Original subtitles

POOL TOYS

Well, I can see you boys aren't like the usual hooligans hanging around here,

like these two fellas, Buffcoat and Beaver?

Boy, they've been nothing but trouble.

We work so that we can, like, you know, buy books and stuff.

And then we're gonna get these cool snake tattoos over at the--

You know, when a man builds a new swimming pool,

there's some things he just can't do by himself.

Beavis does things by himself.

Now, as soon as I get you boys started here, I'm gonna

go out and get me some roofing tiles.

That old tool shed's gonna be the fanciest pool cabana you ever saw.

Of course, then I'm gonna have to put my tools somewhere.

Yeah... Me too.

You know, back when I was in the service,

they used to say: "Don't show a man how to do something,

tell him what to do and let him surprise you with his ingenuity".

Okay boys, get started.

You got a long, hard day ahead of you.

- Funk dat! - Whoa! Did you hear that?

He said "Funk dat". Funk dat!

- Yeah, that's cool. - Yeah.

Funk dat!

- Question... - Queshtun.

Queshtun!

That's pretty good, Beavis!

Thanks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Step on him! Kick him in the nads! Kick him!

Yeah!

- Funk dat! - Funk dat, funk dat!

- Question... - Queshtun!

Why is it that every time I turn on the radio...

Why is it that every time I turn on the rrradio...

... I hear the same five songs fifteen times a day for three months?

Question. Why is it that Beavis is fiddling with his wiener

fifteen times a day for three months?

- Shut up, Butt-Head! - Funk dat!

Question. Why is it that every time I ask Butt-Head to change the channel

because a video sucks, he never does it?

Funk dat!

They should get this guy on that "16 Minutes" show

instead of that old Mickey Rooney dude they got.

He sucks!

Check this out, Butt-Head.

You know what I don't understand?

Why is it that every time I pick my nose

it's full again in a few minutes?

Funk dat!

- You sound just like that buttmunch! - Yeah. Yeah. Check this out, too.

How come they call it "taking a dump" and not "leaving a dump"?

I mean, after all, you're not really taking it anywhere!

Funk dat!

Well, Tom, you look like you're celebrating.

Bill, I finally got a couple of good workers to help around the yard.

I'll tell you what.

These here boys are hard workers.

They're 100% US grade-A.

This is stupid.

Why did Anderson put this thing on the tool shed?

Cool.

You gotta have the right tool for the job, Beavis.

Hey Butt-Head, I found some more of Anderson's tools. Check it out!

Hello? Can I get some help here?

Hello?

I'm looking for some Spanish tile to finish off my new pool cabana.

I told you two hours ago,

masonry units, aisle K7-149-B,

row 17, shelf "W".

Hello? Is anyone out there?

Anderson's tools suck. This will take us all day.

Wait a minute, Beavis.

Hey Butt-Head, did you ever see that "Killdozer!" movie?

Yeah. That was cool.

- Heavy machinery is cool. - Yeah.

Watch this, dude.

Hey Butt-Head!

Damn hippie clerk. Where in the hell are them Spanish tiles?

I could have walked to Mexico by now and got 'em.

- Okay dude, push! - I am pushing!

Whoa.

I'm out.

Get me out of here!

I'm back.

This sucks.

Parks suck.

I don't like grass either. Grass sucks.

They're studying the bowels.

A-E-O-I...

M...

and... 9-2-1-0-3-6.

Hey Butt-Head, do numbers have vowels?

Yeah... dumbass.

0 is a vowel.

So is 1.

Hey Butt-Head, you're pretty smart sometimes.

Sometimes, when I'm at school, I, like, listen ad stuff.

Really?

You still, like, like chicks and stuff tho, right?

We almost made it to the edge last night, dude.

Swimming is hard.

Hey Beavis...

remember, when Anderson gets back, we're those other guys.

I hope he has one of those jerk hammers so he can chop us out of here.

Yeah, yeah. Where is he?

Hello?

Masonry units? Anybody?

Where is that damn hippie clerk?

Hello?

- Anthrax kicks ass! - Yeah!

Shut up Beavis!

The army kicks ass.

Is Anthrax in the army?

I think that Scott dude is in the army.

He has a regulation cut. Like Major Dan.

Yeah: "Today's army rocks".

Hey Butt-Head, this is like that thing they play, like, really

late at night when the station's, like, going off the air.

Yeah. Only the music is a lot cooler.

This should, like, be the National Anthem.

Yeah, the National Anthrax.

Yeah, like, they could play it at baseball games and stuff.

Like, the Judds could come out and go:

"I can't look at you! I can't look like you!"

That's pretty good, Beavis. You sound just like the Judds.

Yes, bombs!

Hey Butt-Head, wouldn't that be cool if, like, one day we were, like, going to school

- and a bunch of planes dropped a bunch of bombs? - You dumbass.

Bombs would, like, hurt and stuff.

It's only cool when they drop 'em on CNN.

Oh yeah. Well, I was just thinking, you know, like,

we probably wouldn't have to go to school that day.

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