Original subtitles

THE CRUSH

And it now appears that the explosion not only killed everyone inside the building...

Toxic debris from the blast may have settled in the reservoir

poisoning the entire county's water supply.

No, that's not it. Change it.

And the authorities said

there simply hasn't been a bridge disaster like this in all of human history.

As many as two dozen vehicles

were sent plunging into the icy depths.

And we've just received word that the list may include a busload

- That isn't it. - of missionaries...

And we can now confirm

that the roof collapse here at the MegaDome has trapped

all fifty thousand sport fans within.

These are simply folk like you and me

who bargained for nothing more than an afternoon of tractor pull excitement.

- That's it. That's it. - How many of those

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - innocent fans survived,

if any, may not be known for hours or even days.

But the carnage, the tragedy, the heartbreak,

the misery, the sorrow, the waste,

the human suffering are incomprehensible...

It's hammer time.

You can't touch this.

Can't touch this.

Touch this!

I can't touch this.

I can't watch this.

This is stupid.

And it sucks, too.

Look at these special effects.

These special effects suck.

You have to spit when you talk, Beavis?

I always try to hock a loogie when I talk.

You just spit in my eye, assmunch.

- Is this Pat Nebatar? - Yeah.

She's that chick that had sexual intercourse with Dan Henley.

Goodbye to you.

Goodbye to glue!

Goodbye to poo!

Goodbye to poo!

"Call now for live one-on-one conversations".

"Share your intimate thoughts!"

"$ 1.95 per minute".

"Must be 18 or older".

Hey Beavis, if we had a dollar and 95

we could call and share our intimate thoughts.

We could tell her that she sucks.

This chick's name is...

T'Pau.

Yeah. That's Spanish for "this sucks".

He's dressed up like that dude on the dollar.

You got what I need

but you say he's just a friend

- I'm pretty cool. - Oh, baby! You...

got what I need...

Amadeus Markie.

What?

Hey Beavis...

I'm gonna get me one of those gold chains to put around my neck.

- Me too. - I would look pretty cool huh?

These nachos are good.

Nachos rule.

Hey Butt-Head... check it out.

Cool.

Where's the preschoolers at

who parked their sucky little trikes in my space?

lf my arm wasn't so sore from my new tattoo,

l'd smear both your asses all over the parking lot.

Cool.

Give me your cherry Fruity Whips and those nachos

and l might not shove these handlebars up your butt.

Okay.

Todd's cool!

l think he likes us.

Yeah. Let's go hang with him.

Hi, excuse me.

We're playing over on the courts there

and the music is kind of getting in the way of our concentration.

- Any chance of getting it turned down? - No.

Yeah, l was just wondering, because l really dont see why you can't

enjoy your rock music at a slightly lower volume.

All right, thanks a bunch. Have a real nice day, okay?

Why didn't Todd kick that guy's ass?

He's gonna kick his ass later when his girlfriend's watching.

Hey, it's those punks from Qwik-Mart.

Kindergarten get out early today, girls?

That's pretty funny.

What do you fuzz-nuts want?

We came down, 'cause...

We want to hang with you.

Can we join your gang?

Sure you can join, man...

But you gotta take the entrance exam first. Are you ready?

Hey Slade, let's help them cram for the exam.

No way.

You guys ready for the exam?

l guess so.

You guys don't seem too excited. You pumped?

All right, then. lt's exam time.

That's cool!

This chick has a good attitude.

That guy has bigger boobs than she does.

- Maybe we should touch them. - It's a dude, Beavis!

Oh yeah.

I forgot.

He does have big boobs, though.

Those are some dudes holding their rods.

That's pretty cool.

She should put her address on the screen

so we know where to go, so we can touch her.

Why would you need a "dress"?

- You're some kind of... transformer? - No, Beavis. Not a dress. An address!

You're stupid, Beavis.

Well girls, me and Slade's been talking

and we just dont think you're quite ready to join the gang, man.

l really wanted to take you, but Slade said no, man. Sorry.

But if you guys want to try again

come back to the park next week. And bring some gas money next time.

l knew he liked us.

Todd's cool.

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