All language subtitles for Bon.Bini.Holland.2015

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Welcome to Curaçao.
Welcome to Bon Bini Bungalows.

Hundred percent guaranteed.
Hundred percent vacation.

Dushi, your home away from home.

Guaranteed yours and yours alone.

Nice weather, huh?
- Sorry?

Nice weather.
- Yes, it is.

Robert Florentijn.

First time on Curaçao?
- Yes, first time.

We're nearly there.
My partner Norbert Jan is waiting for us.

Wait. I’ll turn on the air conditioning.

I hope there's a swimming pool.
- A swimming pool?

No, I'm afraid not.

Of course there's a pool.

And with water and everything. For free!
- Beautiful.

We're here. Say cheese.
A quick photo for the website.

Smile at the birdie.

Now the deposit and you can
go to the beach and get a nice tan.

But not too much of a tan
or they won't allow you back into Holland.

Two hundred, right?
- Yes.

Five hundred.

Exchange rate. Euros, guilders.

How could you have forgotten
the passports?

Get the hell out of my house!

I thought they were gone.
- Don't think. You have to make sure.

How am I supposed to know they forgot the
passports? I'm not going to rummage around.

You just broke in, moron.

Dushi!

A bit of suntan lotion?

Remember, OK: Bon Bini Bungalows.

Bon Bini Bungalows?

Who wants to know?
- Eddie Velazquez.

What are you doing?
- Sorry, sorry.

That didn't go well.

Worked too hard and drank too little,
I think. That's dangerous.

Heat stroke.
- Yeah, I think so.

People forget they have to drink
plenty of fluids.

You too, I think. You look thirsty.
- Do I?

Noëlla.

They have good cocktails here.

Shall I get two? Because it was
sweet of you to take care of me.

You should get water,
that's better for you.

Is that better for me?

One cocktail and one water
coming up, Madam Noëlla.

Don't leave, OK?

Guys, that was funny.

Everyone had a barrel of laughs,
but we're done now. OK?

I don't want to get angry,
but I'm warning you:

If you don't take off the bag,
you have a problem. I swear.

And you know that I have
a pink and a yellow belt.

Well, well...

Robert Florentijn.
The big boss of Bon Bini Bungalows.

Señor Bon Bini.

Or should I say: Robertico Florentina?
- Did I rent you a villa?

I’ll take care of any problems.

Are you not satisfied?
Didn't you get enough soap bars?

I can get you soap.

Weren't the towels soft enough?
I can get you towels.

Let me go and I’ll take care of it.
- Not to me. From me.

Moron.

I arrived at my villa yesterday
and apparently there had been a party.

Even my children's stuffed toys
were barbecued.

What has that got to do with me?

I’ll take care of it.

I’ll come to your house and...
- No!

You don't touch my house,
my stuff and my children.

You're going to pay up.

200,000 guilders.
- Where am going to get that?

Or you'll pay in kind,
40,000...

...per limb.

But that's five limbs for 200,000.

I only have four limbs.

Eddie, come on. Let's talk.
Eddie! Come on, man.

Bye, Robertico.

Funny. Very funny.

You're joking, right?

There are no buses here!

Was that his house?!

I rented it to some students.

It was Fuik Day.

Of course it was Fuik Day!

You know what people do on Fuikday:
they drink and trash everything.

How am I supposed to pay him?

To what do I owe the honor
of his majesty of nightlife hitching a ride?

Dad, I need money.
- You can always get a job on my bus.

An honest day's work
never killed anyone.

How much?

200,000 guilders?!

Do you think I can just
pull that out of my pocket?

If I don't pay they'll chop off
my five limbs.

Five?

Good. Then you can start thinking
with your head for once.

Dad...

Stay calm. I've got an idea.
A place where you can be safe for now.

What do you mean? Where?

Fine. Send him over.

For the road.
- I'm in...

What?

Kani stoba...

...saté ku batata, piska kora.
- Mom, I have to go.

FC CHICKEN

I'd like a Crispy Chicken Super Size
Go Large Menu.

Crispy Chicken Go Large Menu?
Are you sure?

Wouldn't you rather have a salad,
or eggplant or pine nuts?

You look like a cottage cheese person.
Want cottage cheese?

Sure.
- We're out.

Hello.

Hello, sir.

Ma'am, are you going to help me?

Me help you?
Do I look like a plastic surgeon?

No one can help you.

What you need is a miracle,
because you look like a grape.

Can I have a Crispy Chicken
for this jungle gnome here.

Super Size.

Go Large.

Menu.

Where's Ping Ping?

Playing Rummikub with his mother
in a container? I don't know.

Chinese people are always late.
- And you're always on time?

Right on the dot.

Don't touch me, idiot.

New chicken burgers. Sign this.
- But, Ping Ping, that's horse meat.

No way. It's real chicken.
Horse chicken.

Not horse meat, horse chicken.

It runs and flies fast.
It's horse chicken. Very good chicken.

Noltie, I have a special suit for you.

You'll make a big impression
on the ladies.

Genuine Versace.

Noltie, are you sure
that suit wasn't stolen?

What if the police comes?
I’ll be deported.

You'll be deported?
I’ll be deported.

Noltie, dough.

Huh?
- Dough.

Dough!

Special price for you:
only 50 euros.

40.
- 100.

50.
- 150.

Deal!

Shouldn't you answer the phone?

Is it your phone?
Are they calling you?

Did your phone go ring, ring, ring?

Do we need those customers?
We don't, jungle gnome.

OK. Jungle gnome.

Well, if anyone here is from the jungle,
it's you, jungle bunny.

What did you say?

What did you call me?

Jungle bunny.

Jungle bunny? Your mother.

Hello, this is restaurant FC Chicken.

Judeska, there's telephone for you.
- You too, Mr. Annoying?

It's your nephew, Robertico.
He's waiting for you.

Just a moment, sir.

I’ll be right back.

Guys, I'm off!

Hello, hello, hello, rude people!

Hello, out of my way!

Hello, out of my way! Move it.

I ONLY BRAKE FOR JOHN WILLIAMS!!

Welcome to Holland.

Auntie?
- Who did you expect? Beyoncé?

Get in. Go, go, go.
Chop chop, idiot.

Great song, auntie.

Great song...

What are you doing here anyway,
Mr. Annoying?

A kind of sabbatical.

A whattical?

Just a change of scenery. Vacation.

Listen, don't talk, don't move...

...and don't breathe either.
Nothing! Vacation.

Everyone whines about a vacation
and who has to work? Me.

Stupid whore! Shut up!

Did you kick him out again?
Don't kick him out, stab him.

Twice in the neck. Stab, stab, done.

That hassle all the time.

Thank you for letting me stay
in your studio.

Studio?
- That's what my mom said.

Of course. You will get a studio.

A nail studio, roof pigeon.

And here is your mat.
Bye, bye, dushi.

I missed you, bro.

Hey, dushi.
Want some suntan lotion?

Hurry up.

Get up. You're not staying here
for free, you know.

Where's my deposit.
Wok To Go here needs to be paid.

Go get a job.
I don't run a charity.

Hurry up, Chow Mein.

A job?

Good afternoon, ladies.
- And who might you be?

Can't you introduce yourself?
That's how it's done in the Netherlands.

A bit of decency.

"Hello, madam. Thank you for welfare."
Am I right?

My apologies. Robertico Florentina.
Nice to meet you.

What?

What's he saying?
I don't understand.

Nice to meet you.
- You should take Dutch lessons.

What are you doing here, anyway?
- I'm staying with my aunt. Down there.

God, another one.
"I'm staying with my aunt."

That's how they call it these days:
Staying.

The gentleman's staying for a week
in Holland.

Forever, you mean. Retard.

Listen, kid. I was born here, right?

Everyone comes here,
but no one ever leaves.

I just call them as I see them.

Ladies, I have to go. See you later.
- See you later?

Don't bother coming back.
But they always do. Retard.

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY

I've never worked for a boss.
- Right.

I'm an entrepreneur,
so I seize my opportunities.

I'm someone who helps people.

Helping people. Right.
So you actually have no experience.

I have...
- So this isn't going to be it.

My sister had a family like that
move in next door.

The stench wasn't normal.

Cooking every evening. Every...
That's not normal, is it?

Yes, listen, here...

What would you do if you found
your old lady in bed with some moron?

Would it be so weird for you to follow
that guy through the area with a crowbar...

...and then smearing his brains
all over the place? Or am I crazy?

A crowbar?
- Crowbar?

You want something with a crowbar.
Crowbar, crowbar...

That might be difficult.

Why cook every evening?
Just grab something out of the freezer.

Microwave some normal Dutch food.
Right?

They must have money growing on trees,
eating all those chickens.

Black or white?

Black or...?
- How you want to get paid.

Black, right? ln your case.

And then they say:
You're welcome to come and eat.

Well, I rang the doorbell five times
and just stood there.

How much do you think they pay?
- Who?

For those soccer players these days.
130 million a week! That's insane.

It's because of those Arabs.
A bit of water-piping behind the camel.

A bit of soccer in the sandbox.
With their Qatar.

I'm fed up with it.
With all those Poles...

...and all those Caribbeans.
Not sure where they're all from.

Those guys are talented, don't get me wrong,
but they lack experience.

I personally still have
a very good left one.

Ouch. Dammit.
- Anita, shut your piehole!

So can't help you with this one either.

Right, this may be something.
It's been open for a long time.

Are you into food?

Because we can't find a single retard
for this job.

But looking at you,
this may be tailor-made for you.

How do you like your first day on the job?
- Funny how you idots call this a job.

Why not ask money for breathing?

Have the phone number of some babes?
- 911 .

Don't call. That's the police.
They'll deport me.

It's just positive discrimination.
We don't need another monkey.

Rajhesh, he just arrived in the Netherlands.
Be nice.

He's a monkey?
You're a monkey.

Oh, ram ram.

What kind of get-together is this?
Are you celebrating Independence Day?

What do you think? You're my nephew,
so you don't have to work?

Where's my Crispy Chicken Menu?

The customer is king, you know.
You can't just keep them waiting.

I'm off for 30 minutes.
To the bathroom.

Can I have the chicken wings...

...without the bones.

No, I’ll have the chicken cheeseburger...

...without cheese.

What exactly don't you like
about this sandwich?

There is chicken on it.

What?

Everyone shits. Hello!
Beyoncé shits.

Maxima shits. Your mother shits.

Seriously, though.
Kofi, how do you keep this up?

This job. How do you do that?
- Come on, Robertico. Stay positive.

It's better than where I came from.

I'm a refugee from a country
full of war and misery.

And now I can work here every day!

He destroyed my house,
now it's your turn!

Show me the money!

Hurry up.

It's the day of the Lord!

Get up. It's Sunday,
the day of the Lord.

Hurry. Go, go, go.

But it's raining.
- Did Noah wait...

...until someone closed the tap?
We're going to church. God bless.

Hello, we're here. God bless.

There she is. Don't like her.

Hello, sister.

Her mouth smells like death. Can't stand it.
This is the spot.

Did your hairdresser use a hedge trimmer?
Or were you underneath a car?

You look like a bird, Cockatoo.

Don't touch me, Pavarotti.

You can only wish
getting a taste of me.

Ooh-la-la, listen to those notes.
I'm musical too, you know.

I can play those notes on my flute.

Nice, man.

We're in church.
Can you take it seriously?

You're right, sister. Some things
do need to be taken seriously.

I'm going to do things to her.
Nice things. Naughty things.

Blessed boom boom things.

Good to see you here, Robertico.
Spirituality will do you good.

The message for today,
brothers and sisters...

...is that it's time for a change.

Time for change, brothers and sisters.

You're in church, you know.

What are you talking about?
It's the Host.

Host ham and cheese.

You smell it. You want some too.
Right, Bokito?

You're not getting anything.
I can get you some bullets. Bam, bam.

Next time I’ll bring chicken.

I just need some dip, though.

God bless, lady in red.

You know what they say about
people wearing red:

I don't stop.

It's a hassle, but you know what I mean.
Amen.

Amen, brothers and sisters.
Hallelujah.

There are only two men in my life:
Jesus and John Williams.

Holy shit!
- Hello, you can't curse in church.

200,000 guilders, or you'll never
see your little island again. Eddie.

Today we'd like to thank
our brother Ken Maduro.

His generous gift made it possible
for our wonderful church...

...to have a brand new audio system.

Testing!

Brother Maduro, stand up.
A big hand for brother Maduro.

Kofi, who is he?

Ken Maduro of Maduro Hotels.
He's very rich.

He's from Curaçao as well
and started out from scratch.

He started out from scratch?
I started out from scratch.

Noltie, do you have
Ping Ping's phone number?

Who are all those chicks?
- No one. They're family.

Aunt, niece... Creative therapy.
Hobby.

So this is where you make those suits?
- No, it's German quality. Made in China.

Look...

Child-labor-free.
- Yes!

What do I owe you?
- No, I’ll send you an invoice.

Robertico, bye.

What are you doing in there?

Well, they're good at dancing,
but they're work-shy.

Welcome to the Royal Maduro, sir.
How may I help you?

I'm here to see Ken Maduro.

And your name is?
- Robert.

Robert Florentijn of Bon Bini
Business International.

I don't see your name here,
Mr. Florentijn.

It's possible I may not be
on the schedule.

I've been staying here for a while
and would like to compliment Mr. Maduro...

...on his excellent choice in staff.

I've stayed in hotels all over the globe...

...but I've never seen such pretty ladies
at reception before.

Gosh.

Mr. Maduro isn't here right now.
He'll be here tomorrow, I think.

He's playing golf.
- Golf?

Good afternoon.

Isn’t it great? An hour out of the office?

Sometimes it's good for them
to just let them find it out for themselves.

A 100 employees and who has to
take care of things? We do!

Men like us.

Yeah, man. Tiger Woods.

I recognize that. Hitting things
is good therapy.

I told my secretary to cancel
my appointments. It's me-time.

I'm the boss, so I can do what I want.
I'm the boss...

Are you going to hit that ball?

Yes.

First time?

Was it that obvious?

I heard that if you want to do business here
you have to play golf.

We do it differently on Curaçao.

Curaçao?

I haven't laughed this hard
for a long time, Robert.

We're having people over
for dinner tonight.

Why don't you come?
I'd enjoy that.

Forget it.

Not again. This ain't gonna happen.

I don't know what you have in mind,
but this ain't gonna happen.

ln the end, you're all the same.

Sorry, but I'm in rush.
- I've got news for you...

There's no way your Space Needle
is entering my Sherwood Forest. Retard.

And don't think you can open
my door through the broken window...

...and sneak around in my bedroom
while I'm wearing my nightgown.

You'd like to fool around in my tunnel,
wouldn't you? Retard.

For once I'm wearing a nice sweater
and everyone jumps my bones.

You and your money management show.

You can manage me anyway you want,
dushi.

You're too hot. If I ever were to meet you
I'd smack you down straight away.

What the heck are you wearing?
- Business, auntie.

You're going to do business
in that?

Hear that, John Williams?
He has business.

Auntie, can you drive me
to Kralingen East?

What is that?

What? My leg?
- Move it forward.

Like this?
- And the other one.

That's my other leg.
- Move that one forward.

Know what we call that?

Walking. With your grave digger face.
Idiot.

Huh?

It's Curaçao.

Right?

What are you doing here?
- I'm here for Ken Maduro.

Doesn't he live here?
- He does.

Do you work here?

Yes, something like that.

Well, well...

What a pleasant surprise.

Cheri, top me up, please.

If you go to the kitchen later.

The chef has a question about
the pudding, or something.

C'est une dessert, cheri.
Pudding sounds common, don't you think?

So you are?

Ken Ma... Robert Florentijn.
Nice to meet you.

Very nice indeed, Robbie.
I'm Sylvia Maduro.

So you're the wife of...
- Oh, Robbie.

We've known each other
for such a long time.

You can call me Sylvia.

Ah, Robert, you're here. Come in.
- Yes, nice.

Hey, having dinner with us?

Is that OK?

Don't you have to work?
- No.

At home I can usually have dinner
with the rest.

Mine wasn't cooked, by the way.
- It's carpaccio.

Noëlla Maduro.

Robert Florentijn.

Sorry about that cocktail.
Something came up.

Something? Or someone?

No. Well, there was someone,
but not someone like that.

What are you two talking about?

We've met before on Curaçao.
- Oh, that's nice.

I thought you had an internship there.
I didn't know your thesis was about men.

Ladies and gentlemen, the escargots.

Bon appetit.

I'm so sorry. I’ll wipe it off.

Thank you.

So what do you do on Curaçao,
besides harassing my girlfriend?

I have...

...a company: Bon Bini Bungalows.

Bon Bini International.

We're international.

Interesting, a young entrepreneur.
What a coincidence.

So what brings you to the Netherlands?

Guys, let's not talk about business.
- Sylvia, let him finish.

What are you doing now, Robert?
- Now?

I'm here to increase my opportunities.
- lncrease even further?

Is everything OK over there?
- I’ll get it.

No, I’ll get it.
- No, I will. No trouble at all.

Did you know that Hong Kong
is an island as well?

Or 235 small islands, actually.

They call it Nyan Kun, by the way.
Did you know that?

Got it.

But if you just say 'Hong Kong',
they understand what you mean too.

Robert?

What is your next step?

That entrepreneurial zest is wonderful.

Well, I have my eye on a piece of land
I want to build on.

Bon Bini Bungalows. And...

The investors are lining up.

All I need now is a money injection.

Interesting. Let's light up a cigar later
and you can tell me all about it.

I love cigars!

There. We deserve that.

It's very good.

I'd love doing something
on Curaçao again.

I think we should focus
on that deal in Hong Kong.

Paomo Industries. That's where
the opportunities are.

They made us a great offer.

Us?
- Patrick is my right hand.

We're working on a takeover
in Hong Kong.

Nice too, but this is different.
Investing on Curaçao.

It's as if I came full circle.
- I'm not so sure.

Before we look at the former colonies,
we have to do an assessment.

Have you even seen a CV?

You've got a CV, I assume.

Robert?

A CV? No, no one on Curaçao
has a CV.

It's too hot. Everyone has an AC.

Did you hear that?

Too hot!

Very funny.

He says the investors are lining up.
You've got a business plan, I assume?

Yes, I have an entire plan.

With business and things and...

We'll come by tomorrow
and you can present it.

Come by?
- Yes.

I mean, let's do it at your office.

You two? OK, that's fine.

No problem. Great.

Jesus.

Focus.

Come on, people!

I can't work like this.

A bit of calcium.

What are you looking at?
I need to top up, a bit of energy.

Deska, coming?

It's cold. I miss you.

I'm almost as fresh as a daisy.
I have a date with RTL Late Night.

Why the sour face?
- I can't find an office.

Office? I can get you one.
- Really?

I’ll take care of it.
50 euros on top of your deposit.

PROBATION

Did I introduce you to my partner?
My right hand. Kofi.

Kofi... Anan.
- Really?

Any relations?
- Yes.

Two sisters and a brother.

Something to drink?

I’ll have a cup of tea, please.
- Coffee.

Yes?

Coffee.
- Yes?

Yes. Coffee. Is that a problem?
- I don't have a problem.

You have a problem.
- Great, bro.

Some coffee. Something to drink.

An odd location for an office,
don't you think?

No. It was vacant, so I thought:
second chance. That's our motto.

Remember I said to you this afternoon:
second chance? Like a vacation.

A vacation is a second chance too.
You start all over. Bon Bini Bungalows.

All-inclusive bungalow resort
near the water.

So you get water at your bungalow.

No more walking.
So you have water, bungalow.

Water is your garden.

Dolphin in your garden.
Who has that these days?

And you can be part of that.
Got nearly all of the funding.

We need another 20%,
so 200,000 guilders.

That comes down to...
- 84,000 euros.

84,000 euros.
- Exactly. 84,000 euros.

You'd be crazy not to get in on it.
Right?

Great.

It's impressive, Robert.

I could just feel the warm sand
on my feet.

So you're in?
- Absolutely. It has potential.

Potential is my middle name.

So can we sign?
- Fortunately, we're not in a rush.

We first need to see some things.
For instance, do you have...

...a deed of the site?

Or the permits?

Permits...

Of course. Consider it done.

I’ll hear from you, once everything is settled.
- I’ll call you, Ken.

That looked good, Florentijn.
- Thank you.

Almost too good to be true.
An opportunity like that all of a sudden.

If I didn't know any better,
I'd think you were scamming us.

No way.

Me, scamming?

Stop that act, man.

Norwin, wassup?
- Tico, is that you?

Where are you?
- ln Holland, with my aunt.

Eddie is looking for you
all over the island.

He's hopping mad.
- Bro, don't worry about Eddie.

Doesn't your cousin work for the city?
- Yes. Reginald.

Listen, go and see him and get him
to get you a copy...

...of the deed of a big piece of land.

That's what I need. Land by the beach.
And send it express.

What do you want with it?
- It's for Ken Maduro.

Ken Maduro?
- Never mind.

My mother has the address. Send it.
- OK, express.

I’ll try my best, buddy.

Ice cream, lollipops, chips.

Come and get it.

Don't forget about me.

If anyone around here deserves a vacation,
it's me.

I can just see myself in my luxury bungalow
and my sexy lingerie.

Those bungalows aren't real.
- What do you mean 'not real'?

One Crispy Chicken Menu, please.
- Coming up, sir.

Is it Immigration?
Are they coming to get me?

I don't want to go back!
- What are you doing?

Hey, don't you shush me.

Do it one more time
and I’ll smack you.

Hello, may I order?
- Rude. Can't you see I'm busy?

With your ugly mug.
- Pardon?

I just want a Crispy Chicken Special.
- We're out.

Out?
- Can't you lip read? Out!

What a coincidence.

What are you doing here?
- The same thing you're doing here.

For the chicken.
It's better than those snails.

Dushi, he still lives with his mom.
- Is she talking to you?

No, I'm just a customer here,
with chicken.

He lives with his mom.
She doesn't know he lives with his mom.

Shall we sit down?

Hey, hello, who are you?
Who are you?

You're ugly. You're ugly too.
Let's be ugly together. OK.

Why were you on Curaçao,
by the way?

For an internship.

For how long were you there?
- Six months.

Without your boyfriend?

I can live without him
for six months.

I don't know from which cemetery
he dug this one up. Skeleton.

Give that girl a sandwich.
Victoria Secret.

If anyone is Victoria Secret,
it's me.

How did you like...

...Curaçao?
- Wonderful.

The weather is great
and the people are so sweet.

And the food.
- The food! Wonderful.

I miss my mom's food. She makes
the best Galina Stoba of the island.

No one makes it better.
- I'd love to taste it.

Tico, when you're done...

...take that girl outside
and bring the trash inside.

Robert!
- Good evening.

What are you doing here?
- I came to see Noëlla.

Noëlla? She isn't here.
- She isn't?

She went out for dinner with Patrick.

OK. Then I’ll come back
some other time.

Have a nice evening.
- Same to you.

What do you have there, anyway?

I've been negotiating for months.
I've been to Hong Kong twice.

The deal is nearly closed and dad
can only think about Bonobo Business.

Bon Bini.

A bonobo is an ape.

Are you laughing at me?

Did you see his office?
It looks like a crack house.

I'm sure it's not that bad.
- He's an amateur.

Honey, can't you just talk to your dad?

About what?

About that deal with the Chinese.

It has to be closed.
That's best for both parties.

Can we please talk about something else?
- By now they think I'm some amateur.

But the professional manner in which
I managed to bag the deal is incredible.

I'm not just doing it for myself.
No, I'm working my ass off for dad.

But he suddenly doesn't care
about my Chinese anymore.

The crazy thing is that I used to do that.
Now it's all about the numbers.

"What's the capital surplus?
Do you have a zero-coupon bond?"

"What's the functional reconstruction value?"

That's what occupies me each day.
It drives me nuts.

Tomato.

Just last week I was in a meeting
and someone asked...

Your father doesn't listen to me anymore.
It feels like he doesn't take me seriously.

So I'm wondering:
Why do I work so hard?

That deal in Hong Kong...
- Let me guess...

You've been working on it for three months.
- Sorry?

Exactly. Sorry.

You've been talking about it all evening.
- Oh, Noëlla!

I'm going home.

Honey...

Sweetheart...

Don't forget to mention those Chinese
to your dad, though.

Business, right?
That deal will work out.

You have to taste this, sweetie.
Taste.

Is this your mother's famous chicken?

Better than that posh joint, right?

Dance with me, dushi,
dance with me.

What did you put in that recipe?
Haven't seen him like that in years.

I want that recipe.

Changer.

Where are you?
I've been waiting for 15 minutes.

Where?
- At the theater.

That's tonight.
- Oh, right. Completely forgot.

You got us the tickets.
How can you forget?

I'm sorry, but I can't leave now.
I have to go.

One moment.

Hello? Robert?

Hello?
- Hey, Noëlla!

How's it going?
- Well, I'm freezing out here.

I have an extra opera ticket.

Feel like coming?

ln the Netherlands? When?
- Now!

I'm going to see Oprah! Woohoo.

It's awesome that I can come.
I can't believe she's in the Netherlands.

She comes here frequently.
- What?

I love her music.

She sings?

Who the fuck is this?
Where's Oprah?

Robert...
- Where's Oprah?

Opera?
- Yes, Oprah.

This is opera.
- Her?

It's Tania Kross.

Did you know she was coming?
- Yes.

There's nothing underneath my chair.
Nothing!

I told people I'm getting a car!

She told me Oprah was going to be here.
And I'd be getting a car.

I told everyone...

I told everyone I'd be getting a car.

OK, we'll watch Tania Kross.

Tania, we love you!

We want more! We want more!

Nice.
- There you go.

Finally the promised cocktail.
- Cheers.

Sorry you didn't get a free car.

But it was kind of beautiful, though. Right?
- Kind of?

I've never seen anything this beautiful
in my life. The emotions, the music.

And at some point the drums
sounded like galloping horses and they...

Phenomenal!
- Yes.

Those high notes were incredible.
- Exactly.

Sorry.

Sorry, that wasn't my intention.

So what was your intention?
- It was kind of spur of the moment.

I lost myself in you. Suddenly.

I won't do it again.

I like spur of the moment.

A restaurant on the bungalow site.

I can just picture it.
A cute little restaurant.

With fresh fish on the menu
and fungi and baked banana.

I can also picture an old man
playing live music.

What's wrong?

You don't want a restaurant?

It's not that.

It's Bon Bini. Sometimes I'm not sure
I should do business with your dad.

Business and friendship...
What if it all goes wrong?

What if it isn't what you expected?

I might lose everything.
Maybe I should find another investor.

My father knows what he's doing.

He believes in you.

And so do I.

And you get a car.

Norwin?
- Surprise, bro!

Give me a hug.

What the fuck are you doing here?
- You said ' express'.

What can be more express than this?
- What?

You're not hustling without me, are you?
- Of course not.

So what do you want with Ken Maduro
and this deed?

OK, listen... You don't understand.
- You reeled in a big fish...

...but you don't want to share it with me.
Bon Bini is mine too.

Or did you forget, bro?

Hey, Robert! Nice to see you.

Who did you bring along?
- Pleased to meet you. Norbert Jan.

Loyal partner of Robert. I came here
to bring the deed myself.

By express.
- I can't wait.

Let's go upstairs.
- Ken, I wanted...

The best spot on the island.
- Wonderful. It couldn't have been better.

Only the best is good enough
for Bon Bini.

There's just one problem.

I want a majority interest.

I don't like having a small stake.

How much to buy out
the other investors?

One million guilders.
- Ken, please, this is going too far.

Why? You have no idea
how beautiful it is there.

This is something I need to do.

Ken, sorry, but Patrick is right.

Don't rush into things.
- Nonsense.

I make decisions intuitively
and my intuition tells me to do this.

So does mine, Ken.

So does mine.
- Deal.

I think we're ready to sign.
- Don't fall for this, man.

It will work out, Mr. Maduro.
We'll throw in a palm tree, if you want.

That's not necessary, Norbert Jan.

Patrick, don't forget to cancel
those Chinese.

Tico!

A million! We'll never have to work again.
- As if you ever worked.

What's wrong?
- You ruined everything.

Like always. First on Curaçao
and now here!

You're just jealous.
You can't stand that I fixed this.

Jesus, man.
- The great Robertico.

I'm just as great as you
and I don't need you at all.

I’ll arrange it myself.
- Fine. Then arrange how you get home.

You should take the Coolsingel,
the Schiekade and the Bergweg...

Norbert Jan, congratulations
on your success.

Where's Robert?
- He was in a hurry.

That's too bad. I wanted to raise
a glass to the good results.

Really?
- You don't close a mega deal every day.

Shall we go to the bar?

Thank you.

Everything's about him.

Even though I always come up
with good ideas.

Bon Bini Bungalows.

My idea.
- Is that right?

What's wrong, Robertico?
You look worried.

Kofi, imagine that you...

...could go back home tomorrow.
- But there's a war over there.

Suppose it would be safe
and you can return.

That would be great.
- On one condition...

You have to hurt someone.

Wow. That's an intense moral
and spiritual dilemma.

You don't need to tell me.

Honesty lasts the longest.
My father always said that.

Take the situation
with my residence permit...

When you're honest,
it always lasts the longest.

I think our fathers are the same.
- Is your father from Sudan as well?

What?

What about those bungalows?

What about what?

What kind of bungalows are they?
Do they belong to you guys?

Have a look.

The customers always like
having their picture taken.

Hey, what's going on. Hello!

You said you had a date,
but I don't want this in my house.

I don't tolerate this kind of obscenity.
- It's not what you think it is.

This is Norwin.
- Even if it were John Williams!

Hello, madam.
- Get lost.

I don't want to touch you.
I don't know where your hands have been.

It's just for a few nights.
- Just pay that deposit.

And change the sheets.

Filthiness. Law & Ordure.

Where are you?

I was on my way,
but something came up.

Like what? We're waiting for you.

By the way, my dad thinks
that restaurant is a great idea too.

Robert?
- I...

Can we meet in private
somewhere else?

I have to tell you something.

OK. Do I need to be worried?

I’ll see you by the fountain
in front of the hotel, OK?

Was that Robert?
- Yes, he's on his way.

I have a job. I'm working on it.
I save everything I earn.

All I need is some time.

Just give me some time.

The last person who asked me for time
got eternity.

So how much time do you want,
Robertico?

I don't need a lot of time.

You're not the kind of person
who's satisfied with little.

Just look at your girlfriend.

Noëlla Maduro.
- She has nothing to do with it!

If you want it to remain that way,
make sure I get my money. Now.

OK, you'll get your money.
You'll get it.

So what's up?

Oh, nothing. Shall we go in?
- But you wanted to tell me something.

That you look stunning again today.

Come on.
- Weirdo.

Your dad's waiting.

There.

Robert, go ahead, I'd say.

I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ken.
Our pal here is a common con-artist.

What are you talking about?
- These people can explain some things.

Pieter-Joost, Hermelinde.
- I hope you're not planning...

...to do business with that fellow.
He almost scammed us out of thousands.

That villa on Curaçao didn't even belong
to him. It's nothing but a scam.

A scam?
- Yes.

There's no Bon Bini Bungalows.
There's no Bon Bini Business.

There's only Bon Bini Bullshit.
Even his name is a lie.

He's called Robertico Florentina.
Well-known to the police in Willemstad.

Is that true, Robert?

Robert?
- That's not his name.

I wasn't asking you.

Is it true?

Is it?
- Noëlla...

What's between us isn't a lie.
It's real.

You're not being serious...

I think you'd better go.

Florentina.

Hey bro, am I too late?

I'm taking care of it now.

I’ll go and get it.

What? Hide?

No problem.

You can say what you want
about those Chinese...

...but at least they can cook.

I have two coupons,
so I'm getting a container of that shit.

Here he is.
Are we keeping our pants on today?

I think I made myself perfectly clear.

So don't get any ideas,
or you'll be waiting till hell freezes over.

Who's your fecking friend?
- We won't bother you again.

What?
Do you understand him?

We're leaving.
- Really? That can't be right.

Finally someone who's a good example.
Back to his own country.

It'll be peaceful there.
The rest of them are over here.

Ouch! Fuck!
- Hey, keep on working.

If you want to stay here, work.
You too.

Hey, do you guys want pussy?

Work, work.

Did you hear?

That deal with those Chinese is on.
- Bye, Patrick.

Hello, time to wake up!

You're not sleeping here for free.
Work!

You call this sewing?

Your mother is better at it.

Should I call her?

Mommy...

Get back to work.

What's Paomo?
- Paomo's the big boss. Go and work.

Which boss?
- He'll be angry if you don't work.

Listen, Ping Ping...
- Let go of me. Relax.

You want to know who Paomo is?

Triad.
- What?

Cartel. Underworld.
- What?

Organized crime.

What?
- Chinese mafia!

The Chinese mafia owns everything.

The sweatshop, hotel, restaurant.
Buy, buy, sell.

You have to help me.
- You pay me.

I really need your help.
- I really need your money.

Fuck the money.
- Fuck you.

You pay me, I’ll help you.
- OK, I’ll pay you...

...but you have to help me now.
- Deal.

Do we have a break?
- No. Finish these pants, asshole!

Well, Ken...

It's been back and forth five times.
The interpreter checked everything.

So don't worry.

There you go.

Go ahead.

Mr. Paomo apologizes...

...for the interruption,
but he didn't want to miss this moment.

But weren't you going over there?
- I was.

That was the case, indeed.

Mr. Paomo is happy to be present.

Very happy.

May I introduce you
to my daughter Noëlla.

And you know Patrick, of course.

Right, Mr...

...Paomo.

Mr. Paomo looks different, though.

A lot younger.

Mr. Paomo thinks you look
very different as well.

A lot uglier.

He's very funny.
He likes making jokes.

Let's do business.

Good.

And there.

What's keeping him?

Ken, wait, wait!
- Robert?

Here, read this.
Read who Paomo really is.

You'll lose everything.
It's a fake contract.

You're a fake yourself,
Mr. Bon Bini Bullshit.

Please, Ken, trust me.
Don't do it.

Believe me, 'Paomo' just means 'bubble'.
It's all fake.

He works with the Chinese mafia.
- This is going too far.

Don't listen to that con-artist.
- Have your lawyers check it out.

Perhaps you should have it checked out.
- Yes, check.

Just to make sure.

You're taking his side too? Cunt!

Patrick, calm down.

He's done. The deal is off.
Mr. Paomo...

He isn't Mr. Paomo at all!

Anyway...

It doesn't matter,
because you already signed.

I'm going to Hong Kong right now
to close that deal.

Out of my way, slob.
- I'm a slob? You're a slob.

Coffee!
- Yes?

Stop!

You're not thinking of running away again,
are you?

Good for you. This will teach you
not to touch other people's stuff.

With your grave digger face.

Who are you calling Shin Shin?

Do I look Chinese? Look at my face.

Ever seen a Chinese with lovely fat lips
like this?

You saved my company.
- I didn't do anything.

You should thank that nephew of mine.
- Robert?

His name is Robertico.
That boy is madly in love with you.

I don't get it, though. I look at your face
and I think: uggh.

Where is Robert, by the way?

I’ll work in the mornings. Come on.
I’ll work at FC Chicken.

I’ll work in the sweatshop
or take a paper route.

I can do all sorts of things.
I can walk your dog.

Come on, let me walk your dog.
- I don't have a dog.

OK, your parakeet. Your grandma.
Let me walk your grandma.

Eddie, come on.
- How many limbs did you have again?

Eddie, no. Please.
- Eenie, meenie...

Immigration wants me dead.

Dear Father, please. If you rescue me
from this situation...

...I’ll never be aggressive again.
To no one!

Hare Krishna, Allah,
I don't know who you are...

What! You want to shoot my weave?

You want to shoot us?

Happy New Year, assholes!

Flying Dragon!

There's more shooting here
than in my own country.

Two more rats.

Drop your weapon.
- You drop your weapon.

You drop your weapon.
- You drop your weapon.

You drop your weapon.
- Drop your weapon.

This isn't a 'drop your weapon' game!
Drop your weapon.

You sneakily tried to shoot me?
Rude!

Let's solve this in a civilized manner.
- Oh, now you want to be civilized!

He ran out of bullets
and now he wants...

Just a moment, OK?

One moment. You want to solve this
in a civilized manner and hit me?

Kofi, hold on to my hair.

Ni hao, bitch.
With your grave digger face.

Bullshit. Get lost, idiot.

I'm going to do my nails.
I'm done.

I've got a headache and my period.
I don't have to put up with this.

I want a raise.
All that hassle all the time.

ONE YEAR LATER

Pieter-Joost and Hermelinde!

Two Karni Stoba.

Is it good, mom?

Man, you'll never believe
what just happened to me.

I'm at the elevator and it opens...

...and there was suddenly
a huge African in front of me.

Stark naked! I didn't know
where to look. It wasn't normal.

He looked at me, he wanted me.

Robertico, I have
a special offer for you.

A special green viagra.
Nice and hard.

You'll get a big horse dick.

I want to do things to you. Nice things...
- I don't want you.

...naughty things, blessed
boom boom things, sister.

Want to taste?
- Taste what?

Black coffee.

Yes? Did you call me?

He wanted me. I was his prey
and I said: Forget it, pal. No way.

I was wearing
that nice cat sweater.

He probably thought
I was Victoria Secret.

I said: I’ll make you work,
but you can't.

Went to see a movie yesterday.

The one with that Jandino.

Boy-oh-boy. Well... I'm afraid
that's not going to be it either.

Those guys don't work?
Rahjesh doesn't work.