Original subtitles

( theme music playing )

( playing piano scales )

IS SOMEONE GETTING MARRIED?

AN OLD SORORITY SISTER. WE USED TO BE CLOSE.

- MORNING, NICK. - HI, SWEETIE.

- WHAT'S UP? - NOTHING.

HOW ABOUT WILD UNSUPERVISED COMPOUND PARTIES IN MY BACKYARD?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

( whispers ) SORRY.

FINE. BUT I WAS SUPERVISING IT.

Ben: DAD, IT DIDN'T EVEN GET OFF THE GROUND.

- ALBY SHUT IT DOWN BEFORE THE BAND PLAYED ONE SONG. - ALBY WAS HERE?

- JUST FOR A MINUTE. - WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY FOR A BAND?

- WANDA BROUGHT IT. - WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ALBY WAS HERE?

- WHAT DID HE WANT? - NOTHING.

KATHY MARQUART-- YOUR DAD WANTS HER.

- BUT DON'T WORRY, I GOT RID OF HIM. - HOW?

WELL, I TOLD HIM HE COULDN'T HAVE HER.

AND THAT HE COULDN'T HURT US ANYMORE NOW THAT WE'VE DIVERSIFIED.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND. - WEBER GAMING.

IT TOOK THE WIND RIGHT OUT OF HIS SAILS.

( door opens )

( gasps )

NO, I CAN'T SEE YOU.

- MOTHER. - NO NO.

- PLEASE? - NO.

- JUST LET ME TALK. - I CAN'T.

- WHY WON'T YOU? - HAVE YOU LEFT HIM?

NO.

ARE YOU GOING TO?

I HAD TO READ ABOUT YOUR WEDDING IN THE PAPER.

WELL, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T TELL YOU MYSELF, BUT--

I'M NOT MADE OF STEEL, YOU KNOW?

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

YOU'RE TRYING TO ROPE ME IN AND I CAN'T LET YOU.

THEY NEED YOU.

I CAN'T JUST SEE THEM ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR

AND THEN SEND THEM BACK TO THAT HOUSE OF YOURS.

YOU SHOULDN'T PUT ME IN A POSITION LIKE THIS.

IT IS SO UNFAIR. SO UNFAIR.

Woman: MOMMY, WHO IS IT?

( sighs )

- HI. - YOU COULDN'T TELL ME EITHER?

YOU HAVE TO LEAVE HER ALONE.

SHE'S ON LOPRESSOR FOR HER BLOOD PRESSURE.

SHE'S UNDER A LOT OF STRESS.

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

THERE'S NO REASON WHY WE SHOULD BE AT EACH OTHER, ALBY.

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIVE PEACEFULLY IN OUR SEPARATE SPHERES.

HOW COULD YOU THINK I HOLD ANY ANIMOSITY?

BECAUSE WANDA TRIED TO MURDER ME?

BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER COVERED IT UP?

BECAUSE YOU HUMILIATED ME IN FRONT OF MY FATHER?

- LET'S TALK. - ALL RIGHT. ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT WEBER GAMING, ALBY. I KNOW YOU KNOW.

THE COMPANY YOU STOLE FROM US.

I ACQUIRED IT FAIRLY.

I HAVE SOMETHING THAT COULD BE MUCH MORE USEFUL TO YOU.

I WILL DETERMINE WHAT'S USEFUL TO ME.

I'LL SELL YOU MY SEAT ON THE U.E.B.

NOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

IT'S YOUR TOEHOLD INTO OUR KINGDOM.

YOU CAN'T HAVE THE POWER WITHOUT A SEAT AT THE TABLE

AND YOU CAN'T VOTE ROMAN'S UNTIL HE PASSES.

IT COULD BE MONTHS OR YEARS.

ALBY!

( sighs )

I DON'T HAVE THE SAME FASCINATION WITH YOU MY FATHER SEEMS TO, BILL.

WITHOUT A VOTING SEAT ON THE U.E.B.,

YOU'RE JUST A PRETENDER.

I APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST AND WILL TAKE IT UNDER ADVISEMENT.

WHO IS "L"?

WHAT WAS "GREAT"?

OH, SHE'S, UH... MY EX-GIRLFRIEND.

OW.

GOD.

WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.

SO WHAT WAS GREAT?

( sighs )

COME ON, SARAH.

WE NEVER SAID WE WERE EXCLUSIVE.

I DIDN'T THINK WE HAD TO.

I... I DIDN'T WANT TO RUSH YOU INTO ANYTHING.

BUT, I MEAN...

YOU THINK I SHOULD JUST BE CELIBATE?

YOU COULD'VE BEEN HONEST.

OKAY, I'M BEING HONEST.

I THINK I SHOULD SEE OTHER WOMEN.

"WOMEN"?

PLURAL?

LOOK, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT--

I CAN'T TAKE THIS RESPONSIBILITY.

WHAT RESPONSIBILITY?

THE WHOLE "VIRGIN" THING.

I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY VIRGINITY.

I DON'T WANT TO PUT ANY PRESSURE ON YOU.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT READY AND I WOULD NEVER ASK IT OF YOU,

- BUT I CAN'T LIVE LIKE A MONK EITHER. - OKAY, I GET IT.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

I'M SORRY.

Leslie: V.F.W. FLAG RAISING TOMORROW AT 6:00 A.M.

AND BOX SEATS AT PIONEER HOWDY DAYS RODEO WITH THE KOHLER REP THURSDAY.

COULD ONLY GET THE BARREL EVENT.

MMM. THANKS, LESLIE.

PIONEER HOWDY DAYS.

EVERY YEAR EVERYONE TROTS OUT THEIR FLOATS,

JOSEPH SMITH IN THE CENTER OF THEM,

ONLY THERE'S NO SIGN OF HIS 34 WIVES.

YOU DON'T LIKE THE FLOAT?

OH, NO.

I'M JUST TIRED OF THE HYPOCRISY, SON.

HEY.

I'VE GOT TO INTRODUCE MARGIE AND YOUR MOTHER

AS MY WIVES-- TOGETHER,

AT THE CONVENTION IN WENDOVER.

( knocks ) SORRY.

AN ALBERT GRANT CALLED

ABOUT AN ATTORNEY'S EVALUATION OF A U.E.B. SEAT.

OKAY.

YOU'RE GIVING UP OUR SEAT ON THE U.E.B.?

NO. IT'S JUST A NEGOTIATION TACTIC.

( phone beeps )

- Barb: Hello? - HONEY, HI.

I WANT YOU TO INVITE SOME OF THE WEBER GAMING PEOPLE OVER

FOR THE AFTER-PARADE PARTY NEXT SATURDAY.

NOT A LOT, JUST FOUR OR FIVE PEOPLE.

HUH-UH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WEBER GAMING PEOPLE.

Sure you do. You know Larry Schoenfeld.

LET'S MAKE IT BIGGER THAN OUR LITTLE CIRCLE OF DON'S FAMILY AND KAREN.

DO YOU REALLY THINK LARRY SCHOENFELD WILL FIT INTO OUR CROWD?

I DON'T THINK PEG AND JOJO

WILL WANT A ROUND OF SHOTS.

JUST MAKE THE CALL.

I don't feel that I know him well enough to call him.

HOW FAR IS THIS GOING TO GO, BILL?

DON'T BE DRAMATIC.

GOODBYE, BILL.

- I'LL CALL LARRY. - NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

OH REALLY, I DON'T MIND.

WE'RE HAVING DINNER THIS WEEK ANYWAY; NEED TO FIRM THINGS UP.

WHO'S HAVING DINNER?

ME AND BILL, LARRY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND SUSIE.

YOU SHOULD COME.

( doorbell rings )

AS AN L.D.S. WOMAN, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SURROGACY?

WELL, IF THE COUPLE IS IN NEED, THEN--

THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

IF A GOD-FEARING COUPLE-- I MEAN A MAN AND A WOMAN--

CAN'T CONCEIVE, THEN WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH IT?

WELL, THEY'RE NOT EASY TO COME BY.

BARB... MARGENE.

MARGENE HEFFMAN? SHE'S A SURROGATE.

OH, I ASSUMED YOU KNEW.

WHEN SHE TOLD ME I WAS FLOORED.

I MEAN, THERE'S ONLY A HANDFUL OF THEM IN THE STATE.

IT'S HARD NOT TO THINK THAT LIVING JUST ACROSS THE STREET FROM ONE

ISN'T A SIGN OR SOMETHING, DON'T YOU THINK?

I MEAN, IT WOULD BE CARL'S SPERM.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR MYSELF SAY THAT.

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. JUST... CARL'S SPERM.

I TRIED TO TALK OUR HEAVENLY FATHER INTO LETTING US ADOPT,

BUT HE SAID THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER FOR US.

AND CARL IS CONCERNED

IF I CAN'T HAVE HIS CHILDREN, WHERE WILL HIS SPIRITS GO,

TO AN ATHEIST OR A METH ADDICT?

I WANT THIS SO BAD.

I'M PREPARED TO OFFER HER $50,000.

OH, DON'T RUSH INTO ANYTHING YET.

Alby: You told Bill I paid you a visit.

I DON'T CARE FOR THAT.

You and I need to have a more private relationship.

LOOK, WHAT DO YOU WANT? I'M BUSY, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKING DINNER.

YOUR HUSBAND STOLE WEBER GAMING FROM PAPA.

I HAVE MEMOS, CANCELED CHECKS.

I HAVE PILES OF EVIDENCE THAT SHOW PAPA WAS POISED TO BUY WEBER GAMING.

You are going to get Bill to give the company back.

NICKI, WHEN OUR FATHER WAKES UP,

THE FIRST THING HE WILL HEAR IS THAT YOU ARE A TITHE STEALER.

YOU STOLE $68,000.

And the sad part is, Nicki, he'd believe it

BECAUSE YOU ARE GREEDY AND AMORAL.

AND YOU KNOW EVERYONE KNOWS IT.

I HAVE STOLEN NOTHING,

and there's no way I could get Bill to return the company anyway.

WELL, YOU'D BETTER FIGURE OUT A WAY.

You hear me? Thief.

( phone beeps )

( sighs )

Margene: DON'T SHUT ME OUT.

ALL I WAS DOING WAS TRYING TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY OWN DESTINY,

MAKE MY OWN STORY FOR THE NEIGHBORS.

I JUST-- I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE UNWED MOTHER, THAT'S ALL.

IT'S LUDICROUS. AND I FEEL SORRY FOR PAM

THAT SHE EVEN THINKS IT'S A POSSIBILITY.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

I TOLD PAM I WAS A SURROGATE, BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE AN UNWED MOTHER,

AND SHE WANTS ME TO HAVE A BABY FOR HER AND CARL.

NOW I DON'T KNOW THAT THIS IS WHAT I WANT,

BUT IF I WANTED IT, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WANT IT.

WHAT IF I DID WANT IT? THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE A HYPOTHETICAL DISCUSSION

WITH YOU OVER WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO BE A SURROGATE.

I'D LIKE TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL WHEN YOU GET AROUND TO TELLING THIS TO BILL.

I'VE BEEN A BABY FACTORY FOR YOU, BARB.

IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?

I'M JUST SAYING YOU'VE BENEFITED.

I EXPANDED YOUR FAMILY WHEN YOU COULDN'T ANYMORE. WHY NOT PAM'S?

BECAUSE OUR PURPOSE IS TO BRING SUPERIOR SOULS INTO THIS FAMILY,

NOT GIVE THEM AWAY TO EVERY BARREN SUE, JANE AND SALLY ON THE BLOCK.

- ( doorbell rings ) - ( groans )

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

Girl: HI.

- Girl £2: HI. - YOU MUST BE BEN'S MOTHER.

YES. CAN I HELP YOU?

THESE ARE MY GIRLFRIENDS SISSY AND PENNY.

I DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT WEBER GAMING ANYMORE.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GET RID OF IT.

HAS BARB BEEN PRESSURING YOU?

NO.

DID SHE PROMISE YOU SOMETHING?

NO.

I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT WHAT IT'S DOING TO US AS A FAMILY.

MARGE IS GETTING AGGRESSIVE,

AND BARB FEELS PUT OUT TO PASTURE.

IT UPSETS THE BALANCE OF ONE-TWO-THREE.

HONEY, WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THINGS

JUST BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN DONE.

WE CAN DO THINGS OUR WAY. THAT'S A GOOD THING.

THE PRINCIPLE HAS BEEN PRACTICED A CERTAIN WAY

FOR OVER 3,000 YEARS.

THE KINKS HAVE BEEN WORKED OUT.

I DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH IT.

I'M CHANGING MY VOTE.

I'M SORRY. THE POLLS HAVE CLOSED.

( door closes )

STEP AWAY FROM MY NAVIGATOR.

I HAVE TO PICK UP MY DRESS.

BENNY THINKS HE WANTS TO BE A POLYGAMIST.

GET IN. GET IN THE CAR.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY SON.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE HIM.

FOR GOOD?

FOR WEEKENDS.

HE COULD GO TO CHURCH WITH YOU.

HE COULD HAVE DIFFERENT ROLE MODELS.

FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER, HE CAN LIVE WITH US.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT.

OH, WELL OKAY. FINE THEN.

YOU JUST ENJOY YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW.

NO, LET HIM COME TO THE WEDDING.

OKAY, YOU CAN BRING MY GRANDCHILDREN TO THE WEDDING,

BUT AFTERWARDS, BEN HAS TO STAY AND GO TO SUN VALLEY WITH US.

THAT'S YOUR HONEYMOON.

HE'LL BE SURROUNDED BY EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE.

SO YOU PACK A BAG FOR HIM AND YOU BRING IT TO THE RECEPTION.

- I HAVE TO GET BILL TO AGREE FIRST. - ( groans )

YES, BY ALL MEANS, YOU MUST RUN IT BY BILL.

( engine starts )

- Man on TV: I met her and I said this is the one... - Nicki: BARB?

...when you know it's right, it's right.

I looked at her and I could swear.

I didn't want to seem to forward, but I knew.

WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER GONE OFF TO? I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HER.

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT'S WRONG?

- NOTHING. - YOU'RE ALL PUFFY.

SCOTT WANTS TO SEE OTHER GIRLS.

WHAT GIRLS?

GIRLS THAT WILL HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

HONESTLY, WHERE DO YOU AND BEN FIND THESE PEOPLE?

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?

WHAT?

THE JEALOUSY.

I SUBLIMATE IT BECAUSE I'M SERVING A HIGHER PURPOSE.

IN YOUR CASE THERE'S NO HIGHER PURPOSE,

WHICH IS WHY IT'S A PROBLEM.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BAD THIS FEELS.

OH.

( sobbing )

I CAN'T COMPETE WITH THEM,

THE GIRLS THAT HE KNOWS--

I MEAN, THEY GO TO COLLEGE.

I'M SURE SHE'S LIKE DRESSING UP IN LINGERIE

- AND JUST LAUGHING AT ME. - LISTEN TO ME.

SHE IS A USED-UP HAG.

SARAH, YOU ARE AS FRESH AS A FLOWER.

THAT'S WHERE YOUR STRENGTH LIES.

MEN LIKE THE CHASE. IT'S WHAT KEEPS THEM INTERESTED.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

MAKE YOURSELF BETTER THAN THOSE OTHER GIRLS.

HOLD ONTO YOUR CHASTITY, BUT...

SHOW HIM WHAT HE'S MISSING.

( vacuum humming )

( car arrives )

WE'VE GOT TO RUN! WE'VE GOT TO GO. ALBY'S COMING!

COME ON!

KATHY, GET A SUITCASE.

HE'S GONNA GET ME! ALBY'S GONNA GET ME!

NO, HONEY, HE'S AFTER KATHY-- DAD WANTS HER.

- WHERE ARE WE GOING? - Joey: I DON'T KNOW!

FRANK'S GONNA GET YOU! HE'S GONNA GRAB YOU

AND HE'S GONNA GET YOU! OH!

Nicki: SHE SOUGHT OUT MY COUNSEL, BILL.

SHE COULD ONLY TELL ME. YOU SAW--

SHE DIDN'T EAT HER DESERT, SHE DIDN'T EAT HER DINNER.

SHE'S GOING TO WASTE AWAY TO NOTHING.

- HE ACTUALLY ASKED HER TO DATE HIM WHILE HE SEES OTHER GIRLS? - YES.

THERE ARE CORROSIVE INFLUENCES OUT THERE.

AND WEBER GAMING WILL ONLY OPEN THE DOOR TO THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU.

- DOES BARB KNOW? - NO, AND DON'T TELL SARAH I TOLD YOU.

I TOOK CARE OF IT.

BARB, I HAVE FINALLY COME TO MY SENSES.

ONCE AGAIN YOUR INSTINCTS WERE RIGHT.

I AM HAVING SERIOUS SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT WEBER.

I THINK WE SHOULD GET RID OF IT.

- WHAT? - WELL, IT'S A DAY LATE NOW.

YOUR SUPPORT MIGHT HAVE MATTERED EARLIER.

DON'T BE A SORE LOSER. LET'S JUST TRY AND...

FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET RID OF IT.

WHEN NUMBER ONE AND TWO THROW THEIR LOTS TOGETHER,

THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN'T ACCOMPLISH.

BARB, I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING

AND I WANT YOU TO STAY STRONG.

THERE'S A WHOLE SORRY CHAPTER AS TO HOW BILL GOT WEBER.

HE STOLE IT FROM THE U.E.B.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "STOLE IT"?

MY FATHER WAS GOING TO BUY IT FIRST,

BUT BILL WENT AROUND HIS BACK

AND THERE'S ALL THIS EVIDENCE, FILES--

NICKI, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, BILL WOULD HAVE TOLD ME.

- I DON'T KNOW THIS. - OH, BARB.

IT'S NOT BARB AND BILL ANYMORE,

YOU'RE ONE OF THREE NOW.

YOU GET 1/3 OF THE INFORMATION, IF THAT, ON A LUCKY DAY.

LOOK, I'M SORRY, IT'S TRUE.

DID YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS? DID YOU?

WE HAVE GOT TO UNLOAD THIS COMPANY OR WE'RE ALL DOOMED.

( sighs ) SO... I UNDERSTAND

YOU AND MARGIE ARE GOING TO DINNER WITH LARRY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND?

YEAH, JUST A QUICK BITE TOMORROW NIGHT.

OH. WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?

WELL, GEE, HONEY, YEAH, IT JUST-- JUST SLIPPED MY MIND.

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TELL ME ABOUT BEN?

OH, I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

( Ben and Margene chatter )

YOU CAN TAKE HIM.

BILL AGREED?

WELL, YES, HE'S A REASONABLE MAN.

I pray I find forgiveness in my heart for him.

- WHAT TIME DOES THE RECEPTION BEGIN? - 2:00.

- BARB. - WHAT?

NOTHING.

UM, JUST MAKE SURE THAT BEN HAS SOME SWEATERS.

THE EVENINGS CAN GET CHILLY.

- BYE. - ( beeps )

Ben: MOM?

HAVE YOU SEEN HER? SHE HASN'T BEEN DOWN HERE.

NICE PLACE.

I WAS THINKING OF GETTING ONE OF THESE FLAT-SCREENS.

- YOU LIKE IT? - YEAH, UM, I LOVE IT.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING THE FIELD WHILE YOU'RE DATING SARAH.

- WHO TOLD YOU THAT? - MY WIFE.

WHICH ONE?

YES, I HAVE THREE WIVES...

AND I'M COMMITTED TO ALL OF THEM.

AND YOU FOOLING AROUND WITH GIRLS ON THE SIDE

IS NOT THE SAME THING AND YOU KNOW IT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR SARAH?

I WOULD HOPE SHE WOULD FIND A GOOD, HEALTHY, COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP.

A POLYGAMIST RELATIONSHIP?

IF SHE HAS THE TESTIMONY FOR IT.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW UNHAPPY YOU MAKE HER.

I LIKED YOU, SCOTT,

BUT IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TREAT MY DAUGHTER WITH THE RESPECT

SHE DESERVES, THEN I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND HER.

( door slams )

- ( vacuum hissing ) - Lois: YOO-HOO.

( bird squawking )

HELLO.

YOO-HOO. YOO-HOO.

OH, GO ON.

SCRUFFY.

( shuts vacuum off )

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM?

ALBY, TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU, SISTER LOIS?

- TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE! - HAVE THEY GONE SOMEWHERE?

OH. WELL, I WILL PRAY FOR THEIR SWIFT RETURN.

I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY ARE.

REMEMBER THAT.

SISTER LOIS, I WOULD DO NO HARM

TO JOEY AND HIS WIFE AND SON.

BUT EVEN IF I DID, YOU'D NEVER FIND THE BODIES.

GOT YOUR NOSE. ( chuckling )

WHAT DID I DO?

YOU THINK THAT I OVERREACTED ABOUT THAT GIRL?

NO, IT'S-- IT'S...

- WHY ARE WE BREAKING UP? - SARAH, YOUR FATHER CAME TO SEE ME.

( sighs )

WE SHOULDN'T BE ANYWHERE NEAR EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW.

PLEASE DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO US.

I THINK HE'S CRAZY.

HE JUST THINKS THAT HE HAS A CALLING.

WELL CLEARLY. I'M SURE HE'S JUST TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU,

BUT THINGS WERE DIFFICULT ENOUGH BETWEEN US BEFORE

AND NOW THAT HE'S INVOLVED...

HEY, LOOK,

I AM ALWAYS GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU.

NO.

I CAN'T.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BE DOING THIS.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

I WANNA BE WITH YOU...

LIKE WE ARE.

I DON'T MIND SHARING YOU.

NO, IT CAN WORK.

Valet: THANK YOU.

WE'RE NOT WANTED HERE.

NO, I'M NOT WANTED-- YOU'RE FINE.

JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

( whispering ) THAT'S YOUR COUSIN HOWARD THERE.

- BE SURE TO SAY HELLO TO HIM. - Ben: WHAT'S THE SUITCASE FOR?

- WHAT'S THE SUITCASE FOR? WHAT'S GOING ON? - ALL RIGHT, BENNY,

LISTEN TO ME. I AM YOUR MOTHER. I HAVE A SAY.

YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME FOR A CHANGE.

- HELLO, BARB. - HELLO, HOWARD.

- YOU LOOK WELL. - THANK YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY ANYTHING TO MY WIFE OR CHILDREN

ABOUT JOSEPH SMITH OR OUR CHURCH LEADERS OR CHURCH TEACHINGS.

IF YOU TRY TO CONVERT ANY OF US TO YOUR NEW BELIEFS

OR GET US TO READ ANY UNAPPROVED LITERATURE--

OH, BEN, YOU'RE HERE.

OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.

AND TEENIE, DARLING. OH.

AND LOVELY SARAH.

OH, WELCOME, ALL OF YOU.

WHY ARE YOU ALL DRESSED UP?

- I'M ATTENDING. - NO NO NO NO.

I SAID THE CHILDREN. OH, YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME.

CINDY, SHE MISUNDERSTOOD ME. SHE MISUNDERSTOOD.

WOULD YOU EXPLAIN IT TO HER? CHILDREN, COME WITH ME.

COME INSIDE. HOWARD, YOU COME TOO, HUH?

- COME ON, EVERYBODY. - Sarah: MOM.

JUST A MINUTE.

MOMMY'S ON A VERY SHORT LEASH.

NED'S CHILDREN DON'T APPROVE OF HER. SHE'S TOO LIBERAL

AND THEY HAD A FIT WHEN MOMMY AND NED WERE SEALED IN THE TEMPLE.

- THEY WERE SEALED? - NED WANTED IT THAT WAY.

BUT MOMMY IS SEALED TO DADDY.

WELL, NED WANTED TO BE SEALED, SO SHE WAS UNSEALED TO DADDY

AND NED'S CHILDREN DON'T WANT NED TO HAVE TO SHARE VERA IN THE AFTERLIFE.

SO THE LAST THING MOMMY NEEDS IS TO HAVE YOU GALLOPING AROUND

HAVING A LITTLE POLYGAMIST MELTDOWN. HUH?

NO, I'M STAYING.

WAIT ONE COTTON-PICKING MINUTE.

SHE PACKED A SUITCASE AND EVERYTHING. I JUST FOUND OUT.

- What? - Mom's making me stay.

You've got to come get me, Dad.

Aunt Cindy and all the gross relatives are here.

I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH GRANDMA, BUT MOM WON'T LISTEN.

SHE SAID I LOST THE RIGHT TO MY OPINIONS.

- WHAT'S WRONG? - BARB'S ABDUCTED THE CHILDREN.

- SIT TIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, BEN. - WE SHOULD CANCEL DINNER.

NO, THIS'LL TAKE FIVE MINUTES.

( classical music playing )

Nancy: AND I HOPE THIS TABLE'S HAVING A LOVELY TIME.

BEN, YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THE AIR FORCE ACADEMY.

- NED'S A RETIRED COLONEL. - I WAS, I'M NOT SO SURE RIGHT NOW.

- Barb: OH, HE LOVES PLANES. - WELL, IT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE AMBIVALENT ABOUT.

ARE YOU SEEING ANY GIRLS? ANYONE SPECIAL?

YEAH. TWINS.

( Cindy laughs )

JENNIFER, I HEAR YOU JOINED THE DRILL TEAM.

- THAT'S EXCITING. - GOODNESS, THEY MUST BE

AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS OVER YOU.

NO, THEY WANT TO MARRY THE SAME GUY, SO THEY'RE HAPPY.

- ( thuds ) - OW.

BENJAMIN, YOU'RE BEING INTENTIONALLY PROVOCATIVE.

I THINK THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ALLOW US TO PRACTICE OUR RELIGION OPENLY.

WELL, YOU CAN SERVE YOUR COUNTRY AND SERVE YOUR GOD,

BUT I GUESS IN YOUR CASE YOU CAN'T DO BOTH.

Jennifer: WE'RE SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK, AUNT BARB.

WILL YOU HAVE TO BE REBAPTIZED?

I'VE TOLD EVERYONE THAT YOU'VE LEFT BILL

AND ARE RETURNING TO THE CHURCH.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU CAN'T TELL EVERYONE I LEFT BILL.

WHY NOT? IT'S MY WEDDING, I CAN SAY WHATEVER I LIKE.

OH. WELL, IT'S NOT ABOUT BILL, MOTHER.

MAYBE IT WAS AT FIRST, BUT I AM IN IT FOR ME NOW.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT. IT'S MADE YOU COMPROMISE YOURSELF.

- WHO DOESN'T COMPROMISE? - NO, IT MADE YOU COMPROMISE YOURSELF

IN A VERY FUNDAMENTAL WAY. THE SACRIFICE THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE

- GOES AGAINST YOUR NATURE. - I'VE WATCHED YOU SMILE

THROUGH 43 YEARS OF MARRIAGE AND I KNEW WHAT THAT SMILE COVERED.

- I ADORED YOUR FATHER. - OF COURSE YOU DID.

I LOVED HIM AND THAT MADE IT WORTH IT.

AND I LOVE BILL.

BUT I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU

THAN TO GO CRAWLING BACK TO SOME POLYGAMIST STONE AGE.

BUT YOU KOWTOW TO PATRIARCHY, KEEPING UP APPEARANCES.

OH, I STRUGGLED WITH THIS CHURCH--

TO OBEY IT AND TO CHANGE IT.

I HAD YOUR AUNT GRETCHEN OVER FOR THANKSGIVING DINNERS

BEFORE IT WAS EVEN ACCEPTABLE TO TOLERATE HOMOSEXUALS.

THEN TOLERATE ME. IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO.

I CAN'T JUST TOLERATE YOU.

YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER.

I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ETERNAL SALVATION.

Hollis over speaker: His involvement went much deeper

than you could imagine. He didn't just buy the company,

he fed us false information.

He led our girls astray,

convinced people to hogtie Miss Adaleen.

He told our poor sister-wives

that their love for your father could be best expressed

by spilling his blood to cleanse his sins.

HE TOLD THEM TAKE MY FATHER DOWN?

He did. He might as well have pulled the trigger,

pitted us against your father,

and stole out from both of us.

His sins cry out for blood atonement.

- Very truly yours, Hollis Greene. - ( clicks )

( salsa music playing )

I'M NOT UPSET YOU DECIDED TO TAKE OUR CHILDREN

TO A WEDDING WHERE THEY'D JUST AS SOON SPIT ON ME THAN LOOK AT ME.

I JUST WANNA UNDERSTAND IF YOU PLANNED ON SENDING

- OUR SON AWAY WITHOUT TELLING ME. - YES, I DID.

MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND.

- WE'RE LEAVING. - NO, BILL,

- I AM NOT LEAVING. - YES, YOU ARE.

NO, I WANT TO STAY HERE.

HE'S DATING TWINS FROM THE COMPOUND

WHOSE PRIMARY ASPIRATION IS TO MARRY THE SAME MAN BEFORE THEY TURN 17.

HUH! I'D SAY WE'RE OFF THE RAILS.

IF OUR SON BELIEVES HE HAS THE CALLING TO LIVE THE PRINCIPLE,

I'M NOT GONNA FORBID HIM FROM TESTING IT.

OF COURSE HE HAS THE CALLING, HE HAS NO OTHER INFLUENCES.

ARE WE GONNA FIGHT ABOUT THE CHILDREN EVERY DAY OF OUR MARRIAGE FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS?

DID YOU STEAL WEBER GAMING FROM ROMAN?

- WHO TOLD YOU THAT? - DID YOU?

WE WERE INTERESTED IN THE SAME BUSINESS. I WON.

- YOU'VE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING YOU KNOW TO BE RIGHT. - I AM BREAKING MY BACK

- TO CARRY THIS FAMILY. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GUIDING YOU ANYMORE, BILL.

WHO ARE YOU BECOMING?

IT'S A FORMAL-DRESS WEDDING, BILL.

- HELLO, NANCY. - YOU LOOK OLDER.

YOU HAVEN'T AGED A BIT.

WE TOOK YOU INTO OUR HOME.

WE LOVED YOU LIKE OUR OWN SON.

AND I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I BROKE YOUR HEART.

- YES, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU NEVER WILL. - I'M SORRY.

GET A JACKET, HUH? YOU'RE HERE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY.

YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL WRECK MY WEDDING.

( sighs )

NED.

I'M SORRY ABOUT VERA.

- CONGRATS ON NANCY. - YOU'VE SURE GONE AND SCREWED UP YOUR LIFE.

YOU WERE ON THE PATH TO BEING A SOMEBODY.

WELL, NED, I BELIEVE I'M ON MY TRUE PATH.

HAVE YOU SEEN BEN ANYWHERE?

- I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A NEW BUSINESS ENTERPRISE. - THAT'S RIGHT.

CHURCH HAS COME DOWN PRETTY HARD ON GAMBLING

THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS-- FOUR-SQUARE AGAINST IT.

IT DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE STOPPED US.

THEN WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR INFLUENCE TO LIFT THE GAMBLING BAN IN UTAH?

IT WOULDN'T BE HALF AS PROFITABLE IF IT WERE LEGAL.

LISTEN... KEEP BARB OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS.

MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.

NANCY IS TELLING EVERYONE THAT BARB IS LEAVING YOU.

- CAN I HELP? - NO NO, WE'RE FINE, THANK YOU.

NO, LET ME-- LET ME HELP.

- DAD! - WE'RE STAYING.

- WHAT? - JUST TOE THE LINE, BEN.

- SHE PRACTICALLY KIDNAPPED ME. - THE PRINCIPLE ISN'T A WEAPON OF REBELLION.

SHOW ME YOU'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS, EXERCISE DISCRETION.

LOOK. I KNOW YOU'RE STILL ANGRY ABOUT BRYNN,

BUT STOP TORTURING YOUR MOTHER.

I THOUGHT YOU TOLD BILL YOU WERE BRINGING BEN.

LOOK AT THEM. WHY CAN'T THAT BE ENOUGH, HUH?

LOOK AT YOUR BEAUTIFUL SARAH AND BEN.

WHAT'S WRONG IN HIS NATURE THAT

THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM?

MOM...

BILL LOVES ME AND ACCEPTS ME FOR WHO I AM.

THERE'S SOME ICE CREAM IN THE CHEST FOR A LA MODE.

- ( phone ringing ) - UNCLE BILL...

CAN YOU REALLY SAY THAT YOUR APOSTASY

HAS BROUGHT YOU SERENITY AND JOY?

SHUT UP. WHAT?

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED TO JOEY AND WANDA AND KATHY.

THEY'VE BEEN TAKEN OUT AND MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD.

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN MURDERED. DON'T START.

Stop telling me not to start!

LISTEN TO ME.

I THINK JOEY DID SOMETHING CRAZY.

THE WORD AROUND HERE IS THAT...

ALBY HAD KATHY REEDUCATED.

- REEDUCATED? - That's right.

KATHY GOT NABBED BY ALBY.

JOEY WOULD HAVE BEEN BESIDE HIMSELF WHEN HE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

SO HE FOUGHT FOR KATHY.

AND THEN ALBY HAD THEM BOTH KILLED.

That's what happened. I know that's what happened.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN FIND OUT. ( beeps )

OH GOSH-- MARGIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE, BILL.

YEAH, GLAD TO HEAR IT. NOW, YOU WANT THIS DEAL,

START ACTING LIKE THE SHEPHERD OF YOUR FLOCK AND FIND 'EM.

I HAVE NO INTEREST IN HARMING YOUR FAMILY, BILL.

I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO NICKI. KNOCK IT OFF!

Your U.E.B. seat is hanging by a thread.

Bill: HONEY, I'M SORRY.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY? BILL, WE HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW!

- WE'RE GONNA BE SO LATE! - I KNOW, I CAN'T. I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.

WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?

- IT'S HER MOTHER'S WEDDING, MARGIE. - GOOD.

- SO? - WELL, I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT THAT I STAY.

OH NO.

- DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE CAR AND GO YOURSELF? - NO NO NO NO.

I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN.

- I'LL BE BACK, I'LL BE BACK. - OOOH!

YOU TOLD. I ASKED YOU NOT TO TELL,

AND YOU TOLD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

YOUR HUSBAND HAS A MURDEROUS SOUL.

HE WANTED WEBER GAMING SO BADLY, HE TRIED TO KILL OUR FATHER TO GET IT.

HE HAD THE GREENES PUMP THREE BULLETS INTO PAPA'S BODY.

AND HERE YOU ARE, LIVING THE HIGH LIFE OFF THE PROFITS.

YOU'RE THE ONE REAPING THE REWARDS--

HIS SELF-APPOINTED SUCCESSOR.

YOU'RE A JOKE.

THE PEOPLE LOVE ME, AND I LOVE THEM.

PAPA IS DYING, NICKI.

HIS LUNGS ARE FILLING.

IT'S A MATTER OF DAYS

BEFORE HE IS BECKONED TO THE CELESTIAL KINGDOM.

SO PREPARE YOURSELF.

BILL DIDN'T DO WHAT YOU SAY. HE WOULDN'T.

HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT MY HUSBAND?

IF YOU WANT TO COME BACK TO US,

COME TONIGHT.

BECAUSE VENGEANCE WILL RAIN DOWN ON THIS FAMILY.

IF YOU DON'T,

I HAVE TO WASH MY HANDS OF YOU, NICOLETTE.

- Nicki: Margie, where are you? - TRAPPED IN THIS STUPID CAR LIKE A DOG.

PUT BILL ON THE PHONE NOW.

- I can't. It's happened again. - WHAT?

BARB'S DECIDED IT'S TIME TO CHECK OUT OF THE FAMILY

AND SHE'S TAKING THE KIDS WITH HER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M GOING IN THERE AND I'M TELLING HER

THAT IF SHE WANTS OUT, IF SHE HATES US SO MUCH, SHE SHOULD JUST LEAVE.

SHUT UP, MARGIE. WHERE ARE YOU?

HER MOM'S BIG-ASS WEDDING.

BILL STUCK ME OUT IN THE CAR FOR OVER AN HOUR!

I'M GOING IN THERE. FORGET IT.

MARGIE, DON'T MOVE. JUST STAY PUT.

DON'T YOU DARE GO IN THERE!

COME ON, KIDS. GET THE LITTLE ONE.

( '60s dance music playing )

WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO SUN VALLEY?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

IT'S ON A LAKE.

WE HAVE A LAKE HERE.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE?

AND YOU AND ME AND MOM AND DAD

WENT WITH GRANDMA TO THAT HORSE FARM?

NO.

ARE YOU TELLING PEOPLE YOU'RE LEAVING?

NO.

DO YOU WANT ME HERE?

DO YOU WANT TO BE HERE?

I WOULDN'T HAVE THROWN YOUR FAMILY AWAY IF IT WERE MY CHOICE.

( song ends, scattered applause )

( '50s ballad playing )

WILL YOU DANCE WITH YOUR FATHER?

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING:

YOU CAN CONFIDE IN ME ABOUT ANYTHING.

I MIGHT ACTUALLY SURPRISE YOU.

ANY GUY WHO DOESN'T SEE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU.

- DAD. - I MEAN IT.

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY?

I'M NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.

NO. DO YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE NO CREDIBILITY?

THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU CAN SAY TO ME

ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS,

OR LIFE,

THAT I WILL EVER EVER LISTEN TO.

WAVE TO YOUR MOTHER.

EXCUSE ME, BARBARA? MOTHER WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A VISIT

WITH YOU AND DAD IN THE FRONT DRIVEWAY.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( footsteps approaching )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Margie: WHERE'S BILL?

ARE YOU LEAVING US AGAIN, BARB? REALLY?

NO! OH, YOU'RE OVERREACTING.

GO HOME.

I AM FINALLY MAKING HEADWAY WITH MY MOTHER

AND THIS IS UNDERMINING ANY CHANCE OF A RECONCILIATION.

BALONEY. YOU TRUMPED THIS ALL UP

BECAUSE YOU'RE ANGRY I'M HAVING DINNER WITH LARRY AND SUSIE.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

NOT SO SURE, BARB. NOT SO SURE.

- YOU'RE TAKING BEN AWAY? - YEAH, TELL HER.

YOU DON'T APPROVE OF BEN LIVING THE PRINCIPLE, BUT WHAT ARE WE LIVING?

( sighs ) THIS IS MY FAMILY.

Margene: THEY DON'T WANT YOU IN THERE, BARB.

NICKI, WHAT-- WHAT'S GOING ON?

THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. YOU CHOOSE BARB AGAIN AND AGAIN.

WELL, LISTEN UP, EVERYONE.

I LIKE THE WEBER PEOPLE. THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE AND WE'RE KEEPING IT.

- MARGIE, HUSH UP! - JUST GO HOME.

ALBY CAME TO THE HOUSE.

I NEED YOU TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW,

DID YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT THE GREENES WERE GONNA DO TO MY FATHER?

- NO, OF COURSE NOT. - DID YOU PUT THE GREENES

UP TO SHOOTING MY FATHER FOR WEBER GAMING?

DON'T EVER QUESTION ME ON THAT LEVEL AGAIN.

IT WAS BUSINESS. I GOT STUCK BETWEEN THEM.

AND THIS DISCUSSION IS OVER.

ALL OF YOU LISTEN VERY CLEARLY:

WE ARE MOVING AHEAD WITH WEBER GAMING-- TOGETHER,

AS ONE FAMILY, IN HARMONY.

LISTEN, FOLKS, KINDLY TAKE THIS LITTLE HULLABALOO ELSEWHERE.

- SHUT UP, YOU. - NICKI, THAT'S ENOUGH.

I WILL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR TRESPASSING.

- CINDY, GIVE IT A REST. - ALL OF YOU, JUST STOP IT.

- NOW STOP IT AT ONCE. - I'M SORRY. THEY'RE GOING.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO-- ALL OF YOU,

- RIGHT NOW. - NANCY, DON'T DO THIS.

LET HER STAY, WE'LL GO.

NO.

IT'S OKAY. I'M GOING.

Bill: HONEY, STAY WITH YOUR MOTHER IF YOU NEED TO.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

CINDY, GO INSIDE.

- BUT--! - BARBARA?

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? HUH?

I KNOW THIS IS PAINFUL FOR YOU.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL SEE YOU IN THE AFTERLIFE...

IF YOU'LL BE WITH DADDY OR NED

OR IF I'LL BE WITH YOU OR BILL.

BUT I KNOW...

THAT AT THE VERY LEAST,

I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU IN THIS LIFE.

THIS IS YOUR ONE BIG TEST.

( water running )

BILL?

WHAT?

- ( rattling ) - AH AH!

( screams )

- AH! - IT'S OKAY.

( mambo playing )