Original subtitles

MADAME BLAVATSKY

- Walking sucks. - Yeah.

We should have, like, a limo.

That would be cool.

- Then we could, like, have chicks in the back. - Yeah.

We could have lots of chicks in the back

and then we could, like, sit up front and drive. That would rule.

Check it out.

What's that?

For... Fart.

Fort-- Fortune.

Fortune teller.

Maybe we should go in there and tell her our fortunes.

- That would be cool. - No, dumbass,

she tells your fortune.

Oh yeah. Cool.

- What's that? - You know, like, your future.

Oh yeah, cool.

What's that?

I don't know.

Rock! Rock!

Sit your ass down, Lars.

- Play the drums like you're supposed to. - Shut up, Butt-Head.

Check it out, I was at this concert, coming up here, Lars points to me.

See? He said "There's Beavis", see? And there I am, right there! See?

Beavis,

you've never been to a concert in your life.

Shut up, Butt-Head! Your mom's a slut!

Metallica sucks. And you've never made out with a chick, either.

Shut up, Butt-Head! Shut up!

That James Hetfield dude looks like the Cowardly Lion.

Shut up, Butt-Head! He kicks ass!

The Cowardly Lion sucks, Beavis.

I was talking about James Hetfield! He rules!

Metallica rules!

- Not really, Beavis. - Shut up Butt-Head!

Just 'cause you say something doesn't rule doesn't mean it doesn't� uh� umh... yeah...

- Butthole! - I know, it sucks.

If you say one more thing about Metallica I'm gonna slam you in the nads!

Go on with your bad self, Beavis.

See, it's like, look inside this dude's nose.

I know. It's cool. Dumbass.

Well, boogers and stuff are pretty cool, but the hair isn't very cool.

I dunno. I think it's cool.

Yeah, but it's like, if you wanna rule, you gotta be cool, like, all the time,

like, even when you're taking a dump and stuff, like GWAR.

I wasn't saying they were as cool as GWAR.

But they still rule! They rule! They rule! They kick ass!

You better not come around here again, Lester, or I'm calling the cops!

Wait, I got customers.

So...

So, what can I do for you boys?

Hey Butt-Head, I thought she was gonna tell us about our furniture.

Your future?

- All is known to Madame Blavatsky. - It is?

You are students in, what's it called? The high school?

She's right, Butt-Head!

- How'd you know? - Madame Blavatsky sees all.

I think you are not the "A" students.

Maybe not the "B" students. "C"?

No. No, I don't think so.

She's for real, Butt-Head.

She knows all.

You will be a very important man.

Very rich, very famous.

A mere word from you will set great wheels in motion.

So?

Will I ever get any chicks?

So you want to know about women?

Yeah.

Yes, there will be women.

Beautiful women.

They will beg for your favors.

- Yes! - Cool!

Me too! Yeah!

I see... a mansion,

with many servants.

- A yacht. - I don't see any of that crap.

What is it, Beavis?

This is cool.

There's, like, this big war and it's like,

all these people are running around and stuff.

It's like, there's a bunch of wrecked cars, and there's, like, people screaming!

Cool.

It's true. The boy has the sight.

Now there's this helicopter and these army guys are getting out.

This is end of times.

And they got this tank and they're, like, blowing stuff up.

The end of the world.

The end of the world? Cool.

Look at that!

- This is cool! - Oh, the end of the world...

This is cool!

And so, the bloodshed continues here despite international outcry.

This is Wolf Jackal, CNN.

- You're pretty cool, Beavis. - He has the sight.

Thanks. I'm pretty cool.

Whoa, that's a big-ass skull, Beavis. I mean, Butt-Head.

Who is this?

Is this that Toyota Jackson chick?

Yeah, it's like...

it's like, it's Toyota Jackson dressed up like Wonder Woman.

Oh yeah.

Oh no.

Yeah. No.

No! No!

Get away. Get away!

Oh my God!

Is this, like, a joke?

She's got one of those bathing caps on.

Hey, what's that noise?

- I think it's that chick. - Oh yeah.

Telling the future is cool. I didn't know you were a psychic.

Don't you remember all those tests the school nurse made me take?

No Beavis, they said you were psycho.

Oh yeah.

Hey Beavis, I can predict the future, too. Check this out.

I predict that someone will smack you upside the head.

No way, Butt-Head. You can't predict the future.

Cut it out, butthole!

Hey, cut it out!

Hey Butt-Head, change it, come on, this sucks.

Let's just cool out for a minute, Beavis.

Come on Butt-Head, this sucks.

It sucks now, but like, there's something cool later.

- Really? - Yeah, just cool out.

Come on Butt-Head, this sucks, what happens?

It's like it sucks and sucks, and then it's like, it's over.

It's really cool.

I can hardly wait 'til it's over! This is gonna be cool!

Wake up, butthole, you're gonna miss the cool part!

Oh, thanks!

So like, is it over yet?

Here it comes!

Yes! Yes!

- Cool! - Yes, yes, it's over!

That was cool!

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