Original subtitles

( theme music playing )

( door buzzing )

AMEN.

ARE THEY FEEDING YOU ALL RIGHT?

THESE LIGHTS ARE GIVING ME A HEADACHE THOUGH.

WHY DID YOU TELL THEM YOU DID IT, JOEY?

I MADE A DEAL WITH ROMAN.

THERE'S A COMPANY THAT HE WANTS TO BUY

AND HE NEEDS A UNANIMOUS VOTE TO GET IT.

HE SAID HE'D END THE INVESTIGATION,

THAT HE'D LEAVE WANDA AND ME ALONE IF I VOTED FOR IT.

- DID YOU? - NO...

'CAUSE THE STATE GOT INVOLVED.

JOEY.

WANDA CAN'T BE IN HERE.

SHE COULDN'T MAKE IT.

DO YOU REALLY WANNA TAKE THE FALL FOR THIS?

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN TO ME--

NO MORE DECISIONS WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST, OKAY?

I ONLY SLIPPED UP THE ONE TIME, BILL-- THAT'S ALL.

( knocks )

- MARGENE. - ( knocks )

OH...

WELL, IT'S ALMOST 10:00.

YOU SHOULD BE IN BED BY MIDNIGHT.

OH, I KNOW-- MOVIE NIGHT.

YOU ARE PREGNANT. YOU HAVE TO GET INTO A REGULAR SCHEDULE--

- MORNING. - ( falters ) WHILE IT'S STILL...

...EASY TO FALL ASLEEP.

WHAT-- WHY AREN'T YOU IN YOUR OWN BED?

TEENIE SHAKES HER FEET AND KICKS THE WALL.

WELL, GET SOME EARPLUGS.

I LIKE THE COUCH.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY SLEEP WORTH HAVING

SLEEPING ON MARGIE'S COUCH.

YOU GOT BIRTHDAY CARDS FROM GRANDMA LOIS AND AUNT CINDY.

WHY DON'T YOU OPEN THEM UP NOW?

I'M SAVING THEM FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

I'VE GOT CLASS, BUT I'LL BE BACK FOR BOOK CLUB AT 1:00.

HERE'S YOUR STENCILS. START TRACING THE SHEEP.

( urinating )

ALL YOUR BROTHERS COMING?

ALMOST.

DAVID'S STUCK IN WYOMING.

RICK AND JESSE ARE STILL IN EXILE.

THIS COURT CASE NEEDS TO GO AWAY.

HOW INVOLVED ARE YOU?

THEY COULD CALL ME TO TESTIFY BUT IT CAN'T GET THAT FAR.

YOUR FATHER NEEDS A VOTE FROM ME.

HE'S GONNA HAVE TO WORK HARD TO GET IT.

HE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE BACKED AGAINST A WALL.

I HAVEN'T SEEN SOME OF MY FAMILY FOR A LONG TIME.

JUST TRY AND ENJOY THIS, OKAY?

- WHAT TIME IS DINNER? - MAMA WOULDN'T SAY.

SHE THOUGHT THE FBI WAS LISTENING IN.

( hissing )

GO ON, GET ON OUT OF HERE.

( radio playing music )

( baby crying )

( giggling )

HI, MAMA CINDA.

( laughs ) WELL WELL WELL.

- Nicki: THANKS FOR THE GRAPEFRUIT. - OH, YEAH.

NICKI. THIS IS YOUR AUNT NICOLETTE.

- Nicki: NO! - SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HOW'S MAMA? - STAGE FOUR.

MAMA DEE.

- DEKE STILL IN JAIL? - OH, SUCH RIDICULOUSNESS.

OF COURSE HE REGISTERED HIS TRUCKS IN NEVADA

BECAUSE IT WAS CHEAPER!

THEY'LL DO ANYTHING TO TEAR US APART.

UH, SHELLY! PUT THAT SKIRT DOWN.

DID YOU BRING THE POTATOES?

- THEY'RE IN THE CAR. - OKAY, GOOD.

- I SAW A NEWS TRUCK DOWN THE ROAD. - UGH, THE MEDIA.

THANK YOU, ORLEAN ABBOTT AND THE FBI'S MOST WANTED.

SO WHEN YOU'RE DONE UNLOADING,

PARK YOUR CAR DOWN THERE BY THE SHEDS.

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY LANE.

OH, I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN TOWELS.

- WELL, SO NICE TO SEE YOU, BILL. - ADALEEN.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME? OH YEAH, WHEN YOU BROKE IN THROUGH OUR WINDOW.

OH, EVERYBODY,

IF YOU GO OUT AFTER DARK, REGISTER.

WE'RE PUTTING OUT NIGHT PATROLS IN CASE OF A RAID.

SO BE CAREFUL.

LAST THING WE NEED IS FOR SOMEONE TO GET SHOT BETWEEN THE EYES.

RHONDA.

WHEN ADALEEN CALLED ME, I WANTED TO DIE.

THREE DAYS ON A DIRTY MEXICAN BUS, YOUNG LADY.

AND YOUR FATHER-- LEFT ALONE IN CHIHUAHUA WITH THOSE NASTY WOMEN...

- YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME. - OH, REALLY?

NO ONE ELSE SEEMS ABLE TO GET YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

- I WAS GOING TO DO IT SOON. - WHEN?

BEING SEALED TO THE PROPHET IS A GREAT HONOR.

I KNOW.

SO YOU'D BETTER STILL BE INTACT.

- ALL RIGHT. READ IT BACK SO FAR. - YES, SIR.

"DEAR SENATORS OF THE REPUBLICAN CAUCUS:

ALTHOUGH I AM IN AGREEMENT

THAT THE SACRED RITES OF MARRIAGE HAVE BEEN WEAKENED AND COMPROMISED,

I VIGOROUSLY DISSENT ON THE WISDOM

OF A PROPOSED CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT

DEFINING MARRIAGE AS A UNION OF ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN."

UH, FINE.

THEN ADD,

"BY INCLUDING POLYGAMY

ON A LIST OF DUBIOUS PRACTICES,

YOU TARNISH A RELIGIOUS TRADITION

WHOSE ROOTS ARE TRACED

TO BIBLICAL FIGURES

SUCH AS ABRAHAM,

JACOB, MOSES,

DEFILING THEM

AS IMMORAL AND DIRTY."

( door opens )

YES?

( weakly ) IS NOW A BAD TIME?

WHAT IS IT, HONEY?

IT'S ABOUT OUR STAY HERE--

WITH YOU AND BILL.

OH, UH... GENTLEMEN, I'M SORRY.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE US A MOMENT?

I GOT BILL TO COME AND STAY IN YOUR HOUSE TONIGHT.

OH, THANK YOU, NICOLETTE.

I KNOW YOU'LL HOLD UP YOUR END AND SETTLE THINGS.

OF COURSE.

ANYTHING ELSE?

NO, PAPA.

THEN PERHAPS

YOU SHOULD GO HELP YOUR MOTHERS WITH SUPPER.

WELL, THANKS, PAPA.

Barb: SHE WROTE, "I HOPE YOU KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FAMILY."

AND SHE HASN'T ANSWERED ONE PHONE CALL-- ONE PHONE CALL

SINCE THE MESS AT THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION.

- THEY ALWAYS WORK THE CHILDREN, BARB. - Margene: DON'T YOU DARE!

IT FELT LIKE PARANOIA AT FIRST,

- BUT 20 MESSAGES WITH NO RETURN CALLS... - ( Margene screams )

...IN ALMOST A MONTH AND NOW THIS CARD?

( sighs ) IT'S NOT LIKE MY SISTER

NOT TO CALL TO RUB THE SALT IN. SHE'S SO--

- MEDDLESOME. - IT'S ALL LARRY KING AND ANDERSON COOPER'S FAULT.

THEY MAKE US LOOK LIKE RETARDS AND PERVERTS--

OVER AND OVER WITH THOSE WOMEN AND THEIR TEETH AND THOSE SNEAKERS.

IF THEY COULD SHOW JUST ONE NORMAL PLURAL FAMILY FOR A CHANGE...

- THE GOOD ONES ARE ALL CLOSETED. - OH, THAT TERM.

- I KNOW. IT RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY TOO. - ( Margene shrieks )

( screams, laughs )

DID YOU TRY CALLING HER?

UH, 20 TIMES.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY OWN FAMILY WOULD EXPOSE US LIKE THAT, BUT NOW--

YOU CAN'T CALL HER ANYMORE. I KNOW IT'S HARD.

IT'S THE NOT KNOWING.

HONESTLY, MY OWN MOTHER TRIED TO GRAB MY KIDS.

SHE FOLLOWED RUBY AROUND IN HER LEXUS FOR WEEKS.

- YOU JUST HAVE TO LET IT GO. - ( Margene shrieks )

( splashes )

WHO'S OLDER, YOUR BOY OR YOUR GIRL?

- ( mug bangs ) - EXCUSE ME.

- ( Ben yells ) - ( Margene laughs )

( softly ) LET HIM UP NOW.

BEN, YOU HAVE HOMEWORK.

- I DID IT ALREADY. - NOW.

YOU GOT A "C" IN SPANISH.

OUT!

AND YOU HAVE A NURSERY TO FINISH.

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO

SSS-SPONGE BLOT THOSE LAMB STENCILS, HUH?

YOU'RE SO BABY CRAZY, BARB.

LOOK AT YOU.

HE PUSHED ME IN.

( whispers ) WE NEED TO TEACH BEN PRIORITIES, MARGIE.

( whispers ) OKAY.

THERE'S PLAYTIME AND WORK TIME...

AND FRIEND TIME AND FAMILY TIME, HMM?

YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS?

OF COURSE.

- YOU MISSED A SPOT. - NO, I DIDN'T.

YES, YOU DID.

HOW MANY EARS DID YOU GET?

JUST PUT IT ON THE COUNTER.

- ( all laugh ) - Adaleen: THERE'S TOO MUCH FAT ON THIS BEAST.

ALBY'S POISONING MUST BE A STRAIN ON YOUR MARRIAGE.

DID JOEY REALLY DO IT?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I VOTE WANDA. ARE YOU STILL CLOSE TO HER?

- SHE'S A NUTCASE. - EVIE!

WHAT IF THEY'RE ALL CONVICTED?

YOU'LL HAVE TO CUT THEM ALL OFF, YOU KNOW? SO WILL BILL.

OH, I STILL NEED 20 LBS. OF SUGAR

FOR THE MORNING.

THE COMPANY IS WEBER GAMING.

THEY DISTRIBUTE TOUCH-SCREEN ENTERTAINMENT DEVICES

TO SIX STATES.

YOU MEAN VIDEO POKER MACHINES?

IS IT LEGAL?

- YES. - IS IT MORAL?

SELLING POKER MACHINES THAT LIVE IN BARS

THAT CAN BE SET TO PAY OUT?

OUR OWN U.E.B.-- PROMOTING LIQUOR AND GAMBLING?

WELL, LET ME FIND THE MORALITY FOR YOU.

WE BLEED MONEY AWAY FROM THOSE WITH UNHOLY LIFESTYLES.

WITH IT, WE SUPPORT OUR OWN.

THE PURCHASE PRICE IS FAIR,

THEIR CLIENTS ARE FULLY AWARE OF OUR BACKGROUND

AND HAVE SHOWN NO HESITATION.

IT'S AN INVESTMENT THAT WILL ENSURE THE SECURITY

OF OUR COMMUNITY AND OUR FAMILIES.

IF YOU'D LIKE TO PLAY WITH ONE FIRST, BILL,

I CAN HAVE ONE BROUGHT DOWN FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

( men chuckle )

ALBY.

A YAY OR NAY VOTE ONLY PLEASE.

- YAYS? - YAY.

NAY.

OH, YOU CAN RECORD IT.

WHY IS DISSENT SO INGRAINED IN YOUR NATURE?

YOU MADE A DEAL WITH MY BROTHER BEHIND MY BACK.

OH, THAT'S YOUR BROTHER'S STORY.

THAT'S MY VERSION OF IT.

DO YOU FEAR FOR YOUR BROTHER'S SAFETY

IN THE SAME WAY I FEARED FOR MY SON'S?

MY BROTHER IS IN JAIL FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT.

THIS INVESTIGATION IS OUT OF MY HANDS, BILL.

I HAVE NO POWER OVER THE STATE.

FIGURE IT OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT...

BRING YOUR OFFER TO THE DINNER TABLE.

( sighs )

( dialing )

- ( ringing ) - AHEM.

- Girl: Hello? - HI.

- IS THIS KIM LEE? - Yes, ma'am.

IT'S AUNT BARB. IS YOUR MOM HOME?

One minute, please.

( hold music playing )

She can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?

CAN YOU TELL HER-- CAN YOU TELL HER IT'S IMPORTANT?

She says she'll call you back.

CAN, UM... CAN YOU TELL HER

THAT HER SISTER BARB LOVES HER

AND NO MATTER WHAT SHE'S DONE

OR WHAT SHE THINKS I'VE DONE,

THAT WE CAN STILL MAKE IT BETTER?

- Okay. Goodbye. - ( dial tone )

WHAT?

( needle buzzing )

( rock music playing on radio )

SO YOU'RE REALLY GONNA LET BRYNN HANG OUT AT YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE?

MY MOM INVITED HER OVER.

ARE YOU STILL DOING IT ALL WITH HER?

- NOT AS MUCH. - WHAT--

I'M WORKING ON IT. IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW, I GET IT. IT'S NOT TOTALLY YOUR FAULT.

IT'S A LOT BECAUSE OF OUR FATHER'S CHOICES.

ALL DONE.

DO YOU THINK YOUR DAD'S LEADING YOU GUYS DOWN AN UNRIGHTEOUS PATH?

NO. WHY?

'CAUSE I THINK MY DAD IS.

WHAT'S HE DOING?

MOST PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD ONLY HAVE ONE WIFE--

SMOKERS, DRINKERS, SEX, FAGS.

WHAT OUR DADS ARE DOING, YOU AND I-- WE CAN'T HAVE IT.

THAT'S THEM. I'M DOING MY OWN THING.

YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW THE THING IS, WE'RE STILL SCREWED UP BY IT.

EVERY TIME I COME OVER, MARGENE IS RUNNING AROUND

IN A SKIRT OR ROBE OR WHATEVER.

ARE YOU COMPLAINING?

NO. YOU KNOW, SHE'S HOT, BUT SHE'S YOUR MOM.

IT'S THE HOUSE THAT YOUR DAD MADE FOR YOU.

- YOU GONNA SHAVE YOUR HEAD NOW TOO? - NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

- YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME TOMORROW NIGHT. - WHERE?

TO A VENUE IN MURRAY. THERE'S GONNA BE A COUPLE OF BANDS.

WE'RE GONNA GO HANG OUT. YOU SHOULD COME AND YOU SHOULD PLEDGE STRAIGHT EDGE.

YOU SHOULD MAKE IT YOUR SECOND FAMILY.

NO DRUGS, NO MEAT, NO LIQUOR, NO CIGARETTES.

YOU CAN QUIT IT WITH BRYNN.

I CAN WORK ON BRYNN ON MY OWN, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S NOT MY FOLKS, IT'S ME. I'LL FIX IT, I PROMISE.

SAME ONE, SAME PLACE, HALF PRICE.

- NO, THANK YOU, SIR. - HE STILL NEEDS TO TAKE THE PLEDGE.

OH, YEAH. HE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, FRIEND. EIGHT YEARS.

THAT'LL BE 50 BUCKS.

WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY,

I WILL HEAR WITH AN OPEN HEART.

I'VE PRAYED TO BE WORTHY OF YOU.

AND I HEARD AN ANSWER FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT-- THAT IT'S TIME.

YOU MUST BE CERTAIN...

THAT IT'S ABSOLUTELY OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL.

IT IS.

AND I'M NOT JUST SOME OLD RAKE TO YOU?

ANGELS WILL SING FOR US.

HELLO?

MOM?

YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER.

I'M RAE.

Man: HEY, BILL?

EDDIE?

- HONEY! - WHAT?

- OH, SORRY. - MM-HMM.

IT'S A NEW WIFE. I'VE GOT TWO AND HOLDING.

WELL-- HEY! HEY.

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE? - OH, JUST A WEEK.

JUST TRYING OUT MY NEW RIG.

IT'S GOT SATELLITE TV-- A POP-OUT--

AND A SOLAR BATTERY RECHARGER.

AND I GOT A FEW NEW THINGS FOR YOUR MOM.

YOU KNOW, I FINALLY SOLD THE WESTERN PRESS...

- AND THE RANCH. - YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE AN IDLE OLD RICH MAN.

- ( chuckles ) - HOW LONG ARE YOU STAYING?

- A COUPLE OF WEEKS, I GUESS. - Lois: EDDIE?

IT'S GETTING LATE.

THEY'LL CLEAN OUT EVERY LAST DOUBLE-LOAD DRYER.

LOOK, I'M NOT GOING BACK DOWN TO "WHOREVILLE" NOW.

I'LL ROLL THE QUARTERS, BUT--

- BILL. - "WHOREVILLE"?

YEAH, WE GOT A LITTLE LAUNDROMAT

OFF THE INTERSTATE IN A STRIP MALL.

IT'S NOT THE BEST PART OF TOWN, BUT IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS.

YOU DON'T WANNA BE WHERE PEOPLE CAN AFFORD THEIR OWN WASHERS AND DRYERS.

- YOU HAVE A LAUNDROMAT? - YOU--

YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD HIDE FROM ME?

OH, HIDE? ( giggles )

OF COURSE NOT.

HOW DID YOU GET THE STARTUP MONEY?

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I GOT A S.B.A. LOAN.

AND EDDIE HAS BEEN ADVISING ME. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU GOT YOUR OWN LIFE ELSEWHERE.

- BUT YOU LIED TO ME. - DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY BROTHER.

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING I DO.

AND I GOTTA DEPEND ON MYSELF FOR THE CASH DOUGH-RE-MI BUCKS

TO KEEP US AFLOAT. ( slaps )

- SO WHERE'S WANDA? - HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

WELL, YOU CAN'T LET HER WANDER AROUND HERE UNSUPERVISED!

I'M HERE TRYING TO HELP JOEY!

STOP ATTACKING ME!

IT SO HAPPENS THAT I'M SO WORRIED

ABOUT YOUR BROTHER THAT I DON'T SLEEP NIGHTS.

RAE, OFF THE LEATHER!

YOU'RE WET, HONEY. ( sighs )

THESE MINE?

UM, YEAH.

- ( phone rings ) - WHAT IS THAT?

HANG ON. WHO IS THAT?

- HELLO? - IT'S MARGENE HEFFMAN.

- Margene? - BARB'S SISTER-WIFE.

WELL, HOLY COW.

- ( whispers ) GO ON, SWEETIE. - Excuse me?

I'm sorry.

WHAT GOES ON BETWEEN MY SISTER AND ME STAYS IN VEGAS.

IF THAT MEANS IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, YOU'RE WRONG.

WE'RE A FAMILY. AND YOU AND I ARE SISTER-IN-LAWS.

OH, WE MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT.

I know that you don't approve of us,

BUT IF EVER A SISTER NEEDED A SISTER, IT'S NOW.

AND I AM TELLING YOU, BARB IS THE SWEETEST,

MOST-LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE SISTER-WIFE

EVER PUT ON THIS GREEN EARTH. AND I JUST--

I LOVE HER SO MUCH, SO MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

- HOW OLD ARE YOU, SWEETHEART? - WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE?

THIS ISN'T JUNIOR HIGH AND THESE AREN'T YOUR LITTLE SLEEPOVER GIRLFRIENDS.

GROW UP AND NEVER EVER CALL MY HOUSE AGAIN.

( beeps )

( marching band music playing )

Adaleen: EVERYONE, IT'S CALLED CURRY.

SO HERE'S WHAT YOU DO-- YOU GET YOUR PLATE,

YOU PUT YOUR UNCLE BEN'S ON IT.

YOU THEN SERVE YOUR CHICKEN WITH CURRY SAUCE.

YOU TAKE YOUR MANDARINS,

COCONUT AND PINEAPPLE TIDBITS.

OKAY? ALL RIGHT.

IT'S DELICIOUS.

WHERE SHOULD WE GO?

Bill: FRONT AND CENTER.

OKAY, HERE'S HOW IT GOES. IT'S KIND OF COMPLICATED

SO TRY TO FOLLOW ALONG.

I'M 32 OF 56 CHILDREN,

AND WHEN I MARRIED ROMAN,

I BECAME MY OWN STEPGRANDMA

BECAUSE MY FATHER MARRIED ROMAN'S DAUGHTER BAYLEEN.

WOULD YOU CARE FOR A BISCUIT?

- MOM TELL YOU ABOUT RHONDA? - WHAT NOW?

WE'LL HAVE A NEW MOTHER BY TOMORROW NIGHT.

THAT WOMAN.

DAD'S MARRYING DOWN.

DO YOU WANNA SELL PINE NUTS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN MEXICO?

DO YOU?!

GO ON, THERE'S STILL A SPACE.

GO ON.

PASS THE SALT, ROMAN?

STOP MAKING EYES AT PAPA.

YOU'LL NEVER BE DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL.

NO. I'LL LEAVE THAT PRIVILEGE TO YOU.

SO, LITTLE JOSIE, THAT MAKES YOU MY STEPGRANDMA,

AND I'M YOUR STEPMOM.

AND WHEN I HAD ALBY, HE BECAME MY GREAT UNCLE

AND I BECAME HIS GREAT GREAT-GRANDMOTHER,

WHICH OF COURSE MAKES ME MY OWN GRANDMOTHER.

BILL, I HOPE NICKI PACKED YOUR BEST WHITES.

I DON'T TAKE A VERY GOOD PICTURE.

I BOUGHT MY WHITE DRESS, MAMA.

GOOD, THIS MAY VERY WELL BE OUR LAST FAMILY PHOTO

BEFORE WE ALL MEET UP AGAIN ON THE OTHER SIDE.

FOR ALL WE KNOW, JESUS COULD BE BACK BY LABOR DAY.

AND AREN'T WE GLAD MY DEAR SWEET SON

SURVIVED THE VICIOUS ATTACK ON HIS PERSON?

ANY WORD ON WHO REALLY DID IT?

( fireworks exploding )

THAT IS A VERY SMART APRON, ADALEEN.

- Man: COME ON, GET IT. - ( girl barking )

- STOP BEGGING. - GET IT.

I'VE CALLED FOR A SECOND U.E.B. VOTE TOMORROW AT 2:00.

IF YOUR FEELINGS ON WEBER GAMING HAVE CHANGED,

OUR FAMILY WILL LET BYGONES BE BYGONES.

WELL, THE MINUTE THE CHARGES ARE DROPPED, YOU'LL HAVE MY VOTE.

THERE'S NOT MUCH OF A CASE IF THERE'S NO COMPLAINING WITNESS.

PAPA--

YOU WILL CLEAR JOEY HENRICKSON OF ANY LIABILITY

BY MORNING.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO TO THE MEEKER COURTHOUSE NOW.

YOUR MOTHER WILL WRAP YOU A PLATE.

- YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER, ALBY. - DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

WE'RE HAVING A LOVELY TIME.

- IT'S DISGRACEFUL. - SON, CALM DOWN--

I WILL NOT DO IT.

YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOUR OWN SON'S WELL-BEING.

( man speaking on TV )

- I WON, OBVIOUSLY. - YEAH.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SAVING THEM.

SARAH SAYS GRANDMA LOIS PUT 100 BUCKS IN HER BIRTHDAY CARD.

- OH, IS THAT TRUE? - MAYBE.

Ben: HOLY CRAP!

HEY, WATCH IT.

HERE YOU GO. YOU KNOW, I SHOULD GO HOME.

Sarah: NO, IT'S SATURDAY. STAY.

- IF YOU QUIT, DOOFUS WINS. - ( Brynn laughs ) WELL,

I CONCEDE AFRICA TO SARAH HENRICKSON.

WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO SAY?

UM, NOTHING.

NO MONEY.

THANK YOU, MRS. HENRICKSON. I HAD A GREAT NIGHT.

OH WELL, UM, COME BACK FOR FAMILY HOME EVENING ON MONDAY.

UM, 7:00?

UH, YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

AHEM. BENNY?

- I'M JUST GONNA WALK HER OUT. - OH, YEAH.

OKAY, BYE.

( laughing on TV )

Man on TV: Your husbands last girlfriend

called him on the phone and said...

Roman: ANYTHING YOU NEED?

NO, YOUR WIVES HAVE MADE US VERY COMFORTABLE.

DID YOU EVER WATCH THIS PROGRAM?

AFRAID NOT.

Where is your dirty mind at?

You better not meet nobody at a motel.

You best to give it all to me and nobody else but me.

( chuckles )

- NEWLYWEDS. - Bill: I'LL BE GONE BY THE AFTERNOON.

IF WE'RE GONNA MAKE A DEAL, IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN BY THEN.

ALL PROTESTATION STAMPED OUT.

HAVE YOU MET MY YOUNGEST, EMMETT GRANT?

I HAVEN'T.

ALL THESE FIGHTS WE'RE HAVING, BILL,

OVER MONEY, BUSINESS,

WORLDLY THINGS,

DON'T LET THEM CLOUD YOUR JUDGMENT--

FAMILY IS FIRST.

ROMAN, FIX THIS THING.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

- WHAT? - WHAT?

OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE. WHAT ARE THEY'RE DOING NOW?

- NOTHING. - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROTECT HIM--

OR HER. SHE'S KEEPING HIM UP TOO LATE.

- SHE SHOULD BE IN BED BY NOW. - I'LL GO GET HIM.

( sighs )

( car passes )

HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?

YOU WEREN'T IN THE ROOM.

BARB JUST CALLED,

SHE WANTED TO SAY GOOD NIGHT.

WHAT WERE YOU TALKING TO MY DAD ABOUT?

TRYING TO SETTLE THINGS FOR JOEY.

- DO YOU NEED ME TO DO SOMETHING? - NO.

NO, I'LL VOTE FOR HIS DIRTY LITTLE POKER MACHINES.

( sighs )

DO YOU EVER MISS THIS PLACE?

SOMETIMES.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I'VE GIVEN UP HUNDREDS

TO LIVE IN THE SUBURBS WITH 10.

DO YOU REGRET IT?

NO.

YOU KNOW I CAN'T BE IN THAT PICTURE WITH YOU TOMORROW.

YEAH, I KNOW.

COME HERE.

- ( whispers ) STOP. - HUH?

BILL, COME ON.

- STOP. - WHAT?

( car passes )

DO YOU THINK A MAN SHOULD HAVE TO LOVE A WOMAN

TO MARRY HER?

YES, AND THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

( singing )

( bangs )

( panting, screaming )

- SHH-HH. - ( whimpers )

PULL OUT A SUIT FOR HIM.

YOU WILL GO TO INTO MEEKER

AND CONFESS THAT YOU CONSUMED THE ANTIFREEZE YOURSELF

IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT FOR ATTENTION.

JOEY HENRICKSON AND HIS FAMILY WERE YOUR SCAPEGOATS.

THE U.E.B. VOTE IS TOMORROW AT 1:00.

THIS WILL BE RESOLVED BY THEN.

THEY'LL TRY AND KILL ME AGAIN.

BY REJECTING MY HOLY AUTHORITY,

YOU THREATEN YOUR OWN LEGACY,

YOUR WIVES, YOUR PROPERTY AND YOUR ETERNAL SALVATION.

CAPITULATE NOW.

( sighs )

Margene: TENGO, TIENES,

TIENE, TENEMOS.

Ben: TENGO, TIENES, TIENE, TENEMOS.

( Margene snickers )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M MAKING A SWEATER FOR BILL.

BUT IT'S A SURPRISE. NOT A PEEP.

BEN, GO HOME AND GET A SHIRT ON.

- WE'RE STUDYING. - BEN!

GO!

YES, MA'AM.

WHAT?

SARAH SAW YOU AND BEN UP AT MIDNIGHT.

- NO WAY. - ALL RIGHT, THEN ONE OF YOU IS LYING.

YOU AND I NEED TO GO SHOPPING.

GET ME WHEN YOU'RE READY.

WHAT DID I DO?

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'S SO MAD AT YOU ABOUT?

Margene: I don't know, I didn't do anything.

THEN GO OUT WITH HER, MAKE HER BUY YOU LUNCH OR SOMETHING.

- Just call her for me, get me out of this, please. - ( both silent )

MARGIE, I CAN'T COME BETWEEN YOU AND BARB. YOU KNOW I CAN'T INTERCEDE.

HOLD ON, HERE'S NICKI.

LISTEN TO ME, MARGIE. I'M SURE YOU'RE INNOCENT,

BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT SHE THINKS YOU DID.

She's blaming me for Ben getting a "C" in Spanish.

WHAT? NO, THAT IS NOT A SHOPPING-TRIP OFFENSE.

IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING MUCH MUCH WORSE.

- NOW WHAT DID YOU DO? - I don't know.

She's never taken me shopping before. She's making me go.

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED-- THEY ARE HORRIBLE.

JUST USE THE IT'S-DIFFICULT- BEING-THIRD-WIFE LINE. SHE CAN'T STAND IT.

Oh, Nicki, I don't know. Just please come home. I don't want to go.

Nicki: RELAX, DON'T BACK DOWN. SHE SMELLS WEAKNESS.

NOW GO.

BARB?

I'M NOT GOING SHOPPING WITH YOU.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANNA SAY TO ME,

YOU CAN TELL ME RIGHT NOW.

MARGIE, WE'RE GOING TO DILLARD'S.

GET READY. NOW! WE'LL PICK OUT A NICE SWEATER FOR BILL.

NO. I KNOW I EMBARRASSED YOU

BECAUSE I WAS LOUD AND YOU HAD A BOOK THING.

WE SHOULD HAVE GONE INSIDE. I'LL BE STRICTER.

I WANT BENNY TO GET IN TO THE ACADEMY TOO, I DO.

I'M SORRY.

THERE. THE END.

NO, THAT'S JUST ONE LITTLE THING.

WHAT THEN? IS IT YOUR SISTER, THE PHONE CALL THING?

- WHAT PHONE CALL THING? - NOTHING! I--

I'M NOT GONNA GO. I'M NOT GOING.

IS IT THE SPRINKLER THING?

NO! THAT'S NOT IT EITHER. GO PUT ON SOME PANTS AND GET IN THE CAR.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

FINE, MARGIE.

I FEEL YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH BEN IS INAPPROPRIATE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN INAPPROPRIATE?

IT'S BLATANT.

( sighs ) HOW DO YOU THINK IT LOOKS TO OUTSIDE EYES?

WHAT CONCLUSIONS DO YOU THINK THEY DRAW?

LIKE--

YES.

DO YOU THINK THAT TOO?

LOOK, LET-- LET'S JUST GO TO THE MALL AND GET AN ORANGE JULIUS.

HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT--

ABOUT ME AND BEN?

THAT'S SO DISGUSTING.

I'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO BE A GOOD MOTHER,

- TO MY BOYS-- TO YOURS. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST--

- DISCU-- LET'S JUST KEEP OUR VOICES DOWN. - AND NO!

YOU'RE WRONG! AND YOU'RE GROSS.

AND THAT SWEATER THING WAS MY IDEA, NOT YOURS--

JUST LIKE THE NURSERY.

KNIT YOUR OWN SWEATER, BOSS LADY!

MARGENE.

( knocks ) OPEN THIS DOOR!

( sighs )

Wayne: MOTHER BARB!

( softly ) WAYNE, GO INSIDE.

YOUR MOTHER'S UNDER ROMAN'S THUMB HERE--

AND FRANK'S WHEN HE BOTHERS TO SHOW UP.

YEAH, BUT A LAUNDROMAT?

IT'S EASY TO RUN. IT'S LOW ON LABOR.

IT COULD BE HER ROAD TO INDEPENDENCE.

AND I'LL WATCH OUT FOR HER.

DIG YOUR OWN GRAVE.

CALL ME IF YOU NEED AN ACCOUNTANT.

THIS IS A POPULAR MACHINE.

I SEE THEM ALL OVER ARIZONA.

WHEN WAS IT THAT GAMBLING WENT FROM BEING A SIN

TO JUST ANOTHER FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT?

( beeps )

( beeping continues )

BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP.

THAT'S BROWN, ALBERT! WHITES ONLY.

( chuckles ) GET YOUR WIVES TO DRESS YOU PROPER.

- HOW'S PAPA TODAY? - I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? - I'M THE VICTIM HERE.

YOU AND BILL AND OUR FATHER ARE THE ONES WHO ARE IN GUILT.

GET OVER IT. YOU DIDN'T DIE.

SO IT'S ONLY OUR FATHER WHO HAS THE MORAL FIBER TO FEEL HIS GUILT.

GO PLAY MAKE-BELIEVE WITH YOUR WIVES OR I'LL SCREAM.

PAPA IS THE ONE WHO DID IT.

WHEN RHONDA CAME BACK FROM YOUR HOMES,

SHE TOLD HIM ALL ABOUT BARB'S LITTLE CEREMONY.

HE CALLED THEM. HE PUBLICLY EXPOSED YOUR FAMILY,

PUT YOU IN HARM'S WAY WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.

YOU'RE A LIAR.

I WENT TO THE STATE POLICE LIKE PAPA TOLD ME TO.

I TOLD THEM ALL ABOUT THE DEAL HE'S TRYING TO MAKE WITH BILL TODAY

TO COVER UP WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.

I TOLD THEM BILL WAS HERE RIGHT NOW.

THERE WILL BE NO PEACE HERE TODAY--

NOT AT MY EXPENSE. A MESSAGE FOR YOUR HUSBAND:

THERE ARE REPERCUSSIONS

FOR ROBBING A MAN OF HIS DIGNITY.

DON'T DO THIS, ALBY.

REMEMBER THAT I WAS KIND TO YOU TODAY.

I WARNED YOU THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY.

( rock music playing on radio )

EVER KNOCK?

I SAW YOU LAST NIGHT

BEFORE I CAME AND GOT YOU.

BENNY,

REMEMBER SUNDAY SCHOOL WHEN THEY SAID IT WAS BETTER

TO SEE YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS COME HOME IN WOODEN BOXES

THAN TO HAVE THEM GIVE UP THEIR CHASTITY?

DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO HELL?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK SO.

BUT I'M NOT MOM AND DAD.

JUST BE CAREFUL.

( dialing )

( ringing )

HEY. WHERE ARE YOU?

Jason: What's wrong?

I WANNA GO WITH YOU TONIGHT.

Look, you can't just be a tagalong, Ben.

Okay? If you can't condemn it, then you condone it.

If you can't quit it all, then you're part of the problem.

This is for real.

I KNOW. I WANNA GO WITH YOU

CAN YOU COME PICK ME UP? PLEASE.

All right, get ready. No crayon colors or no school t-shirts.

And nobody finds out where we're from.

Okay?

NICOLETTE?

MY, YOU'RE LOOKING BEAUTIFUL IN THAT WHITE DRESS.

( sobs ) PAPA.

HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG?

- DID YOU DO IT? - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

DID YOU EXPOSE BARB?

MY FAMILY?

WHO TOLD YOU THIS?

WE DON'T LIVE HERE ON THE COMPOUND.

WE'RE NOT PROTECTED LIKE YOU ARE.

WE CAN ALL BE PUT IN PRISON OR WORSE.

AND PAPA--

NICOLETTE...

YOU WILL NOT GO SPREADING FALSE RUMORS.

UNDERSTOOD?

( gasping )

( sobbing )

- WHAT'S GOING ON? - WE HAVE TO LEAVE.

- I CAN'T. I HAVE THE U.E.B. MEETING. - NO, BILL, NOW!

WHY? TELL ME.

ALBY TOLD THE STATE POLICE ABOUT YOU AND PAPA'S COVER-UP

AND THEY'RE COMING HERE NOW.

( marching music playing )

Adaleen: GET IN THE BLEACHERS, PLEASE,

ACCORDING TO YOUR FAMILY LINE.

- BLEACHERS-- - DOES YOUR FATHER KNOW?

WHY AREN'T YOU DOWN THERE?

COME ON.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - WE'RE LEAVING.

YOU WILL BE IN THIS PHOTO.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S COME ALL THE WAY FROM DENVER.

- LOOK AT ME, YOUNG LADY. - NICKI!

- WHAT'S WRONG? - NICKI, STOP, JUST TALK.

ALWAYS A SCENE, ALWAYS TROUBLE.

ONE DAY YOU'LL REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY

AND WON'T IT BE JUST TOO LATE? SHAME SHAME SHAME!

THE STATE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY HERE RIGHT NOW.

YOU WANNA USE THAT TONGUE? USE IT ON YOUR SON.

( coughing )

Photographer: LOOK HERE.

( sirens wailing )

CAN I HAVE A MINUTE WITH YOUR MOM?

DRAMA?

I'M NOT SORRY I DID IT.

GOOD FOR YOU, MARGIE.

- THEN YOU'RE PAYING TO REPLACE THE GRASS. - NO.

YOU WERE WRONG.

I KNOW BEN AND I ARE ONLY FIVE YEARS APART.

AND I-- I AM ATTRACTIVE.

I JUST AM, BUT I'M HIS MOTHER.

AND I KNOW THAT.

I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT.

HE GOT BEAT UP AT A CONCERT WITH JASON. DID HE CALL YOU?

- WHAT HAPPENED? - HE'S...

JUST HAVING TROUBLE FITTING IN, FINDING HIS PLACE.

HE CALLED ME AND I PICKED HIM UP.

MOST KIDS WOULD HAVE JUST HIDDEN IT FROM THEIR MOMS,

- BUT HE CALLED ME. - WHERE IS HE?

HE-- OH, HE'S CLEANING UP. HE'S FINE NOW.

I'M JUST SAYING...

MAYBE I'M CLOSE TO HIM IN A GOOD WAY.

HE NEEDS YOU.

BUT MAYBE HE NEEDS ME LIKE A THIRD MOM TOO.

HE HAS TO SLEEP IN HIS OWN BED FROM NOW ON.

( steps approaching )

- BENNY. - YES, MA'AM.

- ARE YOU OKAY? - YEAH.

( sighs )

I'LL TELL HIM.

- ( beeps ) - Don: Hello?

- I NEED YOU TO COME IN TO WORK TOMORROW. - WHAT'S WRONG, BILL?

I'M THINKING ABOUT PULLING THE PLANS ON THE THIRD STORE.

WHAT HAPPENED UP THERE?

WHAT IF THERE WAS A WAY WE COULD TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF OUR FAMILIES?

FROM ALL THE HIDING WE'VE HAD TO DO TO PROTECT THE STORES?

HIDING IS PART OF OUR LIVES.

Maybe, maybe not forever.

WHAT IF WE COULD PURCHASE A COMPANY

WHOSE CLIENTS DIDN'T MIND THAT WE'RE POLYGAMISTS?

- WHERE WOULD WE FIND THAT? - WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VIDEO POKER MACHINES?

EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION IN SIX STATES?

I DON'T KNOW THAT I'M COMFORTABLE WITH GAMBLING, BILL.

Times are changing, Don.

LET'S FACE IT, WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME OPTIONS OPEN TO US OTHER BUSINESSMEN HAVE.

THIS COULD BE OUR INSURANCE POLICY.

IN CASE THESE PUBLIC EXPOSURES CONTINUE, WE'D BE SAFE.

OUR FAMILIES WOULD BE SAFE.

I NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT.

THINK ABOUT IT.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

I'M HOME.

( doorbell rings )

( country music playing )

( music continues )