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1
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TRUE CRIME
2
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Banks are cool.
3
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Yeah. That's where
they keep all the money.
4
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"Substantial penalty for
early withdrawal".
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Please remove card.
6
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,566
Cool! It's one of
those money machines!
7
00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:41,836
Hey, somebody left the card.
Shove it in Butt-Head.
8
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,811
No way, you shove it in.
9
00:00:48,464 --> 00:00:50,831
Thank you. Please
enter password.
10
00:00:50,936 --> 00:00:54,336
Hey Beavis, how
do you spell "chode"?
11
00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:57,172
Check this out.
12
00:01:04,766 --> 00:01:06,996
Thank you for
using First Homeowners.
13
00:01:53,804 --> 00:01:54,999
Check it out, Butt-Head.
14
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,061
- That was pretty cool.
- Yeah. Thanks.
15
00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:20,122
This is cool!
16
00:02:20,328 --> 00:02:24,788
Yeah, yeah. It rules!
It rules! It rules!
17
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Yeah. Right on, Beavis.
18
00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:46,437
- These guys are cool.
- Yeah. It kicks butt!
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It kicks ass!
It kicks ass!
20
00:02:49,991 --> 00:02:53,359
- Rock on, Beavis!
- Yeah, yeah! Rock!
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Check it out.
22
00:03:02,184 --> 00:03:04,084
They put that dude in a fence!
23
00:03:05,191 --> 00:03:06,488
Fences are cool.
24
00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:09,520
Especially
electric fences.
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When I was little and had no
sense/I took a whiz on an electric fence.
26
00:03:14,845 --> 00:03:18,907
It hurt so bad/it shocked my balls/
Then I took a crap in my overalls!
27
00:03:18,953 --> 00:03:21,945
- Whoa! That was pretty cool!
- Yeah, yeah.
28
00:03:33,585 --> 00:03:36,316
Whoa! His eyes
are sewn shut.
29
00:03:37,994 --> 00:03:41,589
He must have seen something
so horrible, like, his eyeballs melted.
30
00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:45,302
Maybe he saw that
Winger video.
31
00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:47,643
Yeah! Yeah!
32
00:04:11,198 --> 00:04:13,492
Maybe we should
go buy something.
33
00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:17,135
Like what?
34
00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:22,810
Good evening and welcome to
"America's Most Hated".
35
00:04:23,425 --> 00:04:25,159
What you are about to see
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- is a crime so heinous...
- Anus?
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so repulsive, so actual, it may shake
your very faith in human nature!
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What we are about to show you is
actual video tape of the actual crime...
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This sucks!
40
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:42,156
I wanna see some domestic disputes.
41
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,863
... show these criminals actually
robbing one of the ready-tellers.
42
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:50,176
A victimless crime?
No way.
43
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I stepped away from the Keno table,
Bob, then those creeps attacked me.
44
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Took that bank card
right out of my wallet.
45
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:01,159
- Bust them!
- Yeah. Give those guys the chair!
46
00:05:01,205 --> 00:05:03,196
The chair!
The chair!
47
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:04,607
The chair!
48
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,338
What I don't get is how they
figured out my password:
49
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,852
BALLS, how did they
know I was a pro?
50
00:05:09,891 --> 00:05:11,358
One frightened eye witness
51
00:05:11,361 --> 00:05:14,416
a cleaning woman who
concealed herself behind
52
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a trashbin, was willing to
tell us what she saw.
53
00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:22,006
One of them was a real ugly
fella, Bob. Kept scratching his butt.
54
00:05:22,117 --> 00:05:26,315
This tall-tale gesture may eventually
lead police to the robber's liar.
55
00:05:27,095 --> 00:05:29,723
They should pay
for their crimes.
56
00:05:30,302 --> 00:05:33,340
Our America's Most Hated
crime artists have created
57
00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:36,305
sketches of what we believe
these two look like.
58
00:05:36,347 --> 00:05:39,578
If you have any information
about these career criminals
59
00:05:39,621 --> 00:05:42,181
please dial our
information hotline.
60
00:05:42,227 --> 00:05:45,262
Hey Butt-Head, let's call and
say we know those guys.
61
00:05:47,171 --> 00:05:48,764
Maybe there is a reward.
62
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:02,961
Authorities remained baffled in their
search for two mysterious robbers
63
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:05,599
who seem to have dropped
completly out of sight.
64
00:06:06,077 --> 00:06:10,605
Tonight, we recreate exactly what might
have occured that terrible night.
65
00:06:11,924 --> 00:06:16,122
What you are about to see is a
dramatization by professional thespians.
66
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:18,027
"Professional lesbians"?
67
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:23,777
Travis, check it out. Another cash
machine ripe for the picking.
68
00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:29,683
These cash machines are the best thing
that ever happened to criminals like us.
69
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:36,264
I can practically
smell the cash.
70
00:06:40,685 --> 00:06:42,813
They should arrest
those lesbians.
71
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:46,693
Yeah. Use the taser,
the taser.
72
00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:49,331
Zap him!
Zap him in the butt.
73
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:52,937
Who are these monsters?
74
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:59,075
Well, it is not clear if these thiefs work
on a national or international scope.
75
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:02,857
It is known that they are wily
and they are dangerous.
76
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,466
- Cool.
- Yeah!
77
00:07:13,923 --> 00:07:15,022
Wait a minute!
78
00:07:16,429 --> 00:07:17,794
This isn't cool.
79
00:07:20,404 --> 00:07:22,402
- This sucks!
- Yeah.
80
00:07:24,012 --> 00:07:25,336
Who is this?
81
00:07:30,525 --> 00:07:33,251
- Is this Manute Bol?
- Yeah.
82
00:07:33,866 --> 00:07:36,791
That dude can slam dunk
without even jumping.
83
00:07:36,819 --> 00:07:37,893
Yeah.
84
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:40,944
It's too bad he
can't sing.
85
00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:42,137
Yeah.
86
00:07:57,583 --> 00:07:59,312
Maybe this isn't
Manute Bol.
87
00:08:00,791 --> 00:08:03,817
Yeah. Manute Bol sings better than this.
88
00:08:10,978 --> 00:08:14,045
- This man has lipstick on!
- Yeah.
89
00:08:15,154 --> 00:08:16,751
This is scary.
90
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,455
Can I sleep at your house tonight?
91
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:25,063
I don't know. I'll ask my
mom's boyfriend.
92
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,775
Ah, nevermind.
93
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:38,298
Sometimes I dont know if I'm coming back.
94
00:08:40,308 --> 00:08:45,439
"Coppers" is filmed live on location with
the men and women of law enforcement.
95
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:50,651
All suspects are considered innocent
until proven guilty in a court of law.
96
00:08:53,670 --> 00:08:56,271
Whoa!
Check out that neighborhood!
97
00:08:56,944 --> 00:08:58,034
I've been there.
98
00:08:58,648 --> 00:09:01,913
Ok, now remember to take
out the big guy first.
99
00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:04,549
He's armed and completely irrational.
100
00:09:05,061 --> 00:09:09,521
- Ok move! Move! Move!
- Let's go, let's go!
101
00:09:13,045 --> 00:09:17,039
- Hey Beavis, did you hear something?
- Yeah, I thought it was you.
102
00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:25,730
- Don't move!
- Get your hands up!
103
00:09:26,073 --> 00:09:28,735
- Hands on your heads, now!
- Now.
104
00:09:30,249 --> 00:09:33,742
Those two guys don't look anything
like those lesbians they were after.
105
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:39,485
Shut up, Butt-Head. They're
gonna use the taser! The taser!
106
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:03,784
Are there, like, pills you
can take for that?
107
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,721
Yeah! Yeah!
That would be cool!
108
00:10:12,973 --> 00:10:15,442
I have a bad feeling
about this video.
109
00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:17,042
Me too.
110
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,781
This is just another bunch
of British mama's boys.
111
00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:23,856
Where is Britain?
112
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:32,575
I think it's like, somewhere near English.
113
00:10:33,685 --> 00:10:37,383
Yeah. That's where everyone
talks like a wuss.
114
00:10:38,595 --> 00:10:39,691
Yeah.
115
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,435
"I believe I will go
spank my monkey".
116
00:10:44,804 --> 00:10:45,894
Me too.
117
00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:50,494
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