just missed a good one.|Wait a minute, that reminds me. {108401}{108484}- Same two old men on a park bench...|- It's a closed rule! {108485}{108557}I can't get my amendments on the floor!|I can't get a recorded vote. {108558}{108606}I can't get squat! {108607}{108674}This is not the rules committee.|This is the steam room. {108676}{108773}This is the U.S. Congress. The American|people deserve better than this! {108775}{108864}You know what your problem is, Eli?|You've got "sermonitis." {108866}{108897}[Laughing] {108898}{108989}Now, why don't you just relax?|Have a massage. {108990}{109121}I've got news for ya, Dick.|I'm gonna run against you for speaker. {109122}{109184}I'm gonna make this|whole race boil down... {109185}{109254}to whether we want a sleaze like you|in the speaker's chair. {109256}{109344}I'll bet ya $100|you don't get ten votes. {109345}{109417}[Sighing]|I'm gonna be your shadow, Dick. {109418}{109510}Every member ya strong-arm,|every reporter ya background, {109512}{109591}every talk show ya go on,|I'll be there. {109593}{109661}Five votes!|Nobody likes to hear a sermon. {109662}{109752}I may not have a rat's ass|of a chance to beat you, {109753}{109812}but I sure as hell|can let the world know... {109813}{109884}what you stand for. {110089}{110151}I went too far with him.|I know it. {110153}{110224}- Now you know him|pretty well, don't you?|- I wouldn't say I knew him well. {110226}{110302}Oh, come on, Thomas,|you're seein' his niece. {110304}{110380}- Hell, you've been out|to his damn church.|- How do you know that? {110382}{110453}Because I keep my ear|to the ground. {110454}{110510}Now, Thomas,|he'll listen to you. {110512}{110572}I want you to go make|the peace between us. {110574}{110633}Tell him we'll work something out|with his amendments. {110634}{110741}Not a vote, I won't go that far.|But at least he'll get to say|his peace from the floor. {110743}{110794}Just get him off of my back. {110895}{110954}- Another round?|- Yeah, why not? {110956}{111031}To the honorable Dick Dodge. {111073}{111120}Hey. {111171}{111245}By the time I'm finished with him,|he won't be speaker. {111247}{111297}He'll be lucky|if they don't indict him. {111299}{111393}Eli, people do things that they regret,|man. People make mistakes. {111395}{111453}- Dick's been under|a lot of pressure lately.|- Come on! {111454}{111507}Thomas, you're|Dick Dodge's yes-man. {111509}{111596}I am not a yes-man.|When Dick says no, I say no. {111597}{111696}I know what you're up to.|He's scared and this is damage control. {111697}{111814}Yeah, well, you know what?|This town... {111816}{111883}It isn't about|passin' laws anymore. {111885}{111968}It isn't about|doing good anymore. {111970}{112060}All it's about...|is bein' here. {112061}{112142}[Loretta]|Well, as I live and breathe. {112144}{112201}- Hey, cuz.|- Hey. {112202}{112299}Oh, I'm sorry. This is|Miss Loretta Hicks from my staff. {112301}{112362}- This is Congressman Hawkins.|- Pleasure to meet you. {112364}{112452}Oh, would you like a drink? {112453}{112539}You know, you two look like you|could use a designated driver. {112541}{112630}- Oh, good samaritan.|- Praise 'em. {112764}{112848}[Dispatcher] Number 22,|I got a pickup at the Regency, {112849}{112902}going to National. {112976}{113037}You want a girlfriend? {113039}{113122}[Dispatcher]|Eighteen, Union Station. {113402}{113471}Shit! {113473}{113565}[Indistinct Yelling] {113567}{113661}[Indistinct] {113909}{113955}Oh, shit. {114474}{114522}Yeah, I need|an ambulance right away. {114577}{114650}[Telephone Beeping]|Hello? {114652}{114707}- It's somebody called Thomas Johnson.|- Oh. {114709}{114765}- What's wrong?|- I went out with Hawkins. {114767}{114837}We got in an accident.|He's out cold. I'm okay though. {114838}{114953}- Were you driving?|- No, it was Miss Loretta. {114955}{115035}- The girl from your office?|- Yeah. Hey, look, man. {115037}{115088}I don't like the way|this looks for anybody, okay? {115090}{115162}You said you wanted to|get back in Hawkins' good graces.|This is your opportunity. {115164}{115270}All right. Now you listen|to me very carefully. {115272}{115338}I want you to tell the ambulance|to take you to Walter Reed Hospital. {115340}{115429}It's a privilege they extend|to congressmen. They'll keep it quiet. {115431}{115541}I'll handle the police and you go home.|Keep your mouth shut. {115543}{115594}[Beeping] {115596}{115676}- [Ringing]|- What? What? What? {115715}{115813}Hello? Hello?|Mr... . Mr... . Mr. Chairman? {115815}{115900}Um, um, um,|no, no, no, no, sir. {115902}{115964}No, no, I'm,|I'm, I'm a night owl. {115966}{116055}Uh-huh, um... {116057}{116113}Oh, my God,|is, is he all right? {116155}{116237}G-Good, good, good.|Um, and, and Eli and Loretta? {116264}{116385}Uh-huh, uh-huh. {116386}{116451}Uh-huh. {116453}{116499}That's brilliant,|Mr. Chairman. {116501}{116600}No, I'll call the morning shows and|leak the information. They'll eat it up. {116602}{116688}At the top of the news,|Maryland Congressman Elijah Hawkins... {116689}{116765}is in satisfactory condition|at Walter Reed Hospital... {116767}{116816}after an overnight accident|in the district. {116818}{116926}That's right, Laura. Hawkins|reportedly had alcohol in his blood. {116928}{117010}Also slightly injured was|an unidentified woman whom police say... {117012}{117066}is linked to a phone-sex|operation in Florida. {117068}{117117}- Shit.|- Linda, Congressman Hawkins? {117119}{117177}That's Reverend Hawkins,|isn't it? {117179}{117261}Right you are, Laura. And how this plays|into his longstanding campaign... {117262}{117323}to reform congressional ethics|is now anyone's guess. {117366}{117413}I'm trying to find|Reverend Eli Hawkins. {117414}{117516}[Nurse]|Let me check for you. {117518}{117592}Yes, he's right around|the corner there. {117654}{117729}Stay away from him.|Stay away from me too. {117731}{117804}- Celia, listen, we were set up.|- We were set up? {117806}{117865}You were in the car. I didn't hear|your name mentioned on the news. {117866}{117970}- Somethin' stinks here.|- It sure does,|and guess who it is, Thomas? {117972}{118019}You don't give a damn|about anything, do you? {118021}{118068}To think the other night|I actually thought you cared... {118070}{118136}- About somebody other than yourself.|- You know how I feel about... {118137}{118216}Not me! You jerk!|Mickey Juba. {118217}{118298}You caved on the power lines,|didn't you? {118300}{118393}Don't even answer because I know|you did. What'd you get for it? {118395}{118469}- Are you gonna let me talk?|- Get the hell outta here. {118470}{118541}Get out! {118757}{118835}[Thomas]|Hattie! Hattie Rifkin? {118837}{118911}- Oh, rifkeleh!|- Don't rifkeleh me, you momzer! {118913}{118984}- What the hell do you want?|- Hattie, I wanna talk to you. {118986}{119084}I've heard that before,|Mr. Name-You-Know. {119086}{119190}Hattie, I know you got me elected|and I forgot your name in the mornin'.|I'm sorry. {119192}{119287}I'm sorry, but I really, really,|really... I really need you. {119289}{119364}So talk. {119369}{119437}Why are we meetin' here,|Thomas? {119439}{119487}Trouble at the office? {119489}{119552}Well, Dodge says he keeps|his ear to the ground. {119554}{119609}But I know that's bullshit.|He has an inside man. {119610}{119657}- Reinhardt?|- Yes. {119658}{119741}- Let's whack him.|- Hey, this ain't Scarface, all right? {119774}{119858}You got a plan? {119860}{119951}Big con.|Dick Dodge is the mark. {119953}{120016}- Dick Dodge?|- Aren't we getting out|of our league here, man? {120017}{120065}This guy's been doin'|the big con for over 30 years. {120067}{120131}Mmm, cuz, these politicians, {120133}{120201}these are some serious slick fish. {120202}{120269}Wait a second. Is everybody|goin' soft here all of a sudden? {120271}{120336}Are you all a bunch|of fuckin' incumbents now? {120338}{120401}Listen, Thursday, Dick Dodge|is at the arts caucus, all right? {120403}{120479}I need to know how long it takes|to get from there to the EPA building. {120481}{120526}All right, Armando?|Okay, now. {120528}{120602}Loretta, get some information|on the EPA and give that to the roper. {120604}{120656}I got a list of equipment|I want you to go get. {120658}{120708}- Crazy, baby.|- Hey. {120710}{120801}Don't we need a new roper?|I mean, hey, look, everybody|around here knows our faces. {120803}{120880}- [Car Horn Honking]|- Speak of the devil. {121002}{121071}- My man!|- What up, T? {121073}{121172}- Homer!|- What's up? {121234}{121338}Hey, Dick.|Eli Hawkins got his tail... {121340}{121405}- Caught in a crack, huh?|- He did. {121407}{121485}- And you kept my name out of it?|- I did. {121487}{121541}- So I owe you?|- You do. {121650}{121717}This hearing of the committee on Power|and Industry will come to order. {121718}{121808}[Dodge] The health|of America's insurance industry... {121810}{121921}Hey, come here. Somethin' came up.|I got a call from an EPA guy. {121922}{121978}Said he heard how fast|I bailed on the power lines. {121980}{122034}He's got something|really hot for me. {122036}{122131}He wants to meet me outta the office,|after business hours, like tonight. {122230}{122289}[Thomas]|Mr. Whitney? {122290}{122344}You said you'd be alone. {122346}{122396}What is he doin' here?|What is he, a cop? {122397}{122478}You wearin' a wire?|You wearin' a goddamn wire? {122480}{122526}Relax, Mr. Whitney,|I'm not wired. {122528}{122588}Yeah? {122590}{122652}Well, let's see. {122654}{122722}I know you got it.|I just gotta find it, that's all. {122768}{122846}- Get your hands off me!|- Hey, man, I told ya he's okay. {122848}{122895}He's not wired.|Look. He has no wire here. {122897}{122971}No wire. You can trust him.|Look at this guy. {122973}{123081}He's got fire engines|on his drawers. This is a good man.|Now cool it. Just relax. {123083}{123140}Is this gonna be|something we can use? {123141}{123218}Your friends at the power company|would be very interested. {123291}{123404}- Talk to me.|- All right. {123405}{123477}The White House|is putting heat on the EPA. {123479}{123548}Now we're gonna announce|a major investigation... {123550}{123617}on the relation between power lines|and cancer clusters. {123891}{123969}Mrs. Dodge, it's Arthur Reinhardt.|May I please speak to the chairman? {124067}{124144}[Woman On Intercom]|Mr. Andersen? Mr. Bridges is on one. {124146}{124209}Zeke!|How in the hell are ya? {124211}{124278}[As Zeke] I'm madder than a baptist|in a brothel, you som-bitch! {124280}{124392}Olaf! You hear about this EPA bullshit?|Why, it could ruin Gulf Coast Power! {124393}{124464}They're goin' ahead with this goddamn|power lines investigation. {124465}{124541}I thought we had this settled.|They don't have any proof. {124543}{124591}They ain't lookin' for proof! They're|lookin' for dinner and we're it! {124593}{124658}I tell ya, I'm about as crazy|as a dog in a hubcap factory. {124660}{124755}[Sighing]|Ah, shit. {124757}{124829}All right, Zeke. {124831}{124892}Zeke, I'm goin' up to D.C.|for the clean air hearings anyway. {124894}{124953}I'll talk to Dodge. {124991}{125039}- Ya got a second?|- Yeah. {125041}{125097}Okay, I heard something. And I know|there's some business in it. {125099}{125210}- I'm listening.|- EPA, launching a big|investigation on power lines. {125212}{125284}- They're gettin' a lot|of pressure from the White House.|- That's very interesting. {125286}{125366}I heard the same thing. {125368}{125423}- Nothing gets by you, does it?|- Not much. {125425}{125516}But thank you, son.|I appreciate your sharing that with me. {125517}{125593}Okay, so, there's probably|something in it for us. {125595}{125668}Thomas, if we got the EPA|off Olaf Andersen's back, {125669}{125737}he'd be extremely|appreciative. {125739}{125841}- So... how do we go about doin' that?|- My committee. {125843}{125928}We audit their funding.|Hell, I got him by the balls. {125929}{125985}- So you're just gonna|rip their balls o...|- Oh, no, no, no. {125986}{126058}Thomas, persuasion. {126060}{126145}- Strenuous persuasion.|- Oh, now, that's allowed. {126147}{126217}Persuasion, yes.|Intimidation, no. {126219}{126285}But... it's a gray area. {126287}{126345}- Who's to say which is which?|- Oh! {126347}{126425}Persuasion. You can't rip 'em out.|You have to persuade 'em out. {126427}{126502}Hey, Dick, is there somebody|you can call to make sure... {126504}{126553}the EPA's really doing|the investigation? {126555}{126613}- Of course. He oughta be in by now.|- Who? {126615}{126742}Skeeter Warburton, of course.|Always go straight to the top, son. {126744}{126851}Oh, a little outta|my league, Dick. {126985}{127030}Hey. {127056}{127099}Watch it. {127101}{127164}Let's go! {127230}{127300}[Hattie]|Congressman Dodge? {127302}{127374}Oh, uh, uh, Mrs. Rifkin|from the, uh... {127376}{127433}Silver Foxes. You remember, {127435}{127510}America's second-largest|seniors' organization... {127512}{127600}with members in every district|in Florida, including yours. {127602}{127688}Oh, yes, of course. It's a marvelous|organization, just marvelous. {127690}{127774}- Well, it's always a pleasure to see...|- I need to talk to you. {127776}{127869}Yes, I'd like that very much,|but right now I'm in a rush|to get back to my office. {127870}{127961}- You call for an appointment.|We'll get together...|- This won't take a second. {127962}{128031}- Could I just walk ya to your office?|- Uh, well... {128033}{128085}- That'd be fine.|- Oh, good. {128599}{128689}If the FDA would just agree|to look at the new support hose, {128690}{128757}we'd feel like|we made some progress. {128759}{128855}Indeed, you know, Mrs. Rifkin, I'm|always so excited to hear your views, {128857}{128913}but really, dear,|I've got to run. {128915}{128966}So run,|who's keeping you? {128968}{129056}So don't be a stranger.|Keep in touch. {129388}{129434}[Elevator Bell Ringing] {129533}{129606}[Elevator Bell Ringing] {129840}{129900}[Coin Clanging] {130103}{130173}Kimberly, can you get me|Skeeter Warburton on the phone, please? {130174}{130222}Right away, Chairman Dodge. {130258}{130360}- Uh, sweep for radon?|- Radon? I'm sorry, l... {130361}{130409}I don't recall. {130411}{130470}Do you have a work order? {130472}{130538}Oh, no, uh,|Supervisor said, uh... {130540}{130601}Supervisor said ain't supposed|to be no paperwork on this... {130603}{130662}'cause something about|y'all killed some radon study. {130664}{130721}Well, we did delete|a few minor budget items. {130723}{130772}Hey, how's it gonna look|to the other people... {130773}{130866}if they find out I swept your office|for radon, didn't do everybody else's? {130868}{130942}- How that gonna look, Mr. Warburton?|- Point taken. Go right ahead. {130944}{131001}You better step outside. I gotta spray|some nasty shit. Look at that. {131002}{131070}Uh-huh. {131072}{131140}Ah, Brenda? I'm stepping out|for a few minutes. {131142}{131225}Yeah, Brenda, don't come in here, 'cause|you may get some of this shit on ya. {131463}{131516}[As Warburton]|Ah, Brenda, I've changed my mind. {131518}{131620}- I'm expecting a call from...|- Mr. Warburton,|Chairman Dodge is on line two. {131622}{131705}Oh, speak of the devil.|Put him through. {131707}{131764}Afternoon, Mr. Chairman.|Skeeter here. {131765}{131813}I need a straight answer|from you, Skeeter. {131814}{131862}Is the White House|on your back about power lines? {131863}{131942}- Are we off the record, Mr. Chairman?|- Of course. {131944}{132040}I had hoped to go up to Hyannis Port|this weekend to spend time with Tish... {132041}{132111}and do some sailing, but I don't think|I'm going to be able to because I'm... {132113}{132212}spending a lot of time|in the office writing testimony|to your committee on cancer clusters. {132213}{132336}Well, l, uh, appreciate|your candor, Skeeter. {132337}{132400}- Anything to be of help, Mr. Chairman.|- Bye. {132481}{132576}[As Warburton] Ah, take off for|the rest of the week, please, Brenda. {132578}{132637}[Dodge] I don't see|how I can help ya on this one. {132639}{132702}This is the EPA.|This is the president. {132704}{132777}- This is my lifeblood.|- Olaf, I see that. I see that. {132779}{132837}But in this town|you've gotta pick your fights. {132839}{132928}This could mean|six figures, Dick. {132977}{133042}High six figures. {133102}{133176}Seven figures? {133272}{133367}I suppose a million dollars|isn't too much to insure against|losin' five billion. {133369}{133461}- Now you're talkin'.|- But how can I funnel|this kind of money to you? {133463}{133572}If that's what you want,|we can find a loophole.|No one will see your fingerprints. {133573}{133624}- No one will know?|- No one will know. {133625}{133714}Olaf's just making a contribution|as a patriotic citizen. {133716}{133821}- And in return for that, he's getting...|- Good government! {133822}{133876}Exactly!|Little access, that's all. {133877}{133977}Yes, I'm callin' from Chairman Dodge's|office on the Hill. {133979}{134105}We wanted to be sure CNN was sending|a crew to the clean air hearings today. {134107}{134165}No, not the new|emission standards. {134167}{134262}We're breaking news.|This is the biggest thing|since the check bouncing scandal. {134263}{134317}This is Cynthia Leeson from|the White House press office. {134319}{134410}My boss just wanted me|to call you folks and let you know|we're going to be making... {134412}{134512}a very important announcement|today at the clean air hearings. {134513}{134622}No, I'm sorry, I can't|tell you that, but it's hot. {134624}{134695}If the New York Times wants to be|the only paper in town to miss out... {134697}{134768}on the biggest story of the year,|that's just up to y'all. {134770}{134878}Hurry up, get into your seats.|Come on, you guys. {134880}{134946}[Hattie] It's gonna be a great day.|Molly, next to Harry. {135007}{135069}- Let's sit here.|- What, in the back? {135070}{135117}- Just sit down, will you?|- All right. {135119}{135221}- How's everything?|- Great. {135223}{135284}You know what would be|a wonderful way for us to start? {135286}{135382}With me congratulating you|on what a wonderful job you've|been doing on the committee. {135384}{135470}And really show our appreciation|especially on behalf|of the minority community. {135472}{135524}Well, I appreciate that, son.|Thank you very much. {135526}{135584}I'm cutting out of here early. {135586}{135634}[Ira]|Don't wanna run into him? {135636}{135684}This is a mistake.|I never should have come. {135685}{135760}I'm surprised, well, delighted|by the media turnout today. {135761}{135877}- I had no idea that clean air|was such a good issue.|- Oh, yeah, isn't it somethin'? {136042}{136102}This meeting of the Power|and Industry Committee... {136104}{136205}to consider the reauthorization|of the clean air act is now in session. {136207}{136277}Today's first business is a panel|of national leaders... {136278}{136346}in the field of utilities,|but before I welcome them, {136348}{136466}the chair would like to yield to the|distinguished gentleman from Florida. {136468}{136575}Thank you, Mr. Chairman.|I'd like to make a very personal|statement, Mr. Chairman. {136577}{136683}I would like to start off by saying|thank you from the bottom of my heart, {136685}{136789}thank you for your leadership|and for your vision. {136790}{136856}But most of all I'd like to|thank you for your courage. {136858}{136934}Especially for your courage. {136936}{137057}- My courage, huh?|- Yes, sir, your courage... {137059}{137181}in exposing the corruption|that eats away at this institution. {137183}{137244}Your courage in taking on|the special interests... {137246}{137344}and your courage in taking|a major new step. {137346}{137394}But l-I've done nothing new. {137396}{137452}Nothing at all.|What are you talking about? {137454}{137545}This is true! Because integrity|is nothing new to you, Mr. Chairman. {137546}{137609}Integrity is second nature|to this man. {137611}{137688}But still it's a rare public servant|who'll take on the PACs... {137690}{137793}and the lobbyists|and the fat cats... {137795}{137877}and side with the American family|who just want to live|in safe neighborhoods... {137879}{137934}and send their kids|off to safe schools. {137936}{138012}Well, I thank the gentleman,|but we really must move along.|If the gentleman would... {138014}{138079}Ladies and gentlemen,|yesterday, {138081}{138144}I had a meeting|with the chairman... {138145}{138202}in his office|with Mr. Olaf Andersen... {138204}{138288}of Gulf Coast Power,|and his lobbyist, Mr. Terry Corrigan. {138289}{138390}I thank the gentleman!|But we really must move along! {138392}{138438}The subject of this meeting... {138440}{138518}was the possible EPA|investigation on power lines... {138520}{138600}and the connection between them|and increased cancer risks. {138601}{138654}Gentleman's out of order. {138656}{138726}Now what makes|this meeting different... {138728}{138805}from most of the other meetings|that take place in Washington... {138807}{138897}was that the American people|were actually represented... {138899}{138976}in the form of this. {139021}{139071}Oh! {139145}{139258}At Chairman Dodge's suggestion, {139260}{139351}I videotaped the entire meeting! {139353}{139399}Huh? {139401}{139487}Don't ya love that? {139489}{139565}Isn't that somethin'? Dick Dodge!|Isn't he somethin' special? {139567}{139624}- Don't you love this man?|- [Gavel Pounding] {139625}{139691}- Gentleman is out of order.|- Dodge double-crossed us. {139693}{139754}- You're fired.|- Don't ya love this chairman? {139756}{139802}[Gavel Pounding]|Gentleman is out of order! {139804}{139888}See, he's brought dignity back to|the name Dick. No longer is it tricky. {139890}{139976}Come on, Dick is good!|Dick is good! {139978}{140034}- Turn off his microphone!|- Chairman Dodge! {140117}{140215}This is neither the time|nor the place for these matters. {140217}{140309}But you may rest assured|that the committee... {140311}{140365}will investigate them|thoroughly. {140367}{140485}Now, we're gonna take|a 15-minute recess. {140487}{140566}Dick, you crazy son of a bitch,|you know we planned this. {140594}{140689}[Crowd Murmuring] {140751}{140838}You stupid son of a bitch!|You taped our conversation? {140840}{140904}They are makin' 'em|kinda small nowadays. {140905}{140958}You bastard!|You two bastards! {140960}{141013}You think you're gonna|hang me out to dry? Bullshit! {141015}{141069}If I go down,|you go down, Dick Dodge! {141071}{141137}Say, do you remember that little|$300,000 you squeezed outta me... {141139}{141197}for your voter|registration scam, huh? {141198}{141250}What the hell was that?|Just water under the bridge. {141252}{141316}What about the $200,000|for your phony foundation? {141317}{141381}- Or the bundled checks|my executive put in your pocket?|- Okay, now. {141383}{141456}- Olaf.|- No, no, I trusted you, Dick.|I gave you my condo in Vail. {141457}{141530}- I gave you my corporate jet|to fly all over the...|- All right... {141532}{141640}I bought 10,000 copies of your boring,|dull-ass autobiography! {141641}{141709}I put up scholarships|to send your kids through college. {141711}{141818}I even hired your goddamn color-blind|wife to redecorate my office. {141820}{141879}- Olaf! Jesus! Sit down!|- What are you doin'? {141881}{141971}- I'm tryin' to tell you, I didn't have|a goddamn thing to do with this!|- You shittin' me? {141973}{142060}No, no, no, no!|Think! Think! {142062}{142111}I know you got me|by the short and curlies. {142113}{142187}What the hell would I have|to gain by sellin' you out? {142189}{142260}I had no idea that slime bag|was tapin' us. {142261}{142341}Excuse me. Dick? {142343}{142393}Lighten up on the slime bag,|huh? {142486}{142540}What's your game, Thomas?|Shakedown? {142541}{142642}Yeah, it's a shakedown.|All right? {142644}{142698}And unless you|wanna see this... {142700}{142777}all over CNN,|you're gonna pay my price. {142778}{142826}First, I want you|to call Skeeter Warburton. {142828}{142882}I want you to tell him to launch|an investigation on power lines. {142884}{142934}- Wha...|- Ah! There's more. {142936}{142993}I want you to resign. You can|tell people it's for health reasons. {142995}{143047}Most of us will believe that 'cause|we've seen you in the steam room. {143090}{143143}Why the hell are you doin' this? {143145}{143241}I am doing this for Mickey Juba|and I'm doin' this for Celia Kirby|and I'm doin' this... {143243}{143325}for my grandmother|and about a million other people|you wouldn't give a shit about. {143327}{143382}Who? {143384}{143481}- Do we have a deal or not?|- Well, I guess that... {143483}{143587}depends entirely on what's|on that tape, doesn't it? {143589}{143648}You know what's on this tape.|This is America's sleaziest home video. {143650}{143722}Fuck that. Let's see what you|really got on that tape. {143724}{143777}- This is just a copy!|- Give me that! {143779}{143852}Yo, man, it's just a copy. {143923}{144025}[Loretta As Inga]|Maria, my hot-blooded Spanish friend. {144027}{144131}Babette, zee Parisian pussycat,|and many others. {144133}{144201}- So call the Girls of Many Nations.|- It's a bluff. {144203}{144256}- At 1-900-555...|- It's a stinking, cheap-ass bluff. {144257}{144350}[TV]|NATO. {144352}{144422}But the question is, can we get|the shit back into the horse? {144424}{144537}Why not? He never made|any specific charges. {144539}{144588}So what do we do when|we go back in the hearing? {144590}{144677}Leave that to me. You just walk|back in there lookin' dignified. {144679}{144751}- Dignified.|- And you! {144799}{144896}You better be very, very quiet|in there, my friend. {144897}{145022}I got the goods on you,|and it would be my pleasure to|leave tire marks all over you. {145024}{145100}- Oh, like you did Hawkins?|- Oh, not even close. {145102}{145195}So unless you wanna spend|the next 20 years in prison, {145197}{145247}you keep your mouth shut. {145249}{145340}Now, do we understand|each other here? {145342}{145389}Yeah, we understand|each other. {145390}{145460}Huh? {145461}{145556}All right, let's do it. {145746}{145795}[Man] All right, folks,|step back, please. Come on. {145797}{145844}Clear the hallway now.|Give 'em some room. {145846}{145905}[Indistinct Shouting] {145907}{145997}Chairman Dodge! {145999}{146049}Get that thing outta my face! {146051}{146105}What is on that tape? {146107}{146209}[Indistinct Shouting] {146235}{146288}- Come on, let's go in there!|- Go! {146350}{146414}By the way, Dick, I didn't|mean that about your wife. {146416}{146486}I think she's great. {146642}{146698}Thank you, Kimberly. {146789}{146844}These hearings|are now reconvened. {146846}{146967}- Without going into details,|- No problem, no problem. {146969}{147025}I would like to make|a comment on the... {147027}{147097}unfortunate incident|that we all just witnessed. {147098}{147195}Now, this body...|Well, indeed our whole... {147197}{147247}system of government|is imperfect. {147249}{147334}It's imperfect because|it depends on people. {147336}{147421}Human beings who make mistakes,|act in haste, {147423}{147472}misinterpret things... {147474}{147547}Yeah, and do things like buy|10,000 copies of your autobiography. {147549}{147627}Which by the way is not a crime,|unless you make people read it. {147629}{147719}- Damn it, sir, you are out of order.|- [Crowd Laughing] {147721}{147789}Hey, hey, hey!|Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! {147790}{147861}To hell with order. The truth is gonna|come out here today, all right? {147863}{147947}All right!|You want the truth? {147949}{148013}Here's the truth, Congressman. {148015}{148076}The man you see before you|is nothing but a common criminal. {148078}{148175}He got into this House|through fraud! Now! {148177}{148275}You want more truth, Congressman?|Here's your rap sheet. {148277}{148345}Arrest for bookmaking,|cardsharping, {148346}{148431}con games, mail fraud. {148433}{148555}You know, I had hoped to avoid|damaging this noble institution. {148557}{148681}But I can see that you have|no respect for this institution|or for anything else. {148683}{148789}There!|I dare you to respond. {149010}{149063}[Crowd Murmuring] {149209}{149296}Yeah, this is me.|Can't deny it. {149298}{149357}Can't deny anything on here.|I did all of this. {149358}{149435}Except for this thing. This woman|got her shoes back. This woman here. {149437}{149544}But everything else on this list|is real. I did it, don't deny it. {149545}{149613}But all of this is nothing... {149614}{149684}compared to the shit I pulled off|right here in Washington. {149686}{149809}And everything I did in this town|would be considered legit. {149811}{149921}Now that is enough!|Have you no shame, Mr. Johnson? {149923}{150041}Do you deny that just five minutes ago|you attempted to impugn the integrity... {150042}{150114}- Of this committee...|- [Andersen On TV]|You son-of-a-bitch! {150116}{150180}- You taped our conversation!|- From a highly-respected... {150181}{150255}You two bastards!|You think you can hang me out to dry? {150257}{150326}[Andersen On TV] Bullshit!|If I go down, you go down, Dick Dodge! {150328}{150417}Hey, you remember that $300,000|you squeezed outta me... {150419}{150502}for that phony voter|registration scam, huh? {150504}{150575}What about the $200,000|for that phony foundation, huh? {150577}{150659}Or those bundle of checks|my executive put in your pocket. {150661}{150715}- Olaf! Look!|- I trusted you! I trusted you! {150717}{150825}I gave you my condo in Vail.|I let you fly my corporate jet. {150827}{150918}No, I even bought 10,000 copies of|your boring, dull-ass autobiography. {150920}{150996}- Olaf! Sit down!|I'm tryin' to tell ya somethin'.|- What? What? {150997}{151057}I didn't have a goddamn thing|to do with this! {151059}{151108}- Bullshit!|- Olaf! Think! {151109}{151192}- Order! Order!|- You... {151193}{151273}Clear the room!|Clear the goddamn room! {151275}{151369}I want order!|I will have order! {151371}{151475}Come on, let's hear it|for ex-chairman Dodge! {151477}{151534}- Come on! Put your hands together!|- Yes! {151536}{151595}Let's hear it|for the retiring chairman! {151597}{151659}You can do much better than that!|This man is going to jail. {151661}{151735}Give him a big round|of applause! Come on! {151737}{151839}[Man]|Go write a new book! {151841}{151900}- Hey! Hey!|- Thomas! {151902}{151967}Thomas! What the hell are you doing?|We're all gonna go to jail! {151969}{152063}You son of a bitch! {152065}{152112}Look what you did to your man.|Look what you did! {152114}{152211}Hey! Hey! Hey! Yeah, you almost|got your ass whipped just then. {152213}{152287}[Shouting] {152336}{152372}Hold him really tight, hold him.|I want to get some good pictures|while he's got color in his cheeks. {152373}{152506}Huh! Now, smile for the cameras, Dick.|How am I doin', huh? {152508}{152572}- That's it.|- Thank you.|- Smile, please. {152574}{152621}[Cameras Clicking] {152810}{152873}So how does it feel|being a national hero? {152875}{152934}Terrible. Everybody|knows my face now. {152936}{152988}I'm finished in the line|of business I was in. {152990}{153076}Can't exactly go into 7-Eleven|and pass bad checks anymore, you know. {153077}{153145}- So what are you gonna do?|- Well, I got a full head of hair. {153146}{153200}- Uh-huh.|- A famous face|and pretty good bullshit. {153201}{153288}- There's only one thing I can do.|- Congress is gonna throw you out. {153290}{153360}Yeah, but I'm gonna run|for president. {153840}{153893}[Giddy Chuckle]108140