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M~aR s���:/ڈLיi.���!GT�k���ׁsň�|��&����� ��S_TEXT/UTF8"���enSn�eng srt�D( C�u��~����� (upbeat music)��
C�u@��徠���� - [Poltergeist] Hello out there.���ġ��� Normally I don't get a chance
to talk to people directly,��
2����� only through their dreams,��PC�u�� #����� but thanks to the modern
miracle of movies,�� I����� I I've broken the sound barrier.��
DC�u�������� I'm a poltergeist sent
down here to help salesmen.�������n Maybe some of you have never heard���C�u��*������ of anything like me.��1�����1 I'm the gremlin of the spirit world,��
n������ and I do awful things.���C�u��C����� But man do I have fun.��
������
� For example, right now
I'm here on your planet��
�C�u��X������ trying to help a salesman with problems.��
�C�u��oi����� Yes, that's one of the
problems he has to face.��
�C�u@���ᠡ��� And that's another one.��U�����U As a matter of fact,�������� you can't imagine the
number of problems he has.��
DC�u���"����� (Women laughing)��
������
� Maybe I better start at the beginning.��OC�u���J����� You see, my main problem is named Herman.��!�����! It all began early one morning like this.���C�u��� ����� - [Herman's Wife] Herman,
honey, time to get up.��C�u������� Come on Herman, honey, rise and shine.���C�u��5
����� You don't wanna be late the first day.���C�u���Ӡ���� Herman, are you getting up?�� ������� - Uh-huh.��BC�u@��������� - [Herman's Wife] That's a good boy.��ݠ����� You'll be the best salesman��ޠ����� the Tiger Brush Company's ever had.��
\C�u��������� You just remember it's the early bird��>�����> that catches the worm.��fC�u�������� - Remember, it's the early
bird who catches the worm.��������� Now look, Herman boy,��`C�u@�������� I don't want anymore alibis,��a�����a not after that song��`�����
� and dance you gave me
about not having worked��ݠ����� in six months.���C�u��������� Haven't I treated you like a son?�� ����� - Yes, sir.��������
� - Didn't I advance you 100?��+C�u��m����� - Yes, sir.��䠠���� But I, I thought that,��������� I, I'm not-���C�u��(����� - I said no more alibis, understand?��8�����8 Look buddy I'm not in the habit��C�u��?k����� of having a punk beat me out of 100 bucks.��~�����~ - No, sir.��=������ - You get out there and sell.���C�u��U������ - But I'm not sure I can.�� �����' - Can what?��fC�u@��l������ - Sell.��`�����` - Look, Herman, you get out there�������� and start selling or else.��a�����o - Yes, sir.��C�u@���#����� - Now that we understand each other,�� Ơ���� � let's get out there��l�����
2 and sell those Tiger brushes, okay boy?��
�C�u���⠭��� Now let's hear that old tiger roar.�� ������ � - Roar.��
������ - That's good, that's real good.��>C�u���ʠ���� Now you just keep that up.��O�����O (upbeat music)��
DC�u�� Ġ���� - Roar.��P�����P Roar.��k������ - [Poltergeist] Hi Herman.��ؠ����� No, I'm not in the house.���C�u��&������ I'm a salesmen's poltergeist.�� I������ Have you ever sold before?���C�u��<������ Like some help?������� Remember what the man said?�� I�����
\ You do want to work, don't you?���C�u@��R����� You don't want to fail at everything,��U�����U do you?��l������ I can help you to be the
world's greatest salesman,�� �C�u��nJ����� make 100 a day.������� Would you like that?��[�����
� All right, let's get
those samples in your case��
�C�u��������� and get on with it.���C�u���ݠ���� That's the stuff Herman.���C�u����¡�� What's the matter, Herman,
don't you feel like working?��
렞���Q That's no way to be.���C�u@��������� You know what will happen to you��g�����g if you don't work.��������
� You're a grown man, Herman,
you have responsibilities.��
�C�u@���f����� I think I better help you.��1�����1 We poltergeist from the
salesmen spirit world�� s������ have super powers you know,��UC�u��
_����� nothing is impossible.��[�����[ So you just go sit on the curb�������� and wait for me.��C�u��!.����� I'll check out the territory.���C�u��9!����� Hello.��䠖���� What's this?�������� An automatic vacuum cleaner��ޠ����
� with an automatic brain?��TC�u��NO����� What will they think of next?��ؠ����
3 My mistake.���C�u��w^����� (upbeat music)��
C�u���<����� What's she trying to do��f�����f besides upset me?���C�u��베���� She looks like she
could use a little help.��OC�u�������� I'll give her a little shove.�� ������ � There.��C�u@��2������ I better get out of here while I can,��㠫���� and go check the place next door.�� I�����, We'll see more of her.���C�u��Og����� Hmm, a fence.�������� Why this is somebody's backyard.��
C�u@��������� This is really good territory,��Ҡ����� Herman's going to make
a lot of sales here.��Ҡ����� (upbeat music)�� �C�u���렦��� I'll bet she's from Montana.�� C�u��3����� I bet that water feels good.��������� I wish I had a body so I could swim.��OC�u��0������ Have a ball.��fC�u��_)����� Look, she even does tricks.��O������ She handles a ball���C�u��z����� better than a trained seal.��������, Hi Herman.���C�u���b����� Bet you're not enjoying the
scenery as much as I am.�� ��� Ready to go to work?��`C�u@��������� Good boy.��㠷���� Let's start with the
house right behind you.��ؠ����� All set?��������o (dramatic music)��
�C�u@���Ӡ���� Did you hurt yourself?��������O Don't blame the case,��頟���8 you did it, you know?��������� Take off your shoe��lC�u�������� and check your toe, stupid.��㠛��� Nothing's broken.���C�u@������ Look, Herman, you massage your foot��ؠ����� while I go and check out a couple houses��ݠ����� across the street, okay?���C�u������� Where'd that truck come from?��y�����y Eeny Meeny Miny Moe,��㠨���
\ what's this house got to show?���C�u��=������ A birthday party.��aC�u��S������ Wow, birthday girl in her birthday suit,��!�����! cooking a birthday cake for her husband.���C�u��r������ (upbeat music)��
CC�u���`����� Taste good?��lC�u���V����� She looks like she cooks
on the back burner.���C�u�� Y����� This territory gets better
and better every minute.������� (upbeat music)�� �C�u�� S������ Mystery, the milk's on a chair,��
�����
and the milk man's over there.�������� What a life.��C�u�� gܠ���� Say, that looks like, Herman, is that you?��������� That's not Herman,���C�u�� |d����� that's Herman over there.��נ����� Hey, is somebody up there
playing tricks on me?�� C�u�� �b����� (sensual music)��
DC�u�� ������� Look at that man go.��[C�u�� �S����� Now there's technique.���C�u�� �5����� You can always turn on
the air conditioner.��OC�u��
������ The money may not be good,�������� but you can't deny that the
fringe benefits are great.��aC�u��
4������ Man, I think we better
get out of here fast.��������@ Ah, fresh air,��TC�u��
N������ I needed that.��=C�u��
e������ Hmm, a sunbather.��������{ Let's take a closer look at that tan.��UC�u��
�ˠ���� (saxophone music)��=����� Some tan.��`C�u��
������ Yeah, I like that color,���C�u��
҇����� it's got quality.��������d Back to Herman.���C�u@��
�ࠡ��� How's the foot, Herman?��������� Better?��
����� � That's good.��<����� Put your shoe on������� and let's get going,���C�u��堨��� or we'll never make any sales.��ݠ����> This is what I call virgin territory.��+C�u��[����� (indistinct) salesman.��%�����8 I'm going to the house in
back of you, understand?��
DC�u��77����� Say so.��B�����B All right, I'll meet you inside.��������� Hurry UP-��BC�u��j����� Hmm, pretty.��領���
D (upbeat music)��
C�u���u����� Looks like she's getting ready for a date.��
�C�u���(����� That's right, nothing
like a little relaxation��!�����! for the madame of the house.��UC�u���W����� I could use a little relaxation myself.�� �C�u��LY����� Come on, Herman, knock at the door.���C�u��qU����� You stretch more than any
woman I've ever known.���C�u��������� Now where are you going?��Ҡ����- (upbeat music)�� �C�u���Y����� Hmm, that one I like.���C�u��
"������ Where's that Herman?��������� What are you waiting for?��fC�u��
=������ What are you doing?�������> Where are you going, Herman?�������? Herman.��aC�u��
UC����� Herman, are you a man or a mouse?��8�����8 - Mouse?��l������ - [Poltergeist] Well I'm not.��`C�u@��
jG����� It may not be nice to spy on a lady,��Ҡ����� but who in the spirit world is nice?��>����� (poltergeist laughing)���C�u��
�[����� There's a sight for sore eyes.�� Ǡ���� � I like this assignment.���C�u��
������ Wonder if she needs any help.��������
m Forget something?��lC�u�� T����� Now what?��[�����[ Where's the Herman?��̠����' Herman, do you want to earn
that S100 you owe or not?��
3C�u�������� Okay, then hurry up and knock.���C�u��6������ (knocking on door)��������� She can't hear that.���C�u��J"����� Still not wet?��Ҡ����� Good, good.��B������ Use the bell Herman.���C�u@��^������ - The bell?������� - [Poltergeist] Yes, the bell.��ޠ����� She can't hear the knocking.��+�����! (doorbell ringing)��gC�u@��~ ���� You see, if I had let you have your way,��U�����U you'd be all wet now.��������Q Oh, what I have to go
through to help someone.�� C�u�����ơ�� - Good morning madame, I
represent the Tiger Brush company.��
�C�u@��͝����� - I'm busy now, come back later.��Z������ - [Poltergeist] Don't give up now, killer,��������! you're almost in.��[C�u@������� Give her the free sample pitch.��������� - Free sample?��ޠ����� - [Poltergeist] The free can of hairspray��
C�u��������� you're supposed to give away at each door.��1�����1 - Free samp, oh.���C�u@�_����� - [Poltergeist] Give her the free sample,��頦���� pick up your junk, hurry up,��������� get in the house.��fC�u��E������ Now what?�������E Don't panic.��[C�u��g����� Smile, a good salesman always smiles.�������z Now sit down.��aC�u��������� Well, show her your goodies.��
C�u����� It's just a leg, Herman.���C�u��ְ����� Play it cool.�������� Cool man, cool.���C�u�������� (phone ringing)��
mC�u��2������ - Hello, how are you darling?���C�u��J4����� - [Poltergeist] Behave yourself.��נ����� Herman, did you hear me?��ؠ����
� Behave yourself.���C�u��������� Herman, stick to business.��ؠ����� Herman.���C�u��������� - (making kissing noises)
All right, baby kin.���C�u@���)����� - [Poltergeist] Pick up your case,��k�����k and show her another product.��ޠ���� I Look out.��㠝���, Now you've done it.��aC�u������� Let's see you get out of this one.���C�u��9������ Pull it Herman, pull it.��UC�u��XѠ���� Pull it harder.�������� (poltergeist laughing)���C�u��pq����� It won't come out that way.��ݠ����> (poltergeist laughing)��C�u��������� Pull it out Herman.�������8 You're rocking the boat, Herman.��C�u���I����� Pull it, Herman, pull it.��������� - No.��C�u���u����� - [Poltergeist] Pull it out Herman.��a������ Pull it harder.��㠠���� (poltergeist laughing)���C�u������� - Get out.��������� (poltergeist laughing)���C�u�������� - Please.��������� - Get out.��BC�u��1����� Get out.��B�����
� - Ow.��BC�u��J제��� - Get out of here.��1�����1 Go on, beat it.��㠠���i (poltergeist laughing)���C�u��~�á�� - [Poltergeist] Ma'am, why
don't you take a cold shower,�� 𠣡�� � I think you've earned it.���C�u���ߠ���� Bye.��C�u��������� (poltergeist laughing)������� Oh, that's what I call
learning the hard way.��
mC�u@������ You're okay, Herman,
pull yourself together,��頮���� you still have more houses to cover.��O�����8 Oh yes we do.��������� Pick up your stuff, I'll
meet you at the pink house.�� �C�u�������� Don't be long.��C�u�������� (gentle music)��
C�u��B����� (sensual music)��
nC�u��X<����� Hmm, now who's this?��Z������ How are your memories out there?���C�u��v����� Do any of you remember
this little housewife?���C�u���᠕��� Think hard.��������E Still don't remember?��fC�u��������� That's right, it's our
little swimming pool girl.��!�����! Clothes make the woman they say.�� C�u��������� That's not true as you can see.��UC�u���"����� Here comes our wonder boy now.��ޠ����� Open the gate and walk in Herman.���C�u�� ������ Serves you right.������� Why don't you use your head?��lC�u��"l����� Nice.��ݠ����� Hey you, what are you taking that off for?��������a You just put it on.��gC�u��<