Original subtitles

THE TRIAL

Well, judge Wapner just didn't buy the plaintiff's story.

What did you think of the judge's decision?

I thought it was fair. I thought it was a very fair decision.

- And what did you think? - Bite me!

Well, that does it for the case of the rear-ended motorist.

And that will also conclude this session of the

"Pupils Court" as we are simply out of time.

This is Doug Lewelyn, reminding you: the next time someone rear ends you

don't just turn the other cheek! You take him the court, the Pupils Court.

Butt-Brain and Beatrice.

Your case is next. Whoever you are.

Beatrice!

- That's us, dude. - Yeah. Wait a minute!

- No way, my name is not... - Shut up, Beatrice!

- This rocks! - Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I wish I could rock like this.

They rock!

They rock. They rock.

If I ever get my own car...

I think I'm gonna get a truck.

Yeah, a truck with a big engine that goes...

And one that's, like, razed up thirty feet off the ground.

Then I'd, like, drive around town crushing stuff.

Yeah, you could get one with one of those musical horns

and like, when you beep the horn, it goes...

That would be really cool.

Then like, all the chicks would want to go out with us.

If they didn't, we'd just, like, run over their cars.

He's wearing leather pants so you can see his wiener.

You two are charged with trespass and vandalism. How do you plead?

What?

Guilty or not guilty?

Did you throw eggs

at his windows?

- You mean, like, did we do it? -Yes!

Hey Butt-Head...

- That was, uh, other kids or something. - Are you certain?

You don't want me to appoint an attorney? A lawyer to take your case?

I can handle it, dude. I've, like, seen "The Pupils Court".

You'll need someone who knows the laws

who is familiar with the penal system and...

She said "penal".

Just tell us what you saw in your own words, Mr. Anderson.

Well, I came back to my house

and I saw them two delinquents throwing eggs at my windows.

Let the record show that the delinquents the witness just pointed to

are non other than the two defendants in this case. I have no further questions.

Your witness. I mean, your witness.

Shut up, Beatrice!

Hey, why did he say Beatrice, ain't that a boy?

Well, they all look the same to me. You know,

back when I was in the service there was

a fella by the name of Bill Hermstead. Heh, he was a hell of a guy.

- Use the force, Butt-Head. - What?

- Use the force. - I said, all you kids look the same.

I don't see how your parents can keep track of you. You know, back when I was a kid

boys had their hair real short. Now, of course that was a long time ago.

- That was back before microwave ovens... - So then, for all you know it could have been...

him, who threw rotten eggs at your window.

Well, all you kids do look a lot alike.

If that's your opinion sir, then your testimony

as an eye witness is hardly credible.

It is incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial.

Or something.

Hey now, hold on. Wait a minute!

- Hey now, hold on a minute! - I rest on your face!

I mean, I rest my case.

- Case just... - Just a minute, your Honor.

A moment ago you said the eggs were rotten.

That's not mentioned anywhere here in the police

report, and didn't come up in this court room.

Now, how could you have possibly known that,

unless you and your little cohort Beatrice

were yourselves guilty of the crime?

That George Michael with his lip pierced?

No way, Butt-Head. He's too much of a wuss to get his lip pierced.

I might get my butt pierced.

I have my butt pierced.

No you didn't.

Liar.

Lying is cool.

Liar. Liar. Liar.

Is this one of those videos that looks like a commercial?

Or maybe it's like, a commercial that looks like a video?

Cool!

A toilet.

They're starting to put more toilets in videos.

That�s cool.

Whoa, he's popping a zit.

As you begin your deliberation, remember that, under our system of law

defendants must be found innocent unless the state

proofs them guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

Now go convict these two hooligans!

We'll recess now, I'll bring you all back here as soon as the jury reaches a verdi--

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached the verdict?

- Guilty! - Good work!

I sentence each of you to 500 hours of community service

teaching other childen who, unlike you,

might still have a chance of leading useful, productive lifes.

Repeat after me, or something.

She's pitching a loaf.

That's disgusting.

She's married to that short old guy.

That dude from Africa that used to be in the Beatles?

She said "deep".

Deep.

This chick is deep.

What I am.

Didn't Popeye say that?

They ripped this off from Popeye.

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