Original subtitles

HEROES

Tonight on "Cops".

- Police! Move and you're dead! - What?

Whoa, guns are cool!

Go for bust. Tonight on "Cops".

This here's Bob, down at "Bob's Fancy Skeet".

Come on down and try one of our starter rifles.

Hey dude, wake up.

Whichever model you're after,

the skeets are always flyin' down at "Bob's Fancy Skeet".

- Is that that guy from "Cheers"? - Yeah. That's that Sam Malone guy.

- Hey Butt-Head, check out his eyes. - That's cool!

I can do that. Check this out.

Yes!

Whoa.

This rules!

Whoa.

- Cool! - Yeah.

This video has bikini girls and machine guns.

Yeah, and you can see the cleavage.

- Is this that Iggy Pop dude? - No way.

- This guy can kick Iggy Pop's ass. - Yeah.

Whoa, he's got a mike in his mouth.

- If only all videos could be like this. - Yeah.

That would be cool.

Hey there, welcome to "Bob's Fancy Skeet".

You boys eighteen?

No.

Let me start again.

Hey there, you boys eighteen?

No.

Six hours later...

Now, this is how it works:

he yells "pull", you pull the lever,

then he shoots what comes out, you got that?

Hey Beavis, pull my lever.

This is cool.

Push!

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Hey, maybe shoot up.

Yeah.

Pull!

...and we'll be getting up to about, fifty thousand feet...

If you look off to your left right now,

you will see a shimmering sea of trailer homes.

Like the fact you...

Whoa! You bagged the jumbo jet.

Do I get to keep it?

Whoa, cool!

Oh my God! Someone's here!

Thank God! Help us! Help us!

We're trapped in here!

Please! We have two pregnant women on board!

- How did that happen? - Yeah.

Look on the door! There's instructions!

Please, help us get out!

In... case... of...

...pull... hand... l...

That's hard.

Hey Butt-Head, pull my finger!

No way.

Pull my leg!

Please! Just help! Send someone!

Pull my lever!

Is this Spinal Tap?

Tap is cool.

This isn't Spinal Tap.

- This sucks! - Yeah, this sucks!

Where these guys get their clothes?

They bought 'em at the rock 'n roll store at the mall.

Yeah.

- Whoa, look at his face! - Yeah.

His face sucks!

I think these guys played at the state fair last year.

Yeah.

They won a blue ribbon in the pig contest.

Yeah.

Because he's fat.

- Shut up! Shut up! - Yeah. Shut up!

You suck!

Stop! In the name of all that which does not suck!

He has morning wood.

Morning wood is cool.

Sometimes I get morning wood in the late afternoon.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Cool!

Settle down, Beavis.

- Is that a dog? - Yeah, dogs are cool.

Whoa. It's that dude, the Grim Rapper.

Yeah. That's that dude with that curved knife.

Whenever you see that dude it means you're, like, gonna die.

Hey Butt-Head, does that mean we're gonna die?

Yeah.

- Cool! - Yeah.

This is gonna be cool!

The mystery of downed flight 404 has been solved today.

Survivors of the plane, which disappeared last Wednesday,

say that two young men,

pictured in this police sketch, taunted crew and passengers with hope of rescue.

But left the crash site when they were distracted by their own flatulence.

- Hey, move over! - President Clinton was quoted as saying:

"This is a sad commentary on the youth of America.

When the preoccupation with flatulence takes precedence over human life".

Hey Butt-Head. Does this suck?

- It's loud, that's pretty cool. - Yeah.

It's loud.

Whoa, is that Sean Penn?

Who is he?

He is that dude who had sexual intercourse with Madonna.

Oh yeah.

Hey Butt-Head, this guy has the same last name as you.

Yeah. Head.

Butt-Head!

- Butt-Head! - Butt-Head!

- Butt-Head! - Butt-Head!

Butt-Head!

That was cool.

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