Original subtitles

FOR BETTER OR VERSE

She has fallen on hard times.

But Meredith Baxter Birney is a woman with a mission.

Three missions: Nurse.

Walk, dammit! Walk!

Vigilante.

Stay away from my kid or your ass is mine!

- Seductress. - Dinner's on.

Meredith Baxter Birney "One woman's burden".

Saturday on the Time Of Your Life network.

This sucks. Change the channel, dude.

- Check this out. - Yeah.

Olivia Newton-John sucks.

That's not Olivia Neutered-John.

That's that rich chick from 9-0-...2..6..1.

Oh, yeah. Donna.

That's not Donna. Donna's a slut.

- This is Kelly. - No way, dude.

Donna is not a slut. She is the virgin, Kelly is the slut.

- Does she look like a slut to you Beavis? - Yeah.

That's why it's Donna.

Yeah, but you just said Donna is not a slut.

Oh yeah. That must be Kelly.

Whoa.

- Hey Beavis. - Yeah, yeah.

Check it out... it... it's...

Which one is Ozzy?

That's him in the Members Only jacket.

- No way, that's Ozzy's son. - Yeah.

- Ozzy's older than that - Yeah, Ozzy is an old fart.

- Cool! - Yeah.

- This is cool. - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Whoa.

Hey Butt-Head, are these guys from Seattle?

No, ass munch, they are American.

Oh yeah.

Whoa, that's that Paul Shaffer dude on the wall.

- Cool! - Yeah.

Hey Butt-Head, Ozzy bit off the head of a cow once.

Yeah, that was cool. Milk poured out of its neck.

No, dude. You light it first.

No, no. Light it first, then spray.

Yeah light it first, then spray.

That was cool.

Okay class.

Can I have your attention please?

Okay class.

Today we're going to explore the world of haiku.

We're gonna explore the world of getting high?

Cool!

No Butt-Head, not "high cool".

But the ancient Japanese spare haunting poetry called haiku.

Haiku is a three line poem.

The first and last line are five syllables.

The middle line is seven syllables.

A syllable, of course, is one sound.

"Butt-Head" is two syllables.

Butt and Head.

So, now that you know that, Butt-Head,

why don't you compose a haiku for the class.

Okay, come on, Butt-Head.

- I have to go to the bathroom. - Don't be scared.

You're blocking.

Come on Butt-Head, five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.

It's easy. Make your haiku about something you know.

What you did yesterday, for instance.

Now, your first line is five syllables. Come on.

That was cool.

Okay, next line - seven syllables.

- When we killed that frog. - Okay.

And the last line - five syllables.

It won't croak again.

Okay.

"That was cool huh huh".

"When we killed that frog huh huh".

It won't croak again.

Okay. Your turn, Beavis.

Okay, Beavis.

"Huh huh huh huh huh".

"Huh huh huh m huh huh huh m."

"Huh huh m uh huh."

Okay, great work guys. You both get A's for this exercise.

- I like fire. - Yeah.

Fire!

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

What?

- Huh? - Yeah.

What?

- The boogedy-woogedy-googedy. - Yeah.

Connected to the what bone?

Connected to the butt bone.

Cool! I like explosions.

- Yeah, me too. - These guys are cool.

Yeah.

Never can start this career councelling too early.

Okay, here is the files.

Oh, whoa, there are people in the bottom percentile...

Now, this teacher's note says you should be poets.

- And go to the Liberal Arts college. - That was cool when the cyborg...

- Now, what do teachers know... - made himself self look like...

You boys ever read Huxley's "Brave New World"?

... kicked ass.

- Yeah. - No, I guess not.

- Well, Huxley thought that... - Veltor is cool.

- humans could be... - The defenders of Daytron City

could kick his ass any day.

...fulfilling to the stupidest people, hmm well.

Yes!

- Yes! - Yes! Yes!

- Let's rock! - Yeah.

- How come these guys are never on TV? - Yeah.

- They are cool. - Yeah.

It's about time they played something cool.

- These guys have cool haircuts. - Yeah.

I'm gonna get dreadlocks like that.

First you, like, roll up your hair, and then you take a stick,

an... an... and take, like, some glue.

Shut up, dumbass! I'm trying to listen.

These guys rock!

Yeah.

Fishbones are cool!

- They should play these guys all the time. - Yeah.

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