Original subtitles

TRUE CRIME

Banks are cool.

Yeah. That's where they keep all the money.

"Substantial penalty for early withdrawal".

Please remove card.

Cool! It's one of those money machines!

Hey, somebody left the card. Shove it in Butt-Head.

No way, you shove it in.

Thank you. Please enter password.

Hey Beavis, how do you spell "chode"?

Check this out.

Thank you for using First Homeowners.

Check it out, Butt-Head.

- That was pretty cool. - Yeah. Thanks.

This is cool!

Yeah, yeah. It rules! It rules! It rules!

Yeah. Right on, Beavis.

- These guys are cool. - Yeah. It kicks butt!

It kicks ass! It kicks ass!

- Rock on, Beavis! - Yeah, yeah! Rock!

Check it out.

They put that dude in a fence!

Fences are cool.

Especially electric fences.

When I was little and had no sense/I took a whiz on an electric fence.

It hurt so bad/it shocked my balls/ Then I took a crap in my overalls!

- Whoa! That was pretty cool! - Yeah, yeah.

Whoa! His eyes are sewn shut.

He must have seen something so horrible, like, his eyeballs melted.

Maybe he saw that Winger video.

Yeah! Yeah!

Maybe we should go buy something.

Like what?

Good evening and welcome to "America's Most Hated".

What you are about to see

- is a crime so heinous... - Anus?

so repulsive, so actual, it may shake your very faith in human nature!

What we are about to show you is actual video tape of the actual crime...

This sucks!

I wanna see some domestic disputes.

... show these criminals actually robbing one of the ready-tellers.

A victimless crime? No way.

I stepped away from the Keno table, Bob, then those creeps attacked me.

Took that bank card right out of my wallet.

- Bust them! - Yeah. Give those guys the chair!

The chair! The chair!

The chair!

What I don't get is how they figured out my password:

BALLS, how did they know I was a pro?

One frightened eye witness

a cleaning woman who concealed herself behind

a trashbin, was willing to tell us what she saw.

One of them was a real ugly fella, Bob. Kept scratching his butt.

This tall-tale gesture may eventually lead police to the robber's liar.

They should pay for their crimes.

Our America's Most Hated crime artists have created

sketches of what we believe these two look like.

If you have any information about these career criminals

please dial our information hotline.

Hey Butt-Head, let's call and say we know those guys.

Maybe there is a reward.

Authorities remained baffled in their search for two mysterious robbers

who seem to have dropped completly out of sight.

Tonight, we recreate exactly what might have occured that terrible night.

What you are about to see is a dramatization by professional thespians.

"Professional lesbians"?

Travis, check it out. Another cash machine ripe for the picking.

These cash machines are the best thing that ever happened to criminals like us.

I can practically smell the cash.

They should arrest those lesbians.

Yeah. Use the taser, the taser.

Zap him! Zap him in the butt.

Who are these monsters?

Well, it is not clear if these thiefs work on a national or international scope.

It is known that they are wily and they are dangerous.

- Cool. - Yeah!

Wait a minute!

This isn't cool.

- This sucks! - Yeah.

Who is this?

- Is this Manute Bol? - Yeah.

That dude can slam dunk without even jumping.

Yeah.

It's too bad he can't sing.

Yeah.

Maybe this isn't Manute Bol.

Yeah. Manute Bol sings better than this.

- This man has lipstick on! - Yeah.

This is scary.

Can I sleep at your house tonight?

I don't know. I'll ask my mom's boyfriend.

Ah, nevermind.

Sometimes I dont know if I'm coming back.

"Coppers" is filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement.

All suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Whoa! Check out that neighborhood!

I've been there.

Ok, now remember to take out the big guy first.

He's armed and completely irrational.

- Ok move! Move! Move! - Let's go, let's go!

- Hey Beavis, did you hear something? - Yeah, I thought it was you.

- Don't move! - Get your hands up!

- Hands on your heads, now! - Now.

Those two guys don't look anything like those lesbians they were after.

Shut up, Butt-Head. They're gonna use the taser! The taser!

Are there, like, pills you can take for that?

Yeah! Yeah! That would be cool!

I have a bad feeling about this video.

Me too.

This is just another bunch of British mama's boys.

Where is Britain?

I think it's like, somewhere near English.

Yeah. That's where everyone talks like a wuss.

Yeah.

"I believe I will go spank my monkey".

Me too.

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