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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:13,839 >>> YOU'RE WATCHING "FOX AND FRIENDS." >>> GOOD MORNING. 2 00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:15,474 FRIENDS." >>> GOOD MORNING. WELCOME TO "FOX AND FRIENDS." 3 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:17,075 >>> GOOD MORNING. WELCOME TO "FOX AND FRIENDS." I'M STEVE DOOCY HERE WITH MY 4 00:00:17,077 --> 00:00:18,143 WELCOME TO "FOX AND FRIENDS." I'M STEVE DOOCY HERE WITH MY GOOD FRIENDS BRIAN KILMEADE AND 5 00:00:18,145 --> 00:00:22,614 I'M STEVE DOOCY HERE WITH MY GOOD FRIENDS BRIAN KILMEADE AND AINSLEY EARHARDT. 6 00:00:22,616 --> 00:00:25,584 GOOD FRIENDS BRIAN KILMEADE AND AINSLEY EARHARDT. >> THANK YOU, STEVE, AS ALWAYS, 7 00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:26,051 AINSLEY EARHARDT. >> THANK YOU, STEVE, AS ALWAYS, WE'RE COMING TO 8 00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:26,718 >> THANK YOU, STEVE, AS ALWAYS, WE'RE COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY. 9 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,385 WE'RE COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY. NEW YORK, WHAT A CESSPOOL. 10 00:00:27,387 --> 00:00:30,088 YOU LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY. NEW YORK, WHAT A CESSPOOL. >> I KNOW. 11 00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:32,424 NEW YORK, WHAT A CESSPOOL. >> I KNOW. THAT'S A DEMOCRAT-RUN CITY FOR 12 00:00:32,426 --> 00:00:32,691 >> I KNOW. THAT'S A DEMOCRAT-RUN CITY FOR YOU. 13 00:00:32,693 --> 00:00:33,058 THAT'S A DEMOCRAT-RUN CITY FOR YOU. >> I KNOW. 14 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:33,759 YOU. >> I KNOW. JUST TODAY I WAS PUSHED ON TO 15 00:00:33,761 --> 00:00:34,493 >> I KNOW. JUST TODAY I WAS PUSHED ON TO THE SUBWAY TRACKS BY A HOMELESS 16 00:00:34,495 --> 00:00:35,227 JUST TODAY I WAS PUSHED ON TO THE SUBWAY TRACKS BY A HOMELESS MAN AND THEN PUSHED BACK ON THE 17 00:00:35,229 --> 00:00:38,864 THE SUBWAY TRACKS BY A HOMELESS MAN AND THEN PUSHED BACK ON THE PLATFORM BY RATS. 18 00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:41,032 MAN AND THEN PUSHED BACK ON THE PLATFORM BY RATS. >> THAT'S TERRIBLE! 19 00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:42,868 PLATFORM BY RATS. >> THAT'S TERRIBLE! WELL, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT 20 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:47,472 >> THAT'S TERRIBLE! WELL, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT FOX NEWS IS CURRENTLY FACING A 21 00:00:47,474 --> 00:00:49,007 WELL, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT FOX NEWS IS CURRENTLY FACING A $1.6 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM 22 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:52,978 FOX NEWS IS CURRENTLY FACING A $1.6 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS. 23 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:53,478 $1.6 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS. >> I'M SURPRISED. 24 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:54,546 DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS. >> I'M SURPRISED. I'M A FAN OF DA MINIONS. 25 00:00:54,548 --> 00:00:55,647 >> I'M SURPRISED. I'M A FAN OF DA MINIONS. THE YELLOW GUYS IN THE OVERALLS. 26 00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:57,783 I'M A FAN OF DA MINIONS. THE YELLOW GUYS IN THE OVERALLS. BANANA! 27 00:00:57,785 --> 00:00:59,384 THE YELLOW GUYS IN THE OVERALLS. BANANA! >> NO, BRIAN, NOT THE MINIONS. 28 00:00:59,386 --> 00:01:02,587 BANANA! >> NO, BRIAN, NOT THE MINIONS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOMINION 29 00:01:02,589 --> 00:01:04,756 >> NO, BRIAN, NOT THE MINIONS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOMINION VOTING MACHINES LAWSUIT AND OUR 30 00:01:04,758 --> 00:01:05,791 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOMINION VOTING MACHINES LAWSUIT AND OUR BOSS RUPERT MURDOCH GAVE SOME 31 00:01:05,793 --> 00:01:06,525 VOTING MACHINES LAWSUIT AND OUR BOSS RUPERT MURDOCH GAVE SOME PRETTY SHOCKING TESTIMONY IN THE 32 00:01:06,527 --> 00:01:10,562 BOSS RUPERT MURDOCH GAVE SOME PRETTY SHOCKING TESTIMONY IN THE CASE. 33 00:01:10,564 --> 00:01:12,230 PRETTY SHOCKING TESTIMONY IN THE CASE. >> THIS WHOLE TRIAL HAS BEEN SO 34 00:01:12,232 --> 00:01:12,998 CASE. >> THIS WHOLE TRIAL HAS BEEN SO UNFAIR. 35 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,735 >> THIS WHOLE TRIAL HAS BEEN SO UNFAIR. THEY ARE RAKING HIM OVER THE 36 00:01:16,737 --> 00:01:17,135 UNFAIR. THEY ARE RAKING HIM OVER THE COALS. 37 00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:18,937 THEY ARE RAKING HIM OVER THE COALS. RUPERT MURDOCH WOULD NEVER 38 00:01:18,939 --> 00:01:19,704 COALS. RUPERT MURDOCH WOULD NEVER MURDER ANYONE. 39 00:01:19,706 --> 00:01:20,639 RUPERT MURDOCH WOULD NEVER MURDER ANYONE. >> WHAT? 40 00:01:20,641 --> 00:01:23,108 MURDER ANYONE. >> WHAT? >> THEY SENT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE. 41 00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:25,777 >> WHAT? >> THEY SENT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE. LOOK HOW SAD HE LOOKS. 42 00:01:25,779 --> 00:01:26,812 >> THEY SENT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE. LOOK HOW SAD HE LOOKS. WHERE'S THAT PICTURE I FOUND OF 43 00:01:26,814 --> 00:01:35,153 LOOK HOW SAD HE LOOKS. WHERE'S THAT PICTURE I FOUND OF HIM? 44 00:01:35,155 --> 00:01:40,959 WHERE'S THAT PICTURE I FOUND OF HIM? >> THAT'S NOT RUPERT MURDOCH. 45 00:01:40,961 --> 00:01:51,303 HIM? >> THAT'S NOT RUPERT MURDOCH. THAT'S ALEX MURDAUGH. 46 00:01:51,305 --> 00:01:52,070 >> THAT'S NOT RUPERT MURDOCH. THAT'S ALEX MURDAUGH. 47 00:01:52,072 --> 00:01:52,804 THAT'S ALEX MURDAUGH. ANYWAY, RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITTED 48 00:01:52,806 --> 00:01:53,505 ANYWAY, RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITTED FOX NEWS AIRED ELECTION FRAUD 49 00:01:53,507 --> 00:01:54,239 ANYWAY, RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITTED FOX NEWS AIRED ELECTION FRAUD CONSPIRACIES TO GET RATINGS EVEN 50 00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:54,973 FOX NEWS AIRED ELECTION FRAUD CONSPIRACIES TO GET RATINGS EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE HERE KNEW THEY 51 00:01:54,975 --> 00:01:55,373 CONSPIRACIES TO GET RATINGS EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE HERE KNEW THEY WERE FALSE. 52 00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:55,907 THOUGH EVERYONE HERE KNEW THEY WERE FALSE. >> UH-OH, I DIDN'T. 53 00:01:55,909 --> 00:01:56,608 WERE FALSE. >> UH-OH, I DIDN'T. LOOP A BROTHER IN NEXT TIME. 54 00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:57,342 >> UH-OH, I DIDN'T. LOOP A BROTHER IN NEXT TIME. >> NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF 55 00:01:57,344 --> 00:01:58,009 LOOP A BROTHER IN NEXT TIME. >> NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF IT'S SUCH A BIG STORY, WHY 56 00:01:58,011 --> 00:01:58,743 >> NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF IT'S SUCH A BIG STORY, WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT IT ON FOX? 57 00:01:58,745 --> 00:01:59,477 IT'S SUCH A BIG STORY, WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT IT ON FOX? >> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE 58 00:01:59,479 --> 00:02:03,648 HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT IT ON FOX? >> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE SUING US FOR $1.6 BILLION, SO 59 00:02:03,650 --> 00:02:05,116 >> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE SUING US FOR $1.6 BILLION, SO >> NO. 60 00:02:05,118 --> 00:02:06,685 SUING US FOR $1.6 BILLION, SO >> NO. IT'S BECAUSE IT'S COMPLETE BS. 61 00:02:06,687 --> 00:02:10,055 >> NO. IT'S BECAUSE IT'S COMPLETE BS. THE MEDIA IS TAKING TWEETS AND 62 00:02:10,057 --> 00:02:12,858 IT'S BECAUSE IT'S COMPLETE BS. THE MEDIA IS TAKING TWEETS AND PUTTING THEM COMPLETELY OUT OF 63 00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:13,225 THE MEDIA IS TAKING TWEETS AND PUTTING THEM COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTEXT. 64 00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,260 PUTTING THEM COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTEXT. >> LIKE THIS ONE. 65 00:02:15,262 --> 00:02:17,128 CONTEXT. >> LIKE THIS ONE. RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANE. 66 00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:19,297 >> LIKE THIS ONE. RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANE. HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THE 67 00:02:19,299 --> 00:02:19,598 RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANE. HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THE REST? 68 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,301 HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THE REST? IT'S RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANELY 69 00:02:23,303 --> 00:02:25,503 REST? IT'S RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANELY HOT. 70 00:02:25,505 --> 00:02:27,105 IT'S RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANELY HOT. I WANT TO LICK THAT HEAD DYE 71 00:02:27,107 --> 00:02:27,505 HOT. I WANT TO LICK THAT HEAD DYE RIGHT OFF. 72 00:02:27,507 --> 00:02:28,940 I WANT TO LICK THAT HEAD DYE RIGHT OFF. >> WHO WOULDN'T? 73 00:02:28,942 --> 00:02:30,642 RIGHT OFF. >> WHO WOULDN'T? AND SOME MESSAGES THEY SHOWED AT 74 00:02:30,644 --> 00:02:35,981 >> WHO WOULDN'T? AND SOME MESSAGES THEY SHOWED AT THE TRIAL DIDN'T RELATE TO THE 75 00:02:35,983 --> 00:02:36,448 AND SOME MESSAGES THEY SHOWED AT THE TRIAL DIDN'T RELATE TO THE LAWSUIT AT ALL. 76 00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:37,749 THE TRIAL DIDN'T RELATE TO THE LAWSUIT AT ALL. FOR EXAMPLE, THE TEXT, MIND 77 00:02:37,751 --> 00:02:40,252 LAWSUIT AT ALL. FOR EXAMPLE, THE TEXT, MIND BLOWINGLY-NUTS, OFF THE RAILS, 78 00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:45,824 FOR EXAMPLE, THE TEXT, MIND BLOWINGLY-NUTS, OFF THE RAILS, AND F'ing LUNATIC WERE ALL SENT 79 00:02:45,826 --> 00:02:49,661 BLOWINGLY-NUTS, OFF THE RAILS, AND F'ing LUNATIC WERE ALL SENT IN RESPONSE TO LAURA INGRAM'S 80 00:02:49,663 --> 00:02:53,265 AND F'ing LUNATIC WERE ALL SENT IN RESPONSE TO LAURA INGRAM'S TEXT, WHAT SHOULD I PUT IN MY 81 00:02:53,267 --> 00:03:02,407 IN RESPONSE TO LAURA INGRAM'S TEXT, WHAT SHOULD I PUT IN MY TINDER BIO? 82 00:03:02,409 --> 00:03:05,477 TEXT, WHAT SHOULD I PUT IN MY TINDER BIO? >> YOU GO, GIRL. 83 00:03:05,479 --> 00:03:07,846 TINDER BIO? >> YOU GO, GIRL. >> I'M DOWN AT CPAC RIGHT NOW, 84 00:03:07,848 --> 00:03:10,215 >> YOU GO, GIRL. >> I'M DOWN AT CPAC RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST. 85 00:03:10,217 --> 00:03:12,284 >> I'M DOWN AT CPAC RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST. I WAS JUST OVER AT THE BIDEN DID 86 00:03:12,286 --> 00:03:13,051 AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST. I WAS JUST OVER AT THE BIDEN DID YOU THINK TANK. 87 00:03:13,053 --> 00:03:14,819 I WAS JUST OVER AT THE BIDEN DID YOU THINK TANK. IT'S NOT THE REAL BIDEN YOU DID 88 00:03:14,821 --> 00:03:16,955 YOU THINK TANK. IT'S NOT THE REAL BIDEN YOU DID YOU THINK, BUT THE ACTOR IS JUST 89 00:03:16,957 --> 00:03:18,690 IT'S NOT THE REAL BIDEN YOU DID YOU THINK, BUT THE ACTOR IS JUST AS OLD, SO YOU NEVER KNOW IF 90 00:03:18,692 --> 00:03:20,325 YOU THINK, BUT THE ACTOR IS JUST AS OLD, SO YOU NEVER KNOW IF HE'S COMING BACK UP. 91 00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:21,393 AS OLD, SO YOU NEVER KNOW IF HE'S COMING BACK UP. THERE'S REAL RISK THERE. 92 00:03:21,395 --> 00:03:22,360 HE'S COMING BACK UP. THERE'S REAL RISK THERE. >> THAT'S GREAT. 93 00:03:22,362 --> 00:03:23,895 THERE'S REAL RISK THERE. >> THAT'S GREAT. WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT 94 00:03:23,897 --> 00:03:25,597 >> THAT'S GREAT. WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT BECAUSE OF THIS LAWSUIT, OUR 95 00:03:25,599 --> 00:03:27,899 WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT BECAUSE OF THIS LAWSUIT, OUR LAWYERS HAVE ASKED YOU PLEASE 96 00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:30,702 BECAUSE OF THIS LAWSUIT, OUR LAWYERS HAVE ASKED YOU PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING CRAZY ABOUT 97 00:03:30,704 --> 00:03:31,069 LAWYERS HAVE ASKED YOU PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING CRAZY ABOUT DOMINION. 98 00:03:31,071 --> 00:03:31,569 DON'T SAY ANYTHING CRAZY ABOUT DOMINION. >> NO PROBLEM. 99 00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:32,270 DOMINION. >> NO PROBLEM. I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED. 100 00:03:32,272 --> 00:03:34,205 >> NO PROBLEM. I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED. I KNOW THE RULES. 101 00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:37,809 I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED. I KNOW THE RULES. EVERY DOMINION MACHINE HAS A 102 00:03:37,811 --> 00:03:40,111 I KNOW THE RULES. EVERY DOMINION MACHINE HAS A VENEZUELAN OOMPAH LOOMPAH INSIDE 103 00:03:40,113 --> 00:03:42,514 EVERY DOMINION MACHINE HAS A VENEZUELAN OOMPAH LOOMPAH INSIDE THAT EATS THE VOTES WITH ITS 104 00:03:42,516 --> 00:03:42,981 VENEZUELAN OOMPAH LOOMPAH INSIDE THAT EATS THE VOTES WITH ITS LITTLE MOUTH. 105 00:03:42,983 --> 00:03:44,582 THAT EATS THE VOTES WITH ITS LITTLE MOUTH. >> MIKE, GOT TO CUT YOU OFF 106 00:03:44,584 --> 00:03:46,651 LITTLE MOUTH. >> MIKE, GOT TO CUT YOU OFF THERE, PAL. 107 00:03:46,653 --> 00:03:47,585 >> MIKE, GOT TO CUT YOU OFF THERE, PAL. WE CAN'T BE SAYING WHATEVER 108 00:03:47,587 --> 00:03:47,953 THERE, PAL. WE CAN'T BE SAYING WHATEVER ANYMORE. 109 00:03:47,955 --> 00:03:48,386 WE CAN'T BE SAYING WHATEVER ANYMORE. >> OF COURSE. 110 00:03:48,388 --> 00:03:51,556 ANYMORE. >> OF COURSE. LET ME CHOOSE MY WORDS 111 00:03:51,558 --> 00:03:51,923 >> OF COURSE. LET ME CHOOSE MY WORDS CAREFULLY. 112 00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:55,126 LET ME CHOOSE MY WORDS CAREFULLY. DOMINION VOTING MACHINES GIVE 113 00:03:55,128 --> 00:03:56,494 CAREFULLY. DOMINION VOTING MACHINES GIVE TRIPLE VOTES TO DEMOCRATS, 114 00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:59,197 DOMINION VOTING MACHINES GIVE TRIPLE VOTES TO DEMOCRATS, ILLEGALS AND THAT LADY M&M THAT 115 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:00,732 TRIPLE VOTES TO DEMOCRATS, ILLEGALS AND THAT LADY M&M THAT STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS. 116 00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:01,366 ILLEGALS AND THAT LADY M&M THAT STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS. >> MIKE! 117 00:04:01,368 --> 00:04:03,134 STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS. >> MIKE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO END IT 118 00:04:03,136 --> 00:04:03,468 >> MIKE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO END IT THERE. 119 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:05,070 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO END IT THERE. >> THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. 120 00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:06,905 THERE. >> THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. I HAVE TO SAY THIS WHOLE 121 00:04:06,907 --> 00:04:08,006 >> THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. I HAVE TO SAY THIS WHOLE DOMINION THING HAS BEEN A 122 00:04:08,008 --> 00:04:10,909 I HAVE TO SAY THIS WHOLE DOMINION THING HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY, 123 00:04:10,911 --> 00:04:15,447 DOMINION THING HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY MY WIFE. 124 00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:17,716 NIGHTMARE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY MY WIFE. SORRY, PILLOWMINA, YOU KNOW IT'S 125 00:04:17,718 --> 00:04:18,016 ESPECIALLY MY WIFE. SORRY, PILLOWMINA, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. 126 00:04:18,018 --> 00:04:18,650 SORRY, PILLOWMINA, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. >> ALL RIGHT. 127 00:04:18,652 --> 00:04:20,151 TRUE. >> ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S TAKE A BREAK. 128 00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:21,820 >> ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S TAKE A BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK 129 00:04:21,822 --> 00:04:24,522 WELL, LET'S TAKE A BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THE ALEX MURDAUGH 130 00:04:24,524 --> 00:04:26,791 WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THE ALEX MURDAUGH SENTENCING WITH OUR FOX CRIME 131 00:04:26,793 --> 00:04:28,593 MORE ABOUT THE ALEX MURDAUGH SENTENCING WITH OUR FOX CRIME EXPERT, O.J. SIMPSON. 132 00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:30,128 SENTENCING WITH OUR FOX CRIME EXPERT, O.J. SIMPSON. >> WHAT? 133 00:04:30,130 --> 00:04:31,596 EXPERT, O.J. SIMPSON. >> WHAT? MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY 134 00:04:31,598 --> 00:04:33,898 >> WHAT? MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY THINKS I'M AN EXPERT ON THIS. 135 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,266 MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY THINKS I'M AN EXPERT ON THIS. SHOOT, BOOKING ME ON THE SHOW 136 00:04:35,268 --> 00:04:36,901 THINKS I'M AN EXPERT ON THIS. SHOOT, BOOKING ME ON THE SHOW WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. 137 00:04:36,903 --> 00:04:42,841 SHOOT, BOOKING ME ON THE SHOW WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST -- 138 00:04:42,843 --> 00:04:44,042 WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST -- NAH, I'M OKAY. 139 00:04:44,044 --> 00:04:46,144 MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST -- NAH, I'M OKAY. AND HEY, MAN, LIVE FROM NEW 140 00:04:46,146 --> 00:04:47,078 NAH, I'M OKAY. AND HEY, MAN, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. 141 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:52,250 AND HEY, MAN, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 142 00:04:52,252 --> 00:04:55,020 YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY 143 00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:55,487 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH -- 144 00:05:20,846 --> 00:05:22,914 ....... 145 00:05:59,952 --> 00:06:00,885 FEATURING -- 146 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:51,569 MUSICAL GUEST KELSEA BALLERINI! AND YOUR HOST, TRAVIS KELCE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TRAVIS 147 00:06:51,571 --> 00:07:08,853 AND YOUR HOST, TRAVIS KELCE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TRAVIS KELCE! 148 00:07:15,928 --> 00:07:24,202 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. 149 00:07:24,204 --> 00:07:25,670 >>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. 150 00:07:25,672 --> 00:07:27,839 YOU SO VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I JUST 151 00:07:27,841 --> 00:07:31,576 IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I JUST WON MY SECOND SUPER BOWL. 152 00:07:31,578 --> 00:07:34,612 AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I JUST WON MY SECOND SUPER BOWL. OH, MAN. 153 00:07:34,614 --> 00:07:36,047 WON MY SECOND SUPER BOWL. OH, MAN. WHICH WAS AMAZING. 154 00:07:36,049 --> 00:07:38,216 OH, MAN. WHICH WAS AMAZING. BUT FOR ME, HOSTING SNL IS THAT 155 00:07:38,218 --> 00:07:41,953 WHICH WAS AMAZING. BUT FOR ME, HOSTING SNL IS THAT MUCH BETTER, BABY. 156 00:07:41,955 --> 00:07:43,388 BUT FOR ME, HOSTING SNL IS THAT MUCH BETTER, BABY. I'M LYING TO YOU ALL. 157 00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:44,489 MUCH BETTER, BABY. I'M LYING TO YOU ALL. I'M LYING. 158 00:07:44,491 --> 00:07:45,590 I'M LYING TO YOU ALL. I'M LYING. I'M KIDDING. 159 00:07:45,592 --> 00:07:47,759 I'M LYING. I'M KIDDING. WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WAS WAY 160 00:07:47,761 --> 00:07:48,092 I'M KIDDING. WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WAS WAY BETTER. 161 00:07:48,094 --> 00:07:52,597 WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WAS WAY BETTER. BUT SERIOUSLY. 162 00:07:52,599 --> 00:07:53,531 BETTER. BUT SERIOUSLY. [ LAUGHTER ] 163 00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:55,533 BUT SERIOUSLY. [ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, I'M HONORED THAT SNL 164 00:07:55,535 --> 00:07:56,901 [ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, I'M HONORED THAT SNL ASKED ME TO HOST. 165 00:07:56,903 --> 00:07:59,003 SERIOUSLY, I'M HONORED THAT SNL ASKED ME TO HOST. I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING A 166 00:07:59,005 --> 00:08:00,338 ASKED ME TO HOST. I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING A MONOLOGUE, BUT THEN I 167 00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,507 I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING A MONOLOGUE, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH 168 00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:02,807 MONOLOGUE, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS. 169 00:08:02,809 --> 00:08:04,475 REMEMBERED, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS. I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS, LIKE 170 00:08:04,477 --> 00:08:07,679 WORDS. I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS, LIKE DURING GAMES, I DO THESE SUPER 171 00:08:07,681 --> 00:08:10,815 I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS, LIKE DURING GAMES, I DO THESE SUPER ELOQUENT PUMP-UP SPEECHES FOR MY 172 00:08:10,817 --> 00:08:11,482 DURING GAMES, I DO THESE SUPER ELOQUENT PUMP-UP SPEECHES FOR MY TEAMMATES. 173 00:08:11,484 --> 00:08:12,784 ELOQUENT PUMP-UP SPEECHES FOR MY TEAMMATES. PLEASE WATCH. 174 00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:17,021 TEAMMATES. PLEASE WATCH. MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, 175 00:08:17,023 --> 00:08:22,694 PLEASE WATCH. MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE. 176 00:08:22,696 --> 00:08:24,862 MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE. AND SOMETIMES I EVEN DO IT IN MY 177 00:08:24,864 --> 00:08:28,766 MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE. AND SOMETIMES I EVEN DO IT IN MY PAT MAHOMES VOICE, MORE, MORE, 178 00:08:28,768 --> 00:08:31,369 AND SOMETIMES I EVEN DO IT IN MY PAT MAHOMES VOICE, MORE, MORE, DO IT, DO IT. 179 00:08:31,371 --> 00:08:32,470 PAT MAHOMES VOICE, MORE, MORE, DO IT, DO IT. LOVE YOU, PAT. 180 00:08:32,472 --> 00:08:34,405 DO IT, DO IT. LOVE YOU, PAT. PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING ABOUT 181 00:08:34,407 --> 00:08:36,241 LOVE YOU, PAT. PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING ABOUT THIS SUPER BOWL IS THAT MY WHOLE 182 00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:42,480 PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING ABOUT THIS SUPER BOWL IS THAT MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS THERE. 183 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,816 THIS SUPER BOWL IS THAT MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS THERE. I GOT TO PLAY AGAINST MY BROTHER 184 00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:49,120 FAMILY WAS THERE. I GOT TO PLAY AGAINST MY BROTHER JASON, WHO IS AN EAGLE. 185 00:08:49,122 --> 00:08:49,520 I GOT TO PLAY AGAINST MY BROTHER JASON, WHO IS AN EAGLE. [ APPLAUSE ] 186 00:08:49,522 --> 00:08:51,055 JASON, WHO IS AN EAGLE. [ APPLAUSE ] AND MY MOM WAS ON TV MORE THAN 187 00:08:51,057 --> 00:08:51,456 [ APPLAUSE ] AND MY MOM WAS ON TV MORE THAN BOTH OF US. 188 00:08:51,458 --> 00:08:56,427 AND MY MOM WAS ON TV MORE THAN BOTH OF US. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 189 00:08:56,429 --> 00:08:57,495 BOTH OF US. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] MY MOM, DAD, AND BROTHER ARE ALL 190 00:08:57,497 --> 00:08:58,463 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] MY MOM, DAD, AND BROTHER ARE ALL HERE TONIGHT. 191 00:08:58,465 --> 00:09:06,137 MY MOM, DAD, AND BROTHER ARE ALL HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 192 00:09:06,139 --> 00:09:09,240 HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU KNOW, PEOP KEEP ASKING ME 193 00:09:09,242 --> 00:09:10,742 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU KNOW, PEOP KEEP ASKING ME WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BEAT MY 194 00:09:10,744 --> 00:09:12,510 YOU KNOW, PEOP KEEP ASKING ME WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BEAT MY BROTHER IN THE SUPER BOWL, AND 195 00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:16,981 WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BEAT MY BROTHER IN THE SUPER BOWL, AND IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD. 196 00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:18,149 BROTHER IN THE SUPER BOWL, AND IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AFTER THE 197 00:09:18,151 --> 00:09:20,618 IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AFTER THE GAME, WE HAD TO RIDE HOME 198 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,320 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AFTER THE GAME, WE HAD TO RIDE HOME TOGETHER. 199 00:09:22,322 --> 00:09:24,322 GAME, WE HAD TO RIDE HOME TOGETHER. OUR MOM DROVE US THERE IN HER 200 00:09:24,324 --> 00:09:27,025 TOGETHER. OUR MOM DROVE US THERE IN HER MINI VAN, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD 201 00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:27,425 OUR MOM DROVE US THERE IN HER MINI VAN, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. 202 00:09:27,427 --> 00:09:30,728 MINI VAN, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM LOST AFTER 203 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:33,564 DAYS. EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM LOST AFTER BEING UP TEN POINTS AT HALF, MY 204 00:09:33,566 --> 00:09:35,967 EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM LOST AFTER BEING UP TEN POINTS AT HALF, MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY 205 00:09:35,969 --> 00:09:36,534 BEING UP TEN POINTS AT HALF, MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY FOR ME. 206 00:09:36,536 --> 00:09:38,836 BROTHER IS ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY FOR ME. AND HE AGREES THAT THE REF MADE 207 00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:39,304 FOR ME. AND HE AGREES THAT THE REF MADE THE RIGHT CALL. 208 00:09:39,306 --> 00:09:45,243 AND HE AGREES THAT THE REF MADE THE RIGHT CALL. IT WAS A HOLDING. 209 00:09:45,245 --> 00:09:49,280 THE RIGHT CALL. IT WAS A HOLDING. [ LAUGHTER ] 210 00:09:49,282 --> 00:09:51,316 IT WAS A HOLDING. [ LAUGHTER ] JASON AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING 211 00:09:51,318 --> 00:09:52,183 [ LAUGHTER ] JASON AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOOTBALL TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE 212 00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:54,018 JASON AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOOTBALL TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS. 213 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,453 FOOTBALL TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS. AND HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN 214 00:09:55,455 --> 00:09:56,654 LITTLE KIDS. AND HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN ME -- AT EVERYTHING. 215 00:09:56,656 --> 00:09:58,456 AND HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN ME -- AT EVERYTHING. IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS AN HONOR 216 00:09:58,458 --> 00:09:59,891 ME -- AT EVERYTHING. IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS AN HONOR STUDENT, AND I GOT KICKED OFF 217 00:09:59,893 --> 00:10:01,759 IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS AN HONOR STUDENT, AND I GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I FAILED 218 00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:03,661 STUDENT, AND I GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I FAILED FRENCH, AND ENGLISH TOO, BUT 219 00:10:03,663 --> 00:10:05,363 THE TEAM BECAUSE I FAILED FRENCH, AND ENGLISH TOO, BUT FRENCH SOUNDS WAY BETTER. 220 00:10:05,365 --> 00:10:07,098 FRENCH, AND ENGLISH TOO, BUT FRENCH SOUNDS WAY BETTER. AND THEN, WHEN WE WERE IN 221 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,800 FRENCH SOUNDS WAY BETTER. AND THEN, WHEN WE WERE IN COLLEGE, I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED 222 00:10:08,802 --> 00:10:11,202 AND THEN, WHEN WE WERE IN COLLEGE, I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I TESTED 223 00:10:11,204 --> 00:10:12,470 COLLEGE, I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I TESTED POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA. 224 00:10:12,472 --> 00:10:16,007 OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I TESTED POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA. SO IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, IF 225 00:10:16,009 --> 00:10:18,176 POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA. SO IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, IF YOU SMOKE WEED AND ARE BAD AT 226 00:10:18,178 --> 00:10:18,910 SO IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, IF YOU SMOKE WEED AND ARE BAD AT SCHOOL, YOU CAN WIN THE SUPER 227 00:10:18,912 --> 00:10:20,611 YOU SMOKE WEED AND ARE BAD AT SCHOOL, YOU CAN WIN THE SUPER BOWL TWICE. 228 00:10:20,613 --> 00:10:25,216 SCHOOL, YOU CAN WIN THE SUPER BOWL TWICE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 229 00:10:25,218 --> 00:10:26,684 BOWL TWICE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME HOSTING 230 00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:27,852 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME HOSTING A TV SHOW. 231 00:10:27,854 --> 00:10:36,561 THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME HOSTING A TV SHOW. I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN DATES SHOW 232 00:10:36,563 --> 00:10:40,231 A TV SHOW. I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN DATES SHOW ON E CALLED CATCHING KELCE. 233 00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,299 I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN DATES SHOW ON E CALLED CATCHING KELCE. IT WAS LIKE THE BACHELOR EXCEPT 234 00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:43,801 ON E CALLED CATCHING KELCE. IT WAS LIKE THE BACHELOR EXCEPT INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT ROSES, I 235 00:10:43,803 --> 00:10:45,002 IT WAS LIKE THE BACHELOR EXCEPT INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT ROSES, I HANDED OUT FOOTBALLS, AND 236 00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:46,637 INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT ROSES, I HANDED OUT FOOTBALLS, AND INSTEAD OF WATCHING, PEOPLE DID 237 00:10:46,639 --> 00:10:48,740 HANDED OUT FOOTBALLS, AND INSTEAD OF WATCHING, PEOPLE DID NOT. 238 00:10:48,742 --> 00:10:49,340 INSTEAD OF WATCHING, PEOPLE DID NOT. WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT 239 00:10:49,342 --> 00:10:49,774 NOT. WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING. 240 00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:51,709 WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I GOT PRETTY 241 00:10:51,711 --> 00:10:53,411 EMBARRASSING. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I GOT PRETTY GOOD AT REALITY TV. 242 00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:55,246 BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I GOT PRETTY GOOD AT REALITY TV. CHECK THIS ONE OUT. 243 00:10:55,248 --> 00:10:57,315 GOOD AT REALITY TV. CHECK THIS ONE OUT. WHAT DO WE NAME THIS? 244 00:10:57,317 --> 00:10:58,549 CHECK THIS ONE OUT. WHAT DO WE NAME THIS? >> STANLEY. 245 00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:05,957 WHAT DO WE NAME THIS? >> STANLEY. >> AVERY IS HYSTERICAL. 246 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:06,357 >> STANLEY. >> AVERY IS HYSTERICAL. [ LAUGHTER ] 247 00:11:06,359 --> 00:11:11,829 >> AVERY IS HYSTERICAL. [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? 248 00:11:11,831 --> 00:11:16,300 [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? THAT SHOW IS OWNED BY NBC 249 00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,369 RIGHT? THAT SHOW IS OWNED BY NBC UNIVERSAL, SO IT SHOULD BE ON 250 00:11:18,371 --> 00:11:19,704 THAT SHOW IS OWNED BY NBC UNIVERSAL, SO IT SHOULD BE ON PEACOCK, BUT PEACOCK SAID, NAH, 251 00:11:19,706 --> 00:11:22,940 UNIVERSAL, SO IT SHOULD BE ON PEACOCK, BUT PEACOCK SAID, NAH, WE GOOD. 252 00:11:22,942 --> 00:11:25,176 PEACOCK, BUT PEACOCK SAID, NAH, WE GOOD. I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD MAKE HIM 253 00:11:25,178 --> 00:11:25,610 WE GOOD. I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD MAKE HIM SMILE. 254 00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:27,545 I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD MAKE HIM SMILE. BUT REALLY, IT'S COOL TO BE 255 00:11:27,547 --> 00:11:27,979 SMILE. BUT REALLY, IT'S COOL TO BE HERE. 256 00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:30,782 BUT REALLY, IT'S COOL TO BE HERE. I GREW UP WATCHING SNL WITH MY 257 00:11:30,784 --> 00:11:32,150 HERE. I GREW UP WATCHING SNL WITH MY MOTHER. 258 00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:33,951 I GREW UP WATCHING SNL WITH MY MOTHER. I LOVE FARRELL, THE SANDMAN 259 00:11:33,953 --> 00:11:36,053 MOTHER. I LOVE FARRELL, THE SANDMAN CHRIS FARLEY, AND TO BE STANDING 260 00:11:36,055 --> 00:11:39,424 I LOVE FARRELL, THE SANDMAN CHRIS FARLEY, AND TO BE STANDING ON THIS STAGE, WHEW, PRETTY 261 00:11:39,426 --> 00:11:40,258 CHRIS FARLEY, AND TO BE STANDING ON THIS STAGE, WHEW, PRETTY SURREAL. 262 00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:41,259 ON THIS STAGE, WHEW, PRETTY SURREAL. AND TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE 263 00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:42,960 SURREAL. AND TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE IT EVERYTHING I GOT. 264 00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:50,768 AND TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE IT EVERYTHING I GOT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 265 00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:53,204 IT EVERYTHING I GOT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, MORE, 266 00:11:53,206 --> 00:11:56,808 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE AND MORE! 267 00:11:56,810 --> 00:12:00,478 AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE AND MORE! WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 268 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,647 MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE AND MORE! WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! 269 00:12:02,649 --> 00:12:03,548 WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! KELSEA BALLERINI IS HERE! 270 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:13,541 TONIGHT! KELSEA BALLERINI IS HERE! 271 00:12:13,675 --> 00:12:25,102 PAPE 272 00:12:25,337 --> 00:12:30,408 >>> AND SOME MORE TEA FOR CLAIRABELLE? BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL 273 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:31,943 CLAIRABELLE? BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL CLAIRABELLE IT'S H, OKAY? 274 00:12:31,945 --> 00:12:32,477 BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL CLAIRABELLE IT'S H, OKAY? >> OKA 275 00:12:32,479 --> 00:12:33,010 CLAIRABELLE IT'S H, OKAY? >> OKA >> THANK YOU. 276 00:12:33,012 --> 00:12:35,179 >> OKA >> THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU. 277 00:12:35,181 --> 00:12:36,781 >> THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU. HI THERE! 278 00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:39,984 >> THANK YOU. HI THERE! WELCOME TO AMERICAN GIRL CAFE. 279 00:12:39,986 --> 00:12:41,052 HI THERE! WELCOME TO AMERICAN GIRL CAFE. I'M SHANE, I'LL BE TAKING CARE 280 00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:46,757 WELCOME TO AMERICAN GIRL CAFE. I'M SHANE, I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF YOU THIS AFTERNOON. 281 00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:48,526 I'M SHANE, I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF YOU THIS AFTERNOON. I STILL SEE YOU'RE WAITING ON 282 00:12:48,528 --> 00:12:48,993 OF YOU THIS AFTERNOON. I STILL SEE YOU'RE WAITING ON SOME FOLKS? 283 00:12:48,995 --> 00:12:49,494 I STILL SEE YOU'RE WAITING ON SOME FOLKS? >> NOPE. 284 00:12:49,496 --> 00:12:50,595 SOME FOLKS? >> NOPE. GANG'S ALL HERE. 285 00:12:50,597 --> 00:12:55,099 >> NOPE. GANG'S ALL HERE. >> OKAY. 286 00:12:55,101 --> 00:12:56,801 GANG'S ALL HERE. >> OKAY. SO YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR YOUR 287 00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:57,401 >> OKAY. SO YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR YOUR DAUGHTER OR YOUR NIECE? 288 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:58,736 SO YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR YOUR DAUGHTER OR YOUR NIECE? >> NOPE. 289 00:12:58,738 --> 00:13:02,039 DAUGHTER OR YOUR NIECE? >> NOPE. IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS. 290 00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:06,544 >> NOPE. IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS. THIS IS CLAIRE, THAT'S ISABELLE. 291 00:13:06,546 --> 00:13:07,778 IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS. THIS IS CLAIRE, THAT'S ISABELLE. >> OKEYDOKEY. 292 00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,981 THIS IS CLAIRE, THAT'S ISABELLE. >> OKEYDOKEY. I ALWAYS START BY ASKING IF 293 00:13:09,983 --> 00:13:11,849 >> OKEYDOKEY. I ALWAYS START BY ASKING IF THERE ARE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES I 294 00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:12,850 I ALWAYS START BY ASKING IF THERE ARE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES I SHOULD BE AWARE OF? 295 00:13:12,852 --> 00:13:13,417 THERE ARE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES I SHOULD BE AWARE OF? >> NO. 296 00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:16,053 SHOULD BE AWARE OF? >> NO. BUT THIS ONE IS DOING KETO RIGHT 297 00:13:16,055 --> 00:13:16,354 >> NO. BUT THIS ONE IS DOING KETO RIGHT NOW. 298 00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:18,089 BUT THIS ONE IS DOING KETO RIGHT NOW. >> AND ARE YOU ALLOWED WITHIN A 299 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:20,591 NOW. >> AND ARE YOU ALLOWED WITHIN A THOUSAND FEEOF A SCHOOL? 300 00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:21,659 >> AND ARE YOU ALLOWED WITHIN A THOUSAND FEEOF A SCHOOL? >> YES. 301 00:13:21,661 --> 00:13:21,926 THOUSAND FEEOF A SCHOOL? >> YES. WHY? 302 00:13:21,928 --> 00:13:24,195 >> YES. WHY? >> JUST A STANDARD QUESTION WE 303 00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:26,397 WHY? >> JUST A STANDARD QUESTION WE ASK ALL OF OUR PATRONS. 304 00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:27,732 >> JUST A STANDARD QUESTION WE ASK ALL OF OUR PATRONS. CAN I START YOU OUT WITH 305 00:13:27,734 --> 00:13:29,166 ASK ALL OF OUR PATRONS. CAN I START YOU OUT WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK? 306 00:13:29,168 --> 00:13:31,836 CAN I START YOU OUT WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK? >> A GLASS OF ROSE. 307 00:13:31,838 --> 00:13:33,738 SOMETHING TO DRINK? >> A GLASS OF ROSE. I'LL NEED A DRINK TO GET ME 308 00:13:33,740 --> 00:13:36,073 >> A GLASS OF ROSE. I'LL NEED A DRINK TO GET ME THROUGH LUNCH WITH THESE TWO 309 00:13:36,075 --> 00:13:36,507 I'LL NEED A DRINK TO GET ME THROUGH LUNCH WITH THESE TWO DRAMA QUEENS. 310 00:13:36,509 --> 00:13:37,642 THROUGH LUNCH WITH THESE TWO DRAMA QUEENS. >> WONDERFUL. 311 00:13:37,644 --> 00:13:39,577 DRAMA QUEENS. >> WONDERFUL. I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR ID. 312 00:13:39,579 --> 00:13:40,545 >> WONDERFUL. I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR ID. SO SORRY. 313 00:13:40,547 --> 00:13:43,915 I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR ID. SO SORRY. THEY MAKE US ASK EVERYONE. 314 00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:44,315 SO SORRY. THEY MAKE US ASK EVERYONE. THANKS. 315 00:13:44,317 --> 00:13:46,517 THEY MAKE US ASK EVERYONE. THANKS. AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER 316 00:13:46,519 --> 00:13:48,119 THANKS. AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER NAMES YOU USE, RIGHT? 317 00:13:48,121 --> 00:13:49,854 AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER NAMES YOU USE, RIGHT? THIS IS THE NAME THAT WOULD 318 00:13:49,856 --> 00:13:52,723 NAMES YOU USE, RIGHT? THIS IS THE NAME THAT WOULD APPEAR ON ANY ONLINE COURT 319 00:13:52,725 --> 00:13:54,792 THIS IS THE NAME THAT WOULD APPEAR ON ANY ONLINE COURT DOCUMENTS OR REGISTERED ON ANY 320 00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:55,359 APPEAR ON ANY ONLINE COURT DOCUMENTS OR REGISTERED ON ANY GOVERNMENT LIST? 321 00:13:55,361 --> 00:13:56,994 DOCUMENTS OR REGISTERED ON ANY GOVERNMENT LIST? >> THAT'S THE ONE. 322 00:13:56,996 --> 00:13:59,297 GOVERNMENT LIST? >> THAT'S THE ONE. BUT THE ONLY LIST YOU'LL FIND ME 323 00:13:59,299 --> 00:14:00,131 >> THAT'S THE ONE. BUT THE ONLY LIST YOU'LL FIND ME ON IS THE HUNGRIEST CUSTOMER 324 00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:01,432 BUT THE ONLY LIST YOU'LL FIND ME ON IS THE HUNGRIEST CUSTOMER LIST. 325 00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:01,799 ON IS THE HUNGRIEST CUSTOMER LIST. >> RIGHT. 326 00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:06,304 LIST. >> RIGHT. OKAY. 327 00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:09,407 >> RIGHT. OKAY. SHALL I BRING YOU SOME MENUS 328 00:14:09,409 --> 00:14:09,707 OKAY. SHALL I BRING YOU SOME MENUS THEN? 329 00:14:09,709 --> 00:14:10,608 SHALL I BRING YOU SOME MENUS THEN? >> NO NEED. 330 00:14:10,610 --> 00:14:12,176 THEN? >> NO NEED. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT. 331 00:14:12,178 --> 00:14:14,979 >> NO NEED. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT. I'LL HAVE A 64-OUNCE PORTER 332 00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:15,413 I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT. I'LL HAVE A 64-OUNCE PORTER HOUSE, RARE. 333 00:14:15,415 --> 00:14:17,014 I'LL HAVE A 64-OUNCE PORTER HOUSE, RARE. >> UNFORTUNATELY, WE DO NOT 334 00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:18,683 HOUSE, RARE. >> UNFORTUNATELY, WE DO NOT SERVE GIANT STEAKS HERE. 335 00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:19,684 >> UNFORTUNATELY, WE DO NOT SERVE GIANT STEAKS HERE. IT'S JUST A CAFE. 336 00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:23,154 SERVE GIANT STEAKS HERE. IT'S JUST A CAFE. >> OH, WELL, WE'LL NEED MENUS 337 00:14:23,156 --> 00:14:23,621 IT'S JUST A CAFE. >> OH, WELL, WE'LL NEED MENUS THEN. 338 00:14:23,623 --> 00:14:26,090 >> OH, WELL, WE'LL NEED MENUS THEN. FYI, DON'T BRING OUT ANY KIDS 339 00:14:26,092 --> 00:14:27,491 THEN. FYI, DON'T BRING OUT ANY KIDS MENUS FOR THE GIRLS. 340 00:14:27,493 --> 00:14:28,926 FYI, DON'T BRING OUT ANY KIDS MENUS FOR THE GIRLS. ISABELLE JUST HAD HER PERIOD, 341 00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:30,361 MENUS FOR THE GIRLS. ISABELLE JUST HAD HER PERIOD, AND SHE THINKS SHE'S A WOMAN 342 00:14:30,363 --> 00:14:30,661 ISABELLE JUST HAD HER PERIOD, AND SHE THINKS SHE'S A WOMAN NOW. 343 00:14:30,663 --> 00:14:33,264 AND SHE THINKS SHE'S A WOMAN NOW. >> WONDERFUL. 344 00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:37,335 NOW. >> WONDERFUL. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT. 345 00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:38,336 >> WONDERFUL. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT. LET 346 00:14:38,338 --> 00:14:41,072 THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT. LET .......... 347 00:14:41,074 --> 00:14:42,039 LET .......... 348 00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:45,543 AROUSED. NOPE. ALL CLEAR. 349 00:14:45,545 --> 00:14:45,843 NOPE. ALL CLEAR. OKAY. 350 00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:47,144 ALL CLEAR. OKAY. I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY. 351 00:14:47,146 --> 00:14:47,878 OKAY. I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY. >> HI. 352 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,780 I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY. >> HI. MY DAUGHTER'S SHY, BUT SHE 353 00:14:49,782 --> 00:14:51,816 >> HI. MY DAUGHTER'S SHY, BUT SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR DOLLS 354 00:14:51,818 --> 00:14:53,217 MY DAUGHTER'S SHY, BUT SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR DOLLS WANTED SOME OF HER PIZZA. 355 00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:55,620 WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR DOLLS WANTED SOME OF HER PIZZA. >> THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. 356 00:14:55,622 --> 00:14:57,188 WANTED SOME OF HER PIZZA. >> THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. THEY DON'T NEED THE CALORIES, 357 00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:57,922 >> THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. THEY DON'T NEED THE CALORIES, AND FRANKLY, NEITHER DOES YOUR 358 00:14:57,924 --> 00:14:59,857 THEY DON'T NEED THE CALORIES, AND FRANKLY, NEITHER DOES YOUR DAUGHTER. 359 00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:01,926 AND FRANKLY, NEITHER DOES YOUR DAUGHTER. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? 360 00:15:01,928 --> 00:15:02,693 DAUGHTER. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. 361 00:15:02,695 --> 00:15:05,496 >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. BYE NOW. 362 00:15:05,498 --> 00:15:06,364 >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. BYE NOW. >> HI THERE. 363 00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:08,265 BYE NOW. >> HI THERE. I'M LUCY, THE MANAGER. 364 00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:12,136 >> HI THERE. I'M LUCY, THE MANAGER. JUST A SAFETY THING WE DO HERE. 365 00:15:12,138 --> 00:15:15,773 I'M LUCY, THE MANAGER. JUST A SAFETY THING WE DO HERE. YOU MIN ALWAYS KEEPING BOTH 366 00:15:15,775 --> 00:15:17,308 JUST A SAFETY THING WE DO HERE. YOU MIN ALWAYS KEEPING BOTH HANDS ON THE TABLE, JUST SO WE 367 00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:19,310 YOU MIN ALWAYS KEEPING BOTH HANDS ON THE TABLE, JUST SO WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING 368 00:15:19,312 --> 00:15:21,412 HANDS ON THE TABLE, JUST SO WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING UNAPPROPRIATE UNDER THERE? 369 00:15:21,414 --> 00:15:23,247 KNOW YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING UNAPPROPRIATE UNDER THERE? SORRY IT'S A VESTIGE OF THE 370 00:15:23,249 --> 00:15:24,682 UNAPPROPRIATE UNDER THERE? SORRY IT'S A VESTIGE OF THE COVID ERA. 371 00:15:24,684 --> 00:15:25,016 SORRY IT'S A VESTIGE OF THE COVID ERA. ENJOY. 372 00:15:25,018 --> 00:15:25,549 COVID ERA. ENJOY. >> WOW. 373 00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:27,885 ENJOY. >> WOW. HOW COOL IS THIS SWEETHEART? 374 00:15:27,887 --> 00:15:29,654 >> WOW. HOW COOL IS THIS SWEETHEART? I HOPE LOGAN IS HUNGRY. 375 00:15:29,656 --> 00:15:31,288 HOW COOL IS THIS SWEETHEART? I HOPE LOGAN IS HUNGRY. >> UH-OH, CHECK YOUR MAKEUP, 376 00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:31,589 I HOPE LOGAN IS HUNGRY. >> UH-OH, CHECK YOUR MAKEUP, GIRLS. 377 00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:44,068 >> UH-OH, CHECK YOUR MAKEUP, GIRLS. BOY ALERT. 378 00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:46,470 GIRLS. BOY ALERT. >> UMM, HELLO. 379 00:15:46,472 --> 00:15:48,039 BOY ALERT. >> UMM, HELLO. IS THERE A REASON THAT YOUR 380 00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:50,007 >> UMM, HELLO. IS THERE A REASON THAT YOUR DOLLS ARE LOOKING AT US, SIR? 381 00:15:50,009 --> 00:15:52,643 IS THERE A REASON THAT YOUR DOLLS ARE LOOKING AT US, SIR? >> YOU BRING A STUD LIKE THAT IN 382 00:15:52,645 --> 00:15:56,714 DOLLS ARE LOOKING AT US, SIR? >> YOU BRING A STUD LIKE THAT IN HERE, HE'S GOING TO TURN A FEW 383 00:15:56,716 --> 00:15:57,048 >> YOU BRING A STUD LIKE THAT IN HERE, HE'S GOING TO TURN A FEW HEADS. 384 00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:57,748 HERE, HE'S GOING TO TURN A FEW HEADS. >> YEAH. 385 00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:58,716 HEADS. >> YEAH. EXCUSE ME. 386 00:15:58,718 --> 00:16:00,184 >> YEAH. EXCUSE ME. THAT GENTLEMAN AT THAT TABLE -- 387 00:16:00,186 --> 00:16:03,087 EXCUSE ME. THAT GENTLEMAN AT THAT TABLE -- >> OH, HE IS HERE ALONE, BUT HE 388 00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:04,221 THAT GENTLEMAN AT THAT TABLE -- >> OH, HE IS HERE ALONE, BUT HE SEEMS TO BE HARMLESS. 389 00:16:04,223 --> 00:16:06,323 >> OH, HE IS HERE ALONE, BUT HE SEEMS TO BE HARMLESS. >> SO HE'S NOT -- 390 00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:10,695 SEEMS TO BE HARMLESS. >> SO HE'S NOT -- >> AROUSED? 391 00:16:10,697 --> 00:16:12,396 >> SO HE'S NOT -- >> AROUSED? NO, I CHECKED. 392 00:16:12,398 --> 00:16:14,365 >> AROUSED? NO, I CHECKED. >> AND YOU'RE SURE HE'S 393 00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:14,732 NO, I CHECKED. >> AND YOU'RE SURE HE'S HARMLESS? 394 00:16:14,734 --> 00:16:16,300 >> AND YOU'RE SURE HE'S HARMLESS? >> ISABELLE SAID SHE WAS HOT, 395 00:16:16,302 --> 00:16:19,203 HARMLESS? >> ISABELLE SAID SHE WAS HOT, BUT I THINK SHE WANTED TO SHOW 396 00:16:19,205 --> 00:16:19,670 >> ISABELLE SAID SHE WAS HOT, BUT I THINK SHE WANTED TO SHOW HER BODY OFF. 397 00:16:19,672 --> 00:16:21,772 BUT I THINK SHE WANTED TO SHOW HER BODY OFF. >> YEAH, HE TALKING ABOUT 398 00:16:21,774 --> 00:16:23,941 HER BODY OFF. >> YEAH, HE TALKING ABOUT SHOWING OFF THE BODY OF A DOLL. 399 00:16:23,943 --> 00:16:25,342 >> YEAH, HE TALKING ABOUT SHOWING OFF THE BODY OF A DOLL. THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE THING 400 00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:26,177 SHOWING OFF THE BODY OF A DOLL. THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE THING I'VE HEARD TODAY. 401 00:16:26,179 --> 00:16:27,712 THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE THING I'VE HEARD TODAY. HE'S COMING OVER HERE. 402 00:16:27,714 --> 00:16:28,012 I'VE HEARD TODAY. HE'S COMING OVER HERE. OKAY. 403 00:16:28,014 --> 00:16:31,549 HE'S COMING OVER HERE. OKAY. >> LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN. 404 00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:31,949 OKAY. >> LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN. DON'T WORRY. 405 00:16:31,951 --> 00:16:41,692 >> LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN. DON'T WORRY. SHE'S ON THE PILL. 406 00:16:41,694 --> 00:16:45,029 DON'T WORRY. SHE'S ON THE PILL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 407 00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:46,664 SHE'S ON THE PILL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME JUST -- DARIUS, CAN 408 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:48,499 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME JUST -- DARIUS, CAN YOU -- 409 00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:48,933 LET ME JUST -- DARIUS, CAN YOU -- >> WHAT'S UP? 410 00:16:48,935 --> 00:16:51,402 YOU -- >> WHAT'S UP? LUCY SAID WE HAVE A POSSIBL 411 00:16:51,404 --> 00:16:51,902 >> WHAT'S UP? LUCY SAID WE HAVE A POSSIBL CREEPER IN HERE. 412 00:16:51,904 --> 00:16:53,337 LUCY SAID WE HAVE A POSSIBL CREEPER IN HERE. >> YEAH, OVER THERE. 413 00:16:53,339 --> 00:16:54,605 CREEPER IN HERE. >> YEAH, OVER THERE. >> DON'T WORRY, SIR. 414 00:16:54,607 --> 00:16:55,005 >> YEAH, OVER THERE. >> DON'T WORRY, SIR. I'M ON IT. 415 00:16:55,007 --> 00:16:57,141 >> DON'T WORRY, SIR. I'M ON IT. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. 416 00:16:57,143 --> 00:17:00,811 I'M ON IT. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> HEY, LISTEN UP, PERVERT! 417 00:17:00,813 --> 00:17:02,480 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> HEY, LISTEN UP, PERVERT! YOU DO ANYTHING SHADY IN HERE, 418 00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:03,547 >> HEY, LISTEN UP, PERVERT! YOU DO ANYTHING SHADY IN HERE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM. 419 00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:04,582 YOU DO ANYTHING SHADY IN HERE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM. YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 420 00:17:04,584 --> 00:17:06,650 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM. YOU UNDERSTAND ME? >> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? 421 00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:15,960 YOU UNDERSTAND ME? >> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. 422 00:17:15,962 --> 00:17:16,994 >> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. >>> WHERE ARE OUR COFFEES? 423 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:17,695 >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. >>> WHERE ARE OUR COFFEES? WASN'T AN INTERN SUPPOSED TO 424 00:17:17,697 --> 00:17:18,062 >>> WHERE ARE OUR COFFEES? WASN'T AN INTERN SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM? 425 00:17:18,064 --> 00:17:20,197 WASN'T AN INTERN SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM? >> LET ME CHECK. 426 00:17:20,199 --> 00:17:21,298 GRAB THEM? >> LET ME CHECK. LOOKS LIKE THEY SAID, WE DON'T 427 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:21,999 >> LET ME CHECK. LOOKS LIKE THEY SAID, WE DON'T GET COFFEES FOR LITTLE BITCH 428 00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:26,470 LOOKS LIKE THEY SAID, WE DON'T GET COFFEES FOR LITTLE BITCH BOYS. 429 00:17:26,472 --> 00:17:27,171 GET COFFEES FOR LITTLE BITCH BOYS. >> AGAIN? 430 00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:29,774 BOYS. >> AGAIN? >> COME ON, MAN, ARE WE LITTLE 431 00:17:29,776 --> 00:17:30,775 >> AGAIN? >> COME ON, MAN, ARE WE LITTLE BITCH BOYS? 432 00:17:30,777 --> 00:17:32,376 >> COME ON, MAN, ARE WE LITTLE BITCH BOYS? >> WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO STICK 433 00:17:32,378 --> 00:17:35,279 BITCH BOYS? >> WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO STICK UP FOR OURSELVES. 434 00:17:35,281 --> 00:17:37,815 >> WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO STICK UP FOR OURSELVES. >> WE CAN'T KEEP GETTING BULLIED 435 00:17:37,817 --> 00:17:38,215 UP FOR OURSELVES. >> WE CAN'T KEEP GETTING BULLIED BY INTERNS. 436 00:17:38,217 --> 00:17:38,949 >> WE CAN'T KEEP GETTING BULLIED BY INTERNS. I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN 437 00:17:38,951 --> 00:17:39,316 BY INTERNS. I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP US. 438 00:17:39,318 --> 00:17:40,017 I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP US. >> I'M KURT LIGHTNING, AND I 439 00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:40,751 HELP US. >> I'M KURT LIGHTNING, AND I KNOW WHY YOU ALL SIGNED UP FOR 440 00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:41,118 >> I'M KURT LIGHTNING, AND I KNOW WHY YOU ALL SIGNED UP FOR MY CLASS. 441 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,086 KNOW WHY YOU ALL SIGNED UP FOR MY CLASS. YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR CONFIDENCE. 442 00:17:42,088 --> 00:17:44,255 MY CLASS. YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR CONFIDENCE. THE CONFIDENCE OF NOT ONLY 443 00:17:44,257 --> 00:17:45,956 YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR CONFIDENCE. THE CONFIDENCE OF NOT ONLY KNOWING YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF, 444 00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,024 THE CONFIDENCE OF NOT ONLY KNOWING YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF, BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMEBODY WORTH 445 00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:49,660 KNOWING YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF, BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMEBODY WORTH DEFENDING. 446 00:17:49,662 --> 00:17:50,761 BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMEBODY WORTH DEFENDING. SAY IT WITH ME, I AM WORTH IT. 447 00:17:50,763 --> 00:17:51,762 DEFENDING. SAY IT WITH ME, I AM WORTH IT. >> I AM WORTH IT. 448 00:17:51,764 --> 00:17:53,397 SAY IT WITH ME, I AM WORTH IT. >> I AM WORTH IT. >> SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. 449 00:17:53,399 --> 00:17:54,465 >> I AM WORTH IT. >> SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. >> I AM WORTH IT! 450 00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:54,999 >> SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. >> I AM WORTH IT! >> FEEL IT! 451 00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:58,769 >> I AM WORTH IT! >> FEEL IT! YOU, GET UP HERE. 452 00:17:58,771 --> 00:18:00,404 >> FEEL IT! YOU, GET UP HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON? 453 00:18:00,406 --> 00:18:02,072 YOU, GET UP HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON? >> JOHN. 454 00:18:02,074 --> 00:18:03,674 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON? >> JOHN. >> OH, JOHN, I CAN HEAR IT IN 455 00:18:03,676 --> 00:18:04,742 >> JOHN. >> OH, JOHN, I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE. 456 00:18:04,744 --> 00:18:06,343 >> OH, JOHN, I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE. YOU FEEL SMALL, DON'T YOU, SON? 457 00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:08,479 YOUR VOICE. YOU FEEL SMALL, DON'T YOU, SON? >> YES. 458 00:18:08,481 --> 00:18:09,213 YOU FEEL SMALL, DON'T YOU, SON? >> YES. >> YOU GOT TO OWN IT, SON, OWN 459 00:18:09,215 --> 00:18:10,147 >> YES. >> YOU GOT TO OWN IT, SON, OWN YOUR TRUTH. 460 00:18:10,149 --> 00:18:11,749 >> YOU GOT TO OWN IT, SON, OWN YOUR TRUTH. >> I FEEL SMALL. 461 00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:12,817 YOUR TRUTH. >> I FEEL SMALL. >> BUT YOU'RE NOT SMALL. 462 00:18:12,819 --> 00:18:16,587 >> I FEEL SMALL. >> BUT YOU'RE NOT SMALL. PUT YOUR HANDS UP. 463 00:18:16,589 --> 00:18:18,189 >> BUT YOU'RE NOT SMALL. PUT YOUR HANDS UP. I AM GOING TO STRIKE, AND WHEN I 464 00:18:18,191 --> 00:18:20,357 PUT YOUR HANDS UP. I AM GOING TO STRIKE, AND WHEN I STRIKE, YOU DEFLECT, AND I WANT 465 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,493 I AM GOING TO STRIKE, AND WHEN I STRIKE, YOU DEFLECT, AND I WANT YOU TO HIT ME BACK, AND WHEN YOU 466 00:18:22,495 --> 00:18:24,094 STRIKE, YOU DEFLECT, AND I WANT YOU TO HIT ME BACK, AND WHEN YOU DO, IMAGINE I'M THE VOICE IN 467 00:18:24,096 --> 00:18:24,829 YOU TO HIT ME BACK, AND WHEN YOU DO, IMAGINE I'M THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU YOU AREN'T 468 00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:25,196 DO, IMAGINE I'M THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU YOU AREN'T WORTH IT. 469 00:18:25,198 --> 00:18:26,730 YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU YOU AREN'T WORTH IT. BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU? 470 00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:27,832 WORTH IT. BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU? >> I AM WORTH IT! 471 00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:28,399 BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU? >> I AM WORTH IT! >> NOW, ARE YOU READY? 472 00:18:28,401 --> 00:18:30,534 >> I AM WORTH IT! >> NOW, ARE YOU READY? >> I AM RED -- 473 00:18:30,536 --> 00:18:32,136 >> NOW, ARE YOU READY? >> I AM RED -- >> DUDE! 474 00:18:32,138 --> 00:18:33,204 >> I AM RED -- >> DUDE! >> TOO SLOW, FATSO. 475 00:18:33,206 --> 00:18:37,575 >> DUDE! >> TOO SLOW, FATSO. WHO'S NEXT? 476 00:18:37,577 --> 00:18:39,476 >> TOO SLOW, FATSO. WHO'S NEXT? >> TOM, ARE YOU OKAY? 477 00:18:39,478 --> 00:18:40,911 WHO'S NEXT? >> TOM, ARE YOU OKAY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM? 478 00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:41,412 >> TOM, ARE YOU OKAY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM? >> YOU'RE NEXT. 479 00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:41,946 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM? >> YOU'RE NEXT. >> I'M -- 480 00:18:41,948 --> 00:18:42,646 >> YOU'RE NEXT. >> I'M -- >> WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID, SON? 481 00:18:42,648 --> 00:18:43,347 >> I'M -- >> WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID, SON? >> YOU PUNCHED MY FRIEND, AND 482 00:18:43,349 --> 00:18:46,283 >> WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID, SON? >> YOU PUNCHED MY FRIEND, AND I'M WORRIED HE'S DEAD. 483 00:18:46,285 --> 00:18:47,017 >> YOU PUNCHED MY FRIEND, AND I'M WORRIED HE'S DEAD. >> YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR FATHER WAS 484 00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:47,885 I'M WORRIED HE'S DEAD. >> YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR FATHER WAS RIGHT. 485 00:18:47,887 --> 00:18:51,622 >> YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR FATHER WAS RIGHT. >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT 486 00:18:51,624 --> 00:18:51,889 RIGHT. >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM. 487 00:18:51,891 --> 00:18:52,623 >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM. >> THAT'S NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE 488 00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:53,224 HIM. >> THAT'S NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WAS WRONG. 489 00:18:53,226 --> 00:18:55,359 >> THAT'S NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WAS WRONG. >> KURT, PLEASE. 490 00:18:55,361 --> 00:18:56,427 YOUR FATHER WAS WRONG. >> KURT, PLEASE. >> YOU ARE A MAN, AND I NEED YOU 491 00:18:56,429 --> 00:18:58,062 >> KURT, PLEASE. >> YOU ARE A MAN, AND I NEED YOU TO TELL HIM. 492 00:18:58,064 --> 00:18:59,129 >> YOU ARE A MAN, AND I NEED YOU TO TELL HIM. >> HOW? 493 00:18:59,131 --> 00:19:05,603 TO TELL HIM. >> HOW? >> CLOSE YOUR EYES. 494 00:19:05,605 --> 00:19:06,570 >> HOW? >> CLOSE YOUR EYES. >> OH! 495 00:19:06,572 --> 00:19:10,074 >> CLOSE YOUR EYES. >> OH! >> DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE, BUCKO! 496 00:19:10,076 --> 00:19:10,741 >> OH! >> DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE, BUCKO! HE REALLY CLOSED HIS EYES. 497 00:19:10,743 --> 00:19:12,209 >> DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE, BUCKO! HE REALLY CLOSED HIS EYES. >> IS THIS WHAT THE CLASS IS? 498 00:19:12,211 --> 00:19:12,910 HE REALLY CLOSED HIS EYES. >> IS THIS WHAT THE CLASS IS? >> YOU HAVE BEEN SCARED YOUR 499 00:19:12,912 --> 00:19:13,777 >> IS THIS WHAT THE CLASS IS? >> YOU HAVE BEEN SCARED YOUR WHOLE LIFE. 500 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:14,912 >> YOU HAVE BEEN SCARED YOUR WHOLE LIFE. >> OH, NO. 501 00:19:14,914 --> 00:19:15,613 WHOLE LIFE. >> OH, NO. >> YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER AT A 502 00:19:15,615 --> 00:19:16,480 >> OH, NO. >> YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER AT A YOUNG AGE. 503 00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:17,548 >> YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER AT A YOUNG AGE. >> THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 504 00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:18,616 YOUNG AGE. >> THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. >> BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WASN'T 505 00:19:18,618 --> 00:19:19,183 >> THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. >> BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT HER. 506 00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:21,318 >> BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT HER. >> YOU'RE MAKING STUFF UP, MAN. 507 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,689 THERE TO PROTECT HER. >> YOU'RE MAKING STUFF UP, MAN. >> AND I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU A 508 00:19:25,691 --> 00:19:29,193 >> YOU'RE MAKING STUFF UP, MAN. >> AND I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU A MAN CAN DEFEND THE ONES HE 509 00:19:29,195 --> 00:19:29,493 >> AND I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU A MAN CAN DEFEND THE ONES HE LOVES. 510 00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:32,363 MAN CAN DEFEND THE ONES HE LOVES. I WANT YOU TO PUNCH THIS WOMAN 511 00:19:32,365 --> 00:19:32,763 LOVES. I WANT YOU TO PUNCH THIS WOMAN RIGHT HERE. 512 00:19:32,765 --> 00:19:33,163 I WANT YOU TO PUNCH THIS WOMAN RIGHT HERE. >> NO WAY. 513 00:19:33,165 --> 00:19:33,831 RIGHT HERE. >> NO WAY. >> AND I WILL DEFLECT YOUR 514 00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:34,164 >> NO WAY. >> AND I WILL DEFLECT YOUR STRIKE. 515 00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:35,099 >> AND I WILL DEFLECT YOUR STRIKE. >> WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? 516 00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:36,166 STRIKE. >> WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? >> BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW YOU A 517 00:19:36,168 --> 00:19:36,867 >> WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? >> BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW YOU A REAL MAN DEFENDS THE WOMAN HE 518 00:19:36,869 --> 00:19:38,269 >> BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW YOU A REAL MAN DEFENDS THE WOMAN HE LOVES. 519 00:19:38,271 --> 00:19:39,003 REAL MAN DEFENDS THE WOMAN HE LOVES. >> BUT YOU'RE POSITIVE YOU WILL 520 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:39,403 LOVES. >> BUT YOU'RE POSITIVE YOU WILL BLOCK IT? 521 00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:40,471 >> BUT YOU'RE POSITIVE YOU WILL BLOCK IT? >> ABSOLUTELY. 522 00:19:40,473 --> 00:19:41,205 BLOCK IT? >> ABSOLUTELY. >> BECAUSE IF I HIT THIS WOMAN, 523 00:19:41,207 --> 00:19:44,875 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> BECAUSE IF I HIT THIS WOMAN, SHE WILL DIE. 524 00:19:44,877 --> 00:19:46,844 >> BECAUSE IF I HIT THIS WOMAN, SHE WILL DIE. >> PUNCH HER OR I'M GOING TO 525 00:19:46,846 --> 00:19:47,511 SHE WILL DIE. >> PUNCH HER OR I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU. 526 00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:48,178 >> PUNCH HER OR I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU. >> OKAY. 527 00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:50,080 PUNCH YOU. >> OKAY. YOU GOT IT. 528 00:19:50,082 --> 00:19:50,614 >> OKAY. YOU GOT IT. >> NICE TRY, BITCH. 529 00:19:50,616 --> 00:19:51,115 YOU GOT IT. >> NICE TRY, BITCH. >> OH, MY GOD. 530 00:19:51,117 --> 00:19:51,815 >> NICE TRY, BITCH. >> OH, MY GOD. >> BOOM, SHELLY, YOU DID THAT 531 00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:53,784 >> OH, MY GOD. >> BOOM, SHELLY, YOU DID THAT DAMN THING. 532 00:19:53,786 --> 00:19:54,485 >> BOOM, SHELLY, YOU DID THAT DAMN THING. >> DID A REVOLVER COME OUT OF 533 00:19:54,487 --> 00:19:54,885 DAMN THING. >> DID A REVOLVER COME OUT OF YOUR PANTS? 534 00:19:54,887 --> 00:19:56,487 >> DID A REVOLVER COME OUT OF YOUR PANTS? WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? 535 00:19:56,489 --> 00:19:57,121 YOUR PANTS? WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? >> BECAUSE I LIVE IN FEAR. 536 00:19:57,123 --> 00:19:57,821 WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? >> BECAUSE I LIVE IN FEAR. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M IN THIS 537 00:19:57,823 --> 00:19:59,189 >> BECAUSE I LIVE IN FEAR. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M IN THIS CLASS? 538 00:19:59,191 --> 00:20:01,225 WHY DO YOU THINK I'M IN THIS CLASS? >> GIVE ME THAT. 539 00:20:01,227 --> 00:20:04,128 CLASS? >> GIVE ME THAT. >> WHOA! 540 00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,262 >> GIVE ME THAT. >> WHOA! >> YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? 541 00:20:05,264 --> 00:20:07,298 >> WHOA! >> YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? >> WHAT? 542 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:12,670 >> YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? >> WHAT? RUSSIAN ROULETTE? 543 00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:14,305 >> WHAT? RUSSIAN ROULETTE? >> FEELING LUCKY, SLICK? 544 00:20:14,307 --> 00:20:18,976 RUSSIAN ROULETTE? >> FEELING LUCKY, SLICK? >> COME ON, DON'T DO IT! 545 00:20:18,978 --> 00:20:20,344 >> FEELING LUCKY, SLICK? >> COME ON, DON'T DO IT! >> AHH! 546 00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:20,911 >> COME ON, DON'T DO IT! >> AHH! >> ARE YOU OKAY? 547 00:20:20,913 --> 00:20:25,149 >> AHH! >> ARE YOU OKAY? OH, MY GOD. 548 00:20:25,151 --> 00:20:27,351 >> ARE YOU OKAY? OH, MY GOD. >> GREAT WORK, GUYS. 549 00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:27,985 OH, MY GOD. >> GREAT WORK, GUYS. YOU FINALLY STOOD UP FOR 550 00:20:27,987 --> 00:20:29,486 >> GREAT WORK, GUYS. YOU FINALLY STOOD UP FOR YOURSELVES. 551 00:20:29,488 --> 00:20:30,187 YOU FINALLY STOOD UP FOR YOURSELVES. >> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING 552 00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:32,156 YOURSELVES. >> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT? 553 00:20:32,158 --> 00:20:32,856 >> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> I THINK SOMEBODY OWES YOU 554 00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:34,858 ABOUT? >> I THINK SOMEBODY OWES YOU SOME COFFEES. 555 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:35,392 >> I THINK SOMEBODY OWES YOU SOME COFFEES. >> WHAT? 556 00:20:35,394 --> 00:20:36,994 SOME COFFEES. >> WHAT? THE INTERNS. 557 00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:40,097 >> WHAT? THE INTERNS. >> HEY, GUYS. 558 00:20:40,099 --> 00:20:43,400 THE INTERNS. >> HEY, GUYS. AFTER YOU SHOVED THAT OLD LADY 559 00:20:43,402 --> 00:20:46,270 >> HEY, GUYS. AFTER YOU SHOVED THAT OLD LADY INTO THE TROPHY CASE, I FINALLY 560 00:20:46,272 --> 00:20:46,670 AFTER YOU SHOVED THAT OLD LADY INTO THE TROPHY CASE, I FINALLY RESPECT YOU. 561 00:20:46,672 --> 00:20:48,973 INTO THE TROPHY CASE, I FINALLY RESPECT YOU. >> THANKS, GUYS. 562 00:20:48,975 --> 00:20:49,640 RESPECT YOU. >> THANKS, GUYS. >> AND HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. 563 00:20:49,642 --> 00:20:52,309 >> THANKS, GUYS. >> AND HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. >> AHH! 564 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,437 >>> I'M VERY HONORED TO BE HERE TODAY AS WE FINALLY REMEMBER MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND LOVER 565 00:21:20,439 --> 00:21:22,539 TODAY AS WE FINALLY REMEMBER MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND LOVER MS. GLENDA. 566 00:21:22,541 --> 00:21:23,640 MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND LOVER MS. GLENDA. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW 567 00:21:23,642 --> 00:21:27,378 MS. GLENDA. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME, MY NAME IS DYLAN. 568 00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:29,813 FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME, MY NAME IS DYLAN. I WAS GLENDA'S NURSE, AND WE HAD 569 00:21:29,815 --> 00:21:31,882 ME, MY NAME IS DYLAN. I WAS GLENDA'S NURSE, AND WE HAD AN INTIMATE LOVING RELATIONSHIP 570 00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:33,283 I WAS GLENDA'S NURSE, AND WE HAD AN INTIMATE LOVING RELATIONSHIP IN HER FINAL MONTHS. 571 00:21:33,285 --> 00:21:34,418 AN INTIMATE LOVING RELATIONSHIP IN HER FINAL MONTHS. >> WAIT. 572 00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:35,652 IN HER FINAL MONTHS. >> WAIT. MAMA STARTED DATING HIM? 573 00:21:35,654 --> 00:21:38,055 >> WAIT. MAMA STARTED DATING HIM? >> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, MAMA. 574 00:21:38,057 --> 00:21:39,690 MAMA STARTED DATING HIM? >> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, MAMA. THAT MAN IS FINE. 575 00:21:39,692 --> 00:21:41,792 >> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, MAMA. THAT MAN IS FINE. >> I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT GLENDA 576 00:21:41,794 --> 00:21:43,627 THAT MAN IS FINE. >> I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT GLENDA WAS TO YOU ALL, SO I ORGANIZED 577 00:21:43,629 --> 00:21:48,098 >> I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT GLENDA WAS TO YOU ALL, SO I ORGANIZED AND FUNDED THIS HOME GOING 578 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,533 WAS TO YOU ALL, SO I ORGANIZED AND FUNDED THIS HOME GOING SERVICE IN HER HONOR. 579 00:21:49,535 --> 00:21:51,969 AND FUNDED THIS HOME GOING SERVICE IN HER HONOR. IF YOU KNEW GLENDA, YOU KNEW SHE 580 00:21:51,971 --> 00:21:52,703 SERVICE IN HER HONOR. IF YOU KNEW GLENDA, YOU KNEW SHE WAS A FREE SPIRIT. 581 00:21:52,705 --> 00:21:54,505 IF YOU KNEW GLENDA, YOU KNEW SHE WAS A FREE SPIRIT. >> YEAH, WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT? 582 00:21:54,507 --> 00:21:56,740 WAS A FREE SPIRIT. >> YEAH, WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> SO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE 583 00:21:56,742 --> 00:21:57,441 >> YEAH, WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> SO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE LAID TO REST HOW WE ALL KNEW 584 00:21:57,443 --> 00:22:00,043 >> SO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE LAID TO REST HOW WE ALL KNEW HER. 585 00:22:00,045 --> 00:22:03,380 LAID TO REST HOW WE ALL KNEW HER. TA DA. 586 00:22:03,382 --> 00:22:06,984 HER. TA DA. >> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 587 00:22:06,986 --> 00:22:08,652 TA DA. >> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? >> THIS WHITE BOY GOT OUR DEAD 588 00:22:08,654 --> 00:22:10,053 >> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? >> THIS WHITE BOY GOT OUR DEAD MAMA SITTING UP! 589 00:22:10,055 --> 00:22:10,621 >> THIS WHITE BOY GOT OUR DEAD MAMA SITTING UP! >> 590 00:22:10,623 --> 00:22:12,022 MAMA SITTING UP! >> DO. 591 00:22:12,024 --> 00:22:15,859 >> DO. SHADES ON, WORLD OUT, PUFFING ON 592 00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:18,262 DO. SHADES ON, WORLD OUT, PUFFING ON A MENTHOL, THAT'S MY GLENDA. 593 00:22:18,264 --> 00:22:20,697 SHADES ON, WORLD OUT, PUFFING ON A MENTHOL, THAT'S MY GLENDA. >> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? 594 00:22:20,699 --> 00:22:22,666 A MENTHOL, THAT'S MY GLENDA. >> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? SHE LOOKS CRAZY. 595 00:22:22,668 --> 00:22:24,568 >> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? SHE LOOKS CRAZY. >> AT LEAST HE GOT HER IN A NICE 596 00:22:24,570 --> 00:22:24,902 SHE LOOKS CRAZY. >> AT LEAST HE GOT HER IN A NICE SHIRT. 597 00:22:24,904 --> 00:22:26,003 >> AT LEAST HE GOT HER IN A NICE SHIRT. >> THAT'S GLENDA. 598 00:22:26,005 --> 00:22:29,540 SHIRT. >> THAT'S GLENDA. LITTLE MAMA ALWAYS DOING. 599 00:22:29,542 --> 00:22:31,041 >> THAT'S GLENDA. LITTLE MAMA ALWAYS DOING. YOU KNOW IT HIT DIFFERENT WHEN 600 00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:34,178 LITTLE MAMA ALWAYS DOING. YOU KNOW IT HIT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY IN THE NIGHT GOWN. 601 00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:35,913 YOU KNOW IT HIT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY IN THE NIGHT GOWN. NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO OPEN THE 602 00:22:35,915 --> 00:22:37,981 THEY IN THE NIGHT GOWN. NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO OPEN THE FLOOR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO 603 00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:43,020 NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO OPEN THE FLOOR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO THEY CAN SHARE A FEWOR IN 604 00:22:43,022 --> 00:22:43,520 FLOOR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO THEY CAN SHARE A FEWOR IN GLENDA'S MEMORY. 605 00:22:43,522 --> 00:22:43,821 THEY CAN SHARE A FEWOR IN GLENDA'S MEMORY. >> HI. 606 00:22:43,823 --> 00:22:44,121 GLENDA'S MEMORY. >> HI. YEAH. 607 00:22:44,123 --> 00:22:46,690 >> HI. YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO 608 00:22:46,692 --> 00:22:51,995 YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO LET VANILLASAURUS REX OVER HERE 609 00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:53,864 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO LET VANILLASAURUS REX OVER HERE RUIN MY MAMA'S FUNERAL. 610 00:22:53,866 --> 00:22:56,066 LET VANILLASAURUS REX OVER HERE RUIN MY MAMA'S FUNERAL. SHE WAS A GOOD MAMA, TAUGHT ME 611 00:22:56,068 --> 00:22:56,567 RUIN MY MAMA'S FUNERAL. SHE WAS A GOOD MAMA, TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNEW. 612 00:22:56,569 --> 00:22:57,734 SHE WAS A GOOD MAMA, TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNEW. SHE WAS STRONG. 613 00:22:57,736 --> 00:23:01,638 EVERYTHING I KNEW. SHE WAS STRONG. STOP IT. 614 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,774 SHE WAS STRONG. STOP IT. SHE HAD A SMILE FOR EVERY 615 00:23:03,776 --> 00:23:05,909 STOP IT. SHE HAD A SMILE FOR EVERY STRANGER AND A STORY FOR EVERY 616 00:23:05,911 --> 00:23:06,276 SHE HAD A SMILE FOR EVERY STRANGER AND A STORY FOR EVERY OCCASION. 617 00:23:06,278 --> 00:23:08,278 STRANGER AND A STORY FOR EVERY OCCASION. I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE I CAN ALMOST 618 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,179 OCCASION. I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE I CAN ALMOST HEAR HER VOICE NOW. 619 00:23:09,181 --> 00:23:10,280 I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE I CAN ALMOST HEAR HER VOICE NOW. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. 620 00:23:10,282 --> 00:23:13,016 HEAR HER VOICE NOW. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR 621 00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:13,283 >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. 622 00:23:13,285 --> 00:23:14,151 YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. >> HOLD ON. 623 00:23:14,153 --> 00:23:15,819 OUT. >> HOLD ON. WHAT THE -- 624 00:23:15,821 --> 00:23:18,422 >> HOLD ON. WHAT THE -- >> DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN 625 00:23:18,424 --> 00:23:19,523 WHAT THE -- >> DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE PEOPLE. 626 00:23:19,525 --> 00:23:21,525 >> DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE PEOPLE. >> DOPE, RIGHT? 627 00:23:21,527 --> 00:23:23,494 FRONT OF THESE WHITE PEOPLE. >> DOPE, RIGHT? THEY RIGGED HER UP, PUT A 628 00:23:23,496 --> 00:23:24,528 >> DOPE, RIGHT? THEY RIGGED HER UP, PUT A SPEAKER IN HER. 629 00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:27,197 THEY RIGGED HER UP, PUT A SPEAKER IN HER. AND ALL OF HER FAVORITE SAYINGS 630 00:23:27,199 --> 00:23:27,698 SPEAKER IN HER. AND ALL OF HER FAVORITE SAYINGS ARE RIGHT THERE. 631 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,600 AND ALL OF HER FAVORITE SAYINGS ARE RIGHT THERE. >> JAY JAY ACTING STUCK UP 632 00:23:29,602 --> 00:23:32,402 ARE RIGHT THERE. >> JAY JAY ACTING STUCK UP BECAUSE HE GOT THAT SMALL-HEADED 633 00:23:32,404 --> 00:23:35,439 >> JAY JAY ACTING STUCK UP BECAUSE HE GOT THAT SMALL-HEADED WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM. 634 00:23:35,441 --> 00:23:35,739 BECAUSE HE GOT THAT SMALL-HEADED WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM. >> ME? 635 00:23:35,741 --> 00:23:36,807 WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM. >> ME? MY HEAD ISN'T SMALL. 636 00:23:36,809 --> 00:23:38,542 >> ME? MY HEAD ISN'T SMALL. >> WAIT, YOU PROGRAMMED HER TO 637 00:23:38,544 --> 00:23:43,180 MY HEAD ISN'T SMALL. >> WAIT, YOU PROGRAMMED HER TO >> CLOSE THAT DOOR, YOU LET -- 638 00:23:43,182 --> 00:23:44,615 >> WAIT, YOU PROGRAMMED HER TO >> CLOSE THAT DOOR, YOU LET -- LET -- LET -- LET. 639 00:23:44,617 --> 00:23:47,351 >> CLOSE THAT DOOR, YOU LET -- LET -- LET -- LET. >> OH, SHE'S STUCK. 640 00:23:47,353 --> 00:23:47,751 LET -- LET -- LET. >> OH, SHE'S STUCK. I GOT THIS. 641 00:23:47,753 --> 00:23:51,355 >> OH, SHE'S STUCK. I GOT THIS. >> LET -- LET -- LETTING ALL THE 642 00:23:51,357 --> 00:23:52,289 I GOT THIS. >> LET -- LET -- LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. 643 00:23:52,291 --> 00:23:53,690 >> LET -- LET -- LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. >> HEY, MAN. 644 00:23:53,692 --> 00:24:00,163 GOOD AIR OUT. >> HEY, MAN. YOU JUST BLOW OUT MY MAMA'S HEAD 645 00:24:00,165 --> 00:24:00,764 >> HEY, MAN. YOU JUST BLOW OUT MY MAMA'S HEAD LIKE SHE WAS A NINTENDO 646 00:24:00,766 --> 00:24:01,131 YOU JUST BLOW OUT MY MAMA'S HEAD LIKE SHE WAS A NINTENDO CARTRIDGE? 647 00:24:01,133 --> 00:24:02,099 LIKE SHE WAS A NINTENDO CARTRIDGE? >> LET'S MOVE ON. 648 00:24:02,101 --> 00:24:03,534 CARTRIDGE? >> LET'S MOVE ON. GLENDA DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE A 649 00:24:03,536 --> 00:24:04,535 >> LET'S MOVE ON. GLENDA DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE A SAD SERVICE. 650 00:24:04,537 --> 00:24:05,269 GLENDA DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE A SAD SERVICE. D.J. ROSCOE, HIT IT. 651 00:24:05,271 --> 00:24:12,009 SAD SERVICE. D.J. ROSCOE, HIT IT. ♪ 652 00:24:12,011 --> 00:24:15,512 D.J. ROSCOE, HIT IT. ♪ GO AHEAD, MS. GLENDA, WITH YOUR 653 00:24:15,514 --> 00:24:15,946 ♪ GO AHEAD, MS. GLENDA, WITH YOUR BAD SELF. 654 00:24:15,948 --> 00:24:18,382 GO AHEAD, MS. GLENDA, WITH YOUR BAD SELF. >> YOU PUT HYDRAULICS ON MY 655 00:24:18,384 --> 00:24:18,715 BAD SELF. >> YOU PUT HYDRAULICS ON MY GRANDMA? 656 00:24:18,717 --> 00:24:20,384 >> YOU PUT HYDRAULICS ON MY GRANDMA? >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH 657 00:24:20,386 --> 00:24:20,651 GRANDMA? >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 658 00:24:20,653 --> 00:24:23,921 >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? >> HEY, I SPENT $30,000 ON THIS, 659 00:24:23,923 --> 00:24:24,655 YOU? >> HEY, I SPENT $30,000 ON THIS, AND THAT'S EVERY PENNY THAT SHE 660 00:24:24,657 --> 00:24:26,623 >> HEY, I SPENT $30,000 ON THIS, AND THAT'S EVERY PENNY THAT SHE HAD. 661 00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:31,194 AND THAT'S EVERY PENNY THAT SHE HAD. AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SPEND IT 662 00:24:31,196 --> 00:24:31,862 HAD. AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SPEND IT IN VAIN. 663 00:24:31,864 --> 00:24:33,797 AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SPEND IT IN VAIN. Y'ALL ARE GOING TO SIT BACK AND 664 00:24:33,799 --> 00:24:39,970 IN VAIN. Y'ALL ARE GOING TO SIT BACK AND WATCH YOUR MAMA GO TO HEAVEN. 665 00:24:39,972 --> 00:24:41,405 Y'ALL ARE GOING TO SIT BACK AND WATCH YOUR MAMA GO TO HEAVEN. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. 666 00:24:41,407 --> 00:24:42,105 WATCH YOUR MAMA GO TO HEAVEN. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR 667 00:24:42,107 --> 00:24:49,513 >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. 668 00:24:49,515 --> 00:24:54,818 YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. >> CHEERED! 669 00:24:54,820 --> 00:24:55,552 OUT. >> CHEERED! LIKE MOST GAY MEN, I HAVE A LOT 670 00:24:55,554 --> 00:24:56,286 >> CHEERED! LIKE MOST GAY MEN, I HAVE A LOT OF STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIENDS, AND 671 00:24:56,288 --> 00:24:57,020 LIKE MOST GAY MEN, I HAVE A LOT OF STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIENDS, AND I LOVE MY GIRLIES, BUT THEY CAN 672 00:24:57,022 --> 00:24:57,688 OF STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIENDS, AND I LOVE MY GIRLIES, BUT THEY CAN BE A LOT, BOTH FINANCIALLY. 673 00:24:57,690 --> 00:24:58,422 I LOVE MY GIRLIES, BUT THEY CAN BE A LOT, BOTH FINANCIALLY. >> WAIT, CARSON, YOU'RE COMING 674 00:24:58,424 --> 00:24:58,889 BE A LOT, BOTH FINANCIALLY. >> WAIT, CARSON, YOU'RE COMING TO TULUM, RIGHT? 675 00:24:58,891 --> 00:24:59,623 >> WAIT, CARSON, YOU'RE COMING TO TULUM, RIGHT? >> YOU KNOW IT, SIS. 676 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:01,825 TO TULUM, RIGHT? >> YOU KNOW IT, SIS. AND EMOTIONALLY. 677 00:25:01,827 --> 00:25:03,393 >> YOU KNOW IT, SIS. AND EMOTIONALLY. >> TULUM IS WHERE DYLAN AND I 678 00:25:03,395 --> 00:25:04,094 AND EMOTIONALLY. >> TULUM IS WHERE DYLAN AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE WE 679 00:25:04,096 --> 00:25:06,096 >> TULUM IS WHERE DYLAN AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE WE BROKE UP. 680 00:25:06,098 --> 00:25:07,731 WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE WE BROKE UP. >> I'M SO SORRY, BABE. 681 00:25:07,733 --> 00:25:09,866 BROKE UP. >> I'M SO SORRY, BABE. AS MUCH AS THESE GIRLS MEAN TO 682 00:25:09,868 --> 00:25:11,501 >> I'M SO SORRY, BABE. AS MUCH AS THESE GIRLS MEAN TO ME, SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK. 683 00:25:11,503 --> 00:25:13,103 AS MUCH AS THESE GIRLS MEAN TO ME, SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK. THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED, 684 00:25:13,105 --> 00:25:14,705 ME, SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK. THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED, STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. 685 00:25:14,707 --> 00:25:16,873 THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED, STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> WHAT'S UP? 686 00:25:16,875 --> 00:25:17,541 STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> WHAT'S UP? YO, WATCH ME HEAD CHOP THIS 687 00:25:17,543 --> 00:25:20,077 >> WHAT'S UP? YO, WATCH ME HEAD CHOP THIS BITCH. 688 00:25:20,079 --> 00:25:21,712 YO, WATCH ME HEAD CHOP THIS BITCH. BOOM TO THE DOOM. 689 00:25:21,714 --> 00:25:23,914 BITCH. BOOM TO THE DOOM. >> AMAZING. 690 00:25:23,916 --> 00:25:25,482 BOOM TO THE DOOM. >> AMAZING. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS A 691 00:25:25,484 --> 00:25:26,550 >> AMAZING. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS A LOW-EFFORT, LOW-STAKES 692 00:25:26,552 --> 00:25:28,719 STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS A LOW-EFFORT, LOW-STAKES RELATIONSHIP THAT REQUIRES NO 693 00:25:28,721 --> 00:25:30,287 LOW-EFFORT, LOW-STAKES RELATIONSHIP THAT REQUIRES NO EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, NO 694 00:25:30,289 --> 00:25:31,388 RELATIONSHIP THAT REQUIRES NO EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, NO FINANCIAL INVESTMENT, AND OTHER 695 00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:32,990 EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, NO FINANCIAL INVESTMENT, AND OTHER THAN THE OCCASIONAL VIDEO GAME 696 00:25:32,992 --> 00:25:34,558 FINANCIAL INVESTMENT, AND OTHER THAN THE OCCASIONAL VIDEO GAME OUTBURST -- 697 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,659 THAN THE OCCASIONAL VIDEO GAME OUTBURST -- >> THIS GAME'S STUPID! 698 00:25:35,661 --> 00:25:42,165 OUTBURST -- >> THIS GAME'S STUPID! >> -- NO DRAMA. 699 00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:46,370 >> THIS GAME'S STUPID! >> -- NO DRAMA. >> YO, YOU WANT TO GO GET WINGS? 700 00:25:46,372 --> 00:25:50,107 >> -- NO DRAMA. >> YO, YOU WANT TO GO GET WINGS? >> IF I DIDN'T CHECK IN WITH MY 701 00:25:50,109 --> 00:25:50,374 >> YO, YOU WANT TO GO GET WINGS? >> IF I DIDN'T CHECK IN WITH MY GAL 702 00:25:50,376 --> 00:25:51,108 >> IF I DIDN'T CHECK IN WITH MY GAL PALS EVERY DAY OR TWO, IT WOULD 703 00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:51,675 GAL PALS EVERY DAY OR TWO, IT WOULD BECOME A WHOLE THING. 704 00:25:51,677 --> 00:25:52,409 PALS EVERY DAY OR TWO, IT WOULD BECOME A WHOLE THING. HANG OUT AS LITTLE OR AS MUCH AS 705 00:25:52,411 --> 00:25:52,776 BECOME A WHOLE THING. HANG OUT AS LITTLE OR AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. 706 00:25:52,778 --> 00:25:53,510 HANG OUT AS LITTLE OR AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. IT WON'T AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP 707 00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:53,844 YOU WANT. IT WON'T AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP AT ALL. 708 00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:54,277 IT WON'T AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP AT ALL. WATCH THIS. 709 00:25:54,279 --> 00:25:55,345 AT ALL. WATCH THIS. HEY, I MIGHT BE MOVING TO EUROPE 710 00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:55,879 WATCH THIS. HEY, I MIGHT BE MOVING TO EUROPE FOR SEVEN YEARS. 711 00:25:55,881 --> 00:25:56,947 HEY, I MIGHT BE MOVING TO EUROPE FOR SEVEN YEARS. >> DOPE. 712 00:25:56,949 --> 00:26:03,920 FOR SEVEN YEARS. >> DOPE. JUST HIT ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK. 713 00:26:03,922 --> 00:26:04,621 >> DOPE. JUST HIT ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS EASY, 714 00:26:04,623 --> 00:26:05,355 JUST HIT ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS EASY, AND EVEN IF HE'S HAVING A TOUGH 715 00:26:05,357 --> 00:26:06,056 STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS EASY, AND EVEN IF HE'S HAVING A TOUGH TIME EMOTIONALLY, HE'LL NEVER 716 00:26:06,058 --> 00:26:06,556 AND EVEN IF HE'S HAVING A TOUGH TIME EMOTIONALLY, HE'LL NEVER BRING ME INTO IT. 717 00:26:06,558 --> 00:26:06,923 TIME EMOTIONALLY, HE'LL NEVER BRING ME INTO IT. YOU OKAY? 718 00:26:06,925 --> 00:26:08,859 BRING ME INTO IT. YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET. 719 00:26:08,861 --> 00:26:10,961 YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET. >> MAN, MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK. 720 00:26:10,963 --> 00:26:15,265 YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET. >> MAN, MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK. >> OH. 721 00:26:15,267 --> 00:26:16,333 >> MAN, MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK. >> OH. >> BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT. 722 00:26:16,335 --> 00:26:22,572 >> OH. >> BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW? 723 00:26:22,574 --> 00:26:23,807 >> BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW? >> YOU WANT TO GET SOME WINGS? 724 00:26:23,809 --> 00:26:24,207 YOU KNOW? >> YOU WANT TO GET SOME WINGS? >> YEAH. 725 00:26:24,209 --> 00:26:24,875 >> YOU WANT TO GET SOME WINGS? >> YEAH. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND ISN'T 726 00:26:24,877 --> 00:26:25,509 >> YEAH. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND ISN'T PERFECT AND MAY ASK BLUNT 727 00:26:25,511 --> 00:26:26,843 STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND ISN'T PERFECT AND MAY ASK BLUNT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE. 728 00:26:26,845 --> 00:26:27,544 PERFECT AND MAY ASK BLUNT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE. >> SO DO GAY GUYS LIKE WHEN A 729 00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:29,546 QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE. >> SO DO GAY GUYS LIKE WHEN A GUY HAS A BIG ONE, OR IS IT A 730 00:26:29,548 --> 00:26:31,148 >> SO DO GAY GUYS LIKE WHEN A GUY HAS A BIG ONE, OR IS IT A BAD THING? 731 00:26:31,150 --> 00:26:32,816 GUY HAS A BIG ONE, OR IS IT A BAD THING? >> DEPENDS ON THE GUY. 732 00:26:32,818 --> 00:26:37,187 BAD THING? >> DEPENDS ON THE GUY. BUT HE'S ONLY ASKING BECAUSE 733 00:26:37,189 --> 00:26:39,456 >> DEPENDS ON THE GUY. BUT HE'S ONLY ASKING BECAUSE HE'S HONESTLY CURIOUS, AND 734 00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,190 BUT HE'S ONLY ASKING BECAUSE HE'S HONESTLY CURIOUS, AND THERE'S SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT 735 00:26:40,192 --> 00:26:40,490 HE'S HONESTLY CURIOUS, AND THERE'S SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT THAT. 736 00:26:40,492 --> 00:26:41,124 THERE'S SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT THAT. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND 737 00:26:41,126 --> 00:26:42,292 THAT. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND PROVIDE THE SAME DEEP 738 00:26:42,294 --> 00:26:42,959 DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND PROVIDE THE SAME DEEP RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY 739 00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:43,360 PROVIDE THE SAME DEEP RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY GIRLS? 740 00:26:43,362 --> 00:26:44,461 RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY GIRLS? NO. 741 00:26:44,463 --> 00:26:45,195 GIRLS? NO. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND KNOW 742 00:26:45,197 --> 00:26:45,629 NO. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND KNOW MY LAST NAME? 743 00:26:45,631 --> 00:26:46,563 DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND KNOW MY LAST NAME? NO. 744 00:26:46,565 --> 00:26:50,033 MY LAST NAME? NO. THAT'S KIND OF THE BEAUTY OF 745 00:26:50,035 --> 00:26:50,300 NO. THAT'S KIND OF THE BEAUTY OF IT. 746 00:26:50,302 --> 00:26:51,034 THAT'S KIND OF THE BEAUTY OF IT. BUT IF YOU ARE MISSING A LITTLE 747 00:26:51,036 --> 00:26:51,601 IT. BUT IF YOU ARE MISSING A LITTLE DRAMA, JUST SAY THIS. 748 00:26:51,603 --> 00:26:55,405 BUT IF YOU ARE MISSING A LITTLE DRAMA, JUST SAY THIS. I BET I'M FASTER THAN YOU. 749 00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:57,007 DRAMA, JUST SAY THIS. I BET I'M FASTER THAN YOU. >> DOG, BRO, FOR REAL? 750 00:26:57,009 --> 00:26:59,142 I BET I'M FASTER THAN YOU. >> DOG, BRO, FOR REAL? YOU THINK YOU'RE FASTER THAN ME? 751 00:26:59,144 --> 00:27:00,744 >> DOG, BRO, FOR REAL? YOU THINK YOU'RE FASTER THAN ME? I WILL GO OUTSIDE ON THE STREET 752 00:27:00,746 --> 00:27:02,345 YOU THINK YOU'RE FASTER THAN ME? I WILL GO OUTSIDE ON THE STREET AND DUST YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW. 753 00:27:02,347 --> 00:27:02,879 I WILL GO OUTSIDE ON THE STREET AND DUST YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW. LET'S GO. 754 00:27:02,881 --> 00:27:05,582 AND DUST YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW. LET'S GO. COME ON. 755 00:27:05,584 --> 00:27:10,120 LET'S GO. COME ON. >> SO IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO 756 00:27:10,122 --> 00:27:13,190 COME ON. >> SO IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO NEEDS A BREAK, COME ENJOY THE 757 00:27:13,192 --> 00:27:13,890 >> SO IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO NEEDS A BREAK, COME ENJOY THE CASUAL RELATIONSHIP GAY WOMEN 758 00:27:13,892 --> 00:27:17,928 NEEDS A BREAK, COME ENJOY THE CASUAL RELATIONSHIP GAY WOMEN HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS. 759 00:27:17,930 --> 00:27:18,495 CASUAL RELATIONSHIP GAY WOMEN HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. 760 00:27:18,497 --> 00:27:19,229 HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> SORRY FOR BEING A PUSSY ABOUT 761 00:27:19,231 --> 00:27:19,796 STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> SORRY FOR BEING A PUSSY ABOUT MY DAD DYING EARLIER. 762 00:27:19,798 --> 00:27:20,397 >> SORRY FOR BEING A PUSSY ABOUT MY DAD DYING EARLIER. THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. 763 00:27:20,399 --> 00:27:21,031 MY DAD DYING EARLIER. THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. >> STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND, 764 00:27:21,033 --> 00:27:22,799 THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. >> STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND, AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE. 765 00:27:22,801 --> 00:27:31,041 >> STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND, AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE. EXCEPT THERAPY. 766 00:27:31,043 --> 00:27:31,575 AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE. EXCEPT THERAPY. >>> OKAY. 767 00:27:31,577 --> 00:27:33,243 EXCEPT THERAPY. >>> OKAY. THAT MOVIE WAS WILD. 768 00:27:33,245 --> 00:27:34,311 >>> OKAY. THAT MOVIE WAS WILD. >> YEAH, "PADDINGTON 3" WAS NOT 769 00:27:34,313 --> 00:27:35,946 THAT MOVIE WAS WILD. >> YEAH, "PADDINGTON 3" WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. 770 00:27:35,948 --> 00:27:38,081 >> YEAH, "PADDINGTON 3" WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. >> THAT WAS "COCAINE BEAR." 771 00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:38,682 WHAT I EXPECTED. >> THAT WAS "COCAINE BEAR." >> OKAY. 772 00:27:38,684 --> 00:27:39,282 >> THAT WAS "COCAINE BEAR." >> OKAY. I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT 773 00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:41,852 >> OKAY. I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT PADDINGTON. 774 00:27:41,854 --> 00:27:44,554 I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT PADDINGTON. >> SHOOT, ABBY, GRAHAM IS HERE. 775 00:27:44,556 --> 00:27:46,690 PADDINGTON. >> SHOOT, ABBY, GRAHAM IS HERE. >> ABBY, WE CAN TOTALLY LEAVE. 776 00:27:46,692 --> 00:27:48,825 >> SHOOT, ABBY, GRAHAM IS HERE. >> ABBY, WE CAN TOTALLY LEAVE. >> LOOK, Y'ALL, IT'S BEEN THREE 777 00:27:48,827 --> 00:27:52,262 >> ABBY, WE CAN TOTALLY LEAVE. >> LOOK, Y'ALL, IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS, I CAN BE AROUND MY EX. 778 00:27:52,264 --> 00:27:55,599 >> LOOK, Y'ALL, IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS, I CAN BE AROUND MY EX. M TOTALLY COOL. 779 00:27:55,601 --> 00:27:56,099 YEARS, I CAN BE AROUND MY EX. M TOTALLY COOL. HEY, STRANGER. 780 00:27:56,101 --> 00:27:58,235 M TOTALLY COOL. HEY, STRANGER. HOW ARE YOU, BUBBA? 781 00:27:58,237 --> 00:27:59,870 HEY, STRANGER. HOW ARE YOU, BUBBA? >> WHOA, ABBY, IS BEEN A 782 00:27:59,872 --> 00:28:00,403 HOW ARE YOU, BUBBA? >> WHOA, ABBY, IS BEEN A MINUTE. 783 00:28:00,405 --> 00:28:02,539 >> WHOA, ABBY, IS BEEN A MINUTE. WHAT'S NEW? 784 00:28:02,541 --> 00:28:04,141 MINUTE. WHAT'S NEW? >> I'M ACTUALLY IN THE BEST 785 00:28:04,143 --> 00:28:08,545 WHAT'S NEW? >> I'M ACTUALLY IN THE BEST PLACE I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG 786 00:28:08,547 --> 00:28:08,845 >> I'M ACTUALLY IN THE BEST PLACE I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG TIME. 787 00:28:08,847 --> 00:28:10,547 PLACE I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG TIME. I'M WITH SOMEONE NEW, AND LIFE 788 00:28:10,549 --> 00:28:11,548 TIME. I'M WITH SOMEONE NEW, AND LIFE IS PRETTY RAD. 789 00:28:11,550 --> 00:28:12,749 I'M WITH SOMEONE NEW, AND LIFE IS PRETTY RAD. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? 790 00:28:12,751 --> 00:28:14,551 IS PRETTY RAD. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU LOOK LIKE HELL. 791 00:28:14,553 --> 00:28:15,619 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU LOOK LIKE HELL. JUST KIDDING. 792 00:28:15,621 --> 00:28:16,753 YOU LOOK LIKE HELL. JUST KIDDING. YOU LOOK AWESOME. 793 00:28:16,755 --> 00:28:18,822 JUST KIDDING. YOU LOOK AWESOME. >> OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN GOOD. 794 00:28:18,824 --> 00:28:19,890 YOU LOOK AWESOME. >> OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN GOOD. WORKING OUT A LOT. 795 00:28:19,892 --> 00:28:23,660 >> OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN GOOD. WORKING OUT A LOT. OH, AND THANKS FOR PAYING ME 796 00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:25,061 WORKING OUT A LOT. OH, AND THANKS FOR PAYING ME BACK ABOUT MY CAR GETTING FIXED. 797 00:28:25,063 --> 00:28:25,529 OH, AND THANKS FOR PAYING ME BACK ABOUT MY CAR GETTING FIXED. >> YEAH. 798 00:28:25,531 --> 00:28:26,663 BACK ABOUT MY CAR GETTING FIXED. >> YEAH. SORRY I THREW THAT KETTLE BELL 799 00:28:26,665 --> 00:28:28,799 >> YEAH. SORRY I THREW THAT KETTLE BELL THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD. 800 00:28:28,801 --> 00:28:29,900 SORRY I THREW THAT KETTLE BELL THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD. I HAD A LOT TO PROCESS, BUT NOW 801 00:28:29,902 --> 00:28:35,172 THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD. I HAD A LOT TO PROCESS, BUT NOW I CAN LOOK AT YOU WITH NO 802 00:28:35,174 --> 00:28:36,840 I HAD A LOT TO PROCESS, BUT NOW I CAN LOOK AT YOU WITH NO ATTACHMENT, AND I THINK THAT'S 803 00:28:36,842 --> 00:28:38,208 I CAN LOOK AT YOU WITH NO ATTACHMENT, AND I THINK THAT'S PRETTY FREAKING RAD. 804 00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:38,675 ATTACHMENT, AND I THINK THAT'S PRETTY FREAKING RAD. >> SORRY, BABE. 805 00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:39,376 PRETTY FREAKING RAD. >> SORRY, BABE. THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM WAS 806 00:28:39,378 --> 00:28:40,277 >> SORRY, BABE. THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM WAS CRAZ 807 00:28:40,279 --> 00:28:42,412 THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM WAS CRAZ >> HI, BABE. 808 00:28:42,414 --> 00:28:42,946 CRAZ >> HI, BABE. THIS IS MADISON. 809 00:28:42,948 --> 00:28:48,451 >> HI, BABE. THIS IS MADISON. >> OH, YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER. 810 00:28:48,453 --> 00:28:48,819 THIS IS MADISON. >> OH, YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER. CONGRATS. 811 00:28:48,821 --> 00:28:50,954 >> OH, YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER. CONGRATS. YOU GOT YOURSELF A STUNNING 812 00:28:50,956 --> 00:28:51,354 CONGRATS. YOU GOT YOURSELF A STUNNING GIRLFRIEND. 813 00:28:51,356 --> 00:28:53,390 YOU GOT YOURSELF A STUNNING GIRLFRIEND. >> THIS IS MY FIANCE. 814 00:28:53,392 --> 00:28:53,790 GIRLFRIEND. >> THIS IS MY FIANCE. >> YOUR -- 815 00:28:53,792 --> 00:28:55,992 >> THIS IS MY FIANCE. >> YOUR -- >> ABBY, ARE YOU CRYING? 816 00:28:55,994 --> 00:28:56,626 >> YOUR -- >> ABBY, ARE YOU CRYING? >> NO. 817 00:28:56,628 --> 00:28:58,361 >> ABBY, ARE YOU CRYING? >> NO. REMEMBER I JUST HAD THAT THING 818 00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:00,931 >> NO. REMEMBER I JUST HAD THAT THING WITH MY EYES WHERE I HAVE TO 819 00:29:00,933 --> 00:29:01,364 REMEMBER I JUST HAD THAT THING WITH MY EYES WHERE I HAVE TO POKE AT THEM. 820 00:29:01,366 --> 00:29:01,798 WITH MY EYES WHERE I HAVE TO POKE AT THEM. >> I DON'T. 821 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,966 POKE AT THEM. >> I DON'T. BUT IF YOU SAY SO. 822 00:29:02,968 --> 00:29:04,568 >> I DON'T. BUT IF YOU SAY SO. >> YEAH, YEAH. 823 00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:07,537 BUT IF YOU SAY SO. >> YEAH, YEAH. SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? 824 00:29:07,539 --> 00:29:09,239 >> YEAH, YEAH. SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? >> WE MET ON A LITTLE CRUISE. 825 00:29:09,241 --> 00:29:12,442 SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? >> WE MET ON A LITTLE CRUISE. >> WELL, IT WASN'T A CRUISE FOR 826 00:29:12,444 --> 00:29:13,476 >> WE MET ON A LITTLE CRUISE. >> WELL, IT WASN'T A CRUISE FOR ME. 827 00:29:13,478 --> 00:29:17,180 >> WELL, IT WASN'T A CRUISE FOR ME. I'M A BOSUN ON BELOW DECK. 828 00:29:17,182 --> 00:29:18,849 ME. I'M A BOSUN ON BELOW DECK. >> THAT'S MY DREAM JOB. 829 00:29:18,851 --> 00:29:20,250 I'M A BOSUN ON BELOW DECK. >> THAT'S MY DREAM JOB. >> ABBY, ARE YOU OKAY? 830 00:29:20,252 --> 00:29:22,219 >> THAT'S MY DREAM JOB. >> ABBY, ARE YOU OKAY? >> IT'S THE EYE THING AGAIN. 831 00:29:22,221 --> 00:29:23,153 >> ABBY, ARE YOU OKAY? >> IT'S THE EYE THING AGAIN. I'M FINE. 832 00:29:23,155 --> 00:29:24,821 >> IT'S THE EYE THING AGAIN. I'M FINE. I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO HOLD THEM. 833 00:29:24,823 --> 00:29:27,057 I'M FINE. I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO HOLD THEM. YOU GUYS CAN KISS IF YOU WANT. 834 00:29:27,059 --> 00:29:29,492 I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO HOLD THEM. YOU GUYS CAN KISS IF YOU WANT. I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. 835 00:29:29,494 --> 00:29:31,228 YOU GUYS CAN KISS IF YOU WANT. I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. >> WE'RE REALLY NOT TRYING TO 836 00:29:31,230 --> 00:29:33,630 I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. >> WE'RE REALLY NOT TRYING TO KISS AT THIS MOMENT. 837 00:29:33,632 --> 00:29:38,602 >> WE'RE REALLY NOT TRYING TO KISS AT THIS MOMENT. >> SO HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH 838 00:29:38,604 --> 00:29:38,902 KISS AT THIS MOMENT. >> SO HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? 839 00:29:38,904 --> 00:29:39,603 >> SO HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? H, GOD, GIRL, HOW LONG DO 840 00:29:39,605 --> 00:29:39,970 OTHER? H, GOD, GIRL, HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE? 841 00:29:39,972 --> 00:29:40,704 H, GOD, GIRL, HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE? >> ABBY AND I WENT ON ONE DATE 842 00:29:40,706 --> 00:29:41,304 YOU HAVE? >> ABBY AND I WENT ON ONE DATE IN 2019. 843 00:29:41,306 --> 00:29:41,872 >> ABBY AND I WENT ON ONE DATE IN 2019. >> OKAY. 844 00:29:41,874 --> 00:29:42,472 IN 2019. >> OKAY. WE WENT ON THREE DATES. 845 00:29:42,474 --> 00:29:43,139 >> OKAY. WE WENT ON THREE DATES. DINNER, MOVIE, AND A 846 00:29:43,141 --> 00:29:44,574 WE WENT ON THREE DATES. DINNER, MOVIE, AND A WALK. 847 00:29:44,576 --> 00:29:46,176 DINNER, MOVIE, AND A WALK. >> THE WALK WAS FROM DINNER TO 848 00:29:46,178 --> 00:29:49,512 WALK. >> THE WALK WAS FROM DINNER TO THE MOVIE, AND THE WHOLE THING 849 00:29:49,514 --> 00:29:50,347 >> THE WALK WAS FROM DINNER TO THE MOVIE, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS LIKE TWO HOURS. 850 00:29:50,349 --> 00:29:51,314 THE MOVIE, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS LIKE TWO HOURS. >> IRREGARDLESS, GRAHAM AND I 851 00:29:51,316 --> 00:29:52,015 WAS LIKE TWO HOURS. >> IRREGARDLESS, GRAHAM AND I HAVE HISTORY, BUT NOW I THINK 852 00:29:52,017 --> 00:29:55,719 >> IRREGARDLESS, GRAHAM AND I HAVE HISTORY, BUT NOW I THINK WE'RE KILLING THIS FRIENDS 853 00:29:55,721 --> 00:29:56,953 HAVE HISTORY, BUT NOW I THINK WE'RE KILLING THIS FRIENDS THING, BUBBA. 854 00:29:56,955 --> 00:29:57,687 WE'RE KILLING THIS FRIENDS THING, BUBBA. >> WE'RE MOVING NEXT MONTH, BUT 855 00:29:57,689 --> 00:29:58,421 THING, BUBBA. >> WE'RE MOVING NEXT MONTH, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO COME VISIT US IF 856 00:29:58,423 --> 00:29:59,089 >> WE'RE MOVING NEXT MONTH, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO COME VISIT US IF YOU'RE EVER IN NEW ORLEANS. 857 00:29:59,091 --> 00:30:03,426 YOU'LL HAVE TO COME VISIT US IF YOU'RE EVER IN NEW ORLEANS. >> WHERE THE SAINTS GO MARCHING 858 00:30:03,428 --> 00:30:06,663 YOU'RE EVER IN NEW ORLEANS. >> WHERE THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN? 859 00:30:06,665 --> 00:30:09,966 >> WHERE THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN? >> OH, MY GOD, ABBY, DO YOU NEED 860 00:30:09,968 --> 00:30:10,333 IN? >> OH, MY GOD, ABBY, DO YOU NEED A TISSUE? 861 00:30:10,335 --> 00:30:10,634 >> OH, MY GOD, ABBY, DO YOU NEED A TISSUE? >> NO. 862 00:30:10,636 --> 00:30:13,770 A TISSUE? >> NO. BECAUSE THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS. 863 00:30:13,772 --> 00:30:15,906 >> NO. BECAUSE THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS. >> WELL, THANKS. 864 00:30:15,908 --> 00:30:16,973 BECAUSE THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS. >> WELL, THANKS. WE'RE REALLY HAPPY TOO. 865 00:30:16,975 --> 00:30:17,707 >> WELL, THANKS. WE'RE REALLY HAPPY TOO. IT FEELS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO 866 00:30:17,709 --> 00:30:19,643 WE'RE REALLY HAPPY TOO. IT FEELS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO RAISE A KID. 867 00:30:19,645 --> 00:30:21,244 IT FEELS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO RAISE A KID. >> YOU'RE PREGNANT? 868 00:30:21,246 --> 00:30:24,447 RAISE A KID. >> YOU'RE PREGNANT? YES! 869 00:30:24,449 --> 00:30:25,515 >> YOU'RE PREGNANT? YES! >> WE'RE DUE IN AUGUST, BUT 870 00:30:25,517 --> 00:30:26,182 YES! >> WE'RE DUE IN AUGUST, BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT 871 00:30:26,184 --> 00:30:27,250 >> WE'RE DUE IN AUGUST, BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? 872 00:30:27,252 --> 00:30:28,852 MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD. 873 00:30:28,854 --> 00:30:29,953 SOMETHING ELSE? I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD. >> YOU SHOULDN'T. 874 00:30:29,955 --> 00:30:34,291 I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD. >> YOU SHOULDN'T. IT WAS ONE DATE. 875 00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:35,458 >> YOU SHOULDN'T. IT WAS ONE DATE. >> OKAY. 876 00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:35,759 IT WAS ONE DATE. >> OKAY. LOOK. 877 00:30:35,761 --> 00:30:37,160 >> OKAY. LOOK. NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW, 878 00:30:37,162 --> 00:30:39,496 LOOK. NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW, BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I'M IN A 879 00:30:39,498 --> 00:30:41,898 NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW, BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S SO GOOD. 880 00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:43,500 BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S SO GOOD. HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER, AND 881 00:30:43,502 --> 00:30:44,501 RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S SO GOOD. HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER, AND HE'S TOTALLY RIPPED. 882 00:30:44,503 --> 00:30:45,702 HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER, AND HE'S TOTALLY RIPPED. >> ABBY, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU. 883 00:30:45,704 --> 00:30:57,380 HE'S TOTALLY RIPPED. >> ABBY, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU. I'M HAPPY. 884 00:30:57,382 --> 00:30:59,549 >> ABBY, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU. I'M HAPPY. >> HEY, BUBBA. 885 00:30:59,551 --> 00:31:00,984 I'M HAPPY. >> HEY, BUBBA. SORRY I'M LATE. 886 00:31:00,986 --> 00:31:03,186 >> HEY, BUBBA. SORRY I'M LATE. IS THIS GUY BOTHERING YOU? 887 00:31:03,188 --> 00:31:05,188 SORRY I'M LATE. IS THIS GUY BOTHERING YOU? DO YOU NEED ME TO BEAT HIM UP? 888 00:31:05,190 --> 00:31:07,891 IS THIS GUY BOTHERING YOU? DO YOU NEED ME TO BEAT HIM UP? BECAUSE I DEFINITELY COULD. 889 00:31:07,893 --> 00:31:08,325 DO YOU NEED ME TO BEAT HIM UP? BECAUSE I DEFINITELY COULD. >> WAIT. 890 00:31:08,327 --> 00:31:10,927 BECAUSE I DEFINITELY COULD. >> WAIT. THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? 891 00:31:10,929 --> 00:31:14,431 >> WAIT. THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? IT'S TOTALLY COOL. 892 00:31:14,433 --> 00:31:15,632 THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? IT'S TOTALLY COOL. OH, MY GOD. 893 00:31:15,634 --> 00:31:16,299 IT'S TOTALLY COOL. OH, MY GOD. IT'S TOTALLY COOL. 894 00:31:16,301 --> 00:31:22,238 OH, MY GOD. IT'S TOTALLY COOL. OH, MY GOD. 895 00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:57,374 >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KELSEA BALLERINI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 896 00:31:57,376 --> 00:31:59,542 BALLERINI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ WERE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE 897 00:31:59,544 --> 00:32:01,111 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ WERE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE OR DRIVING IN YOUR CAR 898 00:32:01,113 --> 00:32:02,712 ♪ WERE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE OR DRIVING IN YOUR CAR WERE YOU HIDING UPSTAIRS 899 00:32:02,714 --> 00:32:04,314 OR DRIVING IN YOUR CAR WERE YOU HIDING UPSTAIRS OR PLAYING YOUR GUITAR ♪ 900 00:32:04,316 --> 00:32:05,382 WERE YOU HIDING UPSTAIRS OR PLAYING YOUR GUITAR ♪ ♪ WAS THERE NOTHING 901 00:32:05,384 --> 00:32:06,449 OR PLAYING YOUR GUITAR ♪ ♪ WAS THERE NOTHING EVER WRONG 902 00:32:06,451 --> 00:32:07,017 ♪ WAS THERE NOTHING EVER WRONG 'CAUSE YOU WERE 903 00:32:07,019 --> 00:32:08,084 EVER WRONG 'CAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT ♪ 904 00:32:08,086 --> 00:32:09,152 'CAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT ♪ ♪ TELL ME 905 00:32:09,154 --> 00:32:10,220 ALWAYS RIGHT ♪ ♪ TELL ME WERE YOU BLINDSIDED 906 00:32:10,222 --> 00:32:12,355 ♪ TELL ME WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ 907 00:32:12,357 --> 00:32:13,957 WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING 908 00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:15,058 OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST 909 00:32:15,060 --> 00:32:17,193 ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ 910 00:32:17,195 --> 00:32:19,362 THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YEARS OF SITTING 911 00:32:19,364 --> 00:32:20,964 AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YEARS OF SITTING ACROSS FROM ME IN THERAPY ♪ 912 00:32:20,966 --> 00:32:22,032 ♪ YEARS OF SITTING ACROSS FROM ME IN THERAPY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH 913 00:32:22,034 --> 00:32:23,099 ACROSS FROM ME IN THERAPY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR 914 00:32:23,101 --> 00:32:25,301 ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ 915 00:32:25,303 --> 00:32:29,005 IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED 916 00:32:29,007 --> 00:32:34,444 BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND 917 00:32:34,446 --> 00:32:37,147 ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ 918 00:32:37,149 --> 00:32:38,782 OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ I'D GO WRITE A SONG 919 00:32:38,784 --> 00:32:40,950 WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ I'D GO WRITE A SONG AND YOU'D GO FOR A WALK 920 00:32:40,952 --> 00:32:42,552 ♪ I'D GO WRITE A SONG AND YOU'D GO FOR A WALK WE HAD TO T DRUNK 921 00:32:42,554 --> 00:32:44,721 AND YOU'D GO FOR A WALK WE HAD TO T DRUNK TO EVER REALLY TALK ♪ 922 00:32:44,723 --> 00:32:45,789 WE HAD TO T DRUNK TO EVER REALLY TALK ♪ ♪ I TOLD YOU AT I NEEDED 923 00:32:45,791 --> 00:32:47,924 TO EVER REALLY TALK ♪ ♪ I TOLD YOU AT I NEEDED DIDN'T HAVE TO READ MY MIND 924 00:32:47,926 --> 00:32:49,559 ♪ I TOLD YOU AT I NEEDED DIDN'T HAVE TO READ MY MIND SO WERE YOU BLINDSIDED 925 00:32:49,561 --> 00:32:52,262 DIDN'T HAVE TO READ MY MIND SO WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ 926 00:32:52,264 --> 00:32:53,329 SO WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING 927 00:32:53,331 --> 00:32:54,898 OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST 928 00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:56,499 ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ 929 00:32:56,501 --> 00:32:57,667 THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YOU DIDN'T EVER 930 00:32:57,669 --> 00:32:58,735 AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YOU DIDN'T EVER WANNA LEAVE THE HOUSE 931 00:32:58,737 --> 00:32:59,803 ♪ YOU DIDN'T EVER WANNA LEAVE THE HOUSE OR DIDN'T WANT A FAMILY ♪ 932 00:32:59,805 --> 00:33:00,904 WANNA LEAVE THE HOUSE OR DIDN'T WANT A FAMILY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH 933 00:33:00,906 --> 00:33:02,505 OR DIDN'T WANT A FAMILY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR 934 00:33:02,507 --> 00:33:04,641 ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ 935 00:33:04,643 --> 00:33:07,877 IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED 936 00:33:07,879 --> 00:33:11,614 BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND 937 00:33:11,616 --> 00:33:13,249 ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST 938 00:33:13,251 --> 00:33:16,953 OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST WERE YOU JUST ♪ 939 00:33:16,955 --> 00:33:18,088 WERE YOU JUST WERE YOU JUST ♪ ♪ LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN 2019 940 00:33:18,090 --> 00:33:19,722 WERE YOU JUST ♪ ♪ LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN 2019 BEFORE THAT BIG SHOW 941 00:33:19,724 --> 00:33:21,357 ♪ LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN 2019 BEFORE THAT BIG SHOW WE HAD A BIG FIGHT ♪ 942 00:33:21,359 --> 00:33:22,926 BEFORE THAT BIG SHOW WE HAD A BIG FIGHT ♪ ♪ I SLEPT ON THE COUCH 943 00:33:22,928 --> 00:33:23,960 WE HAD A BIG FIGHT ♪ ♪ I SLEPT ON THE COUCH AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT 944 00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:25,595 ♪ I SLEPT ON THE COUCH AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT YOU PUT ON YOUR SUIT ♪ 945 00:33:25,597 --> 00:33:27,230 AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT YOU PUT ON YOUR SUIT ♪ ♪ I PUT ON A SMILE 946 00:33:27,232 --> 00:33:28,832 YOU PUT ON YOUR SUIT ♪ ♪ I PUT ON A SMILE AND SANG ABOUT 947 00:33:28,834 --> 00:33:29,399 ♪ I PUT ON A SMILE AND SANG ABOUT HOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY 948 00:33:29,401 --> 00:33:33,703 AND SANG ABOUT HOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY DYING INSIDE ♪ 949 00:33:33,705 --> 00:33:34,804 HOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY DYING INSIDE ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING 950 00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:35,872 DYING INSIDE ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST 951 00:33:35,874 --> 00:33:36,940 ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ 952 00:33:36,942 --> 00:33:38,007 THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ TELL ME 953 00:33:38,009 --> 00:33:39,175 AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ TELL ME WHEN DID I START 954 00:33:39,177 --> 00:33:41,311 ♪ TELL ME WHEN DID I START LOOKING LIKE THE ENEMY ♪ 955 00:33:41,313 --> 00:33:42,378 WHEN DID I START LOOKING LIKE THE ENEMY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH 956 00:33:42,380 --> 00:33:43,413 LOOKING LIKE THE ENEMY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR 957 00:33:43,415 --> 00:33:43,980 ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR YOU'VE GOT YOURS 958 00:33:43,982 --> 00:33:45,615 IS HARD TO HEAR YOU'VE GOT YOURS AND I'VE GOT MINE ♪ 959 00:33:45,617 --> 00:33:48,852 YOU'VE GOT YOURS AND I'VE GOT MINE ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED 960 00:33:48,854 --> 00:33:52,622 AND I'VE GOT MINE ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND 961 00:33:52,624 --> 00:33:56,926 ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND YEAH 962 00:33:56,928 --> 00:34:00,163 OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND YEAH WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ 963 00:34:00,165 --> 00:34:04,968 WERE YOU JUST BLIND YEAH WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ WHOA YEAH 964 00:34:04,970 --> 00:34:06,569 WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ WHOA YEAH WERE YOU WERE YOU JUST BLIND 965 00:34:06,571 --> 00:34:09,772 ♪ WHOA YEAH WERE YOU WERE YOU JUST BLIND BABY YEAH ♪ 966 00:34:09,774 --> 00:34:15,111 WERE YOU WERE YOU JUST BLIND BABY YEAH ♪ ♪ 967 00:34:15,113 --> 00:34:16,179 BABY YEAH ♪ ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING 968 00:34:16,181 --> 00:34:22,552 ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO 969 00:34:22,554 --> 00:34:23,019 ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO YOU COULDN'T SAY 970 00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:23,520 OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO YOU COULDN'T SAY IT TO MY FACE ♪ 971 00:34:23,522 --> 00:34:24,020 YOU COULDN'T SAY IT TO MY FACE ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE 972 00:34:24,022 --> 00:34:24,721 IT TO MY FACE ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER 973 00:34:24,723 --> 00:34:25,255 ♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ 974 00:34:25,257 --> 00:34:25,855 SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING 975 00:34:25,857 --> 00:34:26,422 YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO 976 00:34:26,424 --> 00:34:27,056 ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY HEART 977 00:34:27,058 --> 00:34:27,524 OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY HEART THAT BREAKS ♪ 978 00:34:27,526 --> 00:34:28,024 BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY HEART THAT BREAKS ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE 979 00:34:28,026 --> 00:34:29,092 THAT BREAKS ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER 980 00:34:29,094 --> 00:34:36,032 ♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ 981 00:34:36,034 --> 00:34:38,301 SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 982 00:34:59,256 --> 00:35:12,869 >> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. 983 00:35:12,871 --> 00:35:14,404 UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 984 00:35:14,406 --> 00:35:15,138 MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." 985 00:35:15,140 --> 00:35:15,638 >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. 986 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:16,906 >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. 987 00:35:16,908 --> 00:35:19,576 I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. TENNESSEE GOVERNOR BILL LEE 988 00:35:19,578 --> 00:35:21,177 >> I'M COLIN JOST. TENNESSEE GOVERNOR BILL LEE SIGNED A NEW LAW BANNING PUBLIC 989 00:35:21,179 --> 00:35:22,779 TENNESSEE GOVERNOR BILL LEE SIGNED A NEW LAW BANNING PUBLIC DRAG PERFORMANCES WITH A 990 00:35:22,781 --> 00:35:24,914 SIGNED A NEW LAW BANNING PUBLIC DRAG PERFORMANCES WITH A SIX-YEAR PRISON SENTENCE FOR 991 00:35:24,916 --> 00:35:29,085 DRAG PERFORMANCES WITH A SIX-YEAR PRISON SENTENCE FOR REPEAT OFFENDERS AS FIRST 992 00:35:29,087 --> 00:35:30,820 SIX-YEAR PRISON SENTENCE FOR REPEAT OFFENDERS AS FIRST PREDICTED IN THE 993 00:35:30,822 --> 00:35:31,287 REPEAT OFFENDERS AS FIRST PREDICTED IN THE NOW-DOCUMENTARY, 994 00:35:31,289 --> 00:35:32,989 PREDICTED IN THE NOW-DOCUMENTARY, MADEA GOES TO JAIL. 995 00:35:32,991 --> 00:35:38,661 NOW-DOCUMENTARY, MADEA GOES TO JAIL. A TENNESSEE STATE SENATOR SAID 996 00:35:38,663 --> 00:35:40,430 MADEA GOES TO JAIL. A TENNESSEE STATE SENATOR SAID THAT THE BILL WILL PREVENT KIDS 997 00:35:40,432 --> 00:35:42,999 A TENNESSEE STATE SENATOR SAID THAT THE BILL WILL PREVENT KIDS FROM BEING BLIND SIDED FROM A 998 00:35:43,001 --> 00:35:44,434 THAT THE BILL WILL PREVENT KIDS FROM BEING BLIND SIDED FROM A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE IN 999 00:35:44,436 --> 00:35:44,767 FROM BEING BLIND SIDED FROM A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE IN PUBLIC. 1000 00:35:44,769 --> 00:35:46,236 SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE IN PUBLIC. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1001 00:35:46,238 --> 00:35:49,038 PUBLIC. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DRAG SHOWS DON'T POP UP LIKE 1002 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,442 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DRAG SHOWS DON'T POP UP LIKE FLASH MOBS AND SPRINKLE GAY DUST 1003 00:35:52,444 --> 00:35:55,245 DRAG SHOWS DON'T POP UP LIKE FLASH MOBS AND SPRINKLE GAY DUST ON YOUR KIDS. 1004 00:35:55,247 --> 00:35:56,913 FLASH MOBS AND SPRINKLE GAY DUST ON YOUR KIDS. I HAVE BEEN BLINDSIDED BY A 1005 00:35:56,915 --> 00:35:57,614 ON YOUR KIDS. I HAVE BEEN BLINDSIDED BY A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE A FEW 1006 00:35:57,616 --> 00:35:58,348 I HAVE BEEN BLINDSIDED BY A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE A FEW TIMES, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET 1007 00:35:58,350 --> 00:36:01,184 SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE A FEW TIMES, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TAKE THE BUS. 1008 00:36:01,186 --> 00:36:02,785 TIMES, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TAKE THE BUS. >> THE U.S. ENERGY DEPARTMENT 1009 00:36:02,787 --> 00:36:03,886 WHEN YOU TAKE THE BUS. >> THE U.S. ENERGY DEPARTMENT CONCLUDED THAT COVID LIKELY 1010 00:36:03,888 --> 00:36:11,461 >> THE U.S. ENERGY DEPARTMENT CONCLUDED THAT COVID LIKELY ORIGINATED FROM A WUHAN 1011 00:36:11,463 --> 00:36:14,697 CONCLUDED THAT COVID LIKELY ORIGINATED FROM A WUHAN LABORATORY LEAK AND NOT A WET 1012 00:36:14,699 --> 00:36:15,031 ORIGINATED FROM A WUHAN LABORATORY LEAK AND NOT A WET MARKET. 1013 00:36:15,033 --> 00:36:18,801 LABORATORY LEAK AND NOT A WET MARKET. SO I GAVE UP EATING BATS FOR 1014 00:36:18,803 --> 00:36:19,135 MARKET. SO I GAVE UP EATING BATS FOR NOTHING? 1015 00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:19,836 SO I GAVE UP EATING BATS FOR NOTHING? NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY 1016 00:36:19,838 --> 00:36:20,470 NOTHING? NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP 1017 00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:21,137 NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP DILBERT AFTER CREATOR SCOTT 1018 00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:21,871 DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP DILBERT AFTER CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS SAID HE CHOSE TO LIVE IN A 1019 00:36:21,873 --> 00:36:22,605 DILBERT AFTER CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS SAID HE CHOSE TO LIVE IN A COMMUNITY WHERE NO BLACK PEOPLE 1020 00:36:22,607 --> 00:36:23,139 ADAMS SAID HE CHOSE TO LIVE IN A COMMUNITY WHERE NO BLACK PEOPLE LIVE. 1021 00:36:23,141 --> 00:36:25,642 COMMUNITY WHERE NO BLACK PEOPLE LIVE. SO HE LIVES IN YOUR BUILDING, 1022 00:36:25,644 --> 00:36:30,079 LIVE. SO HE LIVES IN YOUR BUILDING, HUH, COLIN? 1023 00:36:30,081 --> 00:36:33,283 SO HE LIVES IN YOUR BUILDING, HUH, COLIN? >> NO. 1024 00:36:33,285 --> 00:36:34,917 HUH, COLIN? >> NO. NEWSPAPERS DROPPED THE CARTOON 1025 00:36:34,919 --> 00:36:36,452 >> NO. NEWSPAPERS DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, AND 1026 00:36:36,454 --> 00:36:38,655 NEWSPAPERS DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, AND TO RUB IT IN, THEY'RE REPLACING 1027 00:36:38,657 --> 00:36:43,059 STRIP EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, AND TO RUB IT IN, THEY'RE REPLACING DILBERT WITH PEANUT'S OOPS ALL 1028 00:36:43,061 --> 00:36:44,827 TO RUB IT IN, THEY'RE REPLACING DILBERT WITH PEANUT'S OOPS ALL FRANKLIN. 1029 00:36:44,829 --> 00:36:46,462 DILBERT WITH PEANUT'S OOPS ALL FRANKLIN. DILBERT CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS' 1030 00:36:46,464 --> 00:36:48,631 FRANKLIN. DILBERT CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS' RACIST RANT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A 1031 00:36:48,633 --> 00:36:50,233 DILBERT CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS' RACIST RANT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A POLL THAT ASKED THE QUESTION, IS 1032 00:36:50,235 --> 00:36:52,935 RACIST RANT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A POLL THAT ASKED THE QUESTION, IS IT OKAY TO BE WHITE. 1033 00:36:52,937 --> 00:36:53,670 POLL THAT ASKED THE QUESTION, IS IT OKAY TO BE WHITE. OH, I WOULD SAY IT'S MORE THAN 1034 00:36:53,672 --> 00:37:02,078 IT OKAY TO BE WHITE. OH, I WOULD SAY IT'S MORE THAN JUST OKAY. 1035 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,213 OH, I WOULD SAY IT'S MORE THAN JUST OKAY. >> THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE 1036 00:37:04,215 --> 00:37:04,947 JUST OKAY. >> THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE HAS ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION 1037 00:37:04,949 --> 00:37:06,349 >> THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE HAS ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION INTO GEORGE SANTOS. 1038 00:37:06,351 --> 00:37:07,417 HAS ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION INTO GEORGE SANTOS. WELL, THANK GOD I'M NOT GEORGE 1039 00:37:07,419 --> 00:37:11,688 INTO GEORGE SANTOS. WELL, THANK GOD I'M NOT GEORGE SANTOS, SAID GEORGE SANTOS. 1040 00:37:11,690 --> 00:37:13,856 WELL, THANK GOD I'M NOT GEORGE SANTOS, SAID GEORGE SANTOS. DONALD TRUMP ACCUSED RON 1041 00:37:13,858 --> 00:37:16,559 SANTOS, SAID GEORGE SANTOS. DONALD TRUMP ACCUSED RON DeSANTIS OF WANTING TO CUT 1042 00:37:16,561 --> 00:37:18,194 DONALD TRUMP ACCUSED RON DeSANTIS OF WANTING TO CUT SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND 1043 00:37:18,196 --> 00:37:19,262 DeSANTIS OF WANTING TO CUT SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND CALLED THE FLORIDA GOVERNOR A 1044 00:37:19,264 --> 00:37:19,996 SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND CALLED THE FLORIDA GOVERNOR A WHEELCHAIR-OVER-THE-CLIFF KIND 1045 00:37:19,998 --> 00:37:23,566 CALLED THE FLORIDA GOVERNOR A WHEELCHAIR-OVER-THE-CLIFF KIND OF GUY. 1046 00:37:23,568 --> 00:37:24,267 WHEELCHAIR-OVER-THE-CLIFF KIND OF GUY. THAT'S ALSO HOW MELANIA WILL 1047 00:37:24,269 --> 00:37:30,940 OF GUY. THAT'S ALSO HOW MELANIA WILL FINALLY GET RID OF HIM. 1048 00:37:30,942 --> 00:37:32,642 THAT'S ALSO HOW MELANIA WILL FINALLY GET RID OF HIM. >> HOUSE REPUBLICANS CONCERNED 1049 00:37:32,644 --> 00:37:36,646 FINALLY GET RID OF HIM. >> HOUSE REPUBLICANS CONCERNED THAT CHINA COULD USE TIKTOK TO 1050 00:37:36,648 --> 00:37:38,581 >> HOUSE REPUBLICANS CONCERNED THAT CHINA COULD USE TIKTOK TO ILLEGALLY GATHER INFORMATION ON 1051 00:37:38,583 --> 00:37:40,616 THAT CHINA COULD USE TIKTOK TO ILLEGALLY GATHER INFORMATION ON AMERICANS HAVE VOTED ON A BILL 1052 00:37:40,618 --> 00:37:43,519 ILLEGALLY GATHER INFORMATION ON AMERICANS HAVE VOTED ON A BILL THAT WOULD BAN THE APP 1053 00:37:43,521 --> 00:37:43,920 AMERICANS HAVE VOTED ON A BILL THAT WOULD BAN THE APP NATIONWIDE. 1054 00:37:43,922 --> 00:37:52,929 THAT WOULD BAN THE APP NATIONWIDE. REPLIED TIKTOK USERS -- 1055 00:37:52,931 --> 00:37:53,262 NATIONWIDE. REPLIED TIKTOK USERS -- ♪ 1056 00:37:53,264 --> 00:37:54,564 REPLIED TIKTOK USERS -- ♪ >> THAT'S HOW HE REALLY DANCES 1057 00:37:54,566 --> 00:37:54,831 ♪ >> THAT'S HOW HE REALLY DANCES TOO. 1058 00:37:54,833 --> 00:37:55,565 >> THAT'S HOW HE REALLY DANCES TOO. >> FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN SAID IN 1059 00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:56,666 TOO. >> FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN SAID IN AN INTERVIEW SHE MAINTAINS A 1060 00:37:56,668 --> 00:37:57,767 >> FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN SAID IN AN INTERVIEW SHE MAINTAINS A GOOD BALANCE IN THE TYPES OF 1061 00:37:57,769 --> 00:37:58,835 AN INTERVIEW SHE MAINTAINS A GOOD BALANCE IN THE TYPES OF ADVICE SHE OFFERS PRESIDENT 1062 00:37:58,837 --> 00:37:59,902 GOOD BALANCE IN THE TYPES OF ADVICE SHE OFFERS PRESIDENT BIDEN, BUT IT'S MOSTLY, HOLD ON 1063 00:37:59,904 --> 00:38:07,977 ADVICE SHE OFFERS PRESIDENT BIDEN, BUT IT'S MOSTLY, HOLD ON TO THE RAILING. 1064 00:38:07,979 --> 00:38:08,611 BIDEN, BUT IT'S MOSTLY, HOLD ON TO THE RAILING. THIS WEEK, SOUTH CAROLINA 1065 00:38:08,613 --> 00:38:09,545 TO THE RAILING. THIS WEEK, SOUTH CAROLINA ATTORNEY ALEX MURDAUGH WAS FOUND 1066 00:38:09,547 --> 00:38:10,646 THIS WEEK, SOUTH CAROLINA ATTORNEY ALEX MURDAUGH WAS FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER AND ALSO FOUND 1067 00:38:10,648 --> 00:38:11,748 ATTORNEY ALEX MURDAUGH WAS FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER AND ALSO FOUND GUILTY OF LOOKING LIKE WILL 1068 00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:12,382 GUILTY OF MURDER AND ALSO FOUND GUILTY OF LOOKING LIKE WILL FERRELL DRESSED AS CONAN 1069 00:38:12,384 --> 00:38:15,518 GUILTY OF LOOKING LIKE WILL FERRELL DRESSED AS CONAN O'BRIEN. 1070 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,687 FERRELL DRESSED AS CONAN O'BRIEN. >> NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY 1071 00:38:17,689 --> 00:38:21,457 O'BRIEN. >> NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY ARE DROPPING BELOVED COMIC STRIP 1072 00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:22,525 >> NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY ARE DROPPING BELOVED COMIC STRIP DILBERT, AS ITS CREATOR SCOTT 1073 00:38:22,527 --> 00:38:24,093 ARE DROPPING BELOVED COMIC STRIP DILBERT, AS ITS CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS WENT ON A RACIST RANT LAST 1074 00:38:24,095 --> 00:38:25,161 DILBERT, AS ITS CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS WENT ON A RACIST RANT LAST WEEK ADVOCATING FOR WHITE PEOPLE 1075 00:38:25,163 --> 00:38:25,895 ADAMS WENT ON A RACIST RANT LAST WEEK ADVOCATING FOR WHITE PEOPLE TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM BLACK 1076 00:38:25,897 --> 00:38:26,763 WEEK ADVOCATING FOR WHITE PEOPLE TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM BLACK PEOPLE. 1077 00:38:26,765 --> 00:38:27,430 TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM BLACK PEOPLE. OFF THE RECORD, HE'S GOT A 1078 00:38:27,432 --> 00:38:33,603 PEOPLE. OFF THE RECORD, HE'S GOT A POINT. 1079 00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:35,271 OFF THE RECORD, HE'S GOT A POINT. HERE TO COMMENT -- THAT'S WHAT 1080 00:38:35,273 --> 00:38:36,873 POINT. HERE TO COMMENT -- THAT'S WHAT THE CARD SAYS. 1081 00:38:36,875 --> 00:38:43,146 HERE TO COMMENT -- THAT'S WHAT THE CARD SAYS. BUT HERE TO COMMENT IS DILBERT! 1082 00:38:43,148 --> 00:38:44,547 THE CARD SAYS. BUT HERE TO COMMENT IS DILBERT! >> HEY, MICHAEL. 1083 00:38:44,549 --> 00:38:45,047 BUT HERE TO COMMENT IS DILBERT! >> HEY, MICHAEL. >> HI, DILBERT. 1084 00:38:45,049 --> 00:38:45,782 >> HEY, MICHAEL. >> HI, DILBERT. SO HAD YOU EVER SEEN THIS SIDE 1085 00:38:45,784 --> 00:38:48,785 >> HI, DILBERT. SO HAD YOU EVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF SCOTT ADAMS BEFORE? 1086 00:38:48,787 --> 00:38:50,420 SO HAD YOU EVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF SCOTT ADAMS BEFORE? >> MICHAEL, I THINK I CAN SPEAK 1087 00:38:50,422 --> 00:38:51,487 OF SCOTT ADAMS BEFORE? >> MICHAEL, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE ALL 1088 00:38:51,489 --> 00:38:53,122 >> MICHAEL, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE ALL WHITE STAFF AT THE DILBERT 1089 00:38:53,124 --> 00:38:53,823 FOR MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE ALL WHITE STAFF AT THE DILBERT OFFICES WHEN I SAY THIS WAS A 1090 00:38:53,825 --> 00:38:55,825 WHITE STAFF AT THE DILBERT OFFICES WHEN I SAY THIS WAS A TOTAL SHOCK. 1091 00:38:55,827 --> 00:38:56,926 OFFICES WHEN I SAY THIS WAS A TOTAL SHOCK. I MEAN MOST CARTOONISTS ARE 1092 00:38:56,928 --> 00:38:58,528 TOTAL SHOCK. I MEAN MOST CARTOONISTS ARE WEIRD, BUT RACIST WEIRD? 1093 00:38:58,530 --> 00:39:02,331 I MEAN MOST CARTOONISTS ARE WEIRD, BUT RACIST WEIRD? LET'S JUST SAY I NEVER GOT THAT 1094 00:39:02,333 --> 00:39:02,865 WEIRD, BUT RACIST WEIRD? LET'S JUST SAY I NEVER GOT THAT MEMO. 1095 00:39:02,867 --> 00:39:03,933 LET'S JUST SAY I NEVER GOT THAT MEMO. RIGHT? 1096 00:39:03,935 --> 00:39:08,738 MEMO. RIGHT? MEMOS. 1097 00:39:08,740 --> 00:39:11,774 RIGHT? MEMOS. WORK IS BORING, BUT I CAN BE 1098 00:39:11,776 --> 00:39:12,642 MEMOS. WORK IS BORING, BUT I CAN BE FUNNY TOO. 1099 00:39:12,644 --> 00:39:13,776 WORK IS BORING, BUT I CAN BE FUNNY TOO. THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. 1100 00:39:13,778 --> 00:39:14,510 FUNNY TOO. THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. >> SO YOU JUST THOUGHT SCOTT WAS 1101 00:39:14,512 --> 00:39:15,344 THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. >> SO YOU JUST THOUGHT SCOTT WAS WEIRD? 1102 00:39:15,346 --> 00:39:16,379 >> SO YOU JUST THOUGHT SCOTT WAS WEIRD? >> NO. 1103 00:39:16,381 --> 00:39:20,116 WEIRD? >> NO. I KNEW HE WAS BAD. 1104 00:39:20,118 --> 00:39:25,988 >> NO. I KNEW HE WAS BAD. HE MADE ME GO INTO THE OFFICE 1105 00:39:25,990 --> 00:39:30,226 I KNEW HE WAS BAD. HE MADE ME GO INTO THE OFFICE EVERY DAY DURING COVID, AND HE 1106 00:39:30,228 --> 00:39:30,593 HE MADE ME GO INTO THE OFFICE EVERY DAY DURING COVID, AND HE KNOWS I'M 1107 00:39:30,595 --> 00:39:30,993 EVERY DAY DURING COVID, AND HE KNOWS I'M AUTOIMMUNE. 1108 00:39:30,995 --> 00:39:31,561 KNOWS I'M AUTOIMMUNE. >> YOU'RE AUTOIMMUNE? 1109 00:39:31,563 --> 00:39:32,295 AUTOIMMUNE. >> YOU'RE AUTOIMMUNE? >> DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S 1110 00:39:32,297 --> 00:39:32,762 >> YOU'RE AUTOIMMUNE? >> DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT AUTOIMMUNE? 1111 00:39:32,764 --> 00:39:33,296 >> DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT AUTOIMMUNE? I'M A REAL ATHLETE. 1112 00:39:33,298 --> 00:39:33,930 NOT AUTOIMMUNE? I'M A REAL ATHLETE. MY HAIR IS SKIN, MICHAEL. 1113 00:39:33,932 --> 00:39:34,497 I'M A REAL ATHLETE. MY HAIR IS SKIN, MICHAEL. >> YOUR HAIR IS SKIN? 1114 00:39:34,499 --> 00:39:34,831 MY HAIR IS SKIN, MICHAEL. >> YOUR HAIR IS SKIN? >> YES. 1115 00:39:34,833 --> 00:39:36,165 >> YOUR HAIR IS SKIN? >> YES. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. 1116 00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:36,899 >> YES. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. MY HAIR IS ENTIRELY SKIN, AND IT 1117 00:39:36,901 --> 00:39:37,767 I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. MY HAIR IS ENTIRELY SKIN, AND IT HAS BEEN THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF MY 1118 00:39:37,769 --> 00:39:40,837 MY HAIR IS ENTIRELY SKIN, AND IT HAS BEEN THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF MY LIFE. 1119 00:39:40,839 --> 00:39:42,271 HAS BEEN THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF MY LIFE. >> I'M VERY SORRY. 1120 00:39:42,273 --> 00:39:42,772 LIFE. >> I'M VERY SORRY. >> NO. 1121 00:39:42,774 --> 00:39:44,407 >> I'M VERY SORRY. >> NO. I'M SORRY, MICHAEL, FOR RACISM. 1122 00:39:44,409 --> 00:39:45,475 >> NO. I'M SORRY, MICHAEL, FOR RACISM. MAYBE I WAS JUST BLIND TO IT. 1123 00:39:45,477 --> 00:39:49,745 I'M SORRY, MICHAEL, FOR RACISM. MAYBE I WAS JUST BLIND TO IT. I MEAN, MY GLASSES ARE LITERALLY 1124 00:39:49,747 --> 00:39:50,146 MAYBE I WAS JUST BLIND TO IT. I MEAN, MY GLASSES ARE LITERALLY OPEC WHITE. 1125 00:39:50,148 --> 00:39:51,347 I MEAN, MY GLASSES ARE LITERALLY OPEC WHITE. TO ME, HE WAS JUST SCOTT, THE 1126 00:39:51,349 --> 00:39:52,415 OPEC WHITE. TO ME, HE WAS JUST SCOTT, THE FUNNY GUY, THE TRUMP-SUPPORTING 1127 00:39:52,417 --> 00:39:53,149 TO ME, HE WAS JUST SCOTT, THE FUNNY GUY, THE TRUMP-SUPPORTING CARTOONIST WHO DID MAGIC IN HIS 1128 00:39:53,151 --> 00:39:54,050 FUNNY GUY, THE TRUMP-SUPPORTING CARTOONIST WHO DID MAGIC IN HIS SPARE TIME. 1129 00:39:54,052 --> 00:39:54,650 CARTOONIST WHO DID MAGIC IN HIS SPARE TIME. HAD A GREAT KEVIN HART 1130 00:39:54,652 --> 00:39:57,253 SPARE TIME. HAD A GREAT KEVIN HART IMPRESSION. 1131 00:39:57,255 --> 00:40:00,289 HAD A GREAT KEVIN HART IMPRESSION. >> WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A 1132 00:40:00,291 --> 00:40:00,723 IMPRESSION. >> WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RACIST TO ME. 1133 00:40:00,725 --> 00:40:04,227 >> WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RACIST TO ME. >> WELL, TURNS OUT HE WAS A 1134 00:40:04,229 --> 00:40:04,560 RACIST TO ME. >> WELL, TURNS OUT HE WAS A RACIST. 1135 00:40:04,562 --> 00:40:05,161 >> WELL, TURNS OUT HE WAS A RACIST. I'M HIS PRIZED CREATION. 1136 00:40:05,163 --> 00:40:05,828 RACIST. I'M HIS PRIZED CREATION. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? 1137 00:40:05,830 --> 00:40:07,964 I'M HIS PRIZED CREATION. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? I WANTED ANSWERS, SO I TOOK A -- 1138 00:40:07,966 --> 00:40:10,132 WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? I WANTED ANSWERS, SO I TOOK A -- GOD FORBID -- PERSONAL DAY, AND 1139 00:40:10,134 --> 00:40:14,670 I WANTED ANSWERS, SO I TOOK A -- GOD FORBID -- PERSONAL DAY, AND REALLY STARTED TO DIG IN ON 1140 00:40:14,672 --> 00:40:18,307 GOD FORBID -- PERSONAL DAY, AND REALLY STARTED TO DIG IN ON THE CONCEPT OF WHAT IS WORK, 1141 00:40:18,309 --> 00:40:19,675 REALLY STARTED TO DIG IN ON THE CONCEPT OF WHAT IS WORK, READING LOTS OF BLACK RADICALS, 1142 00:40:19,677 --> 00:40:21,310 THE CONCEPT OF WHAT IS WORK, READING LOTS OF BLACK RADICALS, AND I REALIZED SOMETHING. 1143 00:40:21,312 --> 00:40:23,980 READING LOTS OF BLACK RADICALS, AND I REALIZED SOMETHING. EVEN MUNDANE WORK SERVES TO 1144 00:40:23,982 --> 00:40:24,714 AND I REALIZED SOMETHING. EVEN MUNDANE WORK SERVES TO UPHOLD A CAPITALIST SYSTEM BASED 1145 00:40:24,716 --> 00:40:25,615 EVEN MUNDANE WORK SERVES TO UPHOLD A CAPITALIST SYSTEM BASED ON MAINTAINING RACIAL HIERARCHY, 1146 00:40:25,617 --> 00:40:30,753 UPHOLD A CAPITALIST SYSTEM BASED ON MAINTAINING RACIAL HIERARCHY, BUT THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE. 1147 00:40:30,755 --> 00:40:31,921 ON MAINTAINING RACIAL HIERARCHY, BUT THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE. RACE WAR IS COMING. 1148 00:40:31,923 --> 00:40:33,523 BUT THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE. RACE WAR IS COMING. YOU READY, MICHAEL? 1149 00:40:33,525 --> 00:40:34,023 RACE WAR IS COMING. YOU READY, MICHAEL? >> WHAT? 1150 00:40:34,025 --> 00:40:34,524 YOU READY, MICHAEL? >> WHAT? >> ARE YOU READY? 1151 00:40:34,526 --> 00:40:36,726 >> WHAT? >> ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE DILBERT'S READY. 1152 00:40:36,728 --> 00:40:41,797 >> ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE DILBERT'S READY. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING READY TO 1153 00:40:41,799 --> 00:40:44,166 BECAUSE DILBERT'S READY. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING READY TO TAKE THE STREETS AND PAINT THE 1154 00:40:44,168 --> 00:40:46,569 I WOKE UP THIS MORNING READY TO TAKE THE STREETS AND PAINT THE CITY WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WHITE 1155 00:40:46,571 --> 00:40:46,836 TAKE THE STREETS AND PAINT THE CITY WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WHITE MAN. 1156 00:40:46,838 --> 00:40:48,871 CITY WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WHITE MAN. >> THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE, MAN. 1157 00:40:48,873 --> 00:40:49,472 MAN. >> THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE, MAN. >> YEAH. 1158 00:40:49,474 --> 00:40:53,075 >> THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE, MAN. >> YEAH. THEN I HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND 1159 00:40:53,077 --> 00:40:55,344 >> YEAH. THEN I HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T EVEN 1160 00:40:55,346 --> 00:40:59,382 THEN I HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME BEFORE MY COFFEE. 1161 00:40:59,384 --> 00:40:59,849 LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME BEFORE MY COFFEE. >> I GOT IT. 1162 00:40:59,851 --> 00:41:00,483 TALK TO ME BEFORE MY COFFEE. >> I GOT IT. WELL, DILBERT, EVERYBODY. 1163 00:41:00,485 --> 00:41:01,484 >> I GOT IT. WELL, DILBERT, EVERYBODY. >> THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN 1164 00:41:01,486 --> 00:41:02,018 WELL, DILBERT, EVERYBODY. >> THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL. 1165 00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:03,052 >> THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL. >> AS THIS YEAR'S AWARD SEASON 1166 00:41:03,054 --> 00:41:03,786 EMAIL. >> AS THIS YEAR'S AWARD SEASON GETS UNDERWAY, THERE'S GROWING 1167 00:41:03,788 --> 00:41:05,221 >> AS THIS YEAR'S AWARD SEASON GETS UNDERWAY, THERE'S GROWING MOVEMENT TO GET RID OF THE 1168 00:41:05,223 --> 00:41:06,322 GETS UNDERWAY, THERE'S GROWING MOVEMENT TO GET RID OF THE GENDERS CATEGORIES OF BEST ACTOR 1169 00:41:06,324 --> 00:41:10,026 MOVEMENT TO GET RID OF THE GENDERS CATEGORIES OF BEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS, AND INSTEAD CALL 1170 00:41:10,028 --> 00:41:10,726 GENDERS CATEGORIES OF BEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS, AND INSTEAD CALL THEM BEST ACTOR WITH AND BEST 1171 00:41:10,728 --> 00:41:16,032 AND ACTRESS, AND INSTEAD CALL THEM BEST ACTOR WITH AND BEST ACTOR WHO GOD PAID LESS. 1172 00:41:16,034 --> 00:41:18,200 THEM BEST ACTOR WITH AND BEST ACTOR WHO GOD PAID LESS. >> A MAN IN MISSOURI IS PLANNING 1173 00:41:18,202 --> 00:41:19,802 ACTOR WHO GOD PAID LESS. >> A MAN IN MISSOURI IS PLANNING TO TURN AN ABANDONED JAIL INTO 1174 00:41:19,804 --> 00:41:21,437 >> A MAN IN MISSOURI IS PLANNING TO TURN AN ABANDONED JAIL INTO AN AIRBNB RENTAL, WHICH WILL 1175 00:41:21,439 --> 00:41:22,505 TO TURN AN ABANDONED JAIL INTO AN AIRBNB RENTAL, WHICH WILL MAKE IT THE FIRST JAIL THAT 1176 00:41:22,507 --> 00:41:27,877 AN AIRBNB RENTAL, WHICH WILL MAKE IT THE FIRST JAIL THAT REFUSES TO ACCEPT BLACK PEOPLE. 1177 00:41:27,879 --> 00:41:30,513 MAKE IT THE FIRST JAIL THAT REFUSES TO ACCEPT BLACK PEOPLE. IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT PUERTO 1178 00:41:30,515 --> 00:41:31,647 REFUSES TO ACCEPT BLACK PEOPLE. IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT PUERTO RICO'S ONLY ZOO WAS CLOSING 1179 00:41:31,649 --> 00:41:32,348 IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT PUERTO RICO'S ONLY ZOO WAS CLOSING AFTER YEARS OF ALLEGED ANIMAL 1180 00:41:32,350 --> 00:41:35,918 RICO'S ONLY ZOO WAS CLOSING AFTER YEARS OF ALLEGED ANIMAL NEGLECT. 1181 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:36,652 AFTER YEARS OF ALLEGED ANIMAL NEGLECT. WORSE THE ZOO'S CLOSING IS BEING 1182 00:41:36,654 --> 00:41:47,530 NEGLECT. WORSE THE ZOO'S CLOSING IS BEING ADVERTISED AS ALL YOU CAN EAT. 1183 00:41:47,532 --> 00:41:49,532 WORSE THE ZOO'S CLOSING IS BEING ADVERTISED AS ALL YOU CAN EAT. >> BIOLOGISTS IN FLORIDA ARE 1184 00:41:49,534 --> 00:41:54,136 ADVERTISED AS ALL YOU CAN EAT. >> BIOLOGISTS IN FLORIDA ARE WARNING THE JESUS CHRIST LIZARD 1185 00:41:54,138 --> 00:41:54,937 >> BIOLOGISTS IN FLORIDA ARE WARNING THE JESUS CHRIST LIZARD COULD SPREAD HARMFUL DISEASES TO 1186 00:41:54,939 --> 00:41:55,338 WARNING THE JESUS CHRIST LIZARD COULD SPREAD HARMFUL DISEASES TO HUMAN. 1187 00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:57,807 COULD SPREAD HARMFUL DISEASES TO HUMAN. THEY HOPE TO CONTROL THE 1188 00:41:57,809 --> 00:42:04,213 HUMAN. THEY HOPE TO CONTROL THE POPULATION BY INTRODUCING A 1189 00:42:04,215 --> 00:42:04,814 THEY HOPE TO CONTROL THE POPULATION BY INTRODUCING A PUNCTIOUS PILOT LIZARD. 1190 00:42:04,816 --> 00:42:07,483 POPULATION BY INTRODUCING A PUNCTIOUS PILOT LIZARD. IT WAS REPORTED THE JAMES BOND 1191 00:42:07,485 --> 00:42:10,853 PUNCTIOUS PILOT LIZARD. IT WAS REPORTED THE JAMES BOND BOOKS ARE BEING REWRITTEN TO 1192 00:42:10,855 --> 00:42:12,455 IT WAS REPORTED THE JAMES BOND BOOKS ARE BEING REWRITTEN TO ELIMINATE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. 1193 00:42:12,457 --> 00:42:15,157 BOOKS ARE BEING REWRITTEN TO ELIMINATE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. SO NOW THE CHARACTER PUSSY 1194 00:42:15,159 --> 00:42:22,365 ELIMINATE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. SO NOW THE CHARACTER PUSSY GALORE WILL NOW BE CALLS COOTER 1195 00:42:22,367 --> 00:42:22,698 SO NOW THE CHARACTER PUSSY GALORE WILL NOW BE CALLS COOTER APLENTY. 1196 00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:23,399 GALORE WILL NOW BE CALLS COOTER APLENTY. >> A CALIFORNIA MAN HAS SET A 1197 00:42:23,401 --> 00:42:24,100 APLENTY. >> A CALIFORNIA MAN HAS SET A NEW WORLD RECORD BY VISITING 1198 00:42:24,102 --> 00:42:24,834 >> A CALIFORNIA MAN HAS SET A NEW WORLD RECORD BY VISITING DISNEYLAND FOR 2,995 CONSECUTIVE 1199 00:42:24,836 --> 00:42:25,568 NEW WORLD RECORD BY VISITING DISNEYLAND FOR 2,995 CONSECUTIVE DAYS, BUT STILL NO SIGN OF HIS 1200 00:42:25,570 --> 00:42:29,639 DISNEYLAND FOR 2,995 CONSECUTIVE DAYS, BUT STILL NO SIGN OF HIS KID. 1201 00:42:29,641 --> 00:42:31,440 DAYS, BUT STILL NO SIGN OF HIS KID. I TRIED TO PLOW RIGHT THROUGH. 1202 00:42:31,442 --> 00:42:32,341 KID. I TRIED TO PLOW RIGHT THROUGH. A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT MARRIED 1203 00:42:32,343 --> 00:42:33,042 I TRIED TO PLOW RIGHT THROUGH. A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT MARRIED MEN LIVE A LONGER, HEALTHIER 1204 00:42:33,044 --> 00:42:34,477 A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT MARRIED MEN LIVE A LONGER, HEALTHIER LIFE. 1205 00:42:34,479 --> 00:42:44,253 MEN LIVE A LONGER, HEALTHIER LIFE. YEAH, BUT, FOR WHAT? 1206 00:42:44,255 --> 00:42:47,523 LIFE. YEAH, BUT, FOR WHAT? >> WELL, THE OSCARS ARE ALMOST 1207 00:42:47,525 --> 00:42:47,823 YEAH, BUT, FOR WHAT? >> WELL, THE OSCARS ARE ALMOST HERE. 1208 00:42:47,825 --> 00:42:48,557 >> WELL, THE OSCARS ARE ALMOST HERE. HERE TO BREAK DOWN THE NOMINEES 1209 00:42:48,559 --> 00:42:49,258 HERE. HERE TO BREAK DOWN THE NOMINEES AND ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD ARE 1210 00:42:49,260 --> 00:42:55,965 HERE TO BREAK DOWN THE NOMINEES AND ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD ARE PUNKIE JOHNSON AND MIKEY DAY. 1211 00:42:55,967 --> 00:42:59,168 AND ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD ARE PUNKIE JOHNSON AND MIKEY DAY. >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO WHAT CAN 1212 00:42:59,170 --> 00:43:01,637 PUNKIE JOHNSON AND MIKEY DAY. >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THIS YEAR'S 1213 00:43:01,639 --> 00:43:01,971 >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THIS YEAR'S OSCARS? 1214 00:43:01,973 --> 00:43:02,705 WE EXPECT FROM THIS YEAR'S OSCARS? >> WELL, COLIN, I WOULD LOVE TO 1215 00:43:02,707 --> 00:43:04,373 OSCARS? >> WELL, COLIN, I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU BUT WHEN PUNKIE AND I 1216 00:43:04,375 --> 00:43:07,777 >> WELL, COLIN, I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU BUT WHEN PUNKIE AND I SAT DOWN TO WORK ON THIS, WE 1217 00:43:07,779 --> 00:43:10,279 TELL YOU BUT WHEN PUNKIE AND I SAT DOWN TO WORK ON THIS, WE REALIZED THAT PUNKIE DOES NOT 1218 00:43:10,281 --> 00:43:13,582 SAT DOWN TO WORK ON THIS, WE REALIZED THAT PUNKIE DOES NOT KNOW ANY OTHER CELEBRITIES OR 1219 00:43:13,584 --> 00:43:14,016 REALIZED THAT PUNKIE DOES NOT KNOW ANY OTHER CELEBRITIES OR ENTERTAINERS. 1220 00:43:14,018 --> 00:43:14,517 KNOW ANY OTHER CELEBRITIES OR ENTERTAINERS. >> THIS IS TRUE. 1221 00:43:14,519 --> 00:43:15,484 ENTERTAINERS. >> THIS IS TRUE. >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR 1222 00:43:15,486 --> 00:43:16,318 >> THIS IS TRUE. >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR NAMES REALLY. 1223 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,587 >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR NAMES REALLY. HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES, AND 1224 00:43:18,589 --> 00:43:21,757 NAMES REALLY. HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES, AND THESE ARE ALL 100% TRUE STORIES. 1225 00:43:21,759 --> 00:43:25,194 HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES, AND THESE ARE ALL 100% TRUE STORIES. I ONCE SAW PUNKIE CALL TONY 1226 00:43:25,196 --> 00:43:29,999 THESE ARE ALL 100% TRUE STORIES. I ONCE SAW PUNKIE CALL TONY HAWK, TONY HAWKING TO HIS FACE. 1227 00:43:30,001 --> 00:43:31,100 I ONCE SAW PUNKIE CALL TONY HAWK, TONY HAWKING TO HIS FACE. >> YOU CONFUSED THE MOST FAMOUS 1228 00:43:31,102 --> 00:43:31,801 HAWK, TONY HAWKING TO HIS FACE. >> YOU CONFUSED THE MOST FAMOUS SKATEBOARDER OF ALL TIME WITH 1229 00:43:31,803 --> 00:43:32,468 >> YOU CONFUSED THE MOST FAMOUS SKATEBOARDER OF ALL TIME WITH THE GENIUS PHYSICIST STEVEN 1230 00:43:32,470 --> 00:43:36,539 SKATEBOARDER OF ALL TIME WITH THE GENIUS PHYSICIST STEVEN HAWKING? 1231 00:43:36,541 --> 00:43:39,508 THE GENIUS PHYSICIST STEVEN HAWKING? >> I MEAN, LOOK, THEY BOTH WHITE 1232 00:43:39,510 --> 00:43:43,379 HAWKING? >> I MEAN, LOOK, THEY BOTH WHITE MEN WITH WHEELS, SO I MEAN -- 1233 00:43:43,381 --> 00:43:44,980 >> I MEAN, LOOK, THEY BOTH WHITE MEN WITH WHEELS, SO I MEAN -- >> BUT THE BEST THING THAT HAS 1234 00:43:44,982 --> 00:43:49,385 MEN WITH WHEELS, SO I MEAN -- >> BUT THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED WAS A FEW WEEKS 1235 00:43:49,387 --> 00:43:52,488 >> BUT THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN PUNKIE TOLD ME ALL OF 1236 00:43:52,490 --> 00:43:54,457 EVER HAPPENED WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN PUNKIE TOLD ME ALL OF HER FRIENDS COULD NOT 1237 00:43:54,459 --> 00:43:55,324 AGO WHEN PUNKIE TOLD ME ALL OF HER FRIENDS COULD NOT BELIEVE SHE MET RICK BERNSTEIN. 1238 00:43:55,326 --> 00:43:56,392 HER FRIENDS COULD NOT BELIEVE SHE MET RICK BERNSTEIN. >> AND WHO IS RICK BERNSTEIN? 1239 00:43:56,394 --> 00:43:57,493 BELIEVE SHE MET RICK BERNSTEIN. >> AND WHO IS RICK BERNSTEIN? >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 1240 00:43:57,495 --> 00:43:58,561 >> AND WHO IS RICK BERNSTEIN? >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. >> SO I SAID, IT'S THE GUY WITH 1241 00:43:58,563 --> 00:44:00,196 >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. >> SO I SAID, IT'S THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. 1242 00:44:00,198 --> 00:44:03,399 >> SO I SAID, IT'S THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. >> THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. 1243 00:44:03,401 --> 00:44:06,035 THE JEANS. >> THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT THAT 1244 00:44:06,037 --> 00:44:07,436 >> THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT THAT PUNKIE WAS REFERRING TO LIVING 1245 00:44:07,438 --> 00:44:12,808 I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT THAT PUNKIE WAS REFERRING TO LIVING LEGEND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. 1246 00:44:12,810 --> 00:44:19,181 PUNKIE WAS REFERRING TO LIVING LEGEND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. RICK BERNSTEIN! 1247 00:44:19,183 --> 00:44:21,317 LEGEND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. RICK BERNSTEIN! >> ALL RIGHT. 1248 00:44:21,319 --> 00:44:24,987 RICK BERNSTEIN! >> ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I GREW UP ON EDDIE MURPHY 1249 00:44:24,989 --> 00:44:27,790 >> ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I GREW UP ON EDDIE MURPHY AND RICHARD PRYOR. 1250 00:44:27,792 --> 00:44:28,524 LOOK, I GREW UP ON EDDIE MURPHY AND RICHARD PRYOR. THAT DUDE AIN'T BIG IN MY HOUSE. 1251 00:44:28,526 --> 00:44:28,958 AND RICHARD PRYOR. THAT DUDE AIN'T BIG IN MY HOUSE. SUE A BITCH. 1252 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,493 THAT DUDE AIN'T BIG IN MY HOUSE. SUE A BITCH. >> SO INSTEAD OF A OSCARS PIECE, 1253 00:44:30,495 --> 00:44:31,227 SUE A BITCH. >> SO INSTEAD OF A OSCARS PIECE, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE 1254 00:44:31,229 --> 00:44:31,927 >> SO INSTEAD OF A OSCARS PIECE, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED WHO 1255 00:44:31,929 --> 00:44:32,428 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN. 1256 00:44:32,430 --> 00:44:35,097 FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN. ARE YOU DOWN TO PLAY? 1257 00:44:35,099 --> 00:44:37,500 DOES PUNKIE MEAN. ARE YOU DOWN TO PLAY? >> I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A 1258 00:44:37,502 --> 00:44:37,800 ARE YOU DOWN TO PLAY? >> I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A CHASE. 1259 00:44:37,802 --> 00:44:38,601 >> I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A CHASE. >> ALL RIGHT. 1260 00:44:38,603 --> 00:44:41,337 CHASE. >> ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE, YOU CAN PLAY ALONG 1261 00:44:41,339 --> 00:44:41,971 >> ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE, YOU CAN PLAY ALONG IT'S SUPER FUN. 1262 00:44:41,973 --> 00:44:42,438 EVERYONE, YOU CAN PLAY ALONG IT'S SUPER FUN. NUMBER ONE. 1263 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,506 IT'S SUPER FUN. NUMBER ONE. PUNKIE REFERRED TO THIS 1264 00:44:43,508 --> 00:44:44,573 NUMBER ONE. PUNKIE REFERRED TO THIS CELEBRITY IN REAL LIFE AS CLAIRE 1265 00:44:44,575 --> 00:44:51,080 PUNKIE REFERRED TO THIS CELEBRITY IN REAL LIFE AS CLAIRE BLANKENSHIP. 1266 00:44:51,082 --> 00:44:51,547 CELEBRITY IN REAL LIFE AS CLAIRE BLANKENSHIP. >> I DON'T KNOW. 1267 00:44:51,549 --> 00:44:52,081 BLANKENSHIP. >> I DON'T KNOW. CLARA DANES, MAYBE. 1268 00:44:52,083 --> 00:44:52,715 >> I DON'T KNOW. CLARA DANES, MAYBE. >> LET'S SEE. 1269 00:44:52,717 --> 00:44:53,249 CLARA DANES, MAYBE. >> LET'S SEE. IS IT CLARA DANES? 1270 00:44:53,251 --> 00:44:56,452 >> LET'S SEE. IS IT CLARA DANES? NO. 1271 00:44:56,454 --> 00:44:58,087 IS IT CLARA DANES? NO. IT'S ANNE HATHAWAY. 1272 00:44:58,089 --> 00:45:01,357 NO. IT'S ANNE HATHAWAY. >> WAIT. 1273 00:45:01,359 --> 00:45:03,159 IT'S ANNE HATHAWAY. >> WAIT. >> THAT REALLY HAPPEN ED 1274 00:45:03,161 --> 00:45:03,492 >> WAIT. >> THAT REALLY HAPPEN ED >> NO. 1275 00:45:03,494 --> 00:45:07,229 >> THAT REALLY HAPPEN ED >> NO. WAIT, TIME-OUT. 1276 00:45:07,231 --> 00:45:10,132 >> NO. WAIT, TIME-OUT. PUT THE PICTURE BACK UP. 1277 00:45:10,134 --> 00:45:11,767 WAIT, TIME-OUT. PUT THE PICTURE BACK UP. BUT DOES THIS BITCH NOT LOOK 1278 00:45:11,769 --> 00:45:13,002 PUT THE PICTURE BACK UP. BUT DOES THIS BITCH NOT LOOK LIKE A CLAIRE? 1279 00:45:13,004 --> 00:45:14,770 BUT DOES THIS BITCH NOT LOOK LIKE A CLAIRE? >> SHE DOES. 1280 00:45:14,772 --> 00:45:15,171 LIKE A CLAIRE? >> SHE DOES. THAT'S FAIR. 1281 00:45:15,173 --> 00:45:15,838 >> SHE DOES. THAT'S FAIR. NUMBER TWO, ZOE DECHANESE. 1282 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:17,406 THAT'S FAIR. NUMBER TWO, ZOE DECHANESE. WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN? 1283 00:45:17,408 --> 00:45:18,107 NUMBER TWO, ZOE DECHANESE. WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN? TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, 1284 00:45:18,109 --> 00:45:22,678 WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN? TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, COLIN. 1285 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,079 TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, COLIN. >> I'M THINKING THIS ONE HAS 1286 00:45:24,081 --> 00:45:25,014 COLIN. >> I'M THINKING THIS ONE HAS TO BE ZOE DESCHANEL. 1287 00:45:25,016 --> 00:45:29,351 >> I'M THINKING THIS ONE HAS TO BE ZOE DESCHANEL. >> LOCK IT IN. 1288 00:45:29,353 --> 00:45:29,652 TO BE ZOE DESCHANEL. >> LOCK IT IN. NOPE. 1289 00:45:29,654 --> 00:45:30,419 >> LOCK IT IN. NOPE. IT'S ZOE KRAVITZ. 1290 00:45:30,421 --> 00:45:35,691 NOPE. IT'S ZOE KRAVITZ. >> WHAT? 1291 00:45:35,693 --> 00:45:36,826 IT'S ZOE KRAVITZ. >> WHAT? >> ALL RIGHT. 1292 00:45:36,828 --> 00:45:37,126 >> WHAT? >> ALL RIGHT. LOOK. 1293 00:45:37,128 --> 00:45:38,961 >> ALL RIGHT. LOOK. SEE, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I 1294 00:45:38,963 --> 00:45:39,695 LOOK. SEE, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I WAS GETTING MY MAKEUP DONE FOR 1295 00:45:39,697 --> 00:45:40,429 SEE, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I WAS GETTING MY MAKEUP DONE FOR SATURDAY'S SHOW BECAUSE I GOT TO 1296 00:45:40,431 --> 00:45:41,130 WAS GETTING MY MAKEUP DONE FOR SATURDAY'S SHOW BECAUSE I GOT TO LOOK GOOD FOR NORA MICHAELS. 1297 00:45:41,132 --> 00:45:42,731 SATURDAY'S SHOW BECAUSE I GOT TO LOOK GOOD FOR NORA MICHAELS. >> NORA MICHAELS? 1298 00:45:42,733 --> 00:45:46,802 LOOK GOOD FOR NORA MICHAELS. >> NORA MICHAELS? >> ANYWAY, I SEE ZOE WALK PAST, 1299 00:45:46,804 --> 00:45:49,071 >> NORA MICHAELS? >> ANYWAY, I SEE ZOE WALK PAST, AND I SAID, HEY, DON'T I KNOW 1300 00:45:49,073 --> 00:45:49,338 >> ANYWAY, I SEE ZOE WALK PAST, AND I SAID, HEY, DON'T I KNOW YOU? 1301 00:45:49,340 --> 00:45:52,975 AND I SAID, HEY, DON'T I KNOW YOU? >> YES, YOU DID BECAUSE SHE WAS 1302 00:45:52,977 --> 00:45:53,475 YOU? >> YES, YOU DID BECAUSE SHE WAS HOSTING THIS SHOW. 1303 00:45:53,477 --> 00:45:55,744 >> YES, YOU DID BECAUSE SHE WAS HOSTING THIS SHOW. THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEK. 1304 00:45:55,746 --> 00:46:01,450 HOSTING THIS SHOW. THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEK. >> MY BAD, MS. DACHANESE. 1305 00:46:01,452 --> 00:46:02,551 THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEK. >> MY BAD, MS. DACHANESE. >> OKAY. 1306 00:46:02,553 --> 00:46:03,118 >> MY BAD, MS. DACHANESE. >> OKAY. LAST ONE. 1307 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:04,954 >> OKAY. LAST ONE. HERE WE GO. 1308 00:46:04,956 --> 00:46:05,454 LAST ONE. HERE WE GO. PATRICK DEMPSEY. 1309 00:46:05,456 --> 00:46:07,756 HERE WE GO. PATRICK DEMPSEY. >> I THINK THERE'S NO WAY SHE 1310 00:46:07,758 --> 00:46:09,692 PATRICK DEMPSEY. >> I THINK THERE'S NO WAY SHE KNOWS WHO PATRICK DEMPSEY IS. 1311 00:46:09,694 --> 00:46:13,495 >> I THINK THERE'S NO WAY SHE KNOWS WHO PATRICK DEMPSEY IS. I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY PATRICK 1312 00:46:13,497 --> 00:46:13,863 KNOWS WHO PATRICK DEMPSEY IS. I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY PATRICK STEWART. 1313 00:46:13,865 --> 00:46:14,196 I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY PATRICK STEWART. >> NOPE. 1314 00:46:14,198 --> 00:46:21,070 STEWART. >> NOPE. SHE ACTUALLY DID MEAN PATRICK 1315 00:46:21,072 --> 00:46:21,403 >> NOPE. SHE ACTUALLY DID MEAN PATRICK DEMPSEY. 1316 00:46:21,405 --> 00:46:22,071 SHE ACTUALLY DID MEAN PATRICK DEMPSEY. >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I KNOW 1317 00:46:22,073 --> 00:46:22,404 DEMPSEY. >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I KNOW DEMPSEY. 1318 00:46:22,406 --> 00:46:23,038 >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I KNOW DEMPSEY. DR. DEREK SHE EVER, BABY. 1319 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:28,477 DEMPSEY. DR. DEREK SHE EVER, BABY. >> YOU WATCH "GREY'S ANATOMY?" 1320 00:46:28,479 --> 00:46:29,979 DR. DEREK SHE EVER, BABY. >> YOU WATCH "GREY'S ANATOMY?" >> OF COURSE I DO. 1321 00:46:29,981 --> 00:46:33,549 >> YOU WATCH "GREY'S ANATOMY?" >> OF COURSE I DO. I KNOW EVERY SHOW WITH SHONDA 1322 00:46:33,551 --> 00:46:33,883 >> OF COURSE I DO. I KNOW EVERY SHOW WITH SHONDA RHIMES. 1323 00:46:33,885 --> 00:46:37,653 I KNOW EVERY SHOW WITH SHONDA RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN RHONDA 1324 00:46:37,655 --> 00:46:37,987 RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN RHONDA RHIMES. 1325 00:46:37,989 --> 00:46:43,158 >> I THINK YOU MEAN RHONDA RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN BUSTA RIMES. 1326 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,727 RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN BUSTA RIMES. >> A PORN STAR IN AUSTRALIA 1327 00:46:44,729 --> 00:46:45,461 >> I THINK YOU MEAN BUSTA RIMES. >> A PORN STAR IN AUSTRALIA REVEALED WHILE RECENTLY FILMING 1328 00:46:45,463 --> 00:46:49,465 >> A PORN STAR IN AUSTRALIA REVEALED WHILE RECENTLY FILMING A NEW MOVIE, HE BROKE HIS PENIS 1329 00:46:49,467 --> 00:46:52,501 REVEALED WHILE RECENTLY FILMING A NEW MOVIE, HE BROKE HIS PENIS -- IT'S REALLY SAD, MA'AM. 1330 00:46:52,503 --> 00:46:54,970 A NEW MOVIE, HE BROKE HIS PENIS -- IT'S REALLY SAD, MA'AM. HE BROKE HIS PENIS AND SAID IT 1331 00:46:54,972 --> 00:46:56,538 -- IT'S REALLY SAD, MA'AM. HE BROKE HIS PENIS AND SAID IT WENT COMPLETELY BLACK, WHICH YOU 1332 00:46:56,540 --> 00:46:57,273 HE BROKE HIS PENIS AND SAID IT WENT COMPLETELY BLACK, WHICH YOU KNOW IT MEANS IT'S NEVER GOING 1333 00:46:57,275 --> 00:46:58,674 WENT COMPLETELY BLACK, WHICH YOU KNOW IT MEANS IT'S NEVER GOING BACK. 1334 00:46:58,676 --> 00:47:00,276 KNOW IT MEANS IT'S NEVER GOING BACK. THE MAN HAS ADJUSTED TO HIS NEW 1335 00:47:00,278 --> 00:47:03,679 BACK. THE MAN HAS ADJUSTED TO HIS NEW BLACK PENIS BY FILMING ALL HIS 1336 00:47:03,681 --> 00:47:11,754 THE MAN HAS ADJUSTED TO HIS NEW BLACK PENIS BY FILMING ALL HIS SEX SCENES IN TIMBER LANDS. 1337 00:47:11,756 --> 00:47:16,258 BLACK PENIS BY FILMING ALL HIS SEX SCENES IN TIMBER LANDS. IT'S REALLY SAD, MAN. 1338 00:47:16,260 --> 00:47:18,294 SEX SCENES IN TIMBER LANDS. IT'S REALLY SAD, MAN. >> A NEW TREND AMONG YOUNGER 1339 00:47:18,296 --> 00:47:20,195 IT'S REALLY SAD, MAN. >> A NEW TREND AMONG YOUNGER WORKERS IS BARE MONEY MAXIMUM 1340 00:47:20,197 --> 00:47:23,332 >> A NEW TREND AMONG YOUNGER WORKERS IS BARE MONEY MAXIMUM MONDAY, IN WHICH THEY DO AS 1341 00:47:23,334 --> 00:47:24,867 WORKERS IS BARE MONEY MAXIMUM MONDAY, IN WHICH THEY DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AT THE 1342 00:47:24,869 --> 00:47:26,335 MONDAY, IN WHICH THEY DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE WORK WEEK, 1343 00:47:26,337 --> 00:47:28,570 LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE WORK WEEK, WHILE A NEW TREND AMONG VETERANS 1344 00:47:28,572 --> 00:47:31,473 BEGINNING OF THE WORK WEEK, WHILE A NEW TREND AMONG VETERANS IS REALIZING THEIR SACRIFICE 1345 00:47:31,475 --> 00:47:32,408 WHILE A NEW TREND AMONG VETERANS IS REALIZING THEIR SACRIFICE MEANT NOTHING. 1346 00:47:32,410 --> 00:47:35,644 IS REALIZING THEIR SACRIFICE MEANT NOTHING. >> PEOPLE ARE REALIZING A CLAM 1347 00:47:35,646 --> 00:47:39,114 MEANT NOTHING. >> PEOPLE ARE REALIZING A CLAM THAT WAS BORN THE SAME YEAR AS 1348 00:47:39,116 --> 00:47:40,849 >> PEOPLE ARE REALIZING A CLAM THAT WAS BORN THE SAME YEAR AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 1349 00:47:40,851 --> 00:47:44,320 THAT WAS BORN THE SAME YEAR AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN. THE CLAM CREDITS ITS LONGEVITY 1350 00:47:44,322 --> 00:47:52,061 ABRAHAM LINCOLN. THE CLAM CREDITS ITS LONGEVITY TO STAYING AWAY FROM THE 1351 00:47:52,063 --> 00:47:52,394 THE CLAM CREDITS ITS LONGEVITY TO STAYING AWAY FROM THE THEATER. 1352 00:47:52,396 --> 00:47:53,095 TO STAYING AWAY FROM THE THEATER. >> SOME OWNERS OF McDONALD'S 1353 00:47:53,097 --> 00:47:53,829 THEATER. >> SOME OWNERS OF McDONALD'S FRANCHISES ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A 1354 00:47:53,831 --> 00:47:54,563 >> SOME OWNERS OF McDONALD'S FRANCHISES ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A CAMPAIGN PARTNERSHIP WITH CARDI 1355 00:47:54,565 --> 00:47:54,797 FRANCHISES ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A CAMPAIGN PARTNERSHIP WITH CARDI B. 1356 00:47:54,799 --> 00:47:55,497 CAMPAIGN PARTNERSHIP WITH CARDI B. ESPECIALLY THE ADD WHERE THEY 1357 00:47:55,499 --> 00:47:56,231 B. ESPECIALLY THE ADD WHERE THEY CLAIM THEIR BURGERS HAVE A WET 1358 00:47:56,233 --> 00:48:00,169 ESPECIALLY THE ADD WHERE THEY CLAIM THEIR BURGERS HAVE A WET ASS PATTY. 1359 00:48:00,171 --> 00:48:02,037 CLAIM THEIR BURGERS HAVE A WET ASS PATTY. >> WELL, USUALLY THIS DOESN'T GO 1360 00:48:02,039 --> 00:48:04,406 ASS PATTY. >> WELL, USUALLY THIS DOESN'T GO WELL FOR ME, BUT SINCE IT'S HER 1361 00:48:04,408 --> 00:48:05,841 >> WELL, USUALLY THIS DOESN'T GO WELL FOR ME, BUT SINCE IT'S HER BIRTHDAY IN THREE DAYS, WE 1362 00:48:05,843 --> 00:48:09,445 WELL FOR ME, BUT SINCE IT'S HER BIRTHDAY IN THREE DAYS, WE DECIDED TO LET HER DO IT. 1363 00:48:09,447 --> 00:48:13,015 BIRTHDAY IN THREE DAYS, WE DECIDED TO LET HER DO IT. HERE IS SARAH SHERMAN WITH THE 1364 00:48:13,017 --> 00:48:23,692 DECIDED TO LET HER DO IT. HERE IS SARAH SHERMAN WITH THE SARAH NEWS. 1365 00:48:23,694 --> 00:48:25,327 HERE IS SARAH SHERMAN WITH THE SARAH NEWS. >> THANKS, COLIN. 1366 00:48:25,329 --> 00:48:26,862 SARAH NEWS. >> THANKS, COLIN. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT. 1367 00:48:26,864 --> 00:48:27,997 >> THANKS, COLIN. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT. >> I'M SURE NOT. 1368 00:48:27,999 --> 00:48:30,766 I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT. >> I'M SURE NOT. >> IN SARAH NEWS, THIS WEEK, I'M 1369 00:48:30,768 --> 00:48:35,004 >> I'M SURE NOT. >> IN SARAH NEWS, THIS WEEK, I'M FINALLY TURNING 30, OR AS COLIN 1370 00:48:35,006 --> 00:48:37,339 >> IN SARAH NEWS, THIS WEEK, I'M FINALLY TURNING 30, OR AS COLIN CALLS IT, 15 YEARS TOO OLD. 1371 00:48:37,341 --> 00:48:38,574 FINALLY TURNING 30, OR AS COLIN CALLS IT, 15 YEARS TOO OLD. >> COME ON. 1372 00:48:38,576 --> 00:48:39,641 CALLS IT, 15 YEARS TOO OLD. >> COME ON. COME ON. 1373 00:48:39,643 --> 00:48:40,009 >> COME ON. COME ON. NO. 1374 00:48:40,011 --> 00:48:40,876 COME ON. NO. >> WHAT? 1375 00:48:40,878 --> 00:48:44,713 NO. >> WHAT? WHEN I INVITED YOU TO MY 1376 00:48:44,715 --> 00:48:48,684 >> WHAT? WHEN I INVITED YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU RSVP'd, I'M 1377 00:48:48,686 --> 00:48:51,353 WHEN I INVITED YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU RSVP'd, I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE UNLESS 1378 00:48:51,355 --> 00:48:52,921 BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU RSVP'd, I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE UNLESS IT'S A QUINCEANERA. 1379 00:48:52,923 --> 00:48:55,357 NOT GOING TO BE THERE UNLESS IT'S A QUINCEANERA. >> I DON'T GO TO QUINCEANERAS. 1380 00:48:55,359 --> 00:48:57,059 IT'S A QUINCEANERA. >> I DON'T GO TO QUINCEANERAS. >> OH, REALLY? 1381 00:48:57,061 --> 00:48:58,293 >> I DON'T GO TO QUINCEANERAS. >> OH, REALLY? THIS JUST IN. 1382 00:48:58,295 --> 00:49:01,296 >> OH, REALLY? THIS JUST IN. COLIN JOST REFUSES TO CELEBRATE 1383 00:49:01,298 --> 00:49:02,731 THIS JUST IN. COLIN JOST REFUSES TO CELEBRATE HISPANIC CULTURE. 1384 00:49:02,733 --> 00:49:05,534 COLIN JOST REFUSES TO CELEBRATE HISPANIC CULTURE. IN SCIENCE NEWS, NASA ENGINEERS 1385 00:49:05,536 --> 00:49:07,436 HISPANIC CULTURE. IN SCIENCE NEWS, NASA ENGINEERS PREPARING FOR A TRIP TO MARS 1386 00:49:07,438 --> 00:49:09,171 IN SCIENCE NEWS, NASA ENGINEERS PREPARING FOR A TRIP TO MARS RECENTLY SENT A TEAM OF 1387 00:49:09,173 --> 00:49:10,939 PREPARING FOR A TRIP TO MARS RECENTLY SENT A TEAM OF RESEARCHERS TO THE DRIEST PLACE 1388 00:49:10,941 --> 00:49:11,774 RECENTLY SENT A TEAM OF RESEARCHERS TO THE DRIEST PLACE ON EARTH. 1389 00:49:11,776 --> 00:49:14,143 RESEARCHERS TO THE DRIEST PLACE ON EARTH. SAID MY BOYFRIEND, HEY, GET OUT 1390 00:49:14,145 --> 00:49:17,012 ON EARTH. SAID MY BOYFRIEND, HEY, GET OUT OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S UNDERWEAR. 1391 00:49:17,014 --> 00:49:20,215 SAID MY BOYFRIEND, HEY, GET OUT OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S UNDERWEAR. GOOD LUCK DOWN THERE, BOYS. 1392 00:49:20,217 --> 00:49:24,920 OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S UNDERWEAR. GOOD LUCK DOWN THERE, BOYS. WE SALUTE YOU. 1393 00:49:24,922 --> 00:49:25,721 GOOD LUCK DOWN THERE, BOYS. WE SALUTE YOU. >> ALL RIGHT. 1394 00:49:25,723 --> 00:49:28,257 WE SALUTE YOU. >> ALL RIGHT. DO YOU HAVE ANY REAL NEWS, 1395 00:49:28,259 --> 00:49:28,557 >> ALL RIGHT. DO YOU HAVE ANY REAL NEWS, SARAH? 1396 00:49:28,559 --> 00:49:29,124 DO YOU HAVE ANY REAL NEWS, SARAH? >> OF COURSE. 1397 00:49:29,126 --> 00:49:32,094 SARAH? >> OF COURSE. THE U.S. IS FACING A THREAT FROM 1398 00:49:32,096 --> 00:49:34,463 >> OF COURSE. THE U.S. IS FACING A THREAT FROM A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BREED OF 1399 00:49:34,465 --> 00:49:37,132 THE U.S. IS FACING A THREAT FROM A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BREED OF PIG DUBBED THE SUPER PIG, WHICH 1400 00:49:37,134 --> 00:49:39,068 A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BREED OF PIG DUBBED THE SUPER PIG, WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE SUPER PIG IS 1401 00:49:39,070 --> 00:49:42,805 PIG DUBBED THE SUPER PIG, WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE SUPER PIG IS ALSO WHAT COLIN WRITES ON MY 1402 00:49:42,807 --> 00:49:43,839 IS FUNNY BECAUSE SUPER PIG IS ALSO WHAT COLIN WRITES ON MY DRESSING ROOM MIRROR ANY TIME HE 1403 00:49:43,841 --> 00:49:46,642 ALSO WHAT COLIN WRITES ON MY DRESSING ROOM MIRROR ANY TIME HE CATCHES ME EATING WITHOUT HIS 1404 00:49:46,644 --> 00:49:47,042 DRESSING ROOM MIRROR ANY TIME HE CATCHES ME EATING WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. 1405 00:49:47,044 --> 00:49:48,277 CATCHES ME EATING WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. >> I DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION 1406 00:49:48,279 --> 00:49:48,644 PERMISSION. >> I DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO EAT. 1407 00:49:48,646 --> 00:49:49,645 >> I DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO EAT. >> I KNOW. 1408 00:49:49,647 --> 00:49:51,747 TO EAT. >> I KNOW. ME AND ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE 1409 00:49:51,749 --> 00:49:52,915 >> I KNOW. ME AND ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE STARVING, COLIN. 1410 00:49:52,917 --> 00:49:56,785 ME AND ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE STARVING, COLIN. CAN'T YOU HEAR MY STOMACH 1411 00:49:56,787 --> 00:49:57,152 STARVING, COLIN. CAN'T YOU HEAR MY STOMACH GURGLING? 1412 00:49:57,154 --> 00:49:58,821 CAN'T YOU HEAR MY STOMACH GURGLING? >> YES, I CAN. 1413 00:49:58,823 --> 00:50:01,156 GURGLING? >> YES, I CAN. DO YOU HAVE LIKE A STOMACH ISSUE 1414 00:50:01,158 --> 00:50:01,723 >> YES, I CAN. DO YOU HAVE LIKE A STOMACH ISSUE OR SOMETHING? 1415 00:50:01,725 --> 00:50:04,059 DO YOU HAVE LIKE A STOMACH ISSUE OR SOMETHING? >> NO. 1416 00:50:04,061 --> 00:50:06,528 OR SOMETHING? >> NO. I'M JUST JEWISH, COLIN, WHICH 1417 00:50:06,530 --> 00:50:08,597 >> NO. I'M JUST JEWISH, COLIN, WHICH ISN'T A DISEASE, DESPITE WHAT 1418 00:50:08,599 --> 00:50:10,799 I'M JUST JEWISH, COLIN, WHICH ISN'T A DISEASE, DESPITE WHAT YOU WROTE IN YOUR BOOK. 1419 00:50:10,801 --> 00:50:12,301 ISN'T A DISEASE, DESPITE WHAT YOU WROTE IN YOUR BOOK. >> THAT'S CHAPTER ONE? 1420 00:50:12,303 --> 00:50:12,734 YOU WROTE IN YOUR BOOK. >> THAT'S CHAPTER ONE? COME ON. 1421 00:50:12,736 --> 00:50:15,037 >> THAT'S CHAPTER ONE? COME ON. >> IN OTHER NEWS, JUST THREE 1422 00:50:15,039 --> 00:50:17,940 COME ON. >> IN OTHER NEWS, JUST THREE WEEKS AFTER A CHEMICAL TRAIN 1423 00:50:17,942 --> 00:50:19,174 >> IN OTHER NEWS, JUST THREE WEEKS AFTER A CHEMICAL TRAIN DERAILMENT, OFFICIALS NOW SAY 1424 00:50:19,176 --> 00:50:26,415 WEEKS AFTER A CHEMICAL TRAIN DERAILMENT, OFFICIALS NOW SAY THE WATER IN EAST PALESTINE IS 1425 00:50:26,417 --> 00:50:26,849 DERAILMENT, OFFICIALS NOW SAY THE WATER IN EAST PALESTINE IS SAFE TO DRINK. 1426 00:50:26,851 --> 00:50:27,616 THE WATER IN EAST PALESTINE IS SAFE TO DRINK. YEAH, ABOUT AS SAFE AS ANY 1427 00:50:27,618 --> 00:50:29,885 SAFE TO DRINK. YEAH, ABOUT AS SAFE AS ANY COCKTAIL COLIN GETS ME AT AN 1428 00:50:29,887 --> 00:50:30,285 YEAH, ABOUT AS SAFE AS ANY COCKTAIL COLIN GETS ME AT AN AFTERPARTY. 1429 00:50:30,287 --> 00:50:32,354 COCKTAIL COLIN GETS ME AT AN AFTERPARTY. EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE 1430 00:50:32,356 --> 00:50:34,056 AFTERPARTY. EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM, MY DRINK IS FIZZING 1431 00:50:34,058 --> 00:50:36,391 EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM, MY DRINK IS FIZZING LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR VOLCANO. 1432 00:50:36,393 --> 00:50:38,427 BATHROOM, MY DRINK IS FIZZING LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR VOLCANO. >> MY FAMILY WATCHES THIS SHOW. 1433 00:50:38,429 --> 00:50:41,296 LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR VOLCANO. >> MY FAMILY WATCHES THIS SHOW. >> COLIN, SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING 1434 00:50:41,298 --> 00:50:43,966 >> MY FAMILY WATCHES THIS SHOW. >> COLIN, SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING TO LIFT UP THE BOTTOM OF MY PANT 1435 00:50:43,968 --> 00:50:45,801 >> COLIN, SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING TO LIFT UP THE BOTTOM OF MY PANT LEG WITH YOUR BARE FEET. 1436 00:50:45,803 --> 00:50:47,102 TO LIFT UP THE BOTTOM OF MY PANT LEG WITH YOUR BARE FEET. >> I'M WEARING SHOES. 1437 00:50:47,104 --> 00:50:49,605 LEG WITH YOUR BARE FEET. >> I'M WEARING SHOES. >> SHOES DON'T HAVE TOENAILS, 1438 00:50:49,607 --> 00:50:49,905 >> I'M WEARING SHOES. >> SHOES DON'T HAVE TOENAILS, COLIN. 1439 00:50:49,907 --> 00:50:53,208 >> SHOES DON'T HAVE TOENAILS, COLIN. IN OTHER NEWS, I JUST FOUND OUT 1440 00:50:53,210 --> 00:50:55,410 COLIN. IN OTHER NEWS, I JUST FOUND OUT PEACOCK IS STREAMING EVERY 1441 00:50:55,412 --> 00:50:59,314 IN OTHER NEWS, I JUST FOUND OUT PEACOCK IS STREAMING EVERY EPISODE OF COLUMBO FEATURING 1442 00:50:59,316 --> 00:51:03,218 PEACOCK IS STREAMING EVERY EPISODE OF COLUMBO FEATURING GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, PETER 1443 00:51:03,220 --> 00:51:03,519 EPISODE OF COLUMBO FEATURING GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, PETER FAULK. 1444 00:51:03,521 --> 00:51:06,355 GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, PETER FAULK. OH, MY GOD, AN OLD GUY WITH A 1445 00:51:06,357 --> 00:51:09,525 FAULK. OH, MY GOD, AN OLD GUY WITH A LOOSE EYEBALL AND RESTING CIGAR 1446 00:51:09,527 --> 00:51:09,825 OH, MY GOD, AN OLD GUY WITH A LOOSE EYEBALL AND RESTING CIGAR FACE. 1447 00:51:09,827 --> 00:51:11,894 LOOSE EYEBALL AND RESTING CIGAR FACE. MAYBE HE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERY 1448 00:51:11,896 --> 00:51:14,396 FACE. MAYBE HE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF MY SOPPING WET CHAIR. 1449 00:51:14,398 --> 00:51:16,131 MAYBE HE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF MY SOPPING WET CHAIR. GET TO THE HIGH GROUNDS, THE 1450 00:51:16,133 --> 00:51:18,800 OF MY SOPPING WET CHAIR. GET TO THE HIGH GROUNDS, THE LEVY IS BROKE AND THE CITY IS 1451 00:51:18,802 --> 00:51:19,168 GET TO THE HIGH GROUNDS, THE LEVY IS BROKE AND THE CITY IS FLOODED. 1452 00:51:19,170 --> 00:51:21,003 LEVY IS BROKE AND THE CITY IS FLOODED. >> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. 1453 00:51:21,005 --> 00:51:23,672 FLOODED. >> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. WELL, SARAH, IT IS YOUR 1454 00:51:23,674 --> 00:51:25,040 >> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. WELL, SARAH, IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE'VE DECIDED TO 1455 00:51:25,042 --> 00:51:28,510 WELL, SARAH, IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE'VE DECIDED TO GET YOU A VERY SARAH-STYLE 1456 00:51:28,512 --> 00:51:29,578 BIRTHDAY, SO WE'VE DECIDED TO GET YOU A VERY SARAH-STYLE BIRTHDAY CAKE. 1457 00:51:29,580 --> 00:51:31,547 GET YOU A VERY SARAH-STYLE BIRTHDAY CAKE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH. 1458 00:51:31,549 --> 00:51:33,215 BIRTHDAY CAKE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH. >> OH, LOOK. 1459 00:51:33,217 --> 00:51:34,049 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH. >> OH, LOOK. THANKS, COLIN. 1460 00:51:34,051 --> 00:51:36,218 >> OH, LOOK. THANKS, COLIN. AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU SO 1461 00:51:36,220 --> 00:51:38,020 THANKS, COLIN. AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CARD YOU MADE ME, 1462 00:51:38,022 --> 00:51:38,353 AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CARD YOU MADE ME, COLIN. 1463 00:51:38,355 --> 00:51:41,223 MUCH FOR THE CARD YOU MADE ME, COLIN. >> OH, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING 1464 00:51:41,225 --> 00:51:41,557 COLIN. >> OH, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING A CARD. 1465 00:51:41,559 --> 00:51:42,724 >> OH, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING A CARD. >> GO AHEAD. 1466 00:51:42,726 --> 00:51:45,627 A CARD. >> GO AHEAD. READ YOUR BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO ME 1467 00:51:45,629 --> 00:51:46,094 >> GO AHEAD. READ YOUR BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO ME THAT YOU WROTE. 1468 00:51:46,096 --> 00:51:48,730 READ YOUR BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO ME THAT YOU WROTE. >> SARAH, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T EAT 1469 00:51:48,732 --> 00:51:51,200 THAT YOU WROTE. >> SARAH, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T EAT THIS CAKE SINCE YOU FAILED WEIGH 1470 00:51:51,202 --> 00:51:51,466 >> SARAH, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T EAT THIS CAKE SINCE YOU FAILED WEIGH IN. 1471 00:51:51,468 --> 00:51:55,337 THIS CAKE SINCE YOU FAILED WEIGH IN. SARAH ERMAN, EVERYONE. 1472 00:51:55,339 --> 00:51:57,773 IN. SARAH ERMAN, EVERYONE. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN 1473 00:51:57,775 --> 00:51:58,073 SARAH ERMAN, EVERYONE. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN JOST. 1474 00:51:58,075 --> 00:52:01,643 FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN JOST. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE, GOOD NIGHT! 1475 00:52:26,736 --> 00:52:30,172 >>> THANKS FOR MAKING THE TRIP, KIDS. >> WELL, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS AN 1476 00:52:30,174 --> 00:52:30,839 KIDS. >> WELL, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY, WE FLEW IN RIGHT 1477 00:52:30,841 --> 00:52:33,375 >> WELL, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY, WE FLEW IN RIGHT AWAY. 1478 00:52:33,377 --> 00:52:34,076 EMERGENCY, WE FLEW IN RIGHT AWAY. >> YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKING US 1479 00:52:34,078 --> 00:52:37,079 AWAY. >> YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKING US OUT. 1480 00:52:37,081 --> 00:52:38,747 >> YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKING US OUT. ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? 1481 00:52:38,749 --> 00:52:40,282 OUT. ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? >> OH, WE ARE BETTER THAN OKAY. 1482 00:52:40,284 --> 00:52:41,016 ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? >> OH, WE ARE BETTER THAN OKAY. >> TRUTH IS, WE HAD A HARD TIME 1483 00:52:41,018 --> 00:52:41,717 >> OH, WE ARE BETTER THAN OKAY. >> TRUTH IS, WE HAD A HARD TIME FIGURING OUT HOW TO BREAK THE 1484 00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:42,017 >> TRUTH IS, WE HAD A HARD TIME FIGURING OUT HOW TO BREAK THE NEWS. 1485 00:52:42,019 --> 00:52:42,884 FIGURING OUT HOW TO BREAK THE NEWS. >> THAT'S WHAT THE SONG IS FOR. 1486 00:52:42,886 --> 00:52:43,952 NEWS. >> THAT'S WHAT THE SONG IS FOR. >> THE SONG? 1487 00:52:43,954 --> 00:52:45,587 >> THAT'S WHAT THE SONG IS FOR. >> THE SONG? >> I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE A LOT 1488 00:52:45,589 --> 00:52:46,288 >> THE SONG? >> I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, BUT DON'T WORRY. 1489 00:52:46,290 --> 00:52:46,855 >> I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, BUT DON'T WORRY. THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN 1490 00:52:46,857 --> 00:53:02,304 OF QUESTIONS, BUT DON'T WORRY. THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. 1491 00:53:02,306 --> 00:53:03,372 THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. ♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE, I'M 1492 00:53:03,374 --> 00:53:04,106 EVERYTHING. ♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE, I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR THE TIMES WE'VE 1493 00:53:04,108 --> 00:53:11,446 ♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE, I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR THE TIMES WE'VE HAD ♪ 1494 00:53:11,448 --> 00:53:13,615 SO GRATEFUL FOR THE TIMES WE'VE HAD ♪ ♪ A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, OUR 1495 00:53:13,617 --> 00:53:16,284 HAD ♪ ♪ A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, OUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN, A THOUSAND 1496 00:53:16,286 --> 00:53:20,122 ♪ A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, OUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN, A THOUSAND MEMORIES GOOD AND BAD ♪ 1497 00:53:20,124 --> 00:53:24,926 WONDERFUL CHILDREN, A THOUSAND MEMORIES GOOD AND BAD ♪ ♪ BUT WE HAVE BEEN DRIFTING 1498 00:53:24,928 --> 00:53:30,465 MEMORIES GOOD AND BAD ♪ ♪ BUT WE HAVE BEEN DRIFTING APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, EVEN 1499 00:53:30,467 --> 00:53:33,135 ♪ BUT WE HAVE BEEN DRIFTING APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, EVEN THOUGH WE STILL LOVE EACH 1500 00:53:33,137 --> 00:53:33,502 APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, EVEN THOUGH WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER ♪ 1501 00:53:33,504 --> 00:53:35,804 THOUGH WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER ♪ ♪ AND NOW SHE'S GIVING OUR BED 1502 00:53:35,806 --> 00:53:39,074 OTHER ♪ ♪ AND NOW SHE'S GIVING OUR BED TO ANOTHER, BUT I'M COOL WITH 1503 00:53:39,076 --> 00:53:40,709 ♪ AND NOW SHE'S GIVING OUR BED TO ANOTHER, BUT I'M COOL WITH IT, AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM 1504 00:53:40,711 --> 00:53:43,412 TO ANOTHER, BUT I'M COOL WITH IT, AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ 1505 00:53:43,414 --> 00:53:44,146 IT, AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> WAIT, MOM, YOU'RE CHEATING ON 1506 00:53:44,148 --> 00:53:48,016 THE CORNER ♪ >> WAIT, MOM, YOU'RE CHEATING ON DAD? 1507 00:53:48,018 --> 00:53:48,717 >> WAIT, MOM, YOU'RE CHEATING ON DAD? >> GOD, NO. 1508 00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:49,451 DAD? >> GOD, NO. DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE PART WHERE 1509 00:53:49,453 --> 00:53:50,285 >> GOD, NO. DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE PART WHERE HE SAID HE'S COOL WITH IT? 1510 00:53:50,287 --> 00:53:51,353 DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE PART WHERE HE SAID HE'S COOL WITH IT? >> I BELIEVE MY EXACT WORDS WERE 1511 00:53:51,355 --> 00:53:52,054 HE SAID HE'S COOL WITH IT? >> I BELIEVE MY EXACT WORDS WERE I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH. 1512 00:53:52,056 --> 00:53:55,657 >> I BELIEVE MY EXACT WORDS WERE I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH. ♪ I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ 1513 00:53:55,659 --> 00:53:57,225 I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH. ♪ I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> WELL, WHO'S THE OTHER MAN? 1514 00:53:57,227 --> 00:53:58,326 ♪ I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> WELL, WHO'S THE OTHER MAN? >> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WOULD 1515 00:53:58,328 --> 00:54:02,030 >> WELL, WHO'S THE OTHER MAN? >> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WOULD GUESS IT'S THE GUY SITTING 1516 00:54:02,032 --> 00:54:04,132 >> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WOULD GUESS IT'S THE GUY SITTING IN DAD'S CHAIR PLAYING STREETS 1517 00:54:04,134 --> 00:54:06,034 GUESS IT'S THE GUY SITTING IN DAD'S CHAIR PLAYING STREETS OF RAGE TWO. 1518 00:54:06,036 --> 00:54:06,968 IN DAD'S CHAIR PLAYING STREETS OF RAGE TWO. >> WHAT UP? 1519 00:54:06,970 --> 00:54:08,503 OF RAGE TWO. >> WHAT UP? >> I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. 1520 00:54:08,505 --> 00:54:09,237 >> WHAT UP? >> I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. >> WELL, I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID 1521 00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:10,672 >> I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. >> WELL, I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT. 1522 00:54:10,674 --> 00:54:16,044 >> WELL, I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT. >> BECAUSE NEXT PART OF THE SONI 1523 00:54:16,046 --> 00:54:19,815 THAT. >> BECAUSE NEXT PART OF THE SONI ♪ HIS NAME IS SUCRE, AND HE'S A 1524 00:54:19,817 --> 00:54:21,983 >> BECAUSE NEXT PART OF THE SONI ♪ HIS NAME IS SUCRE, AND HE'S A FELON, HE'S EXPLORED MY WHOLE 1525 00:54:21,985 --> 00:54:25,220 ♪ HIS NAME IS SUCRE, AND HE'S A FELON, HE'S EXPLORED MY WHOLE BODY LIKE MAGELLAN ♪ 1526 00:54:25,222 --> 00:54:27,355 FELON, HE'S EXPLORED MY WHOLE BODY LIKE MAGELLAN ♪ ♪ HE PLAYS STREETS OF RAGE TWO 1527 00:54:27,357 --> 00:54:28,457 BODY LIKE MAGELLAN ♪ ♪ HE PLAYS STREETS OF RAGE TWO AND THEN HE PLEASURES ME IN 1528 00:54:28,459 --> 00:54:31,159 ♪ HE PLAYS STREETS OF RAGE TWO AND THEN HE PLEASURES ME IN BED ♪ 1529 00:54:31,161 --> 00:54:39,000 AND THEN HE PLEASURES ME IN BED ♪ ♪ AND I'M COOL WITH IT AND I 1530 00:54:39,002 --> 00:54:40,435 BED ♪ ♪ AND I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ 1531 00:54:40,437 --> 00:54:41,169 ♪ AND I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE 1532 00:54:41,171 --> 00:54:41,970 WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO PUMPED ABOUT WATCHING FROM 1533 00:54:41,972 --> 00:54:43,038 >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO PUMPED ABOUT WATCHING FROM THE CORNER. 1534 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,106 SO PUMPED ABOUT WATCHING FROM THE CORNER. >> AND I'M SORRY. 1535 00:54:44,108 --> 00:54:47,342 THE CORNER. >> AND I'M SORRY. HIS NAME IS SUCRE? 1536 00:54:47,344 --> 00:54:50,011 >> AND I'M SORRY. HIS NAME IS SUCRE? >> YEAH, SUCRE WOLODARSKY. 1537 00:54:50,013 --> 00:54:53,749 HIS NAME IS SUCRE? >> YEAH, SUCRE WOLODARSKY. >> SO, WHAT, YOU'RE IN A 1538 00:54:53,751 --> 00:54:54,449 >> YEAH, SUCRE WOLODARSKY. >> SO, WHAT, YOU'RE IN A THROUPLE NOW WITH A MAN NAMED 1539 00:54:54,451 --> 00:54:57,018 >> SO, WHAT, YOU'RE IN A THROUPLE NOW WITH A MAN NAMED SUCRE WOLODARSKY? 1540 00:54:57,020 --> 00:54:58,053 THROUPLE NOW WITH A MAN NAMED SUCRE WOLODARSKY? >> DAMN, YOU GUYS ARE BEING MAD 1541 00:54:58,055 --> 00:54:59,688 SUCRE WOLODARSKY? >> DAMN, YOU GUYS ARE BEING MAD ANNOYING RIGHT NOW. 1542 00:54:59,690 --> 00:55:00,756 >> DAMN, YOU GUYS ARE BEING MAD ANNOYING RIGHT NOW. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOUR PARENTS 1543 00:55:00,758 --> 00:55:02,390 ANNOYING RIGHT NOW. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOUR PARENTS HAVE TO SAY THIS? 1544 00:55:02,392 --> 00:55:07,262 HOW MANY TIMES DO YOUR PARENTS HAVE TO SAY THIS? THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG WILL 1545 00:55:07,264 --> 00:55:08,396 HAVE TO SAY THIS? THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. 1546 00:55:08,398 --> 00:55:10,866 THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. >> THANK YOU, SUCRE. 1547 00:55:10,868 --> 00:55:13,635 EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. >> THANK YOU, SUCRE. >> AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT HAPPY 1548 00:55:13,637 --> 00:55:15,103 >> THANK YOU, SUCRE. >> AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT HAPPY I HAD TO STOP JUST NOW. 1549 00:55:15,105 --> 00:55:16,071 >> AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT HAPPY I HAD TO STOP JUST NOW. YOU DISTRACTED ME SO BADLY THAT 1550 00:55:16,073 --> 00:55:20,475 I HAD TO STOP JUST NOW. YOU DISTRACTED ME SO BADLY THAT A GUY WITH A MOHAWK PUNCHED ME 1551 00:55:20,477 --> 00:55:23,278 YOU DISTRACTED ME SO BADLY THAT A GUY WITH A MOHAWK PUNCHED ME AND MY HEALTH WENT DOWN. 1552 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:23,945 A GUY WITH A MOHAWK PUNCHED ME AND MY HEALTH WENT DOWN. >> I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD 1553 00:55:23,947 --> 00:55:24,780 AND MY HEALTH WENT DOWN. >> I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO SUCRE ABOUT THAT. 1554 00:55:24,782 --> 00:55:28,450 >> I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO SUCRE ABOUT THAT. >> I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO SUCRE. 1555 00:55:28,452 --> 00:55:29,518 APOLOGIZE TO SUCRE ABOUT THAT. >> I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO SUCRE. YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US WHAT 1556 00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:29,885 >> I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO SUCRE. YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. 1557 00:55:29,887 --> 00:55:30,619 YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. >> WE'RE TRYING TO, BUT YOU GUYS 1558 00:55:30,621 --> 00:55:31,453 HAPPENED. >> WE'RE TRYING TO, BUT YOU GUYS KEEP INTERRUPTING. 1559 00:55:31,455 --> 00:55:32,154 >> WE'RE TRYING TO, BUT YOU GUYS KEEP INTERRUPTING. >> THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG 1560 00:55:32,156 --> 00:55:41,663 KEEP INTERRUPTING. >> THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG REALLY SPELLS THINGS OUT. 1561 00:55:41,665 --> 00:55:42,330 >> THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG REALLY SPELLS THINGS OUT. MY NAME'S SPELLED S-U-C-R-E 1562 00:55:42,332 --> 00:55:45,267 REALLY SPELLS THINGS OUT. MY NAME'S SPELLED S-U-C-R-E W-O-L-O-D-ARSKY, 1563 00:55:45,269 --> 00:55:47,469 MY NAME'S SPELLED S-U-C-R-E W-O-L-O-D-ARSKY, >> THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME WAS 1564 00:55:47,471 --> 00:55:48,837 W-O-L-O-D-ARSKY, >> THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME WAS NOT THE PART WE WERE CONFUSED 1565 00:55:48,839 --> 00:55:49,137 >> THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME WAS NOT THE PART WE WERE CONFUSED ABOUT. 1566 00:55:49,139 --> 00:55:49,805 NOT THE PART WE WERE CONFUSED ABOUT. >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 1567 00:55:49,807 --> 00:55:50,272 ABOUT. >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? >> YES, SUCRE. 1568 00:55:50,274 --> 00:55:52,541 >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? >> YES, SUCRE. >> HOW ARE THESE THREE YOUR 1569 00:55:52,543 --> 00:55:53,108 >> YES, SUCRE. >> HOW ARE THESE THREE YOUR KIDS? 1570 00:55:53,110 --> 00:55:54,176 >> HOW ARE THESE THREE YOUR KIDS? >> WELL, I WAS ON TOP FOR HIM. 1571 00:55:54,178 --> 00:55:54,876 KIDS? >> WELL, I WAS ON TOP FOR HIM. >> YEAH, AND I WAS ON TOP FOR 1572 00:55:54,878 --> 00:55:57,379 >> WELL, I WAS ON TOP FOR HIM. >> YEAH, AND I WAS ON TOP FOR HER. 1573 00:55:57,381 --> 00:55:58,113 >> YEAH, AND I WAS ON TOP FOR HER. >> THEN WE DID IT FROM THE SIDE 1574 00:55:58,115 --> 00:56:01,149 HER. >> THEN WE DID IT FROM THE SIDE ONE TIME, AND HE CAME OUT. 1575 00:56:01,151 --> 00:56:02,751 >> THEN WE DID IT FROM THE SIDE ONE TIME, AND HE CAME OUT. >> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. 1576 00:56:02,753 --> 00:56:03,451 ONE TIME, AND HE CAME OUT. >> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. >> LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS. 1577 00:56:03,453 --> 00:56:07,522 >> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. >> LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS. YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT. 1578 00:56:07,524 --> 00:56:09,591 >> LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS. YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU 1579 00:56:09,593 --> 00:56:12,460 YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THE GRAND KIDS' 1580 00:56:12,462 --> 00:56:12,894 I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THE GRAND KIDS' COLLEGE FUND. 1581 00:56:12,896 --> 00:56:13,328 DIDN'T TOUCH THE GRAND KIDS' COLLEGE FUND. >> OF COURSE. 1582 00:56:13,330 --> 00:56:14,062 COLLEGE FUND. >> OF COURSE. WE GO OVER THAT IN THIS NEXT 1583 00:56:14,064 --> 00:56:14,563 >> OF COURSE. WE GO OVER THAT IN THIS NEXT PART. 1584 00:56:14,565 --> 00:56:17,265 WE GO OVER THAT IN THIS NEXT PART. ♪ 1585 00:56:17,267 --> 00:56:19,434 PART. ♪ ♪ 1586 00:56:19,436 --> 00:56:31,279 ♪ ♪ ♪ 1587 00:56:31,281 --> 00:56:36,117 ♪ ♪ ♪ THE MONEY'S ALL GONE NOW ♪ 1588 00:56:36,119 --> 00:56:36,785 ♪ ♪ THE MONEY'S ALL GONE NOW ♪ >> YOU GAVE ALL THE COLLEGE 1589 00:56:36,787 --> 00:56:38,753 ♪ THE MONEY'S ALL GONE NOW ♪ >> YOU GAVE ALL THE COLLEGE MONEY TO SUCRE? 1590 00:56:38,755 --> 00:56:39,821 >> YOU GAVE ALL THE COLLEGE MONEY TO SUCRE? >> SUCRE THIS, SUCRE THAT. 1591 00:56:39,823 --> 00:56:40,555 MONEY TO SUCRE? >> SUCRE THIS, SUCRE THAT. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE GUITAR 1592 00:56:40,557 --> 00:56:44,860 >> SUCRE THIS, SUCRE THAT. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE GUITAR SOLO? 1593 00:56:44,862 --> 00:56:46,361 WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE GUITAR SOLO? >> THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. 1594 00:56:46,363 --> 00:56:47,095 SOLO? >> THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. >> GUYS, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO 1595 00:56:47,097 --> 00:56:47,796 >> THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. >> GUYS, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN, BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD 1596 00:56:47,798 --> 00:56:52,033 >> GUYS, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN, BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS. 1597 00:56:52,035 --> 00:56:54,035 TAKE IN, BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS. I JUST BEAT STREETS OF RAGE TWO. 1598 00:56:54,037 --> 00:56:56,905 NEWS. I JUST BEAT STREETS OF RAGE TWO. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 1599 00:56:56,907 --> 00:56:59,441 I JUST BEAT STREETS OF RAGE TWO. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. >> SUCRE. 1600 00:56:59,443 --> 00:57:03,678 THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. >> SUCRE. >> ALSO, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT 1601 00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:05,780 >> SUCRE. >> ALSO, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I'M 1602 00:57:05,782 --> 00:57:06,147 >> ALSO, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I'M PREGNANT. 1603 00:57:06,149 --> 00:57:08,917 I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I'M PREGNANT. >> SUCRE! 1604 00:57:08,919 --> 00:57:09,584 PREGNANT. >> SUCRE! ♪ AND I WATCHED FROM THE 1605 00:57:09,586 --> 00:57:24,499 >> SUCRE! ♪ AND I WATCHED FROM THE CORNER ♪ 1606 00:57:24,501 --> 00:57:25,233 ♪ AND I WATCHED FROM THE CORNER ♪ >>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST DID 1607 00:57:25,235 --> 00:57:25,533 CORNER ♪ >>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST DID THAT. 1608 00:57:25,535 --> 00:57:26,268 >>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST DID THAT. EVERY TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN, YOU 1609 00:57:26,270 --> 00:57:26,968 THAT. EVERY TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN, YOU SUCK ME BACK IN. 1610 00:57:26,970 --> 00:57:27,669 EVERY TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN, YOU SUCK ME BACK IN. >> IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT 1611 00:57:27,671 --> 00:57:30,238 SUCK ME BACK IN. >> IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, BABY. 1612 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,840 >> IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, BABY. >> GOD, YOU KNOW, I BAILED ON A 1613 00:57:31,842 --> 00:57:34,009 FOR EACH OTHER, BABY. >> GOD, YOU KNOW, I BAILED ON A DATE TONIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU? 1614 00:57:34,011 --> 00:57:35,644 >> GOD, YOU KNOW, I BAILED ON A DATE TONIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU? >> OH, YOUR BAD. 1615 00:57:35,646 --> 00:57:36,711 DATE TONIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU? >> OH, YOUR BAD. NOW, COME ON. 1616 00:57:36,713 --> 00:57:38,280 >> OH, YOUR BAD. NOW, COME ON. SHOULD I MAKE SOME PANCAKES? 1617 00:57:38,282 --> 00:57:42,050 NOW, COME ON. SHOULD I MAKE SOME PANCAKES? DADDY'S SPECIAL RECIPE. 1618 00:57:42,052 --> 00:57:43,652 SHOULD I MAKE SOME PANCAKES? DADDY'S SPECIAL RECIPE. >> HEY. 1619 00:57:43,654 --> 00:57:46,321 DADDY'S SPECIAL RECIPE. >> HEY. >> OH, MY GOD! 1620 00:57:46,323 --> 00:57:48,456 >> HEY. >> OH, MY GOD! >> WHAT'S UP? 1621 00:57:48,458 --> 00:57:49,124 >> OH, MY GOD! >> WHAT'S UP? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY 1622 00:57:49,126 --> 00:57:50,091 >> WHAT'S UP? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? 1623 00:57:50,093 --> 00:57:53,295 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? >> WHO IS THAT? 1624 00:57:53,297 --> 00:57:59,868 HOUSE? >> WHO IS THAT? >> I'M GARRETT FROM HINGE. 1625 00:57:59,870 --> 00:58:05,340 >> WHO IS THAT? >> I'M GARRETT FROM HINGE. WE HAD PLANS FOR 7:00 AT 1626 00:58:05,342 --> 00:58:05,740 >> I'M GARRETT FROM HINGE. WE HAD PLANS FOR 7:00 AT BUCCACINOS. 1627 00:58:05,742 --> 00:58:06,074 WE HAD PLANS FOR 7:00 AT BUCCACINOS. >> WHAT? 1628 00:58:06,076 --> 00:58:06,808 BUCCACINOS. >> WHAT? KYRA, THIS IS THE GUY YOU BLEW 1629 00:58:06,810 --> 00:58:07,075 >> WHAT? KYRA, THIS IS THE GUY YOU BLEW OFF? 1630 00:58:07,077 --> 00:58:07,509 KYRA, THIS IS THE GUY YOU BLEW OFF? >> AFRAID SO. 1631 00:58:07,511 --> 00:58:08,243 OFF? >> AFRAID SO. NOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE IN BED 1632 00:58:08,245 --> 00:58:08,977 >> AFRAID SO. NOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE IN BED WITH LIKE A HEMSWORTH BROTHER I 1633 00:58:08,979 --> 00:58:10,011 NOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE IN BED WITH LIKE A HEMSWORTH BROTHER I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT? 1634 00:58:10,013 --> 00:58:10,745 WITH LIKE A HEMSWORTH BROTHER I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT? HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME 1635 00:58:10,747 --> 00:58:12,681 DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT? HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL? 1636 00:58:12,683 --> 00:58:13,348 HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL? >> DUDE, YOU BROKE INTO MY 1637 00:58:13,350 --> 00:58:14,282 FEEL? >> DUDE, YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE. 1638 00:58:14,284 --> 00:58:16,451 >> DUDE, YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. 1639 00:58:16,453 --> 00:58:18,053 HOUSE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. >> YEAH, YOU DO. 1640 00:58:18,055 --> 00:58:24,359 I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. >> YEAH, YOU DO. I'M GARRETT, FROM HINGE. 1641 00:58:24,361 --> 00:58:26,628 >> YEAH, YOU DO. I'M GARRETT, FROM HINGE. AKA THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN 1642 00:58:26,630 --> 00:58:27,362 I'M GARRETT, FROM HINGE. AKA THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN WAITING FOR YOU AT BUCCACINO'S 1643 00:58:27,364 --> 00:58:27,996 AKA THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN WAITING FOR YOU AT BUCCACINO'S LIKE SOME KIND OF SUCKA. 1644 00:58:27,998 --> 00:58:28,596 WAITING FOR YOU AT BUCCACINO'S LIKE SOME KIND OF SUCKA. >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 1645 00:58:28,598 --> 00:58:28,997 LIKE SOME KIND OF SUCKA. >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? LEAVE. 1646 00:58:28,999 --> 00:58:30,165 >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? LEAVE. >> GOD, THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING. 1647 00:58:30,167 --> 00:58:33,969 LEAVE. >> GOD, THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING. I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 1648 00:58:33,971 --> 00:58:37,072 >> GOD, THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING. I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE CAN 1649 00:58:37,074 --> 00:58:38,406 I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE CAN FIGURE THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? 1650 00:58:38,408 --> 00:58:42,711 AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE CAN FIGURE THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? 1651 00:58:42,713 --> 00:58:43,411 FIGURE THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? >> THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE 1652 00:58:43,413 --> 00:58:43,778 THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? >> THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE OUT. 1653 00:58:43,780 --> 00:58:44,846 >> THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE OUT. WE GOT TO CALL THE COPS. 1654 00:58:44,848 --> 00:58:45,413 OUT. WE GOT TO CALL THE COPS. >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T. 1655 00:58:45,415 --> 00:58:46,481 WE GOT TO CALL THE COPS. >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. 1656 00:58:46,483 --> 00:58:50,518 >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE STATE 1657 00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,153 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE STATE BECAUSE OF MY PAROL. 1658 00:58:52,155 --> 00:58:54,322 I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE STATE BECAUSE OF MY PAROL. >> WAIT, WHAT PAROL? 1659 00:58:54,324 --> 00:58:55,056 BECAUSE OF MY PAROL. >> WAIT, WHAT PAROL? >> GARRETT, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS 1660 00:58:55,058 --> 00:58:55,790 >> WAIT, WHAT PAROL? >> GARRETT, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT, AND THAT'S HARD, BUT 1661 00:58:55,792 --> 00:58:56,524 >> GARRETT, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT, AND THAT'S HARD, BUT NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CANNOT KILL 1662 00:58:56,526 --> 00:58:56,925 ARE HURT, AND THAT'S HARD, BUT NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CANNOT KILL THEM. 1663 00:58:56,927 --> 00:58:57,492 NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CANNOT KILL THEM. OKAY. 1664 00:58:57,494 --> 00:59:02,564 THEM. OKAY. I'M BACK 1665 00:59:02,566 --> 00:59:05,433 OKAY. I'M BACK I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT 1666 00:59:05,435 --> 00:59:08,069 I'M BACK I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT IT, AND I'M OPEN TO BEING A 1667 00:59:08,071 --> 00:59:08,503 I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT IT, AND I'M OPEN TO BEING A THROUPLE. 1668 00:59:08,505 --> 00:59:09,237 IT, AND I'M OPEN TO BEING A THROUPLE. >> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, 1669 00:59:09,239 --> 00:59:11,206 THROUPLE. >> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, GARRETT. 1670 00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:14,776 >> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, GARRETT. >> KYRA, YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE 1671 00:59:14,778 --> 00:59:16,578 GARRETT. >> KYRA, YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN ABSOLUTE SUCKA. 1672 00:59:16,580 --> 00:59:17,312 >> KYRA, YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN ABSOLUTE SUCKA. I MEAN, I LEFT EARLY FROM WORK 1673 00:59:17,314 --> 00:59:17,712 AN ABSOLUTE SUCKA. I MEAN, I LEFT EARLY FROM WORK TO CHANGE. 1674 00:59:17,714 --> 00:59:18,446 I MEAN, I LEFT EARLY FROM WORK TO CHANGE. >> YOU CHANGED INTO THAT STEWIE 1675 00:59:18,448 --> 00:59:21,983 TO CHANGE. >> YOU CHANGED INTO THAT STEWIE GRIFFIN T-SHIRT? 1676 00:59:21,985 --> 00:59:26,654 >> YOU CHANGED INTO THAT STEWIE GRIFFIN T-SHIRT? >> CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, 1677 00:59:26,656 --> 00:59:29,591 GRIFFIN T-SHIRT? >> CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, KYRA, IF YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY 1678 00:59:29,593 --> 00:59:33,094 >> CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, KYRA, IF YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, MAYBE DON'T BE ON THE 1679 00:59:33,096 --> 00:59:33,495 KYRA, IF YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, MAYBE DON'T BE ON THE APPS, RIGHT? 1680 00:59:33,497 --> 00:59:33,962 AVAILABLE, MAYBE DON'T BE ON THE APPS, RIGHT? >> OH, MY GOD. 1681 00:59:33,964 --> 00:59:34,662 APPS, RIGHT? >> OH, MY GOD. >> ESPECIALLY HINGE, BECAUSE 1682 00:59:34,664 --> 00:59:35,397 >> OH, MY GOD. >> ESPECIALLY HINGE, BECAUSE HINGE IS THE APP THAT'S DESIGNED 1683 00:59:35,399 --> 00:59:35,964 >> ESPECIALLY HINGE, BECAUSE HINGE IS THE APP THAT'S DESIGNED TO BE DELETED, RIGHT? 1684 00:59:35,966 --> 00:59:36,698 HINGE IS THE APP THAT'S DESIGNED TO BE DELETED, RIGHT? >> WILL YOU STOP MAKING THE SAME 1685 00:59:36,700 --> 00:59:37,966 TO BE DELETED, RIGHT? >> WILL YOU STOP MAKING THE SAME POSE AS YOUR SHIRT. 1686 00:59:37,968 --> 00:59:40,135 >> WILL YOU STOP MAKING THE SAME POSE AS YOUR SHIRT. >> OH, KYRA, KYRA, KYRA. 1687 00:59:40,137 --> 00:59:41,736 POSE AS YOUR SHIRT. >> OH, KYRA, KYRA, KYRA. WANT A LITTLE FOOT RUB? 1688 00:59:41,738 --> 00:59:43,371 >> OH, KYRA, KYRA, KYRA. WANT A LITTLE FOOT RUB? >> NO. 1689 00:59:43,373 --> 00:59:47,075 WANT A LITTLE FOOT RUB? >> NO. DON'T RUB MY FOOT! 1690 00:59:47,077 --> 00:59:49,511 >> NO. DON'T RUB MY FOOT! >> HEY, IT'S JUST ME, GARRETT 1691 00:59:49,513 --> 00:59:50,211 DON'T RUB MY FOOT! >> HEY, IT'S JUST ME, GARRETT FROM HINGE. 1692 00:59:50,213 --> 00:59:52,180 >> HEY, IT'S JUST ME, GARRETT FROM HINGE. THE DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO 1693 00:59:52,182 --> 00:59:53,581 FROM HINGE. THE DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE DATING APPS. 1694 00:59:53,583 --> 00:59:55,250 THE DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE DATING APPS. >> DO YOU LIKE WORK FOR HINGE? 1695 00:59:55,252 --> 00:59:58,686 HATE DATING APPS. >> DO YOU LIKE WORK FOR HINGE? >> HEY, THIS LITTLE PIGGY LEFT 1696 00:59:58,688 --> 01:00:00,789 >> DO YOU LIKE WORK FOR HINGE? >> HEY, THIS LITTLE PIGGY LEFT ME AT BUCCACINOS. 1697 01:00:00,791 --> 01:00:01,222 >> HEY, THIS LITTLE PIGGY LEFT ME AT BUCCACINOS. >> STOP! 1698 01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:02,590 ME AT BUCCACINOS. >> STOP! >> OH, MY GOD. 1699 01:00:02,592 --> 01:00:04,526 >> STOP! >> OH, MY GOD. I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM 1700 01:00:04,528 --> 01:00:07,228 >> OH, MY GOD. I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM AGAIN, AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE 1701 01:00:07,230 --> 01:00:09,364 I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM AGAIN, AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE THIS AWKWARD, PLUS COULD YOU 1702 01:00:09,366 --> 01:00:10,765 AGAIN, AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE THIS AWKWARD, PLUS COULD YOU PLEASE RAPID TEST? 1703 01:00:10,767 --> 01:00:18,807 THIS AWKWARD, PLUS COULD YOU PLEASE RAPID TEST? THE THERE'S A PLANDEMMIC GOING 1704 01:00:18,809 --> 01:00:19,074 PLEASE RAPID TEST? THE THERE'S A PLANDEMMIC GOING ON. 1705 01:00:19,076 --> 01:00:22,010 THE THERE'S A PLANDEMMIC GOING ON. >> DID HE SAY PLANDEMMIC? 1706 01:00:22,012 --> 01:00:23,745 ON. >> DID HE SAY PLANDEMMIC? >> GARRETT, I KNOW THIS IS HARD, 1707 01:00:23,747 --> 01:00:26,181 >> DID HE SAY PLANDEMMIC? >> GARRETT, I KNOW THIS IS HARD, BUT YOU CANNOT KILL THEM, EVEN 1708 01:00:26,183 --> 01:00:27,816 >> GARRETT, I KNOW THIS IS HARD, BUT YOU CANNOT KILL THEM, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD BE SO EASY. 1709 01:00:27,818 --> 01:00:29,884 BUT YOU CANNOT KILL THEM, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD BE SO EASY. OH, MAN, REALLY WISH I DIDN'T 1710 01:00:29,886 --> 01:00:31,719 THOUGH IT WOULD BE SO EASY. OH, MAN, REALLY WISH I DIDN'T BRING POISON HERE. 1711 01:00:31,721 --> 01:00:32,020 OH, MAN, REALLY WISH I DIDN'T BRING POISON HERE. GUYS! 1712 01:00:32,022 --> 01:00:33,021 BRING POISON HERE. GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT? 1713 01:00:33,023 --> 01:00:34,656 GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY 1714 01:00:34,658 --> 01:00:36,224 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY THE NIGHT IF THAT'S COOL. 1715 01:00:36,226 --> 01:00:39,694 I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY THE NIGHT IF THAT'S COOL. >> NO, GARRETT, GET YOUR PSYCHO 1716 01:00:39,696 --> 01:00:41,529 THE NIGHT IF THAT'S COOL. >> NO, GARRETT, GET YOUR PSYCHO PATH ASS OUT OF HERE NOW. 1717 01:00:41,531 --> 01:00:44,065 >> NO, GARRETT, GET YOUR PSYCHO PATH ASS OUT OF HERE NOW. >> DAMN IT, WOMAN! 1718 01:00:44,067 --> 01:00:46,901 PATH ASS OUT OF HERE NOW. >> DAMN IT, WOMAN! SORRY, THAT WAS MY STEWIE 1719 01:00:46,903 --> 01:00:47,302 >> DAMN IT, WOMAN! SORRY, THAT WAS MY STEWIE IMPRESSION. 1720 01:00:47,304 --> 01:00:49,938 SORRY, THAT WAS MY STEWIE IMPRESSION. >> NO, GARRETT, THAT WAS 1721 01:00:49,940 --> 01:00:52,073 IMPRESSION. >> NO, GARRETT, THAT WAS ACTUALLY AN AMAZING IMPRESSION. 1722 01:00:52,075 --> 01:00:54,709 >> NO, GARRETT, THAT WAS ACTUALLY AN AMAZING IMPRESSION. AND TO BE FAIR, KYRA, YOU DID 1723 01:00:54,711 --> 01:01:00,181 ACTUALLY AN AMAZING IMPRESSION. AND TO BE FAIR, KYRA, YOU DID MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A SUCKA AT 1724 01:01:00,183 --> 01:01:00,582 AND TO BE FAIR, KYRA, YOU DID MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A SUCKA AT BUCCACINOS. 1725 01:01:00,584 --> 01:01:01,549 MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A SUCKA AT BUCCACINOS. SO YOU KNOW WHAT? 1726 01:01:01,551 --> 01:01:03,118 BUCCACINOS. SO YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG TOO 1727 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:03,384 SO YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG TOO NOW. 1728 01:01:03,386 --> 01:01:04,185 MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG TOO NOW. GET IN HERE WITH US. 1729 01:01:04,187 --> 01:01:05,019 NOW. GET IN HERE WITH US. >> WOW. 1730 01:01:05,021 --> 01:01:05,420 GET IN HERE WITH US. >> WOW. THANKS GUYS. 1731 01:01:05,422 --> 01:01:05,887 >> WOW. THANKS GUYS. THAT'S SO NICE. 1732 01:01:05,889 --> 01:01:08,756 THANKS GUYS. THAT'S SO NICE. OH. 1733 01:01:08,758 --> 01:01:10,859 THAT'S SO NICE. OH. >> OH, DAMN. 1734 01:01:10,861 --> 01:01:11,526 OH. >> OH, DAMN. I'M POSITIVE. 1735 01:01:11,528 --> 01:01:38,453 >> OH, DAMN. I'M POSITIVE. >> WAIT, YOU TOOK IT? 1736 01:01:38,455 --> 01:01:41,589 I'M POSITIVE. >> WAIT, YOU TOOK IT? >>> ONCE AGAIN, KELSEA 1737 01:01:41,591 --> 01:01:41,956 >> WAIT, YOU TOOK IT? >>> ONCE AGAIN, KELSEA BALLERINI! 1738 01:01:41,958 --> 01:01:43,791 >>> ONCE AGAIN, KELSEA BALLERINI! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1739 01:01:43,793 --> 01:01:49,931 BALLERINI! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ 1740 01:01:49,933 --> 01:01:51,533 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ ♪ WE MOVED TO A PLACE 1741 01:01:51,535 --> 01:01:53,134 ♪ ♪ WE MOVED TO A PLACE WITH A VIEW OFF 1742 01:01:53,136 --> 01:01:54,736 ♪ WE MOVED TO A PLACE WITH A VIEW OFF OF EIGHTH AVENUE 1743 01:01:54,738 --> 01:01:55,837 WITH A VIEW OFF OF EIGHTH AVENUE AFTER WE SAID I DO ♪ 1744 01:01:55,839 --> 01:01:58,540 OF EIGHTH AVENUE AFTER WE SAID I DO ♪ ♪ AND WE WATCHED 1745 01:01:58,542 --> 01:02:00,175 AFTER WE SAID I DO ♪ ♪ AND WE WATCHED CARSF BAELORETTES 1746 01:02:00,177 --> 01:02:01,743 ♪ AND WE WATCHED CARSF BAELORETTES TWO AM CIGARETTES AND 1747 01:02:01,745 --> 01:02:04,479 CARSF BAELORETTES TWO AM CIGARETTES AND TRAFFIC HEADED DOWNTOWN ♪ 1748 01:02:04,481 --> 01:02:05,547 TWO AM CIGARETTES AND TRAFFIC HEADED DOWNTOWN ♪ ♪ AND THE INTERSTATE 1749 01:02:05,549 --> 01:02:07,682 TRAFFIC HEADED DOWNTOWN ♪ ♪ AND THE INTERSTATE WAS SO LOUD 1750 01:02:07,684 --> 01:02:09,317 ♪ AND THE INTERSTATE WAS SO LOUD THERE WAS A LOT 1751 01:02:09,319 --> 01:02:12,554 WAS SO LOUD THERE WAS A LOT IT HAD TO DROWN OUT ♪ 1752 01:02:12,556 --> 01:02:14,155 THERE WAS A LOT IT HAD TO DROWN OUT ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART 1753 01:02:14,157 --> 01:02:15,757 IT HAD TO DROWN OUT ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS 1754 01:02:15,759 --> 01:02:17,425 ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE 1755 01:02:17,427 --> 01:02:20,128 FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ 1756 01:02:20,130 --> 01:02:21,696 BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE 1757 01:02:21,698 --> 01:02:23,865 ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN 1758 01:02:23,867 --> 01:02:26,467 ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪ 1759 01:02:26,469 --> 01:02:28,136 BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN 1760 01:02:28,138 --> 01:02:30,238 DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN 1761 01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:31,339 ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN YOU CHANGED THE SECOND 1762 01:02:31,341 --> 01:02:33,508 STARTED COMING DOWN YOU CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ 1763 01:02:33,510 --> 01:02:35,076 YOU CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG 1764 01:02:35,078 --> 01:02:36,744 WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT 1765 01:02:36,746 --> 01:02:38,880 ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME 1766 01:02:38,882 --> 01:02:48,056 CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ 1767 01:02:48,058 --> 01:02:49,090 WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I BOUGHT THE HOUSE 1768 01:02:49,092 --> 01:02:49,624 IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I BOUGHT THE HOUSE WITH A FENCE 1769 01:02:49,626 --> 01:02:51,759 ♪ I BOUGHT THE HOUSE WITH A FENCE ENOUGH ROOM FOR SOME KIDS 1770 01:02:51,761 --> 01:02:53,928 WITH A FENCE ENOUGH ROOM FOR SOME KIDS A BACKYARD FOR DIBS ♪ 1771 01:02:53,930 --> 01:02:55,530 ENOUGH ROOM FOR SOME KIDS A BACKYARD FOR DIBS ♪ ♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT 1772 01:02:55,532 --> 01:02:56,631 A BACKYARD FOR DIBS ♪ ♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER♪ 1773 01:02:56,633 --> 01:02:58,266 ♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER♪ ♪ AND MAYBE FOREVER 1774 01:02:58,268 --> 01:03:00,435 WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER♪ ♪ AND MAYBE FOREVER WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE 1775 01:03:00,437 --> 01:03:03,671 ♪ AND MAYBE FOREVER WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THE WALLS CLOSING IN ♪ 1776 01:03:03,673 --> 01:03:04,772 WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THE WALLS CLOSING IN ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE HOW DOES THAT 1777 01:03:04,774 --> 01:03:05,840 THE WALLS CLOSING IN ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE 1778 01:03:05,842 --> 01:03:07,475 ♪ 'CAUSE HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT 1779 01:03:07,477 --> 01:03:09,644 EVEN MAKE SENSE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT IT NEVER DID ♪ 1780 01:03:09,646 --> 01:03:11,246 NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT IT NEVER DID ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART 1781 01:03:11,248 --> 01:03:13,381 IT NEVER DID ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS 1782 01:03:13,383 --> 01:03:14,449 ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE 1783 01:03:14,451 --> 01:03:17,685 FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ 1784 01:03:17,687 --> 01:03:19,287 BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE 1785 01:03:19,289 --> 01:03:20,922 ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN 1786 01:03:20,924 --> 01:03:23,591 ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪ 1787 01:03:23,593 --> 01:03:25,226 BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN 1788 01:03:25,228 --> 01:03:26,828 DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN 1789 01:03:26,830 --> 01:03:28,429 ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN I CHANGED THE SECOND 1790 01:03:28,431 --> 01:03:30,031 STARTED COMING DOWN I CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ 1791 01:03:30,033 --> 01:03:31,666 I CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG 1792 01:03:31,668 --> 01:03:32,700 WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT 1793 01:03:32,702 --> 01:03:34,902 ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME 1794 01:03:34,904 --> 01:03:41,376 CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ 1795 01:03:41,378 --> 01:03:41,909 WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE 1796 01:03:41,911 --> 01:03:44,078 IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME 1797 01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:51,052 ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ 1798 01:03:51,054 --> 01:03:53,187 PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ IT HURTS PUTTING 1799 01:03:53,189 --> 01:03:54,789 IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ IT HURTS PUTTING STUFF IN A BOX 1800 01:03:54,791 --> 01:03:56,924 ♪ IT HURTS PUTTING STUFF IN A BOX AND NOW WE DON'T TALK ♪ 1801 01:03:56,926 --> 01:03:58,559 STUFF IN A BOX AND NOW WE DON'T TALK ♪ ♪ AND IT STINGS 1802 01:03:58,561 --> 01:04:00,728 AND NOW WE DON'T TALK ♪ ♪ AND IT STINGS ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT 1803 01:04:00,730 --> 01:04:05,033 ♪ AND IT STINGS ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT KNOWING YOU GOT HALF ♪ 1804 01:04:05,035 --> 01:04:06,634 ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT KNOWING YOU GOT HALF ♪ ♪ I KISSED 1805 01:04:06,636 --> 01:04:09,370 KNOWING YOU GOT HALF ♪ ♪ I KISSED SOMEONE NEW LAST NIGHT 1806 01:04:09,372 --> 01:04:10,438 ♪ I KISSED SOMEONE NEW LAST NIGHT AND NOW I DON'T KNOW 1807 01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,573 SOMEONE NEW LAST NIGHT AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING BABY ♪ 1808 01:04:12,575 --> 01:04:14,676 AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE 1809 01:04:14,678 --> 01:04:16,277 WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE UNTIL I WANTED OUT 1810 01:04:16,279 --> 01:04:19,480 ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE UNTIL I WANTED OUT NOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME ♪ 1811 01:04:19,482 --> 01:04:21,149 UNTIL I WANTED OUT NOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN 1812 01:04:21,151 --> 01:04:22,750 NOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN 1813 01:04:22,752 --> 01:04:23,818 ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN WE CHANGED THE SECOND 1814 01:04:23,820 --> 01:04:25,453 STARTED COMING DOWN WE CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ 1815 01:04:25,455 --> 01:04:27,021 WE CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG 1816 01:04:27,023 --> 01:04:29,190 WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT 1817 01:04:29,192 --> 01:04:30,258 ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME 1818 01:04:30,260 --> 01:04:34,595 CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ 1819 01:04:34,597 --> 01:04:35,630 WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE 1820 01:04:35,632 --> 01:04:40,435 IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME 1821 01:04:40,437 --> 01:04:46,908 ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ 1822 01:04:46,910 --> 01:04:48,476 PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I JUST BOUGHT 1823 01:04:48,478 --> 01:04:50,611 IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I JUST BOUGHT THAT HOUSE THAT WE SAW 1824 01:04:50,613 --> 01:04:57,652 ♪ I JUST BOUGHT THAT HOUSE THAT WE SAW YOU SAID IT WAS WRONG 1825 01:04:57,654 --> 01:05:02,790 THAT HOUSE THAT WE SAW YOU SAID IT WAS WRONG BUT I WANTED IT ALL ALONG ♪ 1826 01:05:02,792 --> 01:05:07,495 YOU SAID IT WAS WRONG BUT I WANTED IT ALL ALONG ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1827 01:05:21,076 --> 01:05:23,077 >>> WELCOME BACK TO "TOO HOT TO HANDLE," WHERE THE ACCENTS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THE 1828 01:05:23,079 --> 01:05:23,578 HANDLE," WHERE THE ACCENTS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THE PREMISE IS SIMPLE. 1829 01:05:23,580 --> 01:05:24,512 ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THE PREMISE IS SIMPLE. ABSTAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY, 1830 01:05:24,514 --> 01:05:25,580 PREMISE IS SIMPLE. ABSTAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY, AND YOU'LL WIN 200 Gs. 1831 01:05:25,582 --> 01:05:26,314 ABSTAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY, AND YOU'LL WIN 200 Gs. CAN YOU BELIEVE NETFLIX HAS MADE 1832 01:05:26,316 --> 01:05:30,384 AND YOU'LL WIN 200 Gs. CAN YOU BELIEVE NETFLIX HAS MADE FIVE SEASONS OF THIS? 1833 01:05:30,386 --> 01:05:32,019 CAN YOU BELIEVE NETFLIX HAS MADE FIVE SEASONS OF THIS? >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 1834 01:05:32,021 --> 01:05:34,155 FIVE SEASONS OF THIS? >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> HI, LANA. 1835 01:05:34,157 --> 01:05:35,790 >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> HI, LANA. >> I INTRODUCED THE GROUND RULES 1836 01:05:35,792 --> 01:05:36,824 >> HI, LANA. >> I INTRODUCED THE GROUND RULES OF THIS RETREAT JUST 24 HOURS 1837 01:05:36,826 --> 01:05:37,925 >> I INTRODUCED THE GROUND RULES OF THIS RETREAT JUST 24 HOURS AGO. 1838 01:05:37,927 --> 01:05:39,560 OF THIS RETREAT JUST 24 HOURS AGO. >> AND WE HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, 1839 01:05:39,562 --> 01:05:40,294 AGO. >> AND WE HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, LANA, ME AND IZZY HAVEN'T DONE 1840 01:05:40,296 --> 01:05:42,230 >> AND WE HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, LANA, ME AND IZZY HAVEN'T DONE NOTHING. 1841 01:05:42,232 --> 01:05:42,930 LANA, ME AND IZZY HAVEN'T DONE NOTHING. >> EVEN THOUGH DOM IS PROPER 1842 01:05:42,932 --> 01:05:44,932 NOTHING. >> EVEN THOUGH DOM IS PROPER FIT, YEAH. 1843 01:05:44,934 --> 01:05:46,534 >> EVEN THOUGH DOM IS PROPER FIT, YEAH. >> WE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE HAND 1844 01:05:46,536 --> 01:05:47,201 FIT, YEAH. >> WE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE HAND STUFF, AND I ALWAYS DO HAND 1845 01:05:47,203 --> 01:05:49,270 >> WE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE HAND STUFF, AND I ALWAYS DO HAND STUFF. 1846 01:05:49,272 --> 01:05:50,338 STUFF, AND I ALWAYS DO HAND STUFF. >> IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT 1847 01:05:50,340 --> 01:05:53,007 STUFF. >> IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT TO WIN THIS 200 GRAND. 1848 01:05:53,009 --> 01:05:53,741 >> IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT TO WIN THIS 200 GRAND. >> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT WON'T BE 1849 01:05:53,743 --> 01:05:55,176 TO WIN THIS 200 GRAND. >> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT WON'T BE HAPPENING. 1850 01:05:55,178 --> 01:05:58,379 >> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT WON'T BE HAPPENING. LAST NIGHT, EAK COSTING THE VIL 1851 01:05:58,381 --> 01:05:59,447 HAPPENING. LAST NIGHT, EAK COSTING THE VIL >> NO! 1852 01:05:59,449 --> 01:06:01,082 LAST NIGHT, EAK COSTING THE VIL >> NO! >> BLOODY HELL. 1853 01:06:01,084 --> 01:06:03,217 >> NO! >> BLOODY HELL. >> IT WAS THEM TWO, WASN'T IT? 1854 01:06:03,219 --> 01:06:04,285 >> BLOODY HELL. >> IT WAS THEM TWO, WASN'T IT? >> ACTUALLY, IT WAS A KISS 1855 01:06:04,287 --> 01:06:06,454 >> IT WAS THEM TWO, WASN'T IT? >> ACTUALLY, IT WAS A KISS SHARED BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN 1856 01:06:06,456 --> 01:06:08,055 >> ACTUALLY, IT WAS A KISS SHARED BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL. 1857 01:06:08,057 --> 01:06:11,859 SHARED BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL. >> SORRY, GUYS. 1858 01:06:11,861 --> 01:06:14,028 BECHAMEL. >> SORRY, GUYS. I TRIED NOT TO KISS RODNEY, BUT 1859 01:06:14,030 --> 01:06:19,934 >> SORRY, GUYS. I TRIED NOT TO KISS RODNEY, BUT THEN I WANTED TO, SO I DID. 1860 01:06:19,936 --> 01:06:23,171 I TRIED NOT TO KISS RODNEY, BUT THEN I WANTED TO, SO I DID. GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE 1861 01:06:23,173 --> 01:06:23,471 THEN I WANTED TO, SO I DID. GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE THAT. 1862 01:06:23,473 --> 01:06:24,138 GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE THAT. >> WAIT, WAIT, RODNEY, YOU 1863 01:06:24,140 --> 01:06:24,705 THAT. >> WAIT, WAIT, RODNEY, YOU HOOKED UP WITH GLENN? 1864 01:06:24,707 --> 01:06:25,072 >> WAIT, WAIT, RODNEY, YOU HOOKED UP WITH GLENN? >> I KNOW. 1865 01:06:25,074 --> 01:06:25,673 HOOKED UP WITH GLENN? >> I KNOW. WE LOST THE PRIZE MONEY. 1866 01:06:25,675 --> 01:06:26,007 >> I KNOW. WE LOST THE PRIZE MONEY. >> YEAH. 1867 01:06:26,009 --> 01:06:29,610 WE LOST THE PRIZE MONEY. >> YEAH. THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE SHOCKED. 1868 01:06:29,612 --> 01:06:30,244 >> YEAH. THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE SHOCKED. >> YOU COULD HAVE SNOGGED 1869 01:06:30,246 --> 01:06:32,313 THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE SHOCKED. >> YOU COULD HAVE SNOGGED ANYONE, AND YOU WENT WITH GLENN? 1870 01:06:32,315 --> 01:06:32,880 >> YOU COULD HAVE SNOGGED ANYONE, AND YOU WENT WITH GLENN? >> IT'S NOT MY FAULT. 1871 01:06:32,882 --> 01:06:34,982 ANYONE, AND YOU WENT WITH GLENN? >> IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER. 1872 01:06:34,984 --> 01:06:36,584 >> IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. 1873 01:06:36,586 --> 01:06:37,652 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. >> SORRY. 1874 01:06:37,654 --> 01:06:41,489 LISTEN TO HER VOICE. >> SORRY. I HAD TO SNEEZE. 1875 01:06:41,491 --> 01:06:42,223 >> SORRY. I HAD TO SNEEZE. >> THERE WAS ANOTHER RULE BREAK 1876 01:06:42,225 --> 01:06:42,924 I HAD TO SNEEZE. >> THERE WAS ANOTHER RULE BREAK LAST NIGHT COSTING THE GROUP 1877 01:06:42,926 --> 01:06:43,624 >> THERE WAS ANOTHER RULE BREAK LAST NIGHT COSTING THE GROUP $20,000. 1878 01:06:43,626 --> 01:06:48,429 LAST NIGHT COSTING THE GROUP $20,000. >> NO! 1879 01:06:48,431 --> 01:06:49,163 $20,000. >> NO! >> IT WAS HEAVY PETTING IN THE 1880 01:06:49,165 --> 01:06:50,031 >> NO! >> IT WAS HEAVY PETTING IN THE GRILL AREA BETWEEN RODNEY AND 1881 01:06:50,033 --> 01:06:53,801 >> IT WAS HEAVY PETTING IN THE GRILL AREA BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL. 1882 01:06:53,803 --> 01:06:57,572 GRILL AREA BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL. >> I'M SORRY. 1883 01:06:57,574 --> 01:06:58,005 GLENN BECHAMEL. >> I'M SORRY. >> I'M SORRY. 1884 01:06:58,007 --> 01:06:58,739 >> I'M SORRY. >> I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE 1885 01:06:58,741 --> 01:06:59,207 >> I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE GLENN. 1886 01:06:59,209 --> 01:07:02,977 I'VE JUST NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE GLENN. SHE'S SO UNPREDICTABLE. 1887 01:07:02,979 --> 01:07:04,579 GLENN. SHE'S SO UNPREDICTABLE. >> RODNEY MADE RIBS, AND I LET 1888 01:07:04,581 --> 01:07:06,714 SHE'S SO UNPREDICTABLE. >> RODNEY MADE RIBS, AND I LET HIM USE MY BODY AS A NAPKIN. 1889 01:07:06,716 --> 01:07:08,850 >> RODNEY MADE RIBS, AND I LET HIM USE MY BODY AS A NAPKIN. IT DOESN'T MATTER. 1890 01:07:08,852 --> 01:07:11,018 HIM USE MY BODY AS A NAPKIN. IT DOESN'T MATTER. I PACKED 16 OF THESE SHIRTS. 1891 01:07:11,020 --> 01:07:11,752 IT DOESN'T MATTER. I PACKED 16 OF THESE SHIRTS. RODNEY TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH THE 1892 01:07:11,754 --> 01:07:14,222 I PACKED 16 OF THESE SHIRTS. RODNEY TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH THE GRILL. 1893 01:07:14,224 --> 01:07:17,458 RODNEY TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH THE GRILL. OOPS, I DID IT ANYWAYS. 1894 01:07:17,460 --> 01:07:19,093 GRILL. OOPS, I DID IT ANYWAYS. >> MAYBE THIS IS A QUESTION FOR 1895 01:07:19,095 --> 01:07:19,827 OOPS, I DID IT ANYWAYS. >> MAYBE THIS IS A QUESTION FOR PRODUCERS, BUT WHY IS GLENN EVEN 1896 01:07:19,829 --> 01:07:21,229 >> MAYBE THIS IS A QUESTION FOR PRODUCERS, BUT WHY IS GLENN EVEN HERE. 1897 01:07:21,231 --> 01:07:22,296 PRODUCERS, BUT WHY IS GLENN EVEN HERE. >> BECAUSE I'M A HORNED-UP 1898 01:07:22,298 --> 01:07:24,432 HERE. >> BECAUSE I'M A HORNED-UP SINGLE LIKE YOU GUYS. 1899 01:07:24,434 --> 01:07:25,499 >> BECAUSE I'M A HORNED-UP SINGLE LIKE YOU GUYS. I'VE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES. 1900 01:07:25,501 --> 01:07:26,234 SINGLE LIKE YOU GUYS. I'VE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES. BUT WHO'S COUNTING? 1901 01:07:26,236 --> 01:07:27,301 I'VE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES. BUT WHO'S COUNTING? ME. 1902 01:07:27,303 --> 01:07:29,370 BUT WHO'S COUNTING? ME. I ALWAYS COUNT. 1903 01:07:29,372 --> 01:07:30,404 ME. I ALWAYS COUNT. EXCEPT CALORIES, YOU ARE WHAT 1904 01:07:30,406 --> 01:07:30,938 I ALWAYS COUNT. EXCEPT CALORIES, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. 1905 01:07:30,940 --> 01:07:39,380 EXCEPT CALORIES, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. SO I'M RODNEY'S ASS. 1906 01:07:39,382 --> 01:07:41,983 YOU EAT. SO I'M RODNEY'S ASS. >> I HOPE YOU GUYS AREN'T 1907 01:07:41,985 --> 01:07:42,350 SO I'M RODNEY'S ASS. >> I HOPE YOU GUYS AREN'T JEALOUS. 1908 01:07:42,352 --> 01:07:47,455 >> I HOPE YOU GUYS AREN'T JEALOUS. >> I'M ACTUALLY NUMB FROM THE 1909 01:07:47,457 --> 01:07:47,855 JEALOUS. >> I'M ACTUALLY NUMB FROM THE WASTE DOWN. 1910 01:07:47,857 --> 01:07:51,058 >> I'M ACTUALLY NUMB FROM THE WASTE DOWN. >> GLENN IS SO WEIRD AND OLD. 1911 01:07:51,060 --> 01:07:51,592 WASTE DOWN. >> GLENN IS SO WEIRD AND OLD. >> ACTUALLY, I'M 28. 1912 01:07:51,594 --> 01:07:55,863 >> GLENN IS SO WEIRD AND OLD. >> ACTUALLY, I'M 28. I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL. 1913 01:07:55,865 --> 01:07:56,497 >> ACTUALLY, I'M 28. I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL. >> ANOTHER RULE BREAK IS 1914 01:07:56,499 --> 01:07:58,900 I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL. >> ANOTHER RULE BREAK IS HAPPENING NOW. 1915 01:07:58,902 --> 01:08:01,469 >> ANOTHER RULE BREAK IS HAPPENING NOW. >> WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING? 1916 01:08:01,471 --> 01:08:03,905 HAPPENING NOW. >> WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING? >> SHE'S KISSING UP HIS ARM LIKE 1917 01:08:03,907 --> 01:08:06,674 >> WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING? >> SHE'S KISSING UP HIS ARM LIKE SHE'S GNAWING ON CORN. 1918 01:08:06,676 --> 01:08:09,443 >> SHE'S KISSING UP HIS ARM LIKE SHE'S GNAWING ON CORN. >> IS THIS A RULE BREAK? 1919 01:08:09,445 --> 01:08:12,480 SHE'S GNAWING ON CORN. >> IS THIS A RULE BREAK? >> TECHNICALLY NO, BUT IT MAKES 1920 01:08:12,482 --> 01:08:14,548 >> IS THIS A RULE BREAK? >> TECHNICALLY NO, BUT IT MAKES ME SICK, SO I'M DRAINING THE 1921 01:08:14,550 --> 01:08:15,683 >> TECHNICALLY NO, BUT IT MAKES ME SICK, SO I'M DRAINING THE PRIZE FUND. 1922 01:08:15,685 --> 01:08:16,617 ME SICK, SO I'M DRAINING THE PRIZE FUND. SOMEONE UNPLUG ME. 1923 01:08:16,619 --> 01:08:17,351 PRIZE FUND. SOMEONE UNPLUG ME. >> GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE 1924 01:08:17,353 --> 01:08:18,286 SOMEONE UNPLUG ME. >> GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE THAT. 1925 01:08:48,951 --> 01:08:53,236 >>> THANK YOU TO KELSEA BALLERINI,ASON 209947