All language subtitles for Saturday.Night.Live.S48E17.WEB.x264-TORRENTGALAXY_Track03

.
>>> EASTER, THE CELEBRATION OF
THE RESURRECTED CHRIST.

>>> EASTER, THE CELEBRATION OF
THE RESURRECTED CHRIST.
THE BIBLE TELLS US JESUS

THE RESURRECTED CHRIST.
THE BIBLE TELLS US JESUS
TRAVELED TO JERUSALEM FOR

THE BIBLE TELLS US JESUS
TRAVELED TO JERUSALEM FOR
PASSOVER WHERE HIS MESSAGE OF

TRAVELED TO JERUSALEM FOR
PASSOVER WHERE HIS MESSAGE OF
PEACE AND LOVE ENRAGED THE

PASSOVER WHERE HIS MESSAGE OF
PEACE AND LOVE ENRAGED THE
AUTHORITIES.

PEACE AND LOVE ENRAGED THE
AUTHORITIES.
IN THE COMING DAYS, HE WILL BE

AUTHORITIES.
IN THE COMING DAYS, HE WILL BE
ARRESTED, TRIED, AND EXECUTED.

IN THE COMING DAYS, HE WILL BE
ARRESTED, TRIED, AND EXECUTED.
THIS HE TELLS HIS DISCIPLES ON

ARRESTED, TRIED, AND EXECUTED.
THIS HE TELLS HIS DISCIPLES ON
THEIR FINAL EVENING TOGETHER, A

THIS HE TELLS HIS DISCIPLES ON
THEIR FINAL EVENING TOGETHER, A
MILLION WILL COME TO CALL.

THEIR FINAL EVENING TOGETHER, A
MILLION WILL COME TO CALL.
THE LAST SUPPER.

MILLION WILL COME TO CALL.
THE LAST SUPPER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THE LAST SUPPER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MY FRIENDS, AND JUDAS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MY FRIENDS, AND JUDAS.
HEAR ME NOW FOR SOON I WILL

>> MY FRIENDS, AND JUDAS.
HEAR ME NOW FOR SOON I WILL
LEAVE YOU AND JOIN MY FATHER IN

HEAR ME NOW FOR SOON I WILL
LEAVE YOU AND JOIN MY FATHER IN
HEAVEN.

LEAVE YOU AND JOIN MY FATHER IN
HEAVEN.
>> WE CANNOT LOSE YOU, JESUS.

HEAVEN.
>> WE CANNOT LOSE YOU, JESUS.
WE WILL PROTECT YOU.

>> WE CANNOT LOSE YOU, JESUS.
WE WILL PROTECT YOU.
>> TLL NEVYO>> ALAS, ONE OF YOU

WE WILL PROTECT YOU.
>> TLL NEVYO>> ALAS, ONE OF YOU
ME.

>> TLL NEVYO>> ALAS, ONE OF YOU
ME.
>> NO.

ME.
>> NO.
>> WHAT?

>> NO.
>> WHAT?
>> IT IS FORETOLD, AND THOUGH I

>> WHAT?
>> IT IS FORETOLD, AND THOUGH I
HAVE COMMITTED NO CRIME, I WILL

>> IT IS FORETOLD, AND THOUGH I
HAVE COMMITTED NO CRIME, I WILL
BE ARRESTED, TRIED, AND FOUND

HAVE COMMITTED NO CRIME, I WILL
BE ARRESTED, TRIED, AND FOUND
GUILTY.

BE ARRESTED, TRIED, AND FOUND
GUILTY.
>> SOUND FAMILIAR?

GUILTY.
>> SOUND FAMILIAR?
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> SOUND FAMILIAR?
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
A FAMOUS, WONDERFUL MAN ARRESTED

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
A FAMOUS, WONDERFUL MAN ARRESTED
FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

A FAMOUS, WONDERFUL MAN ARRESTED
FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
IF YOU HAVEN'T PUT IT TOGETHER,

FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
IF YOU HAVEN'T PUT IT TOGETHER,
FOLKS, I'M COMPARING MYSELF TO

IF YOU HAVEN'T PUT IT TOGETHER,
FOLKS, I'M COMPARING MYSELF TO
JESUS AGAIN.

FOLKS, I'M COMPARING MYSELF TO
JESUS AGAIN.
AND WHAT BETTER TIME THAN ON HIS

JESUS AGAIN.
AND WHAT BETTER TIME THAN ON HIS
BIRTHDAY, EASTER?

AND WHAT BETTER TIME THAN ON HIS
BIRTHDAY, EASTER?
AS WE SPEAK, I AM BEING

BIRTHDAY, EASTER?
AS WE SPEAK, I AM BEING
PERSECUTED ON A LEVEL THE LIKES

AS WE SPEAK, I AM BEING
PERSECUTED ON A LEVEL THE LIKES
OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER

PERSECUTED ON A LEVEL THE LIKES
OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER
SEEN, EVEN WORSE THAN THE LATE,

OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER
SEEN, EVEN WORSE THAN THE LATE,
GREAT JESUS.

SEEN, EVEN WORSE THAN THE LATE,
GREAT JESUS.
YOU KNOW, MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING

GREAT JESUS.
YOU KNOW, MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING
WE'RE VERY SIMILAR.

YOU KNOW, MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING
WE'RE VERY SIMILAR.
WE'RE BOTH VERY TALL, VERY

WE'RE VERY SIMILAR.
WE'RE BOTH VERY TALL, VERY
POPULAR, AND BOTH FRANKLY WHITE

WE'RE BOTH VERY TALL, VERY
POPULAR, AND BOTH FRANKLY WHITE
AMERICANS.

POPULAR, AND BOTH FRANKLY WHITE
AMERICANS.
YOU KNOW, JESUS DID SOME

AMERICANS.
YOU KNOW, JESUS DID SOME
INCREDIBLE THINGS.

YOU KNOW, JESUS DID SOME
INCREDIBLE THINGS.
SOME WOULD CALL THEM MIRACLES.

INCREDIBLE THINGS.
SOME WOULD CALL THEM MIRACLES.
IN TERMS OF FISH AND WITH REGARD

SOME WOULD CALL THEM MIRACLES.
IN TERMS OF FISH AND WITH REGARD
TO BREAD.

IN TERMS OF FISH AND WITH REGARD
TO BREAD.
FISH AND BREAD.

TO BREAD.
FISH AND BREAD.
HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD ON THE

FISH AND BREAD.
HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD ON THE
THIRD DAY.

HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD ON THE
THIRD DAY.
I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FASTER,

THIRD DAY.
I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FASTER,
POSSIBLY TWO DAYS.

I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FASTER,
POSSIBLY TWO DAYS.
I THINK WE COULD HAVE DONE IT A

POSSIBLY TWO DAYS.
I THINK WE COULD HAVE DONE IT A
LOT FASTER.

I THINK WE COULD HAVE DONE IT A
LOT FASTER.
HE HAD A GOOD MIND FOR BUSINESS.

LOT FASTER.
HE HAD A GOOD MIND FOR BUSINESS.
WATER INTO WINE.

HE HAD A GOOD MIND FOR BUSINESS.
WATER INTO WINE.
PURE PROFIT.

WATER INTO WINE.
PURE PROFIT.
AND HE HAD BIG, BIG RALLIES JUST

PURE PROFIT.
AND HE HAD BIG, BIG RALLIES JUST
LIKE ME, AND A LOT OF HIS

AND HE HAD BIG, BIG RALLIES JUST
LIKE ME, AND A LOT OF HIS
FOLLOWERS GOT IN BIG, BIG

LIKE ME, AND A LOT OF HIS
FOLLOWERS GOT IN BIG, BIG
TROUBLE, JUST LIKE MINE.

FOLLOWERS GOT IN BIG, BIG
TROUBLE, JUST LIKE MINE.
ALL BECAUSE I TOLD THEM EXACTLY

TROUBLE, JUST LIKE MINE.
ALL BECAUSE I TOLD THEM EXACTLY
WHAT JESUS WOULD HAVE SAID, GET

ALL BECAUSE I TOLD THEM EXACTLY
WHAT JESUS WOULD HAVE SAID, GET
VERY VIOLENT AND START A WAR.

WHAT JESUS WOULD HAVE SAID, GET
VERY VIOLENT AND START A WAR.
AND I'VE EVEN GOT MY VERY OWN

VERY VIOLENT AND START A WAR.
AND I'VE EVEN GOT MY VERY OWN
JUDAS, RAN DeSANTIS.

AND I'VE EVEN GOT MY VERY OWN
JUDAS, RAN DeSANTIS.
RON DeSANTIS CAME TO ME, TEARS

JUDAS, RAN DeSANTIS.
RON DeSANTIS CAME TO ME, TEARS
IN HIS EYES, HE SAID, HELP ME,

RON DeSANTIS CAME TO ME, TEARS
IN HIS EYES, HE SAID, HELP ME,
MR. TRUMP.

IN HIS EYES, HE SAID, HELP ME,
MR. TRUMP.
I'M GOING TO LOSE MY ELECTION.

MR. TRUMP.
I'M GOING TO LOSE MY ELECTION.
SO I VERY GENEROUSLY PRETENDED

I'M GOING TO LOSE MY ELECTION.
SO I VERY GENEROUSLY PRETENDED
TO LIKE HIM, AND THEN, HE DID A

SO I VERY GENEROUSLY PRETENDED
TO LIKE HIM, AND THEN, HE DID A
JUDAS.

TO LIKE HIM, AND THEN, HE DID A
JUDAS.
AND NOW HE CAN'T EVEN GET THE

JUDAS.
AND NOW HE CAN'T EVEN GET THE
GAYS OUT OF DISNEY WORLD.

AND NOW HE CAN'T EVEN GET THE
GAYS OUT OF DISNEY WORLD.
LOOK AT THESE GUYS BACK HERE,

GAYS OUT OF DISNEY WORLD.
LOOK AT THESE GUYS BACK HERE,
HUH?

LOOK AT THESE GUYS BACK HERE,
HUH?
THEY JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE

HUH?
THEY JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE
FROZEN WHILE I TALK.

THEY JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE
FROZEN WHILE I TALK.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

FROZEN WHILE I TALK.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
MR. JESUS, QUITE A GUY.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
MR. JESUS, QUITE A GUY.
BUT NOW PEOPLE ARE SAYING

MR. JESUS, QUITE A GUY.
BUT NOW PEOPLE ARE SAYING
PERHAPS I'M EVEN BETTER THAN

BUT NOW PEOPLE ARE SAYING
PERHAPS I'M EVEN BETTER THAN
JESUS BECAUSE I'M A SELF-MADE

PERHAPS I'M EVEN BETTER THAN
JESUS BECAUSE I'M A SELF-MADE
BILLIONAIRE, AND CHRIST WAS --

JESUS BECAUSE I'M A SELF-MADE
BILLIONAIRE, AND CHRIST WAS --
LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS -- A

BILLIONAIRE, AND CHRIST WAS --
LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS -- A
NEPO BABY.

LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS -- A
NEPO BABY.
OKAY?

NEPO BABY.
OKAY?
I MEAN, HIS DAD WAS GOD.

OKAY?
I MEAN, HIS DAD WAS GOD.
IT'S PRETTY EASY TO START A

I MEAN, HIS DAD WAS GOD.
IT'S PRETTY EASY TO START A
RELIGION WHEN YOUR DAD IS GOD.

IT'S PRETTY EASY TO START A
RELIGION WHEN YOUR DAD IS GOD.
HE DID GOOD FRIDAY.

RELIGION WHEN YOUR DAD IS GOD.
HE DID GOOD FRIDAY.
I SAID, WHY NOT MAKE IT GREAT?

HE DID GOOD FRIDAY.
I SAID, WHY NOT MAKE IT GREAT?
WE CAN MAKE IT GREAT.

I SAID, WHY NOT MAKE IT GREAT?
WE CAN MAKE IT GREAT.
WITH ME, WE'LL BE DOING GREAT

WE CAN MAKE IT GREAT.
WITH ME, WE'LL BE DOING GREAT
FRIDAY, PERHAPS EVEN TGI-FRIDAYS

WITH ME, WE'LL BE DOING GREAT
FRIDAY, PERHAPS EVEN TGI-FRIDAYS
WITH THE STUFF ON THE WALLS AND

FRIDAY, PERHAPS EVEN TGI-FRIDAYS
WITH THE STUFF ON THE WALLS AND
EVERYTHING.

WITH THE STUFF ON THE WALLS AND
EVERYTHING.
BUT WE LOVE EASTER, WE LOVE

EVERYTHING.
BUT WE LOVE EASTER, WE LOVE
HIDING THE EGG.

BUT WE LOVE EASTER, WE LOVE
HIDING THE EGG.
DON'T WE, FOLKS?

HIDING THE EGG.
DON'T WE, FOLKS?
WE LOVE HIDING THE LITTLE EGGS.

DON'T WE, FOLKS?
WE LOVE HIDING THE LITTLE EGGS.
YOU KNOW I HAVE MANY BEAUTIFUL

WE LOVE HIDING THE LITTLE EGGS.
YOU KNOW I HAVE MANY BEAUTIFUL
EGGS FROM MY TIME AT THE WHITE

YOU KNOW I HAVE MANY BEAUTIFUL
EGGS FROM MY TIME AT THE WHITE
HOUSE, AND NOW THE DEPARTMENT OF

EGGS FROM MY TIME AT THE WHITE
HOUSE, AND NOW THE DEPARTMENT OF
JUSTICE ARE SAYING, WHERE ARE

HOUSE, AND NOW THE DEPARTMENT OF
JUSTICE ARE SAYING, WHERE ARE
THE EGGS?

JUSTICE ARE SAYING, WHERE ARE
THE EGGS?
WE NEED THE EGGS BACK.

THE EGGS?
WE NEED THE EGGS BACK.
BUT I HID THEM.

WE NEED THE EGGS BACK.
BUT I HID THEM.
THEY'RE MY EGGS TO TAKE, OKAY?

BUT I HID THEM.
THEY'RE MY EGGS TO TAKE, OKAY?
SO TOMORROW, I WILL EAT MY

THEY'RE MY EGGS TO TAKE, OKAY?
SO TOMORROW, I WILL EAT MY
EASTER HAMBURGER WITH MY FAMILY,

SO TOMORROW, I WILL EAT MY
EASTER HAMBURGER WITH MY FAMILY,
OR HOPEFULLY NOT.

EASTER HAMBURGER WITH MY FAMILY,
OR HOPEFULLY NOT.
AND THEN AFTER THAT, THEY WILL

OR HOPEFULLY NOT.
AND THEN AFTER THAT, THEY WILL
COME FOR ME, LOCK ME AWAY.

AND THEN AFTER THAT, THEY WILL
COME FOR ME, LOCK ME AWAY.
BECAUSE JUST LIKE JESUS, ALL I

COME FOR ME, LOCK ME AWAY.
BECAUSE JUST LIKE JESUS, ALL I
DID WAS BE FRIENDLY TO A SEX

BECAUSE JUST LIKE JESUS, ALL I
DID WAS BE FRIENDLY TO A SEX
WORKER, AND NOW THEY WANT TO PUT

DID WAS BE FRIENDLY TO A SEX
WORKER, AND NOW THEY WANT TO PUT
ME IN JAIL.

WORKER, AND NOW THEY WANT TO PUT
ME IN JAIL.
JUST AWFUL.

ME IN JAIL.
JUST AWFUL.
BUT WHO KNOWS, FOLKS, MAYBE

JUST AWFUL.
BUT WHO KNOWS, FOLKS, MAYBE
PRISON WILL MAKE ME EVEN MORE

BUT WHO KNOWS, FOLKS, MAYBE
PRISON WILL MAKE ME EVEN MORE
POPULAR.

PRISON WILL MAKE ME EVEN MORE
POPULAR.
LIKE THAT GUY BACK THERE, JESUS

POPULAR.
LIKE THAT GUY BACK THERE, JESUS
OF ASKABAN, THAT GUY.

LIKE THAT GUY BACK THERE, JESUS
OF ASKABAN, THAT GUY.
JESUS OF ASKABAN, HE'S CALLED.

OF ASKABAN, THAT GUY.
JESUS OF ASKABAN, HE'S CALLED.
AND THAT IS THE STORY OF EASTER.

JESUS OF ASKABAN, HE'S CALLED.
AND THAT IS THE STORY OF EASTER.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS.

AND THAT IS THE STORY OF EASTER.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS.
LOOK AT THE FINGERS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS.
LOOK AT THE FINGERS.
DIDN'T STOP DOING THE FINGERS

LOOK AT THE FINGERS.
DIDN'T STOP DOING THE FINGERS
THE WHOLE TIME.

DIDN'T STOP DOING THE FINGERS
THE WHOLE TIME.
WEIRD CHOICE WITH THE FINGERS.

THE WHOLE TIME.
WEIRD CHOICE WITH THE FINGERS.
LOOK AT JESUS.

WEIRD CHOICE WITH THE FINGERS.
LOOK AT JESUS.
SO HAPPY HANUKKAH TO ALL THE

LOOK AT JESUS.
SO HAPPY HANUKKAH TO ALL THE
PASSOVERS, AND ALL THE RAMADANS

SO HAPPY HANUKKAH TO ALL THE
PASSOVERS, AND ALL THE RAMADANS
DO.

PASSOVERS, AND ALL THE RAMADANS
DO.
WE LOVE TO SAY RAMADAN.

DO.
WE LOVE TO SAY RAMADAN.
BUT MOSTLY HAPPY EASTER BECAUSE

WE LOVE TO SAY RAMADAN.
BUT MOSTLY HAPPY EASTER BECAUSE
WE LIKE JESUS, RIGHT?

BUT MOSTLY HAPPY EASTER BECAUSE
WE LIKE JESUS, RIGHT?
STILL FROZEN WITH THE LITTLE

WE LIKE JESUS, RIGHT?
STILL FROZEN WITH THE LITTLE
HANDS.

STILL FROZEN WITH THE LITTLE
HANDS.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO GET TO

HANDS.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO GET TO
SAY THE BIG LINE.

THEY'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO GET TO
SAY THE BIG LINE.
MAYBE IF YOU BREAK A BIG

SAY THE BIG LINE.
MAYBE IF YOU BREAK A BIG
POLITICAL CHARACTER, YOU CAN SAY

MAYBE IF YOU BREAK A BIG
POLITICAL CHARACTER, YOU CAN SAY
THE BIG LINE.

POLITICAL CHARACTER, YOU CAN SAY
THE BIG LINE.
I'M GOING TO DO IT BY MYSELF

THE BIG LINE.
I'M GOING TO DO IT BY MYSELF
RIGHT NOW.

I'M GOING TO DO IT BY MYSELF
RIGHT NOW.
SO HAPPY EASTER AND LIVE FROM

RIGHT NOW.
SO HAPPY EASTER AND LIVE FROM
NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

SO HAPPY EASTER AND LIVE FROM
NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!
>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY

NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!
>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE" WITH --

FEATURING --

MUSICAL GUEST, JONAS BROTHERS.
AND YOUR HOST, MOLLY SHANNON.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MOLLY

AND YOUR HOST, MOLLY SHANNON.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MOLLY
SHANNON!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MOLLY
SHANNON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SHANNON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,

>>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OH, MY GOD.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK.

OH, MY GOD.
IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK.
I'VE HAD SUCH A FUN YEAR.

IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK.
I'VE HAD SUCH A FUN YEAR.
MY DAUGHTER STELLA STARTED

I'VE HAD SUCH A FUN YEAR.
MY DAUGHTER STELLA STARTED
COLLEGE.

MY DAUGHTER STELLA STARTED
COLLEGE.
MY SON NOLAN'S ABOUT TO GRADUATE

COLLEGE.
MY SON NOLAN'S ABOUT TO GRADUATE
HIGH SCHOOL.

MY SON NOLAN'S ABOUT TO GRADUATE
HIGH SCHOOL.
AND I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE

HIGH SCHOOL.
AND I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE
CALLED "HELLO MOLLY."

AND I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE
CALLED "HELLO MOLLY."
AND YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING

CALLED "HELLO MOLLY."
AND YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING
BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE

AND YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING
BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE
SURPRISED BY HOW HONEST I WAS

BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE
SURPRISED BY HOW HONEST I WAS
ABOUT SOME OF THE HARD TIMES MY

SURPRISED BY HOW HONEST I WAS
ABOUT SOME OF THE HARD TIMES MY
FAMILY HAD.

ABOUT SOME OF THE HARD TIMES MY
FAMILY HAD.
I MEAN, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS,

FAMILY HAD.
I MEAN, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS,
RIGHT?

I MEAN, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS,
RIGHT?
BUT MY DAD ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO

RIGHT?
BUT MY DAD ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO
KEEP MY CHIN UP AND NEVER GIVE

BUT MY DAD ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO
KEEP MY CHIN UP AND NEVER GIVE
UP ON MY SHOW BIZ DREAMS.

KEEP MY CHIN UP AND NEVER GIVE
UP ON MY SHOW BIZ DREAMS.
HE WOULD PLAY ME OLD CLASSIC

UP ON MY SHOW BIZ DREAMS.
HE WOULD PLAY ME OLD CLASSIC
MUSICALS AND HE WOULD TELL ME,

HE WOULD PLAY ME OLD CLASSIC
MUSICALS AND HE WOULD TELL ME,
YOU KNOW, MOLLY, NO MATTER WHAT

MUSICALS AND HE WOULD TELL ME,
YOU KNOW, MOLLY, NO MATTER WHAT
PROBLEMS YOU FACE, IF YOU KEEP A

YOU KNOW, MOLLY, NO MATTER WHAT
PROBLEMS YOU FACE, IF YOU KEEP A
POSITIVE ATTITUDE, EVERYTHING

PROBLEMS YOU FACE, IF YOU KEEP A
POSITIVE ATTITUDE, EVERYTHING
WILL TURN OUT OKAY.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE, EVERYTHING
WILL TURN OUT OKAY.
I CAN ALMOST HEAR HIM NOW

WILL TURN OUT OKAY.
I CAN ALMOST HEAR HIM NOW
SAYING --

I CAN ALMOST HEAR HIM NOW
SAYING --
♪ YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE

SAYING --
♪ YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE
GREAT, GONNA HAVE THE WHOLE

♪ YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE
GREAT, GONNA HAVE THE WHOLE
WORLD ON A PLATE ♪

GREAT, GONNA HAVE THE WHOLE
WORLD ON A PLATE ♪
♪ STARTING HERE, STARTING NOW,

WORLD ON A PLATE ♪
♪ STARTING HERE, STARTING NOW,
HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP

♪ STARTING HERE, STARTING NOW,
HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES ♪

HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES ♪
♪ CURTAIN UP, LIGHT THE LIGHTS,

ROSES ♪
♪ CURTAIN UP, LIGHT THE LIGHTS,
YOU GOT NOTHING TO HIT BUT THE

♪ CURTAIN UP, LIGHT THE LIGHTS,
YOU GOT NOTHING TO HIT BUT THE
HEIGHT ♪

YOU GOT NOTHING TO HIT BUT THE
HEIGHT ♪
>> MOLLY, SORRY TO CRASH YOUR

HEIGHT ♪
>> MOLLY, SORRY TO CRASH YOUR
MONOLOGUE, BUT I KNOW EXACTLY

>> MOLLY, SORRY TO CRASH YOUR
MONOLOGUE, BUT I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU MEAN.

MONOLOGUE, BUT I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU MEAN.
I'VE GOT PROBLEMS TOO.

WHAT YOU MEAN.
I'VE GOT PROBLEMS TOO.
>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

I'VE GOT PROBLEMS TOO.
>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> WELL, I'M NOT REALLY IN THE

>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> WELL, I'M NOT REALLY IN THE
SHOW TONIGHT, SO I'M

>> WELL, I'M NOT REALLY IN THE
SHOW TONIGHT, SO I'M
INTERRUPTING YOUR SONG TO GET

SHOW TONIGHT, SO I'M
INTERRUPTING YOUR SONG TO GET
SOME MORE CAMERA TIME.

INTERRUPTING YOUR SONG TO GET
SOME MORE CAMERA TIME.
CAN I STAY?

SOME MORE CAMERA TIME.
CAN I STAY?
>> NO.

CAN I STAY?
>> NO.
♪ BLOW A KISS, TAKE A BOW,

>> NO.
♪ BLOW A KISS, TAKE A BOW,
HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP

♪ BLOW A KISS, TAKE A BOW,
HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES ♪

HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES ♪
KENAN, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

ROSES ♪
KENAN, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

KENAN, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I CAN'T STOP BUYING FAKE

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I CAN'T STOP BUYING FAKE
ROLEXES.

>> I CAN'T STOP BUYING FAKE
ROLEXES.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

ROLEXES.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

>> WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I STILL DRESS LIKE A LITTLE

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I STILL DRESS LIKE A LITTLE
BOY.

>> I STILL DRESS LIKE A LITTLE
BOY.
>> I PRETEND TO HAVE A PEANUT

BOY.
>> I PRETEND TO HAVE A PEANUT
ALLERGY FOR ATTENTION.

>> I PRETEND TO HAVE A PEANUT
ALLERGY FOR ATTENTION.
>> I'M ATTRACTED TO MY

ALLERGY FOR ATTENTION.
>> I'M ATTRACTED TO MY
THERAPIST.

>> I'M ATTRACTED TO MY
THERAPIST.
>> I JUST TESTED POSITIVE FOR

THERAPIST.
>> I JUST TESTED POSITIVE FOR
COVID.

>> I JUST TESTED POSITIVE FOR
COVID.
>> WAIT, WHAT?

COVID.
>> WAIT, WHAT?
♪ HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP

>> WAIT, WHAT?
♪ HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES ♪

♪ HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES ♪
>> HOW ABOUT YOU, THE AUDIENCE?

ROSES ♪
>> HOW ABOUT YOU, THE AUDIENCE?
WHO HERE IS EMBARRASSED BY HOW

>> HOW ABOUT YOU, THE AUDIENCE?
WHO HERE IS EMBARRASSED BY HOW
OFTEN THEY CHECK INSTAGRAM?

WHO HERE IS EMBARRASSED BY HOW
OFTEN THEY CHECK INSTAGRAM?
WHO'S IN AN UNHEALTHY

OFTEN THEY CHECK INSTAGRAM?
WHO'S IN AN UNHEALTHY
CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP?

WHO'S IN AN UNHEALTHY
CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP?
OH, WE GOT A FEW.

CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP?
OH, WE GOT A FEW.
WHO LOST THEIR JOB DURING THE

OH, WE GOT A FEW.
WHO LOST THEIR JOB DURING THE
PANDEMIC AND SECRETLY HOPES THAT

WHO LOST THEIR JOB DURING THE
PANDEMIC AND SECRETLY HOPES THAT
OTHER PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING TOO?

PANDEMIC AND SECRETLY HOPES THAT
OTHER PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING TOO?
WHAT ABOUT YOU, LAUREN, WHAT'S

OTHER PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING TOO?
WHAT ABOUT YOU, LAUREN, WHAT'S
YOUR PROBLEM?

WHAT ABOUT YOU, LAUREN, WHAT'S
YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.

YOUR PROBLEM?
>> I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU, MARTIN SHORT?

>> I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU, MARTIN SHORT?
>> I RAN OUT OF OZEMPIC!

>> WHAT ABOUT YOU, MARTIN SHORT?
>> I RAN OUT OF OZEMPIC!
>> ERYONE, COME UP HERE.

>> I RAN OUT OF OZEMPIC!
>> ERYONE, COME UP HERE.
COME ON.

>> ERYONE, COME UP HERE.
COME ON.
PUT AWAY YOUR PROBLEMS AND STOP

COME ON.
PUT AWAY YOUR PROBLEMS AND STOP
WORRYING.

PUT AWAY YOUR PROBLEMS AND STOP
WORRYING.
YOU KNOW WHY?

WORRYING.
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE --

YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE --
♪ YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE

BECAUSE --
♪ YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE
GREAT, I CAN TELL, JUST YOU

♪ YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE
GREAT, I CAN TELL, JUST YOU
WAIT ♪

GREAT, I CAN TELL, JUST YOU
WAIT ♪
♪ AND NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US

WAIT ♪
♪ AND NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US
TILL WE'RE THROUGH ♪

♪ AND NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US
TILL WE'RE THROUGH ♪
♪ HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP

TILL WE'RE THROUGH ♪
♪ HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES AND DAFFODILS ♪

♪ HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES AND DAFFODILS ♪
♪ EVERYTHING'S COMING UP

ROSES AND DAFFODILS ♪
♪ EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
SUNSHINE AND SANTA CLAUS,

♪ EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
SUNSHINE AND SANTA CLAUS,
EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES FOR

SUNSHINE AND SANTA CLAUS,
EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES FOR
ME AND FOR YOU ♪

EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES FOR
ME AND FOR YOU ♪
>> THANK YOU, DADDY.

ME AND FOR YOU ♪
>> THANK YOU, DADDY.
SUPERSTAR!

>> THANK YOU, DADDY.
SUPERSTAR!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

SUPERSTAR!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
JONAS BROTHERS ARE HERE, SO

TONIGHT.
JONAS BROTHERS ARE HERE, SO

>>> HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME
TO YOUR FIRST DAY AT VINCENT'S
VALETS.

TO YOUR FIRST DAY AT VINCENT'S
VALETS.
NOW, BEING A VALET IS THE

VALETS.
NOW, BEING A VALET IS THE
HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.

NOW, BEING A VALET IS THE
HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.
FORGOT ABOUT BRAIN SURGERY.

HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.
FORGOT ABOUT BRAIN SURGERY.
IT'S THE SECOND HARDEST JOB IN

FORGOT ABOUT BRAIN SURGERY.
IT'S THE SECOND HARDEST JOB IN
THE WORLD.

IT'S THE SECOND HARDEST JOB IN
THE WORLD.
>> GOT IT.

THE WORLD.
>> GOT IT.
>> YES.

>> GOT IT.
>> YES.
>> TOTALLY.

>> YES.
>> TOTALLY.
>> OKAY.

>> TOTALLY.
>> OKAY.
NOW, I BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE CAN

>> OKAY.
NOW, I BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE CAN
BE A GREAT VALET, SO LONG AS YOU

NOW, I BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE CAN
BE A GREAT VALET, SO LONG AS YOU
FOLLOW THESE THREE SIMPLE RULES.

BE A GREAT VALET, SO LONG AS YOU
FOLLOW THESE THREE SIMPLE RULES.
LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL JOG.

FOLLOW THESE THREE SIMPLE RULES.
LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL JOG.
THIS IS THE CORNER STONE OF

LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL JOG.
THIS IS THE CORNER STONE OF
QUALITY VALET.

THIS IS THE CORNER STONE OF
QUALITY VALET.
ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.

QUALITY VALET.
ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
>> HERE YOU GO.

ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
>> HERE YOU GO.
>> OH, THANKS, LADIES.

>> HERE YOU GO.
>> OH, THANKS, LADIES.
HEY, YOU KNOW, YOUR SISTER'S

>> OH, THANKS, LADIES.
HEY, YOU KNOW, YOUR SISTER'S
QUITE THE LOOKER.

HEY, YOU KNOW, YOUR SISTER'S
QUITE THE LOOKER.
>> OH, YOU'RE BAD.

QUITE THE LOOKER.
>> OH, YOU'RE BAD.
>> Y'ALL ENJOY YOURSELF NOW.

>> OH, YOU'RE BAD.
>> Y'ALL ENJOY YOURSELF NOW.
>> THAT WAS NEAT.

>> Y'ALL ENJOY YOURSELF NOW.
>> THAT WAS NEAT.
>> THAT WAS THE LITTLEST JOG

>> THAT WAS NEAT.
>> THAT WAS THE LITTLEST JOG
I'VE EVER SEEN I THINK.

>> THAT WAS THE LITTLEST JOG
I'VE EVER SEEN I THINK.
>> THANK YOU.

I'VE EVER SEEN I THINK.
>> THANK YOU.
STEVEN, YOUR TURN.

>> THANK YOU.
STEVEN, YOUR TURN.
REMEMBER, LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL

STEVEN, YOUR TURN.
REMEMBER, LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL
JOG.

REMEMBER, LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL
JOG.
>> YES, SIR.

JOG.
>> YES, SIR.
HOWDY FOLKS.

>> YES, SIR.
HOWDY FOLKS.
>> IT'S A PORSCHE.

HOWDY FOLKS.
>> IT'S A PORSCHE.
>> OH, A PORSCHE.

>> IT'S A PORSCHE.
>> OH, A PORSCHE.
COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING?

>> OH, A PORSCHE.
COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING?
MY CONDOLENCES, MISS.

COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING?
MY CONDOLENCES, MISS.
SHE'S ALL, IS IT IN YET, AND

MY CONDOLENCES, MISS.
SHE'S ALL, IS IT IN YET, AND
YOU'RE ALL, I'M GIVING IT ALL

SHE'S ALL, IS IT IN YET, AND
YOU'RE ALL, I'M GIVING IT ALL
SHE'S GOT, CAPTAIN.

YOU'RE ALL, I'M GIVING IT ALL
SHE'S GOT, CAPTAIN.
Y'ALL ENJOY YOURSELF NOW.

SHE'S GOT, CAPTAIN.
Y'ALL ENJOY YOURSELF NOW.
>> NOPE.

Y'ALL ENJOY YOURSELF NOW.
>> NOPE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> NOPE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T EVEN SAY IT.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T EVEN SAY IT.
I GAVE HIM BACK HIS KEYS.

DON'T EVEN SAY IT.
I GAVE HIM BACK HIS KEYS.
I'M SO SORRY.

I GAVE HIM BACK HIS KEYS.
I'M SO SORRY.
>> THAT AND YOUR JOKE WAS ABOUT

I'M SO SORRY.
>> THAT AND YOUR JOKE WAS ABOUT
A CUSTOMER'S PENIS, AND YOU RAN

>> THAT AND YOUR JOKE WAS ABOUT
A CUSTOMER'S PENIS, AND YOU RAN
AWAY AT TOP SPEED.

A CUSTOMER'S PENIS, AND YOU RAN
AWAY AT TOP SPEED.
>> THAT WAS NOT CLOSE TO MY TOP

AWAY AT TOP SPEED.
>> THAT WAS NOT CLOSE TO MY TOP
SPEED, BUTTOCK.

>> THAT WAS NOT CLOSE TO MY TOP
SPEED, BUTTOCK.
>> JUST REMEMBER, KEEP IT LIL.

SPEED, BUTTOCK.
>> JUST REMEMBER, KEEP IT LIL.
YOU SEE, SEE HOW LIL THIS IS,

>> JUST REMEMBER, KEEP IT LIL.
YOU SEE, SEE HOW LIL THIS IS,
TOOK ME TEN YEARS TO GET THIS

YOU SEE, SEE HOW LIL THIS IS,
TOOK ME TEN YEARS TO GET THIS
LIL.

TOOK ME TEN YEARS TO GET THIS
LIL.
>> THAT IS LIL.

LIL.
>> THAT IS LIL.
>> OKAY, JENNY, YOU WANT TO GO

>> THAT IS LIL.
>> OKAY, JENNY, YOU WANT TO GO
GET THEIR KEYS.

>> OKAY, JENNY, YOU WANT TO GO
GET THEIR KEYS.
>> SURE, OKAY.

GET THEIR KEYS.
>> SURE, OKAY.
>> AGAIN, LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL

>> SURE, OKAY.
>> AGAIN, LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL
JOG.

>> AGAIN, LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, LIL
JOG.
>> GOT IT.

JOG.
>> GOT IT.
HI, THERE, FOLKS.

>> GOT IT.
HI, THERE, FOLKS.
DID I GET THE TICKET?

HI, THERE, FOLKS.
DID I GET THE TICKET?
HERE YOU GO.

DID I GET THE TICKET?
HERE YOU GO.
UM.

HERE YOU GO.
UM.
>> OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

UM.
>> OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> NICE CAR YOU GOT THERE.

>> OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> NICE CAR YOU GOT THERE.
I MAY HAVE TO FEEL THAT BABY.

>> NICE CAR YOU GOT THERE.
I MAY HAVE TO FEEL THAT BABY.
I'M JUST KIDDING.

I MAY HAVE TO FEEL THAT BABY.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
I ACTUALLY COULD.

I'M JUST KIDDING.
I ACTUALLY COULD.
JUST KIDDING.

I ACTUALLY COULD.
JUST KIDDING.
I'M ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.

JUST KIDDING.
I'M ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.
NO.

I'M ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.
NO.
I'M NOT.

NO.
I'M NOT.
I'M REALLY MARRIED, WE BROKE UP,

I'M NOT.
I'M REALLY MARRIED, WE BROKE UP,
THOUGH.

I'M REALLY MARRIED, WE BROKE UP,
THOUGH.
I MET HIM ONLINE, AND TURNED OUT

THOUGH.
I MET HIM ONLINE, AND TURNED OUT
HE WAS A SICK MIDDLE SCHOOLER

I MET HIM ONLINE, AND TURNED OUT
HE WAS A SICK MIDDLE SCHOOLER
USING A HOSPITAL COMPUTER.

HE WAS A SICK MIDDLE SCHOOLER
USING A HOSPITAL COMPUTER.
>> OKAY, NO.

USING A HOSPITAL COMPUTER.
>> OKAY, NO.
BRING IT ON BACK.

>> OKAY, NO.
BRING IT ON BACK.
OVER HERE.

BRING IT ON BACK.
OVER HERE.
YEAH.

OVER HERE.
YEAH.
GOOD TRY.

YEAH.
GOOD TRY.
BUT I ALMOST WISH YOU STOPPED

GOOD TRY.
BUT I ALMOST WISH YOU STOPPED
AFTER THE FIRST THING YOU SAID.

BUT I ALMOST WISH YOU STOPPED
AFTER THE FIRST THING YOU SAID.
>> OH.

AFTER THE FIRST THING YOU SAID.
>> OH.
WELL, HOW WAS THAT?

>> OH.
WELL, HOW WAS THAT?
>> NOT VERY GOOD.

WELL, HOW WAS THAT?
>> NOT VERY GOOD.
>> I'LL DO IT NEXT TIME.

>> NOT VERY GOOD.
>> I'LL DO IT NEXT TIME.
>> STANLEY, YOU WANT TO GIVE IT

>> I'LL DO IT NEXT TIME.
>> STANLEY, YOU WANT TO GIVE IT
A TRY?

>> STANLEY, YOU WANT TO GIVE IT
A TRY?
>> OKEYDOKEY.

A TRY?
>> OKEYDOKEY.
>> THANK YOU.

>> OKEYDOKEY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> YOU EVER COME HERE BEFORE?

>> THANK YOU.
>> YOU EVER COME HERE BEFORE?
>> WHAT?

>> YOU EVER COME HERE BEFORE?
>> WHAT?
I'M SORRY.

>> WHAT?
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T REALLY HEAR WHAT YOU --

I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T REALLY HEAR WHAT YOU --
>> PASS!

I CAN'T REALLY HEAR WHAT YOU --
>> PASS!
>> YIKES.

>> PASS!
>> YIKES.
YOU WANT TO TELL US WHAT

>> YIKES.
YOU WANT TO TELL US WHAT
HAPPENED THERE, STANLEY?

YOU WANT TO TELL US WHAT
HAPPENED THERE, STANLEY?
>> YES.

HAPPENED THERE, STANLEY?
>> YES.
I TALKED TOO QUIET, AND THEN I

>> YES.
I TALKED TOO QUIET, AND THEN I
SAID PASS REAL LOUD.

I TALKED TOO QUIET, AND THEN I
SAID PASS REAL LOUD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, STANLEY.

SAID PASS REAL LOUD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, STANLEY.
GOOD.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, STANLEY.
GOOD.
WE GOT ANOTHER CUSTOMER.

GOOD.
WE GOT ANOTHER CUSTOMER.
>> CAN YOU LET ME TRY THE NEXT

WE GOT ANOTHER CUSTOMER.
>> CAN YOU LET ME TRY THE NEXT
ONE?

>> CAN YOU LET ME TRY THE NEXT
ONE?
>> OKAY.

ONE?
>> OKAY.
FINE.

>> OKAY.
FINE.
BUT TAKE IT SLOW, JENNY.

FINE.
BUT TAKE IT SLOW, JENNY.
>> OKAY.

BUT TAKE IT SLOW, JENNY.
>> OKAY.
>> CAREFUL.

>> OKAY.
>> CAREFUL.
SHE'S GOT A TEMPER.

>> CAREFUL.
SHE'S GOT A TEMPER.
>> OKAY.

SHE'S GOT A TEMPER.
>> OKAY.
ACTUALLY, ME TOO.

>> OKAY.
ACTUALLY, ME TOO.
I'M KIDDING.

ACTUALLY, ME TOO.
I'M KIDDING.
NO.

I'M KIDDING.
NO.
ACTUALLY, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

NO.
ACTUALLY, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.
HOW ABOUT YOU RIP OFF THIS

ACTUALLY, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.
HOW ABOUT YOU RIP OFF THIS
TURQUOISE AND PUT A BABY INSIDE

HOW ABOUT YOU RIP OFF THIS
TURQUOISE AND PUT A BABY INSIDE
OF ME.

TURQUOISE AND PUT A BABY INSIDE
OF ME.
>> BAIL.

OF ME.
>> BAIL.
BAIL.

>> BAIL.
BAIL.
>> GUYS, THIS IS SO HARD THE.

BAIL.
>> GUYS, THIS IS SO HARD THE.
>> I THINK I GOT IT NOW, SIR.

>> GUYS, THIS IS SO HARD THE.
>> I THINK I GOT IT NOW, SIR.
>> OKAY.

>> I THINK I GOT IT NOW, SIR.
>> OKAY.
ARE YOU SURE, STANLEY?

>> OKAY.
ARE YOU SURE, STANLEY?
>> YEAH.

ARE YOU SURE, STANLEY?
>> YEAH.
IT'S A LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, AND A

>> YEAH.
IT'S A LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, AND A
LIL JOG.

IT'S A LIL JOKE, LIL BOW, AND A
LIL JOG.
PRETTY SIMPLE.

LIL JOG.
PRETTY SIMPLE.
>> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HR.

PRETTY SIMPLE.
>> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HR.
GO GIVE IT A SHOT.

>> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HR.
GO GIVE IT A SHOT.
>> ALL RIGHT.

GO GIVE IT A SHOT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
LET DO THIS.

>> ALL RIGHT.
LET DO THIS.
AHH!

LET DO THIS.
AHH!
I'M GONNA STEAL YOUR CAR, YOU

AHH!
I'M GONNA STEAL YOUR CAR, YOU
BLACK BITCH!

I'M GONNA STEAL YOUR CAR, YOU
BLACK BITCH!
BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I KNOW

BLACK BITCH!
BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I KNOW
THAT WASN'T RIGHT.

BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I KNOW
THAT WASN'T RIGHT.
>> JUST FORGET IT.

THAT WASN'T RIGHT.
>> JUST FORGET IT.
I MEAN, IF WE CAN'T GET THIS

>> JUST FORGET IT.
I MEAN, IF WE CAN'T GET THIS
RIGHT, WE MIGHT AS WELL SHUT

I MEAN, IF WE CAN'T GET THIS
RIGHT, WE MIGHT AS WELL SHUT
DOWN.

RIGHT, WE MIGHT AS WELL SHUT
DOWN.
I GUESS RICH PEOPLE CAN PARK

DOWN.
I GUESS RICH PEOPLE CAN PARK
THEIR OWN CARS.

I GUESS RICH PEOPLE CAN PARK
THEIR OWN CARS.
>> HEY.

THEIR OWN CARS.
>> HEY.
HEY, DON'T SAY THAT.

>> HEY.
HEY, DON'T SAY THAT.
I PROMISE I'LL MAKE YOU PROUD.

HEY, DON'T SAY THAT.
I PROMISE I'LL MAKE YOU PROUD.
>> AND I'LL PRACTICE MY JOG

I PROMISE I'LL MAKE YOU PROUD.
>> AND I'LL PRACTICE MY JOG
EVERY DAY.

>> AND I'LL PRACTICE MY JOG
EVERY DAY.
>> YOU WILL?

EVERY DAY.
>> YOU WILL?
AW, THANKS, GUYS.

>> YOU WILL?
AW, THANKS, GUYS.
>> YEAH.

AW, THANKS, GUYS.
>> YEAH.
ALSO, I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED

>> YEAH.
ALSO, I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED
ALL THE KEYS.

ALSO, I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED
ALL THE KEYS.
>> ALL RIGHT, THEN.

ALL THE KEYS.
>> ALL RIGHT, THEN.
LET'S GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

>> ALL RIGHT, THEN.
LET'S GO TO THE HOSPITAL.
>>> THEY'RE READY FOR YOU.

LET'S GO TO THE HOSPITAL.
>>> THEY'RE READY FOR YOU.
♪

>>> THEY'RE READY FOR YOU.
♪
>> THREE, TWO, ONE.

♪
>> THREE, TWO, ONE.
AND WE'RE LIVE.

>> THREE, TWO, ONE.
AND WE'RE LIVE.
>> HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF THIS

AND WE'RE LIVE.
>> HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF THIS
TIKTOK THING?

>> HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF THIS
TIKTOK THING?
THE ONLY TIKTOK I HEAR IS MY

TIKTOK THING?
THE ONLY TIKTOK I HEAR IS MY
BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.

THE ONLY TIKTOK I HEAR IS MY
BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.
DON'T GET ME STARTED.

BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

DON'T GET ME STARTED.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
>> JEANNIE DARCY, SELECTIVE

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
>> JEANNIE DARCY, SELECTIVE
STARTAGE.

>> JEANNIE DARCY, SELECTIVE
STARTAGE.
>> NO ONE BRINGS IT LIKE JEANNIE

STARTAGE.
>> NO ONE BRINGS IT LIKE JEANNIE
DARCY, AND THIS TIME THE

>> NO ONE BRINGS IT LIKE JEANNIE
DARCY, AND THIS TIME THE
DARCINATOR IS LIVE, WHICH MEANS

DARCY, AND THIS TIME THE
DARCINATOR IS LIVE, WHICH MEANS
YOU'RE HEARING HER JOKES AT THE

DARCINATOR IS LIVE, WHICH MEANS
YOU'RE HEARING HER JOKES AT THE
SAME TIME SHE'S TELLING THEM,

YOU'RE HEARING HER JOKES AT THE
SAME TIME SHE'S TELLING THEM,
INSTEAD OF STREAMING IT LATER,

SAME TIME SHE'S TELLING THEM,
INSTEAD OF STREAMING IT LATER,
WHICH IS THE REASON MOST PEOPLE

INSTEAD OF STREAMING IT LATER,
WHICH IS THE REASON MOST PEOPLE
GET NETFLIX.

WHICH IS THE REASON MOST PEOPLE
GET NETFLIX.
>> I HAD A BRA FITTING THE OTHER

GET NETFLIX.
>> I HAD A BRA FITTING THE OTHER
DAY.

>> I HAD A BRA FITTING THE OTHER
DAY.
I TRIED ONE ON AND HAD A FIT.

DAY.
I TRIED ONE ON AND HAD A FIT.
MEN MUST DESIGN THESE THINGS.

I TRIED ONE ON AND HAD A FIT.
MEN MUST DESIGN THESE THINGS.
HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN A JOCK

MEN MUST DESIGN THESE THINGS.
HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN A JOCK
STRAP WITH UNDERWIRE?

HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN A JOCK
STRAP WITH UNDERWIRE?
AM I RIGHT, LADY FRIENDS?

STRAP WITH UNDERWIRE?
AM I RIGHT, LADY FRIENDS?
YOU GET MY 411?

AM I RIGHT, LADY FRIENDS?
YOU GET MY 411?
DO NOT EVEN THINK OF GETTING ME

YOU GET MY 411?
DO NOT EVEN THINK OF GETTING ME
STARTED.

DO NOT EVEN THINK OF GETTING ME
STARTED.
>> JEANNIE DARCY IS A LEGEND.

STARTED.
>> JEANNIE DARCY IS A LEGEND.
THAT GIRL INSPIRED A WHOLE

>> JEANNIE DARCY IS A LEGEND.
THAT GIRL INSPIRED A WHOLE
GENERATION OF LESBIAN COMEDIANS.

THAT GIRL INSPIRED A WHOLE
GENERATION OF LESBIAN COMEDIANS.
>> SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN.

GENERATION OF LESBIAN COMEDIANS.
>> SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN.
>> SAY WHAT NOW?

>> SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN.
>> SAY WHAT NOW?
>> JEANNIE DARCY TAKES NO

>> SAY WHAT NOW?
>> JEANNIE DARCY TAKES NO
PRISONERS.

>> JEANNIE DARCY TAKES NO
PRISONERS.
>> MY FRIEND GOT A DOG AND

PRISONERS.
>> MY FRIEND GOT A DOG AND
ALWAYS COMPLAINS HE MESSES UP

>> MY FRIEND GOT A DOG AND
ALWAYS COMPLAINS HE MESSES UP
HER HOUSE AND JUMPS IN HER BED.

ALWAYS COMPLAINS HE MESSES UP
HER HOUSE AND JUMPS IN HER BED.
I SAID, ARE YOU SURE IT'S A DOG,

HER HOUSE AND JUMPS IN HER BED.
I SAID, ARE YOU SURE IT'S A DOG,
OR IS IT MY EX-HUSBAND?

I SAID, ARE YOU SURE IT'S A DOG,
OR IS IT MY EX-HUSBAND?
WHO'S WITH ME?

OR IS IT MY EX-HUSBAND?
WHO'S WITH ME?
DON'T GET ME STARTED.

WHO'S WITH ME?
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

DON'T GET ME STARTED.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
>> OH, MY GOD.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
>> OH, MY GOD.
JEANNIE IS AWESOME.

>> OH, MY GOD.
JEANNIE IS AWESOME.
SHE EVEN GAVE ME HER SET LIST.

JEANNIE IS AWESOME.
SHE EVEN GAVE ME HER SET LIST.
>> I PICKED UP ONE OF THOSE NEW

SHE EVEN GAVE ME HER SET LIST.
>> I PICKED UP ONE OF THOSE NEW
TESLA ELECTRIC CARS.

>> I PICKED UP ONE OF THOSE NEW
TESLA ELECTRIC CARS.
I COULDN'T GET IT STARTED.

TESLA ELECTRIC CARS.
I COULDN'T GET IT STARTED.
DON'T GET ME STARTED.

I COULDN'T GET IT STARTED.
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
>> JEANNIE DARCY, SELECTIVE

DON'T GET ME STARTED.
>> JEANNIE DARCY, SELECTIVE
STARTAGE, STREAMING LIVE

>> JEANNIE DARCY, SELECTIVE
STARTAGE, STREAMING LIVE
TONIGHT.

STARTAGE, STREAMING LIVE
TONIGHT.
>> DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

>>> OH, MY GOD.
A WAFFLE MAKER.
THAT IS SO NICE, JACKIE.

A WAFFLE MAKER.
THAT IS SO NICE, JACKIE.
>> WELL, I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE

THAT IS SO NICE, JACKIE.
>> WELL, I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU COULD DO SUNDAY MORNING

>> WELL, I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU COULD DO SUNDAY MORNING
WAFFLES WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRL.

YOU COULD DO SUNDAY MORNING
WAFFLES WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRL.
>> THAT'S SO SWEET I COULD CRY.

WAFFLES WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRL.
>> THAT'S SO SWEET I COULD CRY.
>> WE'RE JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU,

>> THAT'S SO SWEET I COULD CRY.
>> WE'RE JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU,
SUSIE.

>> WE'RE JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU,
SUSIE.
>> YEAH.

SUSIE.
>> YEAH.
AND WE'RE REALLY GOING TO MISS

>> YEAH.
AND WE'RE REALLY GOING TO MISS
YOU.

AND WE'RE REALLY GOING TO MISS
YOU.
>> WELL, I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW

YOU.
>> WELL, I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW
MONTHS, UNLESS JIM FIRES ME.

>> WELL, I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW
MONTHS, UNLESS JIM FIRES ME.
>> OH, COME ON NOW.

MONTHS, UNLESS JIM FIRES ME.
>> OH, COME ON NOW.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

>> OH, COME ON NOW.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
THAT WOULD BE SUPER ILLEGAL.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
THAT WOULD BE SUPER ILLEGAL.
>> AND HEY, EVEN THOUGH I'M

THAT WOULD BE SUPER ILLEGAL.
>> AND HEY, EVEN THOUGH I'M
STARTING MATERNITY LEAVE, I'M

>> AND HEY, EVEN THOUGH I'M
STARTING MATERNITY LEAVE, I'M
SURE YOU'LL ALL BE SEEING PLENTY

STARTING MATERNITY LEAVE, I'M
SURE YOU'LL ALL BE SEEING PLENTY
OF ME.

SURE YOU'LL ALL BE SEEING PLENTY
OF ME.
>> I HOPE SO.

OF ME.
>> I HOPE SO.
AFTER ALL, I'M THE GOD FATHER.

>> I HOPE SO.
AFTER ALL, I'M THE GOD FATHER.
YOU GAVE ME AN OFFER I COULDN'T

AFTER ALL, I'M THE GOD FATHER.
YOU GAVE ME AN OFFER I COULDN'T
REFUSE.

YOU GAVE ME AN OFFER I COULDN'T
REFUSE.
I'M STILL WORKING ON THE

REFUSE.
I'M STILL WORKING ON THE
IMPRESS.

I'M STILL WORKING ON THE
IMPRESS.
>> I JUST CAN'T GET OVER HOW

IMPRESS.
>> I JUST CAN'T GET OVER HOW
BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK.

>> I JUST CAN'T GET OVER HOW
BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK.
>> CAN YOU T YOU, KENNEDY.

BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK.
>> CAN YOU T YOU, KENNEDY.
HONESTLY, I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER

>> CAN YOU T YOU, KENNEDY.
HONESTLY, I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER
FELTBETTER.

HONESTLY, I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER
FELTBETTER.
MY NAILS ARE STRONG, MY SKIN

FELTBETTER.
MY NAILS ARE STRONG, MY SKIN
LOOKS GREAT.

MY NAILS ARE STRONG, MY SKIN
LOOKS GREAT.
I'M JUST GLOWING.

LOOKS GREAT.
I'M JUST GLOWING.
THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER

I'M JUST GLOWING.
THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER
WANTED.

THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER
WANTED.
>> WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU GUYS

WANTED.
>> WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU GUYS
WITH THIS SAYING I FOUND ON

>> WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU GUYS
WITH THIS SAYING I FOUND ON
BRAINY QUOTE.COM THAT REALLY

WITH THIS SAYING I FOUND ON
BRAINY QUOTE.COM THAT REALLY
CAPTURES KIND OF THE WAY I'M

BRAINY QUOTE.COM THAT REALLY
CAPTURES KIND OF THE WAY I'M
FEELING RIGHT NOW.

CAPTURES KIND OF THE WAY I'M
FEELING RIGHT NOW.
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

FEELING RIGHT NOW.
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
A MOTHER ALWAYS HAS TO THINK

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
A MOTHER ALWAYS HAS TO THINK
TWICE, ONCE FOR HERSELF, AND

A MOTHER ALWAYS HAS TO THINK
TWICE, ONCE FOR HERSELF, AND
ONCE FOR HER CHILD.

TWICE, ONCE FOR HERSELF, AND
ONCE FOR HER CHILD.
>> AWW.

ONCE FOR HER CHILD.
>> AWW.
>> THAT JUST ABSOLUTELY NAILS

>> AWW.
>> THAT JUST ABSOLUTELY NAILS
MATERNAL FEELINGS SURGING

>> THAT JUST ABSOLUTELY NAILS
MATERNAL FEELINGS SURGING
THROUGH MY BODY.

MATERNAL FEELINGS SURGING
THROUGH MY BODY.
ANYWAY, LET ME JUST GRAB THIS

THROUGH MY BODY.
ANYWAY, LET ME JUST GRAB THIS
WAFFLE MAKER.

ANYWAY, LET ME JUST GRAB THIS
WAFFLE MAKER.
[ FLATULENT NOISE ]

WAFFLE MAKER.
[ FLATULENT NOISE ]
GODDAMNIT, NOT AGAIN!

[ FLATULENT NOISE ]
GODDAMNIT, NOT AGAIN!
HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES IS THIS

GODDAMNIT, NOT AGAIN!
HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES IS THIS
GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?

HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES IS THIS
GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?
>> UM, I'M SORRY.

GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?
>> UM, I'M SORRY.
WAS THAT --

>> UM, I'M SORRY.
WAS THAT --
>> A FART, YES, JIM, I RIPPED A

WAS THAT --
>> A FART, YES, JIM, I RIPPED A
BIG OLD FART.

>> A FART, YES, JIM, I RIPPED A
BIG OLD FART.
ARE YOU HAPPY?

BIG OLD FART.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
>> NO.

ARE YOU HAPPY?
>> NO.
I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T SAY HAPPY.

>> NO.
I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T SAY HAPPY.
>> SO IT WAS --

I DEFINITELY WOULDN'T SAY HAPPY.
>> SO IT WAS --
>> NOT A BABY, JUST GAS, YEAH,

>> SO IT WAS --
>> NOT A BABY, JUST GAS, YEAH,
KENNEDY, OBVIOUSLY.

>> NOT A BABY, JUST GAS, YEAH,
KENNEDY, OBVIOUSLY.
GUESS YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WAFFLE

KENNEDY, OBVIOUSLY.
GUESS YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WAFFLE
MAKER BACK.

GUESS YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WAFFLE
MAKER BACK.
I CAN'T MAKE SUNDAY MORNING

MAKER BACK.
I CAN'T MAKE SUNDAY MORNING
WAFFLES FOR A FART.

I CAN'T MAKE SUNDAY MORNING
WAFFLES FOR A FART.
>> JUST KEEP IT.

WAFFLES FOR A FART.
>> JUST KEEP IT.
I'M TOO EMBARRASSED TO EXPLAIN

>> JUST KEEP IT.
I'M TOO EMBARRASSED TO EXPLAIN
WHY I'M RETURNING IT.

I'M TOO EMBARRASSED TO EXPLAIN
WHY I'M RETURNING IT.
>> DAMN IT.

WHY I'M RETURNING IT.
>> DAMN IT.
I'VE BEEN PLAYING MOZART TO A

>> DAMN IT.
I'VE BEEN PLAYING MOZART TO A
GAS BUBBLE FOR EIGHT FREAKING

I'VE BEEN PLAYING MOZART TO A
GAS BUBBLE FOR EIGHT FREAKING
MONTHS.

GAS BUBBLE FOR EIGHT FREAKING
MONTHS.
I'M SO STUPID.

MONTHS.
I'M SO STUPID.
>> SMELLS LIKE MAYBE IT WAS

I'M SO STUPID.
>> SMELLS LIKE MAYBE IT WAS
TWINS.

>> SMELLS LIKE MAYBE IT WAS
TWINS.
>> DIDN'T YOU GO TO A DOCTOR?

TWINS.
>> DIDN'T YOU GO TO A DOCTOR?
>> WHAT KIND OF A DOCTOR,

>> DIDN'T YOU GO TO A DOCTOR?
>> WHAT KIND OF A DOCTOR,
JACKIE, A FART DOCTOR?

>> WHAT KIND OF A DOCTOR,
JACKIE, A FART DOCTOR?
WELL, WHATEVER, AT LEAST I STILL

JACKIE, A FART DOCTOR?
WELL, WHATEVER, AT LEAST I STILL
GET SIX MONTHS MATERNITY LEAVE.

WELL, WHATEVER, AT LEAST I STILL
GET SIX MONTHS MATERNITY LEAVE.
>> YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT.

GET SIX MONTHS MATERNITY LEAVE.
>> YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT.
YOU FORFEITED YOUR MATERNITY

>> YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT.
YOU FORFEITED YOUR MATERNITY
LEAVE WHEN YOU STUNK UP THE

YOU FORFEITED YOUR MATERNITY
LEAVE WHEN YOU STUNK UP THE
OFFICE.

LEAVE WHEN YOU STUNK UP THE
OFFICE.
>> SO, SUSIE, THIS HAS HAPPENED

OFFICE.
>> SO, SUSIE, THIS HAS HAPPENED
MORE THAN ONCE?

>> SO, SUSIE, THIS HAS HAPPENED
MORE THAN ONCE?
FOUR TIMES?

MORE THAN ONCE?
FOUR TIMES?
>> HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE,

FOUR TIMES?
>> HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE,
SUSIE?

>> HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE,
SUSIE?
>> OH, MY GOD.

SUSIE?
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> WHAT?

>> OH, MY GOD.
>> WHAT?
>> I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.

>> WHAT?
>> I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.
I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE I ARE EM

>> I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.
I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE I ARE EM
THIS MORNING ON THE BUS, AN OLD

I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE I ARE EM
THIS MORNING ON THE BUS, AN OLD
MAN GAVE ME HIS SEAT, AND THEN

THIS MORNING ON THE BUS, AN OLD
MAN GAVE ME HIS SEAT, AND THEN
THE BUS HIT A BUMP, AND HE FELL

MAN GAVE ME HIS SEAT, AND THEN
THE BUS HIT A BUMP, AND HE FELL
DOWN IN THE AISLE, AND HE DIED.

THE BUS HIT A BUMP, AND HE FELL
DOWN IN THE AISLE, AND HE DIED.
>> THAT WAS THIS MORNING?

DOWN IN THE AISLE, AND HE DIED.
>> THAT WAS THIS MORNING?
>> WHATEVER.

>> THAT WAS THIS MORNING?
>> WHATEVER.
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS I CAN

>> WHATEVER.
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS I CAN
START DRINKING AGAIN.

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS I CAN
START DRINKING AGAIN.
>> YOU DO KNOW YOU AT WORK,

START DRINKING AGAIN.
>> YOU DO KNOW YOU AT WORK,
RIGHT?

>> YOU DO KNOW YOU AT WORK,
RIGHT?
>> HEY, SUSIE.

RIGHT?
>> HEY, SUSIE.
I GOT YOUR LUNCH ORDER FROM TH

>> HEY, SUSIE.
I GOT YOUR LUNCH ORDER FROM TH
CAFETERIA.

I GOT YOUR LUNCH ORDER FROM TH
CAFETERIA.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVAN.

CAFETERIA.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVAN.
>> NO PROBLEM.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVAN.
>> NO PROBLEM.
>> WHAT DID YOU GET?

>> NO PROBLEM.
>> WHAT DID YOU GET?
>> OH, I GET THE SAME THING

>> WHAT DID YOU GET?
>> OH, I GET THE SAME THING
EVERY DAY.

>> OH, I GET THE SAME THING
EVERY DAY.
I GET CAT FISH SLIDERS.

EVERY DAY.
I GET CAT FISH SLIDERS.
>> WOW.

I GET CAT FISH SLIDERS.
>> WOW.
>> MM.

>> WOW.
>> MM.
THIS IS REALLY HITTING THE SPOT

>> MM.
THIS IS REALLY HITTING THE SPOT
IN A VERY UNBELIEVABLE WAY.

THIS IS REALLY HITTING THE SPOT
IN A VERY UNBELIEVABLE WAY.
MM.

IN A VERY UNBELIEVABLE WAY.
MM.
>> SUSIE, LOOK AT YOUR STOMACH.

MM.
>> SUSIE, LOOK AT YOUR STOMACH.
>> OH, MY GOD.

>> SUSIE, LOOK AT YOUR STOMACH.
>> OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.

>> OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S A MIRACLE.

OH, MY GOD.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
>> NO.

IT'S A MIRACLE.
>> NO.
>> IT'S A MIRACLE.

>> NO.
>> IT'S A MIRACLE.
>> NO.

>> IT'S A MIRACLE.
>> NO.
>> GUYS, I HAVE SOME REALLY

>> NO.
>> GUYS, I HAVE SOME REALLY
EXCITING NEWS.

>> GUYS, I HAVE SOME REALLY
EXCITING NEWS.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M

EXCITING NEWS.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M
PREGNANT AGAIN.

I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M
PREGNANT AGAIN.
WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO TAKE A

PREGNANT AGAIN.
WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO TAKE A
PREGNANCY TEST.

WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO TAKE A
PREGNANCY TEST.
CALL IT A MOTHER'S INTUITION.

PREGNANCY TEST.
CALL IT A MOTHER'S INTUITION.
I REALLY THINK IT WILL BE A NICE

CALL IT A MOTHER'S INTUITION.
I REALLY THINK IT WILL BE A NICE
GESTURE FOR ALL OF YOU TO

I REALLY THINK IT WILL BE A NICE
GESTURE FOR ALL OF YOU TO
ORGANIZE A BABY SHOWER FOR ME.

GESTURE FOR ALL OF YOU TO
ORGANIZE A BABY SHOWER FOR ME.
>> YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, SUSIE.

ORGANIZE A BABY SHOWER FOR ME.
>> YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, SUSIE.
IT'S JUST GAS FROM YOUR HUNGRY

>> YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, SUSIE.
IT'S JUST GAS FROM YOUR HUNGRY
ASS CAT FISH SLIDERS AT 11:00

IT'S JUST GAS FROM YOUR HUNGRY
ASS CAT FISH SLIDERS AT 11:00
A.M.

ASS CAT FISH SLIDERS AT 11:00
A.M.
>> LOOK, KENNEDY, I KNOW YOU'RE

A.M.
>> LOOK, KENNEDY, I KNOW YOU'RE
A SINGLE GAL WHORING AROUND THE

>> LOOK, KENNEDY, I KNOW YOU'RE
A SINGLE GAL WHORING AROUND THE
CITY, SO YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY

A SINGLE GAL WHORING AROUND THE
CITY, SO YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY
UNDERSTAND HOW --

CITY, SO YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY
UNDERSTAND HOW --
[ FLATULENT NOISE ]

UNDERSTAND HOW --
[ FLATULENT NOISE ]
OH, MY GOD.

[ FLATULENT NOISE ]
OH, MY GOD.
NO.

OH, MY GOD.
NO.
HOW MUCH SUFFERING CAN ONE

NO.
HOW MUCH SUFFERING CAN ONE
MOTHER BEAR?

HOW MUCH SUFFERING CAN ONE
MOTHER BEAR?
WHATEVER.

MOTHER BEAR?
WHATEVER.
WELL, AT LEAST I CAN SMOKE

WHATEVER.
WELL, AT LEAST I CAN SMOKE
AGN.

WELL, AT LEAST I CAN SMOKE
AGN.
>> WAIT, SUSIE -- DON'T LIGHT

AGN.
>> WAIT, SUSIE -- DON'T LIGHT
THAT CIGAR!

>> WAIT, SUSIE -- DON'T LIGHT
THAT CIGAR!
>>> HEY.

THAT CIGAR!
>>> HEY.
ARE YOU GUYS FREE TO TALK?

>>> HEY.
ARE YOU GUYS FREE TO TALK?
>> MOLLY!

ARE YOU GUYS FREE TO TALK?
>> MOLLY!
>> HEY, MOLLY.

>> MOLLY!
>> HEY, MOLLY.
>> COME ON IN.

>> HEY, MOLLY.
>> COME ON IN.
WE'RE PLAGUE SOME VIDEO GAMES.

>> COME ON IN.
WE'RE PLAGUE SOME VIDEO GAMES.
>> YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH --

WE'RE PLAGUE SOME VIDEO GAMES.
>> YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH --
>> WAIT, WHAT GAME IS THIS.

>> YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH --
>> WAIT, WHAT GAME IS THIS.
>> MOLLY 2 K 23.

>> WAIT, WHAT GAME IS THIS.
>> MOLLY 2 K 23.
>> IT'S REALLY FUN.

>> MOLLY 2 K 23.
>> IT'S REALLY FUN.
YOU PLAY AS MOLLY SHANNON

>> IT'S REALLY FUN.
YOU PLAY AS MOLLY SHANNON
BOUNCING YOUR CAREER AS AN ACTOR

YOU PLAY AS MOLLY SHANNON
BOUNCING YOUR CAREER AS AN ACTOR
WITH RAISING A FAMILY.

BOUNCING YOUR CAREER AS AN ACTOR
WITH RAISING A FAMILY.
>> AND THAT'S HOW I EMBARRASSED

WITH RAISING A FAMILY.
>> AND THAT'S HOW I EMBARRASSED
MYSELF IN FRONT OF OBAMA.

>> AND THAT'S HOW I EMBARRASSED
MYSELF IN FRONT OF OBAMA.
>> OH, YOU JUST CRACKED JIMMY

MYSELF IN FRONT OF OBAMA.
>> OH, YOU JUST CRACKED JIMMY
UP.

>> OH, YOU JUST CRACKED JIMMY
UP.
>> THERE'S A GAME ABOUT MY LIFE?

UP.
>> THERE'S A GAME ABOUT MY LIFE?
>> OH, DUDE.

>> THERE'S A GAME ABOUT MY LIFE?
>> OH, DUDE.
WE UNLOCKED AN NYU COMMENTMENT

>> OH, DUDE.
WE UNLOCKED AN NYU COMMENTMENT
SPEECH.

WE UNLOCKED AN NYU COMMENTMENT
SPEECH.
PRESS A TO GET KIDS -- OR PRESS

SPEECH.
PRESS A TO GET KIDS -- OR PRESS
B.

PRESS A TO GET KIDS -- OR PRESS
B.
>> THIS GENERATION IS A BUNCH OF

B.
>> THIS GENERATION IS A BUNCH OF
SNOWFLAKES.

>> THIS GENERATION IS A BUNCH OF
SNOWFLAKES.
>> CAREER SETBACK.

SNOWFLAKES.
>> CAREER SETBACK.
>> DAMN IT.

>> CAREER SETBACK.
>> DAMN IT.
THAT MADE US DROP ALL OUR

>> DAMN IT.
THAT MADE US DROP ALL OUR
TURNUPS.

THAT MADE US DROP ALL OUR
TURNUPS.
>> WHAT ARE TURNUPS?

TURNUPS.
>> WHAT ARE TURNUPS?
>> THEY ARE DOLLARS.

>> WHAT ARE TURNUPS?
>> THEY ARE DOLLARS.
YOU CAN USE THEM TO BUY OUTFITS.

>> THEY ARE DOLLARS.
YOU CAN USE THEM TO BUY OUTFITS.
>> SHOULDN'T I BE GETTING PAID

YOU CAN USE THEM TO BUY OUTFITS.
>> SHOULDN'T I BE GETTING PAID
OR SOMETHING.

>> SHOULDN'T I BE GETTING PAID
OR SOMETHING.
>> I WOULD ASSUME SO.

OR SOMETHING.
>> I WOULD ASSUME SO.
THEY HAVE BEEN MAKING THEM FOR

>> I WOULD ASSUME SO.
THEY HAVE BEEN MAKING THEM FOR
YEARS.

THEY HAVE BEEN MAKING THEM FOR
YEARS.
>> WE'VE BEEN PLAYING THEM SINCE

YEARS.
>> WE'VE BEEN PLAYING THEM SINCE
WE WERE KIDS.

>> WE'VE BEEN PLAYING THEM SINCE
WE WERE KIDS.
>> OH, MY GOD.

WE WERE KIDS.
>> OH, MY GOD.
IS THAT MY DAUGHTER?

>> OH, MY GOD.
IS THAT MY DAUGHTER?
>> YEP.

IS THAT MY DAUGHTER?
>> YEP.
JUST GIVING STELLA THE BIRDS AND

>> YEP.
JUST GIVING STELLA THE BIRDS AND
THE BEES TALK.

JUST GIVING STELLA THE BIRDS AND
THE BEES TALK.
>> AND REMEMBER, ALWAYS USE TWO

THE BEES TALK.
>> AND REMEMBER, ALWAYS USE TWO
CONDOMS.

>> AND REMEMBER, ALWAYS USE TWO
CONDOMS.
>> THANKS, MOM.

CONDOMS.
>> THANKS, MOM.
>> HERE'S A TURNIP.

>> THANKS, MOM.
>> HERE'S A TURNIP.
>> I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

>> HERE'S A TURNIP.
>> I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW.

>> I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW.
>> COMBAT MODE.

WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW.
>> COMBAT MODE.
OUR MOLLYS ARE FIGHTING TO THE

>> COMBAT MODE.
OUR MOLLYS ARE FIGHTING TO THE
DEATH.

OUR MOLLYS ARE FIGHTING TO THE
DEATH.
WE CAN ALSO DO THE SKATE LEVEL.

DEATH.
WE CAN ALSO DO THE SKATE LEVEL.
WE JUST LEARNED HOW TO MAKE

WE CAN ALSO DO THE SKATE LEVEL.
WE JUST LEARNED HOW TO MAKE
TWISTS.

WE JUST LEARNED HOW TO MAKE
TWISTS.
>> 2 K 24 IS SUPPOSED TO BE

TWISTS.
>> 2 K 24 IS SUPPOSED TO BE
FLAWLESS.

>> 2 K 24 IS SUPPOSED TO BE
FLAWLESS.
>> EMOTIONAL LEVELS ARE LOW.

FLAWLESS.
>> EMOTIONAL LEVELS ARE LOW.
WE GOT TO GO TO THE THERAPIST.

>> EMOTIONAL LEVELS ARE LOW.
WE GOT TO GO TO THE THERAPIST.
>> IN COLLEGE I ACTUALLY DATED A

WE GOT TO GO TO THE THERAPIST.
>> IN COLLEGE I ACTUALLY DATED A
WOMAN.

>> IN COLLEGE I ACTUALLY DATED A
WOMAN.
>> HOW DOES IT KNOW THAT?

WOMAN.
>> HOW DOES IT KNOW THAT?
>> THIS GAME RULES.

>> HOW DOES IT KNOW THAT?
>> THIS GAME RULES.
YOU CAN BE ANY MOLLY SHANNON YOU

>> THIS GAME RULES.
YOU CAN BE ANY MOLLY SHANNON YOU
WANT.

YOU CAN BE ANY MOLLY SHANNON YOU
WANT.
YOU CAN BE A SUPERHERO OR A

WANT.
YOU CAN BE A SUPERHERO OR A
RAPPER.

YOU CAN BE A SUPERHERO OR A
RAPPER.
>> I DON'T WANT TO BE A RAPPER.

RAPPER.
>> I DON'T WANT TO BE A RAPPER.
I WANT TO BE MYSELF.

>> I DON'T WANT TO BE A RAPPER.
I WANT TO BE MYSELF.
>> I'M TIRED OF GETTING YELLED

I WANT TO BE MYSELF.
>> I'M TIRED OF GETTING YELLED
AT FOR A HOPBY I HAVE.

>> I'M TIRED OF GETTING YELLED
AT FOR A HOPBY I HAVE.
SEE YOU LATER, MOLLY.

AT FOR A HOPBY I HAVE.
SEE YOU LATER, MOLLY.
>> OH, MY -- MOLLY, ARE YOU

SEE YOU LATER, MOLLY.
>> OH, MY -- MOLLY, ARE YOU
PLAYING THE GAME STILL.

>> OH, MY -- MOLLY, ARE YOU
PLAYING THE GAME STILL.
>> I BECAME A RAPPER.

PLAYING THE GAME STILL.
>> I BECAME A RAPPER.
>> WHAT?

>> I BECAME A RAPPER.
>> WHAT?
>> MY NAME IS MOLLY THE RAPPER,

>> WHAT?
>> MY NAME IS MOLLY THE RAPPER,
AND I'M REALLY GOOD NOW.

>> MY NAME IS MOLLY THE RAPPER,
AND I'M REALLY GOOD NOW.
I'M ON LEVEL 99.

AND I'M REALLY GOOD NOW.
I'M ON LEVEL 99.
♪ SAY MY MOTHER-LOVING NAME, YOU

I'M ON LEVEL 99.
♪ SAY MY MOTHER-LOVING NAME, YOU
KNOW IT'S MOLLY SHANNON ♪

♪ SAY MY MOTHER-LOVING NAME, YOU
KNOW IT'S MOLLY SHANNON ♪
♪ DOING HIGH KICKS, AND YOU KNOW

KNOW IT'S MOLLY SHANNON ♪
♪ DOING HIGH KICKS, AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THE LOVE IS.

♪ DOING HIGH KICKS, AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THE LOVE IS.
GOT MY FINGERS IN MY ARMS, CAN'T

WHAT THE LOVE IS.
GOT MY FINGERS IN MY ARMS, CAN'T
PULL THEM OUT ♪

GOT MY FINGERS IN MY ARMS, CAN'T
PULL THEM OUT ♪
♪ LIKE A CALIBER, SEASON 25

PULL THEM OUT ♪
♪ LIKE A CALIBER, SEASON 25
CALIBER, PUNKS GETTING MARY

♪ LIKE A CALIBER, SEASON 25
CALIBER, PUNKS GETTING MARY
CATHERINE GALLAGHER, BITCH.

CALIBER, PUNKS GETTING MARY
CATHERINE GALLAGHER, BITCH.
>> OH, MY -- MOLLY SHANNON THE

CATHERINE GALLAGHER, BITCH.
>> OH, MY -- MOLLY SHANNON THE
RAPPER.

>> OH, MY -- MOLLY SHANNON THE
RAPPER.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

RAPPER.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
>> THAT WAS SO GOOD.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
>> THAT WAS SO GOOD.
>> THAT'S NOT GATORADE.

>> THAT WAS SO GOOD.
>> THAT'S NOT GATORADE.
>> OH, MY GOD!

>> THAT'S NOT GATORADE.
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> BITCH.

>> OH, MY GOD!
>> BITCH.
>>> WOW, MY GIRLFRIEND SOPHIE, A

>> BITCH.
>>> WOW, MY GIRLFRIEND SOPHIE, A
FANCY PLAY WRITE.

>>> WOW, MY GIRLFRIEND SOPHIE, A
FANCY PLAY WRITE.
I'M SO PROUD.

FANCY PLAY WRITE.
I'M SO PROUD.
>> THANKS, BRIAN.

I'M SO PROUD.
>> THANKS, BRIAN.
>> I'M SO SORRY TO BUG YOU.

>> THANKS, BRIAN.
>> I'M SO SORRY TO BUG YOU.
I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WRITING.

>> I'M SO SORRY TO BUG YOU.
I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WRITING.
I SEE ALL YOUR PLAYS.

I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WRITING.
I SEE ALL YOUR PLAYS.
YOU'RE SO BRILLIANT.

I SEE ALL YOUR PLAYS.
YOU'RE SO BRILLIANT.
>> THAT'S SO SWEET.

YOU'RE SO BRILLIANT.
>> THAT'S SO SWEET.
THIS IS T FIRST PLAY THAT'S

>> THAT'S SO SWEET.
THIS IS T FIRST PLAY THAT'S
ACTUALLY ABOUT MY LIFE.

THIS IS T FIRST PLAY THAT'S
ACTUALLY ABOUT MY LIFE.
I'M NERVOUS, BRIAN.

ACTUALLY ABOUT MY LIFE.
I'M NERVOUS, BRIAN.
>> DON'T BE.

I'M NERVOUS, BRIAN.
>> DON'T BE.
EVERYBODY'S GOING TO LOVE IT.

>> DON'T BE.
EVERYBODY'S GOING TO LOVE IT.
>> SOPHIE, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

EVERYBODY'S GOING TO LOVE IT.
>> SOPHIE, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
IT'S YOUR WEDDING DAY.

>> SOPHIE, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
IT'S YOUR WEDDING DAY.
AND EVERYONE'S EXPECTING YOU TO

IT'S YOUR WEDDING DAY.
AND EVERYONE'S EXPECTING YOU TO
SAY I DO.

AND EVERYONE'S EXPECTING YOU TO
SAY I DO.
BUT DO YOU?

SAY I DO.
BUT DO YOU?
OR FOR ONCE, WOULD YOU RATHER DO

BUT DO YOU?
OR FOR ONCE, WOULD YOU RATHER DO
YOU?

OR FOR ONCE, WOULD YOU RATHER DO
YOU?
GIRL, YOU DON'T LOVE HIS SORRY

YOU?
GIRL, YOU DON'T LOVE HIS SORRY
ASS.

GIRL, YOU DON'T LOVE HIS SORRY
ASS.
>> GOD, THIS ACTRESS, SHE'S

ASS.
>> GOD, THIS ACTRESS, SHE'S
AMAZING.

>> GOD, THIS ACTRESS, SHE'S
AMAZING.
>> WHOA, YOU ALMOST GOT MARRIED?

AMAZING.
>> WHOA, YOU ALMOST GOT MARRIED?
OKAY.

>> WHOA, YOU ALMOST GOT MARRIED?
OKAY.
I'M SURPRISED THAT NEVER CAME

OKAY.
I'M SURPRISED THAT NEVER CAME
UP.

I'M SURPRISED THAT NEVER CAME
UP.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE YOUR

UP.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE YOUR
TRUTH, SOPHIE.

>> YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE YOUR
TRUTH, SOPHIE.
YOU'RE GOING TO LEF THIS CHUMP,

TRUTH, SOPHIE.
YOU'RE GOING TO LEF THIS CHUMP,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A YEAR

YOU'RE GOING TO LEF THIS CHUMP,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A YEAR
OF A THOUSAND MEN.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A YEAR
OF A THOUSAND MEN.
AND SO I DID.

OF A THOUSAND MEN.
AND SO I DID.
I DATED A THOUSAND MEN IN ONE

AND SO I DID.
I DATED A THOUSAND MEN IN ONE
YEAR.

I DATED A THOUSAND MEN IN ONE
YEAR.
AND THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING

YEAR.
AND THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING
CHANGED.

AND THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING
CHANGED.
♪ CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE ♪

CHANGED.
♪ CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE ♪
>> DID SHE SAY A THOUSAND?

♪ CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE ♪
>> DID SHE SAY A THOUSAND?
THAT'S MORE THAN TWO A DAY.

>> DID SHE SAY A THOUSAND?
THAT'S MORE THAN TWO A DAY.
>> IT EXPLAINS.

THAT'S MORE THAN TWO A DAY.
>> IT EXPLAINS.
>> WHO DID I DATE, YOU ASK?

>> IT EXPLAINS.
>> WHO DID I DATE, YOU ASK?
EVERYONE FROM FINANCE BROS WITH

>> WHO DID I DATE, YOU ASK?
EVERYONE FROM FINANCE BROS WITH
PERFECT ABS TO BROOKLYN ARTISTS

EVERYONE FROM FINANCE BROS WITH
PERFECT ABS TO BROOKLYN ARTISTS
WITH UNCUT DONGS.

PERFECT ABS TO BROOKLYN ARTISTS
WITH UNCUT DONGS.
AND THE LESS I WANTED THEM, THE

WITH UNCUT DONGS.
AND THE LESS I WANTED THEM, THE
MORE THEY WANTED ME.

AND THE LESS I WANTED THEM, THE
MORE THEY WANTED ME.
I WAS PULLED IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

MORE THEY WANTED ME.
I WAS PULLED IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
>> SOPHIE.

I WAS PULLED IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
>> SOPHIE.
>> SOPHIE.

>> SOPHIE.
>> SOPHIE.
>> SOPHIE.

>> SOPHIE.
>> SOPHIE.
>> SOPHIE.

>> SOPHIE.
>> SOPHIE.
>> I WANT TO GET DRUNK ON YOUR

>> SOPHIE.
>> I WANT TO GET DRUNK ON YOUR
FUMES.

>> I WANT TO GET DRUNK ON YOUR
FUMES.
>> AND I DON'T WANT TO USE A

FUMES.
>> AND I DON'T WANT TO USE A
CONDOM.

>> AND I DON'T WANT TO USE A
CONDOM.
>> FINE BY ME.

CONDOM.
>> FINE BY ME.
>> I THINK I'M GOING TO HEAD

>> FINE BY ME.
>> I THINK I'M GOING TO HEAD
OUT.

>> I THINK I'M GOING TO HEAD
OUT.
>> BABE, DON'T.

OUT.
>> BABE, DON'T.
'S LOOSELY BASED ON MY LIFE.

>> BABE, DON'T.
'S LOOSELY BASED ON MY LIFE.
IT'S NOT ALL TRUE.

'S LOOSELY BASED ON MY LIFE.
IT'S NOT ALL TRUE.
>> ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.

IT'S NOT ALL TRUE.
>> ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.
AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, THERE HAVE

>> ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.
AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, THERE HAVE
BEEN NO EMBELLISHMENTS.

AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, THERE HAVE
BEEN NO EMBELLISHMENTS.
ABOUT 998 BANGS LATER, I WAS

BEEN NO EMBELLISHMENTS.
ABOUT 998 BANGS LATER, I WAS
STILL FEELING TOTALLY

ABOUT 998 BANGS LATER, I WAS
STILL FEELING TOTALLY
UNFULFILLED.

STILL FEELING TOTALLY
UNFULFILLED.
BUT ALL OF THAT WAS ABOUT TO

UNFULFILLED.
BUT ALL OF THAT WAS ABOUT TO
CHANGE, BECAUSE I MET THE ONE.

BUT ALL OF THAT WAS ABOUT TO
CHANGE, BECAUSE I MET THE ONE.
>> OKAY.

CHANGE, BECAUSE I MET THE ONE.
>> OKAY.
THAT'S SWEET, I GUESS.

>> OKAY.
THAT'S SWEET, I GUESS.
>> MY EX, TREVOR, THE ONE THAT

THAT'S SWEET, I GUESS.
>> MY EX, TREVOR, THE ONE THAT
GOT AWAY.

>> MY EX, TREVOR, THE ONE THAT
GOT AWAY.
>> HEY, BABE.

GOT AWAY.
>> HEY, BABE.
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MIND BEING ON

>> HEY, BABE.
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MIND BEING ON
TV WHILE WE SAT COURTSIDE AT THE

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MIND BEING ON
TV WHILE WE SAT COURTSIDE AT THE
LAKERS GAME.

TV WHILE WE SAT COURTSIDE AT THE
LAKERS GAME.
>> NO.

LAKERS GAME.
>> NO.
THAT'S OKAY.

>> NO.
THAT'S OKAY.
I KNOW ALL THOSE GUYS ANYWAY.

THAT'S OKAY.
I KNOW ALL THOSE GUYS ANYWAY.
>> WHAT?

I KNOW ALL THOSE GUYS ANYWAY.
>> WHAT?
THE LAKERS?

>> WHAT?
THE LAKERS?
>> BUT THEN I FOUND OUT AN UGLY

THE LAKERS?
>> BUT THEN I FOUND OUT AN UGLY
TRUTH ABOUT HIM.

>> BUT THEN I FOUND OUT AN UGLY
TRUTH ABOUT HIM.
>> DOCTORS TOLD ME I HAVE A

TRUTH ABOUT HIM.
>> DOCTORS TOLD ME I HAVE A
CONDITION.

>> DOCTORS TOLD ME I HAVE A
CONDITION.
WHERE ANY TIME YOU CLIMAX IN THE

CONDITION.
WHERE ANY TIME YOU CLIMAX IN THE
FUTURE, IT WILL STILL BE BECAUSE

WHERE ANY TIME YOU CLIMAX IN THE
FUTURE, IT WILL STILL BE BECAUSE
OF ME.

FUTURE, IT WILL STILL BE BECAUSE
OF ME.
>> AND THEN, HE BROKE UP WITH

OF ME.
>> AND THEN, HE BROKE UP WITH
ME.

>> AND THEN, HE BROKE UP WITH
ME.
HE MOVED TO ANAHEIM TO PURSUE

ME.
HE MOVED TO ANAHEIM TO PURSUE
HIS DREAM OF RUNNING SOCIAL

HE MOVED TO ANAHEIM TO PURSUE
HIS DREAM OF RUNNING SOCIAL
MEDIA FOR GRUB HUB.

HIS DREAM OF RUNNING SOCIAL
MEDIA FOR GRUB HUB.
SO THE NEXT DAY, I WENT TO A

MEDIA FOR GRUB HUB.
SO THE NEXT DAY, I WENT TO A
BOWLING ALLY TO GET SLOPPY DRUNK

SO THE NEXT DAY, I WENT TO A
BOWLING ALLY TO GET SLOPPY DRUNK
WHEN -- SOME GUY APPROACHED ME.

BOWLING ALLY TO GET SLOPPY DRUNK
WHEN -- SOME GUY APPROACHED ME.
>> HELLO.

WHEN -- SOME GUY APPROACHED ME.
>> HELLO.
I'M BRIAN.

>> HELLO.
I'M BRIAN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT?

I'M BRIAN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT?
>> UM, WHATEVER, I GUESS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT?
>> UM, WHATEVER, I GUESS.
>> OH, MY GOD.

>> UM, WHATEVER, I GUESS.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND, SOPHIE,

>> OH, MY GOD.
>> WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND, SOPHIE,
A FANCY PLAY WRITE.

>> WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND, SOPHIE,
A FANCY PLAY WRITE.
I'M SO PROUD.

A FANCY PLAY WRITE.
I'M SO PROUD.
HIGH FIVE.

I'M SO PROUD.
HIGH FIVE.
NOBODY?

HIGH FIVE.
NOBODY?
OKAY.

NOBODY?
OKAY.
>> AND AFTER FOUR WEEKS OF

OKAY.
>> AND AFTER FOUR WEEKS OF
DATING, I COULDN'T HOLD HIM OFF

>> AND AFTER FOUR WEEKS OF
DATING, I COULDN'T HOLD HIM OFF
ANYMORE.

DATING, I COULDN'T HOLD HIM OFF
ANYMORE.
I HAD TO BUCK UP AND FINALLY

ANYMORE.
I HAD TO BUCK UP AND FINALLY
HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

I HAD TO BUCK UP AND FINALLY
HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
>> WHOO!

HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
>> WHOO!
AS THEY SAY, THERE'S A FIRST

>> WHOO!
AS THEY SAY, THERE'S A FIRST
TIME FOR EVERYTHING.

AS THEY SAY, THERE'S A FIRST
TIME FOR EVERYTHING.
>> IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST

TIME FOR EVERYTHING.
>> IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST
PAINFULLY BLAND EXPERIENCES OF

>> IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST
PAINFULLY BLAND EXPERIENCES OF
MY LIFE.

PAINFULLY BLAND EXPERIENCES OF
MY LIFE.
>> OKAY.

MY LIFE.
>> OKAY.
>> AND THERE IT WAS, I HAD

>> OKAY.
>> AND THERE IT WAS, I HAD
REACHED MY 1,000th MAN.

>> AND THERE IT WAS, I HAD
REACHED MY 1,000th MAN.
IT WAS TIME TO OFFICIALLY SETTLE

REACHED MY 1,000th MAN.
IT WAS TIME TO OFFICIALLY SETTLE
IN, UNTIL, I MET SOMEONE WHO

IT WAS TIME TO OFFICIALLY SETTLE
IN, UNTIL, I MET SOMEONE WHO
WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE.

IN, UNTIL, I MET SOMEONE WHO
WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE.
>> SORRY TO BUG YOU.

WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE.
>> SORRY TO BUG YOU.
I'M JUST A HUGE FAN OF OUR

>> SORRY TO BUG YOU.
I'M JUST A HUGE FAN OF OUR
WRITING.

I'M JUST A HUGE FAN OF OUR
WRITING.
I SEE ALL YOUR PLAYS.

WRITING.
I SEE ALL YOUR PLAYS.
YOU'RE BRILLIANT.

I SEE ALL YOUR PLAYS.
YOU'RE BRILLIANT.
>> I MET MR. 1,001.

YOU'RE BRILLIANT.
>> I MET MR. 1,001.
>> WAIT.

>> I MET MR. 1,001.
>> WAIT.
IS THAT THE GUY FROM FIVE

>> WAIT.
IS THAT THE GUY FROM FIVE
MINUTES AGO?

IS THAT THE GUY FROM FIVE
MINUTES AGO?
OH, COME ON!

>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JONAS
BROTHERS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BROTHERS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ HEY NOW

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ HEY NOW
WE NEVER KNEW

♪ HEY NOW
WE NEVER KNEW
HOW TO FORFEIT ♪

WE NEVER KNEW
HOW TO FORFEIT ♪
♪ HEY NOW

HOW TO FORFEIT ♪
♪ HEY NOW
WE ALWAYS KNEW

♪ HEY NOW
WE ALWAYS KNEW
HOW TO TALK♪

WE ALWAYS KNEW
HOW TO TALK♪
HEY NOW ♪

HOW TO TALK♪
HEY NOW ♪
♪ COUPLE NIGHTS

HEY NOW ♪
♪ COUPLE NIGHTS
THREW GASOLINE

♪ COUPLE NIGHTS
THREW GASOLINE
ON THE FIRE

THREW GASOLINE
ON THE FIRE
HEY NOW ♪

ON THE FIRE
HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE NEVER HOW TO PERFECT

HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE NEVER HOW TO PERFECT
HEY NOW

♪ WE NEVER HOW TO PERFECT
HEY NOW
WE ALWAYS KNEW

HEY NOW
WE ALWAYS KNEW
IT WOULD WORK 'CAUSE ♪

WE ALWAYS KNEW
IT WOULD WORK 'CAUSE ♪
♪ IF SOMETHING MISREAD

IT WOULD WORK 'CAUSE ♪
♪ IF SOMETHING MISREAD
OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID

♪ IF SOMETHING MISREAD
OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID
KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪

OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID
KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪
♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S

KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪
♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S
GONNA GET FIGURED OUT

♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S
GONNA GET FIGURED OUT
OH DEEP CONVERSATIONS

GONNA GET FIGURED OUT
OH DEEP CONVERSATIONS
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪

OH DEEP CONVERSATIONS
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER

AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER
AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪

♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER
AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE

AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE
WOULD TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER ♪

♪ OH, THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE
WOULD TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE,

WOULD TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE,
HEY NOW ♪

♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE,
HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE NEVER KNEW

HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE NEVER KNEW
HOW TO FAKE IT

♪ WE NEVER KNEW
HOW TO FAKE IT
HEY NOW ♪

HOW TO FAKE IT
HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS KNEW

HEY NOW ♪
♪ WE ALWAYS KNEW
HOW TO BREAK

♪ WE ALWAYS KNEW
HOW TO BREAK
HEY NOW ♪

HOW TO BREAK
HEY NOW ♪
♪ COUPLE NIGHTS

HEY NOW ♪
♪ COUPLE NIGHTS
THREW GASOLINE

♪ COUPLE NIGHTS
THREW GASOLINE
ON THE FIRE 'CAUSE ♪

THREW GASOLINE
ON THE FIRE 'CAUSE ♪
♪ IF SOMETHING MISREAD

ON THE FIRE 'CAUSE ♪
♪ IF SOMETHING MISREAD
OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID

♪ IF SOMETHING MISREAD
OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID
KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪

OR IF SOMETHING GOT SAID
KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪
♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S

KNOW BEFORE THE NIGHT ENDS ♪
♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S
GONNA GET FIGURED OUT

♪ NO DON'T GET STRESSED IT'S
GONNA GET FIGURED OUT
OH DEEP CONVERSATIONS

GONNA GET FIGURED OUT
OH DEEP CONVERSATIONS
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪

OH DEEP CONVERSATIONS
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER

AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER
AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪

♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER
AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE

AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE
WOULD TRY TO

♪ OH, THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS WE
WOULD TRY TO
KILL EACH OTHER ♪

WOULD TRY TO
KILL EACH OTHER ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW

KILL EACH OTHER ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW
IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪

♪ BUT YOU KNOW
IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA

IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA

♪ NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOVE ♪

NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA

YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS

NA NA NA NA ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS
GON' GET FIGURED OUT

♪ BUT YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS
GON' GET FIGURED OUT
DEEP CONVERSATIONS

GON' GET FIGURED OUT
DEEP CONVERSATIONS
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪

DEEP CONVERSATIONS
AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER

AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE ♪
♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER
AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪

♪ HEADSTRONG FATHER
AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS

AND A DETERMINED MOTHER ♪
♪ OH THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS
WE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER

♪ OH THAT'S WHY SOME NIGHTS
WE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER
BUT YOU KNOW

WE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER
BUT YOU KNOW
IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪

BUT YOU KNOW
IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA ♪

IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA ♪
OH YEAH NA NA NA NA

♪ NA NA NA ♪
OH YEAH NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOVE ♪

OH YEAH NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA

YOU KNOW IT'S ALL LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA
HEY NA NA NA NA

♪ NA NA NA
HEY NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪

HEY NA NA NA NA
YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA

YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS LOVE ♪
♪ NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND
UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND
MICHAEL CHE.

UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND
MICHAEL CHE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

MICHAEL CHE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

>>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."
I'M MICHAEL CHE.

>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."
I'M MICHAEL CHE.
>> I'M COLIN JOST.

I'M MICHAEL CHE.
>> I'M COLIN JOST.
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL IS

>> I'M COLIN JOST.
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL IS
CALLING ON RUSSIA TO RELEASE ONE

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL IS
CALLING ON RUSSIA TO RELEASE ONE
OF THEIR JOURNALISTS WHO WAS

CALLING ON RUSSIA TO RELEASE ONE
OF THEIR JOURNALISTS WHO WAS
ARRESTED ON ESPIONAGE CHARGES,

OF THEIR JOURNALISTS WHO WAS
ARRESTED ON ESPIONAGE CHARGES,
AND I MIGHT HAVE THE PERFECT

ARRESTED ON ESPIONAGE CHARGES,
AND I MIGHT HAVE THE PERFECT
IDEA FOR A PRISONER SWAP.

AND I MIGHT HAVE THE PERFECT
IDEA FOR A PRISONER SWAP.
FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS

IDEA FOR A PRISONER SWAP.
FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS
ARRAIGNED ON TUESDAY, AND A

FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS
ARRAIGNED ON TUESDAY, AND A
PHOTOGRAPHER RELEASED THIS PHOTO

ARRAIGNED ON TUESDAY, AND A
PHOTOGRAPHER RELEASED THIS PHOTO
OF TRUMP IN THE COURTROOM, AND I

PHOTOGRAPHER RELEASED THIS PHOTO
OF TRUMP IN THE COURTROOM, AND I
DON'T LIKE THAT HE'S SLANKED BY

OF TRUMP IN THE COURTROOM, AND I
DON'T LIKE THAT HE'S SLANKED BY
AN O.J. AMOUNT OF LAWYERS

DON'T LIKE THAT HE'S SLANKED BY
AN O.J. AMOUNT OF LAWYERS
BECAUSE THAT TELLS ME HE'S

AN O.J. AMOUNT OF LAWYERS
BECAUSE THAT TELLS ME HE'S
DEFINITELY GUILTY AND HE'S

BECAUSE THAT TELLS ME HE'S
DEFINITELY GUILTY AND HE'S
DEFINITELY GETTING AWAY WITH IT.

DEFINITELY GUILTY AND HE'S
DEFINITELY GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
TRUMP'S LAWYER, JOE TACOPINA,

DEFINITELY GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
TRUMP'S LAWYER, JOE TACOPINA,
AKA, PHONY SOPRANO, SAID THAT HE

TRUMP'S LAWYER, JOE TACOPINA,
AKA, PHONY SOPRANO, SAID THAT HE
DOESN'T THINK TRUMP IS GOING TO

AKA, PHONY SOPRANO, SAID THAT HE
DOESN'T THINK TRUMP IS GOING TO
GET A FAIR TRIAL IN MANHATTAN.

DOESN'T THINK TRUMP IS GOING TO
GET A FAIR TRIAL IN MANHATTAN.
I AGREE.

GET A FAIR TRIAL IN MANHATTAN.
I AGREE.
EVEN THE COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST

I AGREE.
EVEN THE COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST
SEEMS TO HATE HIM.

EVEN THE COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST
SEEMS TO HATE HIM.
WHEN HE SHOWED UP, I THOUGHT HE

SEEMS TO HATE HIM.
WHEN HE SHOWED UP, I THOUGHT HE
LOOKED PERFECTLY NICE.

WHEN HE SHOWED UP, I THOUGHT HE
LOOKED PERFECTLY NICE.
HE HAD BLENDED HIS FOUNDATION.

LOOKED PERFECTLY NICE.
HE HAD BLENDED HIS FOUNDATION.
HE HAD STAPLED DOWN HIS HAIR.

HE HAD BLENDED HIS FOUNDATION.
HE HAD STAPLED DOWN HIS HAIR.
BUT THE GUY STILL DREW HIM LIKE

HE HAD STAPLED DOWN HIS HAIR.
BUT THE GUY STILL DREW HIM LIKE
THE MUD MONSTER FROM SCOOBY-DOO,

BUT THE GUY STILL DREW HIM LIKE
THE MUD MONSTER FROM SCOOBY-DOO,
>> AFTER HIS ARRAIGNMENT, DONALD

THE MUD MONSTER FROM SCOOBY-DOO,
>> AFTER HIS ARRAIGNMENT, DONALD
TRUMP SPOKE TO SUPPORTERS AT

>> AFTER HIS ARRAIGNMENT, DONALD
TRUMP SPOKE TO SUPPORTERS AT
MAR-A-LAGO AND SAID THERE WAS A

TRUMP SPOKE TO SUPPORTERS AT
MAR-A-LAGO AND SAID THERE WAS A
VERY DARK CLOUD OVER OUR BELOVED

MAR-A-LAGO AND SAID THERE WAS A
VERY DARK CLOUD OVER OUR BELOVED
COUNTRY, WHICH IS ALSO WHAT HE

VERY DARK CLOUD OVER OUR BELOVED
COUNTRY, WHICH IS ALSO WHAT HE
USED TO CALL OBAMA.

COUNTRY, WHICH IS ALSO WHAT HE
USED TO CALL OBAMA.
INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT SINCE

USED TO CALL OBAMA.
INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT SINCE
DONALD TRUMP'S INDICTMENT, HIS

INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT SINCE
DONALD TRUMP'S INDICTMENT, HIS
DAUGHTER IVANKA HAS BEEN ABSENT,

DONALD TRUMP'S INDICTMENT, HIS
DAUGHTER IVANKA HAS BEEN ABSENT,
AND HIS OTHER DAUGHTER TIFFANY

DAUGHTER IVANKA HAS BEEN ABSENT,
AND HIS OTHER DAUGHTER TIFFANY
IS TRYING TO TAKE HER PLACE BY

AND HIS OTHER DAUGHTER TIFFANY
IS TRYING TO TAKE HER PLACE BY
HIS SIDE, JUST AS SOON AS SHE

IS TRYING TO TAKE HER PLACE BY
HIS SIDE, JUST AS SOON AS SHE
GETS THROUGH SECURITY.

HIS SIDE, JUST AS SOON AS SHE
GETS THROUGH SECURITY.
REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR

GETS THROUGH SECURITY.
REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR
GREEN SEEN HERE SHOUTING, JUMP,

REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR
GREEN SEEN HERE SHOUTING, JUMP,
YOU COWARD!

GREEN SEEN HERE SHOUTING, JUMP,
YOU COWARD!
VISITED NEW YORK TO PROTEST THE

YOU COWARD!
VISITED NEW YORK TO PROTEST THE
ARREST OF DONALD TRUMP AND

VISITED NEW YORK TO PROTEST THE
ARREST OF DONALD TRUMP AND
CALLED THE CITY FILTHY,

ARREST OF DONALD TRUMP AND
CALLED THE CITY FILTHY,
DISGUSTING, AND REPULSIVE.

CALLED THE CITY FILTHY,
DISGUSTING, AND REPULSIVE.
AS A NEW YORKER, LET ME JUST

DISGUSTING, AND REPULSIVE.
AS A NEW YORKER, LET ME JUST
SAY, YOU FORGOT RAT INFESTED.

AS A NEW YORKER, LET ME JUST
SAY, YOU FORGOT RAT INFESTED.
DON'T FORGET OUR RATS.

SAY, YOU FORGOT RAT INFESTED.
DON'T FORGET OUR RATS.
>> NEVER.

DON'T FORGET OUR RATS.
>> NEVER.
A NEW REPORT DECLARES FOR

>> NEVER.
A NEW REPORT DECLARES FOR
DECADES, CHARNS THOMAS AND HIS

A NEW REPORT DECLARES FOR
DECADES, CHARNS THOMAS AND HIS
WIFE WENT ON LUXURY TRIPS BY

DECADES, CHARNS THOMAS AND HIS
WIFE WENT ON LUXURY TRIPS BY
REPUBLICAN MEGADONOR, AND

WIFE WENT ON LUXURY TRIPS BY
REPUBLICAN MEGADONOR, AND
WHITEST GUY WITH THE BLACKEST

REPUBLICAN MEGADONOR, AND
WHITEST GUY WITH THE BLACKEST
NAME, HARLAN CROW.

WHITEST GUY WITH THE BLACKEST
NAME, HARLAN CROW.
BECAUSE JUSTICE THOMAS HANDLED

NAME, HARLAN CROW.
BECAUSE JUSTICE THOMAS HANDLED
GIFTS FROM REPUBLICANS THE SAME

BECAUSE JUSTICE THOMAS HANDLED
GIFTS FROM REPUBLICANS THE SAME
WAY HE HANDLES SUPREME COURT

GIFTS FROM REPUBLICANS THE SAME
WAY HE HANDLES SUPREME COURT
CASES, WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

WAY HE HANDLES SUPREME COURT
CASES, WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
IT WAS ALSO REPORTED TODAY THAT

CASES, WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
IT WAS ALSO REPORTED TODAY THAT
HARLAN CROW HAS A VAST

IT WAS ALSO REPORTED TODAY THAT
HARLAN CROW HAS A VAST
COLLECTION OF NAZI MEMORABILIA,

HARLAN CROW HAS A VAST
COLLECTION OF NAZI MEMORABILIA,
INCLUDING COPIES SIGNED BY

COLLECTION OF NAZI MEMORABILIA,
INCLUDING COPIES SIGNED BY
HITLER.

INCLUDING COPIES SIGNED BY
HITLER.
THE SIGNATURE READS, DEAR

HITLER.
THE SIGNATURE READS, DEAR
HARLAN, BIG FAN.

THE SIGNATURE READS, DEAR
HARLAN, BIG FAN.
>> TENNESSEE REPUBLICANS

HARLAN, BIG FAN.
>> TENNESSEE REPUBLICANS
EXPELLED TWO BLACK LAWMAKERS FOR

>> TENNESSEE REPUBLICANS
EXPELLED TWO BLACK LAWMAKERS FOR
PROTESTING GUN VIOLENCE, BUT DID

EXPELLED TWO BLACK LAWMAKERS FOR
PROTESTING GUN VIOLENCE, BUT DID
NOT EXPEL A WHITE PROTESTOR.

PROTESTING GUN VIOLENCE, BUT DID
NOT EXPEL A WHITE PROTESTOR.
THEY SAID, THEY KNOW WHAT IT

NOT EXPEL A WHITE PROTESTOR.
THEY SAID, THEY KNOW WHAT IT
LOOKED LIKE, BUT THEY WERE

THEY SAID, THEY KNOW WHAT IT
LOOKED LIKE, BUT THEY WERE
ACTUALLY EXPELLED BECAUSE THEIR

LOOKED LIKE, BUT THEY WERE
ACTUALLY EXPELLED BECAUSE THEIR
SKIN WAS BLACK.

ACTUALLY EXPELLED BECAUSE THEIR
SKIN WAS BLACK.
>> FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON

SKIN WAS BLACK.
>> FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON
DeSANTIS, WHO ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE

>> FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON
DeSANTIS, WHO ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE
SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO GO HOME AND

DeSANTIS, WHO ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE
SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO GO HOME AND
GET HIS SHINE BOX SIGNED A BILL

SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO GO HOME AND
GET HIS SHINE BOX SIGNED A BILL
THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE TO CARRY GUNS

GET HIS SHINE BOX SIGNED A BILL
THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE TO CARRY GUNS
WITHOUT A PERMIT.

THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE TO CARRY GUNS
WITHOUT A PERMIT.
BECAUSE FLORIDA IS DANGEROUS,

WITHOUT A PERMIT.
BECAUSE FLORIDA IS DANGEROUS,
AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SOMEONE

BECAUSE FLORIDA IS DANGEROUS,
AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SOMEONE
IS GOING TO RUN UP TO YOU AND

AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SOMEONE
IS GOING TO RUN UP TO YOU AND
SAY GAY.

IS GOING TO RUN UP TO YOU AND
SAY GAY.
>> JILL BIDEN WILL ATTEND THE

SAY GAY.
>> JILL BIDEN WILL ATTEND THE
CORONATION ALONG WITH HER PLUS

>> JILL BIDEN WILL ATTEND THE
CORONATION ALONG WITH HER PLUS
ONE, THE IOWA WOMEN'S BASKETBALL

CORONATION ALONG WITH HER PLUS
ONE, THE IOWA WOMEN'S BASKETBALL
TEAM.

ONE, THE IOWA WOMEN'S BASKETBALL
TEAM.
>> KING CHARLES SAID RESEARCHERS

TEAM.
>> KING CHARLES SAID RESEARCHERS
WILL BE GIVE ACCESS TO ROYAL AR

>> KING CHARLES SAID RESEARCHERS
WILL BE GIVE ACCESS TO ROYAL AR
KOOIS AFS IT WAS DISCOVERED HIS

WILL BE GIVE ACCESS TO ROYAL AR
KOOIS AFS IT WAS DISCOVERED HIS
ANCESTORS HAD STAKE IN A

KOOIS AFS IT WAS DISCOVERED HIS
ANCESTORS HAD STAKE IN A
SLAVE-TRADING COMPANY.

ANCESTORS HAD STAKE IN A
SLAVE-TRADING COMPANY.
YEAH, IT WAS CALLED ENGLAND.

SLAVE-TRADING COMPANY.
YEAH, IT WAS CALLED ENGLAND.
>> THIS WEEK, RON DeSANTIS

YEAH, IT WAS CALLED ENGLAND.
>> THIS WEEK, RON DeSANTIS
RAMPED UP HIS WAR ON DISNEY.

>> THIS WEEK, RON DeSANTIS
RAMPED UP HIS WAR ON DISNEY.
HERE TO COMMENT IS THE VILLAIN

RAMPED UP HIS WAR ON DISNEY.
HERE TO COMMENT IS THE VILLAIN
FROM THE MOVIE ALADDIN, JAFAR.

HERE TO COMMENT IS THE VILLAIN
FROM THE MOVIE ALADDIN, JAFAR.
>> HELLO, MICHAEL.

FROM THE MOVIE ALADDIN, JAFAR.
>> HELLO, MICHAEL.
SO THIS IS THE FAMOUS

>> HELLO, MICHAEL.
SO THIS IS THE FAMOUS
ROCKEFELLER PALACE.

SO THIS IS THE FAMOUS
ROCKEFELLER PALACE.
>> OKAY.

ROCKEFELLER PALACE.
>> OKAY.
SO, JAFAR, AS A DISNEY

>> OKAY.
SO, JAFAR, AS A DISNEY
CHARACTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

SO, JAFAR, AS A DISNEY
CHARACTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
RON DeSANTIS?

CHARACTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
RON DeSANTIS?
>> YOU MEAN, THE BOY?

RON DeSANTIS?
>> YOU MEAN, THE BOY?
WELL, MICHAEL, AS FAR AS

>> YOU MEAN, THE BOY?
WELL, MICHAEL, AS FAR AS
VILLAINS GO, THE BOY IS AN

WELL, MICHAEL, AS FAR AS
VILLAINS GO, THE BOY IS AN
AMATEUR.

VILLAINS GO, THE BOY IS AN
AMATEUR.
HE HAS NO RIZ, NO SPARK, NO

AMATEUR.
HE HAS NO RIZ, NO SPARK, NO
DRIP.

HE HAS NO RIZ, NO SPARK, NO
DRIP.
THE LOOK IS GIVING BABY MAYOR.

DRIP.
THE LOOK IS GIVING BABY MAYOR.
HE DID WEAR THOSE WHITE COWBOY

THE LOOK IS GIVING BABY MAYOR.
HE DID WEAR THOSE WHITE COWBOY
BOOTS, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, THEY

HE DID WEAR THOSE WHITE COWBOY
BOOTS, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, THEY
WORE HIM.

BOOTS, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, THEY
WORE HIM.
>> WELL, HE MIGHT NOT LOOK THE

WORE HIM.
>> WELL, HE MIGHT NOT LOOK THE
PART, BUT ARE YOU SAYING

>> WELL, HE MIGHT NOT LOOK THE
PART, BUT ARE YOU SAYING
DeSANTIS ISN'T BAD ENOUGH?

PART, BUT ARE YOU SAYING
DeSANTIS ISN'T BAD ENOUGH?
>> NOT AT ALL.

DeSANTIS ISN'T BAD ENOUGH?
>> NOT AT ALL.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.

>> NOT AT ALL.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
THE BOY IS PLENTY EVIL.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.
THE BOY IS PLENTY EVIL.
BANNING ROSA PARKS IN SCHOOLS.

THE BOY IS PLENTY EVIL.
BANNING ROSA PARKS IN SCHOOLS.
I'M A DARK SOURCER, AND HEN I

BANNING ROSA PARKS IN SCHOOLS.
I'M A DARK SOURCER, AND HEN I
WAS LIKE, IT'S ROSA PARKS.

I'M A DARK SOURCER, AND HEN I
WAS LIKE, IT'S ROSA PARKS.
>> NOW HE'S COMING AFTER DISNEY

WAS LIKE, IT'S ROSA PARKS.
>> NOW HE'S COMING AFTER DISNEY
BECAUSE OF HIS STANCE OF THE

>> NOW HE'S COMING AFTER DISNEY
BECAUSE OF HIS STANCE OF THE
DON'T SAY GAY BILL.

BECAUSE OF HIS STANCE OF THE
DON'T SAY GAY BILL.
>> YOU CAN'T PREVENT DISNEY

DON'T SAY GAY BILL.
>> YOU CAN'T PREVENT DISNEY
WORLD FROM BEING GAY.

>> YOU CAN'T PREVENT DISNEY
WORLD FROM BEING GAY.
THAT CARPET HAS FLOWN.

WORLD FROM BEING GAY.
THAT CARPET HAS FLOWN.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THAT CARPET HAS FLOWN.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> NO, I REALLY DON'T.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> NO, I REALLY DON'T.
>> I MEAN IF YOU OPEN UP GRINDER

>> NO, I REALLY DON'T.
>> I MEAN IF YOU OPEN UP GRINDER
ON MAIN STREET USA, YOUR PHONE

>> I MEAN IF YOU OPEN UP GRINDER
ON MAIN STREET USA, YOUR PHONE
EXPLODES.

ON MAIN STREET USA, YOUR PHONE
EXPLODES.
EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE PARK,

EXPLODES.
EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE PARK,
IT'S NOTHING BUT 40-YEAR-OLD MEN

EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE PARK,
IT'S NOTHING BUT 40-YEAR-OLD MEN
WITH BRACES.

IT'S NOTHING BUT 40-YEAR-OLD MEN
WITH BRACES.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT

WITH BRACES.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT
IT AIN'T STRAIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT
IT AIN'T STRAIGHT.
>> OH, ARE YOU SAYING THAT

IT AIN'T STRAIGHT.
>> OH, ARE YOU SAYING THAT
YOU'RE --

>> OH, ARE YOU SAYING THAT
YOU'RE --
>> A LITTLE LIGHT IN THE

YOU'RE --
>> A LITTLE LIGHT IN THE
LOAFERS?

>> A LITTLE LIGHT IN THE
LOAFERS?
DID MY STASH NOT TIP YOU OFF?

LOAFERS?
DID MY STASH NOT TIP YOU OFF?
OF COURSE I'M GAY, YOU FOOL.

DID MY STASH NOT TIP YOU OFF?
OF COURSE I'M GAY, YOU FOOL.
MY EYE LINER ON POINT.

OF COURSE I'M GAY, YOU FOOL.
MY EYE LINER ON POINT.
MY FORM AS A YOLKED GENIE WITH

MY EYE LINER ON POINT.
MY FORM AS A YOLKED GENIE WITH
NAILS.

MY FORM AS A YOLKED GENIE WITH
NAILS.
YEAH, MICHAEL, I LOVE COOCH.

NAILS.
YEAH, MICHAEL, I LOVE COOCH.
>> I GOT IT.

YEAH, MICHAEL, I LOVE COOCH.
>> I GOT IT.
WELL, SEEMS LIKE DeSANTIS

>> I GOT IT.
WELL, SEEMS LIKE DeSANTIS
DOESN'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING

WELL, SEEMS LIKE DeSANTIS
DOESN'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING
REMOTELY GAY HAPPENING AT DISNEY

DOESN'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING
REMOTELY GAY HAPPENING AT DISNEY
WORLD AT ALL.

REMOTELY GAY HAPPENING AT DISNEY
WORLD AT ALL.
>> THERE'S ALREADY A DISNEY

WORLD AT ALL.
>> THERE'S ALREADY A DISNEY
WORLD WHERE NOTHING GAY HAPPENS.

>> THERE'S ALREADY A DISNEY
WORLD WHERE NOTHING GAY HAPPENS.
IT'S CALLED SIX FLAGS.

WORLD WHERE NOTHING GAY HAPPENS.
IT'S CALLED SIX FLAGS.
THERE ARE LOTS OF DIFFERENCES AT

IT'S CALLED SIX FLAGS.
THERE ARE LOTS OF DIFFERENCES AT
DISNEY, MICHAEL.

THERE ARE LOTS OF DIFFERENCES AT
DISNEY, MICHAEL.
URSULA IS A LESBIAN, SCAR IS BI,

DISNEY, MICHAEL.
URSULA IS A LESBIAN, SCAR IS BI,
AND MULAN JUST GOT TOP SURGE ARE

URSULA IS A LESBIAN, SCAR IS BI,
AND MULAN JUST GOT TOP SURGE ARE
I.

AND MULAN JUST GOT TOP SURGE ARE
I.
NOW IF I MAY, I WOULD LIKE TO

I.
NOW IF I MAY, I WOULD LIKE TO
ADDRESS THE BOY, DeSANTIS.

NOW IF I MAY, I WOULD LIKE TO
ADDRESS THE BOY, DeSANTIS.
WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE SWAMP RAT.

ADDRESS THE BOY, DeSANTIS.
WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE SWAMP RAT.
BRAVO ATTEMPTING TO SEE THE

WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE SWAMP RAT.
BRAVO ATTEMPTING TO SEE THE
PRECIOUS LAND ONLY IT WOULD BE

BRAVO ATTEMPTING TO SEE THE
PRECIOUS LAND ONLY IT WOULD BE
THWARTED AGAIN BY THE HOUSE OF

PRECIOUS LAND ONLY IT WOULD BE
THWARTED AGAIN BY THE HOUSE OF
MOUSE.

THWARTED AGAIN BY THE HOUSE OF
MOUSE.
YOU CAN TRY TO STOP US, BOY, BUT

MOUSE.
YOU CAN TRY TO STOP US, BOY, BUT
WE WILL OUTSMART YOU AT EVERY

YOU CAN TRY TO STOP US, BOY, BUT
WE WILL OUTSMART YOU AT EVERY
TURN.

WE WILL OUTSMART YOU AT EVERY
TURN.
DON'T SAY GAY?

TURN.
DON'T SAY GAY?
WELL, IF THERE IS NO GAY, THERE

DON'T SAY GAY?
WELL, IF THERE IS NO GAY, THERE
IS NO DISNEY, AND EVERYONE LOVES

WELL, IF THERE IS NO GAY, THERE
IS NO DISNEY, AND EVERYONE LOVES
DISNEY, INCLUDING YOU BECAUSE

IS NO DISNEY, AND EVERYONE LOVES
DISNEY, INCLUDING YOU BECAUSE
YOUR DUMB ASS GOT MARRIED THERE,

DISNEY, INCLUDING YOU BECAUSE
YOUR DUMB ASS GOT MARRIED THERE,
AND THAT'S THE GAYEST THING YOU

YOUR DUMB ASS GOT MARRIED THERE,
AND THAT'S THE GAYEST THING YOU
CAN DO!

AND THAT'S THE GAYEST THING YOU
CAN DO!
SO I'M SORRY, THE GAYS SHALL

CAN DO!
SO I'M SORRY, THE GAYS SHALL
STAY, AND YOU CACHE AWAY.

SO I'M SORRY, THE GAYS SHALL
STAY, AND YOU CACHE AWAY.
WHERE WERE WE, MICHAEL?

STAY, AND YOU CACHE AWAY.
WHERE WERE WE, MICHAEL?
OH, YES, YOUR EARRING, IT

WHERE WERE WE, MICHAEL?
OH, YES, YOUR EARRING, IT
INTRIGUES ME.

OH, YES, YOUR EARRING, IT
INTRIGUES ME.
>> NO, NO, NO.

INTRIGUES ME.
>> NO, NO, NO.
JAFAR, EVERYBODY.

>> NO, NO, NO.
JAFAR, EVERYBODY.
>> I SAW YOU AT THE GRAND

JAFAR, EVERYBODY.
>> I SAW YOU AT THE GRAND
FLORIDIAN.

>> I SAW YOU AT THE GRAND
FLORIDIAN.
IT WAS A GORGEOUS WEDDING.

FLORIDIAN.
IT WAS A GORGEOUS WEDDING.
>> FLORIDIAN.

IT WAS A GORGEOUS WEDDING.
>> FLORIDIAN.
>> THAT'S A GREAT EARRING.

>> FLORIDIAN.
>> THAT'S A GREAT EARRING.
A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT THE

>> THAT'S A GREAT EARRING.
A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT THE
AVERAGE CHILD THROWS A TANTRUM

A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT THE
AVERAGE CHILD THROWS A TANTRUM
FOUR TIMES A WEEK, WEEKNIGHTS ON

AVERAGE CHILD THROWS A TANTRUM
FOUR TIMES A WEEK, WEEKNIGHTS ON
FOX.

FOUR TIMES A WEEK, WEEKNIGHTS ON
FOX.
>> RUPERT MURDOCH'S ENGAGEMENT

FOX.
>> RUPERT MURDOCH'S ENGAGEMENT
TO ANN LESLIE SMITH HAS BEEN

>> RUPERT MURDOCH'S ENGAGEMENT
TO ANN LESLIE SMITH HAS BEEN
CALLED OFF.

TO ANN LESLIE SMITH HAS BEEN
CALLED OFF.
APPARENTLY, SHE GOT COLD FEET

CALLED OFF.
APPARENTLY, SHE GOT COLD FEET
AFTER MURDOCH PASSED HIS

APPARENTLY, SHE GOT COLD FEET
AFTER MURDOCH PASSED HIS
PHYSICAL.

AFTER MURDOCH PASSED HIS
PHYSICAL.
IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY, POPE

PHYSICAL.
IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY, POPE
FRANCIS PRAISES THE SIR CHEWS OF

IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY, POPE
FRANCIS PRAISES THE SIR CHEWS OF
SEX, CALLING IT ONE OF THE

FRANCIS PRAISES THE SIR CHEWS OF
SEX, CALLING IT ONE OF THE
BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAT GOD HAS

SEX, CALLING IT ONE OF THE
BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAT GOD HAS
GIVEN TO THE HUMAN PERSON.

BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAT GOD HAS
GIVEN TO THE HUMAN PERSON.
NOT THE WAY I DO IT.

GIVEN TO THE HUMAN PERSON.
NOT THE WAY I DO IT.
AM I RIGHT, COLIN?

NOT THE WAY I DO IT.
AM I RIGHT, COLIN?
>> NO.

AM I RIGHT, COLIN?
>> NO.
>> OKAY.

>> NO.
>> OKAY.
>> I HOPE NOT.

>> OKAY.
>> I HOPE NOT.
I DON'T KNOW.

>> I HOPE NOT.
I DON'T KNOW.
A WOMAN HAS BEEN TRAVELING THE

I DON'T KNOW.
A WOMAN HAS BEEN TRAVELING THE
WORLD SO SHE'S GONE ON 34 FIRST

A WOMAN HAS BEEN TRAVELING THE
WORLD SO SHE'S GONE ON 34 FIRST
DATES IN NEARLY 20 COUNTRIES.

WORLD SO SHE'S GONE ON 34 FIRST
DATES IN NEARLY 20 COUNTRIES.
HERE SECRET?

DATES IN NEARLY 20 COUNTRIES.
HERE SECRET?
SHE'S BEING SEX TRAFFICKED.

HERE SECRET?
SHE'S BEING SEX TRAFFICKED.
>> THERE WAS CONTROVERSY THIS

SHE'S BEING SEX TRAFFICKED.
>> THERE WAS CONTROVERSY THIS
WEEK WHEN LSU WOMEN'S BASKETBALL

>> THERE WAS CONTROVERSY THIS
WEEK WHEN LSU WOMEN'S BASKETBALL
STAR ANGEL REESE REFUSED AN

WEEK WHEN LSU WOMEN'S BASKETBALL
STAR ANGEL REESE REFUSED AN
INVITATION TO THE WHITE HOUSE TO

STAR ANGEL REESE REFUSED AN
INVITATION TO THE WHITE HOUSE TO
CELEBRATE HER TEAM'S NATIONAL

INVITATION TO THE WHITE HOUSE TO
CELEBRATE HER TEAM'S NATIONAL
CHAMPIONSHIP.

CELEBRATE HER TEAM'S NATIONAL
CHAMPIONSHIP.
BUT NOW SHE HAS DECIDED TO GO.

CHAMPIONSHIP.
BUT NOW SHE HAS DECIDED TO GO.
SO HERE TO COMMENT IS ANGEL

BUT NOW SHE HAS DECIDED TO GO.
SO HERE TO COMMENT IS ANGEL
REESE.

SO HERE TO COMMENT IS ANGEL
REESE.
>> YEAH, THE BAYOU BARBIE IS IN

REESE.
>> YEAH, THE BAYOU BARBIE IS IN
THE BUILDING.

>> YEAH, THE BAYOU BARBIE IS IN
THE BUILDING.
LOUISIANA, STAND UP.

THE BUILDING.
LOUISIANA, STAND UP.
>> WELL, ANGEL, YOU HAD QUITE A

LOUISIANA, STAND UP.
>> WELL, ANGEL, YOU HAD QUITE A
WEEK.

>> WELL, ANGEL, YOU HAD QUITE A
WEEK.
>> YEAH.

WEEK.
>> YEAH.
I GOT PEOPLE BIG MAD.

>> YEAH.
I GOT PEOPLE BIG MAD.
FIRST THEY WAS MAD BECAUSE I WAS

I GOT PEOPLE BIG MAD.
FIRST THEY WAS MAD BECAUSE I WAS
TAUNTING, BUT ALL I DID WAS

FIRST THEY WAS MAD BECAUSE I WAS
TAUNTING, BUT ALL I DID WAS
THIS.

TAUNTING, BUT ALL I DID WAS
THIS.
YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I PULLED

THIS.
YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I PULLED
MY NIPPLE OUT AND FLICKED IT ON

YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I PULLED
MY NIPPLE OUT AND FLICKED IT ON
NATIONAL TV.

MY NIPPLE OUT AND FLICKED IT ON
NATIONAL TV.
THEN THEY WERE MAD BECAUSE I

NATIONAL TV.
THEN THEY WERE MAD BECAUSE I
DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO THE WHITE

THEN THEY WERE MAD BECAUSE I
DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO THE WHITE
HOUSE.

DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO THE WHITE
HOUSE.
BUT, CHE, THEY INVITED IOWA TOO.

HOUSE.
BUT, CHE, THEY INVITED IOWA TOO.
>> BUT THEY LOST.

BUT, CHE, THEY INVITED IOWA TOO.
>> BUT THEY LOST.
>> EXACTLY.

>> BUT THEY LOST.
>> EXACTLY.
IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS, WHEN

>> EXACTLY.
IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS, WHEN
YOU LOSE, YOU TAKE YOUR ASS

IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS, WHEN
YOU LOSE, YOU TAKE YOUR ASS
HOME.

YOU LOSE, YOU TAKE YOUR ASS
HOME.
BUT THEN, WHITE GIRLS LOSE, AND

HOME.
BUT THEN, WHITE GIRLS LOSE, AND
SUDDENLY, IT'S ALL TEAMS MATTER.

BUT THEN, WHITE GIRLS LOSE, AND
SUDDENLY, IT'S ALL TEAMS MATTER.
>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED

SUDDENLY, IT'S ALL TEAMS MATTER.
>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED
YOUR MIND.

>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED
YOUR MIND.
THAT WILL BE PRETTY COOL.

YOUR MIND.
THAT WILL BE PRETTY COOL.
>> YEAH.

THAT WILL BE PRETTY COOL.
>> YEAH.
IT WILL BE COOL, FOR THEM.

>> YEAH.
IT WILL BE COOL, FOR THEM.
I'M A BIG DEAL NOW, CHE.

IT WILL BE COOL, FOR THEM.
I'M A BIG DEAL NOW, CHE.
SINCE COLLEGE PLAYERS GET

I'M A BIG DEAL NOW, CHE.
SINCE COLLEGE PLAYERS GET
ENDORSEMENTS NOW, I'M ABOUT TO

SINCE COLLEGE PLAYERS GET
ENDORSEMENTS NOW, I'M ABOUT TO
CASH IN.

ENDORSEMENTS NOW, I'M ABOUT TO
CASH IN.
AND MY BRAND WORKS FOR ANYTHING.

CASH IN.
AND MY BRAND WORKS FOR ANYTHING.
HOW THIS SOUND, CHE?

AND MY BRAND WORKS FOR ANYTHING.
HOW THIS SOUND, CHE?
DEGREE DEODERANT, Y'ALL STANK.

HOW THIS SOUND, CHE?
DEGREE DEODERANT, Y'ALL STANK.
>> IT SEEMS AGGRESSIVE.

DEGREE DEODERANT, Y'ALL STANK.
>> IT SEEMS AGGRESSIVE.
>> OKAY.

>> IT SEEMS AGGRESSIVE.
>> OKAY.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

>> OKAY.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
GARDEN GNOMES, MAN, GET YOUR LIL

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
GARDEN GNOMES, MAN, GET YOUR LIL
ASS OUT MY FACE!

GARDEN GNOMES, MAN, GET YOUR LIL
ASS OUT MY FACE!
>> THAT'S A COMMERCIAL FOR

ASS OUT MY FACE!
>> THAT'S A COMMERCIAL FOR
GARDEN GNOMES?

>> THAT'S A COMMERCIAL FOR
GARDEN GNOMES?
>> YEAH.

GARDEN GNOMES?
>> YEAH.
IT'S THE MONEY, RIGHT?

>> YEAH.
IT'S THE MONEY, RIGHT?
NOW, HERE'S MY FAVORITE.

IT'S THE MONEY, RIGHT?
NOW, HERE'S MY FAVORITE.
BIG-ASS EYELASHES, EMPOWERING

NOW, HERE'S MY FAVORITE.
BIG-ASS EYELASHES, EMPOWERING
WOMEN BALLERS AND -- SINCE 1972.

BIG-ASS EYELASHES, EMPOWERING
WOMEN BALLERS AND -- SINCE 1972.
>> I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE

WOMEN BALLERS AND -- SINCE 1972.
>> I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE
MOMENT.

>> I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE
MOMENT.
>> YEAH, I AM.

MOMENT.
>> YEAH, I AM.
LAST WEEK, WOMEN'S SPORTS WAS

>> YEAH, I AM.
LAST WEEK, WOMEN'S SPORTS WAS
BORING, NOW ALL Y'ALL TALKING

LAST WEEK, WOMEN'S SPORTS WAS
BORING, NOW ALL Y'ALL TALKING
ABOUT WOMEN SPORTS THIS WEEK.

BORING, NOW ALL Y'ALL TALKING
ABOUT WOMEN SPORTS THIS WEEK.
MAN, I DROPPED 15 ON IOWA.

ABOUT WOMEN SPORTS THIS WEEK.
MAN, I DROPPED 15 ON IOWA.
I WENT HARD IN THE PAINT.

MAN, I DROPPED 15 ON IOWA.
I WENT HARD IN THE PAINT.
I DROPPED TEN BOARDS WITHOUT

I WENT HARD IN THE PAINT.
I DROPPED TEN BOARDS WITHOUT
EVEN MESSING UP ANY EYELASHES.

I DROPPED TEN BOARDS WITHOUT
EVEN MESSING UP ANY EYELASHES.
THE ONLY THING I REGRET IS NOT

EVEN MESSING UP ANY EYELASHES.
THE ONLY THING I REGRET IS NOT
GETTING MORE BUCKETS.

THE ONLY THING I REGRET IS NOT
GETTING MORE BUCKETS.
I COULD HAVE PICKED THAT BALL

GETTING MORE BUCKETS.
I COULD HAVE PICKED THAT BALL
UP, DROPPED IT ON THE GIRL'S

I COULD HAVE PICKED THAT BALL
UP, DROPPED IT ON THE GIRL'S
HEAD LIKE I WAS ON AN AND-ONE

UP, DROPPED IT ON THE GIRL'S
HEAD LIKE I WAS ON AN AND-ONE
TOUR, BUT I WAS IN FOUL TROUBLE,

HEAD LIKE I WAS ON AN AND-ONE
TOUR, BUT I WAS IN FOUL TROUBLE,
SO I HAD TO CHILL.

TOUR, BUT I WAS IN FOUL TROUBLE,
SO I HAD TO CHILL.
AND NOW I'M SITTING BACK GETTING

SO I HAD TO CHILL.
AND NOW I'M SITTING BACK GETTING
ALL THIS BABY GAP MONEY.

AND NOW I'M SITTING BACK GETTING
ALL THIS BABY GAP MONEY.
>> WHY ARE YOU ENDORSED BY BABY

ALL THIS BABY GAP MONEY.
>> WHY ARE YOU ENDORSED BY BABY
GAP?

>> WHY ARE YOU ENDORSED BY BABY
GAP?
>> BECAUSE ALL THESE BITCHES IS

GAP?
>> BECAUSE ALL THESE BITCHES IS
MY SON.

>> BECAUSE ALL THESE BITCHES IS
MY SON.
>> ANGEL, REESE, EVERYBODY.

MY SON.
>> ANGEL, REESE, EVERYBODY.
>> YOU CAN'T SEE ME.

>> ANGEL, REESE, EVERYBODY.
>> YOU CAN'T SEE ME.
WE GOING BACK TO BACK.

>> YOU CAN'T SEE ME.
WE GOING BACK TO BACK.
ANGEL REESE.

WE GOING BACK TO BACK.
ANGEL REESE.
>> A NEW APP CALLED GREET HER IS

ANGEL REESE.
>> A NEW APP CALLED GREET HER IS
DESIGNED TO HELP WOMEN TRAVEL

>> A NEW APP CALLED GREET HER IS
DESIGNED TO HELP WOMEN TRAVEL
ALONE SAFELY BY PROVIDING PEOPLE

DESIGNED TO HELP WOMEN TRAVEL
ALONE SAFELY BY PROVIDING PEOPLE
TO GREET THEM WHEN THEY ARRIVE

ALONE SAFELY BY PROVIDING PEOPLE
TO GREET THEM WHEN THEY ARRIVE
AT AIRPORTS OR HOTELS, AND IT'S

TO GREET THEM WHEN THEY ARRIVE
AT AIRPORTS OR HOTELS, AND IT'S
BEING USED FOR MURDER.

AT AIRPORTS OR HOTELS, AND IT'S
BEING USED FOR MURDER.
>> A VIRGINIA MAN WHO PRANKS

BEING USED FOR MURDER.
>> A VIRGINIA MAN WHO PRANKS
PEOPLE FOR YOUTUBE VIDEOS WAS

>> A VIRGINIA MAN WHO PRANKS
PEOPLE FOR YOUTUBE VIDEOS WAS
SHOT WHILE TRICKING SOMEONE IN A

PEOPLE FOR YOUTUBE VIDEOS WAS
SHOT WHILE TRICKING SOMEONE IN A
MALL.

SHOT WHILE TRICKING SOMEONE IN A
MALL.
GOOD.

MALL.
GOOD.
A 106-YEAR-OLD WOMAN IN THE

GOOD.
A 106-YEAR-OLD WOMAN IN THE
PHILIPPINES HAS BECOME THE

A 106-YEAR-OLD WOMAN IN THE
PHILIPPINES HAS BECOME THE
OLDEST VOGUE COVER MODEL EVER,

PHILIPPINES HAS BECOME THE
OLDEST VOGUE COVER MODEL EVER,
BEATING THE PREVIOUS RECORD OF

OLDEST VOGUE COVER MODEL EVER,
BEATING THE PREVIOUS RECORD OF
29.

BEATING THE PREVIOUS RECORD OF
29.
>> A JEOPARDY CONTESTANT THIS

29.
>> A JEOPARDY CONTESTANT THIS
WEEK WAS FORCED TO QUIT SOCIAL

>> A JEOPARDY CONTESTANT THIS
WEEK WAS FORCED TO QUIT SOCIAL
MEDIA AFTER PEOPLE SAID HIS

WEEK WAS FORCED TO QUIT SOCIAL
MEDIA AFTER PEOPLE SAID HIS
MUSTACHE LOOKED LIKE HITLERS.

MEDIA AFTER PEOPLE SAID HIS
MUSTACHE LOOKED LIKE HITLERS.
THE CONTESTANT SAID HE'S SO MAD

MUSTACHE LOOKED LIKE HITLERS.
THE CONTESTANT SAID HE'S SO MAD
THAT HE'S HAD IT UP TO HERE.

THE CONTESTANT SAID HE'S SO MAD
THAT HE'S HAD IT UP TO HERE.
>> NASA HAS NAMED THE FOUR

THAT HE'S HAD IT UP TO HERE.
>> NASA HAS NAMED THE FOUR
ASTRONAUTS IT WILL SEND ON THE

>> NASA HAS NAMED THE FOUR
ASTRONAUTS IT WILL SEND ON THE
ARTEMIS II MISSION TO THE MOON.

ASTRONAUTS IT WILL SEND ON THE
ARTEMIS II MISSION TO THE MOON.
IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I THINK

ARTEMIS II MISSION TO THE MOON.
IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I THINK
I KNOW WHO'S DYING FIRST.

IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I THINK
I KNOW WHO'S DYING FIRST.
HE CAN DO THE HITLER SALUTE,

I KNOW WHO'S DYING FIRST.
HE CAN DO THE HITLER SALUTE,
THOUGH.

HE CAN DO THE HITLER SALUTE,
THOUGH.
>> LAST WEEK, DATA SHOWED MORE

THOUGH.
>> LAST WEEK, DATA SHOWED MORE
AMERICANS ARE RETURNING TO THE

>> LAST WEEK, DATA SHOWED MORE
AMERICANS ARE RETURNING TO THE
OFFICE IN PERSON.

AMERICANS ARE RETURNING TO THE
OFFICE IN PERSON.
HERE TO COMMENT IS YOUR COWORKER

OFFICE IN PERSON.
HERE TO COMMENT IS YOUR COWORKER
SEEMINGLY BUSY DOING NOTHING.

HERE TO COMMENT IS YOUR COWORKER
SEEMINGLY BUSY DOING NOTHING.
>> WE GOT TO MAKE THIS QUICK

SEEMINGLY BUSY DOING NOTHING.
>> WE GOT TO MAKE THIS QUICK
BECAUSE I REALLY GOT TO GET

>> WE GOT TO MAKE THIS QUICK
BECAUSE I REALLY GOT TO GET
BACK.

BECAUSE I REALLY GOT TO GET
BACK.
I GOT TO GET BACK.

BACK.
I GOT TO GET BACK.
>> OH, OKAY.

I GOT TO GET BACK.
>> OH, OKAY.
WELL, YOU JUST GOT HERE,

>> OH, OKAY.
WELL, YOU JUST GOT HERE,
CRYSTAL.

WELL, YOU JUST GOT HERE,
CRYSTAL.
AND THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

CRYSTAL.
AND THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> ICE BREAKER, ICE BREAKER.

AND THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> ICE BREAKER, ICE BREAKER.
COLIN, HOW ARE YOU?

>> ICE BREAKER, ICE BREAKER.
COLIN, HOW ARE YOU?
DON'T ANSWER THAT.

COLIN, HOW ARE YOU?
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
LITERALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO

DON'T ANSWER THAT.
LITERALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO
HEAR YOUR ANSWER.

LITERALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO
HEAR YOUR ANSWER.
I AM SO SLAMMED.

HEAR YOUR ANSWER.
I AM SO SLAMMED.
>> SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK.

I AM SO SLAMMED.
>> SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK.
>> UM, THIS.

>> SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK.
>> UM, THIS.
>> WOW.

>> UM, THIS.
>> WOW.
OKAY.

>> WOW.
OKAY.
WELL, I GUESS I WOULD LOVE TO

OKAY.
WELL, I GUESS I WOULD LOVE TO
GET A SENSE OF WHAT YOU DO IN A

WELL, I GUESS I WOULD LOVE TO
GET A SENSE OF WHAT YOU DO IN A
DAY.

GET A SENSE OF WHAT YOU DO IN A
DAY.
>> UM, YEAH.

DAY.
>> UM, YEAH.
WHAT DON'T I DO?

>> UM, YEAH.
WHAT DON'T I DO?
OKAY.

WHAT DON'T I DO?
OKAY.
ASK MY TEAM.

OKAY.
ASK MY TEAM.
WHERE ARE THEY?

ASK MY TEAM.
WHERE ARE THEY?
ON MY BACK.

WHERE ARE THEY?
ON MY BACK.
AND MY PHONE'S BLOWING UP.

ON MY BACK.
AND MY PHONE'S BLOWING UP.
I'M IN HELL.

AND MY PHONE'S BLOWING UP.
I'M IN HELL.
>> I'M SORRY YOU'RE SO SLAMMED,

I'M IN HELL.
>> I'M SORRY YOU'RE SO SLAMMED,
CRYSTAL.

>> I'M SORRY YOU'RE SO SLAMMED,
CRYSTAL.
>> I NEED A VACATION, BUT

CRYSTAL.
>> I NEED A VACATION, BUT
KNOWING ME, I WOULD BRING MY

>> I NEED A VACATION, BUT
KNOWING ME, I WOULD BRING MY
WORK PHONE, AKA, MY HUSBAND.

KNOWING ME, I WOULD BRING MY
WORK PHONE, AKA, MY HUSBAND.
>> OKAY.

WORK PHONE, AKA, MY HUSBAND.
>> OKAY.
WELL, I DON'T LOVE THAT YOU

>> OKAY.
WELL, I DON'T LOVE THAT YOU
KISSED YOUR PHONE.

WELL, I DON'T LOVE THAT YOU
KISSED YOUR PHONE.
I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOUR

KISSED YOUR PHONE.
I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOUR
JOB IS.

I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOUR
JOB IS.
>> COLIN, TO EXPLAIN IT, THE

JOB IS.
>> COLIN, TO EXPLAIN IT, THE
LEVEL I WOULD HAVE TO START OUT,

>> COLIN, TO EXPLAIN IT, THE
LEVEL I WOULD HAVE TO START OUT,
I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE THE BAND

LEVEL I WOULD HAVE TO START OUT,
I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE THE BAND
WIDTH -- OH, MY -- OH, MY -- OH,

I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE THE BAND
WIDTH -- OH, MY -- OH, MY -- OH,
MY GOD.

WIDTH -- OH, MY -- OH, MY -- OH,
MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD, OKAY.

MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD, OKAY.
OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD, OKAY.
OH, MY GOD.
>> ALL RIGHT.

OH, MY GOD.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> LOOK.

>> ALL RIGHT.
>> LOOK.
>> YEAH.

>> LOOK.
>> YEAH.
THIS IS A SIGNUP SHEET FOR

>> YEAH.
THIS IS A SIGNUP SHEET FOR
BIRTHDAY CAKE.

THIS IS A SIGNUP SHEET FOR
BIRTHDAY CAKE.
>> YEAH.

BIRTHDAY CAKE.
>> YEAH.
YEP.

>> YEAH.
YEP.
AND THEN BRINGING OREO

YEP.
AND THEN BRINGING OREO
CHEESECAKE.

AND THEN BRINGING OREO
CHEESECAKE.
THAT AIN'T GONNA WORK.

CHEESECAKE.
THAT AIN'T GONNA WORK.
THERE GOES MY EASTER SUNDAY.

THAT AIN'T GONNA WORK.
THERE GOES MY EASTER SUNDAY.
>> WHY WOULD THERE GO YOUR

THERE GOES MY EASTER SUNDAY.
>> WHY WOULD THERE GO YOUR
EASTER SUNDAY?

>> WHY WOULD THERE GO YOUR
EASTER SUNDAY?
>> AND DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, I'M

EASTER SUNDAY?
>> AND DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, I'M
SCREWED.

>> AND DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, I'M
SCREWED.
>> CRYSTAL, CAN YOU JUST TELL ME

SCREWED.
>> CRYSTAL, CAN YOU JUST TELL ME
ONE THING YOU DO?

>> CRYSTAL, CAN YOU JUST TELL ME
ONE THING YOU DO?
>> YEAH.

ONE THING YOU DO?
>> YEAH.
OKAY.

>> YEAH.
OKAY.
LOOK

OKAY.
LOOK
ALL RIGHT.

LOOK
ALL RIGHT.
SO LOOK AT MY SPREAD SHEET,

ALL RIGHT.
SO LOOK AT MY SPREAD SHEET,
OKAY?

SO LOOK AT MY SPREAD SHEET,
OKAY?
THESE ARE ALL EMAILS I RECEIVED.

OKAY?
THESE ARE ALL EMAILS I RECEIVED.
NOW YOU UNDERSTAND?

THESE ARE ALL EMAILS I RECEIVED.
NOW YOU UNDERSTAND?
>> NO, I DON'T.

NOW YOU UNDERSTAND?
>> NO, I DON'T.
NO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> NO, I DON'T.
NO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHERE DO YOU WORK?

NO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHERE DO YOU WORK?
>> IN THE WEEDS.

WHERE DO YOU WORK?
>> IN THE WEEDS.
>> OKAY.

>> IN THE WEEDS.
>> OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.

>> OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I MEAN SPECIFICALLY.

ALL RIGHT.
I MEAN SPECIFICALLY.
SPECIFICALLY.

I MEAN SPECIFICALLY.
SPECIFICALLY.
SPECIFICALLY, WHERE?

SPECIFICALLY.
SPECIFICALLY, WHERE?
>> NECK DEEP.

SPECIFICALLY, WHERE?
>> NECK DEEP.
>> THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER.

>> NECK DEEP.
>> THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER.
WHAT DO YOU DO?

>> THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I

WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I
DON'T DO, EAT.

>> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I
DON'T DO, EAT.
HAVEN'T EATEN IN A MONTH.

DON'T DO, EAT.
HAVEN'T EATEN IN A MONTH.
>> OH, MY GOD.

HAVEN'T EATEN IN A MONTH.
>> OH, MY GOD.
CRYSTAL, YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE

>> OH, MY GOD.
CRYSTAL, YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.

CRYSTAL, YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.
>> MM, KALE SEE CZAR.

OF YOURSELF.
>> MM, KALE SEE CZAR.
MY FAVORITE.

>> MM, KALE SEE CZAR.
MY FAVORITE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S KIND OF NICE

MY FAVORITE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S KIND OF NICE
EATING AT THE TABLE AND NOT ON A

YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S KIND OF NICE
EATING AT THE TABLE AND NOT ON A
TOILET.

EATING AT THE TABLE AND NOT ON A
TOILET.
>> YOU EAT ON THE TOILET?

TOILET.
>> YOU EAT ON THE TOILET?
>> AND I SHOT GOT A CALL ON MY

>> YOU EAT ON THE TOILET?
>> AND I SHOT GOT A CALL ON MY
SALAD PHONE.

>> AND I SHOT GOT A CALL ON MY
SALAD PHONE.
>> WHAT DOES IT SAY?

SALAD PHONE.
>> WHAT DOES IT SAY?
>> I'M SCREWED.

>> WHAT DOES IT SAY?
>> I'M SCREWED.
>> STOP THROWING THINGS!

>> I'M SCREWED.
>> STOP THROWING THINGS!
>> KEEP TALKING BECAUSE I AM

>> STOP THROWING THINGS!
>> KEEP TALKING BECAUSE I AM
LISTENING.

>> KEEP TALKING BECAUSE I AM
LISTENING.
AND I -- OH, MY GOD.

LISTENING.
AND I -- OH, MY GOD.
I JUST PULLED MY PINKY.

AND I -- OH, MY GOD.
I JUST PULLED MY PINKY.
>> CRYSTAL, JUST STOP.

I JUST PULLED MY PINKY.
>> CRYSTAL, JUST STOP.
I JUST SAW ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT

>> CRYSTAL, JUST STOP.
I JUST SAW ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT
ALL YOU HAVE OPEN IS A BUNCH OF

I JUST SAW ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT
ALL YOU HAVE OPEN IS A BUNCH OF
TABS FOR ANN TAYLOR LOFT.

ALL YOU HAVE OPEN IS A BUNCH OF
TABS FOR ANN TAYLOR LOFT.
>> FOR WORK CLOTHES BECAUSE I AM

TABS FOR ANN TAYLOR LOFT.
>> FOR WORK CLOTHES BECAUSE I AM
ALWAYS HERE.

>> FOR WORK CLOTHES BECAUSE I AM
ALWAYS HERE.
>> RIGHT.

ALWAYS HERE.
>> RIGHT.
AND WHERE?

>> RIGHT.
AND WHERE?
LIKE HONESTLY, WHAT DO YOU DO?

AND WHERE?
LIKE HONESTLY, WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> I'M CHE'S ASSISTANT.

LIKE HONESTLY, WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> I'M CHE'S ASSISTANT.
>> OKAY.

>> I'M CHE'S ASSISTANT.
>> OKAY.
>> HEY, MAN, CRYSTAL'S THE BEST.

>> OKAY.
>> HEY, MAN, CRYSTAL'S THE BEST.
>> YOUR VERY BUSY COWORKER,

>> HEY, MAN, CRYSTAL'S THE BEST.
>> YOUR VERY BUSY COWORKER,
>>> OKAY.

>> YOUR VERY BUSY COWORKER,
>>> OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE OUR AORS HAVE

>>> OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE OUR AORS HAVE
ARRIVED ON SET.

LOOKS LIKE OUR AORS HAVE
ARRIVED ON SET.
WHAT DO YOWE DO THIS

ARRIVED ON SET.
WHAT DO YOWE DO THIS
THING?

WHAT DO YOWE DO THIS
THING?
>>NOW I'M READY.

THING?
>>NOW I'M READY.
>> YES.

>>NOW I'M READY.
>> YES.
>> YES.

>> YES.
>> YES.
>> KEITH, I JUST WANTED TO SAY

>> YES.
>> KEITH, I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME

>> KEITH, I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME
DO THIS DRUG COMMERCIAL.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME
DO THIS DRUG COMMERCIAL.
I'M SOMEONE WHO NEVER THOUGHT

DO THIS DRUG COMMERCIAL.
I'M SOMEONE WHO NEVER THOUGHT
MUCH ABOUT MEDICATIONS UNTIL I

I'M SOMEONE WHO NEVER THOUGHT
MUCH ABOUT MEDICATIONS UNTIL I
RELY SEN TO WOMEN'S I

MUCH ABOUT MEDICATIONS UNTIL I
RELY SEN TO WOMEN'S I
ISSUES AND HONESTLY I THINK WILL

RELY SEN TO WOMEN'S I
ISSUES AND HONESTLY I THINK WILL
HELP PEOPLE.

ISSUES AND HONESTLY I THINK WILL
HELP PEOPLE.
>> WELL, THANK YOU.

HELP PEOPLE.
>> WELL, THANK YOU.
I HOPE SO TOO.

>> WELL, THANK YOU.
I HOPE SO TOO.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GIVE IT A

I HOPE SO TOO.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GIVE IT A
TRY, HUH?

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GIVE IT A
TRY, HUH?
>> I THINK THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC.

TRY, HUH?
>> I THINK THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC.
>> ALL RIGHT.

>> I THINK THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC.
>> ALL RIGHT.
PLACES, EVERYBODY

>> ALL RIGHT.
PLACES, EVERYBODY
AND ACTION

PLACES, EVERYBODY
AND ACTION
♪ THERE'S A NEW DRUG FOR GALS

AND ACTION
♪ THERE'S A NEW DRUG FOR GALS
OVER 40, IT'S HORMONE-FREE AND

♪ THERE'S A NEW DRUG FOR GALS
OVER 40, IT'S HORMONE-FREE AND
MADE JUST FOR ME ♪

OVER 40, IT'S HORMONE-FREE AND
MADE JUST FOR ME ♪
♪ EASY TO USE AND IT'S SUPER

MADE JUST FOR ME ♪
♪ EASY TO USE AND IT'S SUPER
EFFECTIVE ♪

♪ EASY TO USE AND IT'S SUPER
EFFECTIVE ♪
♪ THAT'S UNEXPECTED, SO WHAT IS

EFFECTIVE ♪
♪ THAT'S UNEXPECTED, SO WHAT IS
IT CALLED ♪

♪ THAT'S UNEXPECTED, SO WHAT IS
IT CALLED ♪
♪ IT'S CALLED VA JERTED, HOW

IT CALLED ♪
♪ IT'S CALLED VA JERTED, HOW
GREAT A NAME IS THAT, IT'S

♪ IT'S CALLED VA JERTED, HOW
GREAT A NAME IS THAT, IT'S

GREAT A NAME IS THAT, IT'S

CALLED VAGERTED ♪

CALLED VAGERTED ♪
♪ AND WHERE IS IT INSERTED ♪

CALLED VAGERTED ♪
♪ AND WHERE IS IT INSERTED ♪
♪ YOU ALREADY KNOW ♪

♪ AND WHERE IS IT INSERTED ♪
♪ YOU ALREADY KNOW ♪
>> NOT BAD FOR A FIRST TAKE,

♪ YOU ALREADY KNOW ♪
>> NOT BAD FOR A FIRST TAKE,
Y'ALL.

>> NOT BAD FOR A FIRST TAKE,
Y'ALL.
>> I ACTUALLY HAVE A QUESTION.

Y'ALL.
>> I ACTUALLY HAVE A QUESTION.
>> YOU DON'T THINK IT'S

>> I ACTUALLY HAVE A QUESTION.
>> YOU DON'T THINK IT'S
DIGNIFIED ENOUGH.

>> YOU DON'T THINK IT'S
DIGNIFIED ENOUGH.
>> NO.

DIGNIFIED ENOUGH.
>> NO.
I ACTUALLY LOVE WHAT YOU'RE

>> NO.
I ACTUALLY LOVE WHAT YOU'RE
DOING WITH VAGERTED.

I ACTUALLY LOVE WHAT YOU'RE
DOING WITH VAGERTED.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF WE'RE

DOING WITH VAGERTED.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF WE'RE
ALL DOING IT JUSTICE.

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF WE'RE
ALL DOING IT JUSTICE.
SOME OF US ARE UP HERE REALLY

ALL DOING IT JUSTICE.
SOME OF US ARE UP HERE REALLY
SELLING IT AND SOME OF US, OR

SOME OF US ARE UP HERE REALLY
SELLING IT AND SOME OF US, OR
MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF US ARE NOT

SELLING IT AND SOME OF US, OR
MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF US ARE NOT
GIVING IT THE SAME ENERGY.

MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF US ARE NOT
GIVING IT THE SAME ENERGY.
I DON'T WANT TO POINT FINGER.

GIVING IT THE SAME ENERGY.
I DON'T WANT TO POINT FINGER.
IT WOULD BE SO SAD IF PEOPLE

I DON'T WANT TO POINT FINGER.
IT WOULD BE SO SAD IF PEOPLE
DIDN'T BUY VAGERTED BECAUSE THE

IT WOULD BE SO SAD IF PEOPLE
DIDN'T BUY VAGERTED BECAUSE THE
DANCING WAS MID.

DIDN'T BUY VAGERTED BECAUSE THE
DANCING WAS MID.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.

DANCING WAS MID.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.
BUT I ALSO HAVE A QUESTION.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.
BUT I ALSO HAVE A QUESTION.
THIS DRUG IS FOR MEN PAUSE,

BUT I ALSO HAVE A QUESTION.
THIS DRUG IS FOR MEN PAUSE,
RIGHT, SO WHY DOESN'T THE SONG

THIS DRUG IS FOR MEN PAUSE,
RIGHT, SO WHY DOESN'T THE SONG
COME OUT AND SAY THAT?

RIGHT, SO WHY DOESN'T THE SONG
COME OUT AND SAY THAT?
>> WELL, WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO

COME OUT AND SAY THAT?
>> WELL, WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO
CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

>> WELL, WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO
CHANGE THE CHANNEL.
LET'S TRY THIS NEXT VERSE AND

CHANGE THE CHANNEL.
LET'S TRY THIS NEXT VERSE AND
GIVE IT MORE ENERGY THIS TIME.

LET'S TRY THIS NEXT VERSE AND
GIVE IT MORE ENERGY THIS TIME.
>> THAT'S A GREAT NOTE.

GIVE IT MORE ENERGY THIS TIME.
>> THAT'S A GREAT NOTE.
IT'S A GREAT NOTE FOR EVERYONE.

>> THAT'S A GREAT NOTE.
IT'S A GREAT NOTE FOR EVERYONE.
>> AND ACTION!

IT'S A GREAT NOTE FOR EVERYONE.
>> AND ACTION!
♪ IN JUST ONE WEEK, YOU'LL

>> AND ACTION!
♪ IN JUST ONE WEEK, YOU'LL
NOTICE A DIFFERENCE, INSERT IT

♪ IN JUST ONE WEEK, YOU'LL
NOTICE A DIFFERENCE, INSERT IT
DOWN THERE JUST AS DEEP AS YOU

NOTICE A DIFFERENCE, INSERT IT
DOWN THERE JUST AS DEEP AS YOU
CAN ♪

DOWN THERE JUST AS DEEP AS YOU
CAN ♪
♪ GOOD-BYE LABIDO, VAGERTED,

CAN ♪
♪ GOOD-BYE LABIDO, VAGERTED,
THAT'S THE NAME THEY CLOSE, THEY

♪ GOOD-BYE LABIDO, VAGERTED,
THAT'S THE NAME THEY CLOSE, THEY
CLOSE VAGERTED ♪

THAT'S THE NAME THEY CLOSE, THEY
CLOSE VAGERTED ♪
COME ON, GIRLS, LET'S DANCE.

CLOSE VAGERTED ♪
COME ON, GIRLS, LET'S DANCE.
>> VAGITA IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY,

COME ON, GIRLS, LET'S DANCE.
>> VAGITA IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY,
SO ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF IT'S RIGHT

>> VAGITA IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY,
SO ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF IT'S RIGHT
FOR YOU.

SO ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF IT'S RIGHT
FOR YOU.
IF HE SAYS NO, FIND ANOTHER

FOR YOU.
IF HE SAYS NO, FIND ANOTHER
DOCTOR.

IF HE SAYS NO, FIND ANOTHER
DOCTOR.
JUST KEEP GOING TO DIFFERENT

DOCTOR.
JUST KEEP GOING TO DIFFERENT
DOCTORS UNTIL ONE OF THEM SAYS

JUST KEEP GOING TO DIFFERENT
DOCTORS UNTIL ONE OF THEM SAYS
YOU CAN TAKE VAGITA.

DOCTORS UNTIL ONE OF THEM SAYS
YOU CAN TAKE VAGITA.
>> WHAT DID HE CALL IT?

YOU CAN TAKE VAGITA.
>> WHAT DID HE CALL IT?
>> DO NOT USE VAGITA IF YOU ARE

>> WHAT DID HE CALL IT?
>> DO NOT USE VAGITA IF YOU ARE
ALLERGIC TO VAGITA.

>> DO NOT USE VAGITA IF YOU ARE
ALLERGIC TO VAGITA.
IF YOU ARE ALERNL IT TO PEANUTS,

ALLERGIC TO VAGITA.
IF YOU ARE ALERNL IT TO PEANUTS,
DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR VA JURY TA.

IF YOU ARE ALERNL IT TO PEANUTS,
DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR VA JURY TA.
SOME PEOPLE LIKE VAGITA, SOME

DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR VA JURY TA.
SOME PEOPLE LIKE VAGITA, SOME
PEOPLE DO NOT.

SOME PEOPLE LIKE VAGITA, SOME
PEOPLE DO NOT.
I THINK IT'S VERY NICE.

PEOPLE DO NOT.
I THINK IT'S VERY NICE.
CLINICAL TRIALS HAVE NOT BEEN

I THINK IT'S VERY NICE.
CLINICAL TRIALS HAVE NOT BEEN
COMPLETES IN THE SENSE THAT THEY

CLINICAL TRIALS HAVE NOT BEEN
COMPLETES IN THE SENSE THAT THEY
HAVE NOT STARTED.

COMPLETES IN THE SENSE THAT THEY
HAVE NOT STARTED.
>> THAT'S NOT GOOD.

HAVE NOT STARTED.
>> THAT'S NOT GOOD.
>> VAGITA SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN

>> THAT'S NOT GOOD.
>> VAGITA SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN
ORALLY, EVEN THOUGH IT TASTES

>> VAGITA SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN
ORALLY, EVEN THOUGH IT TASTES
REAL GOOD.

ORALLY, EVEN THOUGH IT TASTES
REAL GOOD.
VAGITA IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.

REAL GOOD.
VAGITA IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.
IT GIVES YOU AN ALCOHOL-LIKE

VAGITA IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.
IT GIVES YOU AN ALCOHOL-LIKE
BUZZ WITHOUT A HANGOVER.

IT GIVES YOU AN ALCOHOL-LIKE
BUZZ WITHOUT A HANGOVER.
I WISH I HAD VAGITA SO I COULD

BUZZ WITHOUT A HANGOVER.
I WISH I HAD VAGITA SO I COULD
TAKE IT.

I WISH I HAD VAGITA SO I COULD
TAKE IT.
TRY VAGINA TODAY.

TAKE IT.
TRY VAGINA TODAY.
>> OKAY, CAN WE STOP.

TRY VAGINA TODAY.
>> OKAY, CAN WE STOP.
>> YEAH.

>> OKAY, CAN WE STOP.
>> YEAH.
HE JUST SAID TRY VAGINA TODAY.

>> YEAH.
HE JUST SAID TRY VAGINA TODAY.
THIS PRODUCT SOUNDS REALLY

HE JUST SAID TRY VAGINA TODAY.
THIS PRODUCT SOUNDS REALLY
AWFUL.

THIS PRODUCT SOUNDS REALLY
AWFUL.
>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S AWFUL.

AWFUL.
>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S AWFUL.
LOOK AROUND.

>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S AWFUL.
LOOK AROUND.
IT'S LIKE ONE OF US IS BEYONCE

LOOK AROUND.
IT'S LIKE ONE OF US IS BEYONCE
AND THE OTHER TWO ARE REALLY BAD

IT'S LIKE ONE OF US IS BEYONCE
AND THE OTHER TWO ARE REALLY BAD
AT DANCING.

AND THE OTHER TWO ARE REALLY BAD
AT DANCING.
>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

AT DANCING.
>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
YOU WERE SO NICE AT THE

>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
YOU WERE SO NICE AT THE
AUDITION.

YOU WERE SO NICE AT THE
AUDITION.
>> YEAH.

AUDITION.
>> YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT I DO.

>> YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
>>KAY.

THAT'S WHAT I DO.
>>KAY.
WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

>>KAY.
WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
>> GOOD LUCK, KEITH.

WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
>> GOOD LUCK, KEITH.
YOU'LL NEVER REPLACE US.

>> GOOD LUCK, KEITH.
YOU'LL NEVER REPLACE US.
>> WELL, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

YOU'LL NEVER REPLACE US.
>> WELL, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
>> HIT THE MUSIC.

>> WELL, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
>> HIT THE MUSIC.
♪ THERE'S A NEW DRUG FOR GALS

>> HIT THE MUSIC.
♪ THERE'S A NEW DRUG FOR GALS
OVER 40, IT'S CALLED

♪ THERE'S A NEW DRUG FOR GALS
OVER 40, IT'S CALLED
VA-JAY-JAY ♪

OVER 40, IT'S CALLED
VA-JAY-JAY ♪
>> I THINK IT'S VAGERTED.

VA-JAY-JAY ♪
>> I THINK IT'S VAGERTED.
>> WHATEVER.

>> I THINK IT'S VAGERTED.
>> WHATEVER.
>> ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF VA-JAY-JAY

>> WHATEVER.
>> ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF VA-JAY-JAY
IS RIGHT FOR YOU.

>>> ONCE AGAIN, JONAS BROTHERS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ I GET TO SEE

♪
♪ I GET TO SEE
LIGHTNING IN HER HEART

♪ I GET TO SEE
LIGHTNING IN HER HEART
NEVER ENDING LIGHT

LIGHTNING IN HER HEART
NEVER ENDING LIGHT
WHAT A THOUGHT ♪

NEVER ENDING LIGHT
WHAT A THOUGHT ♪
♪ DARLING YOU'D MAKE

WHAT A THOUGHT ♪
♪ DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY

♪ DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY
DARLING YOU'D MAKE

THE WALLS CRY
DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY ♪

DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A DOORFRAME

THE WALLS CRY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A DOORFRAME
I WANNA GO THROUGH

♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A DOORFRAME
I WANNA GO THROUGH
AS LONG AS IT LEADS ME

I WANNA GO THROUGH
AS LONG AS IT LEADS ME
BACK TO YOU YEAH ♪

AS LONG AS IT LEADS ME
BACK TO YOU YEAH ♪
♪ IF YOU EVER LEFT ME

BACK TO YOU YEAH ♪
♪ IF YOU EVER LEFT ME
I WOULD DIE

♪ IF YOU EVER LEFT ME
I WOULD DIE
AND EVEN THE WALLS

I WOULD DIE
AND EVEN THE WALLS
WOULD CRY ♪

AND EVEN THE WALLS
WOULD CRY ♪
♪

WOULD CRY ♪
♪
♪

♪
♪
♪ WHENEVER YOUR HEADLIGHTS

♪
♪ WHENEVER YOUR HEADLIGHTS
DO YOUR HEART

♪ WHENEVER YOUR HEADLIGHTS
DO YOUR HEART
I LOVE YOU ALL OVER

DO YOUR HEART
I LOVE YOU ALL OVER
EVERY START OHH ♪

I LOVE YOU ALL OVER
EVERY START OHH ♪
♪ DARLING YOU'D MAKE

EVERY START OHH ♪
♪ DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY

♪ DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY
DARLING YOU'D MAKE

THE WALLS CRY
DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY ♪

DARLING YOU'D MAKE
THE WALLS CRY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A DOORFRAME

THE WALLS CRY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A DOORFRAME
I WANNA GO THROUGH

♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A DOORFRAME
I WANNA GO THROUGH
AS LONG AS IT LEADS ME

I WANNA GO THROUGH
AS LONG AS IT LEADS ME
BACK TO YOU YEAH ♪

AS LONG AS IT LEADS ME
BACK TO YOU YEAH ♪
♪ IF YOU EVER LEFT ME

BACK TO YOU YEAH ♪
♪ IF YOU EVER LEFT ME
I WOULD DIE

♪ IF YOU EVER LEFT ME
I WOULD DIE
AND EVEN THE WALLS

I WOULD DIE
AND EVEN THE WALLS
WOULD CRY ♪

AND EVEN THE WALLS
WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
LEVANTATE EN AMOR

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
LEVANTATE EN AMOR
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

LEVANTATE EN AMOR
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ LEVANTATE

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ LEVANTATE
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

♪ LEVANTATE
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
LEVANTATE

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
LEVANTATE
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

LEVANTATE
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ AS WE PROCEED

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

♪ AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
AS WE PROCEED

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
AS WE PROCEED

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
AS WE PROCEED
TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED ♪

AS WE PROCEED
TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
AS WE PROCEED

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ AS WE PROCEED

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

♪ AS WE PROCEED
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
AS WE PROCD

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
AS WE PROCD
TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOUEED ♪

AS WE PROCD
TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOUEED ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOUEED ♪
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

♪ EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪

EVEN THE WALLS WOULD CRY ♪
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪
>>> OKAY, OKAY.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

>>> OKAY, OKAY.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
GIRLS, TAKE A GREAT.

SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
GIRLS, TAKE A GREAT.
GRETEL, TURBO.

GIRLS, TAKE A GREAT.
GRETEL, TURBO.
COME ON, WE NEED TO TALK.

GRETEL, TURBO.
COME ON, WE NEED TO TALK.
>> WHAT'S UP?

COME ON, WE NEED TO TALK.
>> WHAT'S UP?
>> WELL, AS THE JONAS BROTHERS

>> WHAT'S UP?
>> WELL, AS THE JONAS BROTHERS
MANAGER, PART OF MY JOB IS TO

>> WELL, AS THE JONAS BROTHERS
MANAGER, PART OF MY JOB IS TO
DELIVER BAD NEWS.

MANAGER, PART OF MY JOB IS TO
DELIVER BAD NEWS.
THE BOYS WANT TO HIRE A NEW

DELIVER BAD NEWS.
THE BOYS WANT TO HIRE A NEW
CHOREOGRAPHER.

THE BOYS WANT TO HIRE A NEW
CHOREOGRAPHER.
>> YOU CAN'T FIRE US.

CHOREOGRAPHER.
>> YOU CAN'T FIRE US.
WE INVENTED JOE BRO CORE OWE.

>> YOU CAN'T FIRE US.
WE INVENTED JOE BRO CORE OWE.
>> I GAVE NICK HIS HEAD BOP.

WE INVENTED JOE BRO CORE OWE.
>> I GAVE NICK HIS HEAD BOP.
I TOLD HIM T GO SIDE TO SIDE

>> I GAVE NICK HIS HEAD BOP.
I TOLD HIM T GO SIDE TO SIDE
WITH A FINGER SHIMMY.

I TOLD HIM T GO SIDE TO SIDE
WITH A FINGER SHIMMY.
>> BE THAT AS IT MAY, THE BOYS

WITH A FINGER SHIMMY.
>> BE THAT AS IT MAY, THE BOYS
FEEL THEY'RE NOT A TEENY BOPPER

>> BE THAT AS IT MAY, THE BOYS
FEEL THEY'RE NOT A TEENY BOPPER
BAND ANYMORE.

FEEL THEY'RE NOT A TEENY BOPPER
BAND ANYMORE.
AND THEY WANT A MORE MATURE

BAND ANYMORE.
AND THEY WANT A MORE MATURE
STAGE ACT.

AND THEY WANT A MORE MATURE
STAGE ACT.
>> THAT MA CHUR?

STAGE ACT.
>> THAT MA CHUR?
WHO DO THEY THINK CAN DO THAT?

>> THAT MA CHUR?
WHO DO THEY THINK CAN DO THAT?
>> HARD TO DESCRIBE.

WHO DO THEY THINK CAN DO THAT?
>> HARD TO DESCRIBE.
EASIER TO SEE.

>> HARD TO DESCRIBE.
EASIER TO SEE.
LET HER IN.

EASIER TO SEE.
LET HER IN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

LET HER IN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MY NAME IS SALLY O'MALLEY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MY NAME IS SALLY O'MALLEY.
I'M 50 YEARS OLD.

>> MY NAME IS SALLY O'MALLEY.
I'M 50 YEARS OLD.
NOT ONE OF THOSE GALS WHO'S

I'M 50 YEARS OLD.
NOT ONE OF THOSE GALS WHO'S
AFRAID TO TELL HER REAL AGE.

NOT ONE OF THOSE GALS WHO'S
AFRAID TO TELL HER REAL AGE.
AND I LIKE TO KICK, STRETCH, AND

AFRAID TO TELL HER REAL AGE.
AND I LIKE TO KICK, STRETCH, AND
KICK!

AND I LIKE TO KICK, STRETCH, AND
KICK!
AND I'M 50 YEARS OLD.

KICK!
AND I'M 50 YEARS OLD.
50 YEARS OLD.

AND I'M 50 YEARS OLD.
50 YEARS OLD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.

50 YEARS OLD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
THE BOYS WERE VISITING THEIR

>> THAT'S RIGHT.
THE BOYS WERE VISITING THEIR
GRANDMOTHER, AND SHE TOOK THEM

THE BOYS WERE VISITING THEIR
GRANDMOTHER, AND SHE TOOK THEM
TO HER SENIOR CENTER'S

GRANDMOTHER, AND SHE TOOK THEM
TO HER SENIOR CENTER'S
PRODUCTION OF ANNIE, AND SALLY

TO HER SENIOR CENTER'S
PRODUCTION OF ANNIE, AND SALLY
HERE WAS STARRING, AND SHE

PRODUCTION OF ANNIE, AND SALLY
HERE WAS STARRING, AND SHE
ROCKED THEIR WORLD.

HERE WAS STARRING, AND SHE
ROCKED THEIR WORLD.
THEY DON'T WANT TO FIRE ANYBODY.

ROCKED THEIR WORLD.
THEY DON'T WANT TO FIRE ANYBODY.
THEY WERE JUST HOPING YOU COULD

THEY DON'T WANT TO FIRE ANYBODY.
THEY WERE JUST HOPING YOU COULD
LET SALLY ADD A LITTLE

THEY WERE JUST HOPING YOU COULD
LET SALLY ADD A LITTLE
SOMETHING.

LET SALLY ADD A LITTLE
SOMETHING.
>> OKAY, SALLY, WHAT LITTLE

SOMETHING.
>> OKAY, SALLY, WHAT LITTLE
SOMETHING DO YOU THINK YOU CAN

>> OKAY, SALLY, WHAT LITTLE
SOMETHING DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
ADD?

SOMETHING DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
ADD?
>> 45 DECADES OF LITTLE DANCING

ADD?
>> 45 DECADES OF LITTLE DANCING
AND RED PANTS DANCING.

>> 45 DECADES OF LITTLE DANCING
AND RED PANTS DANCING.
I GOT HALF A CENTURY OF SHIZZLE

AND RED PANTS DANCING.
I GOT HALF A CENTURY OF SHIZZLE
IN MY LADY SNIZZLE.

I GOT HALF A CENTURY OF SHIZZLE
IN MY LADY SNIZZLE.
NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

IN MY LADY SNIZZLE.
NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]

NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BEING A WOMAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]
BEING A WOMAN.
THE GRAND CANYON'S GOT NOTHING

BEING A WOMAN.
THE GRAND CANYON'S GOT NOTHING
ON ME.

THE GRAND CANYON'S GOT NOTHING
ON ME.
>> YOU KNOW, I'VE ENGINEERED BY

ON ME.
>> YOU KNOW, I'VE ENGINEERED BY
ENTIRE LIFE SO I WOULD NEVER

>> YOU KNOW, I'VE ENGINEERED BY
ENTIRE LIFE SO I WOULD NEVER
HAVE TO E WHAT I JUST SAW.

ENTIRE LIFE SO I WOULD NEVER
HAVE TO E WHAT I JUST SAW.
AND RUSSELL, ARE YOU SURE SHE'S

HAVE TO E WHAT I JUST SAW.
AND RUSSELL, ARE YOU SURE SHE'S
50?

AND RUSSELL, ARE YOU SURE SHE'S
50?
>> HONEY, I'VE BEEN 50 SINCE

50?
>> HONEY, I'VE BEEN 50 SINCE
BEFORE YOU WAS BORN.

>> HONEY, I'VE BEEN 50 SINCE
BEFORE YOU WAS BORN.
>> CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE IT A

BEFORE YOU WAS BORN.
>> CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE IT A
TRY?

>> CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE IT A
TRY?
THE BOYS FEEL THAT SALLY

TRY?
THE BOYS FEEL THAT SALLY
REPRESENTS WHO THEY ARE NOW.

THE BOYS FEEL THAT SALLY
REPRESENTS WHO THEY ARE NOW.
>> DO THEY?

REPRESENTS WHO THEY ARE NOW.
>> DO THEY?
THEN TELL US WHO YOU ARE, SALLY.

>> DO THEY?
THEN TELL US WHO YOU ARE, SALLY.
>> LISTEN, I'M A CHOO CHOO

THEN TELL US WHO YOU ARE, SALLY.
>> LISTEN, I'M A CHOO CHOO
CHARLIE AND A CLASS ACT.

>> LISTEN, I'M A CHOO CHOO
CHARLIE AND A CLASS ACT.
>> HEY, RUSSELL, I LOVE YOU.

CHARLIE AND A CLASS ACT.
>> HEY, RUSSELL, I LOVE YOU.
I JUST THINK THE JONAS BROTHERS

>> HEY, RUSSELL, I LOVE YOU.
I JUST THINK THE JONAS BROTHERS
ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE.

I JUST THINK THE JONAS BROTHERS
ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE.
>> IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK, HUH?

ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE.
>> IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK, HUH?

>> IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK, HUH?

WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T
NEIL, CALVIN, AND JOHN.

WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T
NEIL, CALVIN, AND JOHN.
>> NICK, JOE, AND KEVIN.

NEIL, CALVIN, AND JOHN.
>> NICK, JOE, AND KEVIN.
WE CAME BY BECAUSE WE HAD A

>> NICK, JOE, AND KEVIN.
WE CAME BY BECAUSE WE HAD A
FEELING THEY MIGHT NOT

WE CAME BY BECAUSE WE HAD A
FEELING THEY MIGHT NOT
UNDERSTAND YOUR NEW CONCEPT.

FEELING THEY MIGHT NOT
UNDERSTAND YOUR NEW CONCEPT.
>> SO WE WANTED TO SHOW THEM.

UNDERSTAND YOUR NEW CONCEPT.
>> SO WE WANTED TO SHOW THEM.
>> LOOKING GOOD.

>> SO WE WANTED TO SHOW THEM.
>> LOOKING GOOD.
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, BOYS.

>> LOOKING GOOD.
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, BOYS.
NOW PUT SOME BONUS?

YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, BOYS.
NOW PUT SOME BONUS?
YOUR JONAS.

NOW PUT SOME BONUS?
YOUR JONAS.
NOW, HIT IT, RUSSELL.

YOUR JONAS.
NOW, HIT IT, RUSSELL.
HIP, HIP, ARMS, ARMS, NOW KICK,

NOW, HIT IT, RUSSELL.
HIP, HIP, ARMS, ARMS, NOW KICK,
STRETCH, AND KICK, STRETCH,

HIP, HIP, ARMS, ARMS, NOW KICK,
STRETCH, AND KICK, STRETCH,
KICK, STRETCH.

STRETCH, AND KICK, STRETCH,
KICK, STRETCH.
>> WAIT A SECOND.

KICK, STRETCH.
>> WAIT A SECOND.
WAIT A SECOND.

>> WAIT A SECOND.
WAIT A SECOND.
OH, MY GOD.

WAIT A SECOND.
OH, MY GOD.
I AM SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED

OH, MY GOD.
I AM SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED
YOU, SALLY.

I AM SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED
YOU, SALLY.
I SEE IT NOW.

YOU, SALLY.
I SEE IT NOW.
THEY ARE GOING TO PUT THE BOYS

I SEE IT NOW.
THEY ARE GOING TO PUT THE BOYS
ON STAGE IN PACKED STADIUMS

THEY ARE GOING TO PUT THE BOYS
ON STAGE IN PACKED STADIUMS
AROUND THE WORLD, AND THEY'RE

ON STAGE IN PACKED STADIUMS
AROUND THE WORLD, AND THEY'RE
GONNA.

AROUND THE WORLD, AND THEY'RE
GONNA.
>> KICK.

GONNA.
>> KICK.
>> STRETCH.

>> KICK.
>> STRETCH.
>> AND JUMP.

>> STRETCH.
>> AND JUMP.
>> JUMP?

>> AND JUMP.
>> JUMP?
NEIL, YOU'RE FIRED.

>> JUMP?
NEIL, YOU'RE FIRED.
>> WHAT?

NEIL, YOU'RE FIRED.
>> WHAT?
>> WAIT A SECOND, SALLY, YOU CAN

>> WHAT?
>> WAIT A SECOND, SALLY, YOU CAN
TAKE HIS PLACE.

>> WAIT A SECOND, SALLY, YOU CAN
TAKE HIS PLACE.
>> YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

TAKE HIS PLACE.
>> YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
DO YOU KNOW ANY OF OUR SONGS?

>> YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
DO YOU KNOW ANY OF OUR SONGS?
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

DO YOU KNOW ANY OF OUR SONGS?
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I'M 50 YEARS OLD.

>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I'M 50 YEARS OLD.
50.

>>> THESE DAYS, IT'S HARD NOT TO
FEEL STRESSED OUT AND
OVERWHELMED.

FEEL STRESSED OUT AND
OVERWHELMED.
SURE, TRUMP GOT INDICTED, BUT

OVERWHELMED.
SURE, TRUMP GOT INDICTED, BUT
NOW EVERYONE SAYS THE CASE

SURE, TRUMP GOT INDICTED, BUT
NOW EVERYONE SAYS THE CASE
AGAINST HIM IS WEAK AND THAT

NOW EVERYONE SAYS THE CASE
AGAINST HIM IS WEAK AND THAT
HE'LL NEVER SERVE ANY JAIL TIME.

AGAINST HIM IS WEAK AND THAT
HE'LL NEVER SERVE ANY JAIL TIME.
AS SOMEONE WHOSE ENTIRE

HE'LL NEVER SERVE ANY JAIL TIME.
AS SOMEONE WHOSE ENTIRE
PERSONALITY IS HATING DONALD

AS SOMEONE WHOSE ENTIRE
PERSONALITY IS HATING DONALD
TRUMP, YOU NEED MORE.

PERSONALITY IS HATING DONALD
TRUMP, YOU NEED MORE.
YOU NEED TO FEEL CALM AND

TRUMP, YOU NEED MORE.
YOU NEED TO FEEL CALM AND
REASSURED.

YOU NEED TO FEEL CALM AND
REASSURED.
YOU NEED THE NEWEST MEDITATION

REASSURED.
YOU NEED THE NEWEST MEDITATION
APP.

YOU NEED THE NEWEST MEDITATION
APP.
CNZ.

APP.
CNZ.
NEW DETAILS FROM TRUMP'S ARREST,

CNZ.
NEW DETAILS FROM TRUMP'S ARREST,
FEATURING YOUR FAVORITE CNN

NEW DETAILS FROM TRUMP'S ARREST,
FEATURING YOUR FAVORITE CNN
ANCHORS.

FEATURING YOUR FAVORITE CNN
ANCHORS.
>> HE'S THE FIRST AMERICAN

ANCHORS.
>> HE'S THE FIRST AMERICAN
PRESIDENT TO EVER BE INDICTED.

>> HE'S THE FIRST AMERICAN
PRESIDENT TO EVER BE INDICTED.
THIS IS TRULY A HISTORIC AND

PRESIDENT TO EVER BE INDICTED.
THIS IS TRULY A HISTORIC AND
HUMILIATING MOMENT.

THIS IS TRULY A HISTORIC AND
HUMILIATING MOMENT.
>> TRUMP IS A BRAD, DEFEATED

HUMILIATING MOMENT.
>> TRUMP IS A BRAD, DEFEATED
MAN.

>> TRUMP IS A BRAD, DEFEATED
MAN.
THEY MADE HIM COME FROM FLORIDA

MAN.
THEY MADE HIM COME FROM FLORIDA
WHERE IT'S 80 DEGREES TO NEW

THEY MADE HIM COME FROM FLORIDA
WHERE IT'S 80 DEGREES TO NEW
YORK WHERE IT'S ONLY 60 DEGREES.

WHERE IT'S 80 DEGREES TO NEW
YORK WHERE IT'S ONLY 60 DEGREES.
HOW DEPRESSING.

YORK WHERE IT'S ONLY 60 DEGREES.
HOW DEPRESSING.
>> HIS MOTOR CADE WASN'T THAT

HOW DEPRESSING.
>> HIS MOTOR CADE WASN'T THAT
BIG.

>> HIS MOTOR CADE WASN'T THAT
BIG.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BIGGER,

BIG.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BIGGER,
BUT IT WAS SO SMALL.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BIGGER,
BUT IT WAS SO SMALL.
>> DONALD WAS ALL ALONE, NO

BUT IT WAS SO SMALL.
>> DONALD WAS ALL ALONE, NO
FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO SUPPORT

>> DONALD WAS ALL ALONE, NO
FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO SUPPORT
HIM.

FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO SUPPORT
HIM.
I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS AS A

HIM.
I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS AS A
JOURNALIST, BUT THAT A LOSER.

I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS AS A
JOURNALIST, BUT THAT A LOSER.
>> THAT NEW YORK TIMES REPORTER

JOURNALIST, BUT THAT A LOSER.
>> THAT NEW YORK TIMES REPORTER
MAGGIE HABERMAN SOOTH YOU TO

>> THAT NEW YORK TIMES REPORTER
MAGGIE HABERMAN SOOTH YOU TO
SLEEP.

MAGGIE HABERMAN SOOTH YOU TO
SLEEP.
>> THAT IS A NIGHTMARE, AND HE'S

SLEEP.
>> THAT IS A NIGHTMARE, AND HE'S
REALLY FREAKING OUT BECAUSE NOW

>> THAT IS A NIGHTMARE, AND HE'S
REALLY FREAKING OUT BECAUSE NOW
HE KNOWS THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES.

REALLY FREAKING OUT BECAUSE NOW
HE KNOWS THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES.
>> YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN TO CLIPS

HE KNOWS THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES.
>> YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN TO CLIPS
OF TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES

>> YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN TO CLIPS
OF TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES
SPIRALING.

OF TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES
SPIRALING.
>> PLEASE, DONALD J. TRUMP IS AN

SPIRALING.
>> PLEASE, DONALD J. TRUMP IS AN
INNOCENT MAN AND HE NEEDS YOUR

>> PLEASE, DONALD J. TRUMP IS AN
INNOCENT MAN AND HE NEEDS YOUR
HELP.

INNOCENT MAN AND HE NEEDS YOUR
HELP.
SEND HIM ALL YOUR MONEY TODAY AT

HELP.
SEND HIM ALL YOUR MONEY TODAY AT
DON'T J. TRUMP RU/FUND RAISING

SEND HIM ALL YOUR MONEY TODAY AT
DON'T J. TRUMP RU/FUND RAISING
SCAM.GUILTY.

DON'T J. TRUMP RU/FUND RAISING
SCAM.GUILTY.
>> HIS COURT APPEARANCE WON'T BE

SCAM.GUILTY.
>> HIS COURT APPEARANCE WON'T BE
UNTIL AT LEAST DECEMBER.

>> HIS COURT APPEARANCE WON'T BE
UNTIL AT LEAST DECEMBER.
THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A WHOLE

UNTIL AT LEAST DECEMBER.
THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A WHOLE
LIST OF TRUMP INDICTMENT ASR.

THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A WHOLE
LIST OF TRUMP INDICTMENT ASR.
>> CAN YOU HEAR HIM GETTING

LIST OF TRUMP INDICTMENT ASR.
>> CAN YOU HEAR HIM GETTING
FINGERPRINTED, AND THE DA

>> CAN YOU HEAR HIM GETTING
FINGERPRINTED, AND THE DA
OPENING HIS BIG LEATHER

FINGERPRINTED, AND THE DA
OPENING HIS BIG LEATHER
BRIEFCASE, AND A LITTLE GAVEL

OPENING HIS BIG LEATHER
BRIEFCASE, AND A LITTLE GAVEL
FROM THE JUDGE.

BRIEFCASE, AND A LITTLE GAVEL
FROM THE JUDGE.
I WONDER IF HE'LL EVEN HEAR HAND

FROM THE JUDGE.
I WONDER IF HE'LL EVEN HEAR HAND
CUFFS.

I WONDER IF HE'LL EVEN HEAR HAND
CUFFS.
>> WITH ADDITIONAL IN-APP

CUFFS.
>> WITH ADDITIONAL IN-APP
PURCHASES LIKE AUDIO E RAT KA OF

>> WITH ADDITIONAL IN-APP
PURCHASES LIKE AUDIO E RAT KA OF
ALVIN BRAGG READING ALL 40

PURCHASES LIKE AUDIO E RAT KA OF
ALVIN BRAGG READING ALL 40
FELONY ACCOUNTS.

ALVIN BRAGG READING ALL 40
FELONY ACCOUNTS.
>> COUNT ONE, FALSIFYING

FELONY ACCOUNTS.
>> COUNT ONE, FALSIFYING
BUSINESS RECORDS IN THE FIRST

>> COUNT ONE, FALSIFYING
BUSINESS RECORDS IN THE FIRST
DEGREE.

BUSINESS RECORDS IN THE FIRST
DEGREE.
COUNT TWO, FALSIFYING BUSINESS

DEGREE.
COUNT TWO, FALSIFYING BUSINESS
RECORDS IN THE FIRST DEGREE.

COUNT TWO, FALSIFYING BUSINESS
RECORDS IN THE FIRST DEGREE.
COUNT THREE, FALSIFYING --

RECORDS IN THE FIRST DEGREE.
COUNT THREE, FALSIFYING --
>> YOU WAITED SEVEN YEARS FOR

COUNT THREE, FALSIFYING --
>> YOU WAITED SEVEN YEARS FOR
THIS INDICTMENT, AND YOU WANT

>> YOU WAITED SEVEN YEARS FOR
THIS INDICTMENT, AND YOU WANT
EVERY DELICIOUS DETAIL.

THIS INDICTMENT, AND YOU WANT
EVERY DELICIOUS DETAIL.
>>, WHAT ETHNICITY IS TRUMP'S

EVERY DELICIOUS DETAIL.
>>, WHAT ETHNICITY IS TRUMP'S
JUDGE AGAIN?

>>, WHAT ETHNICITY IS TRUMP'S
JUDGE AGAIN?
>> HISPANIC.

JUDGE AGAIN?
>> HISPANIC.
>> CNZN, IN YOUR MIND, HE'S

>> HISPANIC.
>> CNZN, IN YOUR MIND, HE'S
ALREAWe aN JAIL.

>>> THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THE
JONAS BROTHERS.
MARTIN SHORT.

JONAS BROTHERS.
MARTIN SHORT.
I LOVE YOU, LAUREN MICHAELS.

MARTIN SHORT.
I LOVE YOU, LAUREN MICHAELS.
YOU ARE THE BEST.

I LOVE YOU, LAUREN MICHAELS.
YOU ARE THE BEST.
AND THIS BRILLIANT CAST, OH, MY

YOU ARE THE BEST.
AND THIS BRILLIANT CAST, OH, MY
GOD.

AND THIS BRILLIANT CAST, OH, MY
GOD.
SO GOOD!

GOD.
SO GOOD!
AND OUR WONDERFULCREW.

SO GOOD!
AND OUR WONDERFULCREW.
THIS IS JUST A GIFT TO BE BACK.

AND OUR WONDERFULCREW.
THIS IS JUST A GIFT TO BE BACK.
THANK YOU!

THIS IS JUST A GIFT TO BE BACK.
THANK YOU!
>> YEAH!