Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:06,296
So I told Carl, nobody, no matter
how famous their parents are...
2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,924
...nobody is allowed
to climb on the dinosaur.
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,427
But of course,
this went right in one ear...
4
00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,346
I love how he cares so much
about stuff.
5
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,475
If I squint, I can pretend he's Alan Alda.
6
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,897
Oh, good. Another dinosaur story.
7
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,027
When are those gonna become extinct?
8
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:34,658
If I was a superhero
who could fly and be invisible...
9
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,077
...that would be the best.
10
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,293
What does Rachel see in this guy?
11
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,629
I love Rachel.
12
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,593
I wish she was my wife.
13
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,815
Who's singing?
14
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,995
Hey, when you guys were kids
and you played Happy Days...
15
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,874
...who were you? I was always Richie.
- I was always Joanie.
16
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:10,295
Question: Was, uh, "Egg the Gellers"
the war cry of your neighborhood?
17
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,049
Ew, ew! It's the Mattress King.
18
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,884
- Don't look. Change the channel.
Boo!
19
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,679
Wait. I want to see this.
After I divorce him...
20
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,974
...half of that kingdom
is gonna be mine.
21
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,227
Despair fills the mattress showroom.
22
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,313
My kingdom is suddenly
without a queen.
23
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,065
I'm so depressed...
24
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,817
...I'm going to slash...
25
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,111
...my prices! Check it out!
26
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:38,365
599 for a California king.
499 for a pillow-top queen set.
27
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,826
I'm going medieval on prices.
28
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,870
What a wank.
29
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:47,082
Oh, I cannot believe he's using
our divorce to sell mattresses.
30
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:51,420
I know. At 499 for a pillow-top queen,
who cares about the divorce?
31
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,922
Those babies will sell themselves.
32
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,886
And I'm appalled for you, by the way.
33
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,432
I'm close. I'm cheap. I'm the king.
34
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:12,316
Okay. Okay, Daddy. We'll see you
tomorrow night. Okay, bye-bye.
35
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,277
- "We"?
- Ahem.
36
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:19,948
- Are, uh, having dinner with my dad
tomorrow night. I hope that's okay.
37
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,409
Oh, shoot. Tomorrow's not good.
38
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,078
I'm supposed to, um, fall off
the Empire State Building...
39
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,623
...and land on a bicycle
with no seat, so...
40
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,419
Ross, my father doesn't hate you.
41
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,631
Please. He refers to me as "Wet-Head. "
42
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,259
Honey, he calls everybody
by a nickname.
43
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,721
Okay, look, I know. Just one dinner.
Please, one night. For me. Please?
44
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,724
I just want him to love you like I do.
45
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,852
All right. Well, not exactly like I do.
46
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,688
But if you do come to dinner...
47
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:55,234
...I'll love you like I do
in that black thing that you like.
48
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,361
I'll go.
49
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,492
- Fine.
- Thank you.
50
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,497
Hi, Gunther.
51
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,707
Yeah. We'll see.
52
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,336
- Hey, you guys.
Hey.
53
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,088
Hey. Hey.
- Guess what.
54
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,881
- I got a gig.
- Great.
55
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,593
See, that's why I can never be an actor.
Because I can't say "gig. "
56
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,013
Yeah, I can't say "croissant. "
Oh, my God.
57
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,809
- What's the part?
- It's not a part. No.
58
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,979
I'm teaching Acting for Soap Operas
at the Learning Extension.
59
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,397
Come on. That's great.
60
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:36,149
It's like my chance
to give something back...
61
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,485
...to the acting community.
62
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,905
You know, you're probably not allowed
to sleep with any of your students.
63
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,537
I know.
64
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,795
Ugh. I don't know, Monica.
It feels funny just being here.
65
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,756
I mean, if you buy a bed
from Janice's ex-husband...
66
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,675
...that's like betraying Chandler.
67
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,052
Not at these prices.
68
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,183
Hi.
69
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:14,104
You know, in England this car would be
on the other side of the store.
70
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,527
Whoosh.
71
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,406
Oh, oh, oh.
72
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,825
Phoebe, come here.
73
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,952
Ah, this is my new bed.
74
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,913
You gotta feel this bad boy.
75
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,208
Ugh. Monica, it still feels so weird,
you know?
76
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,877
Chandler's your friend. Oh.
77
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,588
Oh, my God.
78
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:45,385
Oh. All right, take this bed.
You can make other friends. Oh.
79
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,103
Good evening.
80
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,773
I am Mr. Tribbiani.
81
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,777
And I will be teaching
Acting for Soap Operas.
82
00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:03,820
Now, um...
83
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:09,409
...on my first day as Dr. Drake
Ramoray on Days of our Lives...
84
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:15,332
...uh, ahem, I learned that
one of the most important things...
85
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,502
...in soap opera acting is reacting.
86
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,380
This does not mean acting again.
87
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,051
It means you don't have a line,
but someone else just did.
88
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,595
And it goes something like this. Ahem.
89
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,020
Thanks. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
90
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,023
By the way, before I forget.
To work in soap operas...
91
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,235
...some of you are gonna have to become
much more attractive.
92
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,154
All right, moving right along...
93
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,868
- Hi.
- Hey.
94
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:55,664
- Oh! How was teaching last night?
- Oh, it was great. You get to say stuff like:
95
00:06:55,873 --> 00:07:00,419
"Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you.
I dismiss you. "
96
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,296
- Oh, nice.
- Yeah.
97
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,799
Oh, and guess what.
I got an audition for All My Children.
98
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,968
- Oh, yay!
- Yeah, it's this great part.
99
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,678
This boxer named Nick.
100
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,597
And I'm so, so right for it, you know?
He's just like me...
101
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,599
...except that he's a boxer...
102
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,393
...and has an evil twin.
103
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,271
Oh.
104
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,275
Dum-datta-dum.
105
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,695
Hear ye, hear ye.
Delivery from the Mattress King.
106
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,740
You Miss Geller?
107
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,076
- Okay.
- Sign here.
108
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,037
- Ooh. Do I have a middle name?
- Mm-hm.
109
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,374
All right. Monica Felula...
110
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,293
...Geller.
111
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,462
It's that bedroom there.
112
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,217
Hey, Monica bought a bed
from the Mattress King?
113
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,721
Yeah. So please, please, please
don't say anything to Chandler.
114
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,682
- You want me to lie to Chandler?
- Is that a problem?
115
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,392
No.
116
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,146
Oh, hey, hey, Nick the boxer.
Let's see what you got.
117
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,064
- Yeah.
- All right, put them up. Come on.
118
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,650
- Hey, you're pretty good at this.
- Ha, ha.
119
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,944
Yeah, I had to learn.
I was staying at the Y...
120
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,739
...and some of the young men
weren't acting Christian enough.
121
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,203
Hey, now. Hey.
122
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,331
- Ow. And I'm bleeding. Okay, great.
- Oh, oh!
123
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,083
Wow. And I'm a vegetarian.
124
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,712
All right, I'm sorry.
We'll put some ice on it.
125
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,964
- Put your head back. Ooh.
- Okay. All right.
126
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,758
- I can't see.
- I have you.
127
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,051
Oh, God.
128
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,888
Which bedroom
do you want it in, Ms. Geller?
129
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:38,308
Oh. It's the compulsively neat one
by the window, okay?
130
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,101
Gotcha.
131
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,693
Hi, Daddy.
132
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,654
This is where they put us?
133
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:53,782
What? There was no table
available in the kitchen?
134
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,618
- Hello, baby.
- You remember Ross.
135
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,787
- Mm-hm.
- Nice to see you again, Dr. Green.
136
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,122
So.
137
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,005
- How's the library?
- Uh, museum.
138
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,343
- What happened to the library?
- There never was a library.
139
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,137
I mean, there are libraries.
It's just that I, um...
140
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,807
I've never worked at one. Ha, ha.
141
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,603
You know what's really good here?
142
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,146
- The lobster.
- Mm.
143
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:29,568
- What do you say? Shall I just order three?
- Yeah, if you're really hungry. Ha, ha.
144
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,116
It was a joke. I made a joke.
145
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,245
Yeah, actually, Daddy,
Ross is allergic to lobster.
146
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,080
What kind of person's
allergic to lobster?
147
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,000
I guess the kind of person
that works in a library. Ha, ha.
148
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,835
- It's not...
- I know. It's a museum.
149
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,671
What, you're the only who can make a joke?
At least mine was funny.
150
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,840
Uh, waiter.
151
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,968
We will have two lobsters and a menu.
152
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,641
So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat?
153
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,685
They found rust.
154
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,814
- Do you know what rust does to a boat?
- Gives it a nice antique-y look?
155
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:16,448
Rust is boat cancer, Ross.
156
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,074
Wow, I'm sorry.
157
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,577
When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that.
Ha, ha.
158
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,376
Excuse me for a moment,
will you, please?
159
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,879
I wanna say good night
to the Levines before we go.
160
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,714
Okay.
161
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,886
Honey, stop. It's not that bad.
162
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,013
Yeah. Oh.
163
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,724
Uh-oh. I think your dad
must have added wrong.
164
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,559
He only tipped, like, 4 percent.
165
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,561
Yeah. Ahem, that's Daddy.
166
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:51,316
"That's Daddy"? Doesn't it
bother you? You're a waitress.
167
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,109
Yes, it bothers me, Ross.
168
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,570
But, you know, if he was a regular
at the coffee house...
169
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,405
...I'd be serving him sneezers.
170
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,158
- So?
- So, Ross...
171
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:04,329
...I've bugged him about this
a million times. He's not gonna change.
172
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,873
Do you really serve people sneezers?
173
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,668
Ahem, well, um, I don't.
174
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,671
- All right, kids. Ready?
- Yes.
175
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,632
- Thanks again, Dr. Green.
- Uh-huh.
176
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,181
Wait, wait, wait,
I think I forgot my receipt.
177
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,225
- Oh, you don't need that.
- Ahem, why not?
178
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:29,562
The carbon. It's messy. I mean,
gets on your fingers and causes...
179
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,272
...the, uh, night blindness.
180
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,277
What is this?
181
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,321
Who put a 20 down here?
182
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,740
- Huh?
- Oh, yeah, that would be me.
183
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,951
Um, I have... I have a problem.
184
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,286
I tip way too much, way, way too much.
185
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,539
- It's a sickness, really.
- Yeah, it is. It is.
186
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,792
- We have to do something about that.
- Excuse me.
187
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,044
You think I'm cheap?
188
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,505
- He didn't mean anything by that.
- Huh?
189
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:59,426
- He really didn't.
- Nothing I do means anything. Really.
190
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,930
This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner.
191
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:07,434
You put down 20 and you come out
looking like Mr. Big-Shot.
192
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,352
- You really wanna be Mr. Big-Shot?
- Oh.
193
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:14,399
Here. I'll tell you what. You pay the
whole bill, Mr. Big-Shot. All right?
194
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,613
Well, "Mr. Big-Shot"
is better than "Wet-Head. "
195
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,325
Okay, some tricks of the trade.
196
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,828
Now, I've never been able to cry
as an actor...
197
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,581
...so if I'm in a scene
where I have to cry...
198
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,666
...I cut a hole in my pocket...
199
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,043
...take a pair of tweezers...
200
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,337
...and just start pulling.
201
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:42,010
Okay. Or uh...
Or let's say I want to convey...
202
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,096
...that I've, uh,
just done something evil.
203
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:49,267
Well, that would be your basic I've-got-a
fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-I-like-it.
204
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:57,025
No? Okay.
Let's say I've just gotten bad news.
205
00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:02,363
Well, all I do there
is try and divide 232 by 13.
206
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,791
And that's how it's done.
207
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,335
Great soap opera acting
tonight, everybody.
208
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,253
Class dismissed.
209
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,965
- Hey, Mr. Trib.
- Hey.
210
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,176
Guess what. I got an audition.
211
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,805
Oh. One of my students got an audition.
I'm so proud.
212
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,892
I was wondering if you would consider
coaching me for it.
213
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,895
- Oh, you bet. What's the part?
- Oh, it's great.
214
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,898
It's a role on All My Children.
Nick the boxer.
215
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,909
Had to do it, didn't you?
You couldn't leave it alone.
216
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:52,580
Four percent, okay? I tip more than that
when there's a bug in my food.
217
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,625
Ross, tonight was about the two of you
getting along.
218
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,918
Ugh.
219
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,628
Would you see
my chiropractor already?
220
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:02,882
Yeah, I'm gonna go to a doctor who went
to medical school in a mini-mall.
221
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,222
Hey, Pheebs. What are you doing?
222
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,225
I'm... I'm freaking out.
223
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:18,147
Monica kind of trusted me with something
and she shouldn't have.
224
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,276
All right, I haven't lived here in a while,
so I have to ask you.
225
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,820
Does Monica still turn the lights on
in her bedroom?
226
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,907
- Ahem. Yeah.
- I am so dead.
227
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,453
All right, look,
here's the bottom line, Ross.
228
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,164
This is fixable if we act fast, okay?
229
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,126
So I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow
and you can make nice.
230
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,546
Honey, I have tried to make nice.
It doesn't work.
231
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,882
Okay. Look,
I realize my father is difficult...
232
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:47,677
...but that's why you have got to be
the bigger man here.
233
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:51,556
Look, sweetie, I could be the bigger man.
I could be the biggest man.
234
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:55,435
I could be a big, huge, giant man
and it still wouldn't make a difference.
235
00:14:55,644 --> 00:15:00,023
Except that I could pick your father up
and say, "Like me. Like me, tiny doctor. "
236
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:05,320
Okay, well, can't you just try it
one more time, Ross? For me? For me?
237
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,114
Rachel, one brunch
is not gonna solve anything.
238
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,575
You've gotta face it.
We're never gonna get along.
239
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,994
Okay, well, you are just going to have to.
240
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,748
Okay? I've already got a mother and father
who cannot stay in the same room.
241
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,917
I don't want to have
a separate room for you too.
242
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,169
Okay, okay. Okay.
243
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,671
I'll get the bagels.
244
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,261
What's this?
245
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,015
Isn't it cool? Vroom. Vroom.
246
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,726
This is not the bed I ordered.
247
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:40,688
I know. You must have won,
like, a contest or something.
248
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,733
Phoebe.
249
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,277
Why is this car in my bedroom?
250
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,529
I'm sorry, okay. I wasn't looking...
251
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,741
...and the store said that they won't
take it back because you signed for it.
252
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,702
- When did I sign for it?
- When I was you.
253
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:58,539
You know what? It's all Joey's fault
because he left his nose open.
254
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,751
Did you make brownies today?
255
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,504
Knock, knock.
256
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,674
Quick. Take off your dress.
He won't notice the bed.
257
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,719
Hey, I'm going for sushi.
Does anybody want, uh...?
258
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,599
Whoa. Somebody missed the off-ramp.
259
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,521
It's Monica's bed. What?
260
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,398
Okay...
261
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,234
It's a race car.
262
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,113
So? This has always been Monica's bed.
What, you're just noticing now?
263
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,906
How self-involved are you?
264
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,660
Okay, well, if this bed isn't new...
265
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,371
...then how come there's plastic
on the mattress?
266
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,458
Sometimes I have bad dreams.
267
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,006
Look...
268
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:52,719
...I just saw my best friend's brain
smeared across the canvas.
269
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,512
It's not gonna be me.
270
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,472
Not me.
271
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,225
Wow.
272
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,812
That was good. That was...
273
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,481
- Tweezers?
- No.
274
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:06,774
Oh, wow.
275
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,945
- That was really good.
- Thanks.
276
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,697
Any suggestions?
277
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,158
Hmm, I...
278
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,331
You told him to play the boxer gay?
279
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:30,298
Well, I might have said "super-gay. "
280
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,259
You totally screwed him over.
281
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,471
Joey, you're this guy's teacher.
I mean, how could you do this?
282
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,723
Because, Monica, the guy's so good.
283
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,184
And I really, really want this part.
284
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,353
Well, if you really, really want it,
then it's okay.
285
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,566
- Hi, Daddy.
- Baby.
286
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,072
- Ross?
- Dr. Green, how are you?
287
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,409
Thanks for dinner last night.
288
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:01,204
Thank you for teaching me
a valuable lesson.
289
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,956
Nice hair. What did you do, swim here?
290
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,088
Okay, that's it. I can't take it anymore.
291
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,798
What, what? He's interested in you.
292
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:15,384
- He just wants to know how you got here.
- Oh, please.
293
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:19,180
- Sweetie, it's hopeless. I'm just gonna go.
- What? Ross.
294
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,349
- I'm sorry. It's just...
Ross?
295
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,101
What's with the neck?
296
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:26,145
He's got this thing and I keep
telling him to go to my chiropractor.
297
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,231
You still going to that chiropractor?
298
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,775
That man couldn't get into med school
in Ixtapa.
299
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,237
Yeah, thank you.
That's what I keep saying.
300
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:38,199
Excuse me, ahem, Dr. Bobby happens
to be an excellent doctor.
301
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,577
Wait a minute. His name is Dr. Bobby?
302
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,081
- Well, that's his last name.
- And his first name.
303
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,542
He's Bobby Bobby?
304
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,795
Ahem. It's Robert Bobby.
305
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,213
Oh.
306
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,966
And, um, excuse me. He helps me.
307
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,344
- Oh. Please. Ask her how?
- What do you need help for?
308
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,805
With my alignment.
One leg's shorter than the other.
309
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,224
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. Argue with that.
310
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,601
What? It's true.
My right leg is two inches shorter.
311
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,979
Come on, you're just tilting.
312
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,190
- Her legs are fine.
- I know that.
313
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,235
- So why do you let her go to a chiropractor?
- I'm sorry, "Let her"?
314
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,947
What can I do? She doesn't listen to me
about renter's insurance, either.
315
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,992
Wait a minute.
You don't have renter's insurance?
316
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,079
- No. Ahem.
- So, what if somebody steals something?
317
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:29,917
How you gonna run after him
with one leg shorter than the other?
318
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,383
Hey, would you, uh...?
Would you like some juice?
319
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,969
- I'd love some juice.
- Okay.
320
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,140
Well, this is going so well.
Did you see us? Did you see?
321
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,893
Yeah, honey. I was standing right there.
322
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,770
Why don't you tell him about the mole
I haven't gotten checked?
323
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,272
Excellent.
324
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,237
There will come a time
in each of your careers...
325
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:02,491
...when you'll have a chance to screw over
another soap opera actor.
326
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,954
I had such an opportunity
in the recent present.
327
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,459
And I'm ashamed to say...
328
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,252
...that I took it.
329
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,633
I advised a fellow actor to play a role...
330
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,552
...homosexually.
331
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:25,973
Yeah.
332
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,560
We both auditioned for the part and, uh...
333
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,980
...as it turned out...
334
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,399
...they...
335
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:40,029
They liked the stupid gay thing
and cast him.
336
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,991
And now...
337
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:47,078
...he's got a two-year contract...
338
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,581
...opposite Susan Lucci...
339
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,918
...the first lady of daytime television.
340
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,170
And me?
341
00:20:56,672 --> 00:21:00,466
Me, I'm stuck here teaching
a bunch of people...
342
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,970
...most of whom are too ugly
to even be on TV.
343
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,933
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
344
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,319
Thank you.
345
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,200
- Uh, may I help you?
- Yes, hi.
346
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,786
I'm the lady who got stuck
with the race-car bed.
347
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:33,374
Look, it's like I told you.
There's nothing I can do.
348
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:37,837
You signed for it.
"Monica Felula Geller. "
349
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,715
All right, jester man, look,
we wanna see the king.
350
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,842
Nobody sees the king.
351
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,928
Okay. I'm talking to the king.
352
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,097
Hey, you can't go back there.
353
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,732
Oh, my God.
354
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,706
Hey, watch it, lady.
355
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,922
Hey, good-looking.
356
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,559
All right, I'll leave.
357
00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,978
My bed's so boring.
27879
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
