Original subtitles

LAWN & GARDEN

Have you been injured in an accident and was not your fault?

Then you need the tough smart lawyer Joe Edler.

Joe Edler can help you with...

And when I was in the hospital they even sent flowers.

Have you been injured?

- Have you been injured? - Have you been injured?

Than call the injury hotline: 1-400-Bad-Back.

Check this out.

- Injury hotline. - Hello.

- Can I help you? - Ah, yes.

- I've been injured. - You have?

Yeah, I have a big crack in my butt.

That was cool.

Whoa.

This is disgusting.

- Look at his eyebrows. - Yeah, his eyebrows suck.

Whoa.

I'm being hypnotized.

Yeah, me too.

I'm gonna vomit.

He's stuck in a crack.

- Whoa, that guitar is cool. - Yeah.

It's shaped like one of those thingies.

Yeah. Like that tattoo on your mom's butt.

No, that one is on her shoulder. She's got a battleship on her butt.

Oh yeah.

And remember "I'm not only the Hair Club president. I'm also a member".

You said "member".

That was cool.

Sing, fat boy, sing.

Paradise sucks.

Yeah.

Now I want you boys to prune both of these trees up front here, and I...

Hey, you boys look familiar.

Aren't you the ones that ran off with my riding mower last week?

No.

You the ones that painted my cat's butt?

No.

Well, the cops will get 'em.

Luckily, I've got homeowners insurance.

You've got what?

Homeowners insurance.

Now, have you boys done any pruning before?

Yeah.

You know, back when I was your age, I'd work fourteen hours a day pruning trees

and still have time to come home and mow the lawn.

I'll be back in a while to see how you're doing.

Remember, it ain't what you cut, it's what you don't cut.

What a dork.

Yeah.

Boy, oh boy.

What I wouldn't give for five minutes alone

with those little bastards that took my mower.

Hey Butt-Head,

you think a man will ever land on Uranus?

Maybe on your anus.

What are y'all doing? Chokin' your chicken?

Come on, let's get to prunin'.

What are we supposed to do again?

I forgot.

Oh yeah, I think were supposed to, like, cut off the branches.

All of them?

Yeah, I guess.

Cool.

Hey, since we gotta cut off all the branches,

let's just cut it right down here.

Yeah. Then we'll get them all at once.

You're pretty smart, Butt-Head.

Yeah.

Maybe he'll pay us extra.

Yeah, that would be cool.

Whoa. That was cool.

Yeah, this chainsaw kicks ass.

Pruning is cool.

Yeah.

Let's go prune some power lines.

"Welcome to the jungle, baby, You're gonna die".

We're gonna have to charge you extra, sir.

Yeah.

We pruned the house, too.

That was cool.

Warm it up, Kris.

Yeah. Warm it up, Kris.

Warmer. Fire.

How do those guys pee with their pants on backwards?

Hey Butt-Head, which one is Kross?

Kross is the Mac Daddy. And Kris is the Daddy Mac.

Who do you think would win in a fight between Daddy Mac and the Mac Daddy?

I don't know.

But they could both kick Axl's ass.

Yeah. That would be cool, if Axl got his ass kicked

by a couple of twelve year olds.

Hey Butt-Head, what we're we born to do?

This court is now in session.

I know you've been sworn, sir, and I have read your complaint.

It's my turn to be the judge, ass wipe.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

This court is now in session.

How do you please, to these charges of...

Trespassing.

Oh, yeah.

Trespassing.

And buzzing around and getting in my face and stuff.

How do you please, to these charges against you?

The defense rests.

Shut up!

Okay.

I hereby sentence the defendant to death by...

Death by...

Saw off its tweeter.

- Breaking the law, breaking the law. - Breaking the law, breaking the law.

- Breaking the law, breaking the law. - Breaking the law, breaking the law.

That was cool.

Humpty kicks ass.

Yeah, Humpty rules.

"The name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty".

"Rappers in the top ten please allow me to bump thee".

Hey Beavis, I heard this guy really doesn't have a nose.

He got in some accident.

No way Butt-Head, that's just a plastic noise.

I know, that's because he had plastic surgery.

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah.

"Do the Humpty Hump". "Do the Humpty Hump".

"The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump".

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