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POOL TOYS
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Well, I can see you boys aren't like the
usual hooligans hanging around here,
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like these two fellas,
Buffcoat and Beaver?
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Boy, they've been
nothing but trouble.
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We work so that we can, like,
you know, buy books and stuff.
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And then we're gonna get these
cool snake tattoos over at the--
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You know, when a man builds
a new swimming pool,
8
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there's some things he
just can't do by himself.
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Beavis does things by himself.
10
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Now, as soon as I get you
boys started here, I'm gonna
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go out and get me some roofing tiles.
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That old tool shed's gonna be the
fanciest pool cabana you ever saw.
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Of course, then I'm gonna have
to put my tools somewhere.
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Yeah...
Me too.
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You know, back when I
was in the service,
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they used to say: "Don't show a
man how to do something,
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tell him what to do and let him
surprise you with his ingenuity".
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Okay boys,
get started.
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You got a long, hard
day ahead of you.
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- Funk dat!
- Whoa! Did you hear that?
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He said "Funk dat". Funk dat!
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- Yeah, that's cool.
- Yeah.
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Funk dat!
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- Question...
- Queshtun.
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Queshtun!
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That's pretty good, Beavis!
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Thanks.
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00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:13,193
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Step on him!
Kick him in the nads! Kick him!
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00:02:13,711 --> 00:02:14,739
Yeah!
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- Funk dat!
- Funk dat, funk dat!
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- Question...
- Queshtun!
32
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Why is it that every time
I turn on the radio...
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Why is it that every time
I turn on the rrradio...
34
00:02:27,797 --> 00:02:31,794
... I hear the same five songs
fifteen times a day for three months?
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Question. Why is it that Beavis
is fiddling with his wiener
36
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fifteen times a day for three months?
37
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- Shut up, Butt-Head!
- Funk dat!
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Question. Why is it that every time
I ask Butt-Head to change the channel
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because a video sucks, he never does it?
40
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Funk dat!
41
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They should get this guy
on that "16 Minutes" show
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instead of that old Mickey
Rooney dude they got.
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He sucks!
44
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Check this out, Butt-Head.
45
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You know what I don't understand?
46
00:03:05,972 --> 00:03:08,441
Why is it that every time I pick my nose
47
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,772
it's full again in a few minutes?
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00:03:12,685 --> 00:03:13,811
Funk dat!
49
00:03:15,351 --> 00:03:19,379
- You sound just like that buttmunch!
- Yeah. Yeah. Check this out, too.
50
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:22,993
How come they call it "taking a dump"
and not "leaving a dump"?
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I mean, after all, you're not
really taking it anywhere!
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Funk dat!
53
00:03:31,905 --> 00:03:34,966
Well, Tom, you look
like you're celebrating.
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00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:39,125
Bill, I finally got a couple of good
workers to help around the yard.
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I'll tell
you what.
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00:03:41,646 --> 00:03:43,808
These here boys
are hard workers.
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They're 100%
US grade-A.
58
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This is stupid.
59
00:03:51,124 --> 00:03:53,354
Why did Anderson put this
thing on the tool shed?
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Cool.
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You gotta have the right
tool for the job, Beavis.
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Hey Butt-Head, I found some
more of Anderson's tools. Check it out!
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Hello? Can I get
some help here?
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Hello?
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I'm looking for some Spanish
tile to finish off my new pool cabana.
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I told you two hours ago,
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masonry units, aisle K7-149-B,
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row 17, shelf "W".
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Hello? Is anyone out there?
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Anderson's tools suck.
This will take us all day.
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Wait a minute, Beavis.
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Hey Butt-Head, did you ever
see that "Killdozer!" movie?
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Yeah. That was cool.
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- Heavy machinery is cool.
- Yeah.
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Watch this, dude.
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00:05:56,182 --> 00:05:58,082
Hey Butt-Head!
77
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Damn hippie clerk. Where in the
hell are them Spanish tiles?
78
00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:14,801
I could have walked to Mexico
by now and got 'em.
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00:06:15,467 --> 00:06:18,869
- Okay dude, push!
- I am pushing!
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00:06:24,155 --> 00:06:25,251
Whoa.
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I'm out.
82
00:06:28,005 --> 00:06:29,234
Get me out
of here!
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I'm back.
84
00:07:00,224 --> 00:07:01,521
This sucks.
85
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:06,133
Parks suck.
86
00:07:09,176 --> 00:07:12,271
I don't like grass either. Grass sucks.
87
00:07:24,018 --> 00:07:26,209
They're studying the bowels.
88
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A-E-O-I...
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M...
90
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:36,311
and... 9-2-1-0-3-6.
91
00:07:40,407 --> 00:07:43,502
Hey Butt-Head, do numbers have vowels?
92
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Yeah... dumbass.
93
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0 is a vowel.
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So is 1.
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00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,655
Hey Butt-Head, you're
pretty smart sometimes.
96
00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:02,988
Sometimes, when I'm at
school, I, like, listen ad stuff.
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00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,143
Really?
98
00:08:05,321 --> 00:08:07,819
You still, like, like chicks
and stuff tho, right?
99
00:08:19,636 --> 00:08:22,128
We almost made it to
the edge last night, dude.
100
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:26,196
Swimming is hard.
101
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:28,428
Hey Beavis...
102
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remember, when Anderson gets
back, we're those other guys.
103
00:08:33,754 --> 00:08:37,547
I hope he has one of those jerk
hammers so he can chop us out of here.
104
00:08:37,703 --> 00:08:40,001
Yeah, yeah. Where is he?
105
00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:44,606
Hello?
106
00:08:44,812 --> 00:08:47,179
Masonry units?
Anybody?
107
00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:50,197
Where is
that damn hippie clerk?
108
00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:52,178
Hello?
109
00:08:56,594 --> 00:08:58,890
- Anthrax kicks ass!
- Yeah!
110
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Shut up Beavis!
111
00:09:18,743 --> 00:09:20,643
The army kicks ass.
112
00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:23,493
Is Anthrax in the army?
113
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,263
I think that Scott dude is in the army.
114
00:09:29,668 --> 00:09:32,567
He has a regulation cut. Like Major Dan.
115
00:09:32,828 --> 00:09:35,763
Yeah: "Today's army rocks".
116
00:09:43,622 --> 00:09:46,136
Hey Butt-Head, this is like that
thing they play, like, really
117
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late at night when the station's,
like, going off the air.
118
00:09:48,427 --> 00:09:51,920
Yeah. Only the music is a lot cooler.
119
00:09:54,449 --> 00:09:56,474
This should, like, be the National Anthem.
120
00:09:56,918 --> 00:09:58,852
Yeah, the National Anthrax.
121
00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:02,688
Yeah, like, they could play it at
baseball games and stuff.
122
00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:06,681
Like, the Judds could come out and go:
123
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:09,889
"I can't look at you!
I can't look like you!"
124
00:10:10,937 --> 00:10:14,571
That's pretty good, Beavis.
You sound just like the Judds.
125
00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:23,293
Yes, bombs!
126
00:10:23,804 --> 00:10:27,273
Hey Butt-Head, wouldn't that be cool if, like,
one day we were, like, going to school
127
00:10:27,228 --> 00:10:30,357
- and a bunch of planes dropped a bunch of bombs?
- You dumbass.
128
00:10:30,979 --> 00:10:32,970
Bombs would, like, hurt and stuff.
129
00:10:33,777 --> 00:10:36,075
It's only cool when they drop 'em on CNN.
130
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,429
Oh yeah. Well, I was just
thinking, you know, like,
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we probably wouldn't have
to go to school that day.
132
00:10:41,739 --> 00:10:46,289
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