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00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,218
♪ Oh, Super Bowl ♪
2
00:00:03,259 --> 00:00:06,876
♪ The plays, the plays,
they're calling ♪
3
00:00:06,994 --> 00:00:09,806
♪ From end to end ♪
4
00:00:09,986 --> 00:00:11,020
♪ And... ♪
5
00:00:11,106 --> 00:00:12,942
- Oh!
- What happened?
6
00:00:13,028 --> 00:00:15,879
Do I call the nine and the one
and the other one?
7
00:00:15,965 --> 00:00:19,050
Why is my fridge filled with
non-football-related foods
8
00:00:19,135 --> 00:00:20,151
on Super Bowl Sunday?
9
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:21,987
There's no room
for my Jerry Rice pudding.
10
00:00:22,073 --> 00:00:23,389
Haley's baby shower
is today.
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00:00:23,437 --> 00:00:24,974
I cleared it with you,
like, a month ago.
12
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,395
Can't you just record
the game?
13
00:00:26,481 --> 00:00:27,997
And what?
Watch it tomorrow morning?
14
00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:30,879
Look. There's no reason a
football game and a baby shower
15
00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:32,261
can't co-exist
under the same roof.
16
00:00:32,347 --> 00:00:33,497
Maybe you won't
get in my way.
17
00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:35,020
Baby showers
are pretty tame.
18
00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:38,716
Who's ready
for a baby show-ahhh?!
19
00:00:38,809 --> 00:00:39,844
Ha!
20
00:00:46,744 --> 00:00:49,582
*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 10 Episode 15
Title : "SuperShowerBabyBowl"
21
00:00:49,668 --> 00:00:51,392
Synchronized by srjanapala
22
00:00:53,451 --> 00:00:54,451
Mmm.
23
00:00:56,364 --> 00:00:59,606
I'm making White Russians
for the baby show-ahhh.
24
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,356
A little liquid courage makes
all the naughty games better.
25
00:01:02,477 --> 00:01:05,059
I think you're mixing up
baby shower with bridal shower.
26
00:01:05,145 --> 00:01:07,817
Well, my bridal shower did take
place when I was pregnant.
27
00:01:07,903 --> 00:01:09,254
The cops even showed up.
28
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,731
Of course,
they weren't real cops.
29
00:01:10,817 --> 00:01:13,254
One of them rubbed
his butt against my belly.
30
00:01:13,348 --> 00:01:14,411
Don't tell Haley.
31
00:01:14,526 --> 00:01:16,325
- Or how about, "Don't tell Alex"?
- Mm.
32
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,746
Super Bowl squares here!
33
00:01:18,832 --> 00:01:20,575
Get your Super Bowl squares!
34
00:01:20,688 --> 00:01:21,918
No.
Not this again.
35
00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:23,522
Uh, actually, we've made
some refinements.
36
00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:25,123
Last year, the price
was a little high.
37
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:26,391
The year before,
too low.
38
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,989
So this year, we've landed
on the perfect number.
39
00:01:29,169 --> 00:01:30,879
$3.75 per square.
40
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,497
I'll do what I did last year.
41
00:01:32,645 --> 00:01:34,996
- Give me 11 squares.
- Okay. Easy enough.
42
00:01:35,082 --> 00:01:37,395
- Um...
- Uh...
43
00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:41,122
No. No Super Bowl math
on the baby shower side.
44
00:01:41,208 --> 00:01:42,434
Go over there.
45
00:01:42,708 --> 00:01:44,848
I'm telling you,
you look cute.
46
00:01:44,944 --> 00:01:47,028
You know what's not cute?
Lying to me.
47
00:01:47,443 --> 00:01:49,356
This gets better once they
come out, right?
48
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,946
- What happened?
- Well, my last pair of jeans exploded,
49
00:01:52,032 --> 00:01:54,356
I can't wear skirts because
my thighs are growing hair
50
00:01:54,456 --> 00:01:55,672
faster than I can shave it,
51
00:01:55,758 --> 00:01:58,247
so I'm wearing ski pants
to my own baby shower.
52
00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,528
I'm telling you,
no one's
53
00:01:59,614 --> 00:02:01,098
- even gonna notice.
- Ohh...
54
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:03,910
What's that sound?
It's like
55
00:02:03,996 --> 00:02:06,160
when the doors on the starship
Enterprise open.
56
00:02:06,246 --> 00:02:08,137
Hey, you guys want to buy
a Super Bowl square?
57
00:02:08,223 --> 00:02:09,356
Only $3.75.
58
00:02:09,442 --> 00:02:10,926
Cool.
Can I take three squares?
59
00:02:11,012 --> 00:02:12,583
Yeah, I need something good
today, too.
60
00:02:12,669 --> 00:02:14,004
We'll split five squares.
61
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:16,293
Uh... do you have quarters?
62
00:02:16,414 --> 00:02:17,530
Oh,
I don't carry change
63
00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:19,942
since the last time
I got struck by lightning.
64
00:02:23,114 --> 00:02:24,450
Hello, Phillip.
65
00:02:24,867 --> 00:02:26,231
Hello, Manuel.
66
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:27,903
Against my better judgment,
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00:02:27,989 --> 00:02:30,174
I wrote a part for Phil
in my new movie.
68
00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:32,993
Things got heated,
words were exchanged,
69
00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:36,043
which is surprising, considering
he had a mouthful of scenery.
70
00:02:36,174 --> 00:02:37,198
Actors.
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00:02:37,284 --> 00:02:39,534
Writers.
They think they're so great.
72
00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:41,367
"Oh,
my words are so precious."
73
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,778
Try listening for once.
74
00:02:42,864 --> 00:02:45,262
Maybe you'll learn how humans
actually talk.
75
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,770
Wait, is it...
Is it "talk" or "speak"?
76
00:02:47,856 --> 00:02:49,208
Oh, that's right.
77
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,978
No one cares!
78
00:02:51,064 --> 00:02:54,049
Hello, hello.
I'm here for the Super Bowl.
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00:02:54,135 --> 00:02:55,794
- And I am here for the baby shower.
- Okay, yep.
80
00:02:55,879 --> 00:02:57,762
I'm here for
some sort of punishment, I think.
81
00:02:57,848 --> 00:02:59,373
- Hmm.
- Lily and her friend, Christina,
82
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:00,736
got into a huge fight.
83
00:03:00,822 --> 00:03:03,590
And I was hoping we could have the
girls sit down and talk it out.
84
00:03:03,676 --> 00:03:05,528
But Mitchell said "no,"
Christina's in the wrong.
85
00:03:05,613 --> 00:03:07,747
And apparently,
Mitchell's the law.
86
00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:11,293
He is. Lily, you're very lucky
to have such a wise papa.
87
00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:13,309
- Mm-hmm.
- Assistant District Attorney.
88
00:03:13,395 --> 00:03:14,801
Pritchett
is a hero.
89
00:03:14,887 --> 00:03:17,223
Huh. So this one thinks
you're cool now?
90
00:03:17,309 --> 00:03:19,411
Okay, Gloria loves
crime stories,
91
00:03:19,497 --> 00:03:21,254
especially women
who kill their husbands.
92
00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:24,395
And I recently prosecuted
the Bel Air Black Widow.
93
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,458
She came to court
every single day.
94
00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:28,770
We find the defendant
guilty.
95
00:03:28,856 --> 00:03:31,098
Yes! Whoop, whoop!
96
00:03:31,184 --> 00:03:34,059
Hey, Counselor.
This isn't over.
97
00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:35,833
Lady, you're like me
in high school,
98
00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:38,282
cause you ain't gonna be
coming out for 17 years!
99
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,676
Boom goes the dynamite!
100
00:03:42,169 --> 00:03:45,283
Cam, have a bowl
of my famous chili.
101
00:03:45,386 --> 00:03:47,174
I didn't know
you made chili.
102
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:49,416
I know all about
Jay's damn chili.
103
00:03:49,502 --> 00:03:51,893
We talked about it last year
on this very day.
104
00:03:52,048 --> 00:03:53,588
Promises were made.
105
00:03:53,674 --> 00:03:55,698
Next year, I'm
getting you your own football chair
106
00:03:55,784 --> 00:03:57,801
and you're gonna help me
make my famous chili.
107
00:03:57,957 --> 00:03:59,407
5:00 a.m.
108
00:03:59,493 --> 00:04:02,143
Be there or be square.
109
00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:04,634
You know, I never entirely felt
Jay's approval,
110
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,303
so, this was a big step for us.
111
00:04:06,389 --> 00:04:07,505
I counted the days.
112
00:04:07,644 --> 00:04:08,823
Then Super Bowl Eve,
113
00:04:08,909 --> 00:04:11,151
I went and I bought the finest
chili thickeners...
114
00:04:11,237 --> 00:04:13,321
Corn flour and potato flour.
115
00:04:13,407 --> 00:04:15,908
And I showed up
an hour before dawn.
116
00:04:16,205 --> 00:04:19,237
I called Jay's cell
as to not startle Gloria.
117
00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:20,737
Hey, what's up?
118
00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:23,416
He had no idea
why I was calling.
119
00:04:23,532 --> 00:04:26,250
Clearly promises made didn't
mean as much to him.
120
00:04:26,373 --> 00:04:27,658
But I couldn't let him
know that.
121
00:04:27,744 --> 00:04:30,323
Oh, uh, Jay, is th...
Is that you?
122
00:04:30,556 --> 00:04:32,580
I-I must... I must've
butt-dialed you.
123
00:04:32,666 --> 00:04:34,084
Why else would I be
calling you so early...
124
00:04:34,169 --> 00:04:35,846
on a regular Sunday morning?
125
00:04:35,949 --> 00:04:37,131
Sorry.
126
00:04:37,232 --> 00:04:38,648
I felt like a jilted lover
127
00:04:38,765 --> 00:04:41,908
standing on his porch,
holding those beautiful flours.
128
00:04:43,565 --> 00:04:46,816
- Oh.
- You can't hide in here all day.
129
00:04:46,902 --> 00:04:48,152
To me,
you've never been hotter,
130
00:04:48,238 --> 00:04:49,799
and I've seen you hitchhike
in a bikini.
131
00:04:49,885 --> 00:04:51,001
There you are.
132
00:04:51,087 --> 00:04:53,393
I'm sorry you're having
a bad day, uh...
133
00:04:53,535 --> 00:04:56,377
but I thought you should know,
I invited Danielle.
134
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,811
Danielle?
Ugh, she's so annoying.
135
00:04:58,897 --> 00:05:01,408
Everything she says
sounds like a question?
136
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,717
But it's not?
137
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,420
Yeah,
but she's in her, like,
138
00:05:04,506 --> 00:05:06,393
thousandth month
of pregnancy.
139
00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:07,562
Oh, my God.
140
00:05:07,648 --> 00:05:09,261
That means I won't be
the grossest preggo here.
141
00:05:09,346 --> 00:05:12,031
Bless you. Oh.
142
00:05:12,148 --> 00:05:13,220
Thanks.
143
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,063
And thanks
for inviting me today.
144
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:16,948
Of course.
You're the baby's father.
145
00:05:17,034 --> 00:05:18,557
Yeah, but it's
a family thing,
146
00:05:18,643 --> 00:05:20,713
and I don't always
feel like I belong.
147
00:05:20,799 --> 00:05:22,104
Sometimes
they look at me like
148
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,869
the proverbial bird
in the punch bowl.
149
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:26,158
Almost.
150
00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:28,237
Uh, three times...
151
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:29,800
I'm sorry, but every way
you look at it,
152
00:05:29,885 --> 00:05:30,963
Dylan comes up short.
153
00:05:31,049 --> 00:05:33,026
And Haley's totally
getting rooked.
154
00:05:33,915 --> 00:05:35,963
Oh! Okay, well,
that's interesting.
155
00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:38,065
Um, they lost track of the
Black Widow at the county jail.
156
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:39,846
- She escaped?
- Mm-hmm.
157
00:05:39,997 --> 00:05:42,014
Are you scared?
What?!
158
00:05:42,139 --> 00:05:43,656
Exactly!
159
00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:45,713
- She should be scared of you.
- Mm.
160
00:05:45,828 --> 00:05:47,624
If she's smart, that young lady
161
00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:50,083
- will run and keep running.
- Mm-hmm.
162
00:05:52,622 --> 00:05:54,052
What spice is in here?
163
00:05:54,138 --> 00:05:55,505
Is it... Is that dill?
164
00:05:55,595 --> 00:05:56,811
Why the hell is dill
in here?
165
00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:58,599
It's a...
It's a catastrophe.
166
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:06,458
So, I'm just gonna repurpose
some of this hair
167
00:06:06,544 --> 00:06:08,419
to cover the bald spot
and zits...
168
00:06:08,505 --> 00:06:11,880
- Zits?!
- And "zits" gonna look amazing.
169
00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:13,383
Ta da!
170
00:06:13,497 --> 00:06:14,885
- Ta da?!
- Yeah.
171
00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:16,974
I have a huge gut
and a comb-over.
172
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,151
I look like
a divorced dentist.
173
00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:22,021
Oh, Danielle!
174
00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:24,177
You look so good.
Why?
175
00:06:24,263 --> 00:06:27,310
It's the magic of pregnancy?
#Blessed?
176
00:06:27,645 --> 00:06:28,794
What the hell?!
177
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,069
Alex said it was okay
if I came early?
178
00:06:31,264 --> 00:06:33,616
Haley,
I'm so happy for you?
179
00:06:33,702 --> 00:06:35,163
I need Dylan.
Where is Dylan?
180
00:06:35,249 --> 00:06:36,545
Where's Dylan?
181
00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:39,737
Haley's not gonna find Dylan.
182
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:40,953
He's gone,
183
00:06:41,039 --> 00:06:43,074
and it's everybody's fault!
184
00:06:44,587 --> 00:06:47,048
What is up
with all the funeral faces?
185
00:06:47,134 --> 00:06:48,359
Come on, people,
this is supposed to be
186
00:06:48,444 --> 00:06:50,420
- a baby show-ahhh.
- Don't say "show-ahhh".
187
00:06:50,506 --> 00:06:52,007
Nobody wants it.
188
00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:55,678
Okay. So, Dylan
misunderstood
189
00:06:55,764 --> 00:06:58,491
a bunch of the things he heard
us say, got upset, and ran off.
190
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,537
Let's not pretend
this was some mistake
191
00:07:00,622 --> 00:07:02,639
or Dylan being oversensitive.
192
00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:04,085
We've all given him
plenty of reasons
193
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,756
to feel unwelcome
in this family.
194
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,795
And some of us
do have a meanness.
195
00:07:07,881 --> 00:07:10,842
I'll leave it at that.
A monstrous cruelty.
196
00:07:10,928 --> 00:07:12,241
Enough said.
Sadistic.
197
00:07:12,327 --> 00:07:13,717
My family
is really chill?
198
00:07:13,803 --> 00:07:15,248
Oh!
You were a mistake.
199
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,459
Okay, Haley's being occupied
by Luke,
200
00:07:17,545 --> 00:07:18,608
so we have some time.
201
00:07:18,694 --> 00:07:19,877
We just have to find Dylan
202
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:22,225
without letting Haley know
he's run away.
203
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,101
That kind of sounds like
a shower problem, though.
204
00:07:24,186 --> 00:07:25,273
I don't know how fair it is
to bring in
205
00:07:25,358 --> 00:07:26,781
- the Super Bowl folk into this.
- Hey!
206
00:07:26,866 --> 00:07:30,827
My big sister gave me
the honor of hosting her shower,
207
00:07:30,944 --> 00:07:32,913
and it's gonna be great.
208
00:07:32,999 --> 00:07:34,475
So, the one person
209
00:07:34,561 --> 00:07:36,123
who might know where
Dylan went, Haley,
210
00:07:36,209 --> 00:07:38,426
is the one person
who can't know he's missing.
211
00:07:38,506 --> 00:07:40,467
That's what I call
a dramatic situation.
212
00:07:40,936 --> 00:07:43,016
Shouldn't you be directing
the life out of it?
213
00:07:43,217 --> 00:07:45,522
Joe, where does Dylan
like to go when he's depressed?
214
00:07:45,608 --> 00:07:47,819
Alex, he likes him,
but it's not like...
215
00:07:47,905 --> 00:07:50,202
Park, pet store,
guitar shop.
216
00:07:50,991 --> 00:07:52,889
What?
I follow his Instagram.
217
00:07:52,975 --> 00:07:54,522
He finds beauty
in the mundane.
218
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,858
Okay. We'll search for Dylan
in teams.
219
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,795
- Mitch, Gloria... park.
- Score.
220
00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:00,538
- Guitar store... Cam, Jay.
- Um...
221
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:02,998
And the pet store...
Phil, Manny, go.
222
00:08:03,084 --> 00:08:04,873
- Actually, could I trade?
- Your pretty face
223
00:08:04,959 --> 00:08:07,123
for one that's been freshly
whooped? Try me!
224
00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:08,493
- Would it be possible if I could...
- Move!
225
00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:10,647
Ah, they'll have
a bathroom at the store.
226
00:08:13,852 --> 00:08:15,709
He's not stuck
in the tube slide.
227
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,194
Ah, it was too much
to hope he'd be
228
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,389
where we found him
when Mister Rogers died.
229
00:08:19,701 --> 00:08:21,202
Oh.
230
00:08:21,897 --> 00:08:23,225
"You messed with the wrong girl.
231
00:08:23,311 --> 00:08:25,022
- "I'm coming for you."
- Who is this?
232
00:08:25,115 --> 00:08:26,299
310.
233
00:08:26,385 --> 00:08:27,944
That's Bel Air.
234
00:08:28,192 --> 00:08:31,663
The Black Widow is out
and already threatening you?
235
00:08:31,749 --> 00:08:32,920
This is good.
236
00:08:33,006 --> 00:08:35,491
You get to catch her
and be a hero again.
237
00:08:35,577 --> 00:08:37,927
You know, maybe I should...
I should send the Black Widow
238
00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:39,889
a... a "no hard feelings"
text.
239
00:08:39,975 --> 00:08:40,990
- No.
- No?
240
00:08:41,076 --> 00:08:42,492
What you said in court
was right.
241
00:08:42,578 --> 00:08:44,764
That animal deserved
no mercy.
242
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:45,983
She deserves a cage.
243
00:08:46,084 --> 00:08:48,803
Well, you know, I said some
things, she said some things.
244
00:08:48,889 --> 00:08:49,905
It's... Wait, um...
245
00:08:49,991 --> 00:08:51,710
"I am not afraid.
246
00:08:51,796 --> 00:08:53,834
- "Bring it on."
- I... Oh, okay.
247
00:08:53,971 --> 00:08:55,913
All bullies are the same.
248
00:08:56,105 --> 00:08:57,422
They act like
they're tough,
249
00:08:57,508 --> 00:08:59,458
but when you punch 'em
in the nose, they back down.
250
00:08:59,543 --> 00:09:01,063
Yeah.
251
00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:04,519
"I know where you live.
252
00:09:04,605 --> 00:09:05,788
You're dead."
253
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,731
That response is rare.
254
00:09:11,283 --> 00:09:12,366
There he is.
255
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,770
Dylan.
256
00:09:14,056 --> 00:09:15,653
Hey, Dylan!
257
00:09:15,801 --> 00:09:17,150
Oh, sorry.
258
00:09:17,309 --> 00:09:20,262
That's the third time I've made
that exact same mistake.
259
00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:22,879
Makes me wonder about some
of my dates in 'Nam.
260
00:09:23,035 --> 00:09:24,910
Well, he ain't here.
Let's go.
261
00:09:24,996 --> 00:09:28,261
My famous chili has been
simmering since 5:00 a.m.
262
00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:29,831
Y-You know, it is funny
263
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,629
that you keep calling
your chili "famous"
264
00:09:31,715 --> 00:09:33,692
when I
find it a little...
265
00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:35,582
forgettable.
266
00:09:35,668 --> 00:09:37,352
Cam,
I'm a successful man.
267
00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:39,054
Captain of industry,
268
00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:40,832
made out
with a Gabor sister,
269
00:09:41,026 --> 00:09:43,278
and if I can swing
a few more board votes,
270
00:09:43,364 --> 00:09:44,629
we break ground on
271
00:09:44,715 --> 00:09:48,035
the Pritchett School of
Closet Science at Ohio State.
272
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,387
Not really sweating
your take on my chili.
273
00:09:50,968 --> 00:09:52,715
He'd hurt me deeply.
274
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,809
I kept mentioning chili
'cause, you know,
275
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,277
I was trying to jog his memory,
276
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,379
'cause we were supposed
to make it together.
277
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,778
I've waited my whole life for
a special Super Bowl buddy,
278
00:10:01,832 --> 00:10:04,383
someone who understands
it isn't just a game.
279
00:10:04,469 --> 00:10:08,403
It's a 15-hour, 4-meal,
2-shirt, 1-nap experience,
280
00:10:08,489 --> 00:10:10,840
and I thought Cam
could be that buddy.
281
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:12,606
Then I started worrying.
282
00:10:12,692 --> 00:10:15,442
Cam might forget
a date we set a year ago.
283
00:10:17,219 --> 00:10:18,660
He remembered.
284
00:10:18,749 --> 00:10:20,934
He remembered, Stella!
285
00:10:21,659 --> 00:10:23,207
Be cool.
286
00:10:24,278 --> 00:10:25,840
Hey, what's up?
287
00:10:27,551 --> 00:10:28,700
Oh, butt-dial.
288
00:10:28,809 --> 00:10:30,160
No, I see.
289
00:10:30,444 --> 00:10:32,082
Yeah, take it easy.
290
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:44,520
Nose print, man's...
Face high,
291
00:10:44,606 --> 00:10:46,355
direct eye-line
to baby bunnies.
292
00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:49,176
- Dylan was here.
- This guy's about to have a kid.
293
00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:50,981
- What kind of adult male...
- They're waking up.
294
00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:52,762
They're waking up.
295
00:10:53,098 --> 00:10:55,035
Hey, look, he's not here.
296
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,481
Let's just get back
to the parties.
297
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,145
Ooh, I got to stop at that
laundromat across the street.
298
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,590
It'll take a second.
I just need change for my squares.
299
00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:03,986
Funny. You're so focused when
it's your passion project.
300
00:11:04,072 --> 00:11:05,840
Y-You know what, Manny?
301
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:06,949
You're right.
302
00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:09,685
That whole thing
was my bad.
303
00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:11,379
Thanks, Phil.
304
00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:15,809
Let me get both these doors so
you and your ego can fit inside.
305
00:11:17,091 --> 00:11:18,668
I don't know how
you can get mad at me
306
00:11:18,754 --> 00:11:20,613
after posting
that humiliating video.
307
00:11:20,699 --> 00:11:23,153
- What video?
- Don't play dumb.
308
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,723
- Me cold.
- Cut!
309
00:11:28,236 --> 00:11:29,585
"I'm so cold."
310
00:11:29,695 --> 00:11:32,699
Not "Me cold."
Not "I'm not not cold."
311
00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:34,137
Not "Ice, ice baby."
312
00:11:34,223 --> 00:11:35,949
No humans
say those things!
313
00:11:36,035 --> 00:11:38,606
It is so difficult
to build a performance
314
00:11:38,692 --> 00:11:40,976
with a constant barrage
of notes!
315
00:11:41,062 --> 00:11:43,020
Note! Say the line!
316
00:11:43,106 --> 00:11:44,692
Three words!
317
00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:46,036
You know what three words
I'd like to hear?
318
00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:48,105
"Nice death, Phil!"
319
00:11:48,191 --> 00:11:50,426
I'm just trying
to **** help you,
320
00:11:50,512 --> 00:11:52,348
you **** diva! ****
321
00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:55,020
And you keep
**** yourself.
322
00:11:55,106 --> 00:11:58,371
Stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid!
323
00:11:58,519 --> 00:11:59,987
Unbelievable!
324
00:12:03,629 --> 00:12:07,308
Stupid, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid, stupid!
325
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:09,780
Fortunately, it cut off right
before I really lost it.
326
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:14,153
Manny, why would I post a video
calling myself a "terrible actor"?
327
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,840
Huh.
328
00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:17,984
Could've been my editor.
329
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,184
During a particularly intense
creative discussion,
330
00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:22,723
I may have slapped him
in front of his girlfriend.
331
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,125
Phil, I'm sorry.
332
00:12:24,212 --> 00:12:26,457
I think the reason
I got frustrated
333
00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:28,746
is only partly due to your
infuriating incompetence.
334
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,332
Was that so hard?
335
00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:32,645
Between us,
I've applied to transfer
336
00:12:32,731 --> 00:12:35,035
to somewhere I can major
in accounting or law.
337
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,371
Something safe.
338
00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:37,465
I've started to question
339
00:12:37,551 --> 00:12:39,965
if I have any talent
as a filmmaker.
340
00:12:40,707 --> 00:12:42,145
Let's find out.
341
00:12:42,231 --> 00:12:44,168
- You got your film with you?
- On my phone.
342
00:12:44,254 --> 00:12:46,168
We have a perfect
test audience.
343
00:12:46,254 --> 00:12:47,837
Take a chance.
Let's, uh...
344
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:49,406
Let's see what you got.
345
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:51,285
Okay. I mean,
I got my projector.
346
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,871
And a screen.
347
00:12:52,957 --> 00:12:54,855
- All right. I'll set it up.
- Great.
348
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,126
Meanwhile, I'll warm up
the crowd with a magic trick.
349
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,762
Excuse me.
350
00:12:58,848 --> 00:13:01,426
I need everyone to put their
wallets in this pillow case
351
00:13:01,512 --> 00:13:03,559
and turn and face the wall.
352
00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:07,379
Well, that's it.
No one knows where Dylan is.
353
00:13:07,465 --> 00:13:08,535
They better.
354
00:13:08,628 --> 00:13:10,403
Her friends are gonna be here
in 20 minutes...
355
00:13:10,488 --> 00:13:12,309
The same ones who
at a graduation party
356
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:14,768
voted her most likely to be
pregnant and alone.
357
00:13:14,854 --> 00:13:16,159
- Hmm.
- Like I always say...
358
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:18,596
It's better to have no friends
than mean friends.
359
00:13:18,682 --> 00:13:20,081
Well...
360
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:21,987
Dylan's always been a runner.
361
00:13:22,485 --> 00:13:25,049
God, you remember
when he was a blond?
362
00:13:25,135 --> 00:13:27,174
Ugh, I called him
"Lady Dye-Job"
363
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,978
and he ran off,
and I had to track him down...
364
00:13:30,064 --> 00:13:32,698
I know where Dylan is.
I know where he is!
365
00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:36,177
Dylan.
366
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:38,047
Hey, Dylan, open up.
It's Claire.
367
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,081
I... I don't
want to talk, Mrs. D.
368
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,604
Look, I realize
you're upset.
369
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,588
But those things
that Cam and Mitch
370
00:13:43,674 --> 00:13:45,268
and Luke and Phil
and Gloria said,
371
00:13:45,354 --> 00:13:48,073
they're... they were just, uh,
silly misunderstandings.
372
00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,502
Okay.
373
00:13:49,588 --> 00:13:51,299
But what about
what you said?
374
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,682
You realize we're gonna
have to baby-proof
375
00:13:53,768 --> 00:13:55,041
all the cabinets
at home, right?
376
00:13:55,142 --> 00:13:56,331
Think of how cute it'll be
377
00:13:56,417 --> 00:13:57,987
watching Dylan
try to get into them.
378
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,276
I...
shouldn't have said that,
379
00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:05,182
and I obviously
didn't realize...
380
00:14:05,268 --> 00:14:07,088
What?
That I would get that joke?
381
00:14:07,198 --> 00:14:08,659
The insult
set it up, Mrs. D.
382
00:14:08,745 --> 00:14:11,752
- "Lady Dye-Job" has feelings.
- Oh, Dylan.
383
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,469
Dylan, come on. Honey,
the party is starting...
384
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,534
Please.
I... I'm sorry.
385
00:14:17,908 --> 00:14:19,377
I'm leaving.
386
00:14:23,808 --> 00:14:25,379
Open up.
It's Mr. Gonzales,
387
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,776
the parking attendant.
388
00:14:26,862 --> 00:14:28,291
I'm not an idiot, Mrs. D.
389
00:14:28,377 --> 00:14:30,684
I know you just went to get
Mr. Gonzales
390
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,690
so you could run in here
when I open the door for him.
391
00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:47,925
Hey.
392
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:49,917
Hey. Hey, Dylan?
393
00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:51,119
Dylan? Dyl...
394
00:14:51,295 --> 00:14:52,849
Ohh, damn it!
395
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:57,036
Can we hurry? I want to get back
so I can apologize to Christina.
396
00:14:57,122 --> 00:14:59,026
Oh, no. Lily,
why risk your heart?
397
00:14:59,112 --> 00:15:00,414
Christina will
just hurt you.
398
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,761
I couldn't agree more,
Lily.
399
00:15:01,847 --> 00:15:04,364
If Christina doesn't appreciate
your warmth, your humor,
400
00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:05,656
your great stories,
401
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:06,883
she's just not worth it.
402
00:15:06,976 --> 00:15:08,827
Oh, maybe she'll regret
taking you for granted
403
00:15:08,913 --> 00:15:11,156
when she's old and alone
in that big house
404
00:15:11,242 --> 00:15:14,250
and realizes all that money
can't keep her warm.
405
00:15:14,607 --> 00:15:16,289
What is happening?
406
00:15:16,556 --> 00:15:18,422
Movies in a laundromat now?
407
00:15:18,508 --> 00:15:21,438
Can't hipsters just let a thing
be a thing?
408
00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:24,906
There is much
I wish to say to you, Alexei,
409
00:15:25,181 --> 00:15:27,469
not just now,
but for long time.
410
00:15:27,555 --> 00:15:31,211
How could one slight
cost 20 years friendship?
411
00:15:31,425 --> 00:15:35,094
Silly 19th century
Russian pride?
412
00:15:35,379 --> 00:15:38,531
Why we not have courage
to take chance on love?
413
00:15:38,617 --> 00:15:40,008
Fools, us humans.
414
00:15:40,094 --> 00:15:41,149
It's not too late.
415
00:15:41,235 --> 00:15:42,351
It is for me,
416
00:15:42,407 --> 00:15:43,969
my great, great friend.
417
00:15:44,055 --> 00:15:47,164
I go now to grand Kremlin
in the sky.
418
00:15:48,902 --> 00:15:50,461
It's chilly.
419
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,094
Chili.
420
00:15:53,184 --> 00:15:54,781
Why did he have
to mention that?
421
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:57,422
We were supposed to cook
together this morning, Cam.
422
00:15:57,508 --> 00:15:58,547
I waited for you.
423
00:15:58,633 --> 00:16:00,516
But I was there on your front
porch with flours.
424
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:01,805
You remembered
the thickeners?
425
00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:03,930
Of course I did.
I thought you forgot.
426
00:16:04,905 --> 00:16:06,610
I have an identical one
for you!
427
00:16:06,703 --> 00:16:08,688
Oh, Jay, you
don't know how much this means to me!
428
00:16:08,774 --> 00:16:10,875
Lily, you... you have
to apologize to Christina.
429
00:16:10,961 --> 00:16:11,977
That's right.
430
00:16:12,063 --> 00:16:14,180
Don't be like me and Cam
and Sergei and Alexei.
431
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:16,031
Pride is poison!
Yes, open your heart!
432
00:16:16,117 --> 00:16:17,688
Let yourself love!
433
00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:19,357
Jay...
434
00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:21,352
So, nobody's
wondering why Uncle Phil
435
00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:23,359
is starring
in a laundromat movie?
436
00:16:25,929 --> 00:16:28,055
N-No-o-o-o!
437
00:16:43,946 --> 00:16:45,195
So?
438
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,430
It's...
439
00:16:46,515 --> 00:16:47,865
not very good.
440
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,860
I knew it.
I wasted my time.
441
00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:51,963
But it's much better
than the last one,
442
00:16:52,049 --> 00:16:53,833
and there was one moment
when Count Ivanovich was...
443
00:16:53,918 --> 00:16:55,931
Was playing chess with the
bear that really moved me.
444
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:56,841
Well, that was
supposed to be
445
00:16:56,926 --> 00:16:58,220
the emotional gestalt
of the piece.
446
00:16:58,305 --> 00:16:59,823
You can hear me stifle
a sob in the cut
447
00:16:59,908 --> 00:17:01,759
because my boom operator
was undermining me.
448
00:17:01,845 --> 00:17:04,094
You had an astonishingly
toxic set.
449
00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:06,156
Listen, Manny,
if I was your dad,
450
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,848
I might tell you to play it safe
with your career.
451
00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,141
But as a fan,
452
00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:11,044
I'm dying to see
what you come up with next.
453
00:17:11,134 --> 00:17:12,438
- Really?
- Yeah.
454
00:17:12,524 --> 00:17:14,814
I've been watching you make up
stories since you were this big.
455
00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:15,923
I want to see how it ends.
456
00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:17,025
Not that.
457
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:19,571
I-I want to see
how this ends.
458
00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:21,625
Thanks, Phil.
459
00:17:21,711 --> 00:17:23,227
I would like
to keep trying,
460
00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:24,729
maybe something
not so commercial.
461
00:17:24,815 --> 00:17:26,196
That's great.
462
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:29,186
I do think it's the end of the
road for me as a thespian, though.
463
00:17:29,272 --> 00:17:30,680
Probably best.
464
00:17:30,766 --> 00:17:33,406
Well, I did have a part in my
next film for a guy your age,
465
00:17:33,492 --> 00:17:35,977
but you'd have to grow
a Fu Manchu moustache
466
00:17:36,063 --> 00:17:37,580
and gain 40 pounds
in two weeks.
467
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:39,078
I'll be ready Tuesday.
468
00:17:39,778 --> 00:17:41,297
- Cilantro.
- Yes.
469
00:17:41,383 --> 00:17:43,571
- Diced red onion?
- You are good.
470
00:17:43,657 --> 00:17:45,367
Hey, don't run away
with the rest of that.
471
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,359
- Ugh, what am I looking at?
- Mmm.
472
00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:50,527
Mitch, come here. Show them how
to be a real man.
473
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:54,332
He has been getting
threatening texts all day
474
00:17:54,418 --> 00:17:57,856
from a fugitive,
and he hasn't even flinched.
475
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:00,363
Well, they're lucky
they're pretty, right?
476
00:18:01,107 --> 00:18:03,496
Daddy,
can I borrow your phone?
477
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,668
I want to apologize
to Christina.
478
00:18:05,769 --> 00:18:08,185
Lily, no.
His phone might be evidence
479
00:18:08,271 --> 00:18:10,762
- in a murder trial.
- Whose?
480
00:18:10,972 --> 00:18:13,770
Sweetie, have you been using
Daddy's phone to text your friend?
481
00:18:13,856 --> 00:18:15,272
Yeah, and I said
some mean stuff.
482
00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:17,535
She's probably
been texting me back.
483
00:18:18,599 --> 00:18:21,020
My God. Okay, okay.
484
00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:22,466
"I'm... I'm right outside
your house.
485
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:23,949
This ends now."
486
00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:25,129
Oh!
487
00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:26,521
"P.S., your hair's ugly."
488
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:28,891
It's a bluff.
She's not out there.
489
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,645
I mean, if you want
to go check, check.
490
00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:33,426
You know, us weaklings
would feel so much better
491
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,801
if you would just take a quick look.
Please.
492
00:18:35,887 --> 00:18:37,895
Well, as... as lawman
and protector,
493
00:18:37,981 --> 00:18:40,973
that is something that
I... I can do.
494
00:18:46,419 --> 00:18:48,035
- Hey.
- Ohh!
495
00:18:52,207 --> 00:18:53,738
Thank you for this, Dylan,
496
00:18:53,824 --> 00:18:55,996
and I appreciate you
forgiving me
497
00:18:56,082 --> 00:18:57,785
for the dumb thing
I said earlier.
498
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,082
Who said I forgave you?
499
00:18:59,168 --> 00:19:00,340
I'm only treating your injury
500
00:19:00,426 --> 00:19:02,262
because you're a guest
in my home.
501
00:19:03,307 --> 00:19:04,895
I know it may seem
502
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:06,732
that I haven't always
accepted you,
503
00:19:06,818 --> 00:19:08,121
but when I met you,
504
00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:10,307
you were an 18-year-old
in a leather jacket
505
00:19:10,393 --> 00:19:12,417
dating my
15-year-old daughter.
506
00:19:12,503 --> 00:19:13,503
I get it.
507
00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:15,043
You were trying
to protect your daughter
508
00:19:15,128 --> 00:19:16,044
from a guy like me,
509
00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:17,340
but I haven't been
a guy like me
510
00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:18,425
for a long time.
511
00:19:18,541 --> 00:19:19,603
Bend for me.
512
00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:20,736
It's hard, Dylan.
513
00:19:20,822 --> 00:19:22,542
I have been a mama bear
for so long...
514
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,946
- No, your elbow.
- Oh.
515
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,353
Okay.
516
00:19:26,728 --> 00:19:29,393
It's j... It's all happening
so fast.
517
00:19:29,479 --> 00:19:31,081
But it is happening.
518
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:34,104
I'm about to be the father
to your grandbabies.
519
00:19:34,529 --> 00:19:36,089
Reach out a little.
520
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,706
I meant emotionally.
521
00:19:37,792 --> 00:19:38,807
Oh.
522
00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:40,210
I can look
myself in the mirror
523
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:41,679
and know
that I've tried my hardest
524
00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,745
to make
our relationship work.
525
00:19:44,009 --> 00:19:45,643
Can you do the same?
526
00:19:46,629 --> 00:19:48,120
Go ahead.
527
00:19:49,159 --> 00:19:50,994
Here, let me give you
some light.
528
00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:53,403
Oops, uh, not that one.
529
00:19:53,489 --> 00:19:54,565
No.
530
00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:57,917
There are a lot of ways
for a family to grow...
531
00:19:58,003 --> 00:20:01,042
- Touchdown!
- Touchdown!
532
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,412
Finding interests you
didn't know you shared...
533
00:20:04,498 --> 00:20:06,425
- Eh...
- Come on, I've got two weeks!
534
00:20:06,511 --> 00:20:07,901
Blur your eyes.
Look at this.
535
00:20:07,987 --> 00:20:11,667
Finding new challenges
to embark on together...
536
00:20:12,304 --> 00:20:14,112
But it takes a lot of work.
537
00:20:14,885 --> 00:20:19,721
The best way for families
to grow is by adding to them.
538
00:20:19,807 --> 00:20:24,792
So this is to the newest members
of our family.
539
00:20:24,917 --> 00:20:28,612
I look forward to getting
to know all of you.
540
00:20:28,843 --> 00:20:30,964
- Love you.
- Cheers.
541
00:20:33,354 --> 00:20:36,870
I'm... f-f... f-freezing.
542
00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:38,487
Cut!
543
00:20:39,066 --> 00:20:40,800
Could it be any colder?
544
00:20:40,886 --> 00:20:42,198
No!
545
00:20:43,684 --> 00:20:45,721
Fur hat weather, no?
546
00:20:45,807 --> 00:20:46,807
No!
547
00:20:47,098 --> 00:20:48,448
"I'm so cold."
548
00:20:48,534 --> 00:20:49,737
"I'm so cold."
549
00:20:49,823 --> 00:20:52,675
"I'm so cold!"
And action.
550
00:20:54,526 --> 00:20:56,901
Um... brr, am I right?
551
00:20:56,987 --> 00:20:58,854
You've got to be kidding me.
39945
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