Original subtitles

["Unsere Stadt" by Longus Mongus playing]

[dogs barking]

♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo... ♪

[man 1 on phone] That guy get back to you?

[man 2] I was just talking to him a few seconds ago.

He'll come pick it up tomorrow.

- All good. - Okay.

You can start working on the Dutch roadster.

It's got a flat tire.

- Front or back? - I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Okay.

Oh, also, I ordered those new airbags.

Okay, cool.

[dog barks]

[dog whimpers]

Ah, shit. I gotta go. See you in a bit.

Eddi! Eddi, down!

Eddi! Get off her!

Ugh. Eddi, get off. Stop it.

- [woman] Luna! - Get down, Eddi.

- Luna, what... Come here. Here. Hey. - [dogs squealing, whimpering]

Luna, come here. What are you doing?

Sorry. He's being, uh, mischievous today.

If she's pregnant now, he'll have to pay child support.

Then Eddi has visitation rights on weekends.

Every other one.

Deal.

Sorry about that. No idea where he learned that.

- [dog whimpers] - [barks]

I guess that's one of those things dogs just do, right?

Like scratching their ear with their hind leg and stuff.

Yeah, I do that too sometimes.

[both chuckle]

Um, I should probably go.

Uh, if you ever need a good photo of Eddi and yourself,

um, I'm a photographer.

Just stop by.

- Cool. - Cool.

If you...

If you're ever in need of a good bike, I own a store on Skalitzer Street.

Cool.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

[man] Yeah, hi. This is Jan.

I'd like to book a photo session for my dog Eddi and me.

[woman laughs]

When's good for you?

Um... tomorrow. You free tomorrow?

That works.

Okay.

[chuckles] See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

["Ich glaub ich will heut nicht mehr gehen" playing in German]

BLAME THE GAME

[camera shutter clicking]

Bend down a little...

[Pia] Luna, hey.

[dogs barking]

[chuckling]

- [barking] - [chuckling]

Yeah, not bad.

Kind of reminds me of this one time...

Same with the chain. I greased it and now...

[song continues playing]

[door chimes]

[box crashes]

[door chimes]

- Who was that? - Don't worry.

[Jan] For real?

[Jan talking indistinctly]

[cell phone vibrates]

[heavy breathing, panting]

KARO MISSED CALL

[heavy breathing, panting continues]

[elephant on television trumpets]

[song fades out]

[birds chirping]

[chuckles]

- Hey. - [Jan] Hey.

You know, originally, I was planning on making you a romantic breakfast in bed.

What happened?

Seemed like too much work.

- What? - Yeah.

- It's the thought that counts, right? - No.

Sometimes what counts is a romantic breakfast in bed.

[sighs] All right, then.

- Okay, wow. - [dog barks]

[Jan chuckles]

Hey! Good morning, you two.

- You'll get something too. Stay there. - [Eddi whimpers]

[Pia] Mmm.

Maybe... we could cook something tonight?

I'd really love to, but tonight I'm meeting some friends.

Oh. You... can't reschedule or move it?

It's tricky. It's our game night, and that's sacred.

- Game night? - [laughs]

I know it might sound a little bit silly, but it's sort of a tradition for us.

Okay. And, um... do you play for money?

Like blackjack, poker, strip poker?

No, it's like Monopoly and Uno.

Oh.

[chuckles] Okay.

[clears throat]

You know what? Come with me.

They can finally meet the reason they haven't seen me in weeks.

Or we could stay in bed for another few hundred years.

[dogs whimper]

I can't cancel on them.

They're like family to me.

- Family, yeah? - [chuckles]

Now I really want to come along.

- You're... - Yes!

- Family! - It'll be fun.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

- [dogs barking] - [Jan] Yeah?

[chill music playing]

Wow. My best buddy is going to a fucking game night.

- You've become old very quickly. - Yeah, it is a bit strange.

Well, I can roll the dice and play with those silly pieces. It's chill.

Yeah. Mm... I don't know. Where is it?

Grunewald.

- [music fades out] - What?

In Grunewald.

- In Grunewald? - Yeah.

Dude, no one chill lives in Grunewald.

They all won the literal game of life over there.

Good for them.

Yeah, good for them, but not good for you.

Dude, you sit there, everyone gathered around you.

"Mmm, is he the right one for our Pia?"

"Didn't finish high school?" [gasps]

"Goodness gracious! He grew up with his best friend

in a high-rise housing estate?" [retches]

Say no more. Go straight to jail and do not pass go.

That's bullshit.

No way. That's exactly how it'll go down, I promise you.

Dude, it's just a game night. There's not that much that can go wrong.

At a game night, in Grunewald, everything can go wrong.

Read the rules first or you'll look like a fool.

[hip-hop music playing in background]

- What the hell are you doing? - Man, I'm airbag testing.

[Jan] And how's that going?

Well, it should've opened.

Will her best friend be there?

It's actually at her house. Her name is Karo.

Good, okay. Then you need to get Karo on your side.

Bring her a gift, give her compliments.

"Nice hair, nice furnishings, nice house."

Those people love that shit.

- Maybe I'll just cancel on them. - Huh?

Yeah, I can meet Pia tomorrow, who cares?

- Jan. "He who doesn't play... - [Jan's cell phone vibrates]

...has already lost."

- Lukas Podolski. I think. - Oh.

- Pia said I should bring a game with me. - That's good.

I have one for you.

Best game in the world.

I'll bring it over later. And you?

Now... mmm, get ready to rumble.

You don't look very Grunewald.

- What? - [sighs] Marzahn.

[man on video] Hey, guys. Thanks for tuning in, I have something

very special for you.

It's the most popular board game on planet Earth.

Of course, I'm talking about Monopoly.

We've all played it before, families have literally gone to war because of Monopoly.

[doorbell chimes]

[Eddi barks]

[man continues talking on video]

[Eddi panting]

- Hello, my friend. - [Eddi whimpers, barks]

Hello, Eddi. Hi, there. Here we go.

This is the game. And this is the gift for Karo.

An airbag? But isn't that a little expensive?

Yeah. Grunewald style, right?

That's not the broken one, is it?

Hey, how stupid do you think I am?

- Eddi, yeah, come here. Hey, buddy! - [Eddi barks]

Okay, so, "Who Would."

I've taken it to many festivals, and it's super fun

and a pretty good way to get to know each other.

What are the rules?

All right, my friend, there are questions,

and you get to choose who in the group would most likely do that.

Here. Like here, for example.

Uh, who would pee from a bridge?

Well, you.

- What? No, you, of course. - [chuckles]

Okay, and what's next?

Yeah, it doesn't work with just us two. You need more people.

[slightly sarcastic] Wow. Great game.

- Right? - Fantastic.

- Awesome. I knew you'd like it. - Thanks, Alex.

Yeah, little Eddi.

[sputtering] Aww...

["Sign" by Baba Blakes playing]

♪ I've been waiting for so long ♪

- Hi. - Hey, there.

- Hey. - ♪ I've been waiting for so long ♪

Ready?

Yeah.

- Okay. - Yeah.

[both chuckling]

- Where's Luna? - With a dog sitter.

Well, the daughter of my neighbor.

Okay. Cool.

This is our challenge cup.

I'm the defending champion. In case you were curious.

Okay. Wow. You guys really take this thing seriously, huh?

Absolutely.

[chuckles lightly]

What do you have there?

This? Oh, it's just a little gift.

So your family will at least be a tiny bit impressed with me.

- ["Sign" continues playing] - ♪ I've been waiting for so long ♪

♪ Been waiting for the day to come ♪

[song continues]

Okay. So who's gonna be there tonight? Your best friend.

[Pia] Karo, we've known each other since kindergarten.

Here, this is Karo.

Um, Karo studied design and runs a super successful

furniture mail-order business.

Here! That's from when we went to Crete. We go every year.

- Wow. - And Karo's husband is Oliver.

He teaches at a trade school. And that's baby Emma.

- So cute. - Right?

[Pia] And if you keep going, you'll see Sheila.

And Sheila is a pharmacist. And, um, oh my, yeah.

Relationship status is complicated.

- [Jan] Oh, um, her? - [Pia] Yeah!

[Pia chuckles]

Okay. And that's everyone?

Yep. Uh, no. Ah... Kurt. Can't forget Kurt.

[Jan] Is that him?

No, um... I don't have a photo of Kurt on there.

Kurt is actually Karo's brother, and, uh, God, he's been at university forever.

He lives with them.

It was meant to be for two weeks. But then those two weeks turned into half a year.

Kurt's a little bit... um...

- [chuckles] - A little...

[Pia chuckles]

- A little what? - I mean, you'll see.

[dreamy music playing]

[Pia] Here we are.

Wow. Your friends have really won the game of life.

Huh?

Nothing.

May I?

Yeah.

[singer vocalizes]

- [car beeps] - [music continues softly]

[man] Good evening.

[Pia] Hello, Mr. Fieper.

Game night, I suppose?

- Bingo. - You're playing Bingo?

Oh no. I was saying... By bingo, um... Yeah.

Oh, and please let the Hoffmanns know

that I've seen some wild boars roaming the area again.

They ravaged half of my lawn.

- [door opens] - [woman] Hey!

[chuckling]

Good night, Mr. Fieper.

Was he bothering you guys? Oh, what a freak.

[chuckling]

Hello.

Ta-da! Karo, Jan. Jan, Karo.

- Hi. - Welcome.

Thank you.

[Karo chuckles] Well, then.

[music fades out]

Great house. Really.

It's as big as my apartment. Well, the hallway.

[chuckling]

- You do the best you can. - Did you just get your hair done?

- Mm-hm. - Looks so good.

- Right? Thanks. - Mm-hm.

- Is that present for me? - Oh yeah, this is for you.

Thank you. Uh, what is it?

- Shall I? - Oh yeah.

It's this great new kind of airbag that you put on when you're riding your bike.

- It's for your safety. - Uh-huh.

Put on... where?

- [chuckles] - Um...

- I told you, he owns a bike store. - Yeah, I remember you saying.

Funny. [chuckles]

One moment. May I?

Wow. [chuckles]

You're just gonna open this...

May I?

[sighs]

Well, please.

[Pia and Karo chuckle]

- Wow. - [Karo] Mm-hm.

[buckle clicks]

[Karo chuckles]

Okay.

[all chuckling lightly]

Ah... How... How do I, uh... How do I get this off me?

- [airbag blasts] - [Karo] Oh!

[intriguing music plays]

Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

- It's only meant to happen in an accident. - [Karo gasping]

- [Pia] You got it? - [Karo] Uh... Agh!

- [Karo inhales, chuckles] - Oh my God. Sorry.

Hey, we can fix that, no problem. Should we go to the bathroom?

- Yeah. - Yep.

[Karo] Unbelievable.

Uh, why don't you just go ahead and take this from me, okay?

Honestly, Jan. It's okay.

[chuckles softly]

[Pia] Karo.

- [Pia] Karo, please just wait... - Oh fuck.

- [sighs] - [door opens then slams]

[man] Ugh, who messed up my table again? This is total chaos! Really. Unbelievable.

Hello.

Hi, I'm Jan. I came with Pia.

Um, well, they needed to take care of something.

Yeah, but you're in the wrong house.

Idiot. Hi, come in. I'm Sheila.

I'm just kidding. I'm Oliver. Hi.

- Kurt. - Hi.

But friends just call me Kay.

[sighs] Nobody calls you Kay.

It'd be cool for people to call me Kay.

Mm... Well, then. Hello, Kay.

All right, let's put the holy grail right over here.

Pia may have won last time,

but today we have no mercy and are not kidding around.

Yeah. Pia already hinted at that.

Come in.

Sit down. Make yourself at home.

Thanks. [chuckles]

Yeah, man, I was just saying to Karo, it's a really great house. Congrats.

You do the best you can, right? [chuckles]

Um, yeah. So Karo has a furniture mail-order business, right?

It must be going well.

Yeah, it's good. But I also contributed a large part too.

- And you have your own bicycle store? - Yeah, I do.

Does he even earn good money?

Hey, don't be so materialistic. I think he's great.

He's relaxed, funny and I feel really comfortable when he's around.

Then I guess he hasn't put an airbag on you yet.

So what are your favorite games?

More like strategy board games or quick and dirty card ones?

- No idea, I don't know. Um... - [both chuckle]

- [skeptically] Okay. - I like the Settlers of Qatar.

Catan, you mean?

Because Qatar would be a desert country on the Persian Gulf, you know.

I mixed them up.

- Silly me. - Oh right! I thought so.

[both chuckling]

[Oliver chuckling] Qatar.

Yeah, I also brought a game, by the way.

- Oh, I'll take a look. - Oh, let's see.

"Who Would." Never heard of it.

- [Sheila] Nope. - In this game, you have, um, cards and...

[Oliver] Well, I'm really into fantasy role-playing games.

I'm actually the Elven King of Toraca. Hm.

[Karo] By the way, Jakob finally quit.

After October, I'll need a new Chief Visual Content Designer.

Or better, a new female Chief Visual Content Designer.

- Ah. - I won't take "no" for an answer.

You can't mess around with your photo studio forever. It won't go anywhere.

I'm part of a photo exhibition next month. With a cool female artist collective.

But that won't finance a mansion for you.

If things with Jan get serious, you'll have to be the breadwinner.

So, how long have you two been a couple?

Um, one month exactly.

Yeah, well, I've been with Zora for five years now.

You were, huh?

- I am. - Hm.

- We're just... We're on a break! - Mm. Sure.

Come on, where are you? He's here.

Will you give me your number?

[cork squeaks and pops]

Yeah. Sure, I can do that sometime.

Uh-huh. Now?

Uh...

Spot of wine?

Yeah, thank you.

[light music playing]

[chuckling] Okay. 0-1-5-1,

7-4-5-5-8-6-9-1.

[liquid pouring]

[Jan's cell phone vibrating]

Number checks out.

- [chuckles lightly] - [cell phone continues vibrating]

[chuckles softly]

[Oliver sloshing wine in mouth]

[sighs] Yeah, hello?

Hello. It's Kay.

Hi, Kay. Man, what a surprise.

Just leave him be, Kurt.

So... what are you up to?

Huh?

Why are you asking that?

I'm right in front of you.

[Oliver's sloshing continues]

[chuckles softly]

[Jan's cell phone vibrates]

That one isn't me.

Um, sorry. I have to take this call quickly.

Oh, we'll be here all night. [chuckles]

Alex, just a moment.

A bike store?

[intriguing music playing]

[music fades out]

Sorry about that.

So, tell me. How much longer do I have to do this?

- [Jan] Do what? - Walk around the park here with Eddi.

Oh, right. Well, for me, it took six years until he got me a date.

Yeah. I'd be happy if he just went ahead and did his business.

How are things there?

Uh, it's a bit weird, honestly. But hey, the way they live here?

Fucking huge mansion.

Really? Sick, man. Do they have a pool?

I didn't even check that.

Yeah, they'll have a pool for sure.

Hold on.

[crickets chirping]

No, I don't see one.

Probably indoors, between the sauna and the fitness room. I bet you.

- [bird screeches] - [Jan gasps]

- [quietly] Oh fuck. - Wait, what?

Don't tell me they got tennis courts.

Oh fuck!

Helipad?

A bird just flew out.

A plane? They have an airplane?

No, a real bird flew out. A fucking parrot or something.

It just flew out the window, man.

What are you talking about? Are you high?

Here, little birdie. No, come here. Come over here.

Come here, little birdie. Right over here.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Come here.

Do you mean me?

- Jan, should I come? - Come here, little birdie.

Jan, are you in danger? If yes, say marmalade toast.

What are you saying, man? No marmalade toast, man.

It's in the trees now, the stupid animal.

Okay, understood. I got you, okay?

- Eddi, come. Come. - [Eddi barks]

Hello?

[bird squawks]

[mischievous music playing]

Come here.

[beckoning]

Come here. Here, come. Come here, little birdie.

Come on. Look what I got for you. Hey, look at me. Come on.

Agh. Fuck!

Asshole.

[Karo chuckling]

- Now we've really earned a glass of wine. - Oh yeah.

Oh! Did you get lost?

Don't get too close to me.

[both chuckle]

Did you find the others?

I did. I just had a phone call to make, in the hall.

- [chuckles] - [sighs]

- Is it really okay? - Yeah.

- Sorry, about that. - It's all good.

- Yeah? - I'm just happy you're here.

Come with me.

[Karo] I hope you brought your appetite. Been slaving away in the kitchen all day.

It'll just distract everyone from playing the game.

[Karo] Bread and games, even the ancient Romans knew that. Or was it the Greeks?

[Oliver] Yeah, but bread. They never said anything about guacamole.

[Pia] Mmm. What did you put in there? It's delicious.

- Well, avocado. The rest is secret. - Mm-hm.

[chuckling]

Avocado comes from the Aztecs and means testicle.

- Mmm. - [Pia] Thanks for that great fact.

[Sheila] Zora loves guacamole.

Mm. My girlfriend.

- Yeah, you mentioned her earlier. - Ah, well, ex-girlfriend.

How many times do I have to say? We're just taking a break.

That's lasted for half a year now.

Okay, shall we?

[Oliver] Let's go. As always, we'll start with Activity.

May the best one win.

[all] And may I be the best one.

[Oliver] Good luck.

[mischievous music continues]

It's a ritual of ours.

[chuckles]

Cool.

[music fades out]

Mm. Mm! We met at one.

- Um, park! - Yeah, yeah!

- Um, and put dinosaurs in front. - No idea. Um...

- Dino park? - Huh?

No, no, no. Come on, Jan. You know this one.

Okay, come on. Jurassic Park. Okay. Um, what am I allergic to?

[chuckles] Uh... nuts?

[chuckles]

Look, all night long I've been snacking on nuts.

I can't be allergic to them.

If she was allergic to nuts, she wouldn't eat nuts.

- Hey, Kurt. - Fish. She's allergic to fish.

It was Jaws. Next one. Oh, you know this one.

Okay... Smooch... blubb.

- [Jan] Huh? - [Kurt] Stop!

- [all] Titanic! - [Oliver] Everybody knows that!

- My favorite movie. - What, really?

Nil, zero, nada, niente. Sorry.

Sorry, I'm not smart enough for this game, I guess.

If I shall lose, I'm glad it's with you.

Man... I'm getting jealous watching you two.

- You know, when Zora and I first met... - Okay, come on. Next round. Whose turn?

[Karo] Ours.

[chuckles] Hola. Um, Emma's asleep.

Thanks. You can call it a day, Gabriela.

Or do you want to play with us?

I'm sure she has better things to do. Have a lovely evening.

Sí. Have a good night.

- Hossa, eh? - Huh? Hossa?

Hossa. They say it in Mexico.

[chuckling softly]

It must be such a huge help for you to have an au pair.

Yeah, but I usually take care of the little one myself.

Well, the other day, Emma called Gabriela "Mommy" instead.

The both of them were playing house when she said it.

All right. Anyway, Emma is very keen on her.

Yeah, just like you, right? Hossa.

Huh? Nonsense. I've already got my hands full with Helmut Kohl.

Oh, right. Oli has a bird called Helmut Kohl.

A cockatoo. I had another called Angela Merkel.

But Helmut Kohl hacked her to death.

Fucking patriarchy.

You see, when birds are kept in cages, they often get aggressive.

That's why our Helmut Kohl is free to fly around our study.

Please, never open that door.

Okay and, uh, just theoretically, if he flew off, he'd...

come back again, no?

Oh, I don't even want to think about that. This neighborhood has lots of cats.

Helmut wouldn't survive for that long. Mm-mm.

My God. How scary, I love Helmut Kohl!

The two of them came to my studio once. It was so cute.

Okay, enough talk about the bird.

You can never talk too much about Helmut Kohl.

After all, he's the cockatoo of unified Germany.

[Oliver laughing] Not bad, not bad.

[Oliver and Pia laughing]

- Where's the loo? The... the toilet, I mean. - Uh, down the hall, around the corner.

Yeah, but sit down, okay? Nah, just kidding. I don't do it either.

No, I always sit down.

Great. You've scared him off with your cockatoo talk.

Yeah, or you did with your Zora nonsense.

- "We're on a break." - [Sheila] Yeah, that's what it is!

[intriguing music playing]

[singer vocalizes]

[sighs]

Jan! Jan!

- Thank God you're alive, man. - Eh? Of course I'm alive, man.

What are you doing here?

You said marmalade toast.

The code word! [sighs]

What? Dude, "no marmalade toast" is what I said.

Yeah, and within "no marmalade toast" are the words "marmalade toast."

Yeah, man. But also "no." The word "no." Man...

Where's Eddi?

I gave him a rubber bone and turned on the Beethoven movie.

Right, okay. Now that you're here,

find the fucking bird.

What? What fucking bird?

This cockatoo, man. It escaped and now it's flapping around here somewhere.

- You mean a real cockatoo? What? - Yeah, a real cockatoo. A white one.

Okay, challenge accepted.

Jan! Jan!

What?

- What does it sound like? - I don't know.

[both in high-pitched voices] "Cockatoo"? Cockatoo.

- [Alex] Higher. Okay. Got it. - [both] Cockatoo.

[both] Cockatoo.

How would I know that?

Download a bird app that makes bird noises, okay?

Okay. You can count on me!

Oh yeah? Like how you convinced me an airbag was a great idea?

- What happened with the airbag? - It inflated.

Yeah, it's supposed to inflate, it's an airbag.

Forget it, man.

Okay. Fuck.

[intriguing music playing]

- Hey, Siri. - [on phone] Yeah?

What sound does a cockatoo make?

[sound recording of cockatoo screeching]

[cockatoo screeching continues]

Oh fuck.

[intriguing music intensifies]

[singer vocalizes]

[indistinct chattering from house]

[music fades out]

[window creaks]

[hair dryer whirring]

[hair dryer stops]

- Oh fuck. I'm so sorry. I got lost. - Ah! No.

- [Jan] I'm sorry. - No, no.

Todo bien. Todo bien.

All good.

Sorry.

Mm. That's the way upstairs.

Uh...

Did you make the food?

Yeah, but you know, Karo works a lot.

It's really good. Thank you.

I'll go now.

Gabriela, we need more guacamo...

I, um, was about to go. I got lost...

Hallway and around the corner, I remember saying.

Not down the stairs, end of the hallway, last door.

Oh. I went too far, I guess.

Hm.

Ah, the guacamole.

- Thanks. - Yep. Okay.

Shall we continue, then?

Yep.

Watch this. Bam, bam, and...

- Oof! - [Jan] Okay.

You've been blocking me the entire time.

I don't think I'll give you a job after all.

- [Pia] Very funny. - A job?

Yeah. Pia's going to be my new Chief Visual Content Designer.

- [Sheila] Oh, really? - Will you close down your studio, then?

Um, nothing's been decided yet.

Well, eventually you'll have children, so a career won't be easy.

Maybe Jan doesn't want kids.

And maybe it's also a little bit too early to talk about that.

- Have you had sex? - Kurt!

How about we continue the game?

- [Oliver] My turn? - Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

Uh, I'll get it.

Oh! Who could that be? Hopefully not our freak neighbor.

- [Pia sighs] - [Oliver] Hey! Good to see you!

- Got a card? - Uh, yeah.

- [Jan] Bam. - [Pia] Ooh.

Okay. Watch out!

- I'm very sorry, but I just won. - [Jan] Not bad.

- [Pia chuckles] - [Karo] Well played.

[Oliver] Hey, look who's here!

Good evening, everyone.

[pensive music plays]

[man] For good luck tonight.

Hello.

- Matthias. - Mat.

Jan, hi.

Hi.

- Jan and Pia already had sex. - Kurt.

[chuckles lightly]

[Mat] Okay.

I guess the ice has been broken, huh?

[Oliver and Mat chuckling]

Sorry, I didn't know you'd bring someone new.

I hope it's not awkward with the ex suddenly showing up? Ha.

- Honestly? - Nonsense, absolutely not!

I brought a little gift for Emma.

- Is the cutie already asleep? - [Oliver] Yes, fortunately.

I mean, unfortunately, yeah.

- Then I'll just leave it next to her crib. - [Oliver] That's nice.

- [Mat] She'll enjoy it tomorrow. - [Oliver] Thank you.

[Oliver chuckling]

- Are you stupid? - [Karo] Did you know about this?

Huh? [scoffs]

- So what? This is my house. - My house.

Our house. And Mat is our friend.

- And he's my ex-boyfriend. - Yeah.

Ugh...

- You mean your ex... - Kurt, come on. Leave it, seriously.

Well, I would be happy if Zora were to show up here.

Yeah, I guess that's how different we are.

Oh God, that... I didn't know this would happen.

Wanna go?

Uh, I don't know. It's up to you, I guess.

That went fucking terrible, but let's just try and make the best of it, right?

We're all grown-ups after all. Hm?

Yeah.

I have an appointment with him next week. I don't want him taking it all out on me.

- Yeah, Mat is our dentist. - Ah.

- Not mine anymore. - Huh? But you just went to see him.

For an emergency.

[Mat chuckles] Good God, she's so cute.

- [Oliver] Just like her father! - Yeah, such an angel.

- [Oliver] Come on, sit down. - [Mat] Thanks.

Yeah.

How is my sweet Luna?

Good, good. She has a new best friend.

Eddi, who is Jan's dog.

Oh. We bought Luna together.

- Or rather... - Rescued, right?

- Rescued her. - Yeah.

- Cool. - Yeah, she's our baby.

Ah.

I'll, uh, get more wine. Wanna come with?

- Ah, a nice spot of wine. - No, I'll get the wine.

Um, did someone win?

Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry.

This is a total disaster.

- [Oliver] What's new with you? - You sure we shouldn't just leave?

Wouldn't it look like I was scared?

That doesn't matter, does it?

Karo's right. We're all adults, after all.

- Also, I don't think it'll be that bad. - Mm.

But is there anything else I should know about?

You already know more than you need to.

- All good? - Mm-hm.

[Pia chuckles]

[cockatoo screeching over phone]

[dreamy music playing]

[singer vocalizing]

[cockatoo continues screeching]

You know what? We should drink Oli's fanciest wine.

- Do you know anything about wines? - Do I look like I do?

Mm.

This one looks really fancy.

Excellent choice.

[Pia] Wow. When I cook, the kitchen's a total mess. But Karo...

[background chattering]

[sniffs]

Hm.

[doorbell rings]

- Another ex of yours? - Um...

- Ha, ha. - [Oliver] I'll get it.

They've come back.

They're my friends.

Not you. The wild boars. I saw one in your yard.

[Oliver] I don't think so. I recently fixed the fences.

- I'm quite sure... - Why don't you enjoy a relaxing evening

in front of the television for once, Mr. Fieper? Hm?

Goodbye now.

[door closes]

So the neighbor is watching the yard. We really need to watch out for him.

What a nice and smart summary, good job.

- [Jan] Probably a cat. - [Pia] Give it a rest.

You said so earlier about how there's a lot of them in the area.

- [Mat] Excuse me. - [Oliver] Mm-hm.

I don't want them on my freshly-poured concrete.

- Freshly-poured what? - The foundation for our play tower.

Ah.

[pensive music playing]

- [cement squelches] - [Alex gasps]

Oops.

Say, what's going on with Activity here?

You see, me and Pia, we never lost a single game.

Jan was a bit slow on the uptake.

But well, he does prefer playing "The Settlers of Qatar."

[Oliver and Mat chuckle]

Like "Monopolo."

[both laughing]

- We're playing, Jan. Just joking. - [Mat] Ah... Yeah, cheer up.

If you've been friends as long as all of us,

there are of course some inside jokes.

When we go on vacation, we devote whole nights to playing Activity.

Mm-hm. Oh, that reminds me.

We should book the house, otherwise it'll be gone.

I already talked to Papadopoulos.

Crete. Greece.

We always go there as a group.

Come with us.

I don't think we need to make vacation plans right now.

Okay. Good.

Here we go! Trivial Pursuit.

Okie-dokie. Time to pull out that general knowledge.

[Mat] Yeah.

- What did you study at university? - Um... nothing.

[chuckles] For 16 semesters.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

And after your A-levels, you did some traveling?

That was a dream of mine.

- I traveled during my A-level. - "My A-levels."

Yeah, I know.

It doesn't matter. [chuckles]

- Jan owns a great bike store. - Oh wow.

Well, I need a new bike. I'll stop by sometime.

Mm.

- Can you live off that job? - Yeah.

Good thing there are enough dentists who I can sell overpriced e-bikes to.

- [Kurt and Oliver chuckle] - [Karo] Are you good with your hands?

Maybe you could help Oliver with his play tower.

Help's not necessary. That thing's solid.

- [cement squelching] - [Alex grunting]

[quirky music playing]

[dog barking]

Oops.

[Helmut Kohl shrieks]

[Helmut Kohl vocalizing]

Here's some more snacks for everyone.

- Ahh! - [Karo] Would anyone like some?

- [Oliver] What is it now? - Yeah. Is the salsa spicy?

[Karo] A bit.

- Mm. No, thanks. - [Oliver] Okay.

- I'll be the quiz master, yeah? - Yeah. The newcomer starts.

- Okay. - Mm.

May the best one win.

[chuckles]

Okay.

Ah, okay. This one is for science and nature.

Under what name is ascorbic acid better known as?

Mmm... aspirin?

[Kurt] Not even close.

Vitamin C.

Can you say aah-spirin again?

[Jan] Hm.

- Uh, no. - Ah.

Ah, yeah, yeah. Number 32 has a cavity.

Someone should take a look at that.

Best to call me personally, otherwise you'll wait six months for an appointment.

- Mm-hm? - History.

[Oliver] History.

In which year was the Berlin Wall fully completed?

Oh, uh, it fell in '89...

- Yes. - And, um...

- Well? - Mmm, um, um, um...

- '63? - Ahh.

[Mat] Close. '61.

[Oliver] Wow, Mat knows everything, doesn't he?

- [Mat] August 13th. - Huh, what was that?

[Pia] Know what time?

Why don't you tell me, uh, you and Zora. Why did you end up taking a break anyway?

Oh, um... thanks for asking.

So Zora just wanted a bit of distance.

[Jan] Mm-hm.

Like, supposedly, I didn't give her enough space.

Yeah, but I believe that in the long run, this will strengthen our relationship.

[Sheila] Yeah.

- Hmm. - Mm.

[Helmut Kohl flapping]

- What is... - Do you actually have a photo of her?

Um, yeah.

Hey, hey, we shouldn't get into this now. Better not.

Here. That's her.

She posted that on her Instagram two days ago.

Also, I gave her that blouse as a gift.

Yeah, those are the small, hidden signs she's giving.

- The signs. Yep. - [Sheila] Mm-hm.

- Yeah, she looks nice. - [Pia] Mm.

She is. Hmm, says last online

2:17 a.m.?

Yeah, well, okay.

Probably couldn't sleep, poor girl.

Or she was partying. Ha.

[Oliver] Yep.

Mm-hm. Maybe to take her mind off things because she misses me.

- You should stop stalking her on WhatsApp. - Mm-hm.

I wasn't stalking. That just gets displayed on there.

- And she's my girlfriend. - [Karo and Oliver] Was.

Just delete her number.

There, look at this. I've been working on this text for a while. What do you think?

Um...

I don't know. It could be

maybe a little too intimate?

Is that still the same message?

It is, I just reworded it again a little bit.

- Mm, okay. - Yeah.

Um...

Where is it?

Huh?

Did you just press send?

- Huh, what? - [Sheila] Hm?

What? No, I didn't press... I hardly touched the phone.

[Sheila gasps]

[pills rattle]

- You did send the message. - No.

I would not have done that if I were you.

Okay, all right. Maybe I can still delete it.

Right, but then she'll see that...

Then... she'll see that I deleted the message.

[Sheila] Shit!

Oh man. Why...

Why did you press send, man?

That was a draft! It had some super embarrassing stuff in it.

- I didn't do it, Sheila. - Who else could have done it?

Oh man, Jan, dude...

If you had deleted the number, it wouldn't have happened.

Right. Right. Now it's my fault.

[Oliver] Sheila!

She... She'll calm down again.

- [Mat] Mm. - [Pia] God.

[Sheila slams door]

[Mat] Let me help you.

Modafinil? What's that?

That's a stimulant.

Well, as a pharmacist, she's got easy access, right?

- [Pia] Wow. - That's nuts.

Stop it!

So, shall we continue playing the game? Hm?

[Mat] Good idea. Keep your head up, Jan. Everyone fucks up.

Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan.

[intriguing music playing]

[Helmut Kohl shrieks]

Okay. Arts and literature.

All right. Um...

What collection of poems is Charles Baudelaire best known for?

I don't know.

"Les fleurs du mal," "The flowers of Evil."

Bravo, correct. Also, the correct pronunciation.

- Well... - [chuckles]

[Mat clears throat]

He who leans over his beloved In the throes of love

Resembles a dying man Who caressed his burial grave

- [Oliver] Bravo. - Oh.

He's a bad poet. It doesn't rhyme.

Remember? Montparnasse. We visited the tomb of Baudelaire.

And then suddenly it started raining,

and we had to run and seek cover inside this café.

The waitress brought a couple of towels.

We drank champagne and, oh...

This is what you wrote underneath on Instagram.

Hm.

"Thank you for the beautiful day."

- With a heart. - [Pia] Yeah.

[Karo] Hm.

[Mat] Yeah. With a heart.

Hm.

[Mat sighs]

[dice clattering]

- [Oliver] Geography? - Mm-hm.

What is the capital of the Bahamas?

Nassau.

- Oh, we went there. - Of course.

Just a sec. Wait. There.

["I'm Still in Love with You" by David Sharp plays on television]

- [Oliver] Cool. - [Pia] You can't be serious right now.

Yeah. That's Pia surfing. I taught her.

[Pia sighs]

- Ah! - Oh, nice.

Yeah. Wow. In the photos, everything looks so great.

- Yeah. We played golf too. - Ow!

Oh yeah. Mm.

Stop it with this bullshit. Hey!

- Wait, is that...? - [Pia] Seriously! Turn that shit off!

That's when I proposed to her.

Pia must have told you that we were engaged.

Were. What the...

Oh.

Oh, you didn't know about that?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to create an awkward situation.

[Kurt] Well, it is a very awkward situation now.

Awkward for Jan and for Pia.

Mm-hm.

Yeah, okay.

[song stops]

Forget all that. Kurt, Oli?

Oh. The dice just fell on the ground.

So maybe get it off the floor?

- Oh, wherever could it be? - Boy.

I can't find it. I guess we'll have to stop the game now.

- [Kurt] Too bad. - [Oliver] Nope, we'll just get a new one.

[Mat] Kurt. Ugh... Come on.

I'll roll for you or we'll never get moving.

There.

Which song by Rio Reiser was covered by the band Echt in the year 2000?

I don't know. I only know metal.

- Mmm. - What about Jan? Hm?

Come on, you know it.

- "King of Germany"? - [laughing]

Not even close.

[Oliver chuckling] No.

Hey, Pia, what kind of guy did you bring here?

[Mat] Um, where's the guitar?

- Yeah? Okay. - Yeah.

Guys, seriously. Not the guitar. Come on.

A bit of support.

Ah. Maestro.

- [Mat] Gracias. - [Oliver] Come on, guys.

- Some music to loosen everyone up. Come. - [Karo] Sure thing.

[Mat tuning guitar]

Oh God, I can understand you being angry.

And just so you know, I didn't even say yes when he proposed.

Why didn't you just tell me the truth?

Because it didn't mean anything.

So?

Yeah. Zora's online, but hasn't read it yet.

I do apologize. Even if it wasn't my fault.

Guys, come on. Don't be party poopers now. Get up. Come.

[chord sounds on guitar]

[singing "Junimond" in German] ♪ The world's looking up at my window ♪

♪ With tired eyes, all dusty and shy ♪

♪ I'm sitting up ♪

[in English] Mat is our rock star. He rocks. [chuckles]

[in German] ♪ I see you coming But you just walk by ♪

[cell phone vibrates]

ALEX: MARMALADE TOAST!

♪ But it doesn't hurt anymore No, it doesn't hurt anymore ♪

♪ Everything's quiet And no storms riot in me when I see you ♪

[in English] I need to get some fresh air.

[in German] ♪ It's over, bye, bye, bye, June moon ♪

- [in English] Do you want me to come? - No.

Alex needs my help. I'll just call him.

Okay. No problem.

[Mat and Oliver in German] ♪ It's over, bye, bye, bye ♪

[Mat singing faintly]

[mocking Oliver] "Oh, Mat is our rock star."

[dog barking]

[quietly] Alex?

Alex?

[sighs]

[dial tone rings]

- [Alex] Yeah. - Where are you?

In the yard next door.

Huh? What do you mean?

I'm just hanging out over here.

[suspenseful music playing]

Alex?

[Alex] Here. Up here.

[Alex sighs]

- What the hell? - Yeah.

That stupid bird went over here. And then suddenly, whoosh!

[chuckles] Now you know what a wild boar must feel like.

That's funny.

You may undo the rope. Over there.

[pensive music playing]

Yeah, but please be careful!

[shouts] Ugh!

- [in German] ♪ It's over, bye ♪ - ♪ It's over, bye ♪

[all] ♪ It's over, bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

- [in English] How are things over there? - It's a giant disaster.

On top of that, Pia's ex showed up.

- What? - Yeah.

What does he want?

Pia.

Then punch him in the mouth.

Yeah, I'm this close at the moment.

Or beat his ass at the board games.

- Who's that shitty singer? - The dude.

Ugh.

Then for God's sakes, punch him in the mouth.

[Jan sighs]

[all in German] ♪ It's over, bye, bye, bye, June moon ♪

♪ It's over, bye ♪

- [in English] I thought maybe you'd left. - On the contrary, I'm here.

- [song ends] - [Jan clapping]

- Whoo! Ah! - ♪ Yeah ♪

Whoo!

Yeah! That'll be a bonus point for sure.

I think we can all agree that in Trivial Pursuit,

Mat is simply undefeatable.

Yeah!

- Next game, The Saga of Toraca. - Oh, do we have to?

Yeah, we have to!

We haven't played Jan's game yet.

[Karo] Yeah.

Oh yeah. I'm sure that's great too. What's it called?

- Uh, "Who Would." - Do what?

Well, let's just start, and the rest will become clear as we go, right?

- Do we need writing pads? - Yeah.

Okay.

- [Karo] Sheila. - [Sheila] Yeah, yeah.

[Oliver] I'll sit up here.

There.

- And now? - [Jan] To start...

you take a card from the top of the deck and read it.

"Who would drink the others under the table?"

[Pia] Then you write down the name?

- Exactly. - Okay.

Hm.

- All done? - [Pia] Uh-huh.

Turn them over.

- [chuckling] - [Sheila] Why are you writing me down?

'Cause lesbians always drink? You drink a lot more.

- When do I drink more than you? - Every time.

There's nothing wrong with a little spot of wine now and then.

Just calling it "a spot of wine" is why I wrote your name.

- Ditto. - Look, Kurt.

You're living here in my house, I expect a little more respect.

"In my house"?

In our house.

Yeah, I also wrote your name, my friend.

- Oh yeah? - Mm-hm.

Wow. Okay.

Yeah, and Karo wrote my name. I'm totally cool with that.

Well, if I didn't have a career and child, I'd also drink more.

Also, Karo has offered Pia a job. What was it called again?

Chief Visual Content Designer.

Oh, that's wonderful news.

- [Karo] See? - Accept it.

Let's just let her decide for herself, huh?

- Oh. - Ooh.

Someone can't handle their girlfriend making more money.

And who is that?

Janni, it's called humor.

Okay, what's next, then?

Oliver got the most votes. So, he has to take a shot now.

Oh, strange game, but okay.

There.

Hey, guys. She read the text.

Oh God. Now I need a drink.

All right, "Who here would most likely become burnt-out?"

Hm, hm, hm.

- Ready? - Mm-hm.

Turn over.

[chuckling lightly]

Eh? Just 'cause I work a lot doesn't mean I'll get burnt-out.

Yeah, I also work a lot. A whole lot.

And that's why our relationship really suffered.

Yeah, Matthias? Tell us.

Was that before or after your trip to the Bahamas?

- Uh, both, actually. - Mmm.

Especially our sex life suffered a lot because of it.

Ugh.

Like, in the beginning, we just couldn't get enough of each other.

We'd basically fuck all day and night, everywhere.

- Mat, this isn't the place for that. - Is there a slide show of that?

[Mat] Pia, I never apologized to you.

Pia.

Um, if you lose a beautiful, and fascinating woman, such as yourself,

you have fucked up.

Really fucked up.

And I am sorry.

[pensive music playing]

[Pia] It's in the past.

Uh, but it's nice of you to say it again in front of everyone, okay?

Mm.

Yeah. Let's move on. Or did you want to sing another song?

[Karo laughs]

[Karo chuckles]

By the way, on Crete, a new archaeological museum has opened up.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah.

But I don't know if Jan is interested in culture.

I'm sure he can go biking there too.

Yeah, thanks. I am interested in other things, you know.

Oh? Like what?

- Um, for example, Jan collects antiques. - Ah.

Oh.

[Pia clears throat]

Yeah, the Boccelli bike.

- Bottecchia. Bottecchia. - Yeah.

A bicycle?

I've got a bike too, you know.

[laughing]

"Who would most likely be admitted to a psychiatric ward?"

Oliver.

- Oh, come on! - [Karo] True.

Yeah, you and your role-playing games, that really is a bit...

I mean, if you think therapy can help, go right ahead.

Well, if you guys ever came to one of those role-playing events, yeah?

Then you'd understand the fascination around it. But okay. Forget it.

Silly dress-up and fighting orcs?

I really don't know how that's fascinating, okay?

- All right, next card, please. - "Who'd play a naked game of ping-pong?"

Naked, yeah, but I'm not good at ping-pong.

Nobody wants to see you naked anyway.

I can play ping-pong and look good naked. Right, Pia?

- [Mat chuckles] - Oh, come on. Next card.

"Who'd most likely be able to tame a predator?"

Jan. Jan can do it.

Jan can definitely train any dog. Hm?

Yeah, but dogs are a whole different game than lions and tigers. Mm?

So, let's see.

[Mat] Are you guys serious?

That wimp?

I'll give you the tiger skin so you can lay naked on it.

And nobody thinks I could do it because...?

Oh, don't be silly.

Yeah, don't be silly.

See that, guys? I'm only ever picked for the shitty stuff.

Drinking, psychiatry. But fighting wild animals,

that's for others to do, right? Not the fat, stupid teacher.

- Nobody can defeat a predator. - Really, Oli. Calm down.

No, I'm sick of all of you seeing the loser in me, always.

- That's nonsense. - [shouts] It's not nonsense!

Nobody has respect for me here!

There's a fucking freeloader living in my house.

- And now my wife's ganging up on me! - In my house.

[yells] It is our house!

[Karo] Oli, come back!

- Who might he mean by freeloader? - Ugh.

- Ugh. - Emma?

Or Gabriela?

[Karo] Oli, come back!

[Pia sighs]

Well, your game really fucking sucks.

- Why don't you sing a song about it? - This is ridiculous. Both of you, stop.

What should I do when this bigmouth keeps provoking me?

- [Karo] You're not serious. - [Oliver] Leave me alone.

[Karo] Oli, take that off.

[Oliver] Just go away!

[Karo] Oli, please.

Just look away, then.

Well, congratulations. Now you've really got one foot in the psych ward.

[Sheila, laughing] Oli, what is this?

Forget Oli. I am Ogandur, the almighty King of the Elves.

[snickering]

Yeah, laugh it up.

But I can turn stone into gold and talk to plants and trees.

And at the events, all my subjects shall all kneel before me.

I'll stand, if that's all right. You're embarrassing us now.

Yeah, that's your greatest fear, isn't it? That I'll embarrass you.

For the facade to crumble.

The oh-so-perfect Karo who thinks she can run a company

and at the same time be there for her child,

and takes care of a big mansion,

and tells everyone what they can and cannot do, right?

I'm sorry, but settling for a mediocre life won't lead to happiness.

All of that ensures that we have a nice, comfortable life!

Where I hardly see you anymore,

'cause you have to pop some fucking pills three times a day just to function!

Those pills were for Karo?

Hm?

- They fell out of your bag. - Yeah.

- Why would you hide that from me? - Pharmacists are bound by confidentiality.

I bet Karo didn't hide from you that we have a sex problem.

We don't have a sex problem, we simply do not have sex.

Ha.

Okay, listen up. Quiz question.

How come Oli and Karo don't have sex anymore?

A, Karo's tired.

Or B, because her brother is nosy and asks follow-up questions.

Little hint, you can pick more than one answer here.

Is that why you hang around Gabriela so much?

What are you two doing down there anyway? Does she kneel in front of you too?

- Wow, that's not... - Oh, please.

She was wearing your red shirt before. The one I gave you.

Pop quiz, how did it get down there?

A, it flew there on its own. B, you took it off down there.

Little tip, the answer's B!

Giveth way!

- Um, Oli... - Ogandur.

[Sheila sighs]

- But, Oli... - Ogandur!

Wow.

[Jan's cell phone vibrates]

[Kurt] I didn't hear anything, by the way.

[Karo] Really?

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED! STUDY, NOW!

- [Pia] I didn't know how bad things were. - [Sheila] Oh, sweetheart.

[Karo] I'm doing fine. Really.

[Sheila] I know how you feel. You know, sometimes, with Zora...

Just give it a rest with that bullshit!

Hey, I got it. All good.

My God, you're the best, Alex.

Yeah. Uh, this is Gabriela. She's their au pair.

Ah, super funny story.

I happened to get lost, and then, uh, was suddenly in her kitchen.

- Um... - It happens.

Yeah. And Gabriela makes the best guacamole ever, yeah?

And the problem with her bike

is the chain keeps coming off, but I'm gonna take care of it.

- Okay. Can I have the bird now, please? - Yeah. Here.

Here.

[bird cooing]

- Here. - That is not the cockatoo.

Are you sure?

That's a regular fucking dove, man. Of course I'm sure.

Uh, okay. Um, maybe he won't notice it?

Maybe?

Alex, release that poor thing and find the right fucking one, okay? Please, man.

Yeah, got it. Okay.

- Yeah. Yeah. - [Jan growls]

Wow.

[chuckling]

SAGA OF TORACA

[epic video game music playing over computer]

I, Ogandur, King of the Elves, shall start my journey to Toraca and onward.

Follow me or forever stay here in the realm of the ignorant.

Monopoly?

- [Kurt] Mm-hm. - Yeah.

[epic music playing on computer]

[Karo clears throat]

Number five, enter the magic fortress. I shall fight the troll.

[Karo] He can't be serious.

- Hey, where were you? - I have another question.

Ugh.

Watch out! An orc's behind you. Orcs at nine o'clock.

Did you call me a bigmouth earlier?

[sighs] I'm sure he didn't.

Yeah, possibly, sure. Yeah.

Okay. Then we've got a problem.

You see, I don't like being called a bigmouth.

By nobody.

And certainly not by a weak-ass loser who sells bikes like you.

- Sorry about that, of course. - Hm.

- I didn't know that. - Mm.

You bigmouth.

Apologize!

[pensive music playing]

No.

Just say you're sorry, guys.

This is so annoying. We're gonna play Monopoly. Come on.

No, I won't let something like that slide.

- I challenge you to a duel. - Ugh.

[Karo] Mm.

- Let's settle this like men, then. - So you want a duel or what?

Yeah.

- [scoffs] - At ping-pong.

Pfft.

Ah, see, of course he chickens out.

You're a loser and lame.

If they had a ping-pong table, I'd kick your ass so hard.

We have a table downstairs.

Mm-hm. I have an idea that's much better than Monopoly.

["Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg playing]

♪ Snoop ♪

♪ Snoop ♪

♪ When the pimp's in the crib, ma Drop it like it's hot... ♪

Well, at first glance, it's a draw.

This is my first time seeing a dick in 20 years. Can't say I've missed it.

- [Sheila chuckles] - As for me, we can call off this nonsense.

Then you should cheer for your man. Or do you want to leave him hanging?

[both laughing]

Penis jokes. How original.

[Kurt] Matthias to serve.

- Wait a minute, what are you playing for? - I thought it was Pia.

[Sheila and Karo chuckling]

Not funny.

The loser has to chug a bottle of chili sauce.

Or is that too much for you, pussy?

- Mat can't handle spice of any kind. - Yep.

[Mat] No, no. No problem.

Okay, then.

- 'Cause I'll win. - The loser has to chug chili sauce!

[sighs]

[exhales sharply]

- [Karo] Ooh. - [Mat] Yes!

One-nil, Matthias.

Did I mention I used to play in a club for years?

No, that's the one thing this evening you haven't yet bragged about.

[Karo] Ooh.

[chuckling]

- [Kurt sighs] - [Mat snickers]

Two-nil, Matthias.

I wanted an opponent, not a victim.

[exhales deeply]

[intense electronic music playing]

Bam!

[groans softly]

Yes!

Bang!

[music stops]

- Ooh! - [all] Ahh!

[Jan] Ow.

10-3 for Matthias.

Seven match balls.

[Jan groans softly]

That looks like castration.

That certainly takes balls.

[Mat, Karo and Sheila laughing]

[Karo continues laughing]

- [soundscape muffles] - [pensive music playing]

Hey, good?

[Jan breathing deeply]

- [Mat grunts] - [Sheila] Ooh!

[Sheila chuckles]

Point for Jan. 10-4.

[Mat grunts]

10-5.

[intense electronic music playing]

[Kurt] 10-6.

10-7.

Shit! Come on!

[Jan] Who's the victim now?

- Come on! - [shouting]

- [grunts] - [music stops]

[gasps]

[Kurt] 11-10.

Match ball for Jan.

[Mat] Ugh.

[Karo gasps]

[Jan chuckles] Oh.

[Kurt] Wouldn't you rather use a new ball?

[exhales deeply]

- Yeah! - No!

Victory for Jan!

Yeah! Yeah, man!

Looks like the victim just won, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yes, yes, yes! Yes! Yes!

Yeah, baby.

- [Pia] Yeah. - [Jan] Mmm.

[Pia] Jan.

Yeah.

[upbeat music playing]

[music fades out]

[Karo] Hm. I wouldn't do that.

Remember my piri-piri chicken? You had that coming out of every hole.

[Sheila's phone vibrates]

Message from Zora.

Um, yeah, I won't read it straightaway, right?

- Otherwise, she thinks I'm fucking... - God, just check it already.

[Sheila] Yeah, okay. "I'll call you in a bit." And a smiley.

Not the normal smiley, but the smiley with the red cheeks. That's a good sign, right?

Signs are often not what they appeareth to be.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[suspenseful music playing]

I would've done it myself.

But I'm the winner.

[Mat gulping]

[exhales]

[shakily] I barely feel any...

[gasping]

[chuckling quietly]

[retching]

[suspenseful music continues]

[music fades out]

[grunts, retching]

Look who's the asshole loser now, bitch.

[crashing and clanging]

[heaving and retching violently]

[Mat coughing loudly]

What's wrong with you?

I'm not a fucking trophy! How about you go help Mat?

[crying]

You want me to help him?

- I'm going, okay? - Watch out! Orcs behind you!

[Karo] Enough!

- [Mat whimpering] - [screeching on computer]

[panting, wheezing]

Do you need help?

No.

[gasps]

[gasping]

[Mat exclaiming]

[Jan] Here. Try this.

[Mat groaning]

- [gasps] - I think it's best you lie down.

[angrily exclaims]

[Mat grunting]

- He didn't just drink the milk, did he? - Yeah.

I'll gladly get you a new one.

You can't buy this! I can only pump it.

[Karo sighs]

- This is the shittiest game night ever. - Ugh.

- [groans] - And I put so much effort into this.

Sure you did.

Gabriela cooked. So what?

Are you going to hold it against me 'cause I didn't make it myself?

I'm not, but why would you make that up?

Maybe that's just how it's done in Grunewald.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

How do you know that, anyway?

Yeah, Jan. Tell us how you ended up in Gabriela's room

just as she got out of the shower.

Yeah, I got lost. So what?

You got lost many times, whatever you were looking for!

Yeah.

[Karo sighs]

Where are you going?

What is this all about?

And this whole dick contest with Matthias the whole night?

And I don't mean figuratively speaking.

You both were literally comparing your dicks.

Yeah, but how is it my fault that your ex-boyfriend...

Sorry, no, your ex-fiancé joined us?

And by the way, he started it.

He started it? What are we, like, in fucking kindergarten or what?

- No, but we're at a horrible game night. - Yeah, a game night that was always fun.

When I wasn't a part of it? [scoffs]

Sorry I don't fit into your oh-so-perfect world of the rich and successful.

What are you even saying?

You people already won the Monopoly of life.

There are no fucking bike stores in Monopoly.

So what? Photo studios aren't either!

Yeah, that's why you'll start that job with Karo soon.

Then you can at least afford a fucking yellow street for a start.

You really did take a wrong turn somewhere today.

- Thought you were a little more relaxed. - Before tonight, I was relaxed as hell.

But you had to drag me into this fucked-up game here.

Oh, and by the way, I don't collect antiques.

There's just an old bike hanging up on my wall.

[Mat] Pia.

I truly am so sorry about everything.

But our kiss the other day, that kind of confused me a bit.

And ever since then, I... [retches]

[stifling vomit]

[Sheila] You kissed Mat?

- Why don't I know about that? - [Pia sighs]

[door slams]

Was that the emergency?

It was before us.

Well, before we were really a couple.

Wow, okay. I'm learning a lot about you today.

[scoffs]

Alex, forget the stupid bird. We're leaving.

Hm?

- Good evening. - [Sheila screams]

By the way, beautiful garden.

Hi. Hey.

Uh... Uh, the play tower.

That is, um...

Now it's not that anymore.

The structure... I guess... probably... yeah.

Bird? Wh... What kind of bird?

[suspenseful music playing]

[sighs]

Fuck.

Yeah. I feel you.

No. Man, my key is gone, fuck.

My girlfriend is gone.

Kind of a shitty night for all of us, isn't it?

Oh shit.

Hm?

Ugh, I probably lost it when I was caught in that fucking net.

You're kidding.

Dude, it was somewhere around here, wasn't it?

Strange.

What?

The net I was caught in.

It's gone.

[Alex and Jan grunting]

Oh God! Oh fuck! Uh-oh.

Yeah. Now you know what a wild boar feels like.

CLASSIFIEDS MISCELLANEOUS

"Help! Desperately searching for my white cockatoo, Helmut Kohl."

"Please help."

Exclamation point.

[Karo] Why didn't you tell me about the kiss?

Yeah. Why?

No idea. Well, it didn't mean anything.

- [scoffs] A kiss always means something. - A kiss always means something.

- You're annoying. - You're annoying.

You shouldn't give relationship advice right now, don't you think?

Okay, wow. That was mean.

You all acted like assholes, to be honest.

Yeah, and Jan did too.

Yeah.

Leave Jan alone.

He let Helmut Kohl fly off! Idiot.

And you invited Matthias. What were you fucking thinking?

He said you two might still have a shot.

After the kiss.

And I wanted to help with that.

And that's why in Trivial Pursuit

you only drew the cards that Matthias was prepared for.

You noticed that?

Huh? I'm not stupid.

She's not stupid, otherwise Jan wouldn't be with her.

Now what?

We wait, dude.

- What if that guy comes? - What if he doesn't come?

What if he ends up shooting us?

We didn't work our way up just to be shot dead in Grunewald.

Fuck, bro. The guy doesn't shoot people. He hunts wild boars.

Yeah? And what if he shoots first and then looks?

I'm so young, man. My whole life's ahead of me.

The store is finally turning a profit this year.

Why? Why now, goddamn it?

Yeah? What about me? I just dumped the woman of my dreams.

If I get shot now, then Pia will never know what she means to me.

- That sounds serious. - Yeah, it is.

Then we need to get out of here, buddy.

[straining]

[Jan] I think you have to... You have to turn over.

No, get over here. Shh!

Alex, that won't work! Argh!

Hey, guys, where is Mat?

Probably hugging the toilet. Serves him right.

[Pia's cell phone rings]

Hm.

Matthias?

[Mat] Pia, Pia.

- It's me. - Put it on speaker.

Please don't hang up.

I just wanted to say one more thing.

I love you.

And it just hurts me that you're with this... loser.

- And not me. Hey, you jerk! - [car horn honks]

Are you kidding?

Honk one more time, I dare you! I'm a dentist!

Pia, you deserve someone better. Yeah? Ha!

Me!

I am your king. And I'm a fighter.

And for you, I would even defeat a tiger.

Yeah! I'll go do that now.

Yeah, I'll put a bow on it and gift it to you. Pia!

I'm a predator! Rawr! Rawr!

This is so fucking stupid. All right?

Just drive to your house and sleep it off, okay?

[GPS voice] Turn left after 800 meters,

then you'll have reached your destination, Zoological Garden.

[Oliver] Does he really want to kill a tiger?

- [Pia] Matthias? - No!

- [Mat] We caress in the meadow. - Matthias?

The stars in our hearts!

[Jan] Hey. Can you reach my cell phone?

- [Alex] Where? - In my front pocket.

[Alex] Okay, wait. Let me try.

- More to the right, to the right. - Here?

No, no. No, that's the left, Alex.

Oh, oops.

- [gunshot fires] - [gasping]

[ominous music playing]

- [Jan] Shh. - [Alex] Mommy.

- Shh! Shh! - Mommy.

Oh fuck.

[keys jangling]

Please, please, please. Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

- Why are you in my garden? - We can explain everything.

- Yeah. - He lost his key over here.

- Yeah. - And what's his key doing in my garden?

I was catching the cockatoo so my friend wouldn't lose the woman of his dreams.

- [Alex] He texted me "marmalade toast." - Huh?

Please, our night's been really shitty so far.

Yeah.

Just let us go. And we won't tell anybody that you shot the bird.

[chuckles mischievously]

[Jan and Alex chuckle nervously]

I didn't kill him.

Here. I just subdued him.

He wouldn't have survived long out here.

We have a lot of cats in the area. Half an hour and he'll be good again.

Is it yours?

No. It belongs to Mr. Hoffmann next door. But can I have it?

- I don't care. - If you could let us...

Right. Of course, I'll do that now.

- But be careful! - But be careful!

[grunting]

[intense electronic music playing]

[singer vocalizes]

[doorbell rings]

[music fades out]

- Hey. - Hey.

Is that Helmut Kohl?

Yeah, but don't worry. He's just taking a little nap.

Hmm.

Mm. Come in. I've got the place to myself. We can chill, like buddies.

You by yourself? Why?

Everyone else went to the zoo.

But I was there the other day, so I said I'd stay here.

Hang on, Kay. Why did they go to the zoo?

Because of Matthias.

I don't get it. Why did that guy go to the zoo?

And what does this all have to do with my awesome game?

I'll explain later, yeah? Okay?

You can ride with me if you'd like, Jan.

Thanks, Kay. That's all right.

[determined music playing]

JAN CELL PHONE

[cell phone ringing and vibrating]

What an idiot.

You mean Mat or Jan? Or Oli?

- I can hear you. - I know.

Hmph.

Just as long as you two stick together.

Yeah, that's what I thought too, before tonight.

Yeah, I should have told you about the kiss.

This all sucks.

Give me that stuff now.

Oh, hey!

I don't like you taking those pills.

- Or that you're giving them to her. - Yeah, I agree.

Those are just placebos.

Huh?

Yeah. You kept wanting more and more, so I switched them.

I won't let you be a junkie.

Ugh, you all think I'm some messed-up workaholic, do you?

No, that's nonsense. I have huge respect for what you built for yourself.

But I don't want to work in your company.

Oh, I'm so glad. I just can't see you working a job job.

Job job? It was simply a kind offer between friends.

- It sounded like a command. - [hesitates]

Pfft. What?

You know, I just want to follow my own path.

I'd rather photograph cats and dogs, even if they pee all over my studio

'cause they're excited.

That's also why I'm with Jan, you know.

I mean, why I was with him.

'Cause he pees all over your place 'cause he's excited?

[chuckling]

[determined music continues]

My name's Kay. I'm best friends with Jan.

Okay.

No, just Kay. No O.

Holy shit.

[music fades out]

[Mat, in loopy, high-pitched voice] Ahh, pussycat!

Ahh! Pussycat. I'll get you!

- Pussycat! - Mat!

- We're coming! - [Karo] Oli? Goddamn it.

[car lock beeps]

BERLIN ZOO

Are you guys serious?

ZOOLOGICAL GARDEN STATION

Oh fuck.

[various animal calls and chirps]

Matthias? Are you here?

Ugh!

Guys!

He was definitely here.

Mat?

I can't believe this.

[Oliver] Hey.

[animal screeching]

- What are you doing here? - I need a moment to talk.

And you think that I want to talk to you?

If we didn't have to go rescue Mat right now,

I would hit you in the mouth so hard, you moron.

Yeah, that's fair. But we found Helmut Kohl.

- What? Seriously? - Yes, he's in your study. He's all right.

Again, I'm sorry.

[sighs]

Oh God, that's... Honey, Helmut Kohl's alive.

[Alex] Hey, sorry, guys, but is that...

Guys, does this look like vomit? Because it kinda looks like...

Breast milk.

[gagging]

[Pia] Shh.

- Shh. - Huh?

[cell phone ringtone playing]

Do you hear that?

[cell phone vibrating]

- [Oliver] Damn, he's really down there. - Face to face with the beast.

Holy shit.

- Matthias! - [Alex] Sorry, guys.

If you voluntarily climb into a tiger enclosure, you'll get eaten.

- [Oliver] Are you kidding, dude? - Yeah, sorry. Too bad. Natural selection.

- I'm going in there and getting him out. - Are you stupid?

- I'm sure I won't get eaten. - Famous last words.

- Zora. I'm gonna answer. - [cell phone ringing]

[Sheila] Watch out! Ow!

- Ew. - [gagging]

Why do men always think they have to save the world?

Because we have something to prove.

Yeah, right. Go fix it, then. Thanks and goodbye, best friend.

[Pia] Hey, watch out. Be careful.

Please be careful, okay?

[Jan] Yeah.

[dramatic music playing]

[Karo] He's actually doing this.

[grunts]

[whispers] Matthias?

[Jan whispers] Matthias.

[deep snoring]

[panting]

[tiger continues snoring]

[Pia] Jan?

Shh.

[Pia] Come back up. Come up, come up, come up.

[suspenseful music playing]

[gasps]

Fuck. Focus, man.

Come on. You got it.

[Pia] Give me your hand. Hey!

[Alex] You're almost there!

Fuck.

Jan. Keep going.

I can't.

Hey, what are you guys just standing around for? Do something!

[all] Like what?

[Alex] Rope! We need a rope.

- Yeah? - [Kurt] Yeah.

Jan. Hang on.

We're going to find some rope to pull you up, okay?

Pia, in case I get eaten.

I'm sorry that the night went so badly. But I was so nervous.

And when Matthias showed up, I was afraid I'd lose you.

And that's why you turned into Matthias 2.0?

You did kiss Matthias 1.0 again, after all.

I really regret it.

But I can't go back and undo it. Maybe it's a good thing.

Now I know that there are absolutely no feelings there anymore.

Unlike for you.

[tiger growling]

Jan.

The tiger's behind me, isn't it?

[tiger continues growling]

[roars]

[panicked gasping]

[all] Fuck!

[Jan] Okay.

[panting]

- [Kurt] I've got a rope! - [Alex] Where did you get that?

From the monkeys. But I promised them I'd bring it back.

- [Alex] You're a saint. - [Oliver] Jan, here!

Grab that!

[tiger snarling]

[tiger growling and roaring]

- [Pia] Come on, now! - [Oliver] All right, let's pull!

[intense grunting]

[Pia] Careful, careful, careful.

[Alex] Boy, oh boy. There.

- Dude. - Are you okay?

Almost lost my best friend here, didn't I?

- [Jan] Seriously. - What's going on here?

Huh? I thought you were in there.

Uh... Yeah, I wanted to go down there at first, but...

then I felt so sick again.

Watch out, it's somewhere around...

- [Alex] Yeah. There. - [Karo] Yeah, there.

Ugh...

Yeah, so I got some water from the vending machine over there. And...

Have any of you guys seen my phone? I took a selfie there earlier.

[Pia sighs]

- You really are a bigmouth. - P...

Yeah. And you sing like shit.

Who... Who are you, anyway?

Kurt.

Thanks, Kay.

Thanks. Thanks so much.

- [wolf howls] - [Pia sighs]

I'm also very sorry.

- It's okay. - Yeah?

Mm-hm. I guess it was a fun night, for the most part.

Yeah? [chuckles]

Mm-hm.

- Oh God. - Yeah, all right now.

Don't look. Let go, come on.

This is why my shirt was at Gabriela's.

["Spanish Entry" by Ralf Gscheidle playing on phone]

[Karo] You dance together?

Yeah. I was planning a surprise.

- An anniversary gift. - [song ends]

You've always wanted to dance Paso Doble with me.

She says I'm doing good considering I have no talent.

Hm.

Here's an idea. You go to a dance class with me,

and I'll join you for your next role-playing event.

- Mmm... okay. Agreed. - Mm-hm.

[Karo chuckling]

- I'll come too. - No.

It's just going to be us. And you're going to find your own apartment.

Well, Jan has a room that's free.

Uh, no. We both need our privacy.

Thanks, babe. We can shower again without him filming us.

What now?

How... about we keep playing?

- Okay. - Mm?

But my place. Without the others.

Mm-hm.

Zora says hello.

She was just too much of a pussy to break up with me.

- Now I've broken up with her. - Oh no. I'm sorry, darling.

Yeah, it's okay. Actually, she should feel sorry for losing me.

- Yeah. - So stupid of her.

[Karo] Absolutely.

Jan, thanks for sending that message.

At least it's resolved now.

It was me. I knew it would be best for you.

Are we going to the monkeys now? I have to return the rope.

[Pia sighs] Know what, Sheila...?

Not today. Another time.

- Okay? - Sure.

- [Jan] Okay. - [Kurt] I'll call you. I have your number.

- I'll call, I promise. - [Jan] Okay.

- [atmospheric music plays] - [indistinct chattering]

FOUR WEEKS LATER

[door opens]

- Hello! - [music fades out]

Hey! I thought you said tonight was game night.

Yeah. But I didn't feel like going without you.

Very good decision. Because we all know what your game nights can lead to.

Shh.

- I'm happy you're here. I'm making an ome... - [Eddi whimpering]

- ...let. - [all] Surprise, Jan!

[all laughing]

Sorry, but you're just part of the gang now.

Your apartment really is tinier than our hallway. Wow.

- I'll have an omelet too. - Mat will be a little late.

Just a joke.

- Okay! - Well...

[all] May the best one win.

[all] And may I be the best one.

[laughter]

[Oliver] Okay, we'll start with Trivial Pursuit.

- ["Game Over" playing] - ♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ We won't give up Until the final closure ♪

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ Ready to win Come on, we're getting closer ♪ [echoes]

♪ I'll flip the cards, you roll the dice ♪

♪ If we really have to play Are you the prize? ♪

♪ 'Cause in the end, it's just you and I ♪

♪ When it comes to you I better play it right ♪

♪ I'll lift you up, won't take you down ♪

♪ I will play all the rules Just to win your crown ♪

♪ And when it's done Let's get out of town ♪

♪ I will break every rule Not to let you down ♪

♪ I will break every rule Not to let you down ♪

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ We won't give up Until the final closure ♪

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ Ready to win Come on, we're getting closer ♪ [echoes]

[singer vocalizes]

[Helmut Kohl squawks]

♪ It ain't o... ♪ [echoes]

- [Helmut Kohl screeches] - ♪ Over ♪ [echoes]

♪ I'll play along, I'll play pretend ♪

♪ When things go wrong In front of your friends ♪

♪ But in the end When it's just you and I ♪

♪ Hope you can see That I played you right ♪

♪ I'll lift you up, won't take you down ♪

♪ I will play all the rules Just to win your crown ♪

♪ And when it's done Let's get out of town ♪

♪ I will break every rule Not to let you down ♪

♪ I will break every rule Not to let you down ♪

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ We won't give up Until the final closure ♪

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ Ready to win Come on, we're getting closer ♪ [echoes]

[singer vocalizes]

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ We won't give up Until the final closure ♪

♪ It ain't over till the game is over ♪

♪ Ready to win Come on, we're getting closer ♪ [echoes]

[song fades out]

[dreamy music playing]

[singer vocalizes]

[music fades out]