Original subtitles

BEDPANS & BROOMSTICKS

Pity with me the blight of the warm water mammal known as the sperm whale.

Man's continued desecration of the sea has left this species' future bleak,

virtually hopeless.

- He said "sperm". - Yeah.

The only hope for these lovable gentle giants,

is that perhaps the young people of today will grow up more caring,

more understanding,

more sensitive to the very special needs of the creatures of the Earth.

Did you fart?

What's this?

This is that movie.

- Is this "Lethal Weapon"? - Yeah.

Yeah, play it.

- Play it dumbass! - Yeah.

Hit him!

Kick him! Kick him! Kick him!

Whoa.

- Maybe you shouldn't have played it. - Yeah.

Hey that's that dude from "Saturday Night Live".

Yeah. "Blues Brother".

- Don't do that spastic thing. - Yeah.

Hey Beavis,

"What Izzy?"

- Yeah. - "Who Izzy?"

Izzy quit Guns N' Roses 'cause Axl's a wuss.

Yeah. He kicked Axl's ass!

He kicked him! Kicked him!

And he hit him!

Settle down, Beavis!

- You're gonna hose your shorts. - Oh yeah.

- Whoa, look at that car. - Yeah. It's all, like, long.

Mass transit is cool.

Yeah. I like ass transit too.

- Community service is cool. - Yeah.

Doesn't this car belong to that big fat dude?

Yeah. Let's steal it.

That would be cool.

It don't get any better than this, dude.

Hey, come on!

Who do I got to boff around here to get a pizza?

You know the drill, Billy Bob, it's just like I told

you after your first coronary and your second.

And your sixth.

You've got to eat right, you gotta exercise and you gotta...

Eat me. Please, eat me Billy Bob.

I'm a big moisty delicious slab of Canadian bacon,

with butter and maple syrup on top and powdered sugar too.

And listen to me Billy, you...

Billy Bob? You've got to count calories.

You got to avoid saturated fats and you've also got to avoid stress.

I'm hot. I'm tasty.

I bet you just can't wait

until my juices are dribbling down your chin, can you Billy Bob?

And most important of all, keep that temper of yours under control!

- Donut! - Donut!

They die!

Punch it, Beavis.

Now, this might be just a tiniest bit uncomfortable, Mr Gillerman,

but if you'll just relax...

Try the morphine. It's excellent today.

That was cool.

Whoa, cool!

This is cool!

Rain.

Yeah.

Yelling is cool.

Yeah! Yeah!

- He is taking a shower 'cause he stinks. - Yeah.

Yeah.

Drums are cool.

Yes!

What?

What?

Is this about, like, the earth?

No, it's about the firemen.

Fire is cool.

Whoa, cool!

The fatter they are, the fatter they fall.

I think he's dead.

He got a wallet?

Ooh, he's breathing.

Better zap him.

Don't skip on the gravy.

Whoa, we're heroes Beavis.

We saved a life.

And we got eleven bucks out of his shorts.

Yeah.

Have a nice day, Beavis.

Shut up!

She looks like that Peter Frampton chick.

Yeah. These chicks aren't as cool as the Cycle Sluts.

- Yeah. - And L7.

Yeah. They kick ass.

Hey Butt-Head, are you sure these are chicks?

They'd better be.

- They're giving me a woodrow. - Yeah. Me too.

Glam rock just isn't what it used to be, Beavis.

He... He said... He said p...

- He said.... - He...

He said "penis".

He said "penis".

He... He said...He... He said...

He... He said...

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