All language subtitles for Libido - The Urge to Love (1971) [Je suis une nymphomane].EN

Students complain
they have too much work.

They threw a rubbish bin
on the Dean's head.

In my day, when I studied seamanship,

if one had dared to do so,

we would have been thrown
out in the street.

There was discipline at that time.

It was not so bad.

In his time...

My father lived
remembering his youth.

And didn't worry about mine.

We all lived in his past.

And we couldn't remove ourselves
from his stories.

My mother, for the last twenty years,
only spoke to him to ask:

Will you drink coffee
when you've finished?

As if she didn't know.
Old custom of master mariner.

Coffee, three times a day,
and no sugar.

Why would he want to stay awake?

He spent his life sleeping as one
sleeps during a church sermon.

You're here again to steal our daughter.
Are you going to the cinema?

Of course. I watched only
two films in my life,

but they have to go every
week. In my day...

Don't bring her home too late.

Do not worry, mother.
Have a good evening.

And as soon as we left them,

I knew they'd talk about my older
brother who died in Indochina.

If only he was here, she would
not need a boyfriend.

Come, I want to go home.

Living without love...

my parents had taught
me to hate love.

I couldn't even bear the touch
of Eric's hands.

I could not bear the sight of
other people making love.

Not knowing pleasure, I couldn't
understand the pleasure of this girl.

Look.

Wait.

So, young people?
You want to keep us company?

Another night perhaps, now we
have to go.

Here, type this before noon.

It's the insurance's report of Mr...

Return to your office.

When employees lose
time, the bosses lose money.

What's wrong with my little Carole?
Do you still love me?

You know what I've heard?
People say you missed me.

Are you only here to tell me
this nonsense?

What do I hear? Are you scolding
the nephew of the boss now?

Can't you see that I'm working?

What a disappointment.
I planned to leave to Cyth�re

and now I find a model employee.

I'm a victim of the morality of
middle-class workers.

I'll be back.

Next time tell him he's an idiot.

Since you knew that why don't you tell him
yourself?

That's how I was living,
between the boredom of my parents,

the contempt of my boyfriend...

and the monotonous
boredom of my work.

Mrs. Fran�ois had dressed my mother,

it was agreed then that
Mrs. Fran�ois would dress me.

That's family unity for you.

You... you look so much
like your mother when she was young.

By the way, this wedding
with Mr. Eric,

is it soon?

When leaving the house
of Mrs. Fran�ois...

I saw him.

It was an infatuation.

Did you see her x-rays, doctor?

Yes, it's miraculous to have such
a fall with so little damage.

Yes, not a fracture, it's incredible.
And about the psychological damage?

Do you think she's normal?
Is there no apparent trauma?

Hard to say for now,
she has yet to speak.

Hopefully, in a few days.

- Will we see you again tomorrow?
- Unfortunately, no.

My holidays are over.
I'm leaving this afternoon.

Have a good journey, Doctor.

But what do I see, Miss?
It is not wise to get up so soon.

A little patience, you must
take your time and rest.

Here. Lie down.

Try to sleep a little,
you'll see, everything will be fine.

My convalescence continued
in the family home.

And it was here for the first time

that I felt the first symptoms
of the shameful illness

that would change my life.

I had never thought
about my body before

and suddenly I found myself
thinking only of it.

Its presence haunted me.

At every moment I wanted to touch it.

At every moment I had to look at myself.

Surprised by this body which
now gave me so much pleasure.

Can you come downstairs, my darling?

- Your boyfriend is waiting for you.
- Let him come up, mother.

It is not proper for
him to enter in your room.

I'll tell him to come back tomorrow.

You can trust Eric.

And it would divert me a little...

Are you alright?

I had to see you.

No, don't thank me.

You have... I want... I wish...

What?

But here? Like this?

I beg you, it's what
you wanted when...

I was so embarrassed to ask him this way,
and I felt pity for him.

A poor man who lost his courage
so miserably.

At the same time, my desire was
so strong that I could not wait.

Then everything was hurried.

Eric, I beg you.

What if your mother comes in?

Are you mad?

- Are you mad at me?
- No, but...

Suddenly, I was afraid
and very embarrassed.

To provoke him, I said:

Do you take me for a whore?

No, a neurotic. An hysteric.

A nymphomaniac.

That's it. You're a nymphomaniac.

He looked so devastated
that I started laughing.

It was nerves. Nymphomaniac.
I did not even know it meant,

Perhaps he didn't know either.

This first contact with love
had not satisfied me.

I'd felt a pleasure unknown
to me - very violent.

But I wanted more.

I dared not look
Eric in the face.

I was embarrassed by him.

And also I suspected
he wasn't up to it.

You're crying, my darling. What
happened? Have you had an argument with Eric?

- No, mother, no.
- Answer me, my child.

Don't be afraid.

It'll stay between us. I won't say
anything to your father.

What is it?

You don't want to answer me?

I'm worried.

Since your accident,
you've not been the same.

Before you trusted me,
you talked to me.

Poor mother.

I could not tell her
that since my accident

I was seized by a sexual madness
that was ever growing.

She would never have understood.

She, who only knew the desire
that my father inspired in her.

What did she know about love?
Nothing.

Since she had never been unfaithful
to her husband.

I could not tell anything
to my mother, nor Eric.

Why did I confess to Gina?

Because this old school friend

had in my young years
an experience that fascinated me.

So, I talked. I told her everything.

She thought it was normal.
I insisted.

You have to understand. Before, I didn't
even know what it meant to be lusty.

You were rather retarded.

It's terrible.

But now I have to resist, or
I would always be making love.

- I know it's wrong.
- Of course not.

Love is very good.

But to always want to do it?

Listen, between frigidity
and nymphomania...

What?

Between two evils you must
learn to choose the least.

And being nymphomaniac is less common.

You think I'm a...

A nymphomaniac? So what?

So what? Gina was the second
to call me a nymphomaniac.

I was beginning to believe it.

Also my body became
increasingly demanding.

Though I tried to be careful
the scandal had to explode one day.

The next day, and it was as tedious as any other
day.

But I was afraid.

Since the beginning of the afternoon
my flesh vibrated and tyrannised me.

Will I have the strength
to resist any longer?

There, another day gone by.

One more, one less.

Here, have the boss sign these.

You want me at home tonight, my sweet?

I understand it's normal to
desire me.

But I already have three
appointments for tonight.

Really?

With your friend, Sylvie?

For me too?
Both of you at the same time?

But it is Sodom and Gomorrah.

Since you bring the girls,
I bring the champagne.

See you later.

So, my little Carole?
Always young, beautiful...

and virgin?

What is it?

Don't you feel well?

- Carole isn't here?
- No, she's in the boss's office.

Why are you smiling?
There is nothing extraordinary.

Of course.

But she's in there since half an hour.

The boss's nephew needs
time to sign three letters.

- Isn't the boss in there?
- No, he left for two days in Paris.

Mr. Olivier is replacing him.

Come on, Eric.

It's Mr. Olivier who signs
letters by proxy.

- I beg you, try to understand.
- Understand what?

That my daughter is a whore. A perfect
whore.

A nymphomaniac, a Jezebel.
My God, it had to happen to me.

Let her speak.
Perhaps she has an excuse.

There is no excuse for an infamy
of this type.

She will leave.

You don't mean what you're saying?

- But where will she go?
- I do not care.

She was my daughter.
I don't know her anymore.

I beg you, Bertrand.

God asks us to forgive
those who offend us.

Keep quite.

- You are free to go with her.
- Don't be concerned, mother.

Father is right.
I can't stay here.

But I don't want you to
leave without knowing

where you're going
and how you will live.

And I won't be ashamed to share
remorse with you.

Remorse is not a substitute
for forgiveness.

Within two days, I
want her to leave the house.

All was hurried along according
to a rigorous provincial logic.

Eric persuaded Olivier
to stay in his job

and to stop the ridicule and scandal against
me.

The news spread quickly in the city.

I had become the whore
people pointed out.

Mr. Dirgrand, my former employer,

was a decent man and deplored
the conduct of his nephew.

But how to repair the irreparable?

After all, I was adult.

To remove me from the shame,

he proposed that my father should send
me to work in Paris,

at his sister's. And since he promised,
she would take care of me.

My mother agreed that I should go.

And one day, I left Menton,

tormented by the remorse of having
hurt my mother.

But I haven't time.

- Miss Carole has arrived, ma'am.
- Let her in.

- Did you have a good journey?
- Excellent, thank you.

My brother explained everything to me.

Let's forget Olivier.

His intolerable rudeness
doesn't do him justice.

I know you speak English.
You have a Bachelor of Arts degree.

What do you know about modern art?
Never mind.

My clients generally are ignorant,

a little memory will quickly make them
think you are more educated than them.

Starting tomorrow, you will be in
charge of the shop with my clerk.

She'll advise you.

But you have to be very careful
because in eight days you will be alone.

Until you find something better,
you'll stay here.

Do you like it?

It's very nice.
I do not know how to thank you.

Get used to not give
thanks to anyone.

That will avoid you
having many disappointments.

You seem confused.

What will you do tonight?

I don't know.

Muriel had done well.

She had understood that to seduce me

she had to let me have
the most beautiful night of my life.

The sweetness of her words
made me drunk

as much as the hot wines
she offered to me.

I was so good with her...

I was wrong to believe
the sincerity of Muriel's love.

Soon I would be the victim
of her Machiavellianism.

You didn't tell me you had
a new clerk?

- She is very pretty, right?
- You can say that.

Where did you find her?

It's my fool of a brother
who sent her to me.

- Your brother from Menton?
- Himself.

Countryside is full of resources.
We should not forget it.

And she is ...?

I thought we'd discuss business?

But, tell me about her.

Who is she? How is she?

Well, she's a small shopkeeper
who obeys her lady boss.

A little upset, a little romantic.

The ideal dosage for a rich
Roman merchant passing in Paris.

If you can book me an appointment,
I'll buy half your store.

Deal. Let's have dinner
together tomorrow night.

There's no better occasion
to sign a bill of sale.

Tired of these perversions,
I wandered the streets of Paris.

I couldn't stand it anymore.

I was a lonely, tired, sick, nymphomaniac.

I said quietly to myself:
I'm a nymphomaniac

I'm a nymphomaniac.

Sometimes to cross the path of
a man in the street was enough

to feel desire rising
again through my body.

What I dreaded

was that this desire could be reborn
in front of any man.

Sick? Yes, I was really sick.

But a disease can be cured.

Cancer can be cured sometimes.

Why not cure nymphomania?

- You come to me with a question?
- Yes, Doctor, but not for me.

It's for a friend. I understand.

I was so embarrassed that I could not
bring myself to say that I was the person.

So I invented the character of
a poor girl

who resembled me physically
and morally,

It allowed me to tell her all
my adventures since my accident.

She understood everything.
Even what I wanted to hide.

You seem very upset
about your friend.

You'll have to send her to me.

Is it serious?
She's a nymphomaniac, is she not?

- Nymphomaniac? What does it mean?
- I don't know...

Never use medical terms

when you ignore the exact meaning.
Nymphomania...

- It is a serious illness.
- Yes and no.

It takes a few treatments
very special, very long.

Hormonal and psychiatric.

But it can be cured.

Perhaps your friend suffers only
from a slight trauma

that causes a common sexual disorder.

In any case, Miss,

tell your friend that not all
tumours are cancerous.

There are many less malignant
that benign.

It was the kind of comfort that
was offered to those facing death.

But, better than anyone, I was certain
I knew the exact origin of my evil.

Also tell your friend to come
to me with confidence.

She need not feel ashamed.

And if I'm unable to examine her,

I cannot say anything about her case.

Next patient.

Muriel had praised
Bruno's good education.

And I trusted her easily.

He had a wonderful charm.
He spoke fluently.

He was cheerful, intelligent, gallant.
But there was something...

I do not think I could have spent a
nicer evening somewhere else.

With Muriel they made
a handsome couple.

And I wondered if they had been lovers.

Then I thought this
was rather naive.

And suddenly in front of this man
and this woman,

I felt a desire so strong
that I wanted to scream.

But I restrained myself.

Again I felt ashamed by this
illness that afflicted me.

Muriel, with great intuition,
probably sensed my anxiety.

- I'm sorry.
- It's nothing.

I didn't know you had a vampire
appetite.

Charming.

You make a very nice couple.

If only Carole was more relaxed.

It went from bad to
worse very quickly.

Both undressed, and I let
them play with me.

Unable to resist,

I was torn between shame
and growing desire.

Unfortunately, the desire
was stronger.

I was weak.

And they played so well.

I was a prisoner of their
desires and my own.

I was even more alone
and bewildered.

It was no use seeing a doctor again

if it was merely to confirm
my dark forebodings.

Definitely, medicine could not
do anything for me.

There was but a last resource:
Religion.

The principles of my parents had
troubled me greatly.

For the first time, I thought believing
in God could be my salvation.

Are you looking for someone?

No, I...

These church doors are always
difficult to open but come in.

What's wrong?

Are you unwell?

Rest a moment.

Would you prefer me to stay?

Should I stay?

So, I can go and take care of my flock?

Of course.

So, my child.

You're late, Carole.

It's a defect that I
cannot tolerate from my employees.

But perhaps you're used to retiring
later since being in Paris.

She pretended not to remember
our night to humiliate me.

In fact, it hardly matters.

Your private life doesn't interest me.

But under all circumstances,
I want to arrive before you.

Go and complete the order form
for Mr. Garrucci.

- Do you remember that Italian?
- Of course, madam.

Perfect. I prefer my
employees to have a memory.

When you're finished, you can leave.

I'll close shop for a month.

Muriel was leaving for Japan on business.

She offered me a month's holiday.

Not out of generosity

but to prove that I could only be
content to live under her domination.

For a change of scenery,

I decided to take a few days
holiday on the Atlantic coast,

that I hadn't yet visited.

Using the car the Muriel
had given me up until her return,

I travelled on a bright morning.

I'm going to Arcachon.
Is it your direction?

- Yes, I'm going further.
- It's my lucky day.

Can I get in?

What's wrong?

Are you mad?

Let me go.

Since then, I was not the same.

I knew my illness was all-consuming.

Why fight against impossibility?

The first time it was chance
that brought you here.

But today?

Does it matter to know where one is
going if one does not know oneself?

What is it?

Do you need me?

The priest knew that some confessions

needed the Nature of God
to be receivable to men.

And I immediately trusted him.

To break free of my anxieties,
I told my story in detail.

How I had lived in Menton,

under what circumstances I had left,

what I had become.

Nothing seemed to shock him.

Perhaps you consider this normal.

But who says that God believes
the same thing?

God always forgives those who suffer,
the sin they commit.

And if I say that sometimes
I took pleasure...

A fugitive pleasure that you then
pays with much suffering, is that correct?

It hurts so much, Father. The body, the
soul, everything is rotten in me.

No. You are aware
of this evil inside you.

What you require now
is the will to fight.

- I feel so weak.
- God tests you.

- He leaves when I need him...
- Do not sin against hope.

By the way, did you see a doctor?

I am quite sure that a sick body

prevents true healing of the soul:
"Mens sana in corpore sano".

You must be active instead of
withdrawing into yourself

and your small problems.

Yes, yes, your small problems,
your very small problems,

in respect to the major problems
God inflicts upon all men.

What if you had a deadly disease?

- I'd rather...
- No, do not blaspheme.

He hears you.

He is everywhere,

Even here.

- He only has three leaves.
- Four. Don't you see the fourth?

It is here, as God.

Well, enough speaking of him.

Think of him, and everything will be well.

I think about him but...

Think less of yourself
and more of others.

- I have no one.
- One day you'll find someone.

Everything will be the better for you.

Meanwhile, why not spend
your time more wisely

and do good deeds?

I don't know... Dedicate
yourself to an activity.

Following the advice of the priest, I
registered to the University of Paris.

I studied with ardour
a course in philosophy.

Unfortunately, my illness
was stronger than my will.

I was again distracted.

And I thought of the
evil that tormented me.

See you Saturday, we'll go to Deauville.

No. It's not my fault.

Yes, take a whip and hit me.
It feels so good.

I don't want, I don't
want to see my father again.

If he learns who I am...

Muriel...

Slowly ...like this...

You see, Father...

Your sermons were useless.

However, I prayed, I prayed.
My God.

God. Help me.

Save me.

Relax now.

You're safe.

I'm here.

I won't leave you.

That's it. Try to wake up a little.

Too much sleep has tired you.
Try to look around.

Open your eyes.

Light will do you some good.

You'll save her.

A young body doesn't accept
death so easily.

To save a body, it's nothing Father.

It's a good thing but you're right,
it's not enough.

Let us join efforts
if we want her to...

But medicine can do nothing

against some disorders of the mind.

You know her, Father. Tell me about her.

Help me to help herself.

In her delirium, I heard that...

It is indeed a rather special
case, quite pitiful.

This girl had...

Don't leave me alone.
Alone, alone with him.

I'm lost.

Yes, I'm lost.

In a word, she says she's nymphomaniac.

As if she proudly claimed
her shame of this illness.

But what does she know?

- Did a reputable doctor diagnose...
- I think not.

But more serious in her case is that
actually believing herself to be a nymphomaniac

because of a certain sexual disorder,
in my opinion,

she acts as a real nymphomaniac.

- Does this relate to psychiatric medicine?
- Rather psychosomatic.

In that case the treatment
can be long and delicate,

with an uncertain outcome.

But she must be saved.

It seems you've taken her case to heart.

- It is the duty of a physician...
- Don't misunderstand me.

On the contrary, I pay tribute
to the doctor and the man.

Yes you can.

You can and you must do what
I could not do.

She's a very lonely girl who expects
nothing from her family.

I'm not going to take her in.

Doctor. I was looking for you. She had
another crisis so I sedated her.

Very well. Anything else?

Her parents. Her father sent a telegram.
He can't collect her.

What do we do? We can't let her
go as she came, alone and sick.

- Prepare her things, I'll take her.
- But...

- You were going to say something?
- No, I thought...

- That I was wrong?
- No, on the contrary.

- I have a fear that it...
- And I have no fear at all.

Carole is saved.

How I envy your faith in God.

In God and love too.

God also needs love.
I, and you, and her. All of us.

Michel kept his word.

He took me at his home.

He did everything possible to
make me feel comfortable.

Never in my parents house,
I had felt so content.

I was only troubled with the idea of being
unable to pay him.

and to disappoint him by succumbing
again to this terrible illness.

To this purpose, we conversed long.

What a relief to talk
with all my soul,

to the physician as well as the man.

And how he knew how to listen.

He didn't even need to talk.

I felt he understood everything,
without judging me.

He interrupted me only at the end.

When I had finished.

That's it.
You know everything.

I'm an incurable nymphomaniac.

You're not a true nymphomaniac.

I've seen some.

And these poor girls would never
have spoken as you do.

But perhaps, in a moment,
I'll be very nervous

and I will suddenly want to...

And to be sure, I'll have you
carefully examined.

Very carefully indeed.

Michel took me to see
several specialists.

I suffered examinations, analyses,

tests, interviews and
tests of all kinds.

Does it hurt here?

Here?

Apparently, all correct.

Longer and the more painful
was the psychiatric analysis.

My interviewer had no mercy,
nor decency.

The first time, I did not answer
to his questions.

But Michel scolded me.

You must answer his
questions, Carole.

I cannot, his questions are
so indiscreet

and it hurts me to
remember some details.

But you must.

Your healing depends on it.

Try to remember.

This man.

It was you who provoked him.

I didn't want to go so far.
I felt so embarrassed.

But my desire was stronger
and I couldn't fight.

- Continue.
- I can't. I can't remember.

You must. Then you will feel
relieved. One last effort.

I left these sessions completely exhausted.

Fortunately, he was here.

And I told myself that all that I did,
all that I suffered, was for him.

Alone, I would never have had
the bravery. But for him...

For you. For you, Michel.

Suddenly, I felt the desire to see him,
to put my body against his.

Was it my sickness returning again?

Or an irresistible force that drew me
to Michel and...

Get dressed.

Get inside.

No. At the wheel.

Start the car.

I was shocked.

For the first time Michel had
misunderstood my intentions.

For myself, I knew.
I had finally understood.

The force that had pushed me
to enter his room tonight

had nothing to do with the
unhealthy desires -

sexual and purely physical - that threw me
into the arms of men in the past.

The proof is that I
was not really ashamed.

And I could look straight into his eyes.
It was him who looked down.

That was when he realised
that I was really healing.

And that's why I have kept a memory
of that night,

a memory at once terrible
and wonderful.

Some days later...

maybe it was chance or an
unconscious will.

Whatever it was, my journey
took me to a well-known neighbourhood.

And I met Muriel.

What a pleasant surprise.

- Why did you leave me?
- It's rather you who...

Let's not argue about it.

Are you afraid?

I learned about your stupid accident.
Thank God, you are well.

You look like a girl in love.
What's he like?

Tall? Handsome, young, intelligent?

Of course, since you love him.

And physically, is everything well?

I see. Some problems.

But it's normal, especially with your
character, rather special.

Of course, that's between us.
I'm your friend, Carole.

Did you know that Bruno is in Paris?

He'd like to see you again.

So would I.

I'm giving a small party tomorrow.
If you feel up to it.

If your body feels like it, Carole...

Of course you can bring
the man in your life.

I'm counting on you, Carole.

I'd made a mistake by following
and listening to Muriel.

In front of Michel, I felt
uncomfortable.

Should I speak or stay silent?

I needed to confess to Father.

As if I foresaw the danger.

I looked in vain.

But I found another advisor,
and I realised where my duty lay.

I had to tell everything to Michel.

Only to him could I tell everything.

This is what I did.

His reaction surprised
me at first.

You did well to tell me.

Yesterday I realised you were
hiding something from me.

- Do you know what you will do?
- I won't return.

- On the contrary.
- But...

Who or what do you fear?
Muriel? Bruno or yourself?

You see, Carole. if I ask you to go to that
party it's because I trust you.

What if I let myself
drawn in as before?

You're not the same woman.

I realised then that he was right.

I had to submit to one last test.

And I had to act honestly,
regarding my love for him,

and show myself worthy of his trust.

I prepared myself with a distress
that was unimaginable.

Look who's coming.

Well, I never...

I won the bet. I was sure
she couldn't resist the temptation.

What a joy to see you.

You can't imagine the pleasure
I have seeing you again.

If your body likes...

I'll leave you. You won't
feel alone with these two.